Half Love
by roadtoforever
Summary: Ellie Grey is a new resident at Seattle Grace...but will that fact that she's both Addisons best friend and Merediths sister make things harder for everyone? Chapter 56 is up! Read and Review please! Addek incase you were wondering.
1. Here We Go

**I know, I know. Those of you that read Taking Time are going, "What the hell? She should be working on the next chapter of that not a new story!" Yeah, well…so what. I'm losing my edge on Taking Time, maybe due to the lack of reviews, maybe due to the fact that I'm not able to watch _Gilmore Girls_ on its regular night due to one of my college classes. Regardless, I'm now incredibly addicted to _Grey's Anatomy_ and I thought of this idea that seemed spectacular to me. You might hate it, but give me a chance, will ya? Trust me. I'm good at this. ;) (I'm not cocky, I swear.)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own _Grey's Anatomy_, although I'd give my left leg to own Patrick Dempsey. I do, however, own the character of Ellie.**

**Takes place: Starting the day after Meredith dropped Doc off at Derek and Addison's in "Tell Me Sweet Little Lies".**

**Summary: With a surgeon on bed-rest (Bailey) and the nurses set to go on strike, Addison Shepherd calls in a favor from New York. The kicker is that there's more to this "favor" than meets the eye.**

**Chapter Title: "Here We Go" by Trina**

**Half Love**

**"Here We Go"**

_If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine Floor. - Neil Simon_

**January 25th, 2006**

**1:00 P.M.**

"Ellie, please."

"Addison, I don't know…"

"We need you. One of our surgeons is on bed rest, there is a nurses strike that is about to go down…" The woman on the other end of the line burst in to laughter. "What?"

"Don't say 'about to go down' Addison. It doesn't suit you." Addison groaned. "Sorry, sorry…keep going."

"I was just going to say, if this is about Derek…"

"It's not." The woman said, cutting Addison off. "It's not at all about Derek."

"Oh, please."

"Okay, maybe it's a little about Derek."

"Look, I know you hate him because of what happened with him and …"

"Addie, I don't hate him. " She said, sighing. "He aggravates me to the end of the earth and on certain days I would like to strangle him…slowly…but I don't hate him."

"Please."

The woman sighed. "Okay, but on one condition."

"Anything. You're my hero right now."

"Don't tell Derek I'm coming. And don't tell her either."

* * *

**January 27th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

Meredith Grey padded down the hallway, only half awake. She'd spent the entire night dreaming about Derek, and Doc, and them living in the trailer with Addison. As much as she wanted George to stay rather than Doc, she'd hated dropping the dog off. It was just one more piece of her life that she was handing over to Addison Shepherd. As she walked back in to her room from the bathroom, she went in to a panic. How could she not have set her alarm? She had 15 minutes to get George and Izzie up, get ready, and get to Seattle Grace without Bailey…Meredith paused. Bailey was on bed rest. Meredith grinned and then raced in to Izzie's room to wake her sleeping roommate.

"What the hell?" Izzie sat up, rubbing her eyes and then glancing at the clock. "Meredith! Bailey's going to kill us!"

Meredith grinned. "Bailey is on bed rest." Izzie took a moment to register what Meredith had said, and then smiled. "We still have to be on time, just not on Nazi time. I'm going to go wake George." Meredith tiptoed down the hall and slid in to Georges room, opening and closing the door silently. She crawled on to the double bed, and lying down next to him, curled in the fetal position, facing him. "George…" He groaned and pulled the comforter over his head. "George, you have to get up. " George moved the comforter and opened one eye, then jumped back, both eyes wide, almost falling off the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Waking you up." Meredith said innocently, smiling and sitting up.

George glanced at the clock. "Bailey's going to kill us."

"Did everyone else forget the Bailey's on bed rest?"

George laughed. "Yeah, I did." He stood and began to strip tossing his shirt on to the bed and reaching for his waistband before realizing that Meredith was still in the room. "Out!"

"Oh, George."

"Get out! Just because you're having a good morning, doesn't mean the rest of us are. Move it!" Meredith grinned and left the room, leaving George standing near the window, his head against the glass.

* * *

**8:00 A.M.**

"We're getting some substitute resident from New York." Cristina said, sitting down next to Meredith. "Don't know who, don't know why, don't know when, all I know is, she's younger than Bailey, nicer than Bailey, and a friend of Montgomery Shepherds."

"Goodie." Meredith slammed her head back against the wall, the loud banging sound making Cristina jump.

"Doesn't that hurt?" She asked, inspecting the section of wall Meredith's head had connected with, and then inspecting Meredith's head.

"I've done it enough times, that no, it doesn't hurt."

"Eventually, it will start to get painful." Meredith looked up in to the eyes of Addison Shepherd, and managed a smile. "Thanks for the dog. There was too much room in the trailer."

"You took it. Give it back if it's too crowded." Meredith snapped, slamming her head against the wall again.

"I was joking." Meredith cringed. "It's okay. I get why you hate me."

"I don't hate you." Meredith choked out, her head still against the wall.

"No, I believe despise is the correct word." Cristina said, smiling maniacally at Addison.

"She's kidding." Meredith said, lifting her head back up. "I promise."

Addison shrugged. "Whatever. Look, I was going to go pick up the new resident at the airport, but I have a surgery. Grey, I want you in the surgery with me. So, Yang, can you go to the airport?"

Cristina looked at Meredith, and then back at Addison. "Seriously?"

"Yes. I would send Derek, but, well, the person that needs to be picked up doesn't want to see him yet. And I want Grey in this surgery. So, it's either you or O'Malley. Although, I guess you could go with O'Malley."

Cristina looked down and sighed. "Whatever. I'll go. What time?"

"Her flight gets in at 10:00." Cristina nodded and took a piece of paper with the flight information on it. "Thanks."

"Uh-huh. Um, how am I going to know who this person is?"

"I told her to meet me by baggage claim. She's blonde and she'll have a black suitcase. Or a few black suitcases. And, her name is Ellie."

"Ellie what?"

Addison looked at Meredith, who didn't notice, and then back at Cristina. "Just Ellie."

* * *

**10:30 A.M.**

Cristina leaned on George in the baggage claim, looking around for "Just Ellie". George's eyes were closed, and Cristina was drifting, both figuring, hell, if they can't sleep anywhere else, why not sleep here?

"Excuse me." George's eyes flew open and he took a step backwards, causing Cristina to stumble.

"Hey…" Cristina opened her mouth to rip on George when she realized why he had stepped backwards. "Are you Ellie?"

"Yeah. I just got off the phone with Addison Shepherd. Sorry I kept you waiting so long; I never thought she might send someone else to come get me."

"Don't worry about it." George said, looking down. "Is this all yours?"

Ellie blushed. "I know four suitcases is a bit much, but there was some stuff I really needed." George nodded and reached for the bags. "Oh, you don't have to do that. I can handle most of them on my own."

"No, let him do it." Cristina said, smiling. "I want to see how long it takes before he collapses in pain."

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"Meredith?" George came flying in to the locker room, running almost directly in to his roommate. "Have you seen the new resident?"

"No. I just got out of surgery. I'm supposed to go meet her. I guess she wants to meet all of the interns."

George nodded. "Yeah. She got to know Cristina and I on the way here from the airport. She's really nice, but…"

"But what?"

George sighed. "You'll see." The two interns walked out of the locker room together, and made their way down the hall in silence. As they reached the front desk, Meredith froze.

"No way." She grinned and raced towards the front desk. "Ellie!"

Ellie turned and smiled. "Hi kid!" Ellie wrapped Meredith in a hug and held her close. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Meredith stepped back and smiled. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Wanted to surprise you. Also, I didn't want McDicky to know." Meredith rolled her eyes and Cristina and George laughed.

"McDicky?" Cristina smiled. "So much better than McDreamy." Meredith hit Cristina's arm and rolled her eyes.

"Watch what you say." Meredith said, turning to Ellie. "He's still your attending." Ellie cringed. "Hey, do you have a place to stay?"

"Only if there's room at the house."

"There is. How long are you here?"

"I'm not sure. I have to check with Addison." Ellie looked around. "Is this everyone?"

Meredith nodded. "You already know George and Cristina, and then these two are Alex and Izzie."

"It's nice to meet all of you. I'm going to be your 'substitute resident' until Dr. Bailey gets back. I'm from New York, Addison Shepherd was my resident advisor, as well as my attending before she came here. My name is Ellie, but only in private. If there are patients or doctors at a higher station than me around, you will address me as Dr. Grey."

"You have the same last name as Meredith." Alex said, speaking before thinking.

"Thank you Alex. I hadn't noticed that. My full name is Eliot Grey, and yes, Meredith and I do have the same last name. First test: Can anyone guess why?"

George cleared his throat. "Are you her cousin or something?"

Ellie smiled. "Or something."

**Okay, so what do you think? Huh? Huh?**

**Review please! I thrive on feedback!**


	2. Just Might Make Me Believe

'**Kay so I'm really, really glad you guys liked this so much. Totally makes me smile.**

**Chapter Title: "Just Might (Make Me Believe)" by Sugarland**

**Half Love**

**"Just Might (Make Me Believe)"**

_Commitment in the face of conflict produces character. - Anonymous_

**January 27th, 2006**

**12:00 P.M.**

"Was Addison Shepherd really your resident advisor?"

Ellie turned to Cristina. "Yeah. You know, I know that you and Meredith aren't that fond of Addison, but she's a fabulous doctor, an excellent teacher, and she's not the one who lied to Meredith."

Cristina looked down. "I know. It's hard not to hate her. Meredith is in love with McDreamy, and he picked Montgomery Shepherd."

Ellie nodded and took a bite of her salad. "Look, I know that Meredith really loves him, and that he says he loves her, but…I was there when they got married. Derek really loves Addison too. Addison made a mistake by sleeping with Mark, but there isn't anything they can do to change the past. Addison feels horrible about the mistake she made, and now Derek is trying to forgive her, and he can't do that if he's still dating Meredith."

Cristina nodded. "I know, but he broke her."

"I know. I hate him for it too. That part isn't Addison's fault."

Cristina nodded again. "So, uh, why didn't you tell us how you're related to Meredith?"

Ellie stood. "Because. I know surgical interns. I was shunned when my co-workers found out that Ellis Grey was my mother."

Cristina laughed. "Meredith kind of was too." Ellie smiled and walked away before Cristina made the connection. "Uh…" Cristina gasped. "Oh!" Ellie turned back and winked before dumping her tray and walking out of the cafeteria.

* * *

**12:30 P.M.**

"Well I'll be damned." Ellie froze at the top of the stairs and groaned. "It's good to see you too, Dr. Grey."

"Dr. Shepherd." Ellie came walking down the stairs and stopped when she could stand next to him.

"No one told me you were our new resident."

"Did you ask?" Derek grinned and shook his head. "Where's Addie?" Derek pointed down the hall. "Thanks."

"Sure." As she walked down the hallway without another word, Derek sighed. "Ellie?" She turned, a solemn look on her face. "I know you hate me, but you should know…I'm sorry about how Meredith and I had to end everything." Ellie nodded. "I really am."

"I know, Derek." She smiled. "I know."

* * *

Addison stood in the bathroom, washing her hands, when the door opened behind her. She looked up, and, seeing Meredith, smiled and looked back down at her hands. 

"That's it? Six months and all I get from you is the smile you reserve only for my sister?"

Addison grinned. "I'm sorry Ellie. I didn't realize how much you and Meredith looked alike until you walked in here. I could have sworn you were Meredith." Addison hugged her old friend. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too. You should have invited me out here sooner."

Addison nodded. "I know. But with everything that was happening…I didn't need someone else on Meredith's side."

"Who says I would have sided with Meredith?" Addison raised her eyebrows. "Okay, so I probably would have, but she's my sister, how could I not?"

"I know. It was hard; it almost killed me when I realized that she was your sister. It was like karma was kicking me in the ass."

"Addie…"

"No, really. Sleep with your best friends boyfriend, and her sister will sleep with your husband." Ellie rolled her eyes. "I'm serious."

"I'm sure you are." Ellie leaned against the counter. "Lets just put the thing with Mark behind us. I don't care anymore."

"Right."

"Addie, don't underestimate me. I hate it when you do that. I am, in fact, capable of forgiveness."

Addison smiled. "I know you are."

"Good. So how long am I here for?"

"Dr. Bailey is on bed rest, and then I'm forcing her to take maternity leave. So, about two months."

"Great."

"Do the interns know that Meredith is your sister?"

"Cristina does."

Addison laughed. "So yeah, they do."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

Meredith sat down next to George in the cafeteria and put her head on the table. Two surgeries already, both with Addison, and Meredith was not enjoying herself.

"So…Ellie's your sister?"

Meredith's head shot up. "Who told you?"

"Cristina."

Meredith laughed. "Yeah, Ellie is my sister. She's my half-sister. I didn't even meet her until I was 13." George raised his eyebrows. "Mom cheated on Michael, Ellie's Dad, with my Dad when Ellie was 3. When my Dad found out that she was pregnant, he offered her a life that Michael couldn't. Michael and my Mom weren't married, so she just left Ellie with him and moved in with my Dad. When Michael died, Ellie was 16, and Mom and I were her only living relatives. She came to live with us for two years before heading to New York for college." Meredith sighed. "We grew up two blocks from each other. She babysat me once, when I was ten, and I had no idea we were related. Back then we didn't look so much alike."

"Are you glad she's here?"

Meredith nodded. "It's a little weird that she's so close to Addison, but I can learn to deal with that." Meredith took a bite of George's sandwich. "You don't mind if she stays at the house, do you?"

George shook his head. "No, just as long as she doesn't replace me."

Meredith smiled. "No one could replace you George."

* * *

**5:00 P.M.**

"Did you talk to Ellie today?"

Derek nodded. "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, Derek."

"She and I used to be so close. Especially right after…everything." Addison nodded. "Now, with Meredith, she can't stand me."

"She can't stand what happened. Derek, she's upset. Eliot has been through a lot, from her mother leaving when she was 3 to go raise a different child, to her father dying and her having to go live with Ellis and Meredith, and then when she finally found a family, because you, Mark, Ellie and I were a family, two of us broke her heart. And then you broke her sisters heart. Eliot is just trying to have a normal existence, and everyone is making it kind of hard for her."

Derek nodded. "I guess that's true." Derek sat down on the porch steps next to Addison and leaned his head on her shoulder. "Do you think she'll ever want to talk to me again?"

"She talks to me, doesn't she?" Derek nodded. "Just give her some time."

"How much time?"

"It's Ellie. She'll let you know how much time."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie sat down on the steps of the house and looked around her. She felt at home, yet so out of place.

"You alright?" Meredith asked, coming out of the front door, two water glasses in her hands.

"I haven't been here in such a long time…it feels weird, yet so right, you know?"

Meredith nodded. "I know what you mean. That's how I felt when I first moved back in." Meredith handed Ellie a glass of water and sat down next to her. "So, did Addison tell you how long you were going to be here?"

"About two months." Meredith smiled. "Am I okay to stay here that long?"

"Of course you are."

"George and Izzie don't mind?"

"Are you kidding? George thinks it's fabulous, and Izzie would rather you live here than me." Ellie laughed. "So, I have to ask, why don't you like Derek?"

Ellie groaned. "When Addison cheated on Derek with Mark, he and I got really close, because, well, I was dating Mark at the time, so we were both hurt pretty bad. We became really good friends, and then he up and left. So I was a little miffed, but he called and apologized, and we were fine for a while, until I realized that you two were together. I asked him if you knew about Addison, and he said no, and that I wasn't allowed to tell you. I was just so mad at him for not telling you from the beginning, because when they separated and he left, he told Addison not to wait for him to come back, because he was probably going to move on. I didn't want him moving on with you unless you knew about Addison, and he wouldn't tell you, he kept putting it off, and then Addison left, and, I should have warned him, but we'd just gotten in an argument, so I didn't, and then you found out like you did, and he blamed it on me for not warning him. I got upset, because I shouldn't have had to warn him, because you should have known."

Meredith put one hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Eliot, it is not your fault. Derek was an idiot."

"I just hate that you got hurt."

"You got hurt too. Why are you still friends with Addison anyway?"

Ellie turned to Meredith. "Because for awhile she was all I had."

**So, what do you think? Review please!**


	3. The Way Things Are

**Okay, so I'm really glad everyone likes this so much. Um, I don't know about all of you, but I'm pretty sure Sunday night's episode totally made me cry. The scene where Derek and Meredith were in the closet and she was sobbing…I don't really know why, but for some reason there were tears running down my face. Never has a television show made me cry…it just proves how good this show is. :)**

**Hope you like this chapter!**

**Chapter Title: "The Way Things Are" by Fiona Apple**

**Half Love**

**"The Way Things Are"**

_We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through. - Peter De Vries_

**January 27th, 2006**

**6:00 P.M.**

_Last time on Half Love:_

_Meredith put one hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Eliot, it is not your fault. Derek was an idiot."_

"_I just hate that you got hurt."_

"_You got hurt too. Why are you still friends with Addison anyway?"_

_Ellie turned to Meredith. "Because for awhile she was all I had."_

"What does that mean? I was here. I was always here."

"Mer, I moved to New York when I was 18. I was working for a catering company when Addison Montgomery came in looking for someone to cater her wedding. She was the first person, that wasn't my boss that I met. I didn't want to follow in Mom's footsteps. I wasn't going to be that person that cared more about her job than her family. Addison convinced me that surgery was in my blood. She helped me realize that I'm cut out for what I do." Ellie looked down. "I know Derek told you this…he and Addison have been married for 11 years, right?" Meredith nodded. "They're family. I've known Addison for 12 years. She's my family. You're my family too, but Addison was there. When Mom stopped paying for NYU and I had to work to pay my own tuition, Addison let me stay with them so that I didn't have to pay for a dorm. I lived with Addison and Derek for two years. Then the trust fund I didn't know my Dad had left me kicked in, but even after that, when I was up late studying during Med School, Addison was the one that showed up on my doorstep at two am with coffee and Chinese food so that I wouldn't fall asleep. She's more than just my resident advisor, or my attending. She's my best friend, Meredith. You don't give up on that."

"You sound like Derek."

"Look, you're my sister and I love you, but Derek made the right choice. How upset were you when Mom left your Dad?"

"Upset." Meredith sighed. "Really upset."

"Exactly. Derek and Addison are married. Addison made a mistake. There's no real explanation for what she did, except that she made a mistake. But she is still Derek's wife. And they still love each other."

"I know all that, Ellie." Meredith looked down. "I do. What I don't understand is why you and Derek are both so set on keeping her in your lives."

"She's family…"

"I know that. But my Dad is family, and Mom left him, and you and Michael were family but Mom left you…"

"Ellis Grey is not the person you should be modeling this situation after, Meredith. Ellis is screwed up in the head…worse than can be diagnosed."

"She has Alzheimer's. Of course she's screwed up in the head!"

"Meredith! That's not what I meant!" Ellie set the water glass down and stood up, pacing in front of Meredith. "Ellis is the kind of person that has always been a little whacked. She cheated on my Dad; she cheated on your Dad…"

"Addison cheated on Derek."

Ellie froze. "Oh my God. Are you twelve?" Ellie stormed past Meredith and in to the house. She came back outside with her jacket in hand. "I can't believe I'm still having this conversation with you. I need to go for a walk or something. You need to take a deep breath and process what you're saying."

"I don't need to process anything." Meredith said, standing up. "I know what I'm saying. Addison cheated on Derek. They shouldn't be together. He called her Satan for God's sake!"

"Meredith…" Ellie took a deep breath. "He chose her. He went back to his wife. Dear God, child, get over it!" Ellie stormed away from the house, throwing her coat on.

Meredith sat down on the steps and put her head in her hands. "I can't get over it." She whispered. "I can't."

* * *

**January 28th, 2006**

**1:30 P.M.**

_Ellie had just sat down on the couch, a drink in hand, when someone knocked lightly on the door. She muted the television, set her drink down and stood. She was hoping it was Mark, and he'd forgotten his key or something. He hadn't been around much lately._

"_Derek?" Her best friend's husband, and boyfriends best friend, stood in the doorway, drenched from the New York rain, a grim look on his face._

"_I didn't know where else to go." He whispered his voice shaky._

"_Come in." Ellie opened the door wider, and took his wet coat, hanging it on her practically empty-almost useless coat rack. "Let me get you something dry. I think Mark has some sweats here…"_

"_No." He snapped, startling her. "That's okay, Ellie. How about a towel?" She nodded and headed back to the linen closet in silence. After grabbing two beach towels, she turned up the heat and made her way back out to the front room._

"_Here." She said, handing him the beach towels._

"_Thanks."_

"_Do you want something to drink?" She asked. He shook his head and she sat down on the couch. "What happened?" Derek wrapped one beach towel around his waist and took his jeans off underneath it, laying them out on the linoleum of Ellie's kitchen. "Derek?"_

"_She's been cheating on me." He whispered, toweling dry his hair and shedding his soaking wet t-shirt. "Can I toss my clothes in your dryer?"_

"_Yeah. It's in the hall closet next to my bedroom." Derek gathered his t-shirt and jeans and headed down the hallway. Ellie was still trying to fathom what he had said. "Addison has been cheating on you?" Derek slammed the dryer shut and started it before coming back out in to the living room._

"_I walked in on her and…" Derek swallowed. "…this guy at the house. In our house…our bed. I couldn't even look at her. I had to leave."_

"_Did you know the guy?" Derek nodded. Ellie looked him up and down, noticing the goose bumps on his arms. "Are you sure you don't want clothes? I know Mark has some sweats here…"_

"_No." He snapped angrily. "I don't want any clothes." It was at that moment that Ellie knew._

"_Derek…the man that Addie was with…was it…was it Mark?" Derek looked down, and slowly nodded. "Oh god."_

"_I'm so sorry, Ellie."_

"_Why are you sorry?" She asked, fighting back tears. "It's not your fault." Ellie's tears broke, and she put her head in her hands. "Do you know how long?" Ellie was still shell shocked. She'd been with Mark 4 years…and Addison and Derek had been married for 11 years…together longer…she just couldn't understand why this had happened._

_Derek sat down next to Ellie and put his arm around her. "I didn't stay to ask." He sighed. "Long enough."_

_Ellie leaned in to Derek, trying not to vomit. "This can't be happening. She's my best friend. He's your best friend. She's your wife! I just can't believe…"_

"_Ellie, calm down. We can't do anything right now."_

_Ellie took a deep shaky breath and curled up against Derek, the man that was like her brother. "Will you stay here tonight?"_

_Derek hugged her to him. "Of course I will."_

Ellie woke with a start, almost slamming her head on the bottom of the upper bunk. Derek was kneeled next to her, and Meredith was standing at his side.

"We didn't mean to scare you." He said, touching her arm. "But Addison asked us to find you. She wants your help in a surgery."

Ellie cringed. "She asked specifically for me?" Meredith nodded. "Damn it." Ellie swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Will you tell her I'm on my way?" Meredith nodded and left the room. They were still fighting, and hadn't spoken since the night before. Not even on the car ride to the hospital that morning.

"What were you dreaming about?" Derek asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"The night we found out."

Derek squeezed her hand. "I dream about that too." He said, standing as she stood. "It's my one and only nightmare."

Ellie nodded. "Mine too."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Addison headed down the hall after her surgery, went straight for the outside door. She just needed some fresh air. Being around Ellie and Meredith when they were fighting was not fun. Especially when she was what they were fighting about.

"I've been waiting for you." A deep voice whispered in her ear as a cold arm slid around her waist.

Addison shuddered. "Look, asshole." She spun around and found herself face to face with her husband. "God damn it, Derek! Don't do that."

He grinned. "Sorry." Letting go of her waist, he cleared his throat. "Are you okay?"

"Sibling rivalry is death to all those around it." She hissed, leaning in to him.

"Let me guess. Eliot and Meredith are fighting about something ridiculous."

"They're fighting about me."

Derek smiled. "I was right. They are fighting about something ridiculous."

"Hey!" Addison whacked his arm and smiled.

"Sorry. Well, I was thinking about doing this anyway, but it's probably a really good idea now. How about we get Ellie away from Meredith and all their sibling rivalry and the three of us go out to dinner?"

Addison nodded. "That sounds like a great idea, honey. What time?"

"Well, I get off at 6 and Ellie gets off at 6:30…"

"I get off at 6:30 too."

"So, 7:30?"

"Yeah, sure." Addison breathed in deep. "Are we going out?"

"Well, there's no room in the trailer for three people and a dog, and Ellie is staying with Meredith."

"So…yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie flew out of the bathroom, her dress still unzipped, running directly in to George.

"Oh! I'm sorry, George. Hey, will you zip this for me?" He nodded and she spun so he could reach the zipper. "Thanks."

"Sure." George followed her in to Izzie's room, where she was now staying, due to the fact that she and Meredith were temporarily not speaking. "Where are you going?"

"Out to dinner with Derek and Addie." She said, sitting down on the edge of the bed to slip her shoes on.

"You're not going to stay here and try to fix things with Meredith?"

"No." Ellie said, standing as the doorbell rang. "Meredith doesn't understand that Addie is my best friend, and I've really only known Meredith two years longer than I've known Addie, even if she is my sister." Ellie walked out of the room and headed down the stairs, George on her heels. "She wants me to stop hanging around Addison, and I can't do that." Ellie opened the door and smiled.

"Eliot, you look fabulous." Derek said, grinning. Neither George nor Ellie could help but notice that Derek and Addison were holding hands.

"Thank you." She grabbed her coat from where it was hanging on the wall, and turned to George. "If Meredith wants to talk to me, tell her she can wait up or I'll talk to her in the morning. But George, she's the one being stubborn."

"She is not." He hissed, eyeing Derek and Addison out of the corner of his eye.

"She's asking me to choose between my sister and my best friend." Ellie said, her voice low. "I won't do that."

"Fine." George said, leaning against the door. "Have a good time." Ellie smiled and left with Derek and Addison, and though George was upset, he couldn't help but realize he was feeling the way he felt when he first met Meredith.

* * *

**7:30 P.M.**

"So, how goes temporary residency?"

"It has been a day and a half, Derek."

Derek shrugged. "So? How is it so far?"

"Better than New York."

"Really?" Addison asked, taking a sip of her wine. "Why?"

"Because here, in Seattle, though there is rain, there is no Mark."

"Still that bad, huh?" Addison asked.

Ellie groaned. "Ever since you left, he's found a way to blame everything on me. From every little mistake an intern makes, to the…" Ellie looked down. "…to the affair."

"He blames you for the affair?" Derek asked. "But, why?"

"I don't know." Ellie sighed. "Look, can we pick a different subject? I hate talking about this."

"Sure." Derek said, looking at Addison. Both women didn't discuss it, but he knew they'd have to hash it out at some point, especially if they were going to be as close as they were before. "Have you seen Ellis yet?" He asked, locking eyes with Ellie. Now he knew why Meredith's eyes had seemed so familiar when they'd first met. She and Ellie had the same eyes.

"No. I'll probably go in the morning." Ellie shrugged. "Maybe."

"Eliot, you need to go see your Mom." Addison said as the waiter brought their food.

"She's not going to remember me, Addie."

"She might."

Ellie sighed. "I doubt it."

"Hey, speaking of your Mom, Meredith is signing Ellis up for this program, but you need to do an Alzheimer's test." Derek said.

Ellie nodded. "She told me. Can you do it tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Derek smiled at Addison. "If you go see Ellis in the morning."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're a punk." Addison laughed. "Fine."

"Good." Derek smiled. "And I'm a punk? Remind me again…what is it that you called me, to your **interns**?"

Ellie smiled. "A genius, and the man of my best friend's dreams?"

"No…"

"My hero?"

"Eliot, what did you say?" Addison asked, taking a bite of her food.

"Uh…well, you both know about the McDreamy thing, right?" They nodded and Derek raised one eyebrow. "Well, Meredith told me that they called you that, and then when things ended the way they did, I was already kind of upset with you…"

"So you started calling me McDicky?"

Addison giggled and then gasped with dramatic effect. "Eliot! I'm surprised at you!"

Ellie laughed and Derek turned to Addison. "You are not helping."

"Bah humbug." Addison said, throwing a french fry at him. "It's not like that's going to stick."

"Cristina called me that this morning."

"To your face?" Ellie asked, trying not to laugh.

"No…under her breath as I was walking away…but still…"

"Derek, get over it. It's Cristina. What is she going to do, sarcasm you to death?" Derek and Ellie laughed as Addison made a face.

"This is what I missed." Ellie said once they'd all caught their breath. "The three of us together…it's like I was trying to tell Meredith…12 years is a long time to know someone."

"It's a hell of a long time." Addison said, smiling.

"You don't turn your back on twelve years." Ellie added, grinning at Derek.

Derek laughed. "Okay, group hug!" Ellie sobered and Addison raised her eyebrows. "You guys used to think that was funny."

"I was 18."

"And I was love-sick." Addison said, grinning.

"Nah, you were just sick." Ellie and Derek laughed, and Ellie's giggle turned in to a shriek as Addison threw a fry at her. What the threesome was unaware of was that Meredith, Izzie, Alex and George had just walked in, and it was finally sinking in with Meredith that, not only were Derek and Addison together, her sister was the third member of their family.

**Okay, so I know it kinda ended a little strange, but I got stuck. I think everyone was pretty much in character…let me know what you thought!**


	4. Get Together To Tear It Apart

**Okay, so I'm really glad everyone likes this SO much. In case you didn't notice, I changed the chapter titles to song titles because I think it's cool. So, yeah. Go back and check out the titles and cool quotes (not from the song) that I put at the beginning of the chapters. :)**

**Chapter Title: "Get Together To Tear It Apart" by The Hives**

**Half Love**

"**Get Together To Tear It Apart"**

_Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. – Elizabeth Foley_

**January 28th, 2006**

**8:00 P.M.**

"It's okay if she hates me. I can understand why."

"She's taking it to an extreme."

"So are you."

Ellie stared at Derek. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying, you didn't have to snap at her like that." Ellie sighed. "Am I right?"

Ellie grimaced. "I guess. Are you going to do that thing where you act like my superior and make me apologize?" Addison laughed.

"I only did that once. And you needed to."

"I called Mark a dickwad. Wouldn't you agree that's what he is?"

"Yes, but you called him that at the hospital. Not in your apartment. There's a difference." Derek said.

"Wait…where was I?" Ellie looked down. "El?"

"That was the day I told you I never wanted to talk to you again."

Addison nodded. "I left the hospital."

"And Mark and I got in a fight because there was 'no reason' for me to be upset with you. And then I called him a dickwad."

"And then when I yelled at her for getting angry at you and fighting with Mark, she said 'I can't believe you're standing up for that adulterous bitch. She's Satan!'."

"I didn't call her Satan, you did." Ellie said, leaning back in to the chair. "You said, 'she may be an adulterous bitch, she may be the female Satan, but she's still my wife and your friend.' The word 'Satan' never left my mouth."

Addison swallowed, her face pale. "I thought we were talking about Meredith. Not me."

Ellie looked over at her best friend, and the expression on her face went from angry to sympathetic. "God, Addie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay. Someday we're going to have to talk about it."

Ellie grimaced. "Sure. Someday." She shifted her focus to Derek, catching a glimpse of Meredith out of the corner of her eye. "I'm not going to apologize. She came over here and ripped me apart, and then ripped Addie apart. Not. My. Fault."

Derek nodded. "I wasn't going to make you apologize. But she is your sister."

"Yeah, well…she's also the two-faced moron that's trying to come between my best friend and her husband. That's not okay." Derek shook his head, but Addison couldn't help but smile a little. She needed someone on her side in Seattle, because sometimes it felt like even Derek was on Meredith's side.

"How about a new subject?" Addison said, sighing. "We had this dinner so that the three of us could get back to where we were, not to argue over two-faced morons and adulterous bitches."

Ellie smiled. "Savvy said hi."

"How is she?" Addison asked, grinning. Though Savvy and Weiss had come to visit, neither couple had made good on their promise to keep in touch.

"She's doing well. She and Weiss are making it through. When she came back, she told me she knew that she and Weiss would be able to make it because you and Derek were making it."

Addison laughed. "I don't think 'making it' is the right phrase. 'Trying' would be more correct." Addison looked over at Derek, who had a solemn look on his face, and was staring at nothing. "Derek? Are you okay?"

He sighed and looked back and forth between his wife and her best friend. "I just can't understand…you don't want to talk about Meredith, you don't want to talk about the affair; all you want to talk about is the small crap that is never going to fix the rift."

"What rift?" Ellie asked, looking Derek in the eye.

"The two of you used to act like you'd grown up together. You always made fun of each other, you fought about everything, but at the end of the day you were best friends. Ellie, how can you say we're family if you won't talk to us about the serious issues we have?"

Ellie sighed. "Because if we talk about the serious issues, something tells me it will end very badly."

* * *

**9:30 P.M.**

"I can't believe she said that!" George said, looking over his shoulder at Ellie, who was leaving the table she was sitting at with the Shepherds. "She's your sister."

"She's also Satan's best friend." Meredith said, watching Ellie walk in to the bathroom.

"Since when do you call her Satan?" Izzie asked, glancing over at the table. The Shepherds weren't speaking to each other, and McDreamy looked upset.

"Since she is. Since when do you care?"

Izzie looked down. "Meredith, we're going to be residents. We need to pick a field. Addison is my teacher."

"You picked neo-natal?" Alex asked, smiling. "Good choice, Dr. Model."

Izzie made a face and turned back to Meredith. "I'm your friend, but I have to at least be nice to her."

"Great, now you're siding with her too?"

"No. I never said that. I just can't call her Satan." Meredith leaned back in her chair. "I'm not siding with her."

"I know. It's just…I thought that if Ellie were to ever come back, she would side with me. She always sided with me on the phone."

"You were always talking about Derek." Ellie's voice startled all four interns, and she smiled when even Alex jumped. "Look, Mer, I'm sorry. I…I promised myself that I would forgive Addison. I'll never forget what happened, and one day it will probably be the thing that breaks our friendship, but I promised myself that I would forgive her. I can't back out on that promise, but I can say that I can understand why you hate her. I don't like it, but I get it." Meredith smiled. "And…Izzie, did I hear you say neo-natal?" Izzie nodded. "That's a fantastic choice. Addison is a great teacher. You seem like you would be cut out for neo-natal." Ellie shook her head in remembrance. "I most certainly wasn't."

"You were going to be a neo-natal specialist?"

Ellie nodded. "I considered it. But I couldn't do it. I want to have a child, not watch a child die. Addison is a lot stronger than I am."

"Or colder." Meredith muttered.

"Watch it." Ellie hissed before turning back to Izzie. "When I become an attending in three years, I'll be going in to neurosurgery."

"In three years?" George raised his eyebrows. "I thought residency was only three years."

"For a normal person, it is only three years. Neurosurgeons go through at least five years of residency. Most neurosurgeons have to do a year of fellowship, but I might be able to get out of it."

"How?" Alex asked.

"If I stay here and work with Derek…he's the best neurosurgeon in all of New York State, probably here in Washington too. Mostly because he did six years of residency and a year of fellowship, which is why Addison has been an attending for 8 years, and Derek has only been an attending for 5 years." Alex raised his eyebrows. "But he's just as good as she is, and vice versa." Ellie smiled. "There was an article written a few years ago that basically said if both you and your child needed a brain tumor removed, you would be safest in the hands of the two most renowned doctors in New York State: Derek and Addison Shepherd."

"They're that good?" George asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, and they know way more than just their specialties too." Ellie smiled at Alex. "You're thinking about plastic surgery, right?"

"Yeah."

"Addison could be your teacher." Alex raised one eyebrow. "She's that good."

* * *

**11:00 P.M.**

"I could teach Alex to be a plastic surgeon?" Addison turned around to face Ellie as they pulled up in front of Meredith's house.

"I was just trying to make a point. He won't ask you."

"Are you sure?"

Ellie smiled. "As cocky as he seems, he's too scared you'll ask him to take off his clothes so you can critique his fat or something." Addison laughed. "You should do it."

"No." Derek said, spinning around. "I don't want him getting any ideas."

"I just think she should ask him. See what he says."

Addison laughed. "See you tomorrow." Ellie grinned and got out of the car. Derek and Addison sat in their car, talking, as Ellie made her way up the front porch steps and searched through her purse for her key to the house.

"Good evening, Gorgeous." Ellie froze. She recognized the voice in a heartbeat. "Just come back from a hot date, I see."

"How did you find me?" She hissed, praying that either Derek would drive away or that they weren't paying enough attention to notice that she was talking to someone.

"You wrote down all your family contacts in my address book while we were still together, remember?" Ellie grimaced. "You know, I always thought that was an idiotic idea. Changed my mind."

"You need to go." She said, taking a deep breath. She could still hear Derek and Addison's car sitting in front of the house.

"Aw, come on. You and I had fun the last time we were together. Just a few weeks ago, right? You know, I was so sure you were going to call me so we could do it again. And then you left!"

"I didn't call you in the first place. You showed up and got me drunk."

"Ellie?" Addison's voice rang out over the silent Seattle night and Ellie cringed. "Is everything okay?"

"Well I'll be damned." The man stood. "Addie, is that you?" He stepped in to the light of the porch and Ellie slammed against the door as Addison's eyes popped.

"Jesus Christ."

**Okay, so there's the fourth installment. I know it's kind of short, but I needed to finish the dinner and move on. I hope you liked it. Review please!**

**Oh, and does anyone know when Derek and Addison's anniversary is? Or their birthdays? Would y'all care if I just make it up?**


	5. What Hurts The Most

**Okay, so since I'm getting such an awesome response, I decided to update sooner than originally planned. So, thanks for all of your reviews. I just wanted all of you to know; I'll probably respond to your review directly, whether with an email or a PM or by hitting the "reply to review" link. So, yeah. Don't feel neglected though if I don't, cause I sometimes forget things like that. :)**

**Chapter Title: "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts**

**Half Love**

"**What Hurts The Most"**

_You develop courage by acting courageously whenever you feel like acting otherwise. – Brian Tracy_

**January 28th, 2006**

**11:00 P.M.**

_Previously on Half Love:_

"_Ellie?" Addison's voice rang out over the silent Seattle night and Ellie cringed. "Is everything okay?"_

"_Well I'll be damned." The man stood. "Addie, is that you?" He stepped in to the light of the porch and Ellie slammed against the door as Addison's eyes popped._

"_Jesus Christ."_

"Actually, I prefer my birth name, Mark Sloan, but whatever works for you, sweetheart."

Addison very obviously cringed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see my girl." He said, reaching for Ellie. She was still pressed against the door, digging through her purse for her key. "Baby…"

"Don't call me Baby." She hissed, not even looking up.

"Don't touch her." Derek came flying around the side of the car, enraged. "Why are you here?"

Mark rolled his eyes. "I came to see my girl."

"I'm not your girl." Ellie said, much calmer now that she had finally found her key.

"I just want to talk to her." Mark said.

"I don't think so…" Derek snapped.

"Derek, go home." He raised his eyebrows as Ellie finally stepped in to the light of the porch. "I can handle this."

"Ellie…"Addison's voice cracked and Ellie sighed.

"Addie, it's okay. Just go home." Ellie looked at Derek. "Please."

Derek sighed. "Okay, but call if you need anything."

Ellie nodded. "I will." Ellie and Mark stood on the porch and watched Derek get back in the car and drive away. "Come on." Ellie unlocked the front door. "Let's get this conversation over with."

* * *

**January 29th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Meredith walked in to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch arm. Ellie had been talking to some guy when Meredith, Izzie, and George had arrived at home the night before, and she had never come upstairs.

"Ellie?" Ellie groaned her head underneath a green blanket. "El, we're going to leave in about 20 minutes. Do you want me to leave my car for you or is 20 minutes enough time?"

"I'm not going to work."

"You've only been here three days Ellie. You can't already be skipping work."

"I'm not skipping." Ellie threw the blanket off of her head. "Do I look fit to go to work to you?" Meredith shook her head, her eyes wide. Ellie sighed. "Leave your car. Tell Dr. Webber I'll be in late, but I'll be there. Tell him I'm not feeling well." Meredith nodded, placed her keys on the coffee table, and stood. "And, Mer?" Meredith looked at Ellie. "Don't tell Addison."

* * *

**10:30A.M.**

Meredith looked at her watch. It was almost eleven. Ellie still wasn't at the hospital, and Meredith had spent most of the morning avoiding both Addison and Derek…more so than normal.

"Hey, Meredith?" Izzie walked up behind her and led her in to an empty room. "Addison keeps asking where Ellie is. What am I supposed to say?"

Meredith sighed. "Tell her she's probably in the hospital somewhere. Tell her you don't know."

"Why can't I tell her Ellie is at home?"

"She asked me not to tell Addison. Don't ask why. I don't know why."

Izzie nodded. "Okay." The two interns left the room, only to run directly in to Addison.

"Where is she?" Addison asked a demanding tone in her voice. As Izzie began to stumble through a bogus answer, Meredith looked down the hall.

"Who is that?" Meredith asked Addison as the dark-haired man from the night before came racing down the hall after Derek.

"Mark Sloan." Addison mumbled as the two men approached. Meredith had never seen Addison seem so nervous.

"Wait…Mark? As in…?" Addison nodded.

"He wants to know where Ellie is." Derek said once he finally reached Addison's side.

"As if you don't know." Meredith snapped, ready to lose it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mark asked, staring at Meredith. "Who are you anyway?"

"She's Ellie's sister." Addison said. "What does that mean?"

"He's the last person that saw her last night. I didn't see her until this morning, and when I went to bed, you were still downstairs talking to her."

"When I left, she was fine."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're right, she was fine. Ellie did always have that special talent of being able to beat herself up." Derek's eyes popped, Mark panicked, and Meredith cringed. "Oops." She whispered. "You probably didn't want them to know that, did you?"

"You hit her?" Derek asked, taking deep breaths. Mark didn't respond, but took off running down the hall. Derek chased after him, both men skidding past nurses and jumping medical supplies. Mark pushed a gurney out in front of Derek, and Derek vaulted it, landing on his feet and continuing the chase around the corner.

"Derek!" Addison sighed. "He's going to get in to so much trouble." Addison leaned against the wall. "Is she okay?" Meredith opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Cristina coming down the hall.

"Your patient is flat-lining. Burke's in there but…" Meredith nodded and went racing after Cristina.

"Meredith!" Addison's voice rang out from down the hall and Meredith began running down the hall backwards.

"She's at home!" She yelled, almost running in to a nurse. "She wont let you in though…there's a key under the mat!" Meredith disappeared in to the room her patient was in as George joined Izzie and Addison.

"Since when is there a key under the mat?" Izzie asked. George smiled.

"Since she made me put one there this morning."

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Ellie heard the front door open and shut as she pulled her jeans on. Meredith must have come back to check on her. It was 11:00.

"Hold on!" Ellie yelled, tossing her hair in a bun on top of her head and pulling a sweater on. The late January weather was killing her here in Seattle. It didn't rain this much in New York. Ellie made one final check in the mirror and cringed. The bruise underneath her eye was too obvious; she'd have to make up a story. As Ellie made her way down the stairs, she heard a cell phone ring and froze when person it belonged to spoke.

"Hello?" _That's not Meredith._ Ellie sat down on the stairs hard. "He did what? Jeez…no, just leave them." The voice laughed and Ellie groaned. _Definitely not Meredith._ "Let Derek beat him up, I don't care." _Oh God._ "Okay…just put them in separate rooms. God, the vision of Derek vaulting that gurney will stay imprinted in my brain forever. Priceless." Addison laughed again and Ellie stood. She had to walk in there. "Thanks Izzie." Ellie walked in to the kitchen and took a deep breath as Addison hung up her phone. "Hi…oh god. Does that hurt?" Addison reached for Ellie's face and Ellie backed away.

"Not if you don't touch it." She snapped. "Did Derek chase Mark through the hospital?"

"Yeah. Serves the bastard right. I can't believe he hit you."

"It's not the first time." Ellie said, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"What?" Addison walked towards Ellie. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. You were too busy sleeping with him to believe me." Ellie pushed past Addison to the fridge to get milk, leaving Addison stunned.

"What?"

"Do you remember the day I showed up to work with the Aviator sunglasses on?" Addison nodded. "He'd hit me the night before. I'd called and he'd been in the middle of something, you, I later found out, and he showed up at my apartment. When I told you, you thought I was kidding and I had run in to something. Two months later, Derek and I found out, and I realized that you were too busy screwing him to care." Addison leaned against the counter. "Are you going to deny it?"

"Ellie, you said it like you were joking."

"Why in the hell would I joke about something like that? You've seen me when girls come in so battered they need surgery. You had to take me off a case because I got so upset. What makes you think I'm ridiculous enough to joke about something like that?"

"I…Ellie…"

Ellie shook her head. "Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." Addison sighed. "He hit you because you called?"

"He hit me because I called, interrupted whatever the hell he was doing, and because I accused him of cheating. I could hear a woman's voice in the background. He swore it was just the television. Except he lied."

Addison took a deep breath. "What happened this time?"

Ellie poured the rest of her coffee in to a to-go mug and then filled it to the top. "Nothing. He lost it."

"You didn't provoke it?" Ellie turned around and gave Addison an 'excuse me?' look. "I just meant…you guys weren't fighting?"

"Oh no, we were fighting." Ellie capped her to-go cup and slipped on the boots she had brought downstairs with her. "We started by trying to figure out why he cheated. That didn't even pan out, because at some point he tried to blow it off as you seducing him and then it getting out of control. And I refused to believe that." Ellie looked at Addison. "I've spent the last year trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, because you're my best friend. So when I told him I thought he was lying, he exploded. Said I was ungrateful, and that it was ridiculous that I would forgive you and not him."

"So you were defending me?"

"I was defending you, and our relationship, and then I defended Derek, and myself, and my relationship with him…it got out of hand. I remember saying something along the lines of 'I choose to defend Addison and Derek because they're my friends. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not ready to give you the benefit of the doubt,' and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor and Mark was gone."

Addison smiled. "You're amazing. I could never ask for a better friend. The fact that you defend Derek and I just because you love us…"

"Yeah, well, get over it." Ellie snapped, throwing her jacket on and grabbing Meredith's keys off of the coffee table. "I'm done. My sister hates me, and I'm getting beat up by my ex-boyfriend…I'm done." Ellie headed towards the door and opened it. "Defend yourself from now on." She said without turning around. "And lock up when you leave." Ellie flew out the front door, leaving Addison shell shocked and sitting in the kitchen.

**Well…that's it for "What Hurts The Most". I hope you liked it. And Lindy…I know you liked it. :)**

**Review please!**


	6. How Good It Can Be

**Okay so I was hoping for more feedback on "What Hurts The Most" before I posted another chapter but I finished this chapter and those of you that did review that chapter seemed to like it, so here goes nothing…I hope y'all like this chapter too.**

**You should know though, you're going to see a side of Richard Webber and both Dr. Shepherds that you don't see on the show. They're as in character as they can be, but don't get mad at me, 'kay? Cause I try.**

**Chapter Title: "How Good It Can Be" by The 88**

**Half Love **

**"How Good It Can Be"**

_Leave it up to me  
It's a known disease  
Keep it in your fleece  
Don't worry about the custom police, don't  
I'll tell you just how good it can be – "How Good It Can Be"  
by The 88_

**January 29th, 2006**

**11:30 A.M.**

Addison walked in to the hospital, still upset. She had followed Ellie almost immediately, but she had lost sight of Meredith's car halfway to the hospital. Addison passed Mark sitting by the front desk and headed for the on-call room. Meredith was standing outside, leaning against the wall.

"How's Ellie?" Meredith asked, standing up straight as Addison approached.

"Mad at me, which should make you pretty happy." Meredith stared, unsure of what to say. "Is Derek in there?" Meredith nodded. "Thanks. You don't have to stand out here anymore."

"Okay." Meredith sighed. "Look, Dr. Shepherd, I…"

"Don't worry about it, Grey." Meredith nodded and walked away as Addison went in to the on-call room. Derek was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, and didn't even look up when the door opened. "Hey."

"Hey." He said, barely glancing at Addison. He looked down again, and then jerked his head back towards his wife. "Addie…?" Derek flew to her side as she burst in to tears. "Hey, hey…sit, sit…" He led Addison to the bed and sat down next to her, rubbing small circles on her back. "What happened?" Addison took deep shaky breaths and leaned in to Derek, wrapping her arms around him. Derek realized that it had been a long time since Addison had broken down. "Honey…"

Addison tightened her grip on Derek. "I'm horrible."

"Oh, Addie."

She took a deep, shaky breath. "I was lonely, Derek. I felt like we weren't really married anymore. You were always at work, or out of town, and so was I…somehow Mark was always there when I needed someone to talk to." She looked up at him. "He made me feel like I had my best friend back. It's not your fault, I would never blame you, but I was just so lonely."

"Addie, why didn't you say something?"

"I tried, Derek. We were both so busy…" Addison took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know." Derek said, hugging her to him. "I know, baby. There's something else, though, isn't there?"

Addison nodded. "I didn't pay attention. Last night wasn't the first time Mark hit Ellie...he hit her once last year, and I didn't believe her." Addison leaned against the wall and brought her knees up to her chest. Derek just watched her. "She's so mad at me. She's been defending me to Mark, to Meredith; to herself…but she's the only one on my side…"

Derek slid next to Addison and took her hand. "Addison, I'm on your side."

She nodded, too upset to fight him. "I know, but Ellie's been giving me the benefit of the doubt, and all its done for her is make things worse."

"Addison…did she say that?"

"She said, 'I'm done. My sister hates me, and I'm getting beat up by my ex-boyfriend…defend yourself from now on'."

"She's upset, Addie. You know Ellie…sometimes she's irrational when she's upset." Addison didn't respond except to put her head on Derek's shoulder and curl her body in to his. Derek wrapped his arms around her and held his wife close. It felt amazing to hold her. "Addie…" She looked up at him, tears still in her eyes. "I love you."

Addison smiled. "I love you too."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

Ellie made her way to the bathroom, her lab coat pulled tightly around her. She'd been at the hospital just over two hours, and still had yet to come up with a believable story for her eye. George had told a patient that they shared that he had accidentally hit her during sex, and as much as Ellie had wanted to kill him, it was better than anything she had been able to come up with.

"Hey." Addison came out of the bathroom as Ellie reached the door.

"Hi."

"How's your eye?"

Ellie reached up and tenderly touched her face. "Fine."

"What have you been telling people?"

Ellie laughed. "George told one of our patients that he accidentally hit me during sex, but everyone else has dropped it at my 'it's a long story' excuse."

Addison grinned. "George said that?" Ellie nodded. "Way to go O'Malley…" Ellie rolled her eyes. "So, uh…Mark's still here."

"I know."

"He told Derek he wouldn't leave until he got another chance to talk to you."

"Well, I guess he'll be here a while then."

"Ellie…"

"Look, Addison, I have to pee and then get back to a patient, so could you just…" Addison nodded and moved out of the doorway. Ellie walked in to the bathroom without another look towards Addison.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith came walking down the hallway as Addison leaned against the wall outside the bathroom. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Dr. Grey."

"Ellie's birthday is coming up…"

Addison nodded. "February 13th. The same day as mine."

Meredith's eyes widened. "Really? Hey, that's, uh…"

Addison laughed. "You don't have to pretend it's cool or anything. What about it?"

"Well…I don't really know what to do for her…and I figured you would know…unless you already have something planned."

Addison smiled. "We do the same thing every year. We exchange gifts from the first to the thirteenth, and then we go somewhere for a few days. This year, it'll be about three days, if it happens."

Meredith raised one eyebrow. "If?"

"She's not very happy with me right now." Addison shrugged. "Anyway, if you need my help with something, let me know."

"Okay." Meredith managed a smile and the women separated, both a little astonished that they might work together on something outside the hospital.

**

* * *

**

**February 1st, 2006**

**6:30 A.M.**

Ellie woke up to Izzie's alarm blaring in her ear. Two days after waking up with a black eye, Ellie was finally starting to look normal and although she was still staying in Izzie's room, Ellie and Meredith had finally started talking again. Ellie glanced at the clock and groaned. 6:30. Damn her for not getting Addisons "Day One" present done the day before.

* * *

Addison came out of the trailer bathroom only to find Derek sitting on the couch, half asleep, the dog's head on his lap. 

"Derek?" He opened one eye and grinned. "What are you doing up? Your shift doesn't start until 8:30."

"I know." He held a white folded piece of paper out to her. "I was instructed to give this to you."

Addison cocked one eyebrow and opened it. "30 plus 38 equals 68?" Derek shrugged. "Is this from Ellie?" He shrugged again and closed his eyes, missing the grin on Addisons face.

"Why are you going to the hospital this early again?"

"It's Day One." Addison said, folding the piece of paper and sticking it in her pocket.

"Right. Day One." He muttered, his eyes still closed.

"Day One of the Thirteen Day Birthday Celebration…"

"I know what Day One is, Addie." He leaned his head back. "What did you get her?"

"You wouldn't understand it."

Derek scoffed. "I never understand it."

* * *

**7:00 A.M.**

Ellie walked in to the hospital, an envelope in hand, and headed straight for Dr. Webber's office. She paused at the front desk, wanting to make sure everything was set. There were four pieces of paper and an envelope: Derek, Izzie, George, Burke and Dr. Webber were all a part of Day One, Ellie just still had to get the envelope to Dr. Webber. As she walked towards the elevator, she noticed Mark still sitting by the front desk.

"Mark…" He looked up and smiled. "Go home."

"I'm not going back to New York…"

"Well, at least go back to the hotel or do something useful. Sitting around isn't helping your case at all." Ellie walked away, heading for the elevator, and Mark, for the first time in two days, stood and walked out of the hospital.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Addison stood in the on-call room, looking over the four pieces of paper she had received since 6:30 that morning.

_30 plus 38 equals 68._

_6 plus 8 equals 14._

_1 plus 4 equals 5._

_5 divided by 2 equals 2.5._

All of a sudden Addison wasn't so worried about their annual birthday get away not happening.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Cristina knocked lightly on the door and opened it just a crack.

"What do you need, Dr. Yang?"

"Dr. Webber wants to see you."

"Thanks." Addison folded the pieces of paper and put them in her pocket before walking out of the on-call room and to the elevator. When it opened, Ellie and Izzie were standing inside, talking.

"Hey." Ellie said, leaning against the wall. "Have a good day?"

Addison shrugged. "Eh…it was alright. How was yours?"

"Meh…same as usual." Izzie stared back and forth between the two.

"You guys are so strange."

Addison looked at Izzie innocently. "Why, whatever do you mean?"

"This whole Day One. You make a big deal out of it to everyone you tell, and then ignore the subject on the day of. And the numbers…what the hell does"6 plus 8 equals 14"mean?"

Ellie laughed as the elevator stopped. "Izzie, don't over think it. We get weirder as the days go on."

Addison nodded as she and Ellie got off the elevator. "You should see us on Day Thirteen." Izzie rolled her eyes as the elevator doors shut, and neither Ellie nor Addison spoke as they walked together down the hall to Webbers office.

"Oh good, you came together." Richard smiled as Ellie followed Addison in to his office. "Have a seat." He sighed and leaned back in his chair as Ellie shut the door and sat down next to Addison. "You know, I can still remember the first time I experienced Day One. It was eight years ago, and Addison was in town working with Ellis Grey for 3 months before her residency finished." Addison grinned. "I feel it's only right that I'm involved in this Day One since eight years ago Addie was turning 30, and now Ellie is turning 30."

Addison laughed. "You make it sound like a national holiday."

He shrugged. "Addison only had about two weeks left when I got a call from someone I'd only met once, 3 years before, at Addie and Derek's wedding." Ellie smiled. "The girl was frantic, because she had to get Addison a Day One gift, which according to tradition had to be given to her at the hospital, and she tried to explain it, but eventually I just told her to send it. I delivered it on February 1st." Richard laughed. "I still remember what it was."

Ellie grinned. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Action Figures."

"Which I still have." Addison added, laughing.

"I never understood that." Richard said, looking back and forth between the two women.

Ellie laughed. "No one ever does."

Richard nodded. "Well, here…" Richard handed Addison a white envelope and then lifted a large wrapped box off of the floor and handed it to Ellie.

"Are you kidding me?" Addison asked, trying to maintain a serious expression. "I give you that and all I get it this?" She asked, waving around the envelope.

"Don't bitch about it until you open it." Ellie snapped. "Age before beauty." She said, gesturing to the envelope and Addison.

"Whore." Addison snipped, glaring. Richard was a little unsure of what to think until Ellie cleared her throat and spoke again.

"I'm rubber and you're glue…everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

Addison cocked one eyebrow and giggled before opening the envelope. "Ellie…" The slip of paper she was holding said, _Two and a half (roughly) days at Bonneville Spa in North Bonneville from the night of the 25th to the morning of the 28th. The hospital and your husband okayed it, and it's paid for. Don't even try._

"You paid for the whole trip when I turned 28; now that you're turning 38, I figured it was only fair."

"Ellie, I can't let you…"

"Hey. What does it say?" Addison looked at the slip of paper. "Don't even try. I'm not as broke as I used to be, Addie."

Addison smiled. "Okay. Open yours."

Ellie grinned and ripped the wrapping paper off the box. She used Richards's letter opener to open the box, and was greeted by a large amount of packing peanuts. "Do you enjoy making this difficult for me?" Addison nodded and Ellie glared, shoving packing peanuts on to the floor. "No way!" Ellie pulled out two Nerf Footballs and two Nerf Flying Balls. "You're my hero!" Ellie jumped up and pulled Addison in to a hug.

"There's more." Ellie raised one eyebrow and leaned against Richards's desk. "We're both done with our shifts, right?" Ellie nodded. "You wanna play football with Derek?"

Ellie grinned. "With Derek or with Derek's head?"

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "What do you think?"

Ellie grinned, handed one football and one flying ball to Addison and bent down to pick up the packing peanuts.

"Leave them." Richard said. Ellie looked over at him, confused. "The janitorial staff will get it. Go." Ellie smiled and jumped up, leading Addison out of Richards's office. "Just be careful!" As the two women flew down the hall, Richard realized that the redheaded woman that had just been in his office was the Addison that he knew all those years ago, and he liked her.

* * *

Meredith was standing behind the front desk, filling out paperwork, when Ellie and Addison walked up next to her and leaned on the counter. 

"Hi."

Meredith glanced at Ellie. "Hi."

"How ya doin'?"

"Good."

"Really?" Meredith nodded. "You don't seem good. Are you sure?" Meredith turned to her sister and glared. "It was just a question, there is no need to rip my head off." Meredith sighed. "Just pretend we're not here."

"Okay." Meredith went back to her paperwork while Ellie and Addison whispered back and forth. Derek was standing roughly twenty feet from the front desk, talking to Burke, and Meredith didn't even know anything was going on until she saw Addison chuck a Nerf Flying Ball at the back of Derek's head. "Uh…"

"Shhh!" Ellie hissed as Addison hit the floor and Ellie went down with her.

"Hey!" Derek picked up the Nerf ball and headed for the front desk. Smiling at Meredith, he tossed the ball over the side of the desk and went back to Burke. He didn't really care that he's just been hit in the back of the head by either his wife or her best friend, or that they tried to play it off like Meredith had hit him, all he knew was that Ellie was bringing back the Addison he had married, and to Derek, that was all that mattered.

**Okay, so there you have it. Feedback is always appreciated, and if you have any questions about anything, ask and I will answer! – Mel**


	7. Let Me Entertain You

**Hey, so I've been getting way awesome feedback about the last chapter, so I figured I'd post "Day Two". Man, this Thirteen Day thing is a little hard, trying to come up with ridiculous things for Addison and Eliot to do. Bah phooey…if you have any ideas, please, please, let me know!**

**Chapter Title: "Let Me Entertain You" by Queen**

**Half Love**

"**Let Me Entertain You"**

_Just take a look at the menu  
__We give you rock a la carte  
__We'll breakfast at Tiffany's  
__We'll sing to you in Japanese  
__We're only here to entertain you  
_– "_Let Me Entertain You"  
__By Queen_

**February 2nd, 2006**

**6:45 A.M.**

"Addison?" Derek poked his head in the bathroom door and saw the shadow of his wife in the shower. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." She said, bluntly. "I'm fine Derek. I must have eaten something bad last night."

He shrugged. "I guess." He sat down on the toilet and sighed. "Is today your 24-hour shift?"

"Yeah." Addison sighed. "Derek, I'm trying to take a shower. Can you just go?"

He laughed and stood. "Or…I could join you." Pulling the curtain back, Derek's breath hitched. "You…what the hell are you doing here?"

Mark grinned. "She just couldn't get enough of me, I guess."

"Derek…I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" He hissed, averting his eyes. "You can't just always be sorry, Addison."

"Derek?" Meredith came in to the bathroom, clothed in only his shirt. "What's taking you so long?"

"Oh!" Addison glared. "You're going to get mad at me for being with Mark when you're with Grey?"

"I'm not…I don't know how she got here!" He stated, looking back and forth between his wife and his girlfriend…ex-girlfriend.

"Oh, whatever, Derek. Look, there's something you should know…the reason I was so sick…I'm pregnant, Derek." Addison grinned. "With Mark's child."

"No…"

>>>>

Derek bolted up in bed, his lips still mouthing 'No'. He shed his sweat soaked white t-shirt and climbed out of bed, heading for the kitchen. He could hear the shower running and his breath hitched. Damn his dreams. He sat down on the couch and breathed in deep. He had to get over it. Part of him still loved Meredith, he was sure part of him always would, but he still loved Addison, and choosing her was the right thing to do. He hoped.

"No. It is." He whispered, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I love Addison. I married her. For better or worse." He set the cup of coffee down and went in to the tiny bathroom. "Addie?"

"Yeah?" She poked her head around the curtain and smiled. "What?"

"I need to ask you something."

She took her head back in to the shower and dipped her head under the water. "Okay…"

Derek sat down on the toilet, deja vu-ing for a moment, and took a deep breath. "I need you to tell me…did you fall in love with Mark?"

Addison's head whipped around the shower curtain. "What?"

"Answer the question."

She sighed. "I fell in love with the idea of Mark. Someone that wasn't complicated, that was simple, and just wanted to be around me. Mark laid everything out on the table…and he wanted me to do that too. I liked that…but I didn't fall in love with him." Derek looked at the floor. "Why?"

"I just…I had this dream…"

"Derek?" He looked up, noticing the pain in her eyes right away. "I thought you were done with Meredith."

"Uh…I am."

"I know you said you fell in love with her, and that, that doesn't go away just because I came here, but…I thought you were moving on." Addison grabbed the nearest towel and shut off the shower before stepping out on to the bathroom floor.

"I'm trying, Addie. But Mark showing up brings back horrible memories…nightmares that I had for weeks after Ellie and I found out…only now Meredith is in them."

"What do you mean?"

"I had this dream that you were with Mark again, and we got in a fight, and then Meredith showed up, barely clothed, and the fight got worse, and you were pregnant…" Derek put his head in his hands. "I don't…I can't…I don't even want to think about you and Mark, and I'm trying not to think about Meredith and I…it's hard. So hard…"

"Derek…first of all, I would never be with Mark again. Ever. Second, we fight all the time. It's just what we do. Third, Meredith…is Meredith. There's nothing we can do about the past, and fourth…if I were to get pregnant, it would be with your child, not Marks." Addison sighed. "I know it's hard. We're trying to fix something that has been broken a long time, and it's hard not to just jump ship, but we're trying." Addison lifted his chin with two of her fingers. "I still love you, and I will always love you. If you don't want me…"

"No. I want you. I do…I…I'm sorry I even brought this up."

Addison shook her head. "We need to talk about this kind of stuff." She leaned against the wall and grinned. "What time does your shift start?"

"8:00. Why?"

Addison shed the towel and turned on the shower. "What do you say we try before we go to work?"

Derek grinned. "It's your Thirteen Day Celebration." Addison grinned and stepped in to the shower as Derek shed his boxers. Needless to say, they were late.

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

"Ellie?" Ellie groaned from the bathroom floor of the surgical ward. She's spent the last twenty minutes throwing up everything she had eaten in the last two days, which wasn't a lot, considering it was getting continuously harder for her to keep things down. "El?" Addison came in to the bathroom, having just arrived at the hospital. "Are you in here?"

"Addie?" Ellie managed to say, her voice barely audible.

"Yeah…are you okay?" Ellie groaned in response. "I'm guessing no."

"I feel like shit."

"Oh, well, good." Addison laughed. "No reason to hide it."

"Addison, I'm not in the mood for your idiotic sense of humor."

"Are you trying to get out of today?"

Ellie flung open the stall door and poked her head out. "Yes. That is exactly what I'm trying to do."

Addison cringed. "You're really sick." Ellie nodded. "I'm sorry, El, I…you're never sick."

"I know." Ellie's head slammed against the stall and she groaned. "Okay, that did not help."

Addison crouched down next to her and put her hand up against her forehead. "Do you want me to find someone to cover for you?"

Ellie shook her head. "I'll be okay. Just give me like twenty minutes." Addison nodded. "And, will you give my interns their rounds?"

"Sure. I'll come check on you in a bit, okay?" Ellie nodded and managed a smile as Addison walked out of the bathroom. It wasn't long before Ellie was throwing up again, only this time; there was nothing left to throw up.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie stood at the front desk, fending off weird stares from people, when George came down the hall. He couldn't help but laugh at the way she looked, wearing clown shoes and a red nose, but then again, she didn't look any worse than Addison.

"Hey." He said, sliding up next to her. "Dr. Shepherd said you weren't feeling well."

"I'm okay." Ellie smiled. "You're trying not to laugh, aren't you?"

George nodded. "I'm sorry, you just look so…"

"Ridiculous?" He nodded. "Have you seen Addison?"

George burst in to laughter. "Yes. Oh my gosh…when Dr. Shepherd, uh…Derek…saw her, he almost died." Ellie grinned. "What's the point of this again?"

"To see who can make whom look the most ridiculous. We can actually do way better than this, but y'all don't know us very well."

"Is there a prize?" Ellie shook her head. "Well, how do you know who won?"

Ellie's eyes widened. "I thought you said you had seen Addison!"

"Oh." George smiled. "You won."

"Yeah, I did."

"Eliot!" Ellie turned to see Addison coming down the hall, Cristina and Izzie at her side, both interns trying not to burst in to laughter. Even Addison was trying to keep her composure. "Are you feeling better?"

Ellie grinned. "Are you kidding? I'm dying. You look hilarious!"

Addison adjusted the blinking red nose she was wearing and looked down at the flashing tennis shoes Ellie had given her. "How you came up with this, I'll never know." Izzie and Cristina finally burst in to laughter, and collapsed in to the nearest chairs. "Are you really feeling better?"

"Yeah. I have no idea what that was…but I'm good now."

Addison smiled. "Good." Ellie couldn't help but start laughing again as she stared at Addison's blinking nose. "I'm taking this off…for the time being."

"That's probably a good idea." George said, smiling. Addison nodded and dropped the nose in to her lab coat. Ellie reached in to the pocket of hers and pulled out a small wrapped gift.

"Here." She said, taking off her own red nose and handing the package to Addison. "Happy Day Two."

Addison smiled and handed Ellie a similar sized gift. "Happy Day Two." George watched as both women ripped through the wrapping paper.

"Jeez." He said, grinning as both women held up blue Tiffany & CO boxes. "Boy, do you two know each other, or what?"

Ellie laughed. "If you think this is bad, you should see Addie and Derek on Valentines Day. Half the time, they buy each other the same card."

George laughed. "Are you two going to open those or just hold them." Both women lifted the lid of the box, and simultaneously let out an excited gasp.

"Oh, Addie…this is gorgeous." Out of the box Ellie produced a small white gold Dragonfly bracelet, while Addison pulled out a white gold Rainbow Drops Pendant necklace with an aquamarine stone on it.

"Ellie, this is fantastic."

"Holy shit." Izzie joined the group. "Those are gorgeous." Both women nodded, mouthed thank you to one another and slipped the jewelry back in the box. There were still patients to attend to.

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

George and Izzie stumbled up the stairs to their front door, tired and exhausted. Though the days at work were beginning to be more fun now that Ellie and Addison were around, it was still Hell, and it still made them tired as ever. Meredith, unfortunately, had drawn the 24-hour shift that day, and was still at the hospital. As George fumbled with the key, the porch lights turned on and the door opened.

"Long day?" Ellie asked, grinning.

"How…do you work at all?" Izzie asked, pushing past George and in to the house.

"Hey!" Ellie followed Izzie in to the living room, leaving George to shut and lock the door himself. "I work, I just don't happen to have a 24-hour shift until tomorrow. I got lucky with my first few shifts…that's all." Ellie sat down on the floor, where she had obviously been sitting when George and Izzie arrived, surrounded by photo albums.

"What is all that?" George asked, collapsing on the couch next to Izzie.

"These are pictures from years ago…every Thirteen Days, every Christmas, birthday, and holiday; you name it, I've got a picture of it."

Izzie grinned. "Pictures of the Shepherds?"

"Are you kidding? Who else?" Izzie and George both joined Ellie on the floor as she opened the nearest photo album. "This is the first Thanksgiving I spent with them. I was 18…" Ellie smiled at the memory. "Derek showed up at my dorm dressed up like a freakin' pilgrim the morning of Thanksgiving. I wasn't going to go anywhere, and Addie wouldn't have that, but I didn't want to intrude. So, she sent Derek…this is New Years. Times Square; they go every year. I went that year, but I haven't gone since. New Years is their thing. They met on New Years, their first year of college…the very first Day One. We didn't dress up weird or anything, but Addie showed up in one of my classes with a bunch of old records she had located, and later I took a bunch of jump ropes and bouncy balls and stuff to her at the hospital." Izzie raised her eyebrows. "It's hard to explain." Izzie nodded. "So, uh…oh, this is their wedding. God, I forgot how beautiful her dress was."

"Why is Dr. Webber walking her down the aisle?" George asked, pointing to the picture.

"Oh…well, Addison's father died when she was 6, and she grew up knowing the Webbers, so…he was like a father to her."

"Really?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." She looked down at the pictures. "Addison lived here in Seattle until she was 16, when her Mom died and she moved to New York." Ellie flipped through the photo album. "Oh! Man, this was hilarious. Derek painted his face like the Easter Bunny for Easter that year…" Ellie pointed at the picture. "And that was the first year Addison wore the salmon colored scrubs."

Izzie cringed. "I hate those."

"Oh please." Ellie laughed. "Everybody hates those."

"So, what are these for?"

"Well…their wedding anniversary is March 1st, so I'm putting something together for them, and I'm also putting something together for Addison for Day Thirteen." Ellie set the photo album down. "That reminds me…I need to call Derek…" She stood and then turned to face Izzie and George. "Feel free to look through the pictures. It will change your image of Addison and Derek forever." Ellie grinned. "In a good way, of course."

* * *

"Hello?" 

"Derek? It's Ellie."

"Hi."

"Is Addison around?"

"No…"

"Good. So, I got a call from the people renting my Dads house from me today."

"Yeah?"

"They're moving out on the 20th."

"Really? So I could…"

"Absolutely. I can have my lawyer draw the papers up in the next few days."

"Ellie this is fantastic."

"Hey, I know how much she hates that freaking trailer just as much as you do…I've heard all about it."

"I'm sure you have." Derek smiled as Addison got out of her car and headed towards where he was sitting on the front porch. "I have to go, El. Let me know when everything is ready."

"Will do. See you tomorrow."

"Yep." Derek hung up the phone and smiled at Addison. "Hi."

"Hi." She sat down next to him on the porch. "So, uh…what was that about?"

He smiled. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

**Well, I hope y'all liked this one. Reviews are much loved and appreciated! - Mel**


	8. It's My Life

**Okay. Sorry this took me so long. I've been very very busy.**

**I just thought you all should know that I hate the way Derek treated Addison at the end of As We Know It. HATE. HATE. I was so mad.**

**Chapter Title: "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi.**

**Half Love**

"**It's My Life"**

_It's my life  
__It's now or never  
__But I ain't going to live forever  
__I just want to live while I'm alive  
__It's my life  
__-"It's My Life"  
__By Bon Jovi_

**February 3rd, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

"What's your favorite thing about Derek?"

Ellie laughed. "Are we playing twenty questions?"

George nodded. "Yes. Answer the question."

Ellie sighed. "Did you ever watch _Friends_?"

George shrugged. "No."

"I did." Izzie said from the back seat.

"Do you remember 'Fun Bobby'?"

"Yeah…"

Ellie laughed. "Derek, in college, was like 'Fun Bobby', so when he told me stories about college, the majority of them started with 'I was so wasted' or 'We were so bonged', or even 'Okay, so I woke up in this dumpster in New Jersey'. Derek just plain makes me laugh."

"If he was like that, how did he get in to Med School?" George asked.

Ellie shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Well, what's your favorite thing about Addison?" Izzie asked.

"She's genuine. And hilarious. You know, you two should really have lunch with us."

Izzie shrugged. "I dunno."

"Meredith might…"

Ellie sighed. "George, is Meredith working today?"

"No."

Ellie smiled. "So, she never has to know."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie, George and Izzie made their way in to the cafeteria and quickly spotted Addison sitting by herself, listening to an iPod.

"Watch this." Ellie said, balancing her tray on top of Georges and tiptoeing over to the table. Leaning over, she put her head close to Addisons ear, and, without removing the earphone, whispered, "Boo." Addison shrieked and jumped out of her seat, and promptly began hitting Ellie on the arm. "Ow. Ow! Damn it, Shepherd, cut it out!" Addison continued to hit her, unaware of Izzie and George, who were both laughing. "I brought reinforcements, and they will not hesitate to kick your ass." Addison froze and turned, making eye contact with Izzie, who waved, and then George, who nodded, trying not to drop the trays he was carrying.

Addison took the earphones out of her ear. "Are they eating lunch with us?"

"No. George is my slave for the day; he's just carrying my tray." Ellie sighed. "Is it a problem if they do?"

Addison shook her head. "No. That's totally fine."

Ellie took her tray from George and sat down at the table next to Addison. Both George and Izzie hesitated and Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, we are not going to bite."

Izzie sat down, smiling sympathetically at Addison. "I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd, it's just…"

"Don't worry about it Izzie…and please, call me Addison."

Izzie nodded. "Okay."

An awkward silence filled the table before Ellie spoke again. "Okay, so I believe there were about 12 questions left when we arrived this morning."

George smiled. "I forgot. Okay, uh…" George looked down at the table. "Favorite…" He looked at Addison, then back at Ellie, and cleared his throat. "Favorite Addison-Derek moment."

Ellie smiled. "Uh…I'd have to say my first Christmas with them. I was 18, and the year before I'd spent Christmas with Meredith and Ellis…which was really just with Meredith because Ellis couldn't seem to tear herself away from the hospital, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Before it had been just me and my Dad, and then I spent 2 Christmas' with Meredith, so I didn't really know what it would be like, but Addison would not take no for an answer."

"You say that a lot." George said.

"She does it a lot." Addison stuck her tongue out at Ellie, who grinned and continued. "Anyway, it was their last Christmas not being married, so they decided to spend it without their extended family…which was really Derek's family and Addisons one brother, but still…they wanted to have a small Christmas. So, just like on Thanksgiving, I had refused, but I had been really adamant, and I said even if Derek showed up on my doorstep in an Elf costume I wouldn't intrude on their Christmas."

"She was such a pain in the butt." Addison said, grinning.

"Was?" George asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Hey!" Ellie said, crossing her arms. "How rude." George shrugged and Ellie laughed. "Anyway, I did have Christmas presents for them, so I decided to stop by at about 2 o'clock to drop them off, and when the door opened, Addison got so excited that I was there that I couldn't really leave. I didn't want to disappoint her. So, I stayed. We drank a ton of Egg Nog, exchanged gifts, watched _A Christmas Story_ and _White Christmas_ like three times each, and at midnight, Derek reached under the tree and pulled out identical boxes, and handed one to each of us." Ellie shoved back the arm of her sweater and revealed a sterling silver bracelet. "This was inside. We each got one, and engraved on the outside is something Addison said to me at Thanksgiving." Ellie slid off her bracelet and began to read the inside. "Family is about more than blood, it's about an unbreakable connection that no one else understands." Ellie smiled. "Basically, it means that I don't have to be her blood relative to be her best friend. And vice-versa. I'd only known them 6 months, and I was closer to Addison than I had gotten to Meredith in a two year period. Derek reminded me that they will always be my family." Ellie looked down at the bracelet. "This bracelet has gotten me through a lot." Izzie and George both looked at Addison, who had a similar expression on her face. It was a mix of pain and love, friendship and betrayal, and it showed a lot of layers to their friendship.

"Um…" Izzie cleared her throat. It was obviously time for a new subject. "What's your favorite Meredith moment?"

Addison grinned. "Yeah, I'd like to hear this."

Ellie sighed. "Are you sure?"

Addison nodded. "Why not?"

"My favorite Meredith moment is the day she called me to tell me that she's met the man of her dreams." Ellie managed a small smile. "I was so happy for her. She rattled on and on about how great he was, how much he made her smile…I almost called Addison, I was so happy." George cocked one eyebrow. "Addie and I weren't exactly speaking at that point." George nodded. "I was ridiculously happy, practically bouncing off the walls…and then she told me his name." Ellie sighed. "Derek Shepherd."

Addison looked taken aback. "Why is that your favorite Meredith moment?"

Ellie stared at her tray. "Because…she was happy."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the group of four had been joined by Alex and Cristina, and all four interns were positively mesmerized by the stories that Ellie and Addison were telling. 

"You did not." Cristina spat out, staring at Addison.

"I did." Addison grinned. "I spent 72 hours in triage so that I could scrub in on a surgery."

"Oh my God." Cristina grinned. "Hero!"

"Cristina…" George hissed.

"Shut up, O'Malley. That is totally something I would do." Cristina laughed. "It's probably something I will do."

Elli nodded. "I spent a whole day doing all of Derek's grunt work so that Addison would let me scrub in on a surgery."

"How does that work?" Izzie asked, leaning towards Ellie. Both Izzie and Cristina were intrigued with how Ellie and Addison had gotten to the status they were at.

"Derek was finishing his last year as a resident my first year as an intern. I wanted to be part of a surgery Addison was doing on a Tuesday, and she wanted to leave early Monday night. She was okay to go, but Derek still had stuff to do, so she promised me that I could scrub in if I would finish up all of Derek's paperwork and check on his patients." Ellie groaned. "It took me until 4 a.m. because I kept getting interrupted. I slept at the hospital."

"Oh, waah." Addison said. "That was one night."

"It was not one night! I think I slept at home maybe twice a month."

"Was that my fault?" Addison asked, smirking.

"Yes! I was the intern that did all the grunt work because I was friends with the Shepherds, and they offered my services up to everyone." Ellie grinned. "I was the second best Neurosurgeon in the hospital though."

"Second best?" Alex asked, cocking one eyebrow.

Ellie nodded. "Second only to Derek Shepherd."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

"Dr. Stevens?" Izzie looked up from the chart she was reading and smiled at Ellie. "I could use your help with something…"

"Sure, Dr. Grey." Izzie followed Ellie in to a room and Ellie shut the door. "What's going on?"

"I need you to do an ultrasound." Izzie nodded. "And then not tell Addison."

"Uh…"

Ellie sighed. "I already know I'm pregnant, but…" Ellie sat down and put her head in her hands. "Eight weeks ago the last person I slept with was Mark." Izzie raised her eyebrows. "I'm not ready to tell Addison that yet. Besides, I need to make sure the baby is okay, because after the fall I took when Mark hit me…"

Izzie nodded. "Okay. But why me? Why not wait for Meredith?"

"Because I trust you." Ellie looked up at Izzie. "I'd rather have you do it."

Izzie nodded. "Sure. I have to go get a machine, though." Ellie nodded and Izzie left, running directly in to George. "Hey."

"Hi." George looked down. "Do you know where Ellie is?" Izzie pointed towards the room she had just come from and continued down the hall. George entered the room slowly, startling Ellie.

"George?" Ellie smiled. "What's up?"

"I just…" George sat down next to Ellie. "I'm sorry about the way I treated you and Addison at lunch."

"You were being loyal to Meredith, George…"

"That's not an excuse though. You and Addison don't deserve that treatment from me…"

"Don't worry about it George."

He nodded. "So, uh, what are you and Izzie doing in here anyway?"

"George…can you keep a secret?"

* * *

"Cristina…" Izzie poked her head out of the exam room. "Cristina…" 

Cristina stopped halfway down the hall and turned. "What?"

"I need your help."

Cristina made her way slowly towards Izzie. "With what?"

"I need to get an ultrasound machine to 301 without Dr. Shepherd seeing."

"Where is she?" Izzie pointed down the hall to the front desk. "Okay." Cristina headed to the front desk. "Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes?" Addison looked up from the chart she was signing and leaned against the desk. "Can I help you with something?"

"I just…I had a question."

"Okay…"

"Well, I just…" Cristina looked down. "With only one fallopian tube, how likely is it that I'll be able to have a child?"

"The odds aren't great…they're not bad, but they're not great. You would probably have to get invitro just to make sure it actually happens." Cristina nodded as Izzie pushed the ultrasound machine behind Addison and mouthed 'thank you'. "I can look in to finding you a good doctor here in Seattle, if you're interested."

"Oh, thanks, but not yet. I'll let you know though." Addison nodded. "I just thought I'd ask."

"Okay." Cristina smiled and walked away, following Izzie down the hall.

"Thanks." Izzie said, pushing the machine in to room 301.

"Yeah." Cristina said, following her in to the room. "What is this for, anyway?"

"Me." Ellie said, drawing the curtains closed. "I'm not ready to tell Addison yet." Cristina nodded. "Izzie, I just need you to make sure the baby is okay."

Izzie nodded. "Sure."

"What if it's not?" George asked, leaning against the wall.

Ellie sighed. "I know enough to talk Izzie through taking care of it to an extent…and if I can't, then you can get Addison."

"Okay." Izzie said, plugging in the machine. "Let's do this."

* * *

"We should really talk to Dr. Shepherd." 

"I don't think that's necessary." Cristina said, eyeing George.

Izzie sighed. "She asked us not to, George. She said she can handle it. We have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Fine." The three interns rounded the corner, unaware that Addison had caught the end of their conversation.

"Addie?" Derek put one hand on her shoulder, startling her. "Are you alright?"

"I think there's something wrong with Eliot."

"You worry too much."

"I heard O'Malley, Stevens, and Yang…"

"Ellie will tell you. She tells you everything." Addison shrugged. "Have you two exchanged gifts yet?"

"Yeah. I gave her 3 Broadway posters I picked up during the summer, and she gave me a sombrero for Doc."

"You have 8,000 sombreros!"

Addison laughed. "I have 11 sombreros. And you love them."

Derek smiled. "Yeah. I do. Now, you're done at 6:00, right?" Addison nodded. "Good, because we have dinner reservations." Addison grinned and Derek leaned in and kissed her softly, causing Addison to let out a low moan. "I'll see you later." Addison nodded and leaned against the counter as he walked away, a smile on her face.

* * *

**11:30 P.M.**

Ellie flew to the nearest bathroom and in to the first stall. The nausea had kicked in while she was talking to a patient, and she had managed to finish the diagnosis and hand the chart to George before having to bolt. She threw up twice before the door to the stall had even shut.

"This is not good." She moaned, locking the stall door and hitting the floor. Luckily, she had both George and Izzie around the whole night, so she wouldn't be alone if something happened. She threw up again, one hand holding her hair back.

"Ellie?" Meredith's voice rang out through the otherwise empty bathroom. "El?"

"Yeah…" Ellie, flushed the toilet, opened the stall door and leaned out. "I didn't think you worked tonight."

"I don't. But, I couldn't sleep, and when I got here, George said you were sick." Meredith kneeled down next to Ellie. "He said I needed to try to talk some sense in to you." Ellie rolled her eyes. "What's going on?"

Ellie sighed. "I'm pregnant, but the baby probably isn't going to survive." Meredith sat down and leaned against the stall. "When Mark hit me, I landed on my stomach. The baby is losing oxygen…"

"Eliot! You should be trying to keep this baby alive!"

"Mere, in order to do that, I would have to call Addison. Then she would tell me that I'll have to spend the next two months on bed rest, and then be super careful until seven months, and then be on bed rest until the baby is born." Ellie leaned against the stall. "Once the baby is born…I'm not going to keep it, so Addison will want to adopt it, and their relationship isn't strong enough for a child."

"Addison and Derek should be deciding that…"

Ellie shook her head. "Two years ago, a nurse at the hospital had a baby under similar circumstances. Addie and Derek adopted the baby, and she died at six months old. Then the affair happened…I'm just trying to protect them."

"So you're just going to let the baby die?"

Ellie sighed, but it was obvious that she was trying not to cry. "I wasn't going to keep the baby anyway." Ellie stood, heading out of the bathroom. "I know what I'm doing, Meredith."

Meredith leaned against the stall and watched her older sister walk out of the bathroom. Meredith took a deep breath and vowed that she would call Addison Shepherd as soon as she could, no matter what Ellie said.

**Okay. That's it. Hope you liked it! I know it wasn't very funny, but...well, the next chapter won't be that funny either, but it'll get back to the fun-ness of Thirteen Days...this part just kind of happened. Feedback is much appreciated! – Mel.**


	9. The Walls Came Down

**I am so excited with the feedback I've gotten…I was worried people wouldn't like the last chapter…I'm a little worried you won't like this one, but uh…I'll get over it.**

**Sunday is the day Mark returns...Ooooh…hmmm…wonder what will happen.**

**By the way, I hate him. HATE. HATE.**

**Chapter Title: "The Walls Came Down" by Colin Raye**

**Half Love**

**"The Walls Came Down"**

_Tonight, my walls came down,  
__like a brick through a plate glass window,  
__with a wrecking ball sound, like old Jericho,  
__laid swift to the ground…the walls came down.  
-__"The Walls Came Dowm"  
__by Colin Raye_

**February 4th, 2006**

**1:00 A.M.**

Addison pulled Dereks arm tighter around her waist and snuggled closer to him. She felt him move in last moments before sleep, burying his nose in her hair, and she smiled. And then the phone rang.

"You answer it…I kill you." Derek whispered. Addison giggled and laced her fingers through his.

"You've reached Derek and Addison Shepherd…leave a message…"

"You changed it." She whispered. He nodded in to the back of her neck and she smiled again.

"Dr. Shepherd, it's Izzie Stevens. I don't want to interrupt your sleep, but…"

"IZZIE! Now is not the time to be polite!" Meredith Grey's voice rang out in the tiny trailer. "Derek. Derek! Addison…please pick up. It's Ellie. There's something very wrong. She's doubled over in pain…she can't speak. The only thing she's been able to do in the last 45 minutes is shake her head whenever anyone asks if she wants one of you here…she doesn't want you here, but she needs you. I think…I'm pretty sure she's having a miscarriage." Addison and Derek, both of whom had jumped out of bed and started to get dressed the second Meredith had said Ellie, froze. "God, I hope you get this…" Derek jumped for the phone and tossed it to Addison.

"Meredith?…we're on our way."

"What do I need to do?"

Addison slid her feet in to tennis shoes. "Get an ultrasound machine in there, and then sit and hold her hand. Until I look, we just have to let this miscarriage go by itself."

"Okay." Addison hung up the phone and followed Derek out to the car. Addison took deep slow breaths as he headed towards the hospital, speeding down the road.

"Are you okay?"

Addison rolled down the window, trying to get some air. "I didn't…I didn't even know she was pregnant."

* * *

Addison flew through the hospital, Derek close behind. George was taking care of another patient when Addison flew past, and he managed a smile. "Thank God someone finally called her." He said, letting out the breath he'd been holding in for the last hour. Derek raced past and nodded at George, who nodded back. 

"She'll be fine." Derek yelled as he reached the stairwell. "Addison will take care of her." George nodded and Derek raced up the stairs. He was relatively calm until he reached the floor Ellie was on, and he began to panic. It had been over an hour since someone had first tried to reach Addison; they had found both of their pagers in Dereks car, each one beeping with a **_911 – ELLIE_** page. Derek found Izzie and Meredith pacing outside an exam room, Addisons coat in Izzie's arms. "How is she?"

Izzie shrugged and Meredith sighed. "This is the worst miscarriage I've ever seen. Ellie had Izzie look before it got really bad…it's not just that the baby is losing oxygen, but from what I could tell her uterus is having a bad reaction to being pregnant…"

"How far along is she?" Derek asked, reaching for the door handle.

"8 weeks." Izzie whispered. "She's 8 weeks." Derek nodded and went in to the exam room.

"I'm fine." Ellie's voice startled him. "They weren't supposed to call you."

"You're not fine." Addison said. "Meredith said you were doubled in pain and couldn't speak…"

"Well, I can speak now," Ellie sat up, trying to get off the bed. "So obviously I'm fine."

"Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey!" Ellie jerked back from the edge of the bed. "Don't be stupid. You are not okay, damn it!" Derek threw his coat on a chair and walked over to the bed. "Meredith said the baby is losing oxygen, and from what she could tell, your uterus is having a bad reaction to being pregnant…"

"The baby is losing oxygen? Eliot!" Addisons eyes were wide. "If you'd told me…"

"This. This is why I didn't want you here. If I'd told you?" Ellie took a deep breath. "If I'd told you, I would be on bed rest for the next 7 months until the Spawn of Satan was born!" Ellie took another deep, shaky breath. "And then you, being you, would have wanted to adopt the baby…" Ellie began to take quick, deep breaths.

"She's hyperventilating. Derek, help me." Derek and Addison laid Ellie back on the bed and Addison turned on the ultrasound.

"Ow. Ow…oh…" Ellie moved to curl in to the fetal position, but Addison placed both hands on Ellie's lower stomach.

"Don't, honey. I can't examine you like that." Ellie choked out a sob. "Get Grey in here, have Preston prepare an OR, and see if you can figure out what she meant by Spawn of Satan…" Derek nodded, squeezed Addisons hand, kissed Ellies forehead and left.

"How is she?" Meredith asked as soon as Derek came in to the hall.

"Do you know who the father is?"

Meredith shook her head. "Izzie might."

Derek nodded. "Addison wants you in there to help her."

"Okay." Meredith went in to the room and Derek headed down the hall to locate Preston and Izzie.

* * *

**3:00 A.M.**

Izzie paced the bathroom, afraid she was going to be sick. If Addison hadn't picked up the phone, it would have gotten worse…now they were just waiting for Ellie to wake up after surgery. Addison said she was going to be fine. Just fine.

"Izzie?" Addison came in to the bathroom and saw her intern pacing, her face pale and hands shaking.

"It's my fault." Izzie said. "I've known since 3 o'clock. I should have told you. I should have made her lay down, hooked her to fluids, talked some sense in to her…I should have…" Izzie collapsed against the bathroom stall. "I knew, George knew, Cristina knew…eventually Meredith knew…someone should have told you…"

"Well, I'm not going to disagree with you on that one, but I can tell you this…Ellie would have fought you on laying down, ripped the I.V.s out, and…you can't talk sense in to Ellie when she's set her mind on something." Addison watched Izzie slide to the floor and sat down next to her. "It's not your fault." Addison swallowed. "On a completely different topic, Derek said that Meredith told him that you would know who the father is…"

Izzie nodded. "She told me that the last person she slept with…8 weeks ago…was Mark."

Addison cringed. "My God. No wonder she said 'Spawn of Satan'." Izzie nodded and looked down. "You want to know how the surgery went, don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"It went fine. Her uterus wasn't having a bad reaction, but the baby, for lack of a better phrase, was attacking her body because it wasn't getting enough oxygen."

"She'll be okay, though, right?"

Addison sighed. "Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Izzie…there's something you should know."

* * *

Derek clutched Ellies hand, closed his eyes, and listened to the beep of her heart monitor. Ellie was closer to him than any of his sisters, and he couldn't imagine losing her. It would kill Addison, and him…watching her clutch her abdomen in pain had made him want to vomit…seeing her in pain was almost as bad as seeing Addison in pain. Addison had no problem showing her pain to others, but Ellie, on the other hand, put up walls…thick, brick walls. 

"Derek?" Addison came in to the room and sat down next to her husband. "Are you alright?"

"Her walls are down." He whispered, lacing his fingers through Addisons. "She's vulnerable as hell. It's going to start again."

"I know." Addison said, squeezing his hand. "I already talked to Izzie, and she'll talk to George and Meredith…we'll get her through it."

"Seeing her this vulnerable…" Derek opened his eyes, let go of Ellies hand and took hold of Addisons other hand. "I can't lose you."

"Derek…you're not going to lose me."

"When she gets like this…she's like a little kid…our relationship is like that right now, Addie…if we fall apart…"

"We will not fall apart." Addison said, gripping Dereks hands. "I won't let that happen again. We let a tragedy pull us apart the first time…it won't happen again." Derek nodded and pulled Addison on to his lap. "Seeing her this vulnerable scares me too, Derek. The last time she was like this it was my fault, and she wouldn't let me be there…"

"Her nightmares came back after the affair?" Addison nodded as Derek rubbed small, slow circles on her back. "This time we're going to fix it. Permanently. No more nightmares."

"Derek, it's not that easy."

"I know. But we're going to fix it. Because it kills you to see her in pain…and it kills me to see you in pain." Addison put her head on Dereks shoulder and closed her eyes without another word. Just being close to him helped.

* * *

**6:00 A.M.**

Meredith made her way over to Ellies bed, trying not to wake Addison, who was sleeping in a chair by the window. She sat down next to the bed, playing with a string on her scrubs as she spoke. "Okay, sis. I know you're mad at me; I know you didn't want us to call Addison, but you have to understand…you were in pain…I couldn't watch that." Meredith kept her eyes on the floor, unaware that even speaking softly had woken Addison up. "The last time I saw you in that much pain was after the car accident…you would wake up screaming…"

"She still does." Merediths head jerked up, and she looked startled. "She has nightmares."

"Bad ones?"

Addison shrugged. "At first they were just because of the accident. Derek and I didn't really experience it, but her roommate said she would wake up screaming. By the time she moved in with us, they had stopped, for the most part, but they came back. Derek was in a car accident in 1996, and it freaked her out." Addisons voice shook. "We tried everything, but the only thing that we could do was deal with them as they happened."

"They just kept happening?"

Addison nodded. "Every once-in-a-while she would experience something at the hospital that would trigger the memory and send her in to weeks of horrible nightmares. She never talked about them, but I could tell. I could always tell." Addison sighed. "When she started dating Mark in 2001, they stopped. She had someone sleeping next to her that made her feel safe, and they only happened once-in-a-great-while." Addison looked away from Meredith, tears in her eyes. "Then the affair happened. She was in pain; Mark and I had hurt her, and the nightmares came back. She wasn't talking to me, but I knew. I could tell…she would show up at work pale and scared looking…and she wouldn't let me help her." Addison had tears streaming down her face. "She puts up these walls so that nothing can hurt her, and when something finally does, the walls crumble, and she's as vulnerable as a two-year-old."

Meredith looked panic stricken. "Do you think they'll come back?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. But you'll want to be prepared."

"I remember right after her Dad died in that horrible car accident…she'd only been living with us a few weeks, and she was in the room next to mine…I was only 13, and it scared me to death when she'd wake up screaming." Meredith looked down. "Ellis would try to help her relax, but nothing worked, and it happened like every other night."

Addison nodded. "And you couldn't help her, right?" Meredith nodded. "Because she wouldn't tell you anything." Meredith nodded again. "I know how you feel."

Meredith sighed and stood. "I need some coffee. Do you want some?"

Addison nodded. "Black, please." Meredith nodded. "Thanks."

"Yeah." Meredith headed out of the room, a solemn look on her face.

"Grey?" Meredith turned. "Thank you." Meredith cocked one eyebrow. "For calling me. Thank you for calling me." Meredith nodded and left the room, her mind reeling, trying to figure out how to help Ellie.

**Okay, so this is the only one of the Thirteen Days that's going to be in two parts. Cuz I could save it and not post it until I finish the rest, but that might not be until Monday, so I figured today would be better. Dontcha think?**

**Hope you liked it. Feedback is appreciated! Mel.**


	10. Wake Up Screaming

**Okay, so I was stoked with the awesome feedback I got from the last chapter…I love you guys!**

**Chapter Title: "Wake Up Screaming" by Gary Allan**

**Half Love**

"**Wake Up Screaming"**

_Watchin' shadows dance in the ledge  
__Suddenly you appear then you whisper in my ear  
__And I jump right over the edge  
__Just a dream that I seem to recall  
__Can't you tell me which doctor to call  
__Tell him please I'm not feelin' too well…  
__I wake up screaming' when your dream goes by –  
_"_Wake Up Screaming"  
__By Gary Allan_

**February 4th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

George slipped quietly in to Ellie's hospital room, one of her smaller black suitcases in his hand. Izzie had put together a bag for Ellie, even figuring out which gifts were for days four and five, and had asked George to take it in to the room. Izzie was still having trouble going in to the room. George set the bag down at the end of the bed and sat down in the empty chair near the window.

"Hey El." George scooted the chair closer to her bed. "So, you can't be mad at Izzie and Meredith when you wake up…Izzie thinks you hate her, and Meredith…well, Meredith is Meredith. She acts like she doesn't care, but she does." George took a deep breath, unaware that Addison had come in to the room. "You can't be mad at the Shepherds either. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd had been sitting here pretty much all morning, and Dr. Shepherd…well, he was here, but Dr. Webber made him go home. Dr. Webber tried to get both of them to go home, but Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd refused." George laughed. "Dr. Shepherd protested going home without her, but she wouldn't let him say no. You were right. She does that a lot."

Addison stepped out of the shadows of the room, smiling. "George…"

He jumped. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd…"

"George, I told you, if you're going to hang around Ellie, you're going to have to call me Addison."

George nodded. "Is this another one of those 'I wont take no for an answer' things?" Addison nodded. "Okay…"

She smiled. "Good." Addison set a wrapped package on the table next to the bed and sat down in what had become her more permanent chair.

"Is that her day four gift?" Addison nodded. "I think Izzie put yours in the bag." He said, pointing towards the end of the bed.

"Oh…" Addison grinned. "Tradition says we open them together…even if it's a day late."

"You two are big on tradition, aren't you?"

Addison laughed. "It keeps the Thirteen Days going. Otherwise it would probably fall apart."

"Why?"

Addison shrugged. "I guess because we're not organized enough to make sure it happens. Saying it's tradition makes it so that we remember to do it." George cocked one eyebrow. "I know it doesn't really make any sense, but it's logical to us."

George laughed. "Okay, sure."

"How much about our relationship did Ellie tell you?"

George shrugged. "I dunno. We played twenty questions yesterday, and she told Izzie and I some stories the night before but…not much."

"I grew up with just an older brother, and Ellie…well, she didn't get to know her sister until she was 16. There are things sisters do; connections they share, that Ellie and I found in each other." Addison laughed. "People think we're strange, but…George, do you have siblings?"

"I have brothers. They're nuts. And when I'm with them…I'm kind of nuts." Addison laughed. "So I know what you mean. It's hard when other people don't get it."

"Its especially hard for Ellie. She has a sister, but she and Meredith aren't close. They never really got the chance to be." George nodded and then groaned as his beeper went off. "Are you still on shift?"

"Unfortunately, and now that Ellie's unable to work, Webber assigned this peppy 2nd year Resident that makes even me sick." George made a face. "Not many people make me sick."

Addison wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Well, you know, if you guys chase her away, I can probably convince Webber to let me take over."

George's eyes widened. "That would be fantastic, Addison." He jumped up. "That…oh man, I have to tell Cristina." He left the room smiling, and Addison leaned towards Ellie.

"Hey, kid…not all of them hate me anymore."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"Shepherd, I though I told you to go home." Derek cringed as Richard walked up behind him.

"Oops." Derek turned around. "Okay, you did. But there isn't anyone there except the dog, and its too quiet. And I'm worried about Addie sitting here by herself."

"She's not by herself." Derek raised his eyebrows and Richard pointed him towards Ellies room. Derek looked in the window and saw Addison sitting with George and Izzie. "You don't need to worry. Go home."

"Why can the three of them stay but I can't?" Derek whined.

"Because…Stevens and O'Malley just got off shift and haven't been sitting by her all morning, and Addie is her doctor." Richard looked down. "Not to mention, she wont leave."

Derek laughed. "She wont listen to you?"

"No."

"That's priceless." Derek grinned. "Classic Addison." Richard rolled his eyes. "I'm not leaving. I don't care if you gave me the day off, I'm not going home." As Derek blew past Richard and in to the room, Addison let out a contagious laugh.

"No way."

George nodded. "We hid in the bathroom. Eating pizza. For hours, until Meredith would come home and the dog would follow her around."

Izzie laughed. "And that only worked for a few days. Then Doc started eating Merediths clothes…she finally agreed that the dog was crazy."

Addison looked behind her at Derek. "They gave us a psycho dog."

"He likes me."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Only because you let him jump all over you and you run around outside with him."

"I like dogs." Derek said, crossing his arms.

Addison sighed. "You're impossible."

Derek shrugged. "If you say so." He motioned towards Ellie. "How is she?"

Addison shrugged. "She's fine, she just hasn't woken up yet."

"Hmmm…" Derek sighed. "Have you eaten?"

Addison swallowed hard. "Yes…"

"Liar." Derek smiled. "O'Malley, how about you come with me, and we'll get these ladies some food."

"Okay." George stood, took one last look at Ellie and followed Derek out of the room.

"He likes her, doesn't he?" Addison asked.

Izzie shrugged. "I'm not sure. He might. You think he's got a chance?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. Mark hurt her pretty bad…actually, I cant really blame that on him." Addison looked down. "George might have a chance…but he should really make his move."

"Yeah." Izzie smiled, thinking about how George was still waiting for Meredith. "He really should."

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

_Ellie curled up on her side, pulling Marks arm tighter around her. She couldn't help but be happy. They were together…after that stupid fight they'd had at the hospital, he's come over to her apartment and apologized, and it had just made her feel better. There was still something a little off with him, but she was sure that at some point everything would go back to normal. Marks phone began to ring, and he reached over to the bedside table and picked it up._

"_Hello?...yeah…now?...okay…yeah, sure…I'll be there soon." He sat up and looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry baby, they need me at the hospital. There's a surgery that Derek is doing…they need my help."_

_Ellie nodded. "Sure. Go." He kissed her forehead and got out of bed, dressing quickly and giving her one last kiss on the lips before bolting out the door._

_>>>_

_Ellie had just sat down on the couch, a drink in hand, when someone knocked lightly on the door. She muted the television, set her drink down and stood. She was hoping it was Mark, and he'd forgotten his key or something. He hadn't been around much lately. _

"_Derek?" Her best friend's husband, and boyfriends best friend, stood in the doorway, drenched from the New York rain, a grim look on his face._

"_I didn't know where else to go."_

Addison and George were watching Ellie as she began to sweat and her heartbeat began to rise.

"Is she…?" Addison nodded. "Should we wake her?"

"No. She'll wake up." As soon as the words came out of Addison mouth, Ellies eyes shot open, and she sat up, but instead of screaming, she was crying. "Ellie?" Addison moved to hug her friend, and Ellie pulled away.

"Don't. Don't touch me. I hate you." George moved to Ellie and pulled her in to his arms. She began to cry in to his chest. "Derek…I…I need Derek." George nodded, kissed her forehead and left the room. Derek was right outside, and before Addison could even open her mouth, Derek was sitting at Ellies side, holding her in his arms. "I…I…"

"Sssshhh…" He said, rocking her back and forth. "You're okay, you're okay…" Addison collapsed in to the chair, watching the exchange with a look of panic.

George grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. "Are you okay?"

"I…she didn't even want to look at me." Addison said, still panicked. "I mean, I can understand her wanting Derek, he was always able to comfort her, but…she wouldn't even look at me…"

"Do you think the dream was about the affair?"

Addisons panicked expression began to calm, as if she hadn't even thought of that. "Oh my god, George, you're right. I didn't even think of that." She took a deep, shaky breath. "That had to be what it was."

George nodded. "Maybe you should go get some coffee or something. I'll talk to her, and let her know you want to talk to her, and maybe she'll change her mind."

Addison smiled. "Thanks George." He nodded and she headed down the hall as he went back in to the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking Ellie in the eye as he made his way over to the bed. Derek was still sitting next to her, but was no longer clutching her to his chest.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I don't remember a lot. What happened?"

George looked at Derek and received a look that said 'you tell her'. "Because the baby was losing oxygen, he began to attack your body, trying to get air. You were in a lot of pain, and Izzie and Meredith called Addison and Derek, and you went in to surgery." George took hold of her hand. "Addison saved your uterus and ovaries, but the baby, obviously, died, and you probably wont be able to get pregnant for a long time. Maybe never."

Ellie nodded. "Addison operated on me?"

"Yeah." George sighed. "Look, I don't know what set you against her a few minutes ago, but she really wants to talk to you…"

"Where is she?"

"She went to get coffee. She's been here since one o'clock this morning."

Ellie nodded. "I remember her coming in this morning…but I don't remember much else."

"Ellie?" She turned to Derek, who still looked very worried. "What were you dreaming about?"

She looked down. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Ellie, Addison was the first person here when you woke up, and George said you snapped at her. Obviously something triggered that…"

Ellie sighed. "I was lying next to Mark, and then his phone rang, and he said he had to go to the hospital, and the next thing I knew you were at my door, upset and soaking wet…" Ellie looked down. "I didn't mean to snap at her…I just…"

"You were dreaming about one of the worst nights of your life…which she caused…its understandable." Derek said. Someone knocked on the window, and when George turned he noticed that it was Addison.

"Do you want to see her?" He asked. Ellie nodded and George waved the okay to Addison. She came in the room, and George and Derek left, leaving the two women alone.

"George said you operated on me." Addison nodded. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that…"

Addison set her cup of coffee down on the table and sat down in the chair. "It's okay, honey…" Ellie slid over on the bed and Addison stood and then sat down next to her. "Were you dreaming about the affair?" Ellie nodded. "Okay. How are you feeling otherwise?"

"Okay, I guess. I don't remember a lot past you showing up last night."

"You were in a lot of pain. Your body was trying to have a miscarriage, and the baby didn't want to go, so he was attacking your body."

"Everyone keeps saying he…"

"It's better than saying it. You cant tell until 13 weeks…you know that…"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know." Ellie leaned her head on Addisons shoulder. "Am I going to be okay to go on our getaway?"

Addison laughed. "You should be."

"Good." Ellie cringed and lifted her head. "Damn. I don't have your day four gift with me."

Addison reached for the bag at the end of the bed. "I think George said Izzie put it in here." Addison opened the bag and held it on her legs.

Ellie smiled. "She did." Ellie grabbed a wrapped package and Addison set the suitcase down on the floor and took her own wrapped package from the table by the bed. Addison handed Ellie hers, and took her own from Ellies lap, and both women set to opening them. Ellie pulled out an original copy of the Disney movie _Peter Pan_, along with coloring books, a salt and pepper set, and limited edition plates with Peter Pan on them. "Addie! Where did you find all of this?"

Addison smiled. "I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but…well, we didn't spend it together. I've been collecting it since last year."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you. Now, open yours moron."

Addison pulled the top off of the box and pulled out a Martini set signed by James Dean, Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis, jr. "I cant believe you found this."

Ellie looked at the box. "There are two Martini glasses, and a mixer in there, I'm pretty sure. The mixer is the one signed." Addison hugged Ellie and set both of their boxes on the table by the bed.

"Thank you." Ellie nodded and leaned back in to the pillow. "I'm sorry."

Ellie stared at her, a blank expression on her face. "For what?"

"I just…I'm sorry. For everything."

Ellie scoffed. "Addison…we agreed not to have this conversation until after the Thirteen Days were over. I want to enjoy this as much as possible. I'm going back to New York in a couple of months, and we wont be able to see each other as much."

"I thought you were going to try to stay here."

Ellie shrugged. "Richard doesn't seem too keen on the idea."

Addison smiled. "We'll change his mind." Ellie raised one eyebrow. "We will. You're staying. You'll be the second best neurosurgeon in Washington."

Ellie laughed. "If you say so…" Ellie put her head back on Addisons shoulder and Addison leaned back in to the pillow, closing her eyes. "No matter how many times I snap at you…I still love you, _soeur_."

"I love you too _sorella_."

**Okay, so that's it for Day Four part II. I hope you liked it!**

**By the way, _soeur_ is French for sister, and _sorella_ is Italian for sister. Incase you were wondering.**

**Reviews make me smile. A lot! – Mel.**


	11. Things We Go Through

**Thanks for all of your reviews! I love hearing that people think I'm a good writer. It makes me feel awesome.**

**What doesn't make me feel awesome is the way Derek treated Addison in "Yesterday." Lindy said it just right. "He's now officially McAsshole." I agree. But I did think George was getting in some good lines. Like, "Sorry, I was just choking back some McVomit", and then when Cristina said, "I don't know what McDreamy and McSteamy see in her" and Alex said, "She's McHot", George made me totally die by saying, "McYEAH she is." Pretty much hilarious. I think.**

**Anyway, read and review, and I hope you like this chapter!**

**Chapter Title: "Things We Go Through" by Hawk Nelson**

**Half Love**

"**Things We Go Through"**

_These are the things we go through  
__Let's take control and be ourselves  
__Let's not waste time wondering about  
__How we're gonna make it out  
__Wake up everyone around you  
__Let's rock until the clock strikes two  
__Stand up for what you believe and shout too…  
__Save me I'm all alone as I'm coming to the surface  
__Tell me I've got to know what is my meaning and my purpose  
__Show me I'm far from home lost with no sense of direction –  
_"_Things We Go Through"  
__By Hawk Nelson_

**February 5th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Mark Sloan made his way slowly through the hospital, trying to find Ellie and avoid Derek at the same time. He'd done what she'd asked, he had gone back to the hotel and he had stayed away. He had stayed away for four days. But now it was the fifth, and they always went out to dinner on the fifth.

"Can I help you?" The tall blonde that had stopped Derek from beating him to a pulp stepped in front of him.

"Yeah." Mark smiled. "What's your name?"

"Stevens."

"Just Stevens?"

"Dr. Stevens."

He nodded. "Right. Well, Dr. Stevens, I'm looking for Eliot Grey." Izzie's face paled. "Is she here?"

"Uh…"

"I'm going to assume by the look on your face that she is here, you just don't want to tell me where she is. Is that right?"

Izzie swallowed. "Look, I'm sorry, sir…"

"Dr. Sloan."

Izzie nodded. "Dr. Sloan…I can't help you."

"Why not? Is it because she's not here, or you don't know where she is, or is it because the Shepherds wouldn't want you telling me where she is?"

Izzie cleared her throat. "I just can't help you." Izzie turned and headed down the hall and Mark sighed. He was leaning against the wall, waiting, although for what he didn't know, when Meredith came up to him.

"What are you going here?"

"You're the sister, right?"

"Meredith."

"Right. Meredith. The sister; and the one that was sleeping with Shepherd, right?" Meredith stared at him. "What is it with you people and not answering questions?"

"What do you want?"

Mark sighed. "Eliot. I want to see Eliot."

Meredith looked down. "I don't think I can help you with that."

"Why can't anyone help me? I just want to celebrate her 30th birthday with her, because I won't be here on the 13th."

Meredith sighed. "I'll talk to her. That's all I can do."

Mark smiled. "Thank you." Meredith nodded and walked around the corner, only to run directly in to Derek.

"Hi." She said.

He smiled. "Good morning."

"Mark's back."

Derek cringed. "Bad morning."

"He wants to see Ellie."

"Of course he does."

"He keeps calling her Eliot."

"He always has."

"I want to hit him."

"So do I."

"You should have punched him days ago."

"Your friend is the one that stopped me."

"You can hit her too."

Derek laughed. "I don't think that's a very good idea, Meredith."

She shrugged. "Whatever. I told Mark I would talk to her."

"Then talk to her. She's awake. She may actually want to see him."

Meredith nodded. "Did you finally get your wife to go home?"

"No, but she did agree to go to the on-call room and get some sleep. And she said Ellie should be able to go home tomorrow."

Meredith smiled. "Good. Mark's around the corner if you feel like giving someone a black eye."

"Don't tempt me." Derek said, laughing. Meredith grinned and headed down the hall to Ellie's room. Ellie was sitting up in bed, looking out the window when Meredith walked in to the room.

"Hey." Ellie turned and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Ellie shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She smiled. "I was pretty much asleep last night when you came in, and I didn't get the chance to thank you."

"For what?" Meredith asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"For calling Addison and Derek. I know I didn't want you to, and …well, thanks for not listening to me, I guess."

Meredith laughed. "Sure." She sighed. "So, uh, I, uh…I have to ask you something."

"Okay…"

"There's someone here that wants to see you, but…"

"It's Mark, right?" Meredith nodded. "It's the fifth…the four of us always went out to dinner on the fifth…" Ellie sighed. "Where's Addison?"

"Asleep in the on-call room."

"And Derek?"

"I'm not sure. Do you want me to find him?"

"No. I want you to keep him…keep them away from my room."

"You want to talk to Mark?"

Ellie nodded. "I want to talk to Mark."

* * *

Mark sat down next to the hospital bed and sighed. "Why didn't someone call me?" 

Ellie shrugged. "Probably because most of the people here hate you."

"Gee, thanks for being nice about it."

"What exactly would you like me to say, Mark?"

He sighed. "I don't know. So, uh, what happened?"

Ellie looked down at her legs. "I was pregnant."

"Was? As in, you were pregnant? Like, past tense?" Ellie nodded. "Okay, well…was it mine?"

"Yeah, it was."

"How…I…did you have a miscarriage?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "I mean, was it predestined, or…?"

"I don't know, Mark. It could have been, but I think falling on my stomach when you hit me made it worse."

Mark cringed. "God…I am so sorry, _tesoro_." He said, reaching for her.

Ellie pulled away. "_Tesoro?_ Don't call me that. You stopped being able to call me that the day you called Addison _tesoro_."

"What? I never called Addison…"

"Yes, you did. The day I yelled at her in the hospital and told her I never wanted to speak to her again…she flew out of the hospital, and you ran after her…" Ellie sighed. "You fell in love with her, didn't you?"

Mark shrugged. "I…"

Ellie nodded. "Of course you did. Why wouldn't you?"

"Look, Eliot…" Mark sighed. "So what if I did? As if you're one to talk."

"Excuse me? What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh please. As if you're not in love with Derek Shepherd."

Ellie's eyes widened. "Uh…I'm not."

"Well, you were."

"No, I wasn't." Ellie sighed. "Did you think that?" Mark nodded. "Did Addison…?"

"It's not like you were subtle about it."

"There was nothing to be subtle about!" Mark raised one eyebrow. "I am not in love with Derek Shepherd!"

"If you say so."

Ellie sighed. "Is that why you and Addie…?"

Mark nodded. "We wanted a back-up plan."

Ellie scoffed. "A back-up…a back-up plan? You figured, hey Ellie's the kind of person that would jump her best friends husband so we'll just jump each other first so that we don't get hurt?" Mark shrugged. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out. Get out of my hospital room, get out of the hospital, get out of Seattle…just get out."

"I was just being honest…"

"I don't want you to be honest with me, Mark; I want you to get out!"

"Okay, fine." He stood. "You should know, Addison still thinks you're in love with Derek."

"You don't know that."

He nodded. "You look at him the way you used to, you run to him like you used to…it's pretty obvious, Eliot."

"Get the hell out."

"Fine." He backed out of the room. "Just don't be surprised if Addison freaks out on you eventually."

Ellie glared. "GET OUT!"

Mark smirked. "Take care of yourself, Eliot. You're going to need it." Mark left and before the door had even shut, Ellie was in the bathroom, throwing up.

"Ellie?" George came in to the bathroom. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, George, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Ellie flushed the toilet, rinsed her mouth out in the sink and made her way back to the bed.

"Is that normal?" Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Throwing up after a miscarriage?" George asked, sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

"Oh. No. But it is normal after a visit from Mark Sloan."

George gave her a confused look. "What happened?"

"It's a long story." Ellie leaned back in to the pillow and closed her eyes.

"Do you want me to get Addison?"

"No."

"Derek?"

"No."

"Meredith?"

Ellie reached her hand out. "Just stay, George." He took hold of her hand, scooting the chair as close to the bed as possible. "Will you stay?"

"Yeah," he said, squeezing her hand. "I'll stay."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"Why won't you talk to me, Ellie?"

"Just do the check up."

"I don't get you…what did I do now?"

Ellie sighed. "You didn't do anything, okay?"

Addison sat down on the edge of the bed. "Your sister told me Mark was here this morning. Did he say something?"

"It's not important."

"Look, I don't want you holding this in. It's what causes the nightmares. Would you rather talk to Derek?"

Though Addisons tone was fully of worry and completely without disdain, Ellies heart began to beat rapidly. "No…" She said her voice shaky. "Why would you think that?"

Addison stood up, shut the door to the room and sat down in the chair next to the bed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ellie looked down. "I…I don't want to talk about it."

Addison sighed. "Ellie…please. You know that holding things in is what causes the nightmares…just talk to me."

Ellie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Addie…do you think I'm in love with Derek?"

Addison stared. "Huh?"

"Do you think I'm in love with…?"

"I heard the question. What…no, Ellie, why?"

Ellie looked down at her legs. "Forget it."

Addison sighed and moved to the edge of the bed. "Mark told you." Ellie looked up, making eye contact with Addison. "When Derek started being really absent, it was really hard, because I was just as absent as he was…but then every time I saw him, he was with you, and you two were always laughing. You looked like you were having so much fun. And then every time he and I talked, we fought. He looked at you like he had once looked at me, and you looked at him like I had once looked at him."

"Addie…you were seeing things. I looked at Derek as my brother…I still do. And he…I can't exactly speak for him, but I'm pretty sure…in fact, I'm almost positive, he saw who you used to be in me. We were in a surgery once, and when it was finished, he said, 'You're a fantastic surgeon. I don't know what I would do without you, Addie.' Once he realized that he'd called me Addie, he corrected himself, but…Addison, he missed you." Addison looked down. "There's a reason that Derek and I laugh so much. It's what our relationship was built on." Ellie took a deep breath. "I was never going to tell you this, but I might as well. Remember the first week we met, and I told you about the really gorgeous guy that I talked to at the gym I was working at on the weekends?"

"Yeah…"

"The one you tried to convince me to ask out?" Addison nodded. "Be thankful I refused to. I would have stolen your fiancé right out from under your nose."

Addison gaped. "Seriously?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. We joke about it all the time because the day before you brought him in to the catering company, he told me that I reminded him of his fiancé, and I told him that my friend had tried to get me to ask him out and I was really glad that I hadn't because it would have been ridiculously embarrassing. The next day, the two of you came in together, and it was all I could do not to die laughing."

Addison shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it was something Derek and I could share, that's all."

Addison smiled. "That's pretty funny, I guess."

"It's one of those, 'you had to be there' things."'

Addison nodded. "Yeah. Look, I thought a lot of things and made a lot of assumptions last year, and most of them were wrong. But no, I don't think you're in love with Derek."

"Good." Ellie smiled. "I hate to think that you ever did."

Addison shrugged. "Like I said, a lot of assumptions were made. Anyway, I have your Day Five gift, if you want it."

"I've got yours too." Ellie watched Addison out of the corner of her eye as she reached for an oddly shaped package. "Addie…you're lying."

"What? No, I'm not."

"You think I'm in love with him."

Addison shook her head. "I don't. I really don't. It's just that…someone convinced me that the two of you were in love, and I wanted to hurt you before you hurt me."

Ellie looked down. "I never would have hurt you." She said, looking down at her legs. "Look, obviously I had a crush on Derek when I first met him, but for Gods sake, I was 18. I got over it in like a month. I love Derek like a brother…no more than that. It hurts that you thought I would actually make a move on Derek."

Addison sat down, an oddly shaped package similar to Ellie's in her lap. "I know…I…I never even thought about it, and then…Mark pointed it out, and I couldn't stop thinking about it."

Ellie nodded. "Well, will you forget it? I'm not, nor have I ever been in love with your husband."

Addison smiled. "Okay."

"Okay." Ellie smiled and handed Addison her gift, receiving a similar, oddly shaped package. "Hey, uh, how soon can I come back to work?"

"Well, you can go home tomorrow, and as soon as you're feeling better you can come back."

"So, like, Day 7?"

Addison laughed. "Sure, but you won't be cleared for surgery until Day 9."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." Ellie pointed to the package Addison was holding. "Open it."

Addison ripped off the wrapping paper and pulled out water guns, two that looked like regular hand guns and a third that was large and brightly colored. "Oh my god." She said, laughing. "Open yours."

Ellie ripped off the wrapping paper and pulled out identical water guns. "Oh my god."

"I got them because Derek destroyed yours last year."

"He destroyed yours too."

Addison nodded. "I know."

"Tomorrow was supposed to be M.I. Day."

"I know. We'll just have to move it."

"Day Seven?"

"Don't you think that's a little soon for M.I. Day?"

"Addison Forbes…no day is too soon for M.I. Day."

Addison laughed. "True. Okay, Day Seven…and I've got back up guns."

Ellie smiled. "Good. I was so mad last year."

Addison nodded. "Me too."

"Do you need to clear this with Richard?"

"Already did." Ellie smiled. "Now, let me do this exam, or there won't be an M.I. Day."

Ellie laughed while spinning the two hand guns on her fingers like a cowboy in an old western movie. "Oh, Addie…there will always be an M.I. Day."

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

Meredith walked in to Ellie's room for the first time since 8:00 that morning. Ellie was looking through a Good Housekeeping magazine when Meredith reached the bed.

"Good Housekeeping? Seriously?"

"Hey, you sit in a hospital bed all day long, and we'll see what you end up looking through."

Meredith laughed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Are you doing okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Now that Mark is gone…I'm fantastic."

Meredith grinned. "Was the conversation with him terrible?"

"No…it was a conversation with Mark. I used to love talking to Mark, but, you know, after the affair…things between us got pretty bad."

Meredith nodded. "Uh…not to drastically change the subject or anything, but why do you have water guns under your bed?"

"Sssshhhh!" Ellie smiled. "I'll explain it to you later, but if Derek finds out…it's a bad thing. A bad, bad thing."

"Uh…"

Ellie sighed. "Shut the door. It's time for you to learn."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

Addison stumbled up the steps to the trailer, her body weak. She hadn't been home since the night Meredith had called, and she was exhausted. She opened the door to the trailer and came face to face with her husband, clothed only in a towel.

"Uh…Hi…"

Derek smiled. "I know you normally like hot baths when you're exhausted, but we don't have a bathtub, so I got the next best thing." He said, motioning to himself.

"Uh…I am not having sex with you tonight."

Derek laughed. "Good, because that's not exactly what I was thinking."

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Then what…?"

Derek pulled her in to the trailer and pulled her coat off of her shoulders. "Get in the shower, Addie."

"Um…"

Derek sighed. "Will you just trust me?"

Addison nodded. "Okay, okay." She said, moving towards the bathroom.

Derek waited until the shower was running before walking in to the bathroom. "Feel good?"

"Fabulous." She said. Derek shed the towel he was wearing and slipped in behind her. "Derek, what are you doing?" She turned around to face him. "I already told you…"

Derek laughed and brushed the water out of her eyes. "Addie, just let me take care of you."

She stared at him, looking deep in to his blue-gray eyes, and then smiled. "Okay."

"Okay." Derek kissed her nose and then spun her and dipped her head under the water and ran his fingers through her hair. Addison closed her eyes and relished the feeling of Dereks right hand in her hair and his left hand resting on her lower stomach. It reminded her of when they were first married, when they would do anything to take care of each other, and when she realized that making love had less to do with sex and more to do with showing the other person how much you loved them. And boy was Derek good at showing her.

**Okay. So I needed Addek fluffiness to compensate for the fact that Derek was a McAsshole in Sundays episode.**

**Hope you liked it. Much thanks to Kendel17…she knows what for…but if I tell you what for…I'll be giving away something I can't give away. ;)**

**Review please!**

**Mel**

**P.S. _Tesoro_ means lover in Italian. Loosely translated. And there will be an explanation for all the different language nicknames soon. Promise.**


	12. Going Down in Flames

**Thanks so much for all the reviews…you guys are so awesome. Pretty sure my friend likes McSteamy better than McDreamy and considering Derek's recent attitude…I'm rather inclined to agree with her.**

**Hope you guys like this chapter.**

**Chapter Title: "Going Down in Flames" by 3 Doors Down**

**Half Love**

"**Going Down in Flames"**

_Don't tell me what to think, 'cause I don't care this time  
__Don't tell me what to believe, 'cause you won't be there  
__Catch me when I fall  
__But you'll need me when I'm not here at all  
__Miss me when I'm gone again  
__I'm goin' down in flames  
__I'm fallin' into this again  
__I'm goin' down in flames  
__I'm fallin' into this again –  
_"_Going Down in Flames"  
__By 3 Doors Down_

**February 6th, 2006**

**10:00 A.M.**

"Go home."

"But…"

"No. I'm not kidding. Go."

"Addie…" Ellie leaned closer to her friend, pouting. "Can't I stay? I just want to observe some surgeries or something…you let Dr. Bailey hang out here yesterday, and she's supposed to be on maternity leave!"

"Dr. Bailey is not my best friend; therefore I do not have blackmail to make her go home. Besides, now that the baby is born, I can't make her do anything." Addison looked pointedly at Ellie. "You, however, I have blackmail against, and I'm already letting you come back tomorrow."

"I don't want to go home."

Addison signed Ellie's discharge papers and slammed them down on the desk. "Stop it. Stop acting like you're five."

"I'm not acting like I'm five."

Addison leaned against the counter, one hand on her right hip. "You're right, I'm sorry." Ellie smirked. "Three."

Ellie's jaw dropped. "Sometimes you are so rude."

Addison smiled. "I try." Ellie made a face and Addison laughed. "You'll be fine. Isn't today Derek and Ellie day anyway?"

Ellie panicked inside but managed to keep her composure. "Addison, you know we haven't done that in years."

"I thought you were going to start up again."

Ellie shook her head. "Not that I know of."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure you can find something to do." Addison smiled. "I have patients. See you later."

"What time is dinner tonight?"

Addison shrugged. "Six?"

Ellie nodded. "Okay. I'll just meet you here." Addison nodded and walked away, leaving Ellie alone at the front counter.

"Hey." George came up to the front desk, a smile on his face.

"Hi!"

"Are you headed home?"

Ellie nodded. "Unfortunately. I have to stop and take something to Derek for his and Addie's anniversary, but then…I don't really have anything else planned."

"Well, if you're up to it, I get off at noon, and we can hang out."

Ellie grinned. "George, that sounds fantastic."

"Do you want me to meet you at the house?"

Ellie shook her head. "I have your car, so I'll just come back after going to see Derek."

He nodded. "Okay. See you around noon."

Ellie nodded and they separated, Ellie heading out the front doors, and George heading to a patients room. Both of them had smiles on their faces bigger than anyone had seen on them in a long time.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Derek was sitting on the couch inside the trailer when he heard a car pull up outside. He looked and, not recognizing the car, leaned back in to the couch. Maybe someone was lost.

"_Amico_? Hello?" Ellie tapped on the screen door. "Derek?"

Derek opened the front door, a smile on his face. "Hi. I thought you would forget."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Forget?"

"Derek and Ellie day." He said, smiling. "Day 6 is always Derek and Ellie day."

Ellie nodded. "Oh. Right. Uh…actually, I have other plans, Derek."

"What?"

"Well…we haven't done it in a long time, so I sort of forgot."

Derek nodded. "Okay. Sure. So what's up?"

"Well, my lawyer drew up the papers so that you could rent the house from me."

Derek smiled. "Great. Come on in, I'll sign them now." Ellie nodded and followed Derek in to the trailer. "I really appreciate you letting us rent the house, El. I can get rid of this trailer and start building a house on the property." Ellie nodded, slightly distracted. Ever since her conversations with Mark and Addison the day before, she was almost afraid to be in the same room with Derek. She didn't want Addison to think something was going on. "_Sorellina_? Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Ellie jolted back to reality. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Okay…" Derek poured himself a cup of coffee. "Do you want some coffee?"

Ellie shook her head. "I can't…Addison said not for a couple of weeks."

"That's going to kill you."

Ellie nodded, laughing. "I know."

Derek shrugged and sat down at the table, Ellie following suit. "So, did Mark finally leave?"

"As far as I know."

"Good. I hated that he was here."

"Derek…you barely saw him."

"I know, but you saw him."

Ellie shrugged. "Whatever. It's over."

Derek stared at her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

"Are the nightmares coming back?"

Ellie sighed. "Look, I don't really have time to small talk-slash-banter with you, okay? I need to be back at the hospital by noon."

Derek looked taken aback. "Okay. Let me see the papers then."

Ellie slid them across the table. "They're pretty basic. The rent is $1,690 a month, plus utilities, and I'll need first and last from you."

Derek nodded. "Okay." He couldn't help but notice that Ellie seemed uncomfortable. "Did I do something?"

"Huh?" Ellie shook her head. "No, Derek, you didn't."

"You seem really distracted."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're reading in to something that isn't there."

"Ellie, I know you. Very well. I can tell when you're hiding something."

Ellie grimaced. "Apparently, so can the world."

"What?"

Ellie shook her head. "Forget it, Derek."

Derek shoved the papers aside and leaned towards her. "God damn it, Eliot, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on…"

"Mark thought I was in love with you."

Derek froze and stared. "_What_? Are you serious?"

"Yeah." Ellie sighed. "He convinced Addison I was going to jump you."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Well that's ridiculous."

Ellie forced a laugh. "You're telling me." The truth was, when she was 18, she hadn't completely discarded the idea of telling him she loved him.

"You would never do that."

Ellie stared. "They thought you were in love with me too."

Derek's eyes popped. "Well that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Ellie felt her heart break. Not because she was still in love with Derek, but because of the tone of his voice. Derek could see the pain in her eyes. "Oh, Ellie, that's not what I meant. I just…you and I would never be in love. I didn't mean for it to sound like someone falling in love with you was ridiculous." Ellie stared. "That's not what you thought, is it?"

"Not exactly." She snapped. "But thanks for making me feel good about myself."

"Ellie…"

"Derek, I want you to answer a question for me."

"Okay…"

"Why did you hang out with me so much when you and Addison first started having problems? Why was I the first one you always turned to?"

"You're my best friend, Ellie. I mean, for a while I had Mark, but really…you are my best friend."

Ellie nodded. She couldn't really sit in the trailer with him anymore. He aggravated her, because of how absent he was with Addison, because of what an ass he could be, because of the way he had ended things with Meredith, because of the way that he wasn't afraid to blame her for the way things ended with Meredith…and she was worried that he might eventually blame her for the Mark and Addison thing…just like Mark did. "Look, I have to go…hold on to the papers, look over them, and get them back to me. You can start moving stuff in the weekend Addie and I are gone."

"Ellie, don't be upset with me."

"I'm not." She said, her tone softening. "I'm not. Don't worry about it, okay?" Derek nodded and Ellie left, leaving him to think about why he had really turned to Ellie when Addison had cheated on him. The realization was starting to come to him that he was trying to make Addison jealous.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

_Ellie groaned as she heard a knock on the door. Derek was sleeping next to her, his body curled away from her. She could still remember early that morning, when she had woken up sweating and crying, and he was awake even before she opened her eyes. He knew when she had the nightmares. He'd experienced them enough while she was living with him and Addison. The knock on the door came again, and Ellie swung her legs over the side of the bed. She was still in the sweats and sweatshirt she'd been wearing when Derek had shown up late the night before, and he had managed to get his jeans and t-shirt back on before they went to bed, although Ellie wasn't exactly sure how. A lot of alcohol had been consumed. Ellie stood up and headed towards the front door as the knock came again, rubbing her eyes. She glanced in the bathroom mirror and pulled her hair up, yawning. The knock came a third time, and Ellie finally made it to the door and opened it._

"_God, I've been knocking for the last twenty minutes. I need to talk to you." Ellie stared at Addison, still trying to register that she was there. "Are you alright?"_

"_You woke me up." Ellie said, not really wanting to talk to her._

"_It's noon."_

"_I was up late last night."_

"_Why?"_

"_You tell me."_

_Addison cocked one eyebrow. "I don't know, Ellie. Jeez. Look, I need to know if you've seen Derek." Ellie stared. "You haven't?" Ellie coughed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Ellie glared, unwilling to even try to speak to Addison anymore and slammed the door shut. "ELLIE!" Addison banged on the door. "ELIOT, OPEN THE DOOR!"_

"_No." Ellie said, though more to herself than Addison._

_Derek came out in to the living room, his eyes barely open. "What the hell is going on?" Ellie rolled her eyes and leaned back against the couch as Addison banged on the door again._

"_ELIOT MICHAELA ANDERSON GREY, OPEN THE DOOR. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU."_

_Derek stared at the door. "Is that…?"_

"_Yup."_

"_Did you open the door already?"_

"_Unfortunately."_

"_Does she know I'm here?"_

"_Nope."_

_Derek sighed and opened the door. "I'm sorry, we don't appreciate solicitors."_

"_Oh, Derek…look, you have to let me talk to you…" Addison stopped mid-sentence and leaned around him to look at Ellie. "You know."_

"_Good observation, Sherlock Holmes."_

"_Ellie…"_

"_Go away."_

"Sorella_."_

"_Don't _Sorella _me. I don't want to talk to you."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Fuck you." Ellie stood, walked past Addison and Derek and in to the bathroom. The last thing she heard before starting the shower was the door slamming in Addisons face._

George watched as Ellie tossed and turned, to an extent, in the drivers seat of his car. She bolted up, crying and sweating, and he opened the door and took her in to his arms. He didn't know what else to do. She clung to him, sobbing in to his chest.

"Take a deep breath, Ellie. You're okay. You're safe." George leaned against the door of the car, lifting her and swinging her legs over his arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you to the passenger seat. And then taking you home."

"I don't want to go home, George."

"Ellie."

She stared in to his blue eyes. "I don't want to go home, George. I'll fall asleep again…please…"

He sighed. "We won't stay, but let me at least take you home so you can relax, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay." George set her in the passenger seat and shut the door, then raced around to the other side. "Thank you." She whispered, squeezing his hand as he shut the door. He leaned over, kissed her forehead and then started the ignition. Once they were out of the parking lot, Ellie took hold of his hand again, unwilling to let go. And George didn't mind at all.

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

"So then, Meredith shows up. She came home early from a sleepover, and all of my friends were a little shocked to see her." Ellie shook her head. "She fit in with them very well. A little too well."

"She drank? At 15?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. She drank. But we Grey's can most certainly hold our liquor. She was more competent than most of the other people there."

"Did Ellis ever find out?"

Ellie sat down on the park bench. "I'm not sure. She never said anything to me, so I don't think so, but I don't really know. I stopped talking to Ellis when she stopped paying for college."

George nodded and sat down next to her. "Okay, so, why is your last name Grey?"

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "What do you mean, George?"

"I mean, Thatcher Grey wasn't your father, so where did the last name Grey come from?"

Ellie laughed. "When I moved in with them, Ellis was very well known. I was good enough in school that I could have gotten in to NYU and then med school by myself, but Ellis figured it would be a sure thing if I had her last name." Ellie shrugged. "So I changed it…well, I didn't change it, I added it. So it's Anderson Grey."

George nodded. "Did it help you?"

"I guess. Once I got to med school, people kind of freaked out because Ellis Grey was my mother, so obviously I had to be good. They expected me to live up to a certain expectation…" Ellie sighed. "I'm a lot more like Ellis than Meredith is. And I'm a lot like my Dad too. My father was very competitive…he was a lawyer, and even though he did most of his cases pro bono, just because that's who he was, he won every case. He was good at what he did. Obviously, Ellis is amazing at what she does. I managed to live up to the expectation, and people stopped treating me like Ellis Grey's daughter and like a real surgeon." Ellie shook her head. "I'm afraid Meredith will never really experience that."

George shrugged. "She might."

"She's a good surgeon, but she doesn't show it very much. She let her last name get her through college, and it shows."

"I guess."

"I know you two are really close, George, and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. I just think Meredith needs to take it up a notch. She's selling herself short."

George laughed. "I won't disagree with you on that one." Ellie stared out at the water, her hand playing with George's absentmindedly. "Are you alright?"

"George…does Meredith hate me?"

"No…" He squeezed Ellie's hand and she turned to look at him. "She doesn't hate you. But she doesn't like that you're so close to Addison. I think she's getting used to it though."

"Yeah I've noticed that." Ellie sighed. "I don't know how to explain it to her…"

"Meredith is stubborn. She'll figure it out eventually; you just have to give her the time."

Ellie nodded. "You're right." Ellie intertwined their fingers and grinned. "Now what?"

George cocked one eyebrow. "When was the last time you went to the Space Needle?"

Ellie stared. "When I was twelve."

"Good. Let's go."

"Oh…George…"

"Are you afraid of heights?"

Ellie shook her head. "No, I just…I haven't been to the top of the space needle in 18 years. It's just been a long time."

"There's no time like the present, Ellie. If you wait too long, you'll never do it."

Ellie smiled. "Okay. On one condition."

George smiled. "Okay…" Ellie leaned in and kissed him, pulling his hand around her waist. Her lips were soft, and her hair smelled like honey. Ellie pulled back just slightly, looking in to George's eyes. He smiled and ran one hand up and down her back. "I'm pretty sure the Space Needle can wait." Ellie giggled and then let him pull her in for a second kiss.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie and George walked in to the hospital together, their fingers still intertwined. They'd made it to the Space Needle, but not until they'd spent almost an hour in the park, kissing and watching the water. Now Ellie was hoping Addison and Derek wouldn't mind George coming to dinner with them.

"Hey." Addison smiled as Ellie and George headed towards her. She couldn't help but notice the grin on her best friends face. "How was your day?"

"Good." Ellie said, squeezing George's hand. "Really good. Can I talk to you for a second?" Addison nodded and Ellie let go of George's hand and led Addison down the hall.

"What's up?"

"Uh…would you and Derek mind if George joined us for dinner? I…it's okay if not, because I haven't mentioned it to him so it's not like he's expecting it…"

Addison grinned. "Ellie, it's fine."

Ellie smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Ellie grinned like a teenager and headed back down the hall, only to run in to George and Derek talking. "Hi."

"Hey." Derek smiled. Ellie gripped George's hand and he looked over at Addison, who was grinning herself. "How are you?"

"Good." Ellie said, leaning against George. "George, you want to join us for dinner?"

"Uh…" George looked from Ellie to Addison to Derek, unsure of what to say.

"O'Malley, it's fine." Derek said, leaning against the wall and stretching his hand out to Addison. "It'll be fun."

Addison took Derek's hand and nodded. "George, you should come."

He nodded. "Okay, sure."

"Great." Addison said, looking at Ellie, who was smiling. "You guys ready?" Ellie and George nodded and followed Addison and Derek out of the hospital.

"Are you sure this is okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah, George. It'll be good."

He nodded. "Okay."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

"Whatever. You did not."

"I did!" Ellie said, leaning against George. "Derek will tell you."

Derek looked at his wife and nodded. "It's true, _Bella_, she did. She chased him down the hall and through the hospital." Derek laughed. "It was ridiculous."

"I wish I had seen it." Addison said.

Ellie shook her head. "No, you don't. Because watching me slide in to an OR while there was a surgery going on and crash in to the chief is not something you want to see."

"I guess…I missed why you were chasing Jason." Addison said, laughing.

"Oh, well, you see…he had taken a surgery I wanted the day before, so when I got the brain surgery Derek was going to be performing that afternoon, which he wanted, I rubbed it in. Because that's what we do to each other." Ellie laughed. "Then he made some comment about me only getting the surgery because you were my best friend, and, long story short, he made a comment about me getting through medical school on my mothers name and me getting through my residency through you, and I went to smack him and he ran. So I ran after him."

Addison laughed. "Only you would chase someone through the hospital."

"Uh…" Ellie pointed to Derek and gave Addison an 'excuse me?' look.

"Okay, yeah, so you and Derek. But you're both insane." Addison looked over at George, who was watching the exchange with intrigue. "You alright George?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm just processing. The amount of things you guys did…where were you when that happened anyway?"

"Oh…I was performing a surgery in Los Angeles on twins that were joined at the hip and waist."

George nodded. "Gotcha."

"They were gone a lot. Performing surgeries in other cities, other countries…" Ellie grinned. "But it made them famous."

Derek rolled his eyes. "We are not going to spend time talking about Addison's and my fame, are we? George doesn't want to hear about that…"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I was just saying."

"Actually, I was wondering where the nicknames came from." George said, looking at Ellie.

"Nicknames?"

"Yeah. I heard Addison call you _Sorella_, Derek just called her _Bella_, and you called Alex an _Abruti_ this morning…"

"You used that?" Addison asked her eyes wide.

"Yeah…why not? It's sounds better than actually saying moron."

"That's what it means?" George asked. Ellie nodded. "That's awesome. I'm going to have to remember that."

"_Abruti_ is moron in French, and then _Cretino_ is moron in Italian."

George smiled. "That's hilarious. So why…?"

Addison smiled. "In 2002, Ellie, Mark, Derek and I went to Italy and France on a three week vacation. We sort of picked up on the lingo." Ellie stared at Addison. "What?"

"The _lingo_? Seriously?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You know what I mean."

Ellie shook her head and turned to George. "She's not even 40 yet and she talks like she's from the golden age. Who the hell says lingo?" Derek and George both burst in to laughter.

Addison glared. "Not funny."

"I thought it was." Ellie looked from George to Derek. "They thought it was."

"You just wait. Tomorrow…"

"What's tomorrow?" George asked. Ellie glared and Addison grimaced. "What?"

"Nothing." Ellie snapped. "Tomorrow is nothing."

Derek's head snapped up. "No. No…Addison, you've got to be kidding me."

Addison looked at him, an innocent look on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Damn it." Derek threw his napkin on the table and stood. "I…I'm not coming to work tomorrow." He turned and headed towards the bathroom and Ellie threw her napkin at Addison.

"Way to go stupid."

"Sorry…"

"What's going on?" George asked, very confused.

"I'll fill you in later." Ellie grinned. "Let's just say Derek's going to be trying to get in to every surgery possible tomorrow."

* * *

**11:30 P.M.**

"M. I. Day?" George asked, laughing.

"Yeah. It's freaking hilarious. You'll just have to see…I can't describe it…"

George smiled and leaned in to the couch. "I'm sure it's hilarious. Hey…did you guys exchange Day 6 gifts?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." Ellie reached in to her purse and pulled out a small box. "She gave me this Rolex watch, because I've needed a new one for ages, and I got her a new pair of Jimmy Choos, which I'll be borrowing so it's kind of a win-win on that one."

George nodded. "So, uh…it's almost midnight and we both have to be at the hospital at 7 tomorrow…"

"Are you trying to get me in to bed George O'Malley?"

"What?" George's face turned red. "No…"

Ellie laughed. "It's okay, George. I kind of can't sneak in to Izzie's room to sleep now anyway because she's been asleep for awhile which means she's sprawled out all over the bed…so I guess I have to sleep in your bed." She grinned. "As long as you don't mind."

"Me? Mind?" George shook his head and stood up. "Not at all."

**I hope you liked it! Reviews make me smile! 2 and a half hours till _Grey's_!**


	13. Mission Impossible

**Guess what….it's M. I. Day!**

**Hehe…okay, so before that happens, Derek ALMOST revoked his McAsshole status on Sunday during the moment between him and Addison, right? And then he went and did something ridiculous like hang out with Meredith Grey when he shouldn't…grrr….**

**Chapter Title: "Mission Impossible" by Batmobile…YES, there is actually a song called Mission Impossible. There are a couple.**

**Half Love**

"**Mission Impossible"**

_That I am out on a mission  
__Mission Impossible  
__Mission Impossible it seems to be, mission Impossible it seems to me  
__Check it out –  
_"_Mission Impossible"  
__By Batmobile_

**February 7th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

"I'm not coming in this morning, Chief."

"Shepherd…"

"You don't understand." Derek leaned against the pillows in bed and listened to Addison pull away. "Something is going to happen today…"

"Shepherd, I know what's going to happen. You're coming in. You have a contract, damn it, and you're not going to not show up because you're afraid of your wife and her best friend."

Derek sighed. "Richard…you don't understand…"

"No, I understand. You're afraid of Addie. It's okay, I get it. I'll just let Preston know that he's closer to being Chief…he's not afraid of Cristina."

"He should be. I'm afraid of Cristina." Richard laughed. "Look, I'll work on Tuesday. I'm supposed to take it off because it's Valentines Day, but…"

"No. You're not working on Valentines Day. I know how you and Addison are on Valentines Day, and I am not risking my interns getting scarred because she shows up and you can't keep your hands off each other. You're coming in today, or Preston really will be closer to being Chief."

Derek sighed. "Fine. But I'm not going to be very much help. I'm not risking getting soaked. I'll be hiding a lot."

"No you won't. You'll be observing the day like any normal day, Derek. If they get out of hand, I'll talk to them, but you are not going to look like a chicken shit and hide all day long. You're expected in here in one hour. I expect to see your face." Richard hung up the phone and Derek threw his at the wall.

"Damn it!" The phone hit the wall and split, causing Derek to jump and Doc to let out a loud yelp. "Sorry, boy." Derek swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. "Come on, I'll take you outside." Derek slipped on shoes and followed Doc out on to the property. "This is going to be a long day."

* * *

Ellie ducked in to the interns locker room, taking a deep breath. 

"What in the hell are you doing?" Izzie asked, noticing that Ellie was dressed in all black. "Holy Crap…are you dressed all in black in _designer_ clothes?"

Ellie looked down at herself. "Uh…yeah."

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"Um…Armani Exchange Cuffed Trousers, Jimmy Choo Doe Suede Pumps and a Ralph Lauren Cashmere Off-Shoulder sweater. Why?"

"You're going to risk getting those clothes wet?"

"These are old, Izzie."

Izzie stared. "They're old? Are you kidding?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. These shoes are last season, and I've had this sweater since October and the pants since September."

"That doesn't exactly constitute old, Ellie."

Ellie shrugged. "Uh…yeah. It does."

"If only I could afford to do that."

Ellie smiled. "One day, you'll be able to. Besides, the only thing that can't really get wet is the sweater, and I've got a long-sleeved tee on underneath."

"So you're going to take off the sweater?"

"Eventually."

Izzie shook her head. "So…you're risking getting a cashmere sweater wet, and you're going to run from Addison in Jimmy Choo pumps?"

"No. I'm not going to run. We don't chase each other down the hall, Izzie. We're not 12."

Izzie stared. "Uh…" She laughed. "Okay, sure."

Ellie grinned. "We're childish, but we're not children. We're not going to chase each other down the hall in heels. Will we shoot water guns at each other whenever we get the chance? Yes, but we won't chase each other."

Izzie nodded. "Sure." Izzie shut her locker and joined Ellie at the door. "So…you never showed up in my room last night."

"That sounded so much like a pick-up line it was scary."

Izzie laughed. "You know what I mean."

"George and I got home from dinner with the Shepherds at almost midnight, and you were asleep, so I just stayed in his room."

Izzie grinned. "You just slept?"

"I didn't have sex with George, Izzie. And even if I had…I'm most certainly not going to tell you."

Izzie laughed. "Okay, sure." Izzie looked from Ellie to the door and sighed. "I have to go to work, so I have to leave this room. Can I do that without getting soaked?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Addison isn't even here yet. I'm waiting for her."

Izzie rolled her eyes. "Uh…okay, sure. I'll see you later." Izzie opened the door and paused. "Am I in any danger today?"

Ellie laughed. "No. If Addison and I get anyone but each other we'll get Derek. Don't worry about it."

Izzie nodded. "Okay. I'll see you around."

"Sure thing."

* * *

**8:00 A.M.**

Derek snuck in to the hospital, his heart beating. He hated M. I. Day. There was nothing fun about it for him. He knew that Addison and Ellie liked it, mostly because they liked chasing him, but he hated it. It was why he had destroyed their water guns last year. He and Mark had snuck in to the locker room while they were in a surgery, broken in to their lockers, and smashed the water guns. Both women were livid, but it saved Derek and Mark from getting soaked the whole day. Unfortunately, he didn't even know where Addison's locker was, he was pretty sure Ellie didn't have one, and even if he found the water guns, he could almost guarantee they had backups this year.

"Dr. Shepherd?" George came down the hall smiling as Derek came slowly down the hall. "Are you alright?"

"It's M. I. Day." He whispered, flattening himself against the wall. "I _hate_ M. I. Day."

George laughed. "Take it easy, Dr. Shepherd. I'm with you on this one. I've already been shot at."

Derek raised one eyebrow. "Really?" George nodded and turned around, a large wet spot on the back of his coat. "Oh my god. Which one of them hit you?"

George laughed. "Addison. She's got pretty good aim. She missed a little and hit Alex too, but she's got pretty good aim."

Derek nodded. "Yeah, she does. Ellie's better though. In 9 years she hasn't missed a single shot."

"9 years? I thought the Thirteen Days has been going on for 11 years."

"It has, but Mission Impossible didn't come out until the summer of 1996, so they didn't start M. I. Day until 1997."

George nodded. "Gotcha. So I should watch out for Ellie, then?"

Derek shook his head. "Watch out for both of them." Derek sighed. "We have to stick together, O'Malley."

George nodded. "Okay. But no more of the 'O'Malley', Dr. Shepherd. Either Dr. O'Malley or George. Please."

Derek nodded and pointed to himself. "Derek. If you're going to be dating my wifes best friend, you're going to have to call me Derek."

George nodded. "Okay."

"Are you ready for this?"

George sighed. "As ready as I can be."

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie tiptoed down the hall, just about 15 feet behind Addison, who was walking with Dr. Webber. If Ellie could aim correctly, she could hit Addison without hitting Dr. Webber, but she had to be careful.

"Hey." Cristina came up next to Ellie, causing her to jump.

"Sssshhh." Ellie whispered. "I'm trying to hit Addison."

"I know." Cristina whispered. "I want to see it."

Ellie smiled. "Just be quiet. And when I duck behind a door or around a corner, you'd better duck with me."

"Okay." Cristina and Ellie followed them closely, and just as Addison and Dr. Webber started to round the corner, Ellie lifted the pistol shaped gun, took aim, and pulled the trigger. A stream of water hit Addison in the upper back, and both Ellie and Cristina ducked in to the nearest room.

"Damn it." Addison said, involuntarily shivering from the blast of cold water. "I haven't even gotten her yet, and she's hit me twice."

Richard laughed. "Didn't you get George?"

"Yeah. But George doesn't count for as many points."

Richard stared. "There are points?"

Addison smiled. "Of course there are points. Who do you think we are?"

"How do you keep track?"

"It's 20 points for each hit on one another before noon, 15 points after noon." Richard raised his eyebrows. "Because it's colder in the morning."

"Right."

"Then, it's 10 points for each hit on Derek or George before noon, and 5 points after noon."

"When did George get involved?"

"Well, first it was just Derek, and then when she started dating Mark, it was Derek and Mark, and now that she and George are kind of a thing…" Richard raised his eyebrows. "You didn't know that yet, did you?"

"Well…how long have they been a thing?"

Addison shrugged. "Like a day." Richard stared. "What?"

"Did you just spill the beans on their relationship?"

Addison shrugged. "Probably."

Richard shook his head. "You're ridiculous."

Addison smiled. "If you say so."

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

"What's the score?" Meredith asked, coming up behind Ellie in the womens bathroom, where the scoreboard was posted on the side of a stall.

"I've got 40 points, and she has 30. Only she hasn't hit me yet, she's just hit George twice and Derek once. I got her twice."

Meredith grinned. "So you're like double winning."

Ellie nodded. "Pretty much."

"Well, I need your help on a case." Ellie nodded and followed Meredith out of the bathroom. What she didn't know was that Addison was waiting down the hall, and came slowly up behind them. Meredith had helped her set it up, which still surprised Addison, but she certainly didn't have anything against working with Grey on something like this. As Ellie and Meredith headed towards a room, Addison pumped the multi-colored water gun, took aim, and pulled the trigger. The stream of water hit Ellie in the middle of her back, causing her to shriek and spin around. Addison had disappeared, in accordance to tradition, and Ellie slammed against the wall.

"Damn it. Ugh…that's cold water." Meredith grinned. "You helped her!" Meredith smiled. "Uh! You suck!" Ellie turned her head away from Meredith and saw Derek coming down the hall, his head in a chart. "Oh…perfect." Ellie hit one knee, pulled a pistol shaped water gun out of her pocket it and took aim. The minute she pulled the trigger, Derek looked up, and the stream of water hit him straight between the eyes. "Score!" Ellie stood and Addison came out of the room across from her.

"That was perfect." Addison said, grinning.

Derek glared. "Hate. I hate both of you." Derek wiped his face and shook the water off his hand. "You both suck."

"10 points." Ellie said, grinning. "I may suck but I just got 10 points."

"Whatever. You won't be as happy when you get hit." Ellie smiled and spun around, the water spot from Addison gleaming on her back. "Oh."

"Yeah. I got hit. And I'm still just as happy." Ellie grinned and followed Meredith down the hall.

"That's twice. I've been hit twice." Derek said.

"Me too." Addison smiled. "It's not so bad, Derek."

He cringed. "Whatever you say."

Addison leaned against the wall. "Hey…you know what the best part about M. I. Day is?" Derek shook his head. "The Chief won't go looking for us." Derek raised one eyebrow,smiled,and let Addison take hold of his jacket and pull him in to the nearest room, a mischievous grin on her face.

**Okay I lied. Day Four isn't the only two-parter…this is also going to be a two-parter. Because I couldn't make you guys wait until I finished the whole thing. Let me know what you think so far and I'll update the rest as soon as I can. – Mel.**


	14. Mission Impossible Part Deux

**Thanks for all the reviews…**

**I used the same song cuz I can and finding a different one seemed pointless.**

**Half Love**

"**Mission Impossible" Part Deux**

_That I am out on a mission  
__Mission Impossible  
__Mission Impossible it seems to be,  
__Mission Impossible it seems to me  
__Check it out –  
_"_Mission Impossible"  
__By Batmobile_

**11:00 A.M.**

"Score?"

"60 to 50."

"Who's winning?"

"Addison is." Ellie said, sighing. "She hit George again."

"Poor George." Izzie said, following Ellie out of the bathroom.

"I guess."

Izzie laughed. "You're mad because she's winning, aren't you?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

Izzie shrugged. "I guess." Ellie smiled and put one finger to her lips as George came out of a patient's room. He was walking away from them, so Ellie took aim, but before she could pull the trigger, a stream of water hit her in the side. Ellie jumped and accidentally pulled the trigger, but her aim was now off, and she hit Meredith as she was coming around the corner.

"No." Ellie hissed, dropping the gun. "Damn it. 9 years. 9 years!"

"9 years?" Izzie asked as George went to find Meredith a towel.

"In the 9 years we've been doing this, I haven't once had bad aim; I haven't once hit the wrong person. Damn it!" Ellie picked up the water gun and shoved it in her coat pocket. "It's an automatic 5 point deduction if you hit someone not on the list and another 15 points if you completely miss the person you were aiming for." Ellie kicked the wall and turned to Addison, who was leaning in the doorway of an empty room. "You suck."

"Aren't you even worried about your sister?" Addison asked one hand on her hip.

Ellie turned to look at Meredith, who had a towel pressed against her upper chest and neck. "She's fine. Besides, she totally deserved it, she set me up earlier."

Addison shrugged. "Whatever. You get off at six tonight, right?" Ellie nodded. "Good. That means that half-time is in one hour. And since the score is now 80 to 30..." Addison smirked. "My suggestion is that you catch up."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Meredith leaned against the sink, still a little shocked that she was involved in this. "Half time." She said, grinning at Ellie. "The final score for the first half is 110 to 100. Advantage goes to Eliot Grey."

"What? No…I want justification." Addison snapped. "There's no way…"

"Okay, okay…justification…" Izzie stepped up to the score board. "Addison Shepherd hit Derek Shepherd twice, George O'Malley twice, and Eliot Grey three times for a total of 100 points. Eliot Grey hit Derek Shepherd three times, George O'Malley twice, and Addison Shepherd four times for a total of 130 points. Grey received a penalty of 20 points for hitting Meredith Grey in the upper neck and chest, bringing her final total to 110 points."

"Damn." Addison turned to Ellie. "I didn't actually want you to catch up with me."

Ellie smiled. "Then don't suggest it." Addison made a face and Ellie laughed. "You still have the second half.

"You'd better watch yourself next half."

Izzie laughed as Ellie stepped back, lifting her arms in a 'bring it on' fashion. "Okay…water guns." She said, holding out her hands. "You'll get them back at one o'clock."

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Why are you taking our guns? We can certainly control ourselves."

"Against each other, sure." Meredith said, grinning. "But George and Derek have asked that we confiscate them."

"But…"

"They just want a break." Izzie said. "Derek was soaked the last time I saw him. Just give them an hour break."

Addison rolled her eyes and handed Izzie the two water guns she was carrying. "This is ridiculous."

"Addie, it's only an hour." Ellie said, handing her two water guns to Meredith. "It's not a big deal."

Addison sighed. "Fine. You want to get lunch?"

"Yeah. Iz?"

Izzie shrugged. "I've got a patient to check on but I might show up after."

"Okay." Ellie followed Addison out of the bathroom, leaving Ellie and Meredith alone.

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Izzie laughed. "You really want to eat lunch with Addison Shepherd?"

Meredith made a face. "No."

"Well there you go then."

Meredith nodded. "You know they're going to kill us for this, right?"

Izzie nodded. "Yeah."

* * *

Alex and Cristina were seated together at a table when Ellie came up to the table, a tray in each hand. 

"Mind if I sit?"

Alex shook his head. "All that ducking and shooting made you pretty hungry…"

Ellie laughed. "One is for Addison. She's getting back-ups."

"Back-ups?" Cristina asked as Ellie sat down.

"Yeah. Meredith and Izzie took our water guns since it's half-time, but Addison swears that they're going to give them to Derek and George, so she wanted back-ups."

"Gotcha."

"What do you find so interesting about acting like children?" Alex asked.

"I don't know." Ellie said, taking the bite of the sandwich from one tray and pouring salad dressing on the salad that was on the other tray. "It makes us more comfortable. Some surgical wards are so stuffy."

"I guess." Alex watched as Ellie put half the sandwich in the lid of the salad container and scooped half of the salad on to the sandwich plate. "What are you doing?"

"Splitting the food." Alex cocked one eyebrow. "We do it all the time. Addison will never eat the whole salad and I wont be able to finish a whole sandwich."

"You two are like an old married couple." Alex said as Addison reached the table.

"Who's like an old married couple?" Addison asked, sitting down and taking one of the trays while sliding Ellie two water guns.

"You two." Alex said.

Addison laughed. "I guess you could say that. We're pretty much as close as two straight women can get." Alex laughed. "Can you two keep an eye out for Derek and George for us?"

"Sure." Alex said. Cristina nodded in agreement.

"Thanks."

"So, how about some more stories?" Cristina asked, grinning.

"About what?"

Before Cristina could say anything, Alex's eyes widened. "Go!" He hissed, looking behind Ellie and Addison. Both women spun around, water guns in hand, only to be hit by streams of water. Ellie stuck her arm up so that she could see George, took aim and hit him in the chest. The stream of water closest to her face stopped and she stood, aiming one gun at George's chest and one near his face.

"You wanna go?" George asked, grinning.

"Bring it on, _cretino_." George cocked one eyebrow and pulled the trigger at the same time that Ellie did.

"How did you get Stevens and Grey to agree to take our water guns?" Addison asked, both water guns pointed at Derek.

"The promise of scrubbing in on my next two surgeries."

Addison stood, taking a step towards Derek. "That's pretty low, Derek." She took a step to her right, and he stepped to his.

"Why? I like seeing you wet." Addison glared, Derek laughed, and they managed to pull the trigger at the same time.

Richard came in to the cafeteria, talking to Burke, unaware of what was going on.

"What the hell…?" Burke stopped and stared at the sight before them.

"Oh no…" Richard shook his head and looked down, then jumped when he heard a shriek. Ellie's heels slipped on all the water that was on the floor, and she began to fall. Her hand reached out for something to hold on to, and she ended up taking Derek down with her. All water guns stopped, and Addison and George's laughter rang out in the cafeteria. Ellie and Derek looked at each other, and then at Addison and George, and burst in to laughter as well.

George knelt down next to Ellie as Addison helped Derek stand. "Are you okay?"

"Mmmhmmm…" Ellie nodded and pulled George close to her by the collar of his wet coat, kissing his water drenched lips and running her fingers through his soaking wet hair.

"Are you alright?" Addison asked as she helped Derek to his feet.

"Yeah. I'm good." Derek leaned in and kissed her, running his hands through her hair and over her back, making her already clingy black clothes cling to her body even more.

Cristina and Alex, both of whom had been laughing, sobered when they saw Meredith standing with Izzie on the other side of the room, an upset look on her face.

"Oh no." Cristina whispered.

"Which one is she upset about?" Alex asked, watching as Addison and Derek were leaving hand-in-hand, and George helped Ellie to her feet and then led her out of the room, his arm around her.

"I don't know." Cristina said, watching Meredith storm out of the cafeteria. "I just know it's going to be bad."

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

"Why didn't they just tell me?" Meredith asked as she and Izzie stood waiting for an ambulance that was on its way.

"It just happened like yesterday, Meredith. Give them a break."

"I just would have rather they told me. And seeing McDreamy kissing _her_ in the middle of the cafeteria didn't exactly help."

Izzie rolled her eyes as the ambulance pulled up and they flung open the doors. "What have we got?"

"Car accident, caused by the guy coming in the next ambulance. She's 4 months pregnant, and completely stable, but the baby…"

Izzie nodded. "Meredith, you take this one. I'll wait." Meredith nodded and took the young woman in to the hospital.

"What've we got?" Ellie asked, catching up with Meredith. She was still unaware that Meredith had been at the scene in the cafeteria.

"You're not cleared." Meredith snapped.

"I'm not cleared for surgery Dr. Grey. What've we got?"

Meredith sighed. "Car accident…she's stable, but she's 4 months pregnant."

"Okay. Push one of Demerol, get an ultrasound machine, and page Addison Shepherd." Ellie headed for the other gurney as Meredith followed her orders. As Meredith picked up the phone to page Addison she heard Ellie yell, "Someone call Derek Shepherd!"

* * *

"She's not cleared." 

"Addison, I need her in this surgery." Derek said as he scrubbed his arms. "You have to clear her."

"There are plenty of other surgeons."

"Addie, she knows how to do this procedure. I don't have the time, or the patience, to teach someone else right now."

Addison sighed. "Derek…"

"Addison." Richard came in to the room as Addison tied Derek's mask on. "Clear Grey."

"Richard, she just got out of the hospital."

"I know, but she knows this procedure and Derek needs her in there." Richard shoved the paperwork at Addison. "Clear her."

Addison sighed. "Fine."

Derek let out a held in breath. "Thank God." He pushed backwards through the door and made eye contact with Ellie. "Scrub in." He said, backing in to the OR. Ellie raced in to the other room and began to scrub her arms.

Addison helped Ellie tie her mask on as Ellie dried her arms. "Thank you." Ellie said, her voice slightly muffled.

"Yeah, well, you owe me."

Ellie smiled with her eyes as she backed out of the room. "I'll give you free aim."

Addison laughed as Ellie left, and then turned to Richard. "I can't believe you made me do that."

"She knows how to do this procedure, Addie. This guy would die if Derek had to take the time to teach someone new how to fix decerebration on this guys cerebrum."

Addison sighed. "I know, but I was very clear about her not being cleared until the ninth, and…"

Richard grinned. "Addison, think about it this way…she gave you free aim."

**4:00 P.M.**

"Richard, please…"

"Derek…"

"You have to let me scrub in on this surgery."

"It's a cardiac surgery, Derek. You don't need to be in there."

"You don't understand. It's crunch time. There are only two hours left. I'm going to get soaked."

Richard sighed. "You can sit in the observation deck, but there's no reason for you to scrub in."

"The observation deck isn't going to do me any good. They can still hit me in there!"

Richard laughed. "I'm not letting you scrub in on a cardiac surgery, so you can either hang out in the observation deck or run through the halls hiding from them. Your choice."

Derek sighed and left Richards office, only to run directly in to Ellie. "Please, don't shoot."

Ellie laughed. "I'm not going to shoot. I don't even have my water guns. I had to give Addison free aim for the last half an hour."

"Why?"

"Because she cleared me for surgery two days before she should have."

Derek nodded. "Well thank God she did. I don't know what I would have done if it were just Meredith and I in that OR."

Ellie smiled. "She's a good surgeon, Derek."

He looked taken aback. "I didn't say she wasn't. But she doesn't know how to fix decerebration, and you do."

"Only because you taught me."

Derek smiled. "This is true. Hey, so what was going on with you two? She wouldn't talk to you afterwards."

"I know." Ellie sighed. "I just got her to talk to me like 5 minutes ago. She was upset that I didn't tell her about George."

Derek raised one eyebrow. "Really?"

Ellie nodded as they continued down the hall. "That's what she said, but I think she doesn't like that I'm dating one of her friends. I think she thinks that Addison and I are going to turn him against her or something."

Derek laughed. "Sometimes she's so…"

"What?" Meredith walked out of a patients room, stopping Ellie and Derek in their tracks. "Sometimes I'm so what?"

Derek made a face. "Nothing. I wasn't going to say anything. I didn't have a word to stick there."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I don't think you're going to corrupt George." She said, turning to Ellie. "I think you and he are good together."

Ellie sighed. "But you think Addisons going to corrupt him, don't you?"

Meredith leaned against the wall. "Can you blame me?"

"Yeah. There's no reason for you to think that." Ellie sighed. "If anyone's going to corrupt George it's you."

"What does that mean?" Meredith snapped. Derek was beginning to get very uncomfortable, and started to inch away, unnoticed.

"It means that all you ever do is talk about other people. George thought that Derek was horrible, he thought that Addison was Satan, and if I hadn't convinced him otherwise, he'd still think that." Ellie sighed. "You don't give George the chance to get to know other people. You baby him like he's naïve and your little brother, and he's not!"

Derek turned around and began to head the other direction when he ran in to Addison. "Don't shoot me." He whispered, steering her away from Ellie and Meredith. "And you don't want to go down there."

"I have to check on a patient. And I wasn't going to shoot you."

"Find another way to check on your patient. You do not want to walk past them."

"Who?"

Derek leaned against the wall. "Eliot and Meredith."

Addison looked down the hall. "What's going on?"

"You making out with George in the middle of the cafeteria was not how I wanted to find out!"

"I wasn't making out with George!"

"And the four of you were soaking wet and making fools of yourselves…"

Ellie cleared her throat. "First of all, do not drag Addison and Derek in to this. This is about you and me. Second…we like making fools of ourselves, and third, what do you care if we were in the middle of the cafeteria soaking wet?"

"This is my hospital, Ellie. I was here first, and how am I supposed to maintain respect if my older sister is having water gun fights?"

Ellie sighed. "Uh, one, I was having a water gun fight with an attending, and she was making as big of a fool of herself as I was, and two, you never had respect in this hospital. You walked in here the daughter of a world-renowned surgeon, which is the only reason you got here in the first place, and then you lost any respect you would have had when you slept with Derek!" Meredith stared, and Derek and Addison looked at each other. "You know I'm right, Meredith. And then you made it worse by acting like a twelve year old whenever you were around him once you found out about Addison."

"What would you have done, huh?"

Ellie shook her head. "I wouldn't have slept with my attending."

"What about Mark?"

Ellie cringed. "Mark is a plastic surgeon. He's not my attending."

"I didn't know Derek was my attending."

"Not at first. But that didn't stop you once you found out, did it?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "What is your problem? When I first told you about him you were really excited for me! Even once you knew his name…"

Ellie looked down. "Yeah, at first I was happy for you. And when I found out his name…" Ellie sighed. "I wanted to hurt Addison. I hated her, damn it. She had hurt me, and god damn it if she wasn't going to get her heart broken." Ellie swallowed hard, still unaware that Addison was down the hall. "But then I realized that hurting her wasn't going to fix what she did. That's when I told myself that being mad at the person that meant the most to me was just going to make my life miserable, and I promised myself that I would forgive her." Ellie took a shaky breath. "I don't really want to discuss this with you, and I have to get back to work. We'll have to finish it at home."

"No, we won't." Meredith said, taking a deep breath. "I can't…you're dating one of my best friends, and your best friend stole everything from me…"

"She didn't steal anything. It was hers in the first place!"

"Not the dog."

"You gave her the dog, you idiot!"

"That's not the point. She has everything I want, including a good relationship with you, and I can't deal with it right now. I need you to stay somewhere else."

"Where exactly do you suggest I go?"

Meredith sighed. "I don't know. You grew up here. You'll find somewhere to go." Meredith turned and walked down the hall, leaving Ellie standing alone in the hallway.

"I don't…should I…?" Addison looked at Derek, an upset look on her face. "Do I go talk to her?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not sure she'll want to talk to you."

Ellie came walking down the hallway slowly, trying to regain her composure. "I didn't realize you were here." She said, looking Addison in the eye. "I didn't…"

Addison shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"I need to go home, and pack up my stuff…and find somewhere to stay…Meredith gets off at 6, so I should really do it now…"

"Go." Derek said, putting one hand on her arm. "Go home, get your stuff, find a place to stay, and get some sleep. I'll let Richard know, and…call one of us when you've found a place. We'll want to know where you are…and so will George."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." Ellie took a deep, shaky breath. "Oh god…I have George's car…I can't…"

"He'll understand." Addison said. "And one of us will take him to wherever you're staying if he really wants it."

"Okay." Ellie sighed. "I don't really want to end M. I. Day early, but…" Ellie grinned. "I guess that means you win. For the first time in 6 consecutive years."

Addison laughed. "We'll call it a draw, okay?"

"Sure. Your day six gift is in George's car…"

"Later. We'll do it later. Take care of what you need to take care of, and we'll talk later, okay?" Ellie nodded and headed down the hallway towards the locker room. "El?" She turned around, her eyes brimming with tears. "I…" Addison couldn't put anything to words, so she walked up to Ellie and wrapped her in a hug.

"I'm sorry." Ellie whispered, her head buried in Addisons shoulder.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for." Ellie looked up at Addison. "There isn't." Ellie nodded, the tears finally coming down her cheeks. "Call me when you figure out where you're staying, and we'll talk, okay?" Ellie nodded and left, her head down.

"Addie?" Derek came up behind her and placed one hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I hurt her so much…" Addison turned to look at him. "I know I hurt you, and, this is no excuse, but it's like I told Meredith, desperate people do desperate things to get attention…but I never even thought…"

Derek nodded. "I know. Desperate people don't tend to think."

"I wanted your attention. And it killed her." Addison looked down and Derek pulled her in to a hug. "I'm so sorry Derek…"

"You've already apologized to me, Addie. And I'm getting closer and closer to forgiving you every day. It's Ellie you need to talk to." Addison nodded as Derek stepped back. "And I'm going to go talk to George. Hopefully before Meredith gets to him."

**Well, I hope you guys liked it. I know the ending was kind of depressing, but I needed to get Ellie out of Merediths house…plus the rest of it was good, right? Uh…I hope so…review please! – Mel.**

**P.S. Decerebration is the progressive loss of cerebral function; advanced decerebration occurs with severe damage to the cerebrum, the largest part of the brain. I'm not sure that can happen in a car accident, but I figure if the cerebrum gets hit hard enough then maybe…whatev.**


	15. Follow If You Lead

**WOW. The reaction I got from the last chapter was amazing. Thanks so much. Seriously. I love you guys!**

**Oh, and thanks mucho to Kendel17 for the M. I. Day idea. It freaking rocked.**

**Chapter Title: "Follow If You Lead" by Idina Menzel**

**Half Love**

"**Follow If You Lead"**

_It's your gravity and your hot air balloons  
__That keep you real and dare to dream with you  
__That when they pull you too far  
__You must learn to forgive and ask your heart  
__Will I lose a friend  
__Striving to contend?  
__Will I destroy this trust  
__When I want the best for us?  
__Should I hold your hand  
__No matter what you plan?  
__For every hour you need  
__I will follow if you lead... –  
_"_Follow If You Lead"  
__By Idina Menzel_

**February 8th, 2006**

**4:00 A.M.**

_Ellie sat on the couch in her living room, staring at the empty screen of the television. She'd been there for almost two hours, and even though the remote was sitting right next to her, she didn't really feel like turning it on. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and Ellie hadn't slept in almost two weeks. Her nightmares were coming back, and every time she closed her eyes she kept picturing Mark and Addison together, and it was driving her crazy. Derek had been staying with her, but he'd had to go the hospital that day for something, and he still wasn't back yet. A knock came on the door, and even though Ellie didn't really want to see anyone, the silence was driving her nuts._

"_Oh god." She groaned, opening the door. Addison was leaning against the railing across from Ellie's door, a sad look on her face._

"_You won't talk to me."_

_Ellie rolled her eyes. "That surprises you?" Addison stood and walked towards the door. "What are you doing here?"_

"_Well, I want to talk to you, but I was also wondering if you'd seen Derek."_

"_He's at the hospital."_

_Addison shook her head. "Jim said he came in this morning for about an hour and then left. I thought he would be here."_

_Ellie shrugged. "I don't know where he went. We drank all the alcohol in my house, so he might've gone to a bar or something."_

"_Can I at least come in and talk to you?"_

_Ellie looked down, seriously contemplating shutting the door in Addisons face, but she figured she might as well give her a chance. "I guess so." Addison smiled and walked through the doorway. Ellie shut it and leaned against it as Addison sat down on the couch. "Alright, what?"_

"_I just…I'm sorry, Ellie."_

_Ellie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I heard that from you already. What else have you got?" Addison stared. "Some sorry excuse? Huh? You know, I can understand the lonely thing, wanting someone to hold on to, but why you didn't just make Derek sit down and talk to you, I'll never understand. And why you chose Mark…" Ellie took a deep breath. "What the fuck were you thinking?"_

"_I wasn't." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Well, I wasn't!"_

"_Whatever."_

"_If you're not even going to listen to me, I don't even know why I showed up here."_

"_Me neither." Ellie snapped._

"_You've been having them again, haven't you?" Ellie sighed. "I'm not stupid, Eliot. I can tell that you haven't been sleeping. You walk around the hospital like a zombie, you explode on people…"_

"_I exploded on you because you're horrible! I don't explode on anyone else, because no one else cheated on their husband with their best friends boyfriend." Ellie sighed. "Besides, both Mark and Derek yelled at me for that."_

"_They did?"_

_Ellie sighed. "Yes, they did." Ellie leaned her head back against the door as the phone rang._

"_Hi, you've reached Eliot Grey. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can…"_

"_Eliot?" Both Ellie and Addisons heads jerked towards the machine as Derek's voice rang out through the apartment. "Kid, I know you're screening your calls because you don't really want to talk to anyone, but please pick up the phone. I need to talk to you…"_

_Ellie jumped for the cordless phone before Addison could grab it. "Derek?"_

"_Ellie…don't hate me."_

"_Hate you?" Addison raised one eyebrow at Ellie, who turned around so that she didn't have to face her. "Why would I hate you?"_

"_I…do you remember Richard?"_

"_Webber? Uh…yeah."_

"_He offered me a job."_

"_That's great Derek. Why would I…wait, doesn't he live in Seattle?"_

_Derek paused. "Yeah."_

"_Oh."_

"_I'm sorry. I just couldn't stay there anymore. Being around Mark and Addison made me sick…"_

"_So you left me to deal with them? Derek…"_

"_I'm sorry. It was killing me. I just needed to get out…"_

"_Whatever. Fine."_

"_You can't be mad at me. Please, Ellie…"_

"_I'm not mad at you."_

"_If it gets too bad you can just fly out here, okay?"_

"_Yeah. Sure."_

"_Okay. I have to go, I'm having dinner with Richard."_

"_Okay. Sure."_

"_Ellie…I love you. Remember that. You are my best friend."_

"_I love you too Derek. I'll talk to you later."_

"_Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and let out a sigh._

"_What's going on?"  
Ellie spun around. "You chased him away. He was the only thing I had left, and you chased him away. He couldn't even be around you."_

"_Ellie…where is he?"_

_Ellie shook her head. "I want you out of here. I'm standing by what I said the other day, I don't want to talk to you. Ever."_

_Addison stood as Ellie opened the door and Addison walked out in to the hallway. "Can you at least tell me where he is?"_

_Ellie sighed. "Seattle. He's in Seattle."_

Ellie jerked up in bed, tears streaming down her face. She was alone, so she let out a held in sob and threw a pillow at the wall.

"Damn it!" She said, keeping her voice to a minimum. She didn't want to wake up her new neighbors. Her cell phone was sitting on the bedside table, and when she looked at it, she saw that she had 6 new voicemails. "Shit. I forgot to call them." She said, picking up her phone and dialing her voicemail.

_"Ellie, it's George. Derek told me what happened…I can't believe Meredith kicked you out. God…look, call me when you can, I want to see you. Let me know where you are."_

_"Eliot. Please call me when you get this. Derek and I have been off for an hour and we still haven't heard from you, and it's starting to worry both of us. Let us know where you are, _sorella_."_

_"_Sorellina_…Addison's freaking out. You have to call one of us. It's almost 9:00 and she's called every hotel within a mile of the hospital, and she can't figure out which one you're at. Please…call us back. We're at home. Please."_

_"Ellie, I'm sitting in Joe's with Izzie and Cristina…they're worried about you too. I know Derek and Addison are looking for you…please call someone. Call Alex for all I care. I just want to know where you are…even Meredith's worried. Please call me."_

_"Ellie, it's Izzie. I know George like just called you, but he's starting to freak out. You have to call someone. No matter the time…just call someone."_

_"Eliot…it's Derek. It's almost 4:00…I'm still up, so is Addison. Please call us. Ellie…please."_

Ellie looked at the clock. "4:10…I guess I could call Derek…" Ellie reached over and picked up the hotel phone and dialed Derek and Addisons home number.

"You've reached Derek and Addison Shepherd…leave a message…"

"I'm sorry." Ellie said, her voice shaky. "I fell asleep. I know I freaked everyone out…"

"Ellie?" Addisons voice, tired and shaky came on the other end of the line.

"Addie…I'm sorry. I got checked in and then I fell asleep…"

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're okay." Addison took a deep breath. "Where are you?"

"The Sheraton on 6th…"

"I'm coming over."

"No. Addison, it's four in the morning. You haven't gotten any sleep."

"Yeah, I have. Derek made me sleep some…I got almost five hours…I've only been up twenty minutes. I'm coming over."

"Addie…"

"Ellie, do not fight me on this. Which room are you in?"

Ellie sighed. "2506."

"Okay. I'll be there soon."

"Okay."

Addison hung up the phone and sat down on the bed at Derek's feet. "Derek?"

"Mmmm…?" He groaned, his head buried under a pillow.

"She called. She's at the Sheraton. I'm going."

Derek sat up. "Okay…do you want me to come with you?"

Addison smiled, but shook her head. "No. The way she sounded, she'd just woken up, probably from a nightmare, and she and I need to talk anyway."

Derek nodded. "Okay. Call me if you need anything." Addison nodded and leaned in and kissed him before making her way out of the trailer and to her car.

* * *

Ellie opened the door to her hotel room and smiled. "Hey." 

"Hi." Addison wrapped her friend in a hug, taking a deep breath in. "How are you?"

"Okay."

Addison stepped back from the hug and shut the door. "Just okay?"

Ellie shrugged. "My sister just kicked me out, and I yelled at her in the middle of the hospital. I'm pretty sure 'okay' is about as good as I can get."

Addison sighed as Ellie sat down on the Queen sized bed and slammed her head in to the pillows. "Ellie…she'll get over it."

"I told her that no one respected her and that she was corrupting one of her best friends. That's not something you get over quickly."

"Ellie…" Addison took hold of Ellie's hand and pulled her in to a sitting position as Addison sat down on the bed. "Maybe you and Meredith not living in the same house would be a good thing for a while."

Ellie shrugged. "I guess. I just…we managed to survive two years together when we were teenagers, but living together for 10 days as adults has ripped us apart."

"When you two were teenagers, you weren't best friends with the wife of the man she was in love with."

Ellie smiled. "True."

Addison put her head down on the bed. "Have you talked to George?"

"It's four-thirty in the morning. Unlike you, he is not a crazy person, so he is more than likely asleep."

"Well, gee, thanks for the crazy person comment, but I think you should at least leave a message on his cell phone."

"I will."

"Now, Ellie."

Ellie sighed. "Jeez, _Mom_ calm down." Addison wrinkled her nose and threw a pillow at Ellie as she grabbed her cell phone to call George.

"Hello?"

"George? You're awake?"

"Ellie?"

"Yeah."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I fell asleep…I'm really sorry…I just got your messages a little while ago. I didn't mean to worry you…"

"No, it's okay. I'm just glad you're okay. I don't really know what happened though…Meredith isn't exactly talking to me, and Derek wouldn't explain it."

"It's kind of a long story, George. How about I tell you tomorrow when I get to work?"

"Okay. Are you alone? I don't want you to be alone."

"I'm not. Addison is here."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." Ellie hung up the phone and set it on the bed side table, and then turned to face Addison. "Happy?"

"Yes. Ecstatic." Ellie smirked and Addison laughed. "Are you up to talking?"

"About everything?" Addison nodded. "I guess. I won't sleep, so we might as well."

Addison sat up and leaned against the headboard. "How long do we have?"

Ellie looked at the clock. "I have to be at the hospital by 9:00, so roughly 4 hours. Think we'll be able to do it?"

Addison laughed. "I should hope so."

* * *

**5:00 A.M.**

"Remember the day we met? I was scared out of my mind, and you were so adamant about everything being perfect, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find you the right catering package…"

"I remember. You were shaking."

Ellie nodded. "Right up until you suggested we go out to lunch, and we started talking…I almost got fired that day, did I tell you that?"

"No, you didn't…why?"

"Because we were gone for almost two hours. Right before I left he called me in to his office and wanted to know what I had been doing. I told him I was with a client, and then I managed to convince him that we'd spent the whole lunch discussing business…although I'm not sure how."

"We went to lunch every day that week…Derek was freaking out because every day I left the hospital at noon and didn't show up until two o'clock, and he didn't understand…and then he met you."

Ellie laughed. "He'd already met me, he just didn't know it yet." Addison nodded. "We didn't mean to never tell you that, it just kind of slipped our minds."

"It's not a big deal."

"Obviously it is, because the other day you were so upset about it that we got in to an argument."

"We got in to an argument because you thought that I thought you were in love with Derek."

"You did think that I was in love with Derek."

"Well…I don't anymore."

"I still think you're lying."

"You said you got over it in a month…I don't think that's true."

"Why not?"

"Because you were always flirting with him. I never really noticed it then, but now that I think about it…"

"Do you realize how ridiculous you just sounded? I flirt with everyone! You know that…"

"Well I still think that there was something there…"

"Think what you want, you're being ridiculous…"

* * *

"You did not!" 

"Oh yeah." Addison said, sighing. "I tried to follow Derek that night, but I lost him in the process. Besides, it was almost midnight, and I figured if I went looking for him in all the right places the next morning, it would be easier to find him."

"Well, you found him."

"Did he come straight there?"

"I think so. He was drenched, and he looked like he was going to throw up when I opened the door. He tried to avoid telling me, too, but eventually I figured it out."

"How?"

"Well, I offered him some of Marks clothes to wear while he tossed his own in the dryer, and he refused so many times that I eventually realized that he didn't want anything that Mark had claim to near him."

Addison looked down. "Mark had claim to you."

"Right up until Derek told me that he'd found the two of you in bed together, sure. But after that…Mark had no claim to anything. I burned everything in my apartment that he owned."

"How long did Derek stay there?"

"Right up until the day he left. Where else was he supposed to go?"

"I don't know…I just didn't know if he'd been there the whole time."

"Yeah. He was there."

"Huh…"

"Oh my God." Ellie scoffed. "You think something happened, don't you?" Addison shrugged. "You're crazy."

"Well, you wanted to hurt me. I heard you tell Meredith that…"

"I wanted your heart broken, sure, but I wasn't going to do it myself. I'm not that kind of person. I would never hurt one of my friends."

"I didn't purposely hurt you, Ellie." Addison sighed. "You know that, right?"

"I guess…but Mark said…"

"You're going to believe Mark over me?"

Ellie shrugged. "I guess not."

"What exactly did he say?"

"He told me that the two of you thought that there was something going on between Derek and I, and that you turned to each other so that once something happened, you wouldn't get hurt as badly." Ellie looked down. "I just…I would never do that. Even if I was in love with Derek…he's married to you, so I wouldn't go anywhere near him."

Addison sighed. "I know that now, but then…Mark was someone to talk to, and I let him convince me that something was going on, because you two were always together…"

"I wish you had used your head, Addie. Derek and I were always together because he was the neurosurgical attending, and I was a neurosurgical resident. That pretty much meant that we were always together. Plus, he was teaching me all of the procedures that he knew because he figured there should be more than one surgeon in the hospital that knew how to do them."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Well it certainly makes more sense than Mark's theory."

"True story."

* * *

**6:00 A.M.**

"How bad were the nightmares?"

"Right after Derek and I found out?" Addison nodded. "Pretty bad. I had no idea what happened, so I kept reliving the night Derek and I found out, and then I kept picturing the two of you together…and then I had nightmares about Ellis, because she cheated on my Dad with Thatcher, and then cheated on Thatcher with Richard…"

Addison's eyes widened. "Really? How do you know that?"

"I got hit in the head with a baseball when I was probably 8 or so…and the ER concluded that I would need surgery because my brain was bleeding…but they wouldn't let Ellis even look at me because she was my mother. She only wanted Richard to look at me, and then after the surgery, when I was there for a few days, I'd see them together late at night, all over each other. They hid it well during the day but not at night…"

"Wow."

"Yeah, um, Richard doesn't know that I know, and Meredith knows Ellis cheated on Thatcher, but she doesn't know who with, so…"

"My lips are sealed."

Ellie smiled. "Good."

"So…after the affair…the nightmares got pretty bad?"

"The day Derek left…the day you showed up at my apartment?" Addison nodded. "I hadn't slept for more than 15 minutes a night for three weeks straight. It got worse once Derek left, because I would wake up crying and sweating, but freezing, and sometimes I was screaming…but there was no one there."

"Why didn't you say something to me?"

"Because I wasn't talking to you. And I was angry with you, and I wasn't willing to pull back from that because I wasn't sleeping well. They went away eventually."

"Do you know why?"

Ellie shook her head. "No."

"Are they bad now?"

Ellie shrugged. "They could be worse."

* * *

"Why did you start talking to me again?" 

"Because it was killing me not to. You know I wasn't sleeping very well, and with Derek in Seattle…I could talk to Savvy and Weiss, and Jason, and some of the other residents, but it wasn't the same. Especially since I would talk to Meredith all the time, but I couldn't tell her who I was talking about because they were together at this point, and it would have killed her."

"You know, I wish you had told me that your sister was dating my husband."

"I had just started talking to you again…how exactly was that supposed to come up? 'Hey, so we haven't talked in a long time, but as your former best friend, I thought you should know that your husband is being wooed by my younger sister'? Come on, Addie."

"You were never my former best friend."

"To me I was. Mostly because when people would ask why I wasn't with Mark anymore, I would try to say that we just weren't meant to be together, but no one ever bought that, so I eventually had to tell them that he had cheated on me. And had I said, 'with my best friend' people would have thought I was crazy for talking to you still." Ellie laughed. "Most of them already hated you though."

"What?" Addison gaped. "Why?"

"Because most of them were my college friends, and they hated that I pretty much ditched them whenever you or Derek called."

Addison laughed. "They do understand that you ditched us a lot for them, right?"

"Oh yeah, they know, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that I ditched my friends for a married couple 8 years my senior."

"You make it sound like you were hanging out with old people."

Ellie laughed. "Most of my friends were pre-med like I was, and when the two people I hung out with most were interns…it seemed like I was hanging out with old people. We were all so far from being interns…" Ellie shook her head. "Anyway, they just didn't like you."

"I don't think I ever really met any of them."

"Most of them, no, but Jason and I knew each other then…although Jason never really hated you, because…uh, never mind."

"No…why?"

Ellie laughed. "He had the biggest crush on you…it was really cute at first, but he was so mad when he realized that you were the Addison that I hung out with all the time, the one that was married to the hottest male doctor in the hospital."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "The hottest male doctor?"

Ellie gaped. "I never told you that?" Addison shook her head. "Oh man…there was no fun nickname, like McDreamy or anything, but the rest of the female interns melted whenever he walked in to the room. And then Jason was madly in love with you…" Ellie shook her head. "Man…I thought I had told you all of that."

Addison shook her head. "No. I had no idea that Jason felt that way about me, or that the others felt that way about Derek…"

"Oh…I have to tell you this. A couple of days ago, I heard Alex and Meredith talking…" Ellie laughed. "You snapped at Meredith, and she made some comment to Alex about not understanding what both Derek and Mark saw in you…and then Alex said something along the lines of, 'When was the last time you looked at her? She's McHot'. I almost died laughing."

Addison laughed. "Are you serious?"

"Totally. It was priceless; the comment, the look on Meredith's face, and the fact that now Alex calls you McHot behind your back."

Addison laughed, leaning against the backboard. "What is with these interns and all of their nicknames?"

"I don't know. But it's damn funny."

* * *

**7:00 A.M.**

"There's really no excuse."

"You can't come up with anything besides 'I was lonely'? Addie, there was something else…if you were so lonely, you should have just talked to Derek."

"Talking to Derek was like trying to have a conversation with a brain dead patient. He never responded, and he was always somewhere else."

"Well, I'm not going to disagree with you on that one…he's always somewhere else."

"I just…Mark and I started spending a lot of time together after that one trip…"

"The Paris trip?"

"Yeah…"

"Did you guys…?"

"No. We just got a lot closer, that's all. They put us in the same room, and it's hard not to get close to someone when you share a room with them in Paris."

Ellie nodded. "I know. Mark and I hadn't been together very long when the four of us went to Paris. We got really close."

Addison laughed. "A.k.a. you hadn't had sex until that trip."

Ellie laughed. "I forgot how much you know."

"Oh please. You and I used to be able to have conversations entirely without words." Ellie laughed. "What happened to us?"

Ellie sighed. "Don't make me answer that."

Addison looked down. "I want us to get back to that point. I wasn't trying to hurt you…I was trying to get Derek's attention…and it hurt you in the process and that was never the intention. Ever."

"I know, Addie, but I just…you've got a brain, and I still can't understand why your brain wasn't telling you, 'hey, the man you're about to sleep with is dating your best friend'."

"I don't…I don't know what to tell you. I can't explain it. I really can't."

Ellie sighed. "I know. We've spent the last two hours trying to figure out why you picked Mark. And we haven't figured it out yet. That may be something we never figure out Addison."

"I don't want you to hate me forever, though, Ellie. I wouldn't be able to deal with that."

Ellie sighed. "I don't hate you. I hate what you did. I hate that you did it with Mark. But I don't hate you. You're my best friend Addison. I can't hate you." Ellie took a deep breath. "It might take us a while to get back to that point where we can have conversations entirely without words, but we'll get there. We've been through a lot together, Addie, and I'm not going to give up on our relationship getting back to what it once was."

Addison smiled. "Promise?"

Ellie nodded. "I promise."

Addison grinned. "Okay. Well, we've still got two hours…"

Ellie grinned. "If we're going to get back to where we were, we have got to get out of this hotel room."

Addison laughed. "Deal."

"I just have to…you know, get dressed first." Ellie said, looking down at the pajamas she was still wearing.

"Well go fast. If we're going to hit the city, we're going to hit it right."

**Okay so this wasn't going to be a two-parter but then the whole Addison-Ellie conversation turned out way cool and really long. So instead of finishing it now, I'm going to post it and then post the rest later. Cuz if I post half now, you don't have to wait as long!**

**Oh, and I had to include the McHot thing because it pretty much made me die laughing when Alex said it in "Yesterday". It was priceless.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**- Mel. **


	16. Come Back Around

**Um…okay I don't really have a lot to say except…only 6 days until _Grey's_! I'm freaking STOKED!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews. I'm amazed with the response that this has been getting.**

**Chapter Title: "Come Back Around" by Feeder**

**Half Love**

"**Come Back Around"**

_Suffer the breaks  
__You know I still remember it  
__It keeps burning away  
__I know that you may take a while  
__To come back around –  
_"_Come Back Around"  
__By Feeder_

**February 8th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie flew through the doors of the hospital, shopping bags in hand; Addison on her heels.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a meeting with Richard?"

"I forgot, okay?" Ellie said, flying in to the elevator as it opened. "I knew I had to be here at 9, I just couldn't quite place why." Ellie collapsed against the elevator wall. "Remind me not to run. Especially not in heels."

"Yeah, um…remind me to remind you, and sure, I'll remind you." Ellie swung one of her shopping bags at Addison as the doors opened.

"Ahh, the missing dynamic duo." Derek said, grinning. "Have a productive morning?"

"Yup. Here." Ellie shoved her shopping bags at Derek and dashed past him. "Gotta run. I'm late for a meeting with Richard."

Addison laughed as Ellie took off down the hall. "Hey Ellie…" Ellie looked back at Addison, trying her best to move fast while looking behind her. "Don't run." Ellie smirked and flipped Addison off before facing forward again and rounding the corner.

"Why did you bring these bags in to the hospital?" Derek asked, heading down the hall with Addison.

"We wanted to hit the city New York-style."

"So you didn't take a car…" Addison nodded. "Not the best choice in Seattle."

"Yeah." Addison laughed. "We'd forgotten that, and we realized it a little too late."

* * *

"I've thought about it, talked to Derek and the other attendings, as well as Miranda Bailey, and I've come to the conclusion that it would be good for you to stay." 

Ellie grinned. "Seriously?" Richard nodded. "Oh…that's fantastic. Thank you."

Richard nodded. "Also, I've looked at your record, and the amount of procedures you know, and I'd like to put you at a fourth year resident standing."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. I don't normally do this, but you have the potential to be the next Derek Shepherd…or even the next Ellis Grey, and I'd like to get you in to a fellowship program as soon as possible."

"Wow…oh…okay."

"Miranda will be starting her fellowship in 3 months, and at that point…Derek and Addison think I should make you chief resident."

"They're a little biased, don't you think?"

Richard laughed. "Maybe, but I think they might be right." Ellie smiled. "Okay, so, even though Miranda will be back in a couple of weeks, I want you to remain her replacement, because she'll be finishing her residency and finalizing some things that go along with being chief resident before starting her fellowship."

"Okay, sure."

"Now, Addison seems to think that they might come up with a very good offer in New York, and since you're young, and I don't know you very well, I don't want to limit you, so how about we start with a year contract and see where it goes. Does that sound alright?"

Ellie smiled. "That sounds fantastic."

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

"You're staying?"

"I'm staying." Ellie said, smiling at Izzie. "My contract is for a year right now, but unless Jim, the chief in New York, is willing to push me higher than a fourth year resident standing, I'm pretty sure I'll be staying here."

Izzie smiled. "That's fantastic."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." Ellie cleared her throat as the rest of the interns joined them. "Alright, so, first, Dr. Bailey will be back in a couple of weeks, but I'll continue to be your resident because she'll be starting her fellowship, here at Seattle Grace, very soon. Second, Grey and Karev, rounds, Yang, you're in the pit, Stevens, with Addison Shepherd, and O'Malley with the other Shepherd. Have a nice day, kiddies." Ellie handed Meredith six charts, and then headed towards the locker room, her heels clicking on the floor.

"She's starting to remind me of McHot." Alex said, grinning.

"That's because she is McHot." George said, laughing. "Only McHotter."

"You're biased because you're sexing her." Alex said.

George shook his head. "No, I'm not."

"You're not biased, or you're not sexing her?" Izzie rolled her eyes at Cristina, who was thoroughly enjoying the red appearing on George's face.

"I'm not sexing her." George said, grinning. "Yet."

"Okay, discussion over." Meredith said, gripping Alex by the arm. "Let's go."

Alex laughed as Meredith pulled him down the hall, leaving the other three standing by the front desk. "What's the matter, Grey? Jealous?"

"No." She snapped, letting go of his arm. "That's just not a conversation I enjoy being a part of."

"Uh-huh." Alex took the top chart from Meredith and began to read over it. "Sure."

"I'm not jealous!" She snapped, unaware that Derek had just rounded the corner.

"Jealous of what?" He asked, grinning. Meredith shook her head.

"She's jealous the O'Malley is sexing Dr. Grey."

"George is having sex with Ellie?" Meredith let out an exasperated sigh, took the chart from Alex and went in to the patient's room.

"Not yet." Alex said, laughing. "It's a touchy subject with Grey."

"Why?"

Alex shrugged and headed in to the patients room. "Who knows?"

Derek leaned against the wall as George came down the hall. "Good Morning Dr. O'Malley."

"You must have talked to Alex." Derek stared. "You already knew we were dating…" Derek continued to stare at him, and George sighed. "I'm not going to hurt her Derek. I'm not Mark Sloan. I'm not going to take advantage of her, I'm not going to hit her, and I am most certainly not going to sleep with her best friend. Besides, her best friend is your wife, and I'm just as scared of you chasing me through the hospital as I am of her hating me for the rest of my life."

Derek laughed. "She just got hurt really bad the last time she was in a relationship, and Addison and I both thought she and Mark were going to be together for a long time. I just…" Derek sighed. "She's like my little sister, and seeing her hurt causes me great pain."

"I think I know what you mean." George said, glancing at Meredith through the window. "I'm not going to hurt her."

Derek looked towards where George was looking and sighed. "You're not using her to get to Meredith, are you?"

George's eyes popped. "Good god, no. Meredith…I had a thing for her, but she's never going to see me, and I realized that. She was like a high school crush…someone you want, but never talk to, because you know they'll reject you…"

Derek laughed. "Okay, well, let's go. We have a possible surgery here."

"Great. Hey…can I ask you something?" Derek nodded as they headed down the hallway. "What are you doing for Addison for her birthday?"

Derek smiled. "I have a great thing planned. But first, the patient." George nodded and followed Derek in to the patients room, barely missing Addison and Izzie coming down the hall.

"Is Ellie really doing okay? She said she was, but…"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. She's a little worried that Meredith is going to hate her forever, but she's okay."

"Did she tell you that she's staying?"

Addison smiled. "Yeah, she did. I'm so happy she's staying…I've missed having her around." Izzie grinned. "Plus, hopefully that means we can get back to the relationship we had before…everything."

Izzie nodded. "I had a friend that I was close to like you and Ellie are…or were. She lived next door to me when we were growing up, and we shared everything. We had our own secret language by the time we were like 8."

Addison laughed. "We don't have a secret language, but we can have entire conversations without words. Well…we used to be able to." Addison looked at Izzie. "What happened to your friend?"

Izzie looked down. "We had a falling out. We were in the same situation, and we made completely opposite decisions, and I didn't think hers was right, and I had no problem voicing that, and she got upset. I don't really blame her, but…she's still living in the same house she grew up in, working in a diner in town…I wish she had realized her own potential. We were going to be doctors together, but she just kind of stopped caring when we reached high school."

Addison nodded. "Sometimes that happens…you can't blame yourself, Izzie."

"I know." Izzie looked up at Addison. "What made you and Ellie so close anyway?"

Addison smiled. "She didn't have anyone when she came to New York. I had a few friends, but most of them were originally Derek's friends, and all of mine had left the state to go pursue careers somewhere else. My best friend, Jamie, who was actually the one that introduced me to Derek, died in a car accident about three months before I met Ellie…I was a 26-year-old junior high student." Izzie cocked one eyebrow. "Junior high was horrible, right?" Izzie nodded. "It's the time when you feel like you don't have any friends, and you don't know what you're doing…I was like that until Ellie showed up. And she was like that too…it's why she refuses to give up on me. Even though I'm pretty much an idiot."

Izzie shook her head. "I wouldn't say that. You made a mistake, and they're both working on forgiving you, right?" Addison nodded. "See…that shows that they really love you."

"She hated me for a while."

Izzie laughed. "Yeah, well, so did I." Addison laughed and the two women went in to their patients room.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie slammed her tray down on the table next to Addison, making both Addison and Izzie jump. "I'm going to _kill_ her."

"Who?" Addison asked, turning to Ellie.

"My sister. Damn it!"

"What?" Izzie asked, worried.

"I can't believe her…" Ellie put her head in her hands. "She told George about…"

"Oh no." Addison whispered. "She told George about Anthony?" Ellie nodded.

"Who's Anthony?" Izzie asked, now confused.

"Now he thinks I'm horrible. I can't believe…God. I hate her."

"Who is Anthony?" Izzie asked.

"He doesn't think you're horrible. Explain it to him. He'll understand."

"No…he won't."

"HEY!" Both Addison and Ellie turned to Izzie, wide eyed. "I'm a little lost here. Who's Anthony?"

Ellie sighed. "He was…when I started University; I met Anthony because he was my Biology Professor. We didn't start dating until I was a junior at NYU, but he was married…I didn't know he was married until a year in to our relationship…but I stayed with him." Ellie shoved her tray out of the way and put her head down on the table. "Now George is going to think I'm as bad as Meredith."

"What does that mean?" Izzie asked.

Ellie looked up. "I just meant…because she slept with her boss, and I slept with my professor, and she was with a married man, and…oh god he's going to think I'm worse. Because I stayed with Anthony."

"He's not going to think you're worse." George's voice made Ellie spin around. "Worse than what, I'm not sure, but…he's going to think that you were 22 and in a stage where mistakes were your life, not 27, in a stage where you shouldn't be obsessed with a married man. And he's going to think that it was 8 years ago, so it doesn't really matter now."

Ellie sighed. "I was going to tell you, but you know, when we got to that point where we talked about our past relationships and horrible mistakes."

George smiled. "We all make mistakes Ellie. I slept with a nurse to make someone else jealous, and I ended up with syphilis."

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "You had syphilis?"

"Yes." George sat down next to Ellie and faced her. "The nurse, Olivia, got it from Alex."

Ellie's eyes widened. "She got it from _Karev_? That's hilarious."

"What's hilarious?" Izzie asked.

"That George and Alex slept with the same person." Izzie rolled her eyes.

"So, are you still going to kill your sister?" Addison asked, taking half of Ellie's salad and putting half of her own sandwich on Ellie's tray.

"No…I just wish she had let me tell him. I mean, I know she's pissed at me, but come on." Ellie sighed. "Coming to this hospital was like going back to high school."

Addison nodded. "True story. Rumors spread like wildfire here."

"Kind of like the one where you have a year contract?" George said, looking Ellie in the eye. "Any plans to mention that to me?"

Ellie laughed. "Yeah. I was going to; I just hadn't seen you yet today."

"Hey, so, you're doing okay, right?" He asked, remembering that he hadn't talked to her since 4:30 that morning.

"Yeah. Uh…you want to have dinner tonight?" Ellie asked. "We can talk, and…"

George nodded. "Sure. Where?"

"Well, in the 10 days I've been here, I haven't actually had the chance to go to this Joe's place you guys always talk about."

"Meredith will probably be there."

Ellie shrugged. "So? She's the one that has the problem, not me."

"Okay…" Izzie sighed. "Meredith conversation over. New topic."

Addison laughed. "How about the rumor that you two are sexing each other?"

Ellie giggled. "What?"

George shook his head. "Don't ask. It's an Alex thing."

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that Alex calls me McHot?" George's eyes popped.

"How about that and the fact that George insisted Ellie was McHotter." Ellie laughed and George threw his fork at Izzie.

"Why is she McHotter?" Addison asked, looking at George.

He smiled. "Because I'm dating her, and if I said you were McHotter, your husband would attack me. I am not prepared for that."

Ellie laughed. "Why not?"

"I can't run as fast as Mark Sloan." The table broke in to laughter. "I can't!"

"Don't worry about it." Ellie said. "If Derek were to start chasing you I would take him down."

"Like you did at Christmas in 2001?" Ellie nodded. "That was amazing."

"What happened?" Izzie asked.

"We were in Central Park, throwing snowballs, and Mark and I had just started dating…first we teamed up Mark and I versus Addison and Derek, and then we did guys versus girls…"

"Wait. Who won the first one?" George asked.

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "Addison and Derek did. But only because of Derek. Addison throws like a girl."

"I am a girl." Addison said, making a face.

"You know what I meant. You have zero aim when it comes to throwing something…her water gun aim is good, but anything else…"

"The story, Eliot, the story!" Addison said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh…right. Okay, so then it was Addison and I versus Mark and Derek, and they were winning, because, like I said, Addison has no aim…" Addison smacked Ellie's arm and Ellie slid closer to George. "So, we called a time out to build snowballs, and when the time out was over, Addison concentrated on Derek, while I headed for Mark. At the last second, I dashed behind Mark and took Derek out at the knees. He slammed in to the snow, and we won, because then Addison could smash snow in his face. Of course, I was tossed in to the snow and smothered in it by Mark, but I had taken Derek out and that was the point." Ellie grinned. "Now you mention 'Ellie' and 'take down' to Derek and he freaks out."

"He does not." Addison said.

"Wanna bet?" Addison nodded. "Let's go see." The two women left, and George and Izzie looked at each other, a little confused.

"Should we follow them?" Izzie asked.

"Do you want to miss this?" Izzie shook her head and George smiled. "Then yes, we should follow them."

* * *

"Hold these." Ellie whispered, handing her heels to Izzie. She took off running down the hall and slid on her nylons in to Derek, hitting the back of his knees with hers. His knees buckled and he hit the ground, his head almost slamming in to a gurney before Ellie caught it. 

"Damn it." He rubbed his head as Ellie stood, brushed off the pants she was wearing, and helped Derek up, trying to stifle laughter. "Why didn't I get any warning?" He asked, looking pointedly at Addison, who was standing between Izzie and George, laughing.

"Because if you'd warning it wouldn't have been funny." Addison said, grinning.

"What was that for?" Derek asked, looking back and forth between Ellie and Addison.

"Well, we were going to ask you if the words 'Ellie' and 'take down' freaked you out..." Derek's eyes widened. "Ha! They do!"

Addison sighed. "Okay, fine. Anyway, when we saw you standing here we figured it would just be funnier to take you out."

Ellie nodded. "Plus I _really_ wanted to slide on the floor."

Derek shook his head. "Yeah, well, I hope you had your fun, because you and George and I have a surgery to perform in 30 minutes. So scrub in." Derek turned around and headed down the hall.

"Derek?" He turned back around, a solemn look on his face. "Are you mad at me?"

He stared at her, and then crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "No." He swung back around and headed down the hall, and Ellie turned to Addison.

"We have to exchange Day 7 and Day 8 gifts now if you don't want to wait until tomorrow. Who knows how long this surgery will go."

Addison nodded. "Okay, let's do it." Izzie handed Ellie her shoes and she slipped them on smoothly before heading down the hall with Addison.

"Should we follow them?" Izzie asked, looking at George.

"This time, I don't think so."

* * *

Ellie handed Addison a large bag and a rectangular shaped wrapped present and receive almost the exact same thing in return. 

"We need to stop hanging out so much." Ellie said, laughing. They both ripped in to the rectangular shaped packages and grinned. "_21 Jump Street_. Classic."

Addison laughed. "_I Love Lucy_. Most excellent choice, Eliot."

Ellie grinned. "Yeah well, I try my best." Both women pulled the tissue paper from the bags and burst in to laughter. "MY LITTLE PONY!"

"Like I don't already have enough Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle stuff," Addison said, smiling. "How did you find something I don't already have?"

"It took me forever," Ellie said, grinning, "but I finally found stuff."

Addison smiled. "Happy Days 7 and 8."

"Happy Days 7 and 8."

"You have to scrub in."

Ellie nodded. "I know. But I can be a little late, because the way Dereks eyes popped when I said 'Ellie' and 'take down'…he knows not to mess with me."

Addison laughed. "That's right. Don't mess."

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

"Ew…" Ellie groaned as she and George walked in to Joe's. "I feel gross after that surgery."

"I told you we could wait so you could take a shower." George said, smiling.

"Not that kind of gross. The kind of gross where that is not something I ever want to see again."

"The brain was not that bad."

Ellie laughed. "I'm not talking about the brain. I'm talking about the new nurse projectile vomiting all over Derek the minute we walked out of the OR." Ellie grinned. "Although, it was kind of funny."

George nodded. "Yeah it was." They stopped near the bar and looked around. "The bar or a table?"

Ellie smiled. "The bar is good." He nodded and they sat down in two stools near the door.

"What can I get you?" Joe asked, leaning towards Ellie.

"Vodka tonic, please." She said, smiling.

"The usual, George?" George nodded and Joe headed down to the other end of the bar.

"You guys must be here a lot."

George nodded. "It's either here or at Meredith's. Here tends to win."

Ellie laughed. "Yeah, I guess it would."

Joe handed Ellie her drink and smiled. "Can I ask your name?"

Ellie grinned. "Eliot Grey."

Joe's eyes widened. "Ah. The sister. Right. I've heard about you."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you've heard all the bad things. I'm not as horrible as Meredith may make me sound."

Joe raised one eyebrow at George and smiled. "Meredith isn't the only one that talks about you." Joe walked away and George looked down at the counter.

"George…?" He looked up and Ellie laughed. "You're so cute."

George blushed and rolled his eyes. "I am not cute."

"Fine." Ellie said, taking a drink of her vodka tonic. "You're not cute."

George took a drink and looked Ellie in the eye. "I have a question."

"Okay."

"How long are you going to be staying in the hotel?"

Ellie smiled. "Just until March 1st."

"Why then?"

"Because the weekend before that, Derek will be moving himself and Addison in to my Dads old place so that they can build on the property Derek owns. And Derek told me that I can take up residence in the trailer until the house is done, and when that happens, I'll move back in to my Dads house."

George nodded. "I hate that you're paying for a hotel because Meredith kicked you out."

Ellie smiled. "I'm not. Addison said the hospital would pay for it if I needed a hotel, and I didn't think that I did, but now that I do…they're paying for it, but only until the first. Because that's when I'll sign my contract to work at Seattle Grace, and then I'm not a visiting surgeon."

"Gotcha." George leaned against the counter. "How long is your contract?"

"Richard is starting it at a year, because he's not sure how I work, and he doesn't want to limit me if New York wants me back, but I don't think I'll be going back to New York unless they make me an attending like now, so I'll probably be here for a while."

George smiled. "Good."

"Yeah?" He nodded and leaned in to kiss her, setting his drink down on the bar. "What do you say we get out of here?"

George stared at her, startled. "We just got here, El. I thought you were hungry."

She smiled. "We can order room service." He grinned, pulled his wallet out and left money on the bar before following her out of the bar.

Meredith was down at the other end, watching their interaction.

"You seem upset." A voice said in her ear. She turned to see a young man with chocolate brown eyes looking at her. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Meredith said, her voice coming out low and scratchy.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

Meredith shook her head. "Go ahead."

The young man sat down. "I'm Paul."

Meredith smiled. "Meredith."

"Can I get you something, sir?" Joe asked, smiling at Meredith.

"Uh, yeah. Double scotch, single malt." Meredith almost gasped. Derek's drink. "And another one of whatever she's having." Paul smiled at Meredith and she smiled back. He was cute, and maybe sharing the same taste in alcohol with McDreamy wasn't such a bad thing.

**Okay, so…what do you think? I wanna know, I wanna know! Review please!**

**- Mel.**


	17. If God Made You

**I win. Because I'm posting AGAIN. That's all.**

**Chapter Title: "If God Made You" by Five for Fighting**

**Half Love**

"**If God Made You"**

_Sunset sailing on April skies  
__Bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes  
__I can't say what I might believe  
__But if God made you he's in love with me –  
_"_If God Made You"  
__By Five for Fighting_

**February 9th, 2006**

**3:30 A.M.**

_Ellie rolled over in bed as the phone rang out in the living room. There was no way she was answering it. It was 3 in the morning, and it was probably Derek calling to Addison he loved her. Because he did weird things like that._

"_You've reached Derek and Addison Shepherd and Eliot Grey…" she groaned. Why Derek changed it she'd never understand. She was only living there temporarily anyway._

"_I'm calling for Dr. Shepherd. This is Annabelle Waterman from Bellevue…there's been an accident…" Ellie bolted out of bed and tore out in to the living room. Addison wasn't up, so Ellie picked up the phone._

"_Hello?"_

"_Dr. Shepherd?"_

"_No, this is Eliot Grey. What happened?"_

"_I'm sorry; I can only give this information away to family members…"_

"_Was it Derek? I'm his sister." Ellie swallowed. She was kind of like his sister._

"_Uh…"_

"_Okay, sister-in-law. Whatever. His wife is asleep."_

"_Okay, well, there was car accident…" Ellie started taking deep breaths. Car accident? "He's in surgery now, but we need his wife to come down to the hospital."_

"_He works there. Don't you have his information?"_

"_We need her consent on a procedure."_

"_Uh. Okay. We'll be there as soon as possible." Ellie hung up took a deep breath and ran in to Addisons bedroom. "Addie. Addie? ADDISON."_

_Addison bolted up. "Good god, what?"_

"_Get dressed. It's Derek. He was in a car accident." Ellie flipped on the light, surprised at how well composed she was staying. "We have to go to Bellevue." Addison was up and out of bed in seconds, throwing on jeans and a sweatshirt as Ellie raced in to her room and pulled on jeans before racing out in to the living room. They left the house in a flash, racing down the street and grabbing the nearest taxi. It wasn't until they reached the hospital that Ellie started to hyperventilate._

"_You okay?"_

_Ellie nodded. "I'm good. I'm fine."_

"_Okay." Addison raced down the hallway, but Ellie had to stop and lean against the wall. Car accidents scared her to death, but she needed to calm down. Derek was in danger and she needed to be there for Addison. Ellie took one last deep breath and stood up, following Addison down the hall at as quick of a pace as possible._

"_Addie?" Jim, the chief of surgery, came walking in to the main entry way. Actually, the man glided when he walked, and he had always reminded Ellie of someone floating on a cloud. "He's okay. We need you to sign this…there's bleeding in the subdural space in his brain." Addison nodded. "I would have done it without you, because I know you'd want it done, but hospital policy says…"_

"_Just give me the damn paper, Jim." He handed her a clipboard with a single sheet of paper on it and she signed it quickly before thrusting it back at him. "What else is wrong with him?"_

"_There's some internal bleeding," Jim said, handing the clipboard to the nurse, who raced off to the OR to okay the procedure. "and he fractured his right leg and broke a couple of ribs. But he'll be just fine."_

"_What happened?" Ellie asked, her voice barely coming above a whisper._

"_Uh…" Jim looked back and forth from Ellie to Addison. "I'm sorry, who are you?"_

"_Eliot Grey." She said, clearing her throat._

"_Right…okay, Derek has told me about you. Uh, we're not exactly sure what happened, we just know he was headed home and had been hit head on by a large truck. The driver of the truck is in the ICU."_

"_But Derek will be okay?" Ellie asked her voice cracking._

"_Derek's going to be just fine. Why don't you two have a seat and I'll let you know when the surgery is finished."_

"_I want to be in there, Jim."_

"_Addison, no."_

"_I'm not kidding. He's my husband, damn it, and I want to know whether or not he's going to be okay."_

"_Addie, I can't let you…"_

"_Don't. Don't tell me you can't let me sit in the observation room. Because you can. I'm a doctor here…"_

"_Addison, it's hospital policy…"_

"_Screw hospital policy. Just because this is your first year as Chief doesn't mean you have to follow every god damn rule. I want to be in there!"_

_Jim took a deep breath. "Alright, alright. Breathe. I'll let you sit in the observation deck, but you can't go in to the OR."_

_Addison sighed. "Thank you." She turned to Ellie, her face still pale, and half-smiled. "Come on, kid." Ellie stood but Jim shook his head._

"_No. Absolutely not."_

"_Why not?"_

"_She's not a doctor here."_

"_She's going to be."_

_Jim looked at her. "Derek said she was 20. So she won't be for a while. She can't go back there with you."_

"_But…"_

"_Addison, it's okay. I'll be fine. Go be with your husband." Ellie managed to speak with confidence, even though she would rather be with Addison. "Go."_

_Addison smiled. "I let you know…"_

_Ellie nodded. "Okay." Ellie sat back down and watched Jim and Addison walk down the hall. It wasn't long before she was hyperventilating again. Her father had been in almost the same situation as Derek. What if Derek died too?_

George watched as Ellie tossed and turned, the sheets wrapping around her body. She was sweating, and tears were pouring down her face, but George didn't touch her. Addison had said that she needed to wake up on her own. Ellie choked out a sob and opened her eyes, sitting up.

"What…El? Are you alright?"

Ellie turned to face him. "George?" She sighed, almost a sigh of relief. "I…Derek was in a car accident…it was horrible. I can't describe it to you…" Ellie put her head in her hands. "I hate these. They never seem as awful as they really are."

"It's okay." George pulled her close to him, the warmth of her naked skin radiating heat to the chill of his. "You're okay." He whispered as she began to cry.

"God, George…my Dad died in a car accident…when Derek was in that car accident…it was horrible. It almost killed me."

George leaned back so that he was lying in the hotel bed, and she curled in to him, laying her head on his chest. "Ellie…"

"I don't really want to talk about it, George. I just…I need you to hold me. More than you know."

He ran his hand over her head, his fingers running through her soft hair. "Okay."

* * *

Meredith woke with a start, though she wasn't sure why. She was in her own house, in her own bed…but she wasn't wearing any clothes. _That is not normal._ She thought, pulling the sheet around her. It was then that she realized there was another person lying next to her. _What the hell happened?_ Meredith rolled on to her side to look at the sleeping man next to her. Blonde, with chiseled features similar to Dereks, although he had a paler complexion…Paul. His name was Paul. Meredith stared at him, trying to remember what had happened the night before, when he opened one eye. 

"Are you watching me sleep?"

Meredith almost shrieked. "Dear God. You scared me. No…I was just…this is going to sound horrible but…what happened?"

Paul laughed. "We both got very drunk I'm sure. You were throwing that tequila back like it was water, and I had more than enough double scotches."

Meredith nodded. "Drunk. Right."

"Do you want me to go, or something?"

"Huh?" Meredith grinned. "No, Paul, I don't. I was just a little lost, that's all."

Paul grinned, his smile making her melt. Not because it was like Dereks, but because it was the opposite of Dereks…not suave, instead he just looked happy. "Well in that case…" Paul leaned over her and looked at the clock. "Since it's three-thirty in the morning, why don't we get some sleep?" Meredith nodded and put her head on his chest, curling towards him. She fell asleep to the rise and fall of his breaths.

* * *

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie smiled as she opened her eyes. Sure, there had been a nightmare, but she hadn't slept that well after a nightmare in a long time. Not since Mark.

"Hey." George was sitting in the chair by the window as she sat up. "Good Morning."

"How long have you been up?" She asked, noticing that he was still wearing just boxers.

"Only about half an hour." He smiled and made his way over to the bed, sitting on the edge near her legs. "How did you sleep?"

"After the nightmare?" He nodded. "Good. Very good."

George smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

Ellie grinned. "What time do you have to be in?"

George shrugged. "I dunno." He said, grinning. "You're my resident. What time should I be at work this morning, _Dr._ Grey?"

Ellie laughed. "Well, I think it's safe to say you're okay for at _least_ another hour."

"Another _hour_, eh?"

Ellie laughed. "Mmmhmmm." She placed one hand on Georges cheek, pulling him closer to her and kissing him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "I just meant…you had a rough night…"

Ellie grinned. "George…I'm sure." He smiled and kissed her again, this time bring both legs on to the bed, one on either side of her body. It wasn't long before both the sheet and the boxers had been discarded and George was kissing his way down Ellie's body. Ellie ran her fingers through his hair, took a deep breath, and completely gave in to the feel of Georges hands on her skin.

* * *

"Um. So. That was, ah…" 

Ellie laughed. "Dude. Shut it. I know."

"You did not just call me dude."

Ellie grinned. "I did just call you dude. Got a problem?"

George nodded. "Yeah, I got a problem…" He grinned and latched his hands to her waist, tickling her. "You do not call me dude."

Ellie giggled. "Okay, okay!" She shrieked when his hands began to move over her stomach, still tickling her. "George! Stop!"

He smiled. "Okay, I'll stop." He leaned back and put one arm on the bed, leaning on it. "You know, I like this."

"What? Sexing me?"

George's face turned red. "Ellie!"

She laughed. "Sorry. You like what?"

"I like being able to lie in bed and talk to someone before going to work. I haven't had that in a long time."

Ellie smiled. "You are such a girl."

George cocked one eyebrow. "I am not a girl."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. You are."

George shook his head and grinned. "No. I'm not." He lunged at her, reaching for her waist, but missed when she jumped out of the bed.

"Don't tickle me."

"Don't call me a girl."

"You are a girl." She said, cocking one eyebrow, making it more than obvious that she was seriously joking.

"You call me a girl, I tickle you. Fair and square."

Ellie shook her head. "Not fair." George moved slowly out of the bed, heading for Ellie. "It's not fair, you can call me a name, or whatever, but tickling me…" She shrieked when his hands grabbed her waist, and she hit him on the shoulder. "George!"

He laughed and let go of her. "Okay. Fine." He placed his hands lightly on her waist and led her towards the bathroom. "It's 8:30. We have to get ready."

Ellie grinned. "Okay. Wanna get ready with me?" She asked, turning on the shower. George smiled. Needless to say, they were late.

* * *

**9:30 A.M.**

"Where are they?" Izzie asked, looking around the surgical floor. "No Meredith, no George; no Ellie…"

Alex laughed. "I think I know where Ellie and George are. Joe said they showed up at the bar last night for about 15 minutes."

Izzie grinned. "Okay, but where the hell is Meredith?"

"I know, I know…I'm late…"Meredith came running down the hall, throwing her hair in to a bun. "Is she pissed?"

"Who?" Cristina asked, staring at Meredith.

"Ellie. Who else?"

"Ellie isn't even here yet." Alex said. "Neither is George."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Great. Fantastic. Just what I wanted to hear at 9:30 in the morning…"

"Well where were you?" Cristina asked, eyeing her best friend.

"None of your damn business." Meredith snapped, raising one eyebrow as Ellie and George came racing down the hall.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay; Grey, you're with Burke, Yang, you're with Shepherd, O'Malley in the pit, Karev on rounds and Stevens with Addison. Go." Four of the five left, George giving Ellie a reassuring squeeze on her arm as he walked away.

"So. You were late." Meredith said, looking her sister in the eye.

"So were you."

"How did you know that?" Meredith asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"I'm not stupid, Meredith. When I leaned against the hood of your car while I was waiting for George to get out of the car, I could still feel the heat. Had you been on time, it wouldn't have been that warm."

"You came in with George."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Your point?"

"You really shouldn't be sleeping with one of your students. Especially if you're going to show favoritism."

"Okay, um, like you're one to talk. Plus, does putting George in the pit really seem like favoritism?"

Meredith shook her head. "I guess not."

"Look, you and I need to sit down and talk, but not now. You need to go talk to Dr. Burke." Meredith nodded and headed down the hall. Ellie leaned against the counter and put her head in her hands.

"Have a good night?" Ellie jumped and turned around, her eyes locking with Addisons. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Ellie shook her head. "You just startled me. Yeah, it was a good night." She said, grinning. "A really good night."

"You two are moving a lot faster than you and Mark did."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Mark's a tool. Don't bring him up."

Addison laughed. "Okay, fine. But obviously you like George better."

Ellie grinned. "Yeah. I do."

Addison smiled. "Good. Now come on, I've got a pregnant woman in exam 1, and I need a neuro-consult but Derek's about to go in to surgery."

Ellie grinned. "Okay." Ellie followed Addison down the hall, her head still wondering why Meredith had been late.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie and Addison sat down at the usual table, a bowl of soup and a bottle of water in front of each of them.

"Why does he let that nurse in to his surgeries?" Addison asked, staring at the bowl of soup.

"I don't know. All I know is, it was funny last night, but sick this morning."

"It was still funny this morning, just more gross."

Ellie laughed. "True story." Ellie sighed. "Did you hear what Meredith told Izzie?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. You know, I think your sister has a problem."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "You mean getting drunk and sleeping with inappropriate men?" Addison nodded. "Nah, that's just her thing."

"It's not a very good thing."

"No, but there's not a lot I can do to stop her." Ellie took a sip of the water and pulled the bowl of soup closer to her. "I'm going to try to eat some of this. Because if I don't, I'll die of hunger later." Ellie took a spoonful of the soup and grinned. "It's not bad."

Addison stared at it. "It looks like Derek's shirt did."

Ellie gagged and tossed the spoon on the table. "God. Addison!"

Addison grinned. "Sorry." Addison's eyes narrowed as a blonde man came towards the table. "Who is that?"

Ellie looked up and grinned. "PT!" Ellie jumped up from her seat and pulled the man in to a hug. "Oh my gosh…what are you doing here?"

"I'm back in town…I got a job at your Dads old law firm."

"Pro bono? You?"

He smiled. "I'm going to try it."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Well, good for you." Ellie turned to Addison and grinned. "Addie, this is my old friend from way back, PT. PT, this is my best friend, Addison Shepherd."

PT raised his eyebrows. "Addison Shepherd? As in the world renowned surgeon?"

Addison blushed. "I guess so."

"No…you saved my best friends twins. In Los Angeles, a few years ago, they were joined at the hip and waist."

Addison smiled. "Megan was your best friend?"

"Well, her husband, Max, is my best friend, but…"

"That's awesome. How are the twins doing?"

"Kate and Bryan just turned 4…they're doing really well. Bryan's already playing soccer, and K is going to be a ballerina, I'm sure of it."

Ellie laughed. "I didn't know that Max and Megan had twins. I haven't seen them since…"

"Since their wedding. I know, El." He snapped.

Ellie looked at PT, a little confused. "What…? I was working, PT, how on earth was I supposed to make it out to Los Angeles at the drop of a hat?"

PT shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just…I needed you. And I called you and some guy named Mark answered…and you never called me back."

Ellie grimaced. "Asshole." She hissed. "He never told me you called, PT, otherwise I would have. What happened?"

"Annie…she…she had ovarian cancer…she died early last year."

Ellies face dropped. "Oh God. PT…I am so sorry I wasn't there…I really am."

He shrugged. "It's okay, El. Obviously it's not your fault."

Ellie sighed. "Look, I have a surgery to get to, but if you hang around here, or let me know where you're staying, we'll have dinner, okay?"

PT nodded. "I'm at the Sheraton. Room 2511."

Ellie gaped. "You're kidding." He shook his head. "I'm in 2506."

PT smiled. "Awesome. Okay, so I'll see you…"

"I should be there around six."

PT smiled. "Okay, I'll see you then."

Ellie nodded. "Great." PT hugged her and left, and she stood, ready to head to her surgery.

"So he was what, your best friend in high school?" Addison asked, walking with Ellie out of the cafeteria.

"He was my first. My first best friend, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first love, my first sexual experience…and then we moved to opposite ends of the country. We lost the relationship we'd had before I left." Ellie laughed. "He was my you, with male parts."

Addison laughed. "I'd love to get to know him."

"You'd love him." Ellie said, grinning. "You really would."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"I have to go. I have to meet PT!" Ellie said, racing past Addison. "We'll do breakfast in the morning, and you'll get your Day 9 gift then, okay?"

"Okay!" Addison said, grinning. "Have a good time!" Ellie smiled and bolted out the hospital doors.

"Where is she headed?" Derek asked, putting his hand on Addisons shoulder.

"An old friend showed up, she's having dinner with him." Addison looked down at Derek's scrubs. "Gross, Derek did you not change your scrubs?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I changed my scrubs…but I had more than one surgery today."

Addison sighed. "Derek, I think you should talk to Richard…"

"I'm going to. I'm headed there right now. I just didn't want you to leave…"

Addison shook her head. "I'm on call tonight."

Derek grinned. "Really?" She nodded. "Me too."

* * *

Ellie knocked on the door of room 2511, butterflies in her stomach. It had been a long time since she'd seen PT, and she was a little nervous. 

"Hey." He said, opening the door. "You're just in time. I ordered in."

Ellie smiled. "Figures. You always did hate restaurants." He nodded and led her in to the room.

"I missed you so much." He said, grinning.

"I missed you too PT. I really…" Ellie's words were cut off by PT's mouth on hers. "Hey. Don't." She said, stepping back. "I'm seeing someone, PT, someone I really like. And you and I were over years ago."

"I thought Mark was an asshole."

"I'm not seeing Mark. He and I were done a year ago. His name is George." Ellie sighed. "Look, I came to have dinner with you, and catch up on old times…"

"Ellie, I lied. I'm not just here for the job. The job exists, but I took it because I knew you were here. Damn it, Ellie, losing Annie made me realize…I'm still in love with you."

Ellie looked down. "I should have expected this. PT, I love you, I really do, but you were my first love, so I'll always love you. But not like you obviously love me. I'm sorry."

PT shook his head. "No, it's okay. Let's just eat, alright?"

Ellie shook her head. "PT, I don't think dinner is a very good idea right now. We both need to think a little…how about lunch tomorrow, okay?"

"But Eliot…"

"PT…please. I just…lunch tomorrow, at the hospital, okay?" PT nodded and Ellie left, leaving him alone with enough food for two and enough alcohol for four.

* * *

Ellie sat down on the bed and dialed a number that was rapidly becoming familiar. 

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hi. I thought you had a dinner thing with…what's his name?"

"PT. It sort of went to pot. You want to meet me at Joe's?"

"Yeah. I'll be there."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone, grabbed her jacket, and headed out of the hotel to meet George.

**Okay, so the ending was a little weird and rushed, but I wanted to post it for you. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! PLEASE!**

**- Mel.**


	18. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Okay, so the next new episode of _Grey's_ is this Sunday…a.k.a. 4 days from now…and if something bad happens between Addison and Derek I will most literally smash my TV. I'm not kidding. If any of you read Ask Ausiello then you know what I'm talking about. I'll kill something. Bah…**

**Chapter Title: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana**

**Half Love**

"**Smells Like Teen Spirit"**

_I'm worse at what I do best  
__And for this gift I feel blessed  
__Our little group has always been  
__And always will until the end  
__hello, how low?  
__With the lights out it's less dangerous  
__Here we are now  
__Entertain us  
__I feel stupid and contagious  
__Here we are now  
__Entertain us –  
_"_Smells Like Teen Spirit"  
__By Nirvana_

**February 10th, 2006**

**6:30 A.M.**

"He kissed you?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I didn't really know what to do. The last person that caught me off guard by kissing me was Mark, and the first time I wanted to happen, and the second time I was drunk."

Addison raised one eyebrow. "When was that?"

"8 weeks ago."

"Oh. Right. Okay, so what did you do?"

"I told him I was seeing someone and that spending the evening together probably wasn't the best idea. He agreed to meet me here for lunch today, and then I left and met up with George at Joe's."

"Did you tell George?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I just told him that PT and I got in to an argument."

"Ellie…"

"Addison, what was I supposed to do? 'Hey, George, yeah, so PT kissed me and told me that he's been in love with me for years even though he's been married and has kids…yeah, he wants to get back together..' How exactly would George react to that?"

Addison shrugged. "You'll never know until you tell him." Addison took a sip of her coffee. "Did you say that PT has kids?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Leah is 7 and Luke is 5. They must be staying with Annie's parents until PT finds a more permanent place."

"So the job actually exists?"

Ellie nodded. "He said it does. But there has to be another reason he took it. He never does something if he doesn't have a least two reasons."

"Maybe the money's good."

Ellie laughed. "It's pro bono work. The money is horrible."

Addison nodded. "Okay, so what do you think his reason is?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. But I'll find out."

"So…what else?"

Ellie shrugged. "What do you mean?"

Addison sighed. "If we're going to get back to that point where we can read each other totally and have conversations without words, we're going to have to start telling each other everything again."

Ellie grinned. "Well, you don't have to tell me anything. I already know that you have something really cute planned for Derek for Valentines Day and that the two of you had sex at least twice last night in the on call room."

Addison stared. "Okay…so how come I can't read you?"

Ellie sighed. "Because I'm still working on being able to let you." Addison nodded. "But, we can start with George spent the night again last night, and it was the first night in over two months that I didn't have a nightmare."

"I thought the nightmares had stopped before the miscarriage."

Ellie shook her head. "They did. And then you left, and I slept with Mark, and I was afraid that I was going to do something stupid like go back to him, and I couldn't sleep. And then the miscarriage happened…but last night I slept all through the night."

Addison smiled. "That's great Ellie."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah."

"So, what have you got planned for George for Valentines Day?"

Ellie shrugged. "Not really anything, yet. We just started dating, and I don't want to freak him out by planning out this really extravagant thing…what about you?"

"I thought you knew…" Addison said, smirking.

"I know you have something cute planned, but I don't know what it is."

Addison grinned. "Well, Derek loves ferry boats, god knows why, so we're going to drive up to Anacortes and then take the ferry out to Orcas Island."

Ellie smiled. "Fun, but does he have a trip planned?"

Addison shook her head. "We swap years. Last year we went out to Coney Island for the day…that was his thing."

Ellie smiled. "Fun." Ellie took a gulp of her coffee and looked down at her watch. "I have to go, I have to meet with my interns in about ten minutes, but I'll see you later, okay?" Addison nodded and watched Ellie walk out of the cafeteria, all of a sudden worried that something was wrong.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Addison made her way down the hall, looking for George. Ellie had been avoiding her all morning, and she couldn't figure out why.

"George!" Addison whispered, catching him heading down the hall with Alex. "Can I talk to you?"

"Uh…sure. I'll meet you in there." George said to Alex, who nodded and headed in to a patients room as George turned to Addison. "What's going on?"

"Did Ellie sleep through the night last night?"

"What?"

"Did she wake up in the middle of the night?"

George looked down. "Yeah. Did she tell you that she didn't?"

Addison nodded. "Do you know why?"

George nodded. "Yeah…come in here with me." He said, leading Addison in to an empty room. "She's going to kill me for this, but…you should really know this. I don't think she has ever told you this…" George sighed. "How much do you know about the accident her Dad was in?"

Addison shrugged. "Not much. That's the one thing she won't talk about with me."

George nodded. "Well, you know that the car ran in to a tree, right?" Addison nodded. "And that Ellie was in the ICU for a week with internal bleeding?"

"Yeah, George, I know all of that."

"She was driving."

"What?"

"Ellie was the one driving the car when it crashed. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going, and she didn't see the truck until it was almost too late, so she swerved and hit the tree. Michael was asleep in the passenger seat. They were on their way home from Orcas Island."

Addisons face fell. "Oh god. That's what…I'm taking Derek to Orcas Island for Valentines Day, and she was fine until I started talking about that…" Addison sighed. "Why didn't she ever tell me that?"

George shrugged. "I'm not sure. She was 16 years old, and scared to death that she would be accused of manslaughter or something, but her grandparents weren't going to send her to jail. Car accidents still scare her."

Addison nodded. "I knew that part. Derek was in a car accident in early 1996…it almost killed her."

George nodded. "She woke up screaming…it was the first time I'd experienced that…most of the time she just wakes up crying and shaking, but this time she was screaming, and she made me leave. She didn't want to be around anyone." George looked down at the floor. "I stole one of the keys and spent the night outside the door so that if it happened again I could be there."

Addison smiled. "Derek used to do that too…she's like another sister to him, and he would sleep on the floor outside her room when it was really bad." Addison looked down. "Is she okay?"

George nodded. "I think so. It certainly didn't help that she was worried about this whole PT thing…"

"She told you?"

George nodded. "About an hour ago. She thought I should know since he's meeting her here for lunch…" George sighed. "I was going to take her out to dinner tonight, but I know that you guys haven't had a lot of time to spend together with everything…and I know that your usual traditions are getting pushed aside…so why don't you take my reservation and you guys can go out…"

"Oh, George, no…"

He shook his head. "No, take it. Ellie was telling me that you guys used to go to dinner every night during the thirteen days, but I know you haven't been able to…and she and I have Valentines Day." George smiled. "The reservation is for 7:00, at The Melting Pot. It's a great place…"

Addison nodded. "I've been there."

"With Derek?" Addison shook her head. "Mark…well, don't tell her that. Anyway, it'll give me a chance to talk to Derek about what I'm going to do for Ellie for her birthday."

Addison smiled. "Thanks George." He nodded and left the room, leaving Addison alone in the empty room. She lay down on the bed and sighed. Ellie still didn't trust her, especially if she was lying to her about sleeping all the way through the night.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie paced in front of the hospital, trying to take deep breaths. She had given herself three tasks when she had woken up that morning. One, tell George about PT kissing her. Check. Two, avoid telling Addison about the nightmare, because Addison would want her to explain it. Check. Three, get PT to tell her why he had really taken the pro bono job. That one she was still working on.

"Ellie!" Addison came running out of the hospital and Ellie cringed. "Hey, are you alright?"

Ellie managed a smile and nodded. "Yeah. I'm just waiting for PT."

Addison nodded. "Okay. Uh, so I know George was going to take you out to dinner tonight, but something came up, so he gave us his reservation. I thought that since we haven't been able to go out to dinner every night like normal…"

Ellie genuinely grinned. "Yeah. That sounds great Addie."

"Okay. The reservation is for seven. Does that work for you?"

"Yeah. Why don't you meet me at the hotel?"

Addison nodded. "Okay, sure." Addison smiled. "I'll see you later." Ellie nodded and as Addison walked away she heard footsteps behind her.

"Hey." PT said, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. "How are you?"

Ellie smiled. "Good. Look, I'm sorry I bailed last night, but I just…"

"It's okay. I shouldn't have sprung that on you. I'm the one that should be sorry."

Ellie looked down. "Ready for lunch?"

PT nodded. "Sure. Is the food any good here?"

Ellie laughed as they walked in to the hospital. "Not really, but it's not horrible either." PT laughed, and then almost gasped as they headed up the stairs. "Ellie, there's something I have to tell you."

"Okay…"

"The first night I was here…I got really drunk, and I sort of had a one night stand…"

Ellie laughed. "Okay. PT, I don't care who you sleep with."

He nodded. "I think you might." Meredith came walking up to the duo, a grim look on her face. "Hi."

"Hi, Paul."

Ellie's eyes darted back and forth between her sister and her old friend. "No. No way. Not happening."

"El…"

"Oh. My. God." Ellie took a deep breath. "PT! Don't you remember her?"

Meredith gasped. "PT? As in…?"

"As in my high school boyfriend, yeah."

"I knew he looked familiar…" Meredith whispered.

"Ellie…I'm confused."

Ellie sighed. "I can't believe you didn't recognize the house."

"The house…?" PT gasped. "Oh my God. Merry?"

Meredith cringed at the childhood nickname she had received from Ellie's friends. "It's Meredith. I haven't gone by Merry since Ellie moved out."

PT stared. "Oh…I can't believe I slept with your sister."

Ellie scoffed. "Me neither. I can't believe you two didn't recognize each other!"

Meredith stared. "El…I was 15 the last time I saw PT…how in the hell is he supposed to remember what I looked like 12 years ago? Besides…we were both very, very drunk."

Ellie shook her head. "This is not happening. I'm sorry, PT, but I just…I know this shouldn't bother me that much, but considering who my sister is, it does. We're going to have to do lunch another time. I'm not going to be able to eat anything, or look at you…"

"What about dinner tonight?" PT asked as she walked away.

Ellie shook her head. "I'm having dinner with Addison. I'll call you or something." Ellie said quickly before rounding the corner.

"What did she mean, 'considering who my sister is'?"

Meredith cringed. "Nothing. It's…she has a problem with the way I deal with my issues."

PT nodded. "Okay. Sure. Um…I'm going to go. It was good to see you again…I guess."

Meredith nodded. "Look, Paul…I know I kicked you out yesterday morning, but…if you want to do lunch or something…you were the only one of her friends that actually talked to me when I was sober…"

PT laughed. "Yeah…how about dinner tonight? I don't have any plans, do you?"

Meredith shrugged. "I'm on call, but you could always come to the hospital."

PT nodded. "Okay. What time?"

"7:30?" PT nodded. "Okay."

"I'll see you then." Meredith nodded and smiled as PT headed down the stairs and out of the hospital. Maybe being on call that night wasn't going to be as bad as she had originally thought.

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

"I thought you talked to Richard about that nurse." Addison said, a grin on her face as Derek shed his fourth pair of vomit covered scrubs in the last two days and slipped on a new pair.

"I did." He said, splashing water on his face. "But Richard can't fire her just because she throws up. She might just be sick."

Addison rolled here eyes. "Right."

Derek shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. Until Richard believes that she really has a problem, I'm going to smell like vomit."

"Yum." Addison said, wrinkling her nose. Derek laughed. "What? I like the smell of vomit."

"Uh-huh." Derek grinned and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'll keep that in mind."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Good. Because you know, I've always wanted vomit-scented perfume."

Derek cocked one eyebrow. "Yeah, sure." Addison laughed. "This conversation is so weird."

"All of our conversations used to be like this."

Derek smiled. "True." Derek looked around. "Hmmm…empty locker room." He said, raising his eyebrows.

"No. You still smell like vomit. It's sickening."

Derek laughed and then his lips formed a small pout. "I thought you liked the smell of vomit." He said, pulling her close to him by her waist.

"Blech. No." Derek kissed her hard, causing her knees to go weak. "Although…if you take a shower…"

Derek grinned. "You wanna take one with me?"

Addison raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to speak when the door opened.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Izzie poked her head in and her eyes widened. "Woah. Sorry."

Addison laughed. "It's okay, Stevens. What's going on?"

Izzie looked at the Drs. Shepherd, neither one pulling back from the other; completely different from how they had been just a few months before. "Um…there's a woman down in the ER…she collapsed at work this morning, and she's 12 weeks pregnant. We've gotten her stabilized, but…"

Addison nodded. "I'm coming." Izzie left the locker room and Derek wrinkled his nose.

"Okay, so that wasn't at all awkward."

Addison laughed. "She'll get over it. I have to go, but I'll take a rain check on that shower."

Derek grinned. "I should let Nurse Annie know. I may be able to get her to vomit on me again."

Addison wrinkled her nose. "Ew." Addison left the locker room with a smile on her face. It felt good to have conversations like that with Derek again.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie and Addison walked in to The Melting Pot, both exhausted from the day they'd had.

"Do you have a reservation?" The hostess asked, smiling.

"Yeah. It's under O'Malley." Addison said. "For two."

"Sure, I see it. Come with me." Addison and Ellie followed the hostess to a table and sat down across from each other. "Enjoy your dinner."

Ellie grinned. "Thanks." As the hostess walked away, Ellie turned to Addison. "Have you ever been here?"

Addison shook her head. "Nope."

Ellie sighed. "Liar. You came here with Mark."

Addison stared. "God. How do you do that?"

"You used to be able to do it too."

"You wont let me anymore."

Ellie sighed. "I'm trying, Addison."

Addison nodded. "I know." She sighed. "You lied to me too."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You told me that you didn't have a nightmare last night."

"I didn't."

"Ellie…"

Ellie grimaced. "Fine. I'm going to kill George."

"Don't kill George. He was just looking out for you."

Ellie sighed. "Fine. I didn't sleep through the night. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Ellie…the nightmare about the accident that killed your dad is the one thing you'll never talk about. Why not?"

"Because you'll think I'm horrible."

"Ellie, it was not your fault."

"Yeah, it was."

"El…"

"Addison, you don't even know what happened!"

Addison sighed. "Yes I do. George told me."

Ellie gaped. "George told you!"

"Ellie, don't be upset. He's looking out for you. He doesn't want you to get hurt."

Ellie shook her head. "Man, this day just keeps getting better and better. First, you talk about Orcas Island, which makes me tweak out, then Meredith and PT, and now…"

"Wait. Whoa. What do you mean 'Meredith and PT'? What happened?"

Ellie grimaced. "Remember Meredith's inappropriate man from a couple nights ago?" Addison nodded. "It was PT."

Addison's eyes popped. "No way."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh my god! Didn't they realize…?"

"I guess not. What bothers me the most is that, well, one, they didn't really seem to care, and two, they knew each other when Meredith was 13 years old! It's weird…"

Addison nodded. "Yeah, I would say so. I'm guessing lunch was cancelled?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, it was." Ellie shuddered. "It's so weird!" Ellie made a face and Addison burst in to laughter as the waiter came up to the table.

"Good evening, ladies, my name is Jacob, and I'll be your waiter this evening. Would you like to start off with something to drink?"

* * *

**7:30 P.M.**

"Hey." PT came up behind Meredith in the cafeteria and tapped her on the shoulder. "Is Ellie still mad at you?"

Meredith nodded. "She hasn't spoken to me since this afternoon. Not even during a surgery. She's being a child about it."

PT laughed. "That's Ellie for you. She overreacts about everything."

Meredith laughed. "You're telling me. She's been driving me crazy ever since she got here."

PT smiled. "How about we spend tonight getting your mind off of Ellie, eh? We'll catch up on what you've been doing since I last saw you…"

Meredith smiled. "Okay, sure." Meredith and PT stood in line, neither sure what was going to come of their evening together, but both positive that it would be a good thing.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous!"

"Here we are now, entertain us."

"I feel stupid and contagious…"

"Here we are now, entertain us!"

"A mulatto."

"An albino."

"A mosquito."

"My Libido."

"Yeah!' Ellie linked her arm with Addisons as they made their way down the Seattle street. Both women were too drunk to drive, and too drunk to realize that they were wandering the streets of Seattle at midnight. "Hey Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"We did we like Nirvana so much?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. Probably because before we met, we didn't have anyone to share that with, because the kind of people we hung out with hated Nirvana."

Ellie stared. "How are you profound right now?"

Addison laughed. "I'm not profound."

"Whatever. You're profound."

Addison rolled her eyes, which caused her to stumble. "Don't roll your eyes when you're drunk."

"Good idea."

"I haven't been this drunk since…" Addison sighed. "I can't remember."

Ellie laughed. "Hey, me neither. Hey!" Ellie smiled. "My hotel!" Neither woman could remember the address of Ellie's hotel, and since there were three Sheratons in Seattle, the cab driver had dropped them off on 1st avenue, and they'd walked 4 blocks before they found the hotel.

"Good. Inside." Addison dragged Ellie across the street and they stumbled up the steps and in to the hotel. But once they were inside, their fun ended. Immediately inside, in the open elevator, was Meredith and PT, kissing.

"I thought she was on call tonight." Ellie said, staring.

"Me too." Addison and Ellie headed towards the elevator and as the door shut Meredith looked up and locked eyes with Ellie. Though there was hurt in Ellie's eyes, Merediths held revenge, and it was all Ellie could do not to vomit as the elevator doors closed.

**What do you guys think? I hope y'all liked this one too! REVIEW PLEASE!**

**- Mel.**


	19. Falling Apart

**So, I got an awesome reaction to the last chapter, which totally made me smile, although some of you didn't like the way I was treating/portraying Meredith. No offense, but I can't stand the way she acts like she wants everyone to be sorry for her…it drives me nuts.**

**Hey…two days until _Grey's_.**

**Chapter Title: "Falling Apart" by Screeching Weasel**

**Half Love**

"**Falling Apart"**

_I'm in a dream because everything seems  
__Like it's moving through some kind of fog  
__I try to explain but the words come out strange  
__And I don't know what I'm doing wrong  
_'_Cause I'm in my own world and you're not a part of it  
__I'm in my own world it's falling apart –  
_"_Falling Apart"  
__By Screeching Weasel_

**February 11th, 2006**

**5:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke with a start, her head pounding. There hadn't been any nightmares, but every time she closed her eyes she saw Meredith and PT, and it was killing her. Addison was lying next to her, out cold, so Ellie rolled out of bed, dug her phone out of her purse, and went in to the bathroom.

"Hello?"

"Hey…it's me."

"Ellie!" Even though the volume of Weiss' voice made her cringe, the excitement in it made her smile. "How are you?"

"I'm pretty good."

"How are Addison and Derek?"

"They're going well."

"Good." Weiss cleared his throat. "Let me get Savvy for you."

"Thanks Weiss." As Ellie waited for Weiss to get Savvy, she tossed her hair in to a bun, turned off the lights and closed her eyes.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sav."

"Ellie…Hi! How's it going?"

Ellie sighed. "Okay I guess. Everything's kind of falling apart."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, my sister hates me because I'm so close to Addison, and yet I can't seem to get as close to Addison as I was because I won't let myself forgive her…plus my sister is hooking up with my old best friend from high school, I'm sleeping in a hotel because Meredith doesn't like that I'm dating her friend so she kicked me out, and Addison recently told me that she thought I was in love with Derek."

Savvy sighed. "Ouch."

"You're telling me. I don't know what to do, Sav. I'm trying with Addie, but she's also trying to work on her relationship with Derek, and I'm not going to get between that…"

"Ellie, stop. What did you tell Weiss and I when you left?"

"I don't know…"

"You told us that each person has two counterpoints…one male and one female, right?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah."

"And that you hadn't found your male counterpoint yet, but you'd found your female…Addison, and you weren't going to lose that, and that's why you agreed to go to Seattle…remember that?"

"Yeah, Savvy, but…"

"No buts, Eliot. I know what it was like for both you and Addison when the two of you weren't speaking, and not only were you damn pathetic, but you were both losing your minds. You need each other, Ellie, and you have to figure out what to do to fix it."

"I guess…"

"Remember when you were so mad at Derek for leaving New York, and leaving you to deal with Addison and Mark, that you couldn't talk about him without gagging?"

"Yeah."

"You wrote him a three page letter, right? And then burned it? And then you were okay, right?"

Ellie sighed. "Are you suggesting that I do that with Addison?"

"I'm suggesting that you do something. You're going to be miserable for the rest of your life if you don't fix it somehow." Savvy sighed. "As far as your sister goes…man, I dunno. My sister and I were always very close."

"Different situation, Sav. You grew up with your sister, and your sister didn't sleep with your best friends husband."

Savvy laughed. "True. Maybe you should start with Addison, and then move on to Meredith."

"Probably."

"Other than that, you're doing good, right?"

Ellie grinned. "Yeah, Savvy, I'm doing really well. I signed a contract with Seattle Grace, and I'm dating this fantastic guy named George…"

"That's great, Ellie."

"And Derek and Addison are going really well too."

Savvy laughed. "Good. That's great. Look, babe, I have to go, I have to get to work, but call us more, okay? We love talking to you…and get Addison to pick up the damn phone."

Ellie laughed. "I'm working on it."

"I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Savvy. Tell Weiss I miss him, and I'll call you guys later."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Ellie shut her phone and curled up on the floor. The letter of forgiveness had worked with Derek, but would it work with Addison?

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

"Addie…Addison…" Ellie sat on the edge of the bed, dressed and ready for work, trying to get her hung-over best friend to open her eyes. "I've been up for four hours you fool. Move it."

"No yelling."

Ellie giggled. "I'm not yelling."

Addison rolled on to her side and opened one eye. "It's bright."

"Of course it's bright you idiot, it's nine a.m."

Addison groaned. "How the hell have you been up for four hours?"

Ellie shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." Ellie moved her legs, bouncing up and down on the bed. "Come on, Addie. Get up."

"Don't bounce."

"Don't bounce, don't yell." Ellie said, mimicking Addison. "Move it or lose it, Shepherd. Lets go."

"Why are you being so mean?"

Ellie laughed. "I'm not being mean. It's 9 o'clock. I have to be at the hospital to give my interns their rounds in 30 minutes, and if I don't get you up before I leave, you'll never wake up, which means you'll never get to work, and then Richard and Derek will yell at me, so move it."

Addison groaned and sat up. "There. Is that better?"

Ellie smiled. "Much. I have to go, so I'll see you later."

"Lunch?"

"Sure."

"How many days have we skipped?"

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Gift wise?" Addison nodded. "Days 9 and 10."

"We've skipped a lot of stuff this year."

"Don't worry about it."

"We swore we wouldn't ever let anything compromise the tradition…"

Ellie sighed. "Addie…stop. It's okay. We're in a new place, we don't know our coworkers as well…we're just now getting our friendship restored. It's okay that some things are going by the wayside. Just…don't worry about it." Ellie stood. "I have to go. There's a key on the counter in the bathroom incase you need it." Ellie slid on sunglasses. "I'll see you at the hospital."

"You're wearing sunglasses?"

"Hey. Just because I've been awake four hours doesn't mean I'm not hung-over. Plus…that sun is damn bright." Addison smiled as Ellie left the hotel room and then closed her eyes and placed her head on the pillow. 30 seconds later the door flung open. "Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd!" Addison's eyes popped open, her head pounding. "Do not go back to sleep."

Addison groaned. "Damn it."

"I'm not kidding." Ellie sighed. "And to think…you're the older one."

"What does that mean?" Addison asked, still not moving from her place on the bed.

Ellie's head poked around the corner and she flipped on every possible light. "It means, get up!"

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"I still hate you for waking me up this morning." Addison said, sitting down next to Ellie and adjusting her sunglasses. "That was horrible."

"Whatever." Ellie slid the sunglasses on top of her head and then changed her mind and put them over her eyes. "Ow."

"Yeah, well, now you know how I felt when you flipped on every light in the hotel room."

Ellie laughed. "Yes, but who would you rather have wake you up? Me, or Derek?"

Addison wrinkled her nose. "Oh…you. Definitely you." Ellie grinned as George and Derek came up to the table.

"Mind if we join you?" George asked, kissing Ellie's forehead and sitting down next to her.

"Well, you're okay, but Derek kind of smells." Ellie said, wrinkling her nose. "Can you sit over there?" She asked, motioning away from the table.

Derek stared at her. "Bite me."

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "Ouch. Bad morning, Dr. Shepherd?"

"It was fine until you showed up. Now my whole day is ruined." He snapped, half grinning. George looked at Addison, his eyebrows raised.

"This is normal." She said, lifting her sunglasses so that she could look him in the eye. "I would get used to it if I were you."

"You know Derek, the fact that you have to resort to insulting a female that's younger than you shows how low your self-esteem is."

"At least I don't have to wear sunglasses because I can't handle the sun."

"Your wife is wearing sunglasses too, you moron."

Derek stared. "My wife looks cute in sunglasses. You, on the other hand…"

Ellie shook her head. "It's okay, I understand. You're afraid to admit how gorgeous I look in these, so you have to insult me. I get it."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "You wish you looked gorgeous in those. You probably would look gorgeous if you couldn't still see your face."

"Say what you want, Derek, all I know is, the nurses don't get so repulsed by me that they vomit all over me. That seems to be your issue."

Addison sighed. "Are you two about finished?"

"If we have to be." Ellie said, sighing. "But I could pull out so much more…"

"I know you could." Addison said, grinning. "But you're acting like teenagers. I mean really…"

"You're acting like teenagers…" Ellie mimicked. "This coming from the woman who whined about getting up at nine a.m."

"Whatever. The only reason you were up is because you were overreacting to something and couldn't sleep." Addison snapped, not meaning for it to sound as bad as it did.

"I wasn't overreacting." Ellie hissed, standing. "You just don't get it." Ellie left the table before Addison could react.

"Wait…Ellie!" Addison sighed. "That came out wrong."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Yeah, ya think?"

"Shut up." Addison hissed.

"What happened?" George asked.

"Last night, we got to the hotel and…" Addison sighed. "We saw Meredith with PT. It wouldn't be as horrible for her as it was if PT wasn't the second one of Ellie's best friends that Meredith has slept with in the last year."

George nodded. "Okay…I'm going to go talk to her."

"Do you know where she went?" Derek asked as George stood.

"Yeah…I know."

* * *

Ellie sat in the NICU next to the baby she had performed surgery on the day before. The little girl gripped Ellie's finger as Ellie watched her. Her mother, a 17-year-old who was giving her up for adoption, had named the little girl Madison. 

"Hey." George came in behind her and pulled up a chair next to her. "Are you okay?"

Ellie sighed. "I guess. I just…I wish Meredith would get her act together, and stop doing stupid shit." Ellie looked down. "It wasn't so much that she slept with PT, it was the look in her eyes when she saw me. She was staring at me with this pure hatred in her eyes, like she wanted revenge for something." Ellie took a deep breath. "It hurt. It was like Addison and Mark all over again."

George raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Ellie shrugged. "I can't help but think that I did something that caused Addison to want revenge, and that's why she slept with Mark. To get Derek's attention and to hurt me. The look in Meredith's eyes was like the look Addison gave me right after Derek and I found out. This 'you deserved it you bitch' look."

George nodded. "I think you read in to Addisons look too much, but with Meredith…I don't know what to tell you."

Ellie nodded. "No one ever knows what to tell me when it comes to Meredith. No one understands Meredith." Ellie played with Madison's fingers, staring in to the little girls eyes. "I just wish Meredith could get over it."

"Get over what?" George asked, watching Ellie interact with the baby.

"The fact that Addison and I are so close. It's like she thinks that I can't be her sister and Addison's friend…but that's not true. Addison could be her friend too, if Meredith would just get over it." Ellie sighed. "I'll be fine George. You should really get back to work."

George nodded. "Okay." George placed a soft kiss on her lips and left the NICU, leaving Ellie alone with the baby.

"You're pretty strong, aren't you?" Ellie whispered, her hand moving back and forth, Madison's tiny fist still wrapped around her pointer finger. "I wish I was as strong as you are. I wish I had your stamina."

"What makes you think you're not as strong as she is?" Miranda Bailey came in to the NICU, her young son in her arms. "You must be Eliot Grey."

Ellie nodded. "And you're Miranda Bailey." Ellie reached out her left hand and half shook Bailey's outstretched right hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too." Bailey sat down in the nearest rocking chair and held her son to her chest. "Now, what makes you think you're not as strong as this baby?"

Ellie laughed. "This child can withstand anything. I performed spinal surgery on her yesterday, and she survived it…she was born two months early." Ellie sighed. "I can't survive two weeks with my sister, and I'm 30 years old." Ellie shook her head. "I don't know if I can handle all of this."

"All of what?"

"All of everything. Transferring states, signing a new contract with a new hospital, seeing my sister everyday, forgiving Addison, starting this new thing with George…I don't know if I can do it all at once."

Bailey leaned forward in the chair, her son held to her chest. "You're a Grey, are you not?"

"Well…not really."

Bailey sighed. "Okay, but you are the oldest child of Ellis Grey, correct?" Ellie nodded. "Ellis could withstand anything. It's obvious that she has passed her confidence and her talent on to you…Meredith is a good doctor, but she doesn't know it yet. She's as competitive as her mother, but not as confident and talented. You got that part." Ellie smiled. "I never worked with Ellis, but I've heard enough about her to know that she was confident, talented, competitive, and she never let anyone pull her down. You just have to think about it that way."

Ellie sighed. "Ellis also never had time for anyone else."

"Then don't be like her in that respect." Bailey stood, smiling. "I've heard good things about you from Richard and the Shepherds. Don't underestimate yourself. You can be just as strong as that child, Grey."

Ellie smiled. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right." Bailey said, heading out of the NICU. "I'm always right."

Ellie grinned and watched her go. "Miranda?" Bailey turned around, her eyebrows raised. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Grey." Bailey grinned. "Anytime."

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

Addison walked down the hallway, trying to locate Ellie, when she ran in to Meredith.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Grey."

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." Meredith said, looking away.

"Have a good night last night?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Did Eliot send you to interrogate me about being with PT?"

Addison shook her head. "No. It was just a question."

"Well, I'm not having this discussion with you." Meredith said, continuing to walk down the hall. "If Eliot wants to talk to me about it, she knows where to find me." Meredith rounded the corner and Addison sighed. She wanted to help Ellie have a good relationship with Meredith, but talking to the girl was so difficult.

"Hey, you alright?" Derek asked, coming out of a patient's room. "Have you found Ellie yet?"

Addison shook her head. "No. I know that George talked to her, and that Miranda Bailey talked to her, but I don't know where she is now. She was in the NICU, with the Henderson baby that she performed spinal surgery on yesterday, but by the time I got there she wasn't there."

"She'll find you when she wants to talk to you." Addison nodded and pulled her sunglasses out of her jacket pocket and slid them on. "Still not feeling well?"

"No, I'm okay, I just like wearing them. It hides the fact that I did something stupid."

"You didn't do anything stupid." Derek said, pulling Addison in to the nearest supply closet and taking her sunglasses off. "You just opened your mouth. She'll be fine."

Addison smiled, looking deep in to Derek's blue-grey eyes. "I hope you're right."

Derek laughed. "I'm always right, Addison."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Oh please." She sighed and wrapped her arms around him, falling in to his body as he hugged her tight.

"Addie…?"

"I just need you to hold me, Derek."

He smiled. "Okay." He breathed in deep, taking in the fruity scent of her hair. "What smell is that?"

"What?"

"Your hair, Addie…"

"Mangoes. It's my conditioner."

Derek breathed in deep. "I like it."

Addison laughed. "Oh well, good." Derek leaned against the wall, sliding down it, bringing Addison with him. "I want to stay in here with you forever."

Derek grinned. "Me too Addie. Me too."

* * *

**11:00 P.M.**

Ellie sat in the NICU for the second time that day, her eyes watching Madison Henderson. She was getting attached, and even though she knew she shouldn't, she needed someone to hold on to. She'd avoided Addison almost all day, but after sitting in the on-call room for an hour around 6 o'clock, Ellie had finally been able to write that letter Savvy had been talking about. She had written out all of her fears to Addison, everything she was afraid would happen again, or would never happen, and all the things that hurt her. And after writing almost 6 pages, Ellie had forgiven her. Instead of burning it, she had saved it, but she hadn't been able to find Addison, so she'd had George deliver something for her. It wouldn't be long before Ellie and Addison would really be headed back towards their previous relationship.

* * *

Addison and Derek pulled up outside the trailer, surprised to see George sitting on the porch. 

"Hi George." Addison said, getting out of the car.

"I was just supposed to leave this, but I wanted to actually hand it to you. Especially because you may need a ride back to the hospital, and I'm headed that way anyway."

Addison raised her eyebrows as George handed her an envelope. "What is it?" She asked.

George shrugged. "I don't know. I was just supposed to give it to you." Derek came around the side of the car and slid one arm around Addisons waste as she opened the envelope. There was a single sheet of paper inside with three words written on it in Ellie's very distinct handwriting.

_I forgive you._

Addison smiled. "Hey George, how about that ride?"

* * *

Addison walked in to the NICU, smiling as she saw Ellie holding on to the Henderson baby. "How's she doing?" Addison asked. 

Ellie turned around. "Good. She's doing good."

Addison grinned. "That's great." Addison sat down in the same chair Miranda Bailey had been in earlier and leaned towards Ellie. "I saw George."

Ellie grinned. "I figured." Ellie took a deep breath, turning towards Addison, Madison's fist still gripping her finger. "I talked to Savvy this morning, and she reminded me of a couple of things. The first was that I've always been a firm believer of every person having two counterpoints – a male counterpoint and a female counterpoint."

Addison nodded. "Me too."

Ellie grinned. "When I left New York, Weiss asked me why I had agreed to come here if I was so upset with you. I told him the counterpoint thing, and then said that you were my female counterpoint…and that there was no way I was going to give up on you."

Addison smiled. "You know you're my female counterpoint, right?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." She smiled. "The second thing Savvy reminded me was that when I was upset with Derek for leaving New York; for leaving me to deal with you and Mark, I ended up writing him this really long letter…and then I burned it. It was something my Dad used to do when he needed to forgive someone. He's write down everything he wanted to tell them, and then burn it, and it was like all of the horrible things were gone. I did that with Derek, and it worked, so Savvy suggested that I try it with you." Ellie swallowed. "So today, I did. It was six pages."

"In your tiny handwriting?" Ellie nodded. "God, Ellie, I…"

"Don't. Don't say anything. I forgave you already. I didn't burn it, because one day I may let you read it, but I did forgive you. I want us to have that relationship we used to have, the one that people thought was really weird, because I loved having that relationship with you." Addison smiled. "So I'm taking that step to get rid of all the bad crap and start over."

Addison was grinning, but tears were in her eyes. "I just want you to know, I really am sorry. Hurting you was the last thing on my mind."

Ellie nodded. "I know." She wiped tears from her eyes and looked over at the baby. "She's so strong."

Addison sighed. "Ellie, you can't get attached."

"I'm not."

Addison scoffed. "Liar."

Ellie looked over at Addison, smiling. "Okay, maybe a little." Addison shook her head. "What?"

"I forgot what it was like to be able to tell what you're thinking." Ellie looked down. "You want to adopt her, don't you?" Ellie looked over at the baby, and then back at Addison, her eyes revealing her inner secrets. "Ellie…"

"Addie, don't. Please don't. I know it's a long shot, but…"

Addison slid her chair closer to Ellie and looked her in the eye. "You could do it, I just don't know if it's the best idea." Ellie nodded. "But don't disregard the idea. It's possible."

Ellie smiled. "Anything's possible." Addison nodded and the two women sat in silence, watching the baby. They didn't speak once in the hour that Addison sat there, but their silence spoke volumes. They were okay.

**Alright…what do you think? Man, I hope you guys like it! – Mel.**


	20. New Day

**Okay, I don't usually respond to someone within a chapter, but I couldn't reply to this review…**

**Evey – I know, I have been a little harsh with Meredith. That's mostly because she annoys the crap out of me. Except in last nights episode. She's starting to grow up, which is cool. Also, the two counterpoints thing…I myself have always been a firm believer that every person has at least two soul mates…one that is your lover (so in my case, male), and one that's your best friend (could be male or female). I came to this conclusion when I began to wonder how you knew someone was your best friend, and someone told me it was because you clicked with them and they knew you better than you even knew yourself. It made me realize that you have two soul mates, or counterpoints, because usually your spouse is the one that knows you the best, but sometimes you need someone on the outside of your marriage. So basically, you are destined to have a best friend and a spouse…God has both of these people picked out for you from the beginning, you just have to meet them. Does that make sense? If it doesn't, let me know.**

**Also…how much did I love _Grey's_ last night? So much. Derek totally got McDreamy back right at the end, and as much as I loved George, Meredith was right. It takes two to make a horrible sexual mistake, so he can't just keep ignoring her. Well…he can, but he shouldn't. She's sorry. I liked her last night. She's showing that she is truly an adult. And Derek is trying! Sorry…that made me shriek. I was so excited when he finally admitted that Addison wasn't the whole reason that their marriage fell apart.**

**Chapter Title: "New Day" by Katerine**

**Half Love**

"**New Day"**

_It's a new day and it feels like  
__the first day of my life.  
__It's a new day and I wonder  
__can't you see it in my eyes?  
__So don't look back  
__You can never look back.  
__I'm gonna leave my tears behind me.  
__Don't look back  
__I won't look back  
__Yesterday won't blind me. –  
_"_New Day"  
__By Katerine_

**February 12th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

There wasn't any better way to start Day Twelve. Addison awoke in the arms of her husband, his fingers threaded through her hair, the dog lying at their feet. It was how they used to wake up every day...just, without the dog. Addison stared out the window, and sat up with a start.

"What the hell?" Addison rubbed her eyes, unsure if she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. "Derek." Addison shook him, trying to get him to open his eyes. "Derek, look."

Derek opened his eyes. "Addie? What?"

"Look outside."

Derek rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Whoa." The ground was covered in snow, almost an inch. "Did we know it was going to snow?"

Addison shook her head. "No." Addison slid out of bed and pulled sweats on over the pair of boxers she had slipped on after arriving home at 12:30 the night before. "Come on, Derek."

"What? Addison it's..." Derek grabbed his phone off of the bedside table. "It's 7:00 a.m."

"So? We have to be at the hospital in an hour, and it may not be here when we get off." Addison pouted her lip, pulling her jacket on. "Please?"

Derek sighed and rolled out of bed. "Fine. If I freeze to death..."

Addison laughed. "You won't freeze to death. We used to do this all the time." Derek pulled on sweats and a jacket and slipped boots on. "Besides, you love the snow."

Derek smiled. "You're right, I do." Derek followed Addison out of the trailer, grinning as the now falling snow landed on her red hair. Derek bent down and built a snow ball with his hands, packing it together and then chucking it at Addisons back.

Addison shrieked and turned around. "Derek!"

Derek feigned innocence. "What?"

"Don't try and play like someone else did it...there isn't anyone else here you moron."

Derek grinned. "So what if I threw the snowball. What're you going to do?" Addison grinned and bent down, packing together a snowball herself. "Oh right. You don't have any aim. Like I'm really scared of..." Derek's sentence sputtered to a stop as Addisons snowball hit him in the face. "You did not just hit me in the face."

"Uh...I'm pretty sure I did." Derek glared and then launched himself at Addison, who took off running around the side of the trailer. "Derek...no..." Derek reached for her waist, pulling her down in to the snow and then straddling her.

"You think you can mess with me and not receive the consequences? I don't think so, Dr. Shepherd. Not an option, my dear."

Addison glared. "Don't shove snow in my face Derek. You'll regret it, you know you will..." Addison shrieked as Derek shoved snow in her face, his laughter echoing in the open space. "Derek!"

"What? You can have Ellie take me down in the middle of the hallway, but me sticking snow in your face isn't okay?"

"First of all, you didn't stick, you shoved, and second, Ellie and I are not the same person."

Derek laughed. "I very much doubt that." Derek wiped the snow off of Addison's face and smiled. "You look gorgeous."

"Don't try the flattery thing, Derek."

"I'm serious, _Bella_. You look beautiful." Addison tried to keep a straight face but ended up grinning. "You do."

"You're not so bad yourself, Dr. Shepherd." He laughed and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Derek...I'm freezing." He grinned and stood, pulling her to her feet and leading her in to the trailer.

"I think..." He said, turning on the shower and shedding her coat and hat. "a hot shower will do you good."

Addison grinned. "I think it will be much better if you take it with me." Derek cocked one eyebrow and shed his own clothes, stepping in to the shower before Addison had even moved.

"It's really warm Addie." Derek poked his head around the corner of the curtain, water dripping from his face. "You'd better hurry before I waste all the hot water on myself." Addison grinned, shed her clothes and stepped in to the shower after Derek, letting the warm water heat her body. Derek sighed happily and placed his hands on Addison's waist. "Boy, do I love the snow."

* * *

Ellie woke with a start in the NICU, her finger feeling bare now that baby Madison wasn't holding on to it. Ellie looked in to the isolette and shrieked. 

"Dr. Grey?" The charge nurse came running in to the room, her eyes wide. "What's wrong?"

"Where…?" Ellie took a deep breath. "Where's Madison Henderson?"

"Nurse Megan has her."

"Nurse Megan?"

"She's the clinical specialist. Some tests needed to be run, and Dr. Shepherd said only to wake you if something was wrong."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. Just next time you're going to take the baby, leave a note or something." The nurse nodded and left the room, and Ellie leaned her head back.

"El? Are you alright?" Izzie came in to the room, causing Ellie to jump.

"I'm fine, Iz."

"Where's Madison?"

"The clinical specialist has her."

"Is she okay? Addison didn't do that thing..."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "That _thing_? What thing?"

"She had me sit in the NICU one night to watch a baby that she knew was going to die anyway...she told me that it would make me a better doctor..."

"No, Addison had nothing to do with this. The nurse just needed to run some tests on Madison, that's all." Ellie sighed. "You know, Addison was right. What she did...it will make you a better doctor. She knows from experience."

Izzie raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

Ellie nodded. "Richard did that to her while she was here. It made her a better doctor, even though she didn't speak to him for a year."

Izzie nodded. "Oh. Well, anyway, George asked me to let you know that it's snowing."

Ellie grinned. "It is?" Izzie nodded and Ellie raced to the window. "Will you sit here, and wait? Make sure everything is okay with Madison?" Izzie nodded and Ellie left the NICU, racing down the stairs and out in to the snow. George was waiting for her, a grin on his face.

"How did things go with Addison?" He asked, watching her as she sifted the snow through her fingers."

"Good." Ellie said, grinning. "Really good."

"That's great." George pulled Ellie in to a hug. "Do you like the snow?"

Ellie nodded. "I love the snow."

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Addison stepped out of her car, her boots crunching in the snow. Derek was getting out of the other side, and took her gloved hand in his own as she came around the side of the car. They were very late, but they didn't really care. They headed to the front doors in a comfortable silence, not noticing 4 of the 5 interns and Ellie playing in the snow a few feet down.

"Hey!" Cristina tried to yell to get Addison's attention, but Ellie clamped her hand over her face, shoving snow in to Cristina's wide open mouth. Cristina spit it out as soon as Ellie's hand moved. "What was that for?"

"Don't say anything." Ellie said, gathering two snowballs and handing one to Izzie. "Everybody be quiet." Ellie and Izzie crept towards the front door, keeping their distance behind the Shepherds. "You take Addison, I'll take Derek." Ellie whispered. "As soon as you hit her, hide. Find a way to build at least one more snowball as fast as you can, and take aim again."

Izzie grinned. "You really like this kind of stuff, don't you?"

Ellie smiled. "I love this kind of stuff." Ellie and Izzie crept in to position behind Derek and Addison, took aim, and let go of their snowballs. As soon as Ellie's snowball hit Derek in the back of the head, and Izzie's hit Addison in the upper back, both women ducked in to the nearest hiding place, building snowballs again.

"Crap." Derek shook his head, trying to shake the snow off, and brushed the snow off of Addisons back. "We should have watched for her."

"Well, she had help, we know that. She couldn't have hit both of us…" Addison froze when a snowball hit her in the side as one hit Derek in the lower leg. "That's it. Game on." Addison set her purse to the side behind a bush, spotting Izzie in the process, and bent down to build a snowball. Ellie and Izzie were both too busy building to notice, and Derek managed to creep up behind Ellie and gather a pile of snow in his arms. Addison decked Izzie in the back of the head, and before Ellie could turn around, Derek had dumped snow all over her.

"You did not just do that." She said, spitting snow out of her mouth.

"I believe…yeah, I did." Derek said, grinning. Ellie glared and took him out at the knees, slamming his head in to a pile of snow. "Damn."

"Don't mess, Derek." Ellie stood, brushing off her shoulders, only to be hit in the upper back with a large snowball. Ellie spun around, looking Addison in the eye. "You shouldn't have done that." Ellie said, grinning and shaking her head. "You don't mess with me, Add…" Ellie shrieked as Derek wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in to the snow. "Derek!" He laughed, burying her face in the snow. Eventually Ellie was able to shove herself off of the ground, and took off running, sliding past Addison and to where Cristina and Alex were standing. Ellie built a large snowball and turned around to take aim at Derek, who pulled Addison in front of him. Ellie laughed. "As if I'm not going to throw this because I might hit Addison." Derek jumped from behind Addison to behind George, and Ellie shook her head. "That's not going to stop me, Derek. George is on my side. He'll move. And even if he doesn't, nothing can stop me." Ellie reared back and took aim, only to be interrupted by the charge nurse from the NICU.

"Dr. Grey?" Ellie turned her arm still in the air. "It's the Henderson baby." Ellie dropped the snowball and took off running towards the NICU, George on her heels.

"The Henderson baby?" Derek asked, brushing snow off of his arms.

"The preemie Ellie performed spinal surgery on two days ago." Izzie said, following Derek and Addison in to the hospital.

"Doesn't Ellie want to adopt her?" Derek asked, looking at Addison, who was vigorously shaking her head. "What?"

George froze before he hit the stairs and turned around. "Adopt?"

* * *

Ellie sat next to the isolette, one hand on Madison's head, and one hand hovering above the baby, her pointer finger gripped by the small fist of the preemie. 

"How is she doing?" Addison asked, coming in to the NICU.

"Fine." Ellie sighed. "She stopped breathing, but it was just apnea. She'll be okay."

"Good." Addison sat down and sighed. "Derek spilled."

Ellie hung her head. "What did George say?"

"I think the only word that came out of his mouth was, 'adopt?'. He did look a little pale, though."

Ellie put her head down on her arm. "Jeez. I…ugh…"

"He didn't mean to."

"No, I know. I just…George and I have only been dating for six days…" Ellie looked up at Addison. "That's a lot to spring on him. He's younger than me too…he probably doesn't want a kid yet, and I certainly can't expect him to want to help me after six days…"

Addison laughed. "Ellie…I don't think that's what he thought. I think he was just surprised, that's all." Ellie nodded. "Especially after…"

Ellie sighed. "The miscarriage?"

Addison nodded. "You made it seem like you didn't want a baby, and now…" Ellie locked eyes with Addison. "I know…but they don't. George especially." Ellie nodded. "You should really tell him."

"Tell him what?" George asked, coming in to the NICU. Addison locked eyes with Ellie and stood, leaving the NICU. "Was that one of those conversations without words?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Sit down, okay?" George sat and pulled the rocking chair closer to Ellie, almost falling out of it. She laughed. "Don't kill yourself." George grinned and Ellie took her free hand out of the isolette and took hold of George's hand. "George…you should have heard this from me."

He nodded. "Yeah, uh, hearing it from Derek wasn't exactly the best thing."

Ellie smiled. "I'm really sorry. Look, George, I know the way I acted when I was pregnant was like I didn't want the baby, but…" Ellie sighed. "I did, but once I found out that it was highly unlikely the baby would survive, I tried to make myself think I didn't want it so that it wouldn't be as hard when I lost it." Tears began to run down Ellie's cheeks, and George reached up with his free hand and wiped them away. "I know you aren't ready for this…I'm not expecting you to adopt her with me, or anything like that, and if it's too much, I totally understand, but I just, I'd probably be adopting her anyway, and…"

"Eliot, stop babbling." George looked down. "You're right, I'm not ready for this, but…I really like you, El, and if you're going to have a child, then…the kid is part of the package." Ellie grinned. "If you already had Madison before we met, it certainly wouldn't stop me from dating you then, so it's not going to stop me now." Ellie grinned and George kissed her, placing one hand on her neck and the other in her hair. Addison and Derek watched from outside the NICU, their fingers intertwined.

"Do you think she'll be happy with him?" Derek asked, leaning against the wall.

Addison sighed. "He won't hurt her, I know that. And if he doesn't hurt her…then yeah, she'll be happy."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

"Addison said you needed me for something?"

Derek nodded. "Look." Derek pointed to the MRI of one Gillian Brunswick, his most recent patient. "Do you see that?"

"Is that a tumor?" Ellie asked, leaning towards the screen. "No…that's not a tumor."

Derek shook his head. "No it's not. See the veins? It's a hemangioma."

Ellie's eyes widened. "She has Cavernous malformation?" Derek nodded. "Are you going to perform surgery?"

"Yeah. It's easily accessible, and she's been having seizures."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. Today?"

Derek shook his head. "No. I've offered her surgery, and she wants to wait until her husband gets back in to town, which is later this afternoon. But the surgery needs to be done as soon as possible."

Ellie sat down next to Derek. "How soon?"

Derek sighed. "Either tomorrow or Valentines Day. I don't want to wait too long."

Ellie looked down. "Okay. Um…do you know what day she would want?"

Derek shook his head. "No. Either day sucks."

Ellie laughed. "Why, Derek Shepherd, how pessimistic you're being. It can't be that bad."

"Do you remember the last time we did this surgery?" Ellie cringed. "It was a ten hour surgery."

"It might not be that long."

"El…"

Ellie sighed. "Fine. Let me know." Ellie left the room and headed down the hall and out in to the snow. Meredith was standing outside, letting the white flakes fall on her face. "Hey."

Meredith turned around. "Hi. How are you?"

Ellie shrugged. "Fine. You?"

Meredith sighed. "Okay. Look, Ellie, I'm sorry…"

Ellie shook her head. "Meredith, I'm the one that should be sorry. I was being a hypocrite. If I can date your friend, then you can date mine…"

Meredith shook her head. "No. I wasn't dating PT. I was sleeping with PT. And PT was using me to make you jealous. He's in love with you…and if I hadn't convinced him that there was no way you were trading George for him…he left."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Left?"

She nodded. "Yeah. There really was a job, but if there wasn't you…he wasn't going to move his kids up here."

Ellie nodded. "That's probably a good choice."

"Yeah." Meredith looked down. "You know, I've been pretty horrible to you lately. I just…I don't get the Addison thing, but I'm working on it. And I'm sorry…"

Ellie smiled. "It's okay Mere. I wasn't being very fair to you, expecting you to flat out understand that your sister is best friends with the woman who is married to the man that you love…"

Meredith shook her head. "Don't say that. Don't remind me."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"Are we okay?"

Ellie smiled. "Yeah. We'll be okay." Ellie looked down. "I have to ask you a question."

Meredith nodded. "Okay."

"You're best friends with Cristina, right?" Meredith nodded. "Let's say you haven't seen her in a while…6 months or so, okay?"

"Sure."

"And she's back in town right around her birthday. And the day after her birthday is…her anniversary with Burke."

"But..."

"Pretend, Mere."

Meredith laughed. "Okay."

"And say you and Burke get this surgery that has to be done within two days…either on her birthday, or on their anniversary. And Burke says that you have to help him choose. Which day do you choose? Her birthday or their anniversary?"

"Okay, so…which anniversary is it?"

Ellie shrugged. "Who cares?"

Meredith grinned. "It's just a special day?" Ellie nodded. "That's tough, El. I don't know."

Ellie sighed. "Me neither."

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

"Mr. Brunswick, it seems Gillian has Cavernous malformation. This means that a blood-filled mass that resembles a tumor has formed in her brain."

The man nodded. "Okay. What can you do?"

"Well, Dr. Grey and I have both performed this surgery twice…both times we were together, and basically what will happen is we'll remove the mass. If we don't, Gillian will continue to have seizures, and it could possibly lead to bleeding in the brain." Derek sighed. "The sooner the better."

"Matt, I think it's a good idea." Gillian said, squeezing her husband's hand.

He nodded. "Uh…Dr. Grey, can I speak to you outside for a moment?"

Ellie nodded. "Of course." Ellie lead him outside of Gillian's room and shut the door. "What can I help you with, Mr. Brunswick?"

"It's Matt." Ellie nodded. "Um…how good is Dr. Shepherd?"

Ellie smiled. "Matt…Dr. Shepherd performs surgeries similar to this everyday. We have both performed this exact surgery twice, and we were together…your wife is in very good hands, sir."

Matt nodded. "You're sure?"

"I'm positive. Dr. Shepherd knows what he's doing."

Matt sighed. "Okay." Ellie grinned and the two went back in to the room. "Dr. Shepherd…I'd like you to perform the surgery."

Derek smiled. "That's great. We won't do it today, because the surgery is about ten hours, and I'm sure you two would like to spend time together, but we need to do it as soon as possible. There is an OR open tomorrow and the day after, so it's up to you."

Matt took hold of Gillian's hand. "Isn't the day after tomorrow Valentines Day?" Derek nodded. "Are you okay with tomorrow?"

"Absolutely." Derek said. "Dr. Grey?"

Ellie swallowed, and then smiled. "Tomorrow is just perfect."

* * *

Ellie dragged her feet up the stairs and sat down in the stairwell. The Thirteen days had not gone well. None of their 11 year traditions had really stuck, not in the way they used to, and now Ellie was performing a 10 hour operation on their birthday. But she certainly wasn't going to let the patient down, and if she'd had the choice she wouldn't have done the surgery on Valentines Day anyway. Addison and Derek needed a good Valentines Day. 

"Hey." Addison came in to the stairwell and sat down next to Ellie. "Derek said you wanted to talk to me…I thought you might be here."

Ellie sighed. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay…actually, first, I have this really cool thing planned for lunch tomorrow…something like we used to do when you first started working at the hospital."

Ellie groaned. "Don't say that…Addison…Derek and I have to perform a ten hour surgery."

Addison grinned. "Cool. Is it one you've done before, or…?"

Ellie shook her head. "No, Addie, not cool. We're doing it tomorrow."

Addison stared. "Huh?"

Ellie nodded. "Starting at 10 am, Derek and I will be in surgery all day."

Addison grimaced. "Really?"

Ellie nodded. "I wish we weren't doing it tomorrow…Derek and I both do…but the patient would rather it be tomorrow than Valentines Day, and who am I to argue with that?" Ellie sighed. "I'm really sorry, Add…we're going to have to postpone all Day 13 traditions."

Addison nodded. "Okay." Addison placed her head on Ellie's shoulder and sighed. "We'll do it all on the fifteenth."

Ellie grinned. "Perfect."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"Dr. Grey?" Ellie stopped short outside the room of Madison's mother, taking a deep breath.

"Yes?" Ellie poked her head in, a smile on her face.

"I heard that you were considering adopting Madison."

Ellie smiled at the 17-year-old. "I'm thinking about it, Hannah."

Hannah smiled. "I think it would be good." Hannah sat up. "You would be way better for her than me."

Ellie looked down. "Hannah…you don't have to give her up."

Hannah nodded, tears in her eyes. "I do though. I can't take care of her. I want what's best for her."

Ellie smiled. "I know. They're going to bring you some files of parents that want to adopt…you'll get to choose…"

Hannah nodded. "Okay. Is your file in there?"

Ellie grinned. "Yeah, it is."

Hannah smiled. "Good. I'll see you later, Dr. Grey."

"Have a good night, Hannah." Ellie left the room, heading around the corner and running directly in to George.

"Hey." He said, pulling her in to a hug and kissing her lightly on the lips. "I haven't seen you since this morning."

Ellie nodded. "I know. Derek and I have a big surgery tomorrow, and I've been checking in on Madison…"

George nodded. "Addison told me about tomorrow. She wants the four of us to go out to dinner tonight."

Ellie grinned. "Okay. I get off in about an hour."

George smiled. "Great. I'll pick you up at the hotel at quarter to eight."

Ellie smiled. "Excellent."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

Ellie and George walked in to The 5 Spot together and spotted Addison and Derek in the corner booth right away.

"This place is great, Add…" Ellie said, sitting down across from Addison.

"Yeah, I like it. I thought it would be good." Ellie nodded. "So, I have some good news."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Really?" Addison nodded and handed Ellie a stack of papers. "What…?" Ellie looked down at the papers and realized that she was holding the adoption papers for Madison Henderson. "No way!"

Addison nodded. "Hannah chose you at about 7 o'clock…they tried to catch you before you left, but when they heard you and I were going to dinner together…"

Ellie grinned. "This is fantastic." Ellie turned to George. "I'm adopting a baby."

He nodded. "I know." He kissed her lightly, and then pulled back, looking deep in to her sea blue eyes. "You're going to do fantastic."

"He's right, El." Derek said. "You were always so good with…" Derek swallowed hard. "Kids."

Ellie grimaced. "Oh, Derek…we don't have to talk about this…"

He shook his head. "What happened with Katelynn was a long time ago. It's okay."

Addison nodded. "Ellie, don't worry about it. Kate was sick. Madison isn't. We pretty much knew it was going to happen."

Ellie looked down. "I didn't mean to bring up past…"

"Ellie, stop it." Derek said, smiling. "We're okay."

Ellie smiled. "Okay. Well…I'm going to ask you this now then…will you two be her godparents? The kid is going to need good godparents with me as a mother."

Addison laughed. "Absolutely, El."

Derek nodded. "Sure."

Ellie grinned. "Fantastic. Now, find me a pen. I'm signing these now." Addison reached in to her purse and handed Ellie a pen. Derek squeezed her hand as Ellie signed the papers and talked to George.

Addison looked at Derek, tears in her eyes. "I miss her."

He nodded and kissed her softly on the lips. "Me too, Addie. I do too."

**Okay, yes. It's a little choppy. But I hope you guys like it anyway. Let me know what you think! – Mel.**


	21. Happy Birthday Baby

**Thanks for all of your reviews on the last chapter…hope you like this one! Sorry this took me so long. Someone or a few people, got me ADDICTED to TI…you know, getting me addicted to that when I'm trying to finish this chapter was probably your worst idea ever, guys. You're a bunch of crackwhores.**

**Chapter Title: "Happy Birthday Baby" by Heavy Blinkers**

**Half Love**

"**Happy Birthday Baby"**

_Happy Birthday Baby  
__We'll burn the jukebox to the ground  
__Happy Birthday Baby  
__We'll tear to shred this awful town  
__We'll drink our weight in champagne  
__Make love 'til we both collapse  
__Make more trouble than we're worth –  
_"_Happy Birthday Baby"  
__By Heavy Blinkers_

**February 13th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

Addison woke slowly, her eyes unwilling to open. She reached for Derek and touched empty space. Addison finally opened her eyes and took a deep breath, a smile coming over her face. Derek was making German Pancakes. Her favorite. Addison crawled out of bed and padded in to the main room of the trailer.

"Derek?"

He turned around, a grin on his face. "You're supposed to be in bed."

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Supposed to be in bed?"

Derek sighed. "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."

Addison laughed. "Would you like me to get back in bed?"

Derek shook his head. "You don't have to." Derek pulled Addison in to a hug. "Happy Birthday, baby."

Addison smiled. "I think I am going to get back in bed." Derek laughed as she padded back towards the bed, climbing in and pulling the covers around her. "Do you think Ellie and George are okay?"

Derek came in to the room after taking the pancakes out of the oven to cool. "You mean considering their massive alcohol intake last night?" Addison nodded. "I'm sure they're fine." Derek crawled on to the bed and propped himself up on one elbow next to Addison. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm happy for her. I miss Kate, but…it wasn't our fault and Ellie is going to leave Madison with us more than we'd probably like."

Derek laughed. "I guess I never saw El as a single mother."

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. I think she wanted to choose whether or not she was going to be a single mother, not be forced in to it because she got pregnant and the moron walked away."

Derek laughed. "Probably. You ready for breakfast?" Addison grinned and nodded, and Derek went back in to the main room. Addison reached over and picked up her phone. There was a call she had to make.

* * *

Ellie woke to the smell of French toast, which Derek must have told George was her favorite breakfast. She hadn't had French toast in a long time…not since Mark made it for her on her last birthday. Too bad two weeks later everything fell apart. Ellie sat up and stretched her arms, replaying the previous night's events in her head. She remembered a lot of alcohol, and Derek and Addison dropping her and George off at Meredith's…that's where she was. Meredith's. Ellie swung her legs over the side of the bed just in time for her phone to ring. 

"Eliot Grey, wanton sex goddess …"

"Hello, you've been enrolled in the obscene caller of the month club…wait…what did you just say?"

Ellie laughed. "Good morning Addison."

"Good morning. There was an actual reason I was calling you…forgive me if I don't remember what it was…"

"Hmmm…maybe this can job your memory…you're almost 40!"

"Boo…you whore. I still have two years. You're 30. That's a pretty big number El…"

"Whatever…your number is bigger."

Addison laughed. "Are you feeling better?"

"You mean after last night?"

"Yeah."

"Mmmhmm…loads. I can't believe I drank that much. Some mother I'm going to be." Ellie looked up as the door opened, revealing Meredith and Izzie already dressed in their scrubs. "Hold on Add…"

"Okay." Ellie put the phone on the bed and stood.

"We just wanted to wish you a happy birthday." Izzie said, smiling. "We have to be at work at 7:30."

"Really? Cause I'm pretty sure your resident isn't coming in until 9:00."

Meredith laughed. "Yeah. Somehow, two attendings, a resident, and an intern managed to convince Webber to let them stay at home until 9:00."

Ellie shrugged. "Can't imagine how…" Ellie smiled. "Does Webber already have you assigned on cases?"

Izzie nodded. "Yeah."

Ellie cringed. "Ouch. Sorry guys."

"Doesn't matter." Meredith said, smiling. "But we should go." Meredith hugged her sister. "Happy Birthday."

"Yeah…" Izzie hugged Ellie and smiled. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks." Ellie watched as Meredith took a deep breath and picked up the phone that was lying on the bed, hitting the speaker phone button.

"Happy Birthday Addison."

Addison coughed. "Thanks Meredith."

"Yeah, Happy Birthday." Izzie said.

"Thanks…"

"I don't know what you're wishing her a happy birthday for…" Ellie said, grinning. "She's not really that important. The fact that it's her birthday is just a side-note."

Addison laughed. "You wish."

Meredith handed the phone back to Ellie. "See you later."

"Bye." Ellie turned the speaker phone off and shut the door. "Did that sound as weird to you as it felt to me?"

"Your sister just wished me a happy birthday."

"Yeah, Add, I was here."

Addison laughed. "That's not what I meant."

Ellie watched Izzie and Meredith pull away and then made her way downstairs to the kitchen. "I know. So, uh…about last night…I, um…"

"Ellie, it's okay. I'll probably always miss Kate, but there wasn't anything Derek and I could do. We tried our best."

"Yeah, okay." Ellie walked in to the kitchen and smiled at George as he dished French toast on to two plates. "Good morning." She mouthed, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

"Good morning." He whispered, kissing her cheek. "Who're you talking to?"

Ellie grinned. "Satan. Wanna say hi?"

George nodded and took the phone from Ellie. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks George."

"Thanks for the ride home last night."

Addison laughed. "Sure. You were both pretty drunk."

"Yeah, well…I think Ellie was getting her last drunken night in before she officially becomes a mother." Ellie grinned and Addison laughed. "Although, you never know."

"True story. Did you make her French toast for breakfast?"

"Yeah, I did. Derek told me it was her favorite."

"Good stuff. Hey, Derek wants to talk to you. I'll see you later."

"Bye Addison."

"George?"

"Yup."

"Hold on…I have to get outside the trailer."

George laughed. "What makes you think she won't follow you?"

"I just gave her breakfast in bed."

"Ahh…" George swatted Ellie's hand away from the French toast, which was still cooling off.

"But…"

"Wait." He mouthed. Ellie pouted her lip and leaned against the sink.

"Okay…is everything set up?" Derek asked, turning George's attention away from Ellie.

George left the room. "Yeah. I'm going to tell Addison I want to have lunch with her and then Izzie and Cristina are going to go over to the trailer while we're eating."

"Perfect. What about tonight?"

George stepped out on to the front porch, the small amount of snow that was still left glistening in the early morning sunlight. "The reservations have been made…it's all set."

"Great. Thanks George."

"No problem."

"Can I talk to Ellie?"

"Yeah, hold on…" George went back in to the house and in to the kitchen, surprised to see that the French toast was still sitting on the plate. "You actually waited." Ellie shrugged and smiled. "Derek wants to talk to you."

Ellie smiled and took the phone from George. "Derek?"

"Happy Birthday, Ellie."

"Thanks."

"How's your head?"

Ellie laughed. "Not as bad as you would think. Did you make Addison German pancakes?"

"Sure did."

Ellie grinned. "Good deal. I'll see you later, Derek."

"Yeah. Hold on, Addison wants to talk to you again."

"Okay…" Ellie took a sip of her orange juice and smiled at George.

"So…enjoy your French toast."

"Enjoy your German pancakes." Ellie said, grinning.

"Happy 30th."

"Happy 38th."

"See you later."

"Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and sat down at the kitchen counter next to George.

"Ready for breakfast?" Ellie smiled and picked up a fork, taking a bite of the French toast.

"Mmm…George, this is fantastic."

George smiled and leaned in to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Happy Birthday, baby."

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie walked in to the on-call room, laden down with gifts. Some of them were for Addison, and most of them were from other people.

"Wow…you hit the jackpot this morning." Addison said, coming in to the room, her arms also full of gifts.

"Hey, people just like me better." Addison glared. "Is that still a touchy subject with you?" Addison shrugged and set the packages on the bed. "Addie…"

Addison grinned. "I'm kidding. It's fine. How long do you have?"

"30 minutes."

"So we gotta do this fast."

"You make it sound like sex Add."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Maybe that's one of your birthday presents…"

Ellie made a face. "Ew. Too much. You're done."

Addison laughed and sat down on the bed. "You know…you were once much worse."

"I was also once much younger. Funny how now the old fogey speaks like a horny teenager, instead of the horny teenager."

"Okay…are we done with the insults?"

"I dunno…are we?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Yes. Very much so."

Ellie grinned and let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine." Ellie reached down and grabbed 5 of the numerous packages and handed them to Addison. "These are for you." She said, smiling.

Addison picked up 5 of the 7 packages she had brought in and handed them to Ellie. "And these are for you." Addison said, handing them to Ellie.

"People like you." Ellie said, pointing to the two packages left on the floor.

Addison rolled her eyes. "Richard and Izzie."

Ellie laughed and shrugged. "Meh…" Ellie looked down at the packages in her lap. "Do I have to open these in a certain order?"

"Are there numbers in the corner?"

Ellie looked at the packages more closely. There were. "God you're weird." Addison laughed as Ellie opened the package with _9_ written in Addison's chicken scratch in the corner. "You know what I realized?" Ellie said, glancing at the 9 again and looking up.

"No…what?"

"You are one of the most elegant people I know…upper east side, always put together, and yet, as poised as you are…you have chicken scratch for handwriting. What the hell happened?" Addison stared. "Not in the mood to answer that one? Sure, okay. I'll just go back to what I was doing…" Ellie began to rip the wrapping paper, trying to keep a straight face. Addison was failing miserably at not laughing. Within seconds, both women were dying laughing, unable to keep their composure, and Ellie began to wheeze she was laughing so hard.

Addison took a deep breath and put one hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Breath. You only have 15 minutes to be okay enough to perform surgery."

"Actually…" Ellie said, taking a huge deep breath, which resulted in giggles. "I have…45 minutes…but Derek wants me there in 15…"

"Okay…" Addison took another deep breath, beginning to laugh again herself. "Are we going to finish this?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not."

"We're really productive when we're together." Addison said, grinning as Ellie finally finished opening the package.

"It's why we don't perform surgery together on a regular basis. We'd kill people." Ellie grinned and then shrieked as soon as she realized what she was holding in her hands. "Oh my god, Addie!" Ellie flipped the Nirvana boxed set and Unplugged in New York c.d. over in her hand. "This is freaking awesome!"

"Yeah, well…I try. Which one do you want me to open?" Addison asked, looking down at the 5 gifts in her lap.

"Whichever. I don't label them like some people."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Brat."

"Crackwhore." Addison's eyes popped and Ellie laughed. "Open it. I have…" Ellie grabbed Addison's wrist and looked at her watch. "6 minutes. Go."

Addison ripped the wrapping paper off of a box and smiled. "Ellie!" Addison was holding an original RENT program and music book, both signed by the original cast. "This is amazing!"

"I've actually had them for years and I was going to save them for your 40th, but I figured this year is just as good." Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Because we're best friends again idiot. Wow. Slow on the uptake, much?"

Addison glared. "I am not slow on the uptake. You're just…" Addison looked down. "I actually have no idea what I would say there."

Ellie grinned. "We're the most productive people ever. I have to go." Ellie gathered the numerous gifts from off the floor and then snatched the ones from Addison off the bed. "I have to take these out to George's car…but we'll finishing opening. I swear."

Addison nodded. "Okay. Have fun in the surgery."

Ellie scoffed. "Yeah. For sure." Ellie left the on-call room, leaving Addison alone sitting on the bed. Addison gathered her packages and left the room, a serious look on her face.

"You alright Addison?" George asked, coming up behind her.

"Huh?" She turned around and forced a smile. "Yeah, George, I'm fine."

"Hmmm…" George sighed. "Liar."

Addison looked down as she headed out to her car, passing Ellie who was on her way in. Ellie waved as she ran past them, her heels in her hands and her nylons sliding on the floor. "That's really safe, El." Ellie waved her off and slid around the corner in to the locker room. "It's just not the same, George. Even last year, when…" Addison sighed. "It was still better than this." Addison unlocked her car and George opened the back for her so that she could set the gifts inside.

"It's a new place, and you two are just getting back to where you once were. It's going to be different."

Addison nodded. "I know. But I don't like it."

George laughed. "Well, now I know I'm not Ellie, but do you want to have lunch with me? We'll sit in the corner and make fun of people or something." George said, grinning.

Addison laughed. "Sure George."

He smiled. "Great." Addison locked her car and the two went inside, Addison not noticing that as George passed Izzie he gave her a thumbs-up sign. Everything was set.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"I can't believe that I agreed to do this with you." Cristina said, helping Izzie carry flowers out of her car and in to the trailer.

"Well, you did, and thank god, because otherwise I would have needed to get Alex or Meredith, and since Alex is not really who I want helping me, and Meredith would be a long shot, I'd be doing this myself." Izzie unlocked the trailer with the key Derek had given her and set the flowers down on the kitchen table. Doc came running to great her, and she led him past Cristina and outside, leashing him to the trailer. "Sorry boy." She said, kneeling down to his level. "Derek's orders. Hate him." Izzie ruffled the dogs fur and stood, heading back to her car. The amount of flowers…her car and George's were full…absolutely full. But that's how Derek had wanted it. Brimming. So that's how they were going to do it.

"Hey Iz?" Izzie looked over at the trailer to see Cristina standing on the porch, the flowers still in her arms. "Where do I set these?"

Izzie laughed. "Where ever you want Cris. We need to fill the trailer so start where ever."

Cristina shook her head. "This isn't something I would like…is she going to like this?"

Izzie gathered more flowers in her arms and headed up the steps to the trailer. "Addison will love it."

* * *

Meredith sat in the corner of the cafeteria, her table otherwise empty. George was sitting with Addison a few tables away, and they were laughing. Meredith almost wanted to join them. Almost. 

"Have you seen Izzie?" Alex asked, coming up to the table.

Meredith shrugged. "Nope. I can't find Cristina either."

"Hmmm…could they be in surgery?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nope. The only surgery going on right now is Ellie and Derek's. And they're not in there." In that moment, Addison's laughter rang out, followed closely by George's. Meredith cringed.

"You wanna go join them?" Alex asked. "They're fun to have lunch with…"

Meredith shook her head. "No thanks. I'm not really hungry anymore."

Alex shrugged. "Okay." He headed for Addison and George's table and Meredith stood and left the cafeteria.

"Hi Alex." George said, watching Meredith leave the cafeteria. "Is she alright?"

Alex shrugged and sat down. "It's Grey, man. What do you think?"

George laughed. "I'll check on her later."

Alex nodded. "Go for it. Hey…Happy Birthday Dr. Shepherd."

Addison smiled. "Thanks Karev."

He nodded. "You know, I never really got to wish Ellie a Happy Birthday…maybe I'll stop by the surgery…"

"No." Addison and George snapped in unison, causing laughter from both of them.

"Don't do that." Addison said.

"Why not?"

Addison shook her head. "I stopped by just to talk to her for a few seconds, and Derek told me I needed to leave because they needed to concentrate, and when I said I just wanted to say a few words Ellie threw a scalpel at the window and told me to go away."

Alex cringed. "Okay, maybe not."

Addison smiled. "You can, I'm just warning you…"

Alex shook his head. "I don't think I will. Have either of you seen Izzie?"

Addison shook her head. "No. I haven't seen Cristina lately either. George?"

George took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. "Nope. I, uh…I have to go check on a patient…" George stood quickly and left the cafeteria in a hurry.

"Okay, so that wasn't at all weird." Alex said.

Addison shrugged. "Who knows. I actually have patients too."

Alex nodded. "Well, I'm sure someone has something for me. Have a happy birthday Dr. Shepherd."

"Thanks." The two separated, Alex determined to find out what was going on with George, and Addison determined to find out where the hell Izzie went.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Addison pulled up in front of the trailer, tired, exhausted, and wishing she had stayed at the hospital. She would have had to wait at least an hour for Derek and Ellie to be finished, but being alone in the trailer was going to be ten times worse. As Addison stepped out of the car she noticed that Doc was tied up outside the trailer.

"What are you doing out here boy?" She asked, bending down to pet him. "Derek and I didn't leave you out here…" Addison moved to untie him, and then realized that maybe there was a reason he was outside. Addison stood and walked in to the dark trailer, reaching for the nearest light. Addison let out a gasp as she saw that the entire trailer was filled with roses; red, white, orange and pink. There were petals on the floor, and on the bed, vases full of roses on the counters, the table, in the bathroom…Addison was amazed. She slid off her heels and tiptoed across the petals to the answering machine and hit the play button.

"_Add, it's me, Michael. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday sis. Hope this one turns out good. I love you, give Ellie…and Derek, my love. Call me when you can."_

"_Hey Addison, it's Savvy. Weiss and I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday…he's leaving Ellie a message otherwise he would say hi. I love you, I hope everything is going well, and I'd love to talk to you, so give me a call when you get the chance."_

"_Addison my love…"_ Addison smiled at the sound of Derek's voice. _"There is a rose in that trailer for every moment I thought of you today. You amaze me, and I know we're still working on our issues, but I love you. So much. Happy Birthday, baby. I'll see you tonight."_

Addison sat down on the bed and smiled. Only Derek would do something like fill the trailer with flowers. Addison picked up her phone and dialed the hospital.

"Seattle Grace."

"This is Addison Shepherd. Can I speak to Isobel Stevens please?"

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd. Hold on one moment."

"Thank you." Addison ran her fingers over the petals on the bed while she waited for Izzie to come to the phone.

"This is Isobel Stevens."

"It's Addison."

"Oh. Hi."

"Did you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Fill the trailer with flowers."

Izzie laughed. "Cristina and I did, yes. Do you like it?"

"I love it. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. We just did him the favor. It was all Derek."

"Well, that much I know. Thank you anyway."

"Sure. Happy Birthday Addison."

Addison smiled. "Thanks."

"Have a good night."

"You too." Addison hung up the phone and collapsed on the bed, the petals falling in to her hair. It was all she could do not to shriek with joy. Her Derek, the one she fell in love with, was back.

* * *

**8:30 P.M.**

"Nice job Dr. Grey." Derek said as they left the OR, shedding their gloves and masks. "Dr. Karev will be doing the follow up so that you can go home."

Ellie smiled. "Thanks Derek. Are you going straight home?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Addie's waiting for me."

Ellie smiled. "Well, have a good night then."

Derek grinned. "I will." He gave Ellie a hug and a kiss on the cheek and they separated, Ellie heading to the locker room and Derek heading straight for his car. On his way out the door, he ran in to Meredith.

"Hi." She said, smiling.

"Hi."

"I have something to ask you."

Derek nodded. "Okay."

"I wanted to do something for Ellie…and Addison…for their birthday, and I…"

"I'm sorry." Derek put one hand up, pausing Meredith mid-sentence. "Did you just say Ellie and Addison…for their birthday?"

Meredith sighed. "I'm trying, okay? Ellie's my sister and I would like to be your friend, and obviously Addison is part of the package, so I'm trying to accept that."

Derek smiled. "Okay. So…you wanted to do something for their birthday…"

"Yeah. But I didn't know when. Izzie and I could pull something off…well, Izzie could pull something off by about 9:30 tonight, or…"

"Not tonight." Derek glanced down the hall, looking for Ellie. "George and I are taking Ellie and Addison out to dinner…and not tomorrow, because…"

"Don't finish that." Derek laughed. "Okay, so how about the 15th?"

Derek nodded. "I think that would work. I think they were planning on doing their regular Day 13 stuff that day anyway…so that would be perfect."

Meredith smiled. "Great. I'll let you know what Izzie and I figure out."

"Okay." Derek watched Meredith walk away and shook his head. At least she was trying.

* * *

Addison jumped up as she heard Derek pull up in front of the trailer, a smile on her face. She'd spent the last hour making phone calls to Savvy and Weiss and Michael, and now she was just glad Derek was home. She stepped out on to the front porch, now in her bare feet, and smiled as he got out of the car. 

"Hi." He said, grinning. Addison didn't speak, but bounded down the steps and in to his arms. "I'm assuming you liked it?"

Addison grinned, stepping back on to the step. "I loved it. It's so beautiful, Derek."

Derek smiled. "You wanna know what they mean, _Bella_?" Addison nodded and Derek took her hand, slipping his shoes off right outside the door before he walked inside. "Okay…the red means love and passion. There are fifty red roses…which means unconditional love…" Addison grinned. "The pink means admiration, and the orange means desire. The vases that are red and white stand for unity, and the pink and white are for forever love…and the white by itself means loyalty." Derek looks down. "I know it's a little goofy, but…"

Addison shook her head. "No, Derek…it's perfect."

Derek smiled. "Good. Now, we have an hour until we have to be at The Pink Door so…" Addison raised her eyebrows, confused. "Dinner reservations at 9:30 Addie…you didn't seriously think I was going to go without taking you out on your birthday, did you?"

Addison shrugged. "I just figured that after the surgery…"

Derek sighed. "I made a lot of mistakes back in New York…I was absent, and I always put surgery first. You are way more important, and I'm not going to let a little fatigue get in the way of us celebrating your birthday. Besides…we have the day off tomorrow. We can sleep all day." Addison smiled and kissed Derek, running her fingers through his hair. "Go get ready…although I totally call the shower first. I'm a little gross."

Addison laughed. "Okay, but make it quick."

"We could just take one together…" Derek said, grinning.

"Um…that would make it twice as long."

* * *

Ellie shoved the door to her hotel room open, her arms and legs weak. The surgery had been so long, but she knew it was worth it. Gillian was going to live, and now she had three of those surgeries under her belt, and she was only thirty. Ellie stepped in to the hotel room and saw George sitting in the chair by the window, smiling. 

"Hi." He said, standing. "How did the surgery go?"

"Good. Really good." Ellie fell in to George's arms, letting him hold her up.

"Tired?"

"Mmmhmm…"

"Too tired to let me take you out to dinner?"

Ellie looked up at him. "It's 8:30."

George nodded. "And our reservation is for 9:30. Think you can pull it together that fast?"

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "You haven't seen fast until you've seen me get ready."

George nodded. "Okay. I have to go change…I'll be back in an hour."

Ellie grinned. "Okay." George turned to leave and then stopped in his tracks near the door. "George?"

He turned around and walked swiftly over to Ellie, pulling her in to a passionate kiss that made her knees go weaker than they already were, if that was even possible. "I don't have anything for you for your birthday…" He whispered. "Because I didn't really know what to get you."

"George, it's okay…"

"So I got us the day off tomorrow."

Ellie grinned. "Seriously?"

George nodded. "Yeah." George kissed her again, lifting her off the ground just slightly. "I'll be back in an hour."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

* * *

**9:30 P.M.**

"Derek, this place is great." Addison said as they walked in to The Pink Door hand-in-hand. "Where did you find it?"

"I didn't." Derek whispered, leaning close to her. "He did…" George was standing next to the concierge, waiting for them.

"George?" Addison smiled. "What…?"

"Derek and I figured that since you and Ellie haven't been able to spend a lot of time together like normal, a nice dinner with the four of us would be good."

Addison grinned. "Thank you…does Ellie know?"

George shook his head. "No, she doesn't…and she's a little tired, so she may be a little out of it."

"You brought her here when she was that tired?" Derek asked.

George shrugged. "I told her we didn't have to but she insisted. She's more stubborn than I thought."

Derek nodded. "True." George smiled and lead the Shepherds to the table where he and Ellie were seated.

"George, what took you so long? I was starting to think you got mugged or…" Ellie grinned. "Addie!"

"Hi."

Ellie stood and hugged Addison, the grin still on her face. "What…did you set this up?"

Addison shook her head. "These two did." She said, smiling and pointing to George and Derek, who were standing next to the table. "They figured we could use a good dinner together since we haven't really kept to tradition."

Ellie nodded and smiled at George and Derek. "Thank you."

George nodded. "Derek said that you guys usually spent the night of Day Thirteen with your significant other, but we figured breaking from tradition wouldn't be a big deal." Ellie hugged George and then sat, her tired state quickly becoming obvious.

"El…are you sure you're up to this?" Derek asked, worried.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm tired, but…aren't you?"

"Not as tired as you…"

"I'm okay, Derek." Addison rolled her eyes and Ellie sighed. "I am. I promise." Derek nodded as the waiter came up to their table.

"Good evening, I'm Luke, and I'll be your server this evening. What can I get you folks started with?"

"Uh, a double scotch single malt for me, a Manhattan for my wife, a Coors for the gentleman, and…" Derek looked at Ellie, who grinned.

"Coffee. Strong, black coffee."

"Ellie…" Addison said, shaking her head.

"Add…please? I know it's not recommended, but I need it…"

Addison sighed. "Fine. Just…not too much."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you."

"Okay, so that's a Coors, a Manhattan, a double scotch single malt…and one cup of strong, black coffee…is that it?"

"For right now, yeah." The waiter left, and Derek looked at Ellie. "I know I already asked you this, but…"

"Derek…I'm fine. Please stop."

Derek nodded. "Okay, sure."

Addison looked at Ellie. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

Ellie shook her head. "Nope. George got us the day off, so I can sleep in."

Addison smiled. "Good. Do you guys have anything planned?"

"Nope." Ellie smiled. "But we're going to have fun. That I can guarantee." George blushed and Ellie laughed, even though it was weak. Derek and Addison both noticed that she looked a little pale, but with the exception of making eye contact with one another, they said nothing. No way was there going to be an argument. "So…George told me that Derek had the trailer filled with roses…"

Addison smiled. "Yeah, he did." Addison took Derek's hand and squeezed it. "I loved it."

Ellie smiled. "I figured as much." Ellie took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. "How's Madison?"

Addison grinned. "She's doing great. She's getting a lot stronger."

"That's fantastic." Ellie said, smiling as the waiter came back up to the table.

"One Coors…one Manhattan…a double scotch, single malt…and one cup of coffee…"

"Hero." Ellie whispered, taking a sip of the coffee. "This is fantastic."

The waiter smiled. "Good. I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order." He left and Ellie turned to Addison.

"So did you have any fun on your birthday?"

Addison laughed. "George and I spent our lunch making fun of people and pretending that we knew what they were saying in the cafeteria."

Ellie laughed and George grinned. "That was fun. _Do you want to go fishing?_"

"_French kissing_?"

"_Fishing!_" Addison and George burst in to laughter and Ellie took a large gulp of her coffee. All she had to do was stay awake.

* * *

**12:30 P.M.**

The group of four staggered on to the sidewalk, three of them laughing, and the fourth one forcing a smile. Ellie was tired, and although they'd had fun, she knew that the other three could tell that there was something wrong with her. Not enough sleep paired with a 10-hour surgery was what was wrong…and she wasn't hiding it very well.

"Eliot?" Addison gripped her friends arms, looking her in the eye. "Are you alright?"

"I'm…I think I might collapse, Add."

"We shouldn't have stayed out this late…Ellie…"

"No. It's not your fault. I just shouldn't have had anything to drink last night…maybe I would have slept better."

Addison sighed. "Derek, help me." Derek took Ellie in to his arms, lifting her in to a cradle position.

"Derek, put me down." Ellie said, her tone not at all demanding and rather weak.

"Right. Like I'm going to listen to you." Derek carried her down the street and to their parked cars, while George and Addison lagged behind.

"Is she going to be okay?" George asked.

Addison nodded. "She's over-worked and hasn't gotten enough sleep. This will happen again, George, so get used to it. She doesn't listen to anyone…"

George laughed. "From the stories I've heard, neither do you."

Addison shrugged. "Sometimes, no, but most of the time I manage to get enough sleep."

George laughed. "Most of the time."

"You know what…?"

George grinned as they reached the cars, Ellie already in the passenger seat of George's. "What?"

Addison sighed. "Nothing. Never mind." Addison opened the passenger door of George's car and smiled. "Happy Birthday Ellie."

"Happy Birthday Addie." Ellie said, her voice barely audible. "I love you."

Addison smiled. "I love you too. Get some sleep." Ellie nodded and Addison shut the door, a look of worry and a grim smile on her face. "Take care of her." Addison said to George.

"I will." George smiled and got in to the car, pulling away before Addison and Derek had even unlocked their car.

"Now what?" Derek asked, grinning.

"Now we go home and sleep." Addison said, smiling. "Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Do you know what that means?"

Derek grinned. "Yes, yes…I do."

**I hope you guys liked it. I really do. Because it's almost two in the morning and I worked my butt off…and I'll cry if you didn't like it. I'm not even joking.**

**Okay maybe I'm sort of joking. Please review!**

**P.S. I used quotes...sort of...from _My Best Friend's Wedding_ and _Bridget Jones' Diary_. Hope y'all don't mind.**


	22. Your Man

**This took me WAY longer than it should have. I suck.**

**Um. I love all of you and all of your reviews. You're amazing. _Grey's_ didn't actually disappoint me that much Sunday night. I wish there had been a little more Addek, but…at least there was some. Did anyone else think that the look Derek gave Meredith at the end was a, "She's just trying to be nice and if you want to be my friend then you have to be her friend" kind of a look? That's what I got.**

**I hope you guys like this chapter. I LOVE this chapter. :-)**

**Chapter Title: "Your Man" by Josh Turner**

**Half Love**

"**Your Man"**

_Baby, lock the door and turn the light down low  
__Put some music on that's soft and slow  
__Baby we ain't got no place to go  
__I hope you understand  
__I've been thinking 'bout this all day long  
__Never felt a feeling quite this strong  
__I can't believe how much it turns me on  
__Just to be your man –  
_"_Your Man"  
__By Josh Turner_

**February 14th, 2006**

**10:00 A.M.**

Ellie rolled towards George, her arm scraping across cold sheet. Ellie groaned and opened her eyes, rolling on to her back.

"Good morning." George said from the chair over by the window. "How did you sleep?"

Ellie smiled and sat up, her body and mentality much stronger than the night before. "Good. I didn't wake up at all."

George nodded. "I know." George stood and walked over to the bed, kneeling on the sheets in front of Ellie. "Feeling better than last night?"

Ellie grinned. "Mmm…loads. I was pretty out of it, wasn't I?"

"Addison said you do it a lot."

Ellie sighed. "Sometimes I overwork myself…but I don't do it a lot. Addison was exaggerating."

George laughed. "If you say so." Ellie pouted, leaning against the headboard. "Don't pout, you goof. It's Valentines Day."

Ellie's pout turned in to an ear-to-ear grin. "Oh yeah." Ellie leaned in and kissed George, pulling him towards her by the collar of his shirt. "We didn't have anything planned for today, did we?"

George laughed. "No, but El…"

"What?"

"You almost collapsed last night. I don't want to…"

"You don't want to what?" Ellie asked, leaning back against the headboard. "I'm not a porcelain doll George."

He sighed. "I know…I don't want to hurt you…"

Ellie smiled. "You're not going to hurt me. I was tired last night, that's all. There was nothing else. I'm good now. Refreshed. I got 9 hours of sleep…I haven't gotten 9 hours of sleep in almost a year." George raised his eyebrows questioningly and Ellie nodded. "So I'm good. I promise."

George grinned. "Well, if you promise…" He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her up and flipping her on to her back as their kiss deepened. There was no better way to start Valentines Day.

* * *

Unless, of course, you were Derek and Addison Shepherd, who were awake at 7:00 A.M. and having the best sex they'd had in a long time, only to fall asleep tangled together, their mental alarms not waking them again until after 10:00. Derek woke first, one arm over his wife, his opposite hand tangled in her hair, and his left leg between hers. He was comfortable, and content, and half of his body was asleep, but he didn't want to wake her. Not yet. He liked watching her sleep. Unfortunately, her mental alarm woke her almost at the same time, and when she opened her eyes and his were staring back at her, it was all she could do not to shriek. 

"Jesus, Derek…" Addison rolled away from him just enough so that they could untangle themselves and took a deep breath. "You scared me to death."

Derek laughed. "Sorry Addie…I haven't had the opportunity to watch you sleep in a long time…I like watching you sleep." Derek said, smiling.

Addison grinned. "That's all well and good, Derek, but when I wake up and I'm looking straight in to your eyes…it's a little scary."

Derek smiled. "Sorry." Addison shrugged and leaned in to kiss him, her tongue parting his lips. Their tongues touching elicited a moan from Addison, and Derek roller her on to her back and stradled her, deepening their kiss and tangling his fingers in her hair. "What…did…you…have…planned…for…today…?" He asked, kissing her neck between words.

"Why?" She asked, giggling as his tongue ran over her neck.

"Well…I know we agreed to trade years, but…I kind of want to stay in bed all day. We haven't done that in a long time." He said, looking deep in to her blue eyes. (**A/N: Are they blue? They look blue to me…**) "Please?" Derek asked, giving her the patented puppy dog look that she hadn't seen him give her in a long time.

Addison laughed. "Okay." Derek sat back, leaning against her legs. "What are you doing?"

Derek smiled. "I have something for you…"

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Uh…okay…" Derek lifted himself off of her legs and pulled on boxers as he got off the bed. Addison watched him walk in to the main room and then jumped as her phone vibrated on the bedside table.

_Happy V-Day Ho.  
_'_Til death do you part. :-)  
__E.  
__**10:30:08 AM**_

Addison smiled, leaned against the headboard and proceeded to text back, something she had never been good at, but was certainly getting better at.

"Addison…close your eyes."

* * *

Ellie lay breathless next to George, still trying to breathe normally after almost five minutes of lying next to each other. Ellie had just rolled towards George when her phone vibrated. 

_Happy V-Day.  
__Hes not going 2 hurt u.  
__A.  
__**10:30:56 AM**_

Ellie smiled and set her phone back on the bedside table, finally rolling to face George.

"Hi." She said, smiling.

"Hi." George ran his hands through her hair, smiling. "Happy Valentines Day."

Ellie grinned. "Happy Valentines Day."

"I did actually have something planned for today…" Ellie raised her eyebrows. "But if you don't want to…"

Ellie shook her head. "No…I want to." She said, smiling. "I absolutely want to."

"Okay." George sat up. "Dress casual, but we're coming back later to get dressed up."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." She stood and then pulled him off the bed and towards her. "I'm cold."

George laughed. "You're not wearing anything…of course you're cold."

Ellie grinned. "Is there a time frame for what you have planned for today?"

"Just dinner reservations at 7:00."

"Good." Ellie grinned and cocked one eyebrow. "Wanna take a hot shower with me?"

George laughed and led Ellie towards the bathroom. "As if you even have to ask."

* * *

Addison opened the box that Derek placed in front of her, a grin on her face. 

"Derek…?" Addison pulled a photo album out of the box, which wasn't exactly what she had been expecting.

"Open it." Addison opened the photo album and smiled. Inside the front cover was a picture that someone had taken of them sitting in Joe's one night. Their hands were joined across the table and Derek was leaning in for a kiss. The picture directly below it was one Addison knew Ellie had taken. Addison and Derek were seated on a couch in the waiting room, late one night, and Addisons head was on Derek's shoulder, while his head leaned against hers. When she turned the page, there was a picture of the two of them with Ellie and George on M. I. Day in the cafeteria, water flying everywhere. Below that was a picture taken at the front desk. Addison was ranting about something, her hands in the air, and Derek was just watching her. He was looking at her exactly how he had looked at her before everything fell apart…like he really loved her. "I thought we should have a new photo album, since we're starting over."

Addison smiled. "Who took these?"

Derek laughed. "Well…Joe took the first one. Apparently he keeps a camera behind the counter…he gave it to me a few days ago, which is what gave me the idea. Then Ellie took the second one, one of the nurses took the one from M. I. Day, and…" Derek laughed. "Izzie took the last one. With Meredith's camera. So Meredith is the one that gave it to me."

Addison raised one eyebrow. "Not at all awkward."

Derek smiled and shrugged. "It was definitely a weird conversation. Anyway, I figured what better way to signify a new start than the way we used to document everything?"

Addison grinned and kissed Derek. "This is perfect. I have something for you too." Addison snagged sweats and a t-shirt off of the floor and slid them on, her eyes locked with Derek's the whole time. Addison went out in to the main room and dug through her bag, pulling out two envelopes. "This one doesn't really have anything to do with Valentines Day." Derek took the thin envelope from her and opened it, pulling out a check written for a large amount. "I sold the house in the Hamptons. With the exception of a few friends, all ties to New York are broken." Derek smiled. "Here." Addison handed him a much larger envelope and he opened it, smiling.

"Add…" Derek read over the sheet of paper and smiled. "Seriously?"

Addison nodded. "My ob-gyn sent me all of my final paperwork last week. I can still have kids, Derek. We were so sure that I couldn't, and…"

Derek grinned. "This is fantastic."

"Not yet, mind you…" Addison said, giving him a semi-solemn look.

"Oh no, I know…but eventually." Derek grinned.

"I know you always wanted like four kids, so…"

Derek smiled. "I…this is awesome." Derek took everything off of the bed and set it on the floor with one hand, pulling Addison down next to him with the other. "I love you." He said, smiling. They leaned back so that their heads hit the pillow and Addison curled up next to him, placing her head on his chest.

"I love you too."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

Ellie and George sat on the same bench that they had been sitting on the first time they were alone together, watching the water, when Ellie's beeper went off.

"Damn it. No." Ellie fished her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed the hospital. "This is Eliot Grey. I was just paged…"

"Yes, hold on Dr. Grey."

"Ellie?"

"Izzie what's going on?"

"It's Gillian Brunswick. She's bleeding out…Dr. Webber said to call you…"

"Yeah." Ellie stood and began jogging down the sidewalk, George keeping pace right beside her. "I'm on my way."

"Should I call Derek…?"

"No." Ellie snapped, skidding to a stop in front of George's car and bolting in to the front seat as soon as he unlocked it. "Don't call Dr. Shepherd." Ellie stuck her hand out for the keys. George cocked one eyebrow. "I'm driving O'Malley. Give me the damn keys." George handed them to her and raced around to the passenger side as Ellie pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards Seattle Grace. "Keep her stable and prep the OR. I'm 5 minutes from the hospital."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone and began to fly down the street, taping the breaks at a stoplight and speeding through it.

"Ellie, we're at least 15 minutes from the hospital…"

Ellie laughed, zooming around the corner. "Not the way I drive."

* * *

6 minutes later, Ellie and George flew in to the hospital, Ellie's shoes in her hands. Running in heels didn't work. Ellie flew around the corner, slipping on her heels as she walked in to Gillian's room. 

"What happened?" She asked as Cristina handed her the chart.

"She was complaining of headaches early this morning, and about 30 minutes ago she lost consciousness." Meredith said, taking a deep breath.

"Okay. Prep her for surgery. I need to change…and, uh…" Ellie looked back and forth from Cristina to George to Meredith and sighed. "Cristina and George, scrub in. I'm going to need both of you." Cristina wheeled Gillian out of the room as quickly as possible, while George raced down the hall towards the interns' locker room. Ellie headed towards her locker room, Meredith on her heels.

"You don't need three interns?"

"Meredith…"

"I know just as much as they do…I've watched you and Derek perform dozens of surgeries…I can do this."

"Meredith…" Ellie sighed and stopped outside the locker room.

"Is it because Cristina is more composed? I'm more composed than George…"

"MEREDITH!" Meredith froze. "This is not about Cristina, or George. This is about me needing two interns. If Karev was here, he'd be doing it, because he helped Derek and me yesterday. But he's not. Cristina was watching the surgery. And George was there when I explained the procedure to the Brunswicks. You were not involved in this in any way. Get over it. And never chase me down the hall pestering me again." Ellie took a deep breath. "I may be your sister, but when we're in this hospital, I am your resident, is that understood?" Meredith nodded and Ellie flew in to the locker room, leaving Meredith alone in the hall.

* * *

Ellie took a deep breath and shook out her hands. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pictured her first surgery with Derek, the one where she had saved a six-year-olds life by removing the blood clot in his brain. 

"Okay." Ellie opened her eyes and looked both Cristina and George in the eye. "Let's do this thing." George smiled with his eyes and Cristina nodded. "There's no better day to save a life."

* * *

An hour later, Gillian Brunswick was being wheeled down the hall, completely stable, the bleeding in her brain fixed to perfection. 

"Good job." Ellie said, shedding her gloves and tossing them while exiting the OR with Cristina and George. "Thank you…both of you. I needed brain power in there with me."

"I've never performed a surgery with just you…" Cristina said, taking her cap off and shaking her hair out. "You're pretty good."

Ellie grinned. "Thanks, but I learned from the best. Derek is a great teacher."

"Dr. Grey…can I speak to you for a moment?" Richard Webber came down the hallway, a solemn look on his face.

"Yeah, sure." Ellie followed Richard in to an empty room, shutting the door behind them. "What's going on?"

"Did you give Stevens instructions to not call Derek Shepherd?"

Ellie shrugged. "Yeah. She said you told her to call me…"

"I said to call you first, because I knew that you would get here faster. Derek is the head of neurosurgery…he needs to be here."

"I know how to do this procedure, Richard. I've done it dozens of times."

"Never without Derek."

"Plenty without Derek. I'm not incompetent."

"I didn't say that you were, Eliot. But he's the head of neurosurgery…"

"It's Valentines Day!"

"I don't care what day it is. Never give an intern instructions not to call an attending."

"Had we waited for Derek, Gillian Brunswick could have died."

Richard nodded. "I understand that, and you would have started the procedure without him, but he needed to be notified."

Ellie shook her head. "It was fine. I had two interns…"

"Your choice of interns was a little inappropriate, don't you think?"

Ellie stepped back, confused. "What? Why?"

"You're dating George O'Malley, are you not?"

"That has nothing to do with this. George was sitting next to me when I explained exactly what was going to happen to the Brunswicks. Cristina was in the observation deck watching the surgery yesterday."

"Izzie Stevens was working on the case this morning."

"I couldn't find her."

"Alex Karev was in the surgery yesterday."

"He's not on-duty today, Richard."

"Again, you should have called him."

"I'm not going to wait for playboy Karev to show up. I needed interns then, not twenty minutes from then."

"Meredith has done a procedure like this before."

Ellie's eyes popped. "Did she come whine to you?"

"No." Richard said, shaking his head. "I haven't talked to your sister all day. But I know that she's done a procedure like this…"

"George and Cristina were standing right in front of me. It has nothing to do with me dating George or anything like that. They were there and they're both good surgeons…"

"I know they're good, Eliot, but you need to be realistic."

"Realistic? I'm the one that needs to be realistic? You expected me to wait for Derek and Karev to show up when you know it would have taken them at least 30 minutes to get here…and you expect me to have Meredith and Izzie stand in for Karev because Izzie was on the case and Meredith has performed this procedure before…aren't we supposed to be teaching here, Richard?"

"Yes, but…"

"No…that's not fair. You can't expect me to pick two interns who've done it before over the two who were in some way involved in this woman's surgery yesterday. Not going to happen."

Richard sighed. "If this happens again, I'm going to have to put you on probation."

"If what happens?"

"You always call the attending that performed the surgery if they aren't already at the hospital, and on a rush surgery like that, you always pick the surgeons that are best fit for the job, not the ones that are there…if you don't follow those rules, Eliot…you'll be put on probation."

Ellie sighed. "Fine." Ellie stormed out of the room, the door flying open and scaring George and Cristina. Ellie flew down the hall, upset, and headed for the locker room. George and Cristina watched as Richard stormed past them, muttering.

"She is just like her mother, damn it." He hissed, heading down the hall and to the elevator. George and Cristina looked at each other and shrugged.

"I guess…I don't know if we're leaving or not…" George said, looking down the hall as if Ellie could hear him. "I guess…I'll go change…?"

Cristina shrugged. "You have the day off, and after that…I don't think Ellie is going to be wanting to stay." George nodded and headed down the hall. Cristina leaned against the wall and sighed. "Welcome to the drama that follows all Grey's."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Addison woke to her cell phone ringing and groaned. Derek was in the shower, so she rolled over and picked up her phone.

"Go to hell."

"Richard threatened to put me on probation."

Addison sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Say that again?"

"Richard threatened to put me on probation."

"That's what I thought you said. My God. Why?"

Ellie sighed. "Two hours ago, I got a page to call the hospital. So I did, and Izzie told me that Gillian Brunswick was bleeding out, and I needed to come in. I told her not to call Derek; because it's a procedure I've done dozens of times…"

"Right. Naturally."

"So I get there, check it out, and then realize I need two other people. So I pick George and Cristina, because I couldn't find Izzie, Karev isn't working today, and George and Cristina were both in someway involved yesterday, whether through watching or listening…so it made the most sense."

"It makes sense to me."

"You're half-asleep. I'm sorry Add…I'll just call you later…"

"No, no…" Addison shook her head, trying to wake herself up. "Sorry El…I'm listening."

"Richard got upset with me after the procedure…which went just fine. He said that I should have called Derek and Karev and waited for them since they were involved yesterday."

Addison wrinkled her forehead. "That doesn't make any sense. In New York…"

"We're not in New York anymore Addison."

"Well, yeah, I know that, but…why would you wait for Derek and Karev when you could just perform it then by yourself."

"That's what I said! He told me that if it happened again, he'd put me on probation."

"God, El, I'm sorry…"

"No, it's fine, I just…I needed to rant to someone. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"No. Derek's in the shower."

Ellie laughed. "In the shower? It's 3:00 in the afternoon, what have you two been…." Ellie sighed. "Why am I asking that? I know what you've been doing…"

Addison laughed. "What have you and George been doing?"

"Ugh…I feel horrible, because he had something planned, and it totally got ruined because of the surgery, and I snapped at him in the car…"

"Where are you?"

"Oh…I'm still with him, we're at Meredith's…but I still feel horrible. I don't know what to do."

"Take him somewhere. You grew up here…didn't you ever have a favorite place?"

Ellie laughed. "The hospital."

"Besides the hospital."

"Yeah…actually, I did."

"Take him there. I took Derek to my favorite place in New York on our first Valentines Day together…"

"Okay. Thanks, Add."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for." Derek stepped out of the bathroom, still dripping wet and clad only in a towel around his waist. "I have to go babe, my gorgeous husband just stepped out of the shower, and he's…" Addison laughed as the line clicked and she heard dial tone. "She didn't want to hear what you looked like." Addison said, grinning.

Derek raised his eyebrows and smiled. "I don't see why. I'm pretty sure I look hot."

"I'm pretty sure you look hot too."

Derek laughed and walked over to the bed, kneeling down on the comforter and crawling towards Addison. "Are you really?"

"Derek…" Addison backed in to the headboard, pulling her knees to her chest. "Derek…" Addison shrieked as Derek wrapped his arms around her. "Derek, you're all wet!"

Derek laughed. "So?"

"So…" Addison shoved him away from her. "You're all wet. Now I'm all wet."

"I can dry you off." Derek said, grinning and pulling the towel off of his waist. Derek wrapped the towel around her stomach and gathered it around her back, lifting her in to his arms and carrying her towards the bathroom.

"Derek…put me down."

Derek laughed. "Okay." Derek set Addison down in the shower stall and turned on the shower. "Better?"

Addison glared and pulled him in to the shower with her. His little prank was not going to be wasted.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

"Ellie, where are we going?" George asked, looking around as the car pulled in to a back alley that faced the water.

"You'll see, George."

"I don't want to see, I want you to tell me."

"You're a pain in the ass."

George laughed. "So are you."

"Well good." Ellie said, parking the car facing the water and turning it off. "We're a perfect match then. Let's go." Ellie grabbed a bag from the back seat and got out of the car, locking it once George shut the passenger side door. "Come on." She said, reaching for his hand. "This was my favorite place growing up. PT, our friend Annie, and I used to hang out here all the time." Ellie shoved open the door to a vacant building and led George inside.

"Is this safe?"

Ellie laughed. "Yeah, it's safe. Come on." Ellie lead George up two flights of stairs to the third story of the building. "We would come here after school to hang out, and whenever one of us had a problem with a friend, or a boyfriend…we'd come here. I spent a lot of time here my last two years of high school…Ellis and I weren't exactly each others favorite people."

George nodded. "That doesn't surprise me." George looked down at the bag in Ellie's other hand and grinned. "What's in the bag?"

Ellie smiled and set the bag down, letting go of his hand. "A blanket, to sit on, and towels."

"George cocked one eyebrow. "Towels?"

Ellie nodded and lead George to a large hole in the wall. The building sat right on the edge of the docks, and a person could jump right from the third floor in to the water. "The water is a little gross, but it's fun."

"El…you could get hurt."

Ellie sighed. "George, I've been jumping out of this building in to the water since I was eight years old. It's fine." Ellie took off her heels and shed her t-shirt and jeans, and stood at the edge of the building in just her underwear. "Are you going to come with me or not?"

George stared at her, and then sighed and took off his clothes down to his boxers. "I can't believe I'm doing this." Ellie grinned and walked to the other end of the building at a straight shot from the hole. George joined her and took hold of her hand.

"Ready?"

George sighed. "I hate having an adventurous girlfriend. Yes."

Ellie grinned and squeezed his hand. "We're going to run on the count of three. One…Two…THREE!" The couple took of running across the building and launched their bodies out of the building. Ellie let out an excited squeal while George let out a scared shriek as they went flying in to the air and landed in the water. Ellie smiled as her head bobbed above water, and she brushed George's hair out of his face. "Fun, right?"

George leaned in and kissed her, and then smiled. "Let's go again."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie walked in to her hotel room, her hair still soaked. 12 times they had jumped out of that building, and 12 times George had shrieked like he was seriously scared. Which he probably was. Ellie stepped in to the main part of her hotel room and gasped. The room was decorated with flower petals and lit candles, and in the middle of the bed was a white box with a black ribbon wrapped around it.

"Oh, George…" She whispered, looking around the room. Ellie slid the card out of the tied ribbon and opened the envelope.

_Happy Valentines Day, Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey.  
__You amaze me. You have a passion for what you do, and you're not afraid to show it. And I love that you're not afraid to stand up for your friends. I know we've only been dating 8 days, but I really like you. I hope that this Valentines Day has been better than your last one.  
__- George.  
__P.S. Addison says,_

_Boo…you whore. I can't believe he gave you this. Hate you._

Ellie laughed at how horrible Addison's chicken scratch looked underneath George's swift all caps writing. Ellie made a mental note to call Addison again, and set the card down on the bed. She pulled the black ribbon off of the box and gasped. "George…" Ellie ran her fingers over the raised writing of _Vera Wang_ on the outside of the box and then lifted the lid. Sitting on top, were a pair of Jimmy Choo satin sling slides in silver. Ellie set the shoes on the bed and opened the tissue paper, revealing an ivory Satin dress with a beaded criss-cross on the front. "Oh my God." Ellie picked up her phone and hit speed dial number 3.

"You opened it."

"Did you help him pick this out?"

"Yeah."

"Addie…it's gorgeous, but it's so expensive…"

"Ellie…he wanted to. He had the money…and he didn't pay for the shoes. I had Savvy send them from my closet a few days ago."

"God, Addie…"

"That dress…he picked it out, El. He asked me to help him find something, so on the tenth, you were in surgery with Derek, and we went shopping. He saw it…he has great taste, El…and it's gorgeous."

"Yeah…" Ellie breathed, staring at the dress.

"You have to get ready…but I want to see you in it."

"Okay. I'll call you later."

"Sure." Ellie hung up the phone and stared at the dress. It was perfect.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

George stood in front of Ellie's door and took a deep breath. God he hoped she had liked the dress. George knocked on the hotel room door and wiped his palms on his pant legs. There really wasn't any reason for him to be that nervous. The door opened and George's jaw dropped just slightly as Ellie came in to view. Her dirty blonde hair was down and wavy, falling on her shoulders with grace, and the dress fit perfectly, sliding across every contour of her body.

"Wow." George whispered, staring at her. "You look…amazing."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you George…for the wow, and for the dress." Ellie giggled. "You have great taste."

George blushed and then smiled. "Well, I'm glad you like it. Ready?" Ellie nodded, blew out the last candle, grabbed her purse and took George's arm.

"You look nice." She said, looking up and down the suit he was wearing.

He laughed. "Thanks. I haven't worn this since…" George sighed. "Since the mixer right before my internship started."

"You had a black dress with a slit at the sides, strappy sandals and….now you think I'm gay." Ellie mimicked, laughing.

"She told you that?" Ellie nodded. "Damn it…I can't believe you're even going out with me. She probably made me sound like an idiot."

Ellie grinned. "She did…at first, but eventually she raved about you…and I don't really trust how Meredith portrays people right away, because she makes snap judgments." George nodded as they walked out to the front, where George's car was sitting. "Where are we going?"

George smiled. "It's a surprise."

* * *

**7:30 P.M.**

Addison and Derek pulled up outside a place that Addison had never seen before but that Derek was very familiar with, she just didn't know it.

"This is someone's house."

"I know."

"I thought…"

Derek grinned. "It'll be fun Add…just relax, okay?"

"Whose house is this?"

Derek looked down. "Well…technically, it's Meredith's…" Addison's eyes popped. "But, she's working, all night, and George and Izzie live here too. That's why we're here."

Addison sighed. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I wouldn't bring you here if she was going to be here. I'm not a prick."

Addison laughed. "Al right…let's go."

"You're sure? We don't have to…"

"No, Derek, it's fine."

Derek smiled. "Okay."

* * *

Izzie stood in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the dinner she had made, when the doorbell rang. Izzie wiped her hands off on the apron she had tossed around her waist, and then took it off, leaving it on the counter. Izzie made her way to the front door, passing Preston and Cristina, who were sitting at the table, talking, and George and Ellie, who were in the middle of the living room, slowly dancing to the music that was playing. Alex wasn't there yet. 

Izzie smiled and opened the door. "Hi."

Addison laughed. "You're the one pulling this off? You're amazing."

Izzie grinned and opened the door wider. "Not really. I didn't pull this off entirely by myself." Addison and Derek came inside and hung their coats on the coat rack. "Preston helped."

Addison spun. "Preston Burke?" Izzie nodded. "Wow…I didn't know…"

Izzie grinned. "His mother owns a restaurant in Alabama. You didn't know that?"

Addison shook her head, disbelieving. "No. Then again…I don't know Preston very well." At that moment Ellie laughed in the other room and Addison grinned. "Ellie's here?"

Derek sighed. "Of course she's here. I just told you…George and Izzie live here. You'd think that would click."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Well, it didn't."

Derek laughed and leaned closer to Izzie. "Sometimes, my wife is so…"

"So what?" Addison asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Perfect?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Asshole." She spat out, going in to the living room. Derek laughed and smiled at Izzie before following Addison. He wasn't watching where he was going and almost ran in to her.

"What…?"

Addison covered his mouth with her hand. "Look at them." Derek and Addison watched as Ellie and George moved slowly to the music that was playing softly. Ellie was grinning and George was whispering something in her ear. "We used to be like that."

Derek looked down and took his wife's hand. "We can still be like that, Addison."

"It's not the same, Derek."

Derek squeezed her hand and looked her in the eye. "Do you want to dance, Addie?"

She smiled, but shook her head. "Not yet. Later."

Derek nodded. "Okay." The couple moved quietly past Ellie and George and in to the other room, where Burke and Cristina were sitting.

"Derek, Addison…hi." Burke said, standing. Cristina stiffened and stood as well, smiling weakly.

"Hi Preston." Addison smiled at Cristina. "Dr. Yang."

"Dr. Mont…Dr. Shepherd."

"No formalities." Preston whispered to Cristina. "Tonight she is not your boss." Cristina sighed.

"You know, Cristina, I never got the chance to thank you." Cristina cocked one eyebrow. "Izzie said that you helped her put all of those flowers in the trailer…" Addison smiled. "Thank you."

Cristina scoffed. "Well, you're welcome, but it was his idea." Cristina said, gesturing towards Derek. "I kind of got roped in to it. I was Izzie's last choice for help."

"That's not true." Izzie said, coming in to the room. "I…well…" Izzie sighed. "Okay, that's kind of true. But Alex would have been of no use, and, well, Meredith was kind of a last resort. And I couldn't take George. Someone had to distract Addison."

Cristina shook her head. "I don't get it. Everyone wants to hang out with O'Malley all of a sudden. What the hell happened?"

"There's no need to be rude." George said, coming in to the room. "People just like me better."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Cristina slumped down in her chair as Ellie came in to the room, Alex in tow.

"Look who I found." She said, grinning. "The poor kid didn't know whether to ring the doorbell or just walk in."

"You really didn't have to tell them that." He hissed. Ellie laughed.

"Ellie…that dress is amazing." Cristina said. Addison cocked one eyebrow. "They were already dancing when Burke and I showed up. I didn't get to see it."

Ellie grinned. "George picked it out."

Cristina spun around to face George. "Really? Wow…O'Malley has pretty good taste."

"Addison helped." George said, his face red. "I didn't do it myself."

Cristina laughed. "No wonder he did such a good job. Someone helped." Cristina smiled and stood. "I need a drink…Dr. Shep…Addison, Derek? You two want anything?"

"I'll help you." Addison said, following Cristina in to the kitchen. Ellie followed close behind, running her fingers through her hair. "Ellie…that dress really does look fantastic on you."

Ellie laughed. "Well, thanks." Ellie laughed as Cristina rummaged through the cabinets. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for liquor. I know Meredith is a wasp, but come on…"

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "What did you call her?"

"A…wasp…" Cristina said, turning around and spotting the liquor in plain sight on the counter in front of Addison. "Well now I feel like an idiot."

"A wasp?" Ellie asked, sitting down at the counter.

"Yeah…have you never heard that?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm not sure…possibly…"

"It's a well-to-do young professional, who's almost always white, and usually has a lot of money." Addison said, pouring scotch in to a glass for Derek. "They also tend to be part of a certain social scene to better their career."

Ellie stared at Cristina. "You just classified my sister." She said, laughing.

Cristina mixed herself a drink. "Honey, I had her classified before Thanksgiving."

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

Ellie stood on the front porch of Meredith's townhouse, trying to get some fresh oxygen in to her system. She always drank too much when she was around Addison…it was like a freaking contest with them.

"Hey…" George came out on to the porch and put his arm on her lower back. "Aren't you cold?"

Ellie shook her head. "Not really." George handed her a glass of champagne and Ellie laughed. "Oh good, more alcohol."

George grinned. "I can take it back inside…"

"No, it's okay." Ellie said, balancing the glass on the railing. "I have nothing against alcohol…I've just had a lot tonight…although, relative to last Valentines Day…" Ellie laughed and looked down. "I've had almost nothing."

"What was your last Valentines Day like?"

Ellie sighed. "Mark and Derek were both in a surgery when Addison and I left the hospital…Mark didn't show up until almost 2 am…" Ellie looked at George. "His surgery finished at 10:00."

George cringed. "He was with Addison."

Ellie nodded. "Yep. Actually…I'm assuming he was with Addison. I never actually asked…I didn't want to know."

George nodded. "Understandable." Ellie subconsciously shivered and George put his arm around her. "Are you sure you don't want to go inside?"

Ellie took a sip of the champagne. "Inside sounds pretty good." George led her in to the house, his arm still around her, and in to the dining room, where everyone else is sitting.

"You alright?" Derek asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I was just getting some fresh air."

"Too much alcohol?" Burke asked, grinning.

Ellie smiled at Burke. "Less than last year." She said, her eyes locking with Addisons. George squeezed her shoulder and then brought his hand around to lace their fingers together. Ellie downed the rest of the champagne and let go of George's hand, heading in to the kitchen. Addison stood and George shook his head.

"Bad idea." He said, sighing. "Don't follow her." George leaned against the wall. "She needs to cool off…"

"George!" George laughed as Ellie's voice snapped at him from the kitchen.

"Just kidding." He said, smiling. George went in to the kitchen and led Ellie outside.

"What are you doing?" She asked, wrenching free of his grasp.

"You're smashed. And you're going to say something stupid."

"No I'm not." Ellie snapped, leaning against the balcony.

"You almost started a fight with Addison."

"I should have."

George shook his head. "I thought you two were done with all of that."

"I forgave her, but I didn't forget it. That's not something you forget, George."

"No, you're right, it's not." George sighed. "Can you be inside without freaking out?"

"I don't know."

"We'll get you some coffee…"

"Coffee doesn't make me sober, George; it just makes me a more alert drunk."

George laughed. "You're fine. Just watch yourself."

"I shouldn't have to watch myself."

George raised his eyebrows. "You really want to get in to an argument with Addison in front of four interns and Burke?"

Ellie sighed. "No."

"Okay, then. Save it for later."

Ellie nodded. "Whatever." George squeezed her hand and they walked back inside.

"Are you okay now?" Derek asked. Ellie waved him off and sat down next to Cristina.

"You're good, right?" Cristina whispered.

"Yeah." Ellie took a drink of the Manhattan she had left sitting in front of her plate.

"Stop." George said as she went to take another drink. "You're done." George took the drink from Ellie. "You've had enough."

"Okay, _Mom_. If you say so."

George shook his head. "You're just like your sister. Ridiculous when you're drunk." Ellie took a deep breath as he took the drink in to the kitchen, promising herself that she would yell at George for that later. Derek's hand touched hers from across the table and she looked over at him.

"Are you okay?" He mouthed. Ellie nodded and pulled her hand back and in to her lap. Derek sighed. "Add…come on." Derek stood and put his hand out for Addison to take.

"Are you guys leaving?" Izzie asked.

"No." Derek said, lacing his fingers with Addisons. "We're just going in there." He said, motioning to the living room with his head. Addison came around the side of the table and they walked in to the living room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cristina whispered once they were out of ear shot.

"Nothing. I'm fine." Ellie took a deep breath. "I'm okay…I just have too much alcohol in my system." Ellie smiled and stood up. "I'm really okay…" Cristina nodded as Ellie walked in to the kitchen.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to come in here." George said, defiant.

"You compared me to Meredith." She snapped, her voice low. "I am not Meredith."

"I know, Ellie. But you're doing that thing she does, where she only gets mad or does something stupid when she's drunk."

"I didn't say anything."

George nodded. "I know. I'm sorry…it just…came out."

Ellie shrugged and leaned against the refrigerator. "It's fine."

"It's not fine." George said, walking over to her and taking her in to his arms. "I shouldn't be getting mad at you on Valentines Day."

Ellie took a shaky breath. "Mark and I fought every Valentines Day. The year before last he told me it didn't matter what I thought because he was in love with Addison, and it was only a matter of time…he apologized the next morning, and said he was trying to make me jealous…I should have been paying attention."

"Is that what this is about?" George asked, looking Ellie in the eye. "Ellie…I'm not Mark."

"I know George…I'm sorry. Valentines Day has kind of sucked for a while…I just…I didn't really expect anything, and you made it so perfect…I'm sorry…"

George shook his head. "No…don't be sorry. It's okay." George looked her in the eye and smiled. "It's okay. I'm not Mark. I'm not going to hurt you." Ellie nodded and George kissed her. He could taste the salt from her tears as his tongue parted her lips and he deepened the kiss.

"A room would be good." Cristina snapped, coming in to the kitchen. "Seriously."

"Sorry." Ellie said, wiping her cheeks and laughing. "We didn't think anyone was going to walk in." Cristina shrugged.

"You want to go?" George whispered, leaning towards Ellie. She smiled and nodded. "We're headed out anyway."

Cristina looked up. "Okay. See you tomorrow." Ellie smiled and nodded as they walked in to the dining room.

"Izzie…we're going to go." Ellie said, smiling. "Thank you so much…" Izzie nodded and stood, giving Ellie a hug.

"Are you okay?" She asked, whispering in her ear. Ellie nodded. "Okay."

Ellie stepped back and squeezed Alex's shoulder. "See you later Karev." He nodded and Ellie turned to Burke as George pulled Izzie aside to talk to her. "Thanks for helping Izzie with dinner. God knows she needed it." Burke laughed and stood. "It was really nice to have dinner with you, Dr. Burke."

"It's Preston." Burke said, smiling and shaking Ellie's hand. "I hope you had a good Valentines Day."

"Thanks Preston. You too." Ellie took George's hand and they headed to the front door, pausing outside the living room. "I don't want to interrupt them, but they'll kill me if I don't say goodbye." Ellie and George watched as Derek held Addison close to him, moving so slowly to the music that they almost couldn't tell that they were moving.

"Maybe if you cough really loud…" Ellie laughed, causing Derek to look up. "That works too."

"We're leaving." Ellie mouthed, smiling. Derek leaned down and whispered something to Addison and she let go of him and turned around.

"You're leaving?" Ellie nodded. "Are you okay?" Ellie sighed and pulled Addison away from George and Derek. "What…?"

"Don't talk. Last Valentines Day…were you with Mark?"

"Ellie, I thought…"

"Answer the damn question, Addie."

Addison looked down. "He showed up at the house after he got out of surgery."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." She sighed. "That's it. That's all I wanted."

"El…"

"Really, Addie…that's all I wanted." Ellie smiled.

"I thought this was over. I though we were done…"

"It's never going to be over." Ellie said, sighing. "I forgive you, but I didn't forget it, Add. I just wanted to know. That's all. We're fine." Addison stared at her, locking eyes with her.

"We really are fine."

Ellie laughed. "I told you." Ellie hugged Addison. "I'll get your shoes back to you…"

"El, they were a gift. Besides…I don't have anything as cute as what you're wearing to go with those. Hold on to them."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you." Addison nodded and they joined Derek and George.

"You got it?"

"I've got it."

"You'll remember?"

Derek sighed. "I'm not incompetent, O'Malley."

"That I would seriously argue with." Ellie said, laughing.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Sure. Okay. Beat up on me."

"Well you make it so easy…" Ellie grinned.

"Ha ha." Derek stepped towards her. "Are you okay?"

Ellie laughed. "I'm fine." Derek raised his eyebrows. "What is with you people? I'm not Meredith…when I say I'm fine…I'm actually fine."

Derek sighed and gave her a hug. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ellie grinned. "Bright and early!"

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "I wouldn't exactly constitute 10:00 as bright and early."

"10? George!" Ellie hit his arm.

"Ow. They're attendings, El, we're not." Ellie rolled her eyes.

"What time do you have to be there?" Addison asked.

Ellie sighed. "6:30." Ellie shook her head at George. "You get us the day off, but you can't manage to get us a decent start time?"

George shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, El. I'm an intern…I don't get very much say."

Ellie laughed. "This is true." Ellie sighed. "Alright…we'll see you two tomorrow." Addison and Derek nodded and Ellie and George left, hand in hand.

"You want to go back to what we were doing?" Derek asked, running his fingers through Addison's hair. She nodded and they went back in to the living room. What they didn't know was that the minute they were out of sight, Ellie was throwing up over the balcony. The though of Mark and Addison together still made her nauseous, and her alcohol intake certainly hadn't helped.

**Okay. That's it. It's long. On Microsoft Word it's 17 pages…most of mine are like 10-11 pages. It's long. But I love it. And I hope you love it too! – Mel**


	23. Act Naturally

**Hey guys. Thanks for all the reviews on the last one…I'm really glad y'all liked it!**

**Chapter Title: "Act Naturally" by Semisonic**

**Half Love**

"**Act Naturally"**

_Act naturally  
Just be you beautiful  
Just be you casual  
I'll be me before the fall  
You be you before this all came down  
Don't let our troubles show  
Don't let anybody know  
Till we get it figured out  
Don't give them anything that they could doubt –  
_"_Act Naturally"  
__By Semisonic_

**February 15th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie slammed through the double doors of the OR, tossing her gloves. Time of Death – 8:58 a.m. Ellie took her cap off and slammed against the wall, closing her eyes, only to have to open them again when someone cleared their throat. Ellie looked up and sighed. "I called him. He said I could do it without him."

Richard nodded. "I know. He's here though."

"Really? He's early."

Richard laughed. "Surprisingly enough, they were bored."

Ellie laughed. "Of course they were. Like you could expect anything else from the Shepherds." Ellie stood up straight, twisting her cap in her hands. "Where are they?"

"I'm not sure…probably finding patients to tend to."

Ellie grinned. "Sure." Ellie smiled. "I'll see you later, Chief." Ellie slid past him and began to walk away.

"Eliot…" Ellie turned back around. "You know, yesterday, you reminded me of your mother…you're a very good surgeon, Ellie."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you."

"If it weren't hospital policy, you not calling Derek wouldn't have mattered, you know that, right?" Ellie nodded. "Okay. I'm impressed with you. You could be the next big neurosurgeon." Ellie grinned. "You just have to watch your temper."

Ellie laughed. "I'll try to remember that."

Richard nodded. "I'll see you around, Eliot." Ellie nodded and headed down the hall, only to run directly in to Addison.

"Here." Addison shoved a coffee cup at her, a grin on her face.

"What is this?" Ellie asked, eying the coffee cup.

"Hot chocolate…Juju." Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I heard about your patient…"

"Seriously? It just happened!"

"News travels fast."

Ellie scoffed. "No kidding."

"Are you okay?"

Ellie stared. "Yeah. I've had patients die on me before, Add…"

"That's not what I meant. Last night…"

Ellie sighed. "Look…I hate Valentines Day, okay? Or at least I did. George made me not hate it so much, but…Mark and I never really had any good Valentines Days. Except the first one." Ellie smiled.

"Because we were in Paris."

"Yeah…because we were in Paris. Last year really sucked, and…I don't know, I just kind of hate Valentines Day…but I'm okay."

Addison nodded. "Okay."

Ellie took a gulp of the hot chocolate and headed down the hall, leaving Addison in the middle of the hallway, still unsure.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round...the wheels on the bus go..."

"Christ, Meredith, stop!" Alex hissed, banging his head against the elevator wall. "You're killing me."

"I'm sorry." She said, sighing. "Someone got it stuck in my head this morning." Meredith said, looking pointedly at Ellie.

"His fault!" Ellie said, pointing at George. "God knows what got him started."

George shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea. But I love that now it's stuck in your head."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You would." She leaned her head against the elevator wall and sighed. "How long have we been in here?"

"10 minutes." Addison said from across the small space.

"That's it?"

Addison nodded. "It seems like a lot longer than that."

"I can't handle just sitting here anymore." Meredith said, slumping down against the wall and placing her head on the floor. "We have to do something."

Ellie shrugged, locking eyes with Addison. "It's only been ten minutes." Ellie and Addison stared at each other, neither making a movement.

"Okay, I know you guys love doing that, but it sucks when you two have a silent conversation. It makes the rest of us feel stupid." Alex said.

"We're not having a silent conversation." Ellie smiled. "And you are stupid."

Addison laughed, their eye contact not breaking. "Nice going. Insult the interns."

"You used to do it."

"She still does it." George said, closing his eyes.

"Ouch." Ellie smiled. "I think you hurt his feelings, Addie."

Addison shrugged. "He's tough. He'll get over it."

"What the hell are you two doing?" Alex asked, get antsy. "If you're not having a silent conversation or communicating telepathically, then what the hell are you doing?"

Ellie laughed. "Staring contest."

Meredith sat up. "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"How old are you?" She asked, curling up in the corner.

"I'm almost 40 thank you very much..." Addison cringed. "Ew. Forget I said that."

Alex laughed. "Who wins?"

"The last person standing. Haven't you ever had a staring contest before?" Ellie asked, keeping eye contact with Addison.

"Yes. But you two have weird rules for things."

Addison grinned. "This is true."

Ellie smiled. "Yeah, I guess it is." The 5 doctors sat in silence for almost another ten minutes before Ellie, her eyes still locked with Addisons, reached over and grabbed Meredith's pager from off the floor and chucked it at the wall above Addisons head. Try as she might, Addison couldn't stop herself from blinking. "I win!"

"You cheated." Alex said.

"No I didn't. The only rule is that the first person to break eye contact loses."

Alex shook his head and turned to George. "See...weird rules."

"Does anyone even know we're in here?" Meredith groaned her head in the corner of the elevator.

"God you're annoying." Ellie said, leaning back against the wall. "Who cares?"

"I care."

"Obviously." Alex said, grinning. "Sit up Grey, we need to do something."

"We could play 20 questions." George said, running his fingers through Ellie's hair as she placed her head in his lap.

"I've got one better." Addison said, smiling. "Truth."

"That's not a half bad idea." Alex said. "Everybody else up for it?"

Meredith grinned. "As long as you start."

Alex nodded. "Okay. Let's see...I walked in on someone having sex in the on-call room three days ago..."

"That was you?" Addison hissed her face red.

"Oh. My. God." Alex's eyes widened. "That was you?"

Ellie burst in to laughter, sitting up. "Did you forget to lock the door again?"

"Yeah, they did...wait..." Alex turned to Ellie. "Again?"

Ellie laughed. "Oh please. The number of interns in New York that are scarred for life..."

"Conversation over." Addison snapped. "Next."

"No. Alex's wasn't good enough. You have one better than that." Meredith said. "No offense..."

Addison shook her head. "None taken."

Alex sighed. "Fine. I had a sex dream about someone in this elevator...and it wasn't O'Malley."

Ellie looked from her sister to Addison and raised her eyebrows. "Okay...are you going to make us guess?"

Alex looked down. "No...it wasn't Grey..."

"Which one?" Meredith asked.

Alex sighed. "Either."

Ellie's eyes widened. "No way." She burst in to laughter. "Please tell me you're kidding."

Alex's face was beet red. "Nope."

Ellie leaned against the wall. "Oh god." Ellie locked eyes with Addison, who was already red in the face, and soon Addison burst in to laughter.

"Jesus." Addison spat out, leaning against the wall. "God that's funny."

"You guys are doing that telepathetic thing again..." Alex said.

"It's telepathic, moron." Meredith hissed, grinning. "Let's move on please. The images I'm seeing are starting to really scare me."

George laughed. "Okay...my parents made me take ballroom dancing lessons when I was a kid. I had to compete once...and my partner and I won. I was the Junior Ballroom Dancing Champion." Alex, Addison and Meredith died laughing.

"That's cute, George." Ellie said, lacing their fingers together.

"Not cute...not cute, Ellie!"

She giggled. "Sorry. That's very masculine." She said, lowering her voice when she said 'masculine'.

"Next." George hissed, looking pointedly at Ellie.

"Okay, okay..." Ellie took a deep breath, trying to control her giggles. "Uh...when I was eight, my friends Annie, PT and I crashed a party."

"You can't crash a party when you're eight." Alex said, rolling his eyes.

"Yes you can. Annie's older sister was throwing a going away party for one of her friends, and PT and I were hanging out at the Dishmans..."

"Did you say Dishman?" Addison asked her eyes wide. "As in Evie Dishman?"

Ellie nodded slowly. "Yeah..."

"You were...oh my god...that was for me. Evie was throwing a going away party for me because my I was moving to New York to live with my Aunt." Ellie grinned. "Which girl were you?"

"The blonde one..."

"You got me drenched!"

Ellie's eyes widened. "That was you? Oh my God..." Ellie giggled. "I...when Annie, PT and I walked out front, they were having a water balloon fight. Evie's friend was in the perfect place to get hit by the hose, so...I turned it on and absolutely soaked her...I can't believe that was you!" Ellie said, grinning.

"I always hated that little kid." Addison shook her head. "That is so weird. Okay...moving on."

Meredith grimaced. "Ugh...okay...when I was really little, my Mom wanted me to be a surgeon, but I rebelled and wanted to be..." Meredith sighed. "I wanted to be a plumber."

"You're kidding." Addison said her eyes wide.

"Nope. From the time I was three to the time I was about eight I wanted to be a plumber."

Alex grinned. "That I would have paid to see. Seriously."

Meredith shrugged. "I have no doubt of that...Addison?"

Addison sighed. "Okay...um..." Addison grinned. "Okay, you'll like this. I played soccer in college, and we had a tournament one weekend in Chicago my junior, and Derek came to visit...the rule was, no guys in the girls rooms, no girls in the guys rooms...you know...the general rule." Meredith nodded and Ellie smiled; she had heard this story before. "So anyway, Derek snuck in to my room in the middle of the night, and we didn't do anything, but this one girl on the team absolutely hated me, and she wanted my starting position..."

"As what?" Alex asked.

"If this is part of your sex fantasy..." George grinned.

"Shut up, O'Malley!" Alex snapped, leaning against the wall.

"I was a starting midfielder. So, even though all of the girls in my room didn't care if Derek was there, the one that hated me was in the room next door and she heard his voice and told our coach...and got me taken out of the rest of the tournament."

Meredith sighed. "You know..."

"It gets better." Ellie said, grinning.

"So, the next morning, the coach tells me that I'm out of the tournament, and I'm, of course, pissed. Like, ridiculously pissed. I manage to control myself during the day, but in the middle of the night, Derek and I sneak in to her room, and, while she's asleep, fake tan her face, arms, and legs."

Meredith's eyes widened. "You were right. This does get better."

Addison grinned. "So, she wakes up the next morning, and she's orange. Like, orange orange. But she can't prove it was us, because her roommates hated her as much as I did, so no one was going to tell. However, I got caught."

"Let me guess...there was still fake tan on your hands?" Meredith asked.

Addison shook her head. "Not on mine. On Derek's. My coach figured it out because Derek forgot to wash his hands when he got back to his room, so he had fake tan all over his hands." Meredith shook her head and laughed. "Now, I got caught, but I didn't get in trouble." Meredith raised her eyebrows. "My coach thought it was funny, and he made the girl play the rest of the tournament that way. The best part, her last name was Tanner, so her nickname the rest of the season...actually, the rest of college...was Fake'nBake Tanner."

Meredith grinned. "That's pretty good."

Addison smiled. "I have better ones, but they're a lot longer." As soon as Addison finished her statement, the elevator started up again, causing a round of cheers from the 5 doctors inside. When they stepped out of the elevator, Derek was standing in the hallway.

"What the hell happened?" He asked. Ellie shrugged, taking George's hand. Alex headed down the hall, avoiding eye contact with Derek at all costs. "What's wrong with him?" He asked.

Addison laughed. "Don't worry about it."

Derek sighed. "Did you make them play Truth?"

Addison laughed. "Make? No. I suggested it, and they had no problem with it. Ellie and I found out that we're connected in yet another way."

Derek laughed. "Oh good. That's what you two need. Another reason to be as freakishly close as you are."

Ellie grinned. "Meh. Addie told the Fake'nBake Tanner story."

Derek smiled. "I love that story."

Addison rolled her eyes. "You would."

"It was a pretty good story." Meredith said, leaning against the wall a few feet away from the two couples. "You know, Dr. Shepherd...if you've got more, I'd love to hear them."

Addison smiled. "Really?" Meredith nodded. "Well, I'll make a point to tell them to you then...and for the record...you can call me Addison, you know. And not just when we're locked in an elevator."

Meredith smiled. "Sure thing. See you guys later." Meredith headed down the hallway and Derek turned to Addison.

"Did she just...?" Addison nodded. "Wow."

"Hey, she's not horrible." Ellie said. "Besides, Meredith had to sit through Alex's sex dreams and George's ballroom dancing escapades before getting to the good stuff."

Derek laughed. "Ballroom dancing?" George glared.

"What?" Ellie asked, grinning. "It's cute."

"Not cute...not cute, Ellie!" He said, lunging at her. Ellie raced down the hallway, and George took off running after her, leaving Derek and Addison in stitches by themselves.

"So it wasn't bad?"

Addison shook her head. "No. It was good. Oh, and the person that walked in on us the day before my birthday?" Derek nodded. "That was Alex."

Derek's eyes widened. "Oh god. No wonder Karev wouldn't look at me."

Addison laughed. "Actually...there's more."

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

"You're a pretty good actor." Ellie looked up from watching Madison in the isolette as Derek walked in. "I mean, really…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I hate Valentines Day." Derek said, trying to mimic Ellie.

"I do hate Valentines Day, thank you very much."

"I'm sure you do, but that is not the reason you were three sheets to the wind last night."

"I wasn't three sheets to the wind." Ellie said. "Two at the most."

Derek laughed. "Come on, what was really going on?"

"Nothing." Ellie said, looking down and in to the isolette. "Even though I know this isn't probable, I swear to God she has George's eyes."

"Don't change the subject."

Ellie laughed. "I didn't. The subject was finished. There was nothing wrong with me last night."

"I don't believe you."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "I don't really care if you believe me. Sorry, Derek, but…I don't."

"Ellie…" Ellie squeezed the tiny finger of her new child and stood. "Wait…"

"I have patients, Derek."

"That's not a very good excuse." He said, following her out of the NICU.

"Why not?" She asked, stepping in to the open elevator. "You use it." She said, locking eyes with him as the elevator doors shut. Derek stared at the elevator, and didn't move until Meredith came up and stood next to him.

"Is everything set for tonight?"

Derek jumped. "Huh? Oh…yeah."

"Are you al right?"

"Did I ever tell you I had patients in order to get out of a conversation?" He asked, sighing.

"Not that I can remember…" Derek looked down. "Why?"

"It's not important." Derek sighed as the elevator doors opened, and then smiled when Addison stepped out. "Hi."

"Hi." She said, grinning. "Hey Meredith."

Meredith nodded. "Addison." Meredith stepped in to the elevator and then stopped the door with her hand. "Derek…" Derek looked up, his face quizzical. "Ask her." Meredith said, cocking her head towards Addison. He nodded and she let the elevator doors shut.

"What was that about?"

Derek sighed. "When we…did I…" Derek took a deep breath. "Did I ever tell you I had patients in order to get out of a conversation?"

Addison looked down. "Yeah, Derek, you did. Not so much at the beginning, but recently…I mean, before…"

"I'm sorry Addie. I guess I never realized how much it hurts." Addison cocked one eyebrow. "I was trying to get Ellie to talk to me, and she blew me off…" Derek laughed. "I sound like an idiot, but…"

"No you don't." Addison said, grinning. "I hate it when Ellie blows me off too. What were you trying to talk to her about anyway?"

"Last night." Addison cringed. "There had to be more to her alcohol intake than that she 'hates Valentines Day'."

Addison sighed. "There was. Derek…do you remember last Valentines Day?"

Derek nodded. "You were in surgery from eight until noon, and I was in surgery from one until almost 3 in the morning."

Addison nodded. "I…there's something I never told you about that day…"

"You spent Valentines Day with Mark?" Addison cringed at the pain in his voice. "I…I…" Derek turned around and headed for the back stairwell.

"Derek…don't walk away. Please…"

"Addie…" Derek sighed. "Please, just…I can't…" Derek didn't finish his sentence, but turned and walked down the stairwell. Addison leaned against the wall, her head in her hands, trying to control her tears.

* * *

"Ellie…" Ellie headed down the hallway towards the locker room, trying to ignore Derek. "El…" 

"Go away, Derek."

"Ellie, wait…" Derek finally caught up to her and grabbed her arm, spinning her towards him. "I'm sorry for trying to get you to talk to me…I didn't…I didn't know about last Valentines Day." Ellie stared at him. "I didn't know that Mark and Addison spent Valentines Day together." Ellie's face went pale and she dove for the nearest garbage can, throwing up everything she'd eaten since that morning, which hadn't been much. "Whoa…Ellie…"

"Don't." She said, spitting in to the garbage can. Derek handed her a towel to wipe her mouth and the sweat off of her forehead, and led her down the hall.

"El…are you alright?" Ellie shrugged as they sat down on a lone gurney. "I really am sorry for interrogating you. I never though that Mark and Addison would be…" Ellie dry-heaved over the side of the gurney once before racing to the same garbage can as before and throwing up whatever was left. "Ellie…"

Ellie slammed against the wall, tears streaming down her face. "Don't. Please don't. Derek…please, don't talk about it." Ellie slid down the wall on to the floor and Derek sat down next to her. "Please…don't talk about it."

"Okay." Derek whispered, putting his arm around her and hugging her to him. "We're done. We're done talking about it."

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

"_You wouldn't be you if you weren't trying to work it out."_ Meredith's words to him rang in Derek's head as he sat in the observation deck, watching Addison perform a surgery. _I am trying._ He thought, sighing. _But I don't know if I can do it._ Addison handed a scalpel to Izzie and looked up at the observation deck, locking eyes with Derek. She was in pain, he could tell, but so was he. Derek managed a smile before Addison turned back around, and then stood and left the observation deck, his arms crossed over his chest. He stood outside the double doors of the OR, waiting, and 15 minutes later, Izzie and a nurse came out of the OR, wheeling Addisons patient. A second nurse followed, a preemie in an isolette coming with her. Addison came last, tossing her gloves in to the garbage can and taking off her cap.

"Hi." Derek said softly.

Addison smiled. "Hi."

"I'd forgotten how good you are. I love watching you perform a surgery." Addison smiled again and Derek stretched out his hand. "Come with me." Addison took his hand and they walked down the hall in silence, Derek's thumb playing with the spot where Addisons rings would be if they weren't still pinned to her scrubs. "I love you." He whispered, still looking straight ahead. Addison's heart jumped. Derek led her down the hall to where he and Ellie had been just a few hours before. "I…hearing that you spent Valentines Day with Mark sucked."

"Derek…"

"Don't. Let me talk." Addison nodded. "Valentines Day was always our holiday, and that stung." Derek sighed. "But I know I wasn't there. I'm not saying it's okay, but…I wasn't there for you…and I'm sorry."

Addison nodded. "I'm sorry too, Derek. I really am…"

"I know." He said, playing with her hand. Derek looked down, his forehead touching Addisons. "I wish we could go back."

"Me too." She whispered, leaning against the wall, pulling him with her. Instead of letting their foreheads touch again, Derek kissed her softly, parting her lips with his tongue. Derek placed soft, quick kisses on her lips, their fingers still intertwined.

"Ahem." Derek jumped back, Richards low cough startling him. "As good as it is to see you two back to where you were when I met you, I need a neurosurgical consult."

"I can do it." Ellie said, walking up behind Richard. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I was looking for Derek…but if you need a consult…" Ellie shrugged. "If you want."

Richard looked from Derek to Ellie and smiled. "Absolutely, Eliot. Come with me." Richard headed back down the hall, Eliot flashing Derek a grin and a wink before following him.

Derek grinned and turned back to Addison. "Now…where exactly was I?" Addison laughed and pulled Derek towards her by the collar of his white coat, bringing his lips right to hers.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

"Why are we here again?" Addison asked as they pulled up in front of Meredith's house.

"George asked us to meet him and Ellie here. I'm just complying with the mans wishes, babe."

Addison grinned. "You realize that you just called me babe?" Derek stared at her. "Without prompting?"

Derek grinned. "I try." Addison laughed and kissed him. "You didn't get enough of me three hours ago?"

"Uh-uh." Addison said, smiling against his lips. They jumped when someone banged on Addisons window.

"A room would be good." Ellie yelled through the window. "I mean, jeez." Addison laughed and got out of the car. "It's bad enough you two can't keep your hands off each other at the hospital…"

"Thanks for that, by the way." Addison said, grinning.

"Don't thank me for getting you laid, Add…that's weird."

Addison laughed. "We didn't...we didn't have sex."

"Huh…okay." Ellie said, raising her eyebrows and laughing.

"Why don't you ever believe me…?" Ellie burst in to laughter and walked away, taking George's hand as they walked up the front steps. "Sometimes I really hate her."

"Sometimes we all hate her." Derek said.

"Watch it." Ellie snapped, turning around. "You wanna be rude? I kill you." Ellie smirked and turned back around, following George in to the house.

"Is there a reason it's so dark in here?" Derek asked. George stared at him. "What?" George shook his head and flipped on the nearest light.

"Surprise!" Ellie shrieked and Addison gasped as the light in the living room came on, revealing a room full of many of their friends; a _Happy Birthday Addison and Eliot_ sign hanging above their hands.

"Look, my name is first." Addison whispered, pointing to the sign.

"And the twelve-year-old is back." Ellie snapped.

"Whore."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Are you two about finished?" George asked, glaring.

"Yeah." Ellie said, grinning. "Alright, who set this damn thing up?" Ellie asked, yelling in to the crowd. Izzie stepped out in front of everyone. "Aw geez, Iz…" Ellie hugged her sisters friend. "Thank you."

"It was her idea." Izzie said, pointing to Meredith, who was coming out of the kitchen.

Ellie stared, and then looked back at Addison, who was pulling back from Izzie after giving her a hug. "Uh…" Ellie turned to Meredith. "Really?" Meredith nodded, silent. Ellie shrieked and pulled her sister in to a hug. "The whole thing?" Ellie whispered.

Meredith nodded. "She's your friend, and you have the same birthday. I can't very well pull this off for you and not include her. That would just be rude."

Ellie smiled. "Amazing. You're amazing."

Meredith shook her head. "I'm trying."

Ellie smiled again and pulled Meredith in to another hug. "Thank you."

"Yeah. Sure."

"Thank you, Meredith." Addison said, coming up to the siblings. "This is really great."

Meredith shrugged. "You're welcome."

Ellie grinned, ecstatic. This was exactly what she had wanted. "Okay, we're not going to stand around, are we? Where's the liquor?" Meredith laughed and pointed behind her in to the kitchen as Cristina put music on.

"Watch your intake!" George yelled, his voice barely reaching Ellie's ears as the noise in the room grew louder. Ellie waved him off and walked in to the kitchen with Addison.

"This is amazing…I…" Addison shook her head in disbelief.

Ellie nodded and smiled. "She's trying."

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

Meredith sat on the front porch, a bottle of tequila hanging between her fingers. It had been almost empty when she'd grabbed it, but Meredith had already had a buzz, and it was making it worse.

"Hey." Addison came out on to the front porch and sat down next to Meredith, an almost empty bottle of vodka in her hand. "I see we're both bottle dwellers tonight."

"Mine was almost empty when I snagged it." Meredith said, trying to defend herself. Addison held up the bottle, which had barely an eighth of it left. "Okay, so it was fuller than that."

Addison laughed. "Same difference." Meredith nodded. "I wanted to thank you again for this…for tonight. I know you hate me, but…"

"I don't hate you." Meredith said, a little surprised at herself for finally admitting it. "I can't hate you. You're too damn nice. You're annoyingly kind and painfully smart and currently saving my friends life." Meredith said, reciting the exact words she had said to Derek. Addison stared at her. "I mean, you did save my friends life. And my sisters life now too. I tried to hate you, but I can't. So I pretend to hate you. It makes things easier."

"You don't have to pretend to hate me, Meredith."

Meredith nodded. "Yeah, I do, because if I tell my friends that I'm friends with the woman who is married to the man that I love…" Meredith coughed. "Loved, then they'll think that I'm crazy."

Addison sighed and took a swig of the vodka. "You could just pretend to be friends with me. They'll understand that. They do it."

Meredith shook her head. "Izzie isn't pretending to be friends with anyone. She is friends with you. And George…he's not pretending either. He wouldn't do that. As for Cristina…she isn't really friends with anyone…half the time I don't think she's even my friend." Addison laughed and Meredith took a drink of the tequila. "And Alex…after today in the elevator…I'm not sure what the hell he's doing."

Addison laughed. "That was definitely a weird conversation."

Meredith shook her head. "I've had weirder."

"So have I." Addison said. "Just…not with others around. It's mostly just me and…"

"Ellie." Meredith said, nodding. "I get that. Cristina and I have conversations no one else wants to be a part of."

Addison nodded. "Look…Ellie's your sister, Derek's your friend; Derek's my husband, Ellie's my friend…" Addison sighed. "I'd like to be your friend Meredith."

Meredith nodded. "Eventually." Addison nodded and leaned against the railing, taking a drink of the bottle. "I don't want to be rude, but…what the hell are you doing out here anyway?"

Addison laughed. "There was a drinking game going on, but I couldn't handle it anymore…I was losing."

"So you took the bottle instead?"

Addison glared. "This is like 3 shots." She said, holding up the bottle. "Had I stayed in there…I'd be on my 6th or 7th shot this round."

Meredith nodded. "What are they playing?"

"Buzz-Fuzz." Meredith raised her eyebrows. "Basically, you go around in a circle and count until someone reaches a multiple of seven. That person says buzz instead of the number, and it switches directions. If you get to a multiple of five, you have to say fuzz, but play doesn't switch directions. If someone forgets to say buzz or fuzz or switches directions at the wrong time, they have to take a shot." Addison sighed. "I suck at it. Especially because, the more times I fuck up, the more pissed I get, and the more pissed I get, the more I fuck up. Ellie's bloody perfect at it. I always lose when I play with her."

"Why is she so good?" Meredith asked.

Addison laughed. "Because Derek taught her how to play."

Meredith nodded. "Interesting. Who taught you to play?"

Addison cringed. "Mark. Stupid asshole always lost anyway…" Meredith laughed, which got Addison laughing.

"We should probably go back in." Meredith said.

Addison nodded. "You go ahead. I'm going to sit out here for a few minutes."

"Okay." Meredith smiled and stood, stumbling up the steps and in to the house. Addison sat in silence for a few minutes, and was taking another drink from the bottle when the door opened.

"Hey. Forbes." Derek came out on to the porch, calling her by her middle name like he used to do in college. "Why are you out here? And why are you out here with Meredith?"

"I couldn't sit in there anymore, Shep. I was losing really bad."

Derek laughed. "I know babe, I was watching. Was out here really better?"

"We actually had a normal conversation."

Derek nodded. "A normal, drunk conversation."

"You're funny."

Derek smiled. "I know. Come on." He said, helping her stand. "Inside."

"But Shep…"

"We're just going in to get your coat, and then we're going home. Because even though it's only 9:30, you have to be at work at 7:00 tomorrow…so you need to sleep off this lovely buzz you've built up."

Addison laughed. "Fine." They walked in to the house and Addison went to talk to Ellie while Derek got their things together. "I'm going home." Addison whispered.

"Eight." Ellie said, nodding. "Okay. You left the game."

"I was getting pissed." Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Not mad, El, drunk."

"I know." Ellie snapped. "Buzz." Ellie turned around. "Did you at least have fun?"

"Are you kidding? Yeah…I did." Addison said, genuinely serious. "Besides, I had a relatively normal conversation with your sister."

"Drunk normal." Ellie said, grinning. Addison rolled her eyes. "Okay, have a good rest of the night." Addison hugged Ellie and left with Derek, listening to the sounds of the game as they walked out the front door.

"Ellie…you were supposed to say 28." Cristina said, slurring her words together.

"What? No! Son-of-a-bitch." Derek and Addison shut the door and headed down the steps, hand-in-hand.

"Why am I carrying all of the gifts people gave you?" Derek asked as he helped Addison in to the car.

"Because I'm pissed and I probably would have dropped them."

"Or because I'm your slave and I do whatever you want me to."

"You know what, honey? If you want to see it that way…" Addison smirked. "that's fine with me."

**Okay…what did you think? Did you like it? Cuz I know I did…Mel.**


	24. Jump For My Love

**So I'm really glad that everyone liked the last one so much. Yay! Hope you like this one. – Mel.**

**Chapter Title: "Jump (For My Love)" by The Pointer Sisters**

**Half Love**

"**Jump (For My Love)"**

_Jump for my love  
Jump in and feel my touch  
Jump you want to taste my kisses  
In the night then  
Jump for my love  
Jump, I know my heart can make you happy  
Jump in, you know these arms  
Can feel you up  
Jump, you want to taste my kisses  
In the night then  
Jump for my love –  
_"_Jump (For My Love)"  
__By The Pointer Sisters_

**February 26th, 2006**

**4:00 P.M.**

"Just please, be careful."

"How long have you known me?"

"Almost twelve years."

"And how many times, in twelve years, have I attempted to kill Addison?" Derek laughed.

"Just once." Addison said, grinning and tossing her bags in the back of George's car. "We were waiting to catch the subway and she tried to push me on to the tracks."

"Whatever, whore, you slipped. I saved your life." Ellie laughed and shook her head. "Sometimes I think I should have let you fall."

"Funny." Derek snapped, shutting the trunk. "You're real funny."

Ellie grinned and turned to George, who was standing near the drivers seat. "Thanks for letting us use your car…it would have been more probable to use Addie's, but she just got that BMW, and I hate driving BMW's."

George shrugged. "It's okay with me. Addison's letting me borrow that BMW that you hate so much."

Ellie grinned. "Really?" George nodded. "Fun."

"I guess." George pulled Ellie in to a hug. "I'm going to miss you."

Ellie smiled. "I'll miss you too. But it's only two days. Besides, you're helping Derek, right?" George nodded.

"Helping Derek do what?" Addison asked, coming around the side of the car.

"Survive." Ellie said, smiling and hiding their secret very well. "I think our boys are going to miss us, Addison."

"They always do, Eliot." Addison grinned. "Ready?"

Ellie nodded. "I'm ready if you are." Addison nodded and went around to the passenger side of the car. Ellie kissed George, letting his tongue part her lips and leaning against the car. George had seriously deepened the kiss when Ellie felt a bang from the other side of the car.

"Eliot!"

Ellie laughed as George pulled away slowly. "Apparently she really was ready."

George smiled and opened the car door for Ellie. "Have a good time."

"We will." She said, stepping in to the car and pulling the door shut. She started the car and promptly rolled the window down. "Call me if you need anything."

"Phone sex is a no." Addison said, grinning. "We're sharing a room."

"That's not really what I meant." Ellie said. "Ignore her." She whispered to George, who smiled.

"Will you call when you get there?" Derek asked from the passenger window.

"Yeah." Ellie said, rolling her eyes. Her left arm was on the window ledge, and George was playing with her fingers. Addison noticed that he was paying special attention to her ring finger.

"And you'll drive safely?"

"Yes, Derek. God…why is it that every time I drive you interrogate me to death? I may be younger, but I am by no means a worse driver."

"I interrogate you more because I trust my wife as a driver."

Ellie scoffed. "Good answer, asshole."

Derek shrugged. "I try."

Addison laughed. "We should really go, El."

"Yeah, you're right." Ellie turned back to George, squeezing the hand that was playing with her fingers. "I'll call you, okay?" George nodded and leaned in to the car to kiss Ellie. He placed two soft kisses on her lips, and one on her cheek.

"Have fun." Ellie smiled and George stepped back from the car. Ellie revved the gas, causing Derek to finally break from Addison and step back. Ellie shifted the car in to reverse and pulled out of her parking spot. George and Derek stood on either side of the parking spot, George leaning against Meredith's car, Derek leaning against Addison's. Ellie shifted in to drive and sped towards the street, peeling out of the parking lot and on to the street.

"Way to reassure him that you're a safe driver." Addison said, rolling up her window.

Ellie shrugged. "Whatever. He knows not to mess. He knows I'll kill you if he pisses me off."

"Oh, you will?" Addison said, her eyebrows raised.

Ellie nodded, grinning. "Yup."

* * *

**7:30 P.M.**

"What do you think they're doing right now?"

"Probably checking in."

George slammed his head on the table. "We're pathetic."

Derek's laugh echoed in the almost empty cafeteria. "Our girls are gone, of course we're pathetic."

"I don't know what to do." George sighed. "I've spent almost every night for the last three weeks with Ellie. Now I'm going to be spending tonight with Meredith…" George groaned. "Who reminds me of Ellie. Damn it."

"At least you're not alone." Derek sighed. "It's me and the dog. My life sucks worse than yours."

"It does not. You've had almost eleven years with your wife. I've had three weeks with Ellie."

Derek nodded. "It'll be eleven years on the first." He said, smiling.

George slammed his head back down on the table. "Yeah, Derek. I know."

"Jeez, man, sorry." Derek smiled and George looked up. "What?"

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Ellie?"

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Depends…but probably."

George looked down and sighed. "I…did you know that she still refuses to have her stuff sent from New York?"

Derek stared. "Uh…yeah, I knew that."

"Even though she has a contract with Seattle Grace…she won't do it."

Derek sighed. "George, if this is the thing you didn't want me to tell Ellie…you're a little late, man. She already knows."

George managed a laugh and rolled his eyes. "When did you know you were in love with Addison?"

"The moment I laid eyes on her." Derek said, smiling. "We met on New Years Eve, we were in Times Square, and one of the guys that Mark and I were hanging out with was dating her and brought her with him. The minute I looked at her, I knew she had to be mine. We spent the whole night talking, and at midnight, instead of kissing the guy she had been dating, she kissed me. We've been together ever since."

George nodded. "When did you tell her?"

Derek shrugged. "I think it was on Valentines Day. But I knew way before then, and she knew that I knew that I was in love with her. She could read me like a book."

"It scares me that Ellie won't have her stuff sent over." George said, sighing. "It's like she doesn't want to stay here."

Derek shrugged. "I don't know man. Ellie moves at her own pace. Why is this working you up so much?"

George sighed. "I think…" George looked Derek in the eyes. "I think I'm in love with her."

* * *

"Welcome to Bellevue Spa and Resort." The stereotypical blonde behind the counter smiled. "Name please?" 

It was all Ellie could do not to die laughing. "Uh…Eliot Grey."

"Oh…okay…" The girl began typing on her keyboard and Ellie turned to Addison, who was trying to stifle laughter. Ellie crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue, causing a loud laugh to erupt from Addison's mouth and Ellie to get smacked on the arm. "Yes, we have you right here, Ms. Grey."

"Dr. Grey." Ellie said, smiling. She loved saying that.

"I'm sorry…Dr. Grey. One suite, two rooms, each with a queen sized bed."

Ellie nodded. "That's fantastic." The girl handed Ellie two keys. "Thank you."

"Uh-huh. And Jason will take your bags up for you." A young man took Ellie and Addison's bags from them and led them out of the lobby. They were just about to get on to the elevator when Addison's phone rang.

"We were going to call you when we got up to the room." Addison said, grinning.

"He's in love with her."

"Huh?" Addison's eyes popped. "Hold on." Addison stuck her foot in the elevator door. "Which room?"

"Uh…" Ellie looked down at the key. "1201. Here." Ellie handed Addison a key and Addison let the door shut.

"Say that again."

"George…he's in love with Ellie."

Addison smiled. "Really?"

"Well…he thinks he's in love with her. He doesn't know if it's too soon…"

"It's never too soon." Addison said, leaning against the wall.

"That's what I told him. I need you to do me…well, him, a favor."

"What?"

"Without telling Ellie that George is in love with her, convince her to have all of her stuff sent from New York."

"She still hasn't done that yet?"

"Nope." Derek sighed. "He's afraid that she doesn't want to stay in Seattle."

"Oh…" Addison smiled. "I'll do my best. But Ellie moves at her own pace."

"I know…Addie, he loves her."

Addison smiled. "I know, Derek."

"Does she…?"

"I don't know…I think she might though…but I'm not sure. I'll find out."

"Okay." Derek took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything, but I had to tell you."

"I'm glad you told me." Addison smiled. "I should go though. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you, Addie."

"I love you too Shep." Addison hung up the phone and hit the elevator up button. She couldn't help but stand there with a grin on her face. George loved Ellie!

* * *

**February 27th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

"George!" Izzie flew in to George's room, banging the door against the wall. "Derek Shepherd is here…you're supposed to help him with something!"

George sat up in bed, his eyes wide. "Shit." George looked over at his alarm clock and sighed. "I must have slept through the alarm."

"Well, get up. It's a good thing I was on my way out instead of already gone, or he'd still be standing there." George shuffled out of bed and down the stairs. Derek was standing by the front door, a frown on his face.

"Sorry man, I was up late. Ellie called…but she waited until Addison was asleep, so it was like 1:00…"

"Don't worry about it. Just get dressed. The moving truck from New York is going to be at Ellie's Dads place in half an hour." George nodded and shuffled back up the stairs and in to the bathroom.

"Are you moving?" Izzie asked, coming down the stairs.

"Ellie is renting her Dads old place to me until I can get a house built on my property. But I wanted to surprise Addison, so…we have to do it today and tomorrow." Derek sighed. "O'Malley!"

"I'm coming! Hold your damn horses!" Izzie laughed.

"Anyway, I certainly can't do it myself. Hence…" Derek motioned up the stairs and Izzie nodded. "Hopefully everything will get done by the time they get back."

"Well, do you want to paint it or anything?"

Derek vigorously shook his head. "No. Addison is way better at that. If I try to pick paint colors…" Derek laughed. "She'll just paint over whatever I pick. She and Ellie can do it."

Izzie nodded. "Well, I hope you get everything done."

"Thanks Izzie." Izzie nodded and left the house. "George!"

"I'm coming." George said, hurrying down the stairs. "Jesus Christ, Derek."

"So you talked to Ellie last night?" Derek asked as they exited the house, George locking up behind them.

"Yes."

"Did you tell her?"

George stared. "Did you tell Addison that you loved her over the phone?"

"No."

"There's your answer then." Derek laughed. "I'll tell her…eventually."

"Yeah, sure, eventually."

George rolled his eyes. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act like you know what I'm going to do. Because you don't, Derek."

"I was just kidding." George managed a smile and Derek shook his head. "How long was your conversation last night?"

George smiled. "Two hours."

Derek laughed. "Well it's obvious you had a good time."

"Oh, you have no idea…"

"Oh my God. No. Don't do that." George laughed and Derek leaned against the car. "Don't…ew…"

"I'm kidding." George sighed. "What are you waiting for? Didn't you want to get there before the moving van?"

Derek looked at his watch. 9:15. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

Ellie was already sitting in a chair near the window when Addison came in to the main room, showered and dressed. 

"Hey. You're already up?"

Ellie nodded. "I didn't sleep."

Addison looked worried. "At all?" Ellie shook her head. "Are you okay?"

Ellie looked down. "I've never felt this way about anyone, Add…I spent two hours on the phone with George last night…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I couldn't sleep. I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach…it was a good feeling, but…I don't know." Ellie sighed. "Something's different."

Addison sat down in the chair next to her. "Bad different?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. But I…before Mark…remember _High Fidelity_?"

Addison raised her eyebrows. "Yeah…"

"The line…John Cusack says 'Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.' Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, El…"

"I used to do that. I used to bolt. Then Mark came along, and I didn't bolt, and I got fucked. Now I'm afraid that if I don't bolt…I'll get fucked again." Addison raised her eyebrows, a sly grin on her face. "Not fucked in the good way, Add…the bad way!"

Addison giggled. "You're right. I'm sorry. Ellie...George is not Mark, and what ruined your relationship with Mark will never happen again." Addison sighed. "And since you're set on quoting John Cusack movies, how about this one: 'I think your heart grows back bigger ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you. And the universe lets your heart expand that way, cause that's the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place.' Care to guess?"

"_Must Love Dogs."_ Ellie snapped. "What's your point?"

"My point, my dear best friend, is that what happened with Mark made you stronger." Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I'm serious! You used to be afraid to get close to someone, and now…"

"I'm more afraid?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Ellie…"

"Addie…I don't want to get hurt…"

"George is not going to hurt you. Especially not in the way that Mark hurt you. I mean, really…" Addison sighed. "Why are you so worried about this anyway?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with him."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

"Jesus, you two have a lot of stuff." George said, dropping the last of the boxes on the floor in front of Derek.

"Be careful, George."

"It's labeled 'Clothes'. What the hell am I going to do, break them?"

Derek laughed. "I didn't realize what it said. Sorry."

George shrugged. "Whatever." George stared at Derek, who was sitting on the floor going through a box of pictures. "Shouldn't you be unpacking, not rifling?"

"I was just looking." Derek grinned. "Want to see something?" George nodded and Derek handed him a picture. George leaned against the wall and smiled. "That's her med school graduation." George nodded. Ellie was dressed in a short black dress, her graduation cap sitting cock-eyed on her head, a grin on her face. Addisons arm was around her and Ellie was holding her diploma. "She was so excited. She could finally start her internship…"

"She looks happy."

Derek nodded. "She was happy." George smiled and handed the picture back to Derek, who shook his head. "Keep it, man. I've got 8,000 pictures of Ellie."

George nodded. "Thanks." George set the picture down on the nearest table and smiled. "So…how are we going to go about this?"

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Unpacking?" George nodded. "Well, first I want to make sure the furniture is set up okay, and then we'll start unpacking the small stuff…although it's just going to get rearranged."

"Addison?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah. She'll rearrange everything until it's to her liking…but I want it set up. I don't want her coming home to boxes and everything a mess."

George nodded. "Okay, sure. Where do you want to start?"

Derek looked around. "Uh…probably down here, and then we'll move upstairs."

"Okay, sure." George and Derek began to move boxes when Derek's phone rang.

"Hold on." George nodded and stacked boxes outside the entrance to the living room as Derek stepped out on to the porch. "Hello lover."

"Hi baby. Guess what?"

"Uh…"

"She's in love with him too." Derek grinned and leaned against the outside of the house. "She's scared though."

"What is she afraid of?"

Addison sighed. "Getting hurt."

"She knows that it's different, right?"

"Yeah, she knows."

"Okay. Well, I'm kind of in the middle of something, but give her my love, I love you, and I'll talk to you later."

"I love you too. You can't tell George."

"My lips are sealed. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Derek hung up the phone and smiled.

"Shepherd!" George came out on to the porch. "Didn't you want this finished before your wife came back?" Derek nodded and followed George in to the house, a smile still on his face.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie and Addison came back in from hot stone massages, both women having to force themselves to walk.

"That was amazing." Ellie moaned, collapsing in the nearest chair. Addison nodded in agreement, sitting down next to her. "I don't want to move."

"I'm starving." Addison said her voice barely audible.

Ellie laughed. "Of course you are. You want room service?" Addison nodded and Ellie reached for the phone. "What do you want?"

Addison shrugged and stood slowly. "I don't care."

"I don't do I don't care!" Ellie yelled as Addison went in to her bedroom.

"Just order whatever, El. You know me…I'll eat pretty much anything, and if I wont eat it you will."

Ellie laughed. "This is true." As Ellie picked up the phone to call room service, Addison pulled her last four Thirteen Days gifts out of one of her bags. Addison gathered them together and took them out in to the main room. "And then…a bottle of the red Zinfandel, two slices of the raspberry cheesecake…and…yeah, no…that's it…thanks." Ellie hung up the phone and Addison grinned.

"What did you get?"

"An order of beef stroganoff and one of their small cheese pizzas." Ellie eyed the packages Addison was holding. "What is that?"

"My last four Thirteen Days gifts. I never opened them."

Ellie grinned. "I have mine too. Hold on." Ellie stood and walked slowly in to the other room, gathering the four packages Addison had given her on Day Thirteen. "We've never waited this long to open these." Ellie said, sitting down in the chair and setting the packages on the floor.

"I know." Addison motioned to the packages. "You go first. Do them all."

Ellie grinned. "Okay." Ellie reached down and found the square shaped package with the 10 in the corner and lifted it in to her lap. "I still maintain that it's weird that you number these."

"Whatever." Addison said, rolling her eyes. "Just open it, will ya?"

Ellie grinned and ripped off the wrapping paper. "Addie!" Ellie held a collection of John Cusack movies in her lap, from _Say Anything_ to _The Ice Harvest_. "My God."

"That's why it was so funny that you were quoting his movies this morning. It cracked me up."

Ellie grinned and opened the one labeled 11. Removing the wrapping paper revealed a circular Christmas tin. "Oooohhh…Christmas." Ellie grinned and Addison rolled her eyes. Ellie pulled the lid off of the tin and smiled. "Ha. That's freaking hilarious." Inside the tin was a _How to Survive Your Residency written by the two hottest doctors in the country_ book, and a pad of _elevator passes_. "Oh my God. I can't believe, that one, you and Derek finally wrote this stupid thing, and two, that you found elevator passes! I was so freaking pissed at you."

"I know." Addison smiled. "You didn't talk to me for a month."

"Oh, right, like you could really expect me to. You told me that I needed an elevator pass to ride the elevator up to Jim's office. You made me look like a moron!"

"You were a moron…you actually fell for it."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Ellie set the tin on the floor next to the movies and picked up the package labeled 12. Ellie ripped off the wrapping paper and revealed t-shirts with sayings written on the front. "The Edge…there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who know where it is are the ones who have gone over." Ellie laughed. "Nice."

Addison shrugged. "I try."

Ellie set the shirt down on the ground and read the next one. "You're weird. I like that." Ellie grinned. "You're freaking ridiculous." Addison shrugged and Ellie read the last t-shirt. "I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up." Ellie shook her head. "Nice, Addison."

Addison grinned. "I thought you would like that." Ellie set the t-shirt on the ground and reached for the last gift. "Wait. Let me open these first…and then you can open that."

Ellie stared. "Okay…"

"Is there a particular order to these?"

Ellie shrugged. "Not really…except the biggest one you open last."

"Okay." Addison grabbed the smallest package and took the wrapping paper off, revealing a small book that was entitled, _1000 Steps to World Domination_. "Nice."

Ellie shrugged. "You've always wanted to rule the world. I figured I could help."

Addison laughed and grabbed the next gift, ripping the wrapping paper off. "Vince Vaughn. Classic." Addison sifted through the movies, revealing everything from _The Cell_ to _Wedding Crashers_. "Good choice."

Ellie grinned. "I try my best."

Addison reached down and grabbed the third gift, a grin on her face. "We know each other too well."

"As if. You only know someone too well once they start telling you about their sex life in detail." Addison grinned and Ellie's eyes popped. "Which you will never do!" Ellie said, pointing a finger at Addison.

"Okay, okay." Addison smiled and took the wrapping paper off. "Oh, Ellie…" Addison lifted a pair of vintage earrings and a necklace out of a box, a grin on her face. "These are gorgeous."

Ellie grinned. "I thought you would like them."

Addison smiled. "Thank you." Ellie nodded and reached down for the last gift. "I want you to open that alone."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

"You'll see."

Ellie shrugged. "Okay. Then open yours alone too." Addison nodded and Ellie stood, climbing over the other gifts and heading in to her room. "Holler when the food gets here."

Addison smiled. "Will do." Ellie shut the door and sat down on the bed. She opened the wrapping paper, revealing a Vera Wang box that obviously did not hold a Vera Wang anything. Ellie took the lid off the box and saw something she had never expected. Letters. Dozens of letters. Each one with a date, starting with March 1st, Addison and Derek's 10th anniversary, and the day after Ellie and Derek found out about Addison and Mark. Ellie found an envelope smaller than the rest, labeled _EllsBells_ and dated February 12th, 2006. Ellie opened it and sighed.

_Eliot –  
__Happy 30th. I know this wasn't exactly what you were expecting on your 30th birthday, but I needed to give you these. I wrote you every day we weren't talking…I needed my best friend, and I screwed up and hurt you…you know I'm sorry, I've told you I'm sorry, but I know you're still upset with me, and I'm hoping that these will help a little. Most of them are 2 or 3 pages long…it's everything I would have told you if we were talking, from how badly everything was going with Derek to things that made me laugh and think of you. I love you tons, El…you don't have to read all of these right away, but I hope that one day you will read them…because I need you to know…it was never my intention to hurt you. Ever.  
__Addison_

It was all Ellie could do not to cry. She took a deep breath, set the box next to her on the bed and fished through her purse for her iPod. She and Addison had a play list with all the songs they both liked, and Ellie knew that she was going to need it.

* * *

Addison took a deep breath and ripped off the wrapping paper, revealing an amethyst photo album, with _Addison Shepherd & Eliot Grey: Family is about more than blood. It's about an unbreakable connection that no one else understands_ embossed on the cover. Addison opened the photo album and a white envelope fell in to her lap. 

_Addison –  
__12 years is a long time. We've established this. And even though we've both done stupid things that piss each other off, somehow, we're still friends. Sometimes even I don't understand it. You are and always will be my best friend. There's no doubt to that. I don't know what I would do without you, even if we can't stand each other sometimes. You've helped me get through a lot Add…and I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for that. I put this together so that we can always remember the good stuff…there's blank pages in the back for more once we have more good memories…and then, glued in the back, is the envelope that contains the six-page forgiveness letter that I wrote. Don't read it yet…read it later…but I wanted you to have it. I wanted you to know what it took. I'll always love you, because you are always going to be my best friend, but it took a lot for me to forgive you. But I don't think I would be able to survive if I hadn't. I love you, Add.  
__Eliot_

Addison took a deep, shaky breath and began to flip through the photo album. There were pictures from Addison and Derek's wedding, Ellie's college graduation, Ellie's med-school graduation…and every birthday and holiday they had spent together in the last twelve years. Addison flipped to the back of the album and ran her fingers over the envelope. She almost pulled it out, but then shut the album and shook her head. Later. She would read it later.

* * *

"El? Room service is…" Addison walked in to Ellie's room and saw her best friend sitting on the bed, the letters spread out around her, earphones in her ears and tears streaming down her face. "Oh, Ellie…" Addison whispered, leaning against the door. Two of the envelopes were open, and the rest were sitting in front of Ellie, waiting to be read. Ellie was deep in to the third letter when she choked out a sob. Addison wasn't going to disturb her, but her friend instinct took over and she made her way to the bedside, stacking the already read letters and putting them on the bedside table. "Ellie…?" Ellie looked up, pain in her eyes. It was obvious that she didn't want to talk to Addison. "The room service is here, babe, if you want…" 

"I'm really not hungry, Add…maybe later."

Addison sighed and nodded. "Do you need anything?" Ellie shook her head and Addison left the room, tears breaking on her own face.

* * *

**February 28th, 2006**

**1:30 A.M.**

Ellie made her way slowly in to the main room, her face sticky with tears and her mouth dry from the amount of crying she had done. Addison wasn't in the main room, but the bottle of wine was sitting open, and there was still cold beef stroganoff and cheese pizza sitting on the table. One piece of the raspberry cheesecake was left, completely untouched. Ellie took a gulp of the wine, straight from the bottle, and then grabbed a water bottle from the mini-fridge. After chugging that, Ellie took a couple of bites of cold pizza and a small bite of the cheesecake before quietly going in to Addison's room. Addison was asleep on top of the comforter, still fully dressed, the photo album lying next to her. Ellie made her way over to the bed and took the photo album off the bed, flipping it open to the back. The envelope was still glued inside the cover, completely untouched.

"El…?" Ellie jumped as Addison's voice reached her ears, and she turned around.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" Addison shook her head. "Good."

"Are you okay?" Ellie shrugged. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry." Ellie sighed. "I didn't finish them. I only got like 20 letters in. My vision blurred." Ellie laughed. "It was actually kind of pathetic." Addison cracked a smile. "You didn't read it."

"Read what?" Ellie opened the photo album to the back cover. "Oh. That."

"I'm a little surprised. With me locked in my room, I figured…"

Addison shook her head. "I'm not ready to read it yet. I'm pretty sure I'm going to want to kill myself so…"

Ellie shook her head. "I'm not that horrible, Addie."

"That's not what I meant."

"It's not that bad. I mean, yeah, it's long, but…it's not that bad." Ellie sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I kind of blew you off."

"Rightfully so." Addison sighed. "And I'm fine."

Ellie smiled. "Okay." Addison sat up and hugged Ellie, letting Ellie bury her head in Addisons shoulder. Ellie took a shaky breath and Addison sighed.

"Are we going to be okay?"

Ellie sat back and smiled. "We're going to be just fine."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"What time are you guys coming back?" George asked.

Ellie laughed. "We'll be back around 8:00 or so. We're going to head in to Portland for a few hours, and then drive back."

"Portland?"

"Oregon. It's like 45 minutes from here." Ellie tossed the envelopes in to the box, the 20 she had finished wrapped together with a rubber band. "I miss you."

"I miss you." George said. "I can't wait to see you."

Ellie grinned. "I can't wait to have sex with you. God I missed that."

"Blunt. I like it." Ellie laughed. "I should go. Derek and I are finishing up some stuff at the house, so…"

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and finished packing her things before dragging her bags out in to the main room.

"Are you ready to go?" Addison asked, dropping her bags near the door.

Ellie shook her head. "Not really. I don't want to go back. I want to lock myself in that room and never come out."

"In that room?" Addison asked, gesturing towards the door Ellie had just come out of. Ellie nodded. "By yourself?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. With George." Addison laughed. "What? As if you wouldn't do the same with Derek?"

"Oh no, I would…but that's a pretty small room."

Ellie grinned. "Small confined spaces are nothing. Last week the elevator broke down, and…"

"Finished. Done. Conversation over."

Ellie laughed. "Fine." There was a knock on the door and Ellie opened it. "Hi Jason."

"Are you two ladies ready?" Ellie looked at Addison, who nodded. "Okay then. Let me take your bags."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

"I'm nervous. I shouldn't be nervous." Derek said, pacing the front porch. "Why am I nervous?"

George stared. "Like I could really answer that for you."

Derek glared. "Rhetorical George…it was rhetorical."

George laughed. "Okay. Jeez. Take a deep breath." Derek took a shaky breath as George's car pulled in to the driveway. Ellie had barely parked it and turned it off before she had flown out of the driver's seat and in to George's arms. "How was it?"

Ellie grinned. "It was good. Boy…do I have stuff to tell you."

George laughed. "I'm sure."

"Eliot. You didn't answer my question. Where the hell are we?" Ellie didn't even look at Addison, but winked at Derek and pulled George to the corner of the porch and in to a kiss.

"Addison, come here." Addison walked up the steps and in to Derek's arms, relishing in the feel of his body wrapped around hers.

"Derek…who's house is this?"

Derek smiled, took Addison's hand, and led her past Ellie and George and inside. "This, right now, is our house, Addie." Addison cocked one eyebrow and grinned. "Welcome Home."

**Okay. That's it. I hope you liked it. Please tell me you liked it! – Mel.**


	25. Beloved

**w00t! You guys liked the last chapter. Woo-hoo! Yay-ness! I was going to get really upset about this certain spoiler, but then I went on TI…and y'all already addressed it. So never mind. Lol.**

**Anyway, here's Chapter 25 of Half Love!**

**Chapter Title: "Beloved" by Working Title**

**Half Love**

"**Beloved"**

_Please come whisper all you know  
About this thing called love  
And feel it as you speak  
Draw you to me  
Note the swell that passion brings  
And feel it in the air  
Come step off from your ledge to soar with me  
__I could try to find out  
Why these old wings won't fly  
Until I close my eyes  
Count the lines  
And find I'm soaring high  
Oh to look up and find...  
__Beloved –  
_"_Beloved"  
__By Working Title_

**March 1st, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

Ellie walked down the hall with George, trying to juggle a phone and charts, his hand on her lower back.

"Jason, I can't come back to New York right now…"

"Ellie, Jim specifically requested you."

"You told me that." Ellie stopped in the middle of the hallway and shifted the charts in to a different position, cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear. "But I have a job here. My contract started today, Jase."

"It's not forever. It's temporary. Jim could talk to Richard…it would just be a few weeks. The person we have heading up Neurosurgery is a moron, and Jim needs someone he can trust until he can find someone else."

"Why me? Why not Derek?"

"I don't know, El. Jim wanted you. I don't know why he didn't want Derek."

"Jason…I can't. I'm sorry. Tell Jim I'm sorry."

"Okay…call me later?"

"Sure." Ellie stopped again and let the phone fall on to the stack of charts so that she could shut it.

"What was that?"

Ellie sighed. "My old boss wants me to come to New York for a couple of weeks."

"I'm sure Richard would let you."

Ellie grinned. "It's not that Richard wouldn't let me, it's that I don't want to go. Mark is in New York…bad memories exist in that place." Ellie looked down. "I'd want to take you with me, but I know Richard wouldn't let me…"

George smiled. "I'd find a way."

Ellie shook her head as they reached the front desk, where the four other interns were standing. "I'm not going to New York." She whispered, smiling. Ellie set the stack of charts on the desk and grabbed the top file, the one that told her where her interns were supposed to go. "Okay…Karev and Yang on rounds, O'Malley with Burke, Grey in the pit, and Stevens, you're with Shepherd…" Ellie looked up from the paperwork in her hands. "Well that doesn't work…"

"It's his day off." George said.

"No." Ellie swallowed. "Well, yeah, but…I meant Addison."

George laughed. "She's not coming in today."

Ellie nodded. "No kidding. Uh…Stevens, you're with me."

"Why won't the she-Shepherd be here today?" Cristina asked.

Ellie grinned. "It's their anniversary."

"Oh." Cristina's eyes widened. "Oh!"

Ellie laughed. "Yeah. Alright, go, disperse." Ellie leaned against the counter. "I'm not even sure if Add knows that she's supposed to be here."

Izzie shrugged as the other four walked away. "Your best bet is to ask Webber."

Ellie laughed. "I don't actually care that much." Izzie nodded. "Let's go. We've got four possible surgeries, and it's only 7 am."

Izzie grinned. "Fun."

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

Addison awoke in an unfamiliar bed, a little off-kilter. She was so used to waking up in the trailer that waking up in a house was unusual for her. Addison smiled. A house. Derek was renting Ellie's Dads place until they could build a place on the land that the trailer was on. Addison rolled towards Derek, finding only empty space. Addison sighed and sat up. What a way to wake up on your anniversary. Her negative attitude was shattered when Derek came in to the room, clad in sweats and a white t-shirt that was clinging to his skin.

"You're awake." He said, smiling. "I was hoping you wouldn't wake up until I got back." Derek crawled in to bed with Addison, threading their fingers together. "I didn't want you to wake up alone."

"Where did you go?" Addison asked.

"I took Doc for a walk…well, run…"

"You went running?" Addison raised her eyebrows. "Really?" Derek nodded. "That's hot."

Derek laughed. "Thanks Paris. You know, I try." Derek leaned towards a grinning Addison and cupped her face in his hands. "Happy Anniversary."

Addison smiled wider. "Happy Anniversary." She said, her statement getting cut off by Derek enveloping her lips in a deep kiss. Derek leaned her back on to the bed, placing one hand on either side of her. "Don't we have to go to work?"

Derek shrugged. "Technically, you do. But Richard will understand if you don't show up until later." Derek grinned devilishly. "Or don't show up at all."

Addison laughed. "If Richard gets upset…"

Derek grinned. "It's my fault." Addison smiled as Derek's lips made their way down her neck. It was going to be a very good day.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Ellie dropped a large stack of charts on the passenger seat of George's car. Webber had told her to send an intern, but the only intern not in a surgery or with a patient was Meredith, and Ellie certainly wasn't going to send Meredith to the Shepherds to get charts signed…not on a regular day, and certainly not on their anniversary.

"Ellie!" George came walking out of the hospital at a fast pace, a grin on his face. "Wait."

Ellie smiled. "How was the surgery?" The end of Ellie's sentence was cut off by George's mouth on hers. Ellie's back slammed against the car and George's hands slid underneath her shirt, resting on her lower back. "Wow. Hi."

George smirked. "Hi. I haven't seen you since this morning."

Ellie nodded. "Uh-huh." Ellie took a deep breath. "The surgery went well, I take it?"

George nodded. "Very well." George placed a solitary kiss on Ellie's neck. "How long will you be gone?"

Ellie shrugged. "Not very long. I just need them to sign these freaking charts, and then I'll be back to perform two surgeries…" Ellie sighed. "And then I get to move in to the trailer." Ellie grinned. "Yippee."

"Meredith said you could come back…"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I…living there is good, but Mere and I rip each other to pieces when we're together that much. Besides…how are you and I going to be amazingly awesome in bed with Izzie and Meredith around?"

George blushed and then grinned. "I guess that's true."

"You guess?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "You guess?" Ellie kissed George, dipping her tongue between his lips and then leaning back.

"You stopped." He whined, placing his hands on the vehicle.

"You guessed." She snapped, ducking underneath his arm and making her way to the other side of the car.

"Wait, wait…" George grabbed her arm before she made it all the way to the driver's seat. "No more guessing. Obviously us being amazingly awesome in bed would be a little hard with Izzie and Meredith around."

Ellie laughed. "I have to go. I need to take these to the Shepherds, and…well, you know, I have 8000 things to do. But I'll be back."

George nodded. "Dinner tonight?"

Ellie grinned. "Absolutely." George leaned in and kissed her, running his fingers in to her hair. Ellie stepped back first, trying to catch her breath. "If we keep this up, we're going to end up making out in the backseat instead of me getting those damn charts signed."

George laughed. "And the problem would be…?"

Ellie smirked. "Funny. I'll be back soon." Ellie placed a soft kiss on his lips and climbed in to the driver's seat before anything else could happen.

* * *

Addison was curled up on the couch in the living room, flipping through a magazine, when the doorbell rang. Addison set the magazine down on the coffee table and opened the front door, a grin on her face. 

"Hi _Sorella_."

"Happy Anniversary _Soeur_. How has it been so far?"

Addison grinned. "I thought it meant we were too close when we started sharing details of our sex-lives."

Ellie cringed. "Ew. Ew." Ellie took a deep breath. "Where is the sex-god himself?"

Addison laughed. "In the kitchen."

"Good. I need you two to sign these." Ellie said, motioning to the charts in her arms.

"I was wondering what those were for. Come on in." Ellie walked in to the house and grinned. "You okay?"

"It feels so good to be back here."

Addison nodded. "Thanks for renting us the house, El. I'm a little surprised that you didn't just move in."

Ellie shrugged, following Addison in to the kitchen. "You hate that freaking trailer, and Derek is letting me live there until you guys build the house, and then I'll move in here. Besides, the trailer is enough space for Madison and I, where as you and Derek will soon kill each other."

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Madison?"

Ellie grinned. "That's one of the charts I need you to sign. Izzie said that she should be okay to go home…but you need to sign the chart."

Addison sighed. "Ellie, you know I can't do that without seeing her."

Ellie pouted her lower lip. "Addie…please?"

Addison shook her head. "I can't. Look, tomorrow, okay? Besides, it'll give you tonight to get settled in the trailer. Besides, she's not even a month old yet."

"Neurologically she's fine though, Add…"

"Tomorrow. I promise."

Ellie sighed. "Fine." The two women walked in to the kitchen, where Derek was standing in front of the coffee pot. "Having trouble?"

Derek turned around, smiling. "No. I just haven't used this coffee pot since I left New York. I forgot how ridiculously complicated it is."

Ellie laughed. "It's not that complicated, Derek. You've used it when you're drunk."

Derek glared. "Obviously I'm a little challenged this morning, okay?"

Ellie shrugged. "Whatever. I need you to sign some of these so that I can perform a couple of surgeries."

"I'm not signing these so that someone can perform surgeries, am I?" Addison asked, looking worried.

"No. There are a couple of patients that need to be released, and Richard won't let me schedule any surgeries without your signature. But no surgeries will be performed until you're back." Addison nodded and began to read through the charts that Ellie had handed her.

"How's everything going with George?" Derek asked, reading through the top chart, signing it and handing it back to Ellie.

"She told you?"

Derek laughed. "Did you think that she wouldn't?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I just figured that she'd wait until she was home for a few days, not the night she got home."

Derek raised one eyebrow. "She called me from the hotel, Ellie."

Ellie turned to Addison. "Addie!"

"Thanks Derek." Addison snapped. Derek shrugged and went to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Ellie, relax. It's not like he told George. Besides I did the same thing when you told me that you thought you were in love with Mark."

Ellie cringed. "Don't."

"Sorry…look, it's not like George knows, honey. Derek wouldn't tell him."

Derek shook his head. "She's right. I wouldn't tell him."

Ellie sighed. "Okay." Ellie glanced at her watch. "Shit. You guys need to finish signing these. I've got to get back to the hospital." Addison shoved the stack at Ellie, setting Madison's chart on top, and Derek skimmed through the four sitting in front of him, reading the most important things, and then signed off, grinning. "What?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know. For the first time in a long time…everything seems to be going smoothly."

"You're going to jinx it." Ellie snapped, smiling.

"I'm serious. You love George, Addie and I are doing so much better…"

"Mark has a girlfriend…" Addisons jaw dropped and Ellie nodded. "I talked to Jason this morning."

"Oh my God. Who?"

Ellie laughed. "I bet you can guess."

Derek shook his head. "No way."

Ellie nodded. "Believe it."

"Annabelle?" Ellie nodded and Addison gaped. "The woman who spent the last four years trying to get him to leave you?"

Ellie nodded. "Jason said that she would like to send her thanks to you…"

Addison rolled her eyes. "My God." Ellie laughed and gathered the charts. "What else did Jason say?"

Ellie shrugged, first seriously contemplating telling Addison and Derek about the offer to go to New York, and then deciding against it. "Not much. They still haven't found a good Head of Neurosurgery, I guess the guy they have right now is kind of a moron."

"Who is it?" Derek asked as he and Addison followed Ellie as she headed towards the front door.

Ellie smiled. "Evan Mitchell."

Derek laughed. "The chief's son? Oh man…that sucks."

"Yep." Derek opened the door for Ellie and she stepped out on to the porch. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye." Addison said, leaning against Derek. "Have a good day."

Ellie raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Yeah. Sure. You guys too." Ellie headed down the steps to the driveway, dumping the charts on the passenger seat and speeding out of the driveway.

"When do you think she'll tell him?" Addison asked, leaning against the door once Derek had shut it.

Derek shrugged. "I don't know. What I do know is that I wanted to take you out to the property that the trailer is on to show you something…are you ready?"

Addison smiled. "If you pour me a cup of coffee to go, then yes."

Derek kissed Addison lightly on the lips and grinned. "Done." Addison slid on her jacket, looking around the house. She couldn't imagine a better place to be on their anniversary.

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

Ellie flew down the hall, just a few minutes after a surgery finished, trying to find George, holding her phone to her ear.

"Jim, I already told Jason to tell you no."

"Ellie, I need you."

"Jim…I have a job here. I just started my contract…"

"I can talk to Richard…I'm sure he would understand."

"Jim…I can't."

"Why do you keep repeating my name?"

Ellie laughed. "I don't know. Maybe I think it will help you understand…I'm not coming to New York. Not unless something drastic happens."

"Hmmm…."

"Don't try anything!" Ellie snapped, leaning against the wall outside a patient's room, where George was with Meredith. "I'm not coming."

The man on the other side, the chief of surgery in New York, sighed. "Fine. I just don't get it…there's more money, you'll be head of neurosurgery…"

"Conversation over, Jim. I'm not coming." Ellie smiled as George and Meredith came out of the room. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye." Ellie hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" George asked, taking her hand as they headed towards the elevator.

"Jim Mitchell, the chief in New York."

"They really want you there, don't they?" George asked as they got on to the elevator and Meredith pressed the button to get them to the floor that the cafeteria was on.

"Yeah."

"What do they want?" Meredith asked, leaning against the elevator wall.

"They want me to be a temporary Head of Neurosurgery, until they can find one better than the one that they have."

"Is it more money?" Meredith asked as they got off of the elevator and headed to the cafeteria.

"Yeah, but I'm not going…I don't know why everyone is trying to get me to go."

"It could be a good thing, Ellie." George said. Ellie sighed and pulled him aside. "What?"

"We barely lasted two days without seeing each other. We were on the phone all the time; we were all over each other once I got back…" George laughed. "The point is that it'll be like a month…I don't want to do that." Ellie looked down. "As easy as it would be to walk away from everything else…I don't want to walk away from you."

"Everything else?" George asked, raising his eyebrows. "You mean the fact that Addison and Meredith still barely get along, and that you and Addison still have an issue every other day?"

Ellie sighed. "Yes. Now, can we drop this, please?"

George nodded and kissed the back of her hand as they walked in to the cafeteria.

* * *

Addison leaned back on the picnic blanket that Derek had spread out on the grass and smiled. "I love it." 

"You've said that 100 times, Addie." Derek said, playing with her hand while he was looking up at the sky.

"But I really do like it. It's perfect."

"Good. We can meet with the contractor next week to start planning the house."

Addison smiled. "You know, Derek, I feel bad; I didn't really get you anything for our anniversary."

Derek squeezed her hand. "Don't worry about it, Addie."

"We always exchange some sort of gift and I…" Derek silenced her by placing a kiss on her lips and leaning over her. "Actually…I have an idea."

"Yeah?" Addison nodded, rolling Derek on to his back and straddling him. "What?"

"How about we christen the place where our new home is going to be?"

Derek stared in to her eyes. "Seriously?" Addison nodded and Derek grinned. "Yeah, okay."

Addison leaned down and kissed him on the lips, smiling in to the kiss. "Happy Anniversary Derek."

Derek smiled. "Happy Anniversary."

* * *

**5:00 P.M.**

"George, I have to do this by myself." Ellie said, looking towards the nursing home.

"Are you sure?"

Ellie nodded. "I've been putting this off since I got here…and I need to go in and see her." Ellie sighed. "Even though she may not remember me."

George squeezed Ellie's hand. "Okay. I'll be out here…I have some stuff to do, Burke gave me some paperwork, and then we'll go to dinner and move all of your stuff in to the trailer…"

Ellie smiled. "Okay." Ellie kissed George softly and then opened the car door and made her way in to the nursing home. After taking a deep breath outside the front door, Ellie walked inside and mentally followed Meredith's directions to where their mother would be.

"Can I help you?" Ellie took a deep breath and smiled at the lady sitting behind the front desk. "Are you here to see someone?"

Ellie nodded. "I'm here to see my mother. My sister should have put my name on the list…I'm here to see Ellis Grey. I'm Eliot…or Ellie; I don't know what Meredith said…"

"She said Ellie." The woman said, smiling. "Your mother is with someone right now, but I don't think he'd mind if you joined them…it's Dr. Grey, right?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Who's she with?"

"She was with me." Richard Webber came out in to the hallway, a smile on his face. "But I have to go home."

Ellie nodded. "Do you think she'll remember me?"

Richard shrugged. "She remembers me, and we met after you…so I'm assuming she will."

Ellie smiled. "Okay. Thanks, Richard."

Richard nodded. "Sure. Have a good night, Eliot."

"You too." Ellie walked in to the large room and Ellis sitting by the window. Ellie walked towards her and took a deep breath. "Hi."

Ellis turned around. "Hello. Do I know you?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I'm your…" Ellie sat down. "I'm Ellie."

"Ellie?" Ellie nodded, looking Ellis in the eye. "What's that short for?"

"Eliot."

Ellis smiled. "That's my daughter's name."

"Really?" Ellie asked, smiling.

"Yeah. She's eight. I haven't seen her in a while." Ellis looked distraught. "Do you think she's okay?"

Ellie nodded. "I bet she's fine. If she's your daughter, she should be a strong girl."

Ellis smiled. "Yeah. Her father is a good man. It's too bad she and Meredith haven't met yet…I think they would like each other."

Ellie smiled. "I'm sure they would."

Ellis nodded. "So, Eliot, what brings you here?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "Richard sent me. He thought it would be a good idea if we met."

"Richard is a good man." Ellis said, smiling. "Are you a surgeon?"

"Yeah. I'm going in to neurosurgery."

"That's a good field. You seem like you would make a great surgeon."

Ellie grinned. "Thank you, Dr. Grey."

"Ellis." Ellis said, smiling at Ellie. "Please, call me Ellis."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"I don't know what it is about him that makes me so…" Ellie looked down. "I can't describe it."

Ellis smiled. "I know what you mean. There's a man that makes me feel that way…it's a hard feeling to describe." Ellie tried hard not to cringe. She knew that Ellis was talking about Richard. "Have you told him yet?"

"Told him what?"

"That you love him?" Ellie looked down. "It's very obvious…the way that you talk about him…you light up."

Ellie grinned. "No, I haven't told him yet. I don't know how."

"You should really just flat out say it. Just walk up to him and tell him."

Ellie laughed. "I don't think it's that easy, Ellis."

"Sure it is. The way you talk about him makes me think that he loves you…" Ellie shrugged. "Really."

"I don't know…it's a scary thing. The last relationship I had ended very badly…"

"How so?"

Ellie sighed. "My best friend cheated on her husband with my boyfriend."

Ellis' eyes widened. "Wow. Is she still your best friend?"

"Yeah." Ellis cocked one eyebrow. "She's all I've got. My father died when I was 16, my mother isn't around…I don't have anyone but Addison…"

"Well, at least you're loyal." Ellie shrugged. "Why isn't your mother around?"

Ellie sighed. "She used to be, but then I moved to New York. Now it's hard for her…"

"Well, if I were your mother, I'd be around you as much as I possibly could. You seem like a wonderful young woman."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you, Ellis." Ellis nodded as the woman from the front desk came up to the two women, who looked rather a lot a like.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but visiting hours are over." The woman smiled at Ellie. "I'm afraid you'll have to leave."

Ellie nodded. "Okay, sure. It was nice to meet you, Ellis."

"You too, Eliot. Come back, will you?"

Ellie nodded. "Of course I will, Ellis. I'll be back as soon as I can." Ellie left the nursing home, a smile on her face.

"Hey." George said, grinning as she got in to the car. "How did it go?"

Ellie smiled. "Fabulous. It was just fabulous."

George nodded. "Good. You ready to move in to the trailer."

"Absolutely." Ellie said, nodding. "Let's go."

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

Ellie rolled towards George, watching his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. She had tried to tell him earlier, but she couldn't do it. She was too afraid of getting hurt. But he was asleep. So she could tell him now, right?

"George?" Ellie whispered, watching him. He moved just slightly, but his eyes stayed closed and his breathing remained steady. "George, I love you." She whispered, curling up close to him, placing her head on his chest. Ellie closed her eyes, snuggling in to him, unaware that George was a very good actor.

**Okay, so I know I totally stole the "telling him while he's asleep" thing from _Grey's_ but I really wanted to do it that way. So sue me.**

**I hope you guys liked it! BTW, I love Rissa, Kayli, Kendel and Allie! You guys are AWESOME! – Mel.**


	26. Nothing Frequency

**So I loved _Grey's_ last night. Actually…I really loved the preview. Yay for Addek love!**

**Hope y'all like this!**

**Chapter Title: "Nothing Frequency" by Autopilot Off**

**Half Love**

"**Nothing Frequency"**

_There's static in the atmosphere  
__A constant interference that is killing me  
__I'm losing the connection here  
__And all the frequencies are down  
__And this silence seems so loud  
__That's why  
__This system shorted out  
__Programmed restraint before the shutting down  
__This system shorted our memory fails during the crashing down. –  
_"_Nothing Frequency"  
__By Autopilot Off_

**March 16th, 2006**

**12:00 A.M.**

Addison paced the kitchen, tired of arguing with Derek.

"You shouldn't have called me in there like that."

"The baby has spina bifida, Derek. You're the head of neurosurgery…why wouldn't I call you in there?"

"I can't perform that kind of a surgery on a baby that is still 3 months from being due." Addison opened her mouth but Derek shook his head. "And I can't believe you told the patient that if you performed a c-section that I could perform the surgery. The baby would be 3 months premature, Addison! That's so dangerous."

"Derek…"

"Addison, you were completely out of line."

"I was not out of line!" Addison put her hands on her hips. "She was my patient, Derek; I'm allowed to tell her whatever I want!"

"You yelled at Karev just yesterday for not having any bedside manners, and now you're…"

"The way I treated my patient has nothing to do with bedside manners, Derek! She wanted to know her options."

"Performing that kind of a procedure on a fetus, or a 3-month premature child is NOT an option, Addison!"

"You've done it before!"

"Not at this early of a stage. The woman is just beginning her third trimester…it's not ethical, it's not safe…"

"I'm the obstetrician here, Derek."

"And I'm the neurologist, Addison. I would know better than you whether or not a spinal surgery on a fetus is safe."

"You would not! I would most certainly know…"

"Look, I don't know why we're arguing about this…"

"Because you questioned me in front of Stevens and Grey. You can't do that, Derek. They already don't like me, and you questioning the way I'm dealing with my patient doesn't help."

"Stevens and Grey like you just fine."

"Not the point!"

"Addison…"

"I need you to back me on things like that."

"I'm not going to back you on something that I think is wrong." Addison let out a loud sigh and turned on her heel, leaving the kitchen, and heading up the stairs to their bedroom. "Addison!"

"Don't. If you're not going to back me up, I don't want to talk to you."

"Quit being irrational." Derek said, following her up the stairs.

"I'm not being irrational." Addison said, stopping in the doorway of their bedroom. "You're my husband…you're supposed to back me up!"

"Yeah, well you're my wife, and you're not supposed to sleep with my best friend!" Addison stared at him and then stepped in to their bedroom and slammed the door in his face. "Addison, wait…" Derek slammed his head in to his hands. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" He whispered, smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Addie…" Derek reached for the doorknob, trying to turn it, remembering all too late that it was the one bedroom in the house that locked. "Add…" There was no response from his wife, and there was no other way in to the bedroom. Derek took a deep breath and headed down the steps and out the front door. If Addison wasn't going to talk to him, there was no reason for him to be there.

* * *

**12:30 A.M.**

Ellie rocked Madison back and forth in her arms, trying to get the little girl to sleep. George was at home, Ellie had insisted that he stay at his place, because neither of them had gotten very much sleep since Ellie had brought Madison home two weeks before, and at least one of them needed to be alert at work. Ellie sat down on the edge of the bed and hugged Madison to her chest. The little girl finally stopped crying and Ellie let out a held in breath. Ellie had just laid down on the bed; Madison curled up in her arms, when someone tapped on the trailer door. Ellie placed Madison in the center of the bed and walked to the front door.

"Derek?" It was like de ja vu, and Ellie was almost shocked. "What happened?"

"We got in a fight, and she slammed the door in my face." Derek visibly shivered and Ellie opened the door wider for him to come in. "I didn't know where else to go."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You really shouldn't have gone anywhere, Derek. You should have stayed there."

"She slammed the door in my face, Ellie."

"Addison used to do that all the time, and you never left before."

"She was really mad this time."

Ellie laughed and shook her head. "What happened?" Derek sighed and Ellie went in to the bedroom, lying down next to her new child.

"We got in an argument because I questioned the way she was handling a patient…" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "In front of Stevens and Meredith."

"Smooth move, Derek."

Derek sighed. "I know. It was a bad idea, but she wanted me to perform a spinal surgery on a fetus, or she was going to perform a c-section and have me perform the surgery on a 3-month premature child."

"Derek, you're done surgeries like that before."

Derek shook his head. "Not at that stage. The earliest I've done is a fetus 1 month from being due, or a 6 week premature child."

"Addison knows what she's doing."

"So do I!"

Ellie sighed. "Look, Derek, I don't know what to tell you. I'd be upset if you questioned me too, especially in front of interns, and especially if you were my husband." Ellie sat up. "You should really go home."

Derek sighed. "She wont talk to me. I don't really want to be in the same house as someone that's not going to talk to me."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You and Addison have gotten in arguments before, Derek. What's different?" Derek shrugged. "Now you have someone to run to?"

"No…"

"Well what are you doing here?"

"I needed my best friend."

"Addison's your best friend too."

"I needed you."

Ellie sighed. "This is one of the worst ideas you've ever had. It's going to turn out very badly."

"Why?" Derek asked, sitting down on the edge of what was once his bed. Ellie stared at him, an 'as if you don't know' look on her face. "You mean the 'you and I are in love' thing?" Ellie nodded. "That's ridiculous."

Ellie shook her head. "You need to go home."

"Addison and I both need time to cool off." Derek sighed. "Can't I just stay here?"

Ellie looked down and sighed. "Fine. But I'm not staying here with you. I'm going to George's."

"Ellie…"

Ellie stood, gathering clothes for both her and the baby and tossing them in to an overnight bag. "I'm not risking anything." Ellie picked up the phone and cradled it between her shoulder and her ear as she tossed some of her things from the bathroom in to the bag.

"Hello?"

"I didn't wake you up, did I?"

George laughed. "No. I was actually just going to call you to see how you and Madison were doing."

"We're fine. But Derek and Addison got in to an argument, and now he's here…and I don't want to stay here tonight…can I come over?"

"Absolutely. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just…" Ellie glanced at Derek, who was looking at her with a pained expression on his face. "I'll explain it to you when I get there."

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone and zipped the overnight bag shut.

"Ellie…"

"Derek, I can't do this. I'm not going to risk my friendship with Addison because you stayed here…she'll assume something happened, you know she will."

Derek sighed. "I don't think…"

"Look, I'm leaving. My suggestion is that you go home, but if you're really not going to…" Ellie pulled one of the extra keys to the trailer out of her purse. "Lock up in the morning." Derek took the key from her and Ellie swung her bag and purse over one shoulder, picking up Madison and cradling her to her chest. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." Ellie left the trailer, and Derek followed her out on to the porch, watching her put Madison in to the car-seat in the back of the car she had just recently purchased and then drive away. It was then that his phone rang. The caller ID blinked _Addison_ but Derek hit reject and shoved his phone back in to his pocket, walking back in to the trailer.

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie trudged down the hall, tired after driving all the way from the trailer to Meredith's at one in the morning, and then having to get up two hours later when Madison woke up. Ellie was keeping her eye out for Derek and Addison because she hadn't seen either of them, and she didn't really want to.

"Eliot!" Ellie cringed as Addisons voice rang out from down the hall. "Wait."

Ellie turned around and forced a smile. "Hey Addison."

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Ellie swallowed. "Sure." Ellie took a deep breath. She did not want to get involved in this. "Look, Addie..." Ellie shut the supply closet door and leaned against it. "I really don't want to get in the middle of this."

"I just wanted to know if you'd seen Derek."

"Not this morning."

"This morning?"

Ellie sighed. "He showed up at the trailer at 12:30 last night."

Addison raised her eyebrows. "He did?" Ellie nodded. "Why?"

"Because you slammed the bedroom door in his face, and he needed someone to talk to."

"Why you?"

Ellie looked taken aback. "Why not?" Addison shrugged. "Who else was he supposed to go to? Meredith?"

Addison cringed. "He could have talked to me instead of walking away."  
Ellie stared at her. "You slammed. the door. in his face. That generally means that the conversation is over."

"Did he stay the whole night?"

"Yeah."

"In that little tiny trailer?"

"Uh...yeah..." Addison scoffed and shook her head. "_What_?"

"You two really are close aren't you?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh. My. God."

"He always runs to you, doesn't he?"

"I'm sorry; maybe you didn't hear me the first time. Would you rather he go to Meredith?"

"What happened?"

Ellie stared. "Nothing. What makes you think...?"

"I don't know, El, what would make me think that something happened?"

Ellie rolled her eyes and laughed. "Okay, first, you're crazy. And second, I didn't stay..."

"I'm not crazy; it's a perfectly legitimate thought."

Ellie sighed. "I didn't stay at..."

"Not to mention," Addisons voice elevated. "it wouldn't surprise me at all if you took advantage..."

"Oh my God." Ellie opened the door. "Conversation over. Find me when your head is screwed on properly."

"Don't walk away from me." Addison said, following Ellie in to the hallway. "We're not done."

"No, we're finished." Ellie snapped. "I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to blame me for things that would never happen in the first place."

"You're overreacting."

"I'm overreacting?" Ellie snapped as Derek came around the corner with George. "Jesus Christ, Addison!"

"It could happen."

"Do you want me to sleep with Derek?" Derek's eyes popped. "Would that help justify what you did?"

"Jesus, Ellie, no."

"Well then stop. bringing. it up. It's over. I was 18 for Gods sake. And I didn't know he was your fiancé!"

"Do you know what they're talking about?" George asked. Derek shook his head, silent.

"It wouldn't surprise me."

"What?"

"If you slept with him. Or tried. You're just the kind of person who would try..."

"No." Ellie snapped. "No, I'm not. And you know why I'm not?" Addison shrugged. "Because I'm not interested in Derek, I would never hurt my best friend, and I wouldn't cheat on the man that I love, which is certainly more than I can say for you!" Ellie spun on her heel and headed down the nearest stairwell, leaving Addison standing in the middle of the hallway, a little shocked. George walked past Addison slowly, following Ellie down the stairwell at a slow enough pace for her to cool off a little before he got to her. Derek stood near the wall watching Addison, who watched George head down the steps and then hung her head. Derek wasn't sure what to say.

"I didn't know you were there." She said her voice low.

"Would it have stopped you if you had?" Addison looked up, the pain in her eyes as evident as the pain in his voice. "The fact that you don't trust the two of us together surprises me, considering we weren't the ones that fucked up in the first place."

"Derek..."

He shook his head. "I needed a friend. And she yelled at me. She yelled at me for not staying and working it out with you. And then she left. She took Madison and left." Derek sighed. "You didn't let her talk long enough for her to tell you that did you?"

Addison shook her head. "No."

"Addison..." Derek took a step towards his wife. "She's your best friend. She would never hurt you. The mere fact that she's still your best friend after what happened proves that. What makes it so hard for you to trust her?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know."

Derek sighed. "Well, you may want to figure it out." Derek hugged her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You and I still need to talk as well."

"I know." Addison sighed. "I'm really sorry, Derek."

"I'm sorry too." He said, smiling weakly as she stepped back. "And we'll be fine. You and I are going to be just fine."

Addison smiled. "Promise?"

"I promise." Derek said, smiling.

"I'm sorry Derek."

Derek shook his head. "I love you. And love means never having to say you're sorry." Tears began to stream down Addison's cheeks and Derek pulled her in to his arms. "I love you so much. Do you remember?"

Addison looked up. "Remember what?"

Derek smiled. "If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?"

Addison's breath hitched. "Forever." She whispered. Derek kissed her softly, neither one caring that they were standing in the middle of the surgical ward.

* * *

Ellie leaned against the front desk, taking deep breaths. 

"El…?" George came and stood next to her, taking her hand in his.

"I knew this would happen. I told him to go home, I told him that this would happen…and he didn't listen to me." Ellie slammed her fist on the counter, scaring the nurse sitting behind the front desk. George mouthed an apology and the nurse left, leaving the two of them alone.

"Ellie…Addison was upset…"

"Addison's always upset. That's always everyone's excuse. She was lonely, so she slept with Mark; she missed Derek, so she left New York; she was upset, so she accused me of trying to sleep with her husband…she never takes credit for anything!" Ellie sighed. "Everything is always everyone else's fault."

"Ellie…"

Ellie pulled her hand free of George's grip and picked up the nearest phone. "I can't do this."

"Ellie, what are you doing?"

Ellie ignored him as the other line picked up. "Bellevue Hospital."

"Hello, this is Eliot Grey. Can I speak to Jim Mitchell, please?"

"Just one moment, Dr. Grey."

"Ellie…" Ellie waved George off and turned away.

"Hello?"

"Jim, it's Ellie."

"Hello. Can I help you with something?"

"Do you still need a temporary head of Neurosurgery?"

"Yes…"

"If you can talk Richard in to it, I'll do it." George cringed.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"This is fantastic, Ellie. Let me give him a call, and I'll call you back."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone and took a deep breath.

"El…" Ellie looked over at George, not registering that Addison and Derek had come down the stairs. "Are you sure about this?"

"It's not you I need to get away from, you know that, right?" George nodded and Ellie gripped his hands. "You understand that?"

"Yeah, Ellie. But are you sure running away from this is the best way to handle it?"

Ellie looked down; still unaware that Addison and Derek were standing on the stairs. "I'm not running, I'm just taking a deep breath. If only you understood…"

George lifted her chin, looking in to her grey eyes. "I understand. I just wish I could come with you." Ellie smiled. "Since I can't, I need to you to promise me something."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"Promise me you'll come back." Ellie's face dropped and she looked down. "El…"

"George, I don't know…"

"Okay, fine. I don't need to be in Seattle. Promise me you'll either come back or find me a job in New York."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

George took a deep breath. "Because…I…I love you." Ellie let out a small gasp. "I can't lose you, as cliché as it is, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I…"

Ellie put a finger to George's lips and smiled. "I love you too." George grinned against her finger, and behind him, Ellie finally noticed Addison and Derek standing on the steps, smiling. "And I promise…if I don't come back, I'll find you a job in New York." George moved in her finger from his lips and kissed her, pulling her close to him. "Let's get out of here." She whispered. George smiled and took her hand, leading her down the hall. Ellie glanced back, making eye contact with Derek and smiling. Ellie briefly glanced at Addison before rounding the corner with George.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"You really want to do this?"

Ellie sighed and leaned back in the chair in Richard's office. "I think it's a good opportunity, plus there are some relationships I need to either close up or patch up back in New York…and Addison and I can't go two days without arguing."

Richard laughed. "I argue with my best friend all the time."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "My mother is your best friend, and you argue with her because you're trying to tell her about a past event that she doesn't think happened yet. It's not quite the same."

Richard nodded. "Okay, so I guess that's true. Well, Jim said that it would just be for a few weeks, and it would be a good experience, especially if I make Derek chief. I'm going to need someone to be the Head of Neurology."

Ellie smiled. "Sure."

"It sounds okay to me." Richard smiled. "I think our staff will miss you though."

Ellie laughed. "Oh I'm sure."

"Jim wants you out there tomorrow. Can you do that?"

Ellie nodded. "I don't see why not."

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off starting at one o'clock, so that you can fly out tonight."

Ellie smiled. "Thanks, Richard."

He shrugged. "You're my best friend's daughter, and you'll be one of my stars if you stick with the path you're on. Anything I can do…"

Ellie grinned. "Can I take George?"

Richard laughed. "Anything but that. I can't send one of my interns with you…"

Ellie laughed. "I just thought I'd try." Ellie stood, smoothing the skirt she was wearing. "I have some patients to check on before I leave." Ellie took a deep breath. "Thanks for letting me do this Richard." He nodded again and Ellie left his office, running directly in to Addison.

"Hi."

Ellie forced a smile. "Hi."

"Look, I know you're mad at me…"

"I don't really have time to talk to you. I have to check on some of my patients and turn them over to my interns…"

"Turn them over?" Addison asked, raising her eyebrows. Ellie nodded and began to walk away. "Why?"

Ellie was halfway down the hall before she turned around. "I'm temporarily going back to New York. Someone needs to take care of them while I'm gone." Addison nodded and Ellie headed back down the hall. Addison let out a held in breath. At least she said 'temporarily'.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

George held on to Madison as Ellie checked her bags and took got her ticket. Even though it was impossible, George looked in to Madison's eyes and saw Ellie, sparkling grey eyes and everything. The only thing that made George remember that Madison wasn't actually Ellie's was the fact that Madison's head was covered in fiery red hair. George let Madison wrap her tiny fist around his fore finger as she stared up at him.

"Hey." Ellie whispered, walking up to them. "Ready?"

"I'm not the one flying to New York." George said, clutching Madison to his chest as they headed to the security check. "Are you ready?"

Ellie shrugged. "I guess." Ellie shifted Madison's diaper bag and her purse on her shoulder and reached her arms out for Madison. "I wish I could have convinced Richard to let you come with me."

"I wish I could have convinced you to let Derek come. I know you don't want to talk to Addison right now, but he wanted to see you off."

Ellie looked down. "I know. I said goodbye to him."

"You're going to miss his birthday."

Ellie sighed. "I know. I'll call him."

George put one arm on Ellie's shoulder and placed his other hand on Madison's head. "I'm going to miss you."

Ellie smiled. "I'm going to miss you too. I'll call you every chance I get."

George laughed. "We sound like teenagers. Love-sick teenagers."

Ellie grinned. "Yeah, and your point?" George laughed and kissed her, running his hands through her hair as their tongues fought. Ellie finally pulled back, needed to catch her breath. "I need to go, I need to catch my flight."

George nodded. "Okay. Call me when you get settled."

"I will." Ellie placed a soft kiss on his lips and headed through the security check. George stood still, watching her walk towards her gate, until he couldn't see her anymore. Even then it took every ounce of his strength to leave the airport. They'd been seeing each other just over a month, and he knew that he wanted to spend as little time away from her as possible. He had to find a way to get Richard to let him go to New York.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Addison raced down the hallway, looking for George. She knew Ellie was already gone, but she needed to talk to George. She needed him to understand…

"George!" Addison spotted him down the hall, talking to Meredith, a grim look on his face. George turned and managed a smile. Meredith gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and left, leaving them alone to talk. "Did you see her off?"

George nodded. "Yeah."

"Is she okay?"

George scoffed. "What do you think?"'

"George…"

George shook his head. "You know this is your fault, right? Everything was fine, Meredith was attempting to be friends with you, which is what Ellie wanted, and then you go and start an argument with her like every other day! She doesn't want to argue with you, Addison, and you know, when it's something stupid like you think she's going to sleep with Derek, I don't see how you can't expect her to want to leave. Who wants to hang around someone who accuses them of stupid shit like that?"

"George…"

"No. Don't. I don't want to talk to you. I love her. You know that. And I want her here…but she doesn't want to be here, because she can't handle being around you."

"Don't you think she's overreacting a little?" Addison asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"No, I don't. Because she's right. You never take credit for anything. You were lonely, so you slept with Mark; you missed Derek so you left Ellie alone in New York, and now you're upset with Derek; so you take it out on her. When is anything ever going to be your fault?" Addison gaped. "What? No words this time?"

"I don't…of course all of that's my fault!"

"Maybe you should tell people that once in a while. Ever think about that?" George headed down the hallway, fuming, unable to even think about having a decent conversation with Addison. Addison watched him go, and barely made it in to the linen closet before breaking down. She just couldn't quit screwing up.

* * *

**New York City**

**March 17th, 2006 **

**(Still March 16th in Seattle)**

**2:00 A.M. **

**(11:00 P.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie stepped off the plane, clutching a sleeping child to her chest. She'd called Jason just before getting off the plane, and she was not looking forward to who he had said was picking her up. Ellie made her way through the airport and down to baggage claim, holding Madison tightly.

"Ellie!" Ellie smiled and made her way over to her old friend.

"Hi."

"Who's this?" Her friend asked, running their hand over Madison's back.

"Madison. I adopted her." Ellie smiled and her friend smiled back.

"Good. That's good. How have you been?"

Ellie shrugged. "Fine, I guess." The two made their way in to baggage claim, Ellie a little surprised at how easy it was to be comfortable around her old friend.

"Which bags are yours?"

Ellie laughed, shifting Madison in to a more comfortable position for both of them and turning on her phone. "You know which bags are mine."

Her friend smiled. "That I do." He grabbed one bag and set it near Ellie's feet. "I'm glad you're back, El. Do you think we could talk at some point while you're here? I screwed up a lot, and…"

Ellie nodded, silencing him. "We'll talk, Mark. Of course we'll talk."

**Eh? What do you think? I certainly hope you like it. That would make me v.v. happy. Rissa, thanks for your help…I love the rest of you too! – Mel.**


	27. Calling You

**Glad y'all liked the last chapter! Hope you guys like this one too!**

**BTW…there is an entire section in here that I know all of my buddies from TI will love. Trust me.**

**Chapter Title: "Calling You" by Blue October**

**Half Love**

"**Calling You"**

_There's something that I cant quite explain  
I'm so in love with you  
you'll never take that away  
and if I said a hundred times before  
expect a thousand more  
you never take that away  
well expect me to be  
calling you to see  
if you're ok when I'm not around  
asking if you love me  
I love the way you make it sound  
calling you to see  
do I try too hard to make you smile  
to make a smile  
well I will keep calling you to see  
if you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
if you're dreamin are you dreamin of me  
I cant believe  
you actually picked...me –  
_"_Calling You"  
__By Blue October_

**March 20th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

**(10:00 A.M. in New York)**

Derek opened his eyes slowly as the shrill ring of the phone sounded down stairs. Addison was out cold, her legs wrapped between his, but he managed to stand without waking her. It was on his way down the hall that he realized what day it was. March 20th. His 39th birthday. Derek made his way in to the kitchen just as the answering machine picked up, so he rubbed his eyes and waited for the person on the other end to start talking.

"Happy Birthday." Ellie's voice made him smile and he lunged for the phone. "I know it's early, but…"

"Eliot." Derek's grin was obvious even in his voice. "It's so good to hear from you."

"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

Derek sighed. "We miss you. Richard has put Bailey back with the interns, and as good as she is, they miss you. You were nicer to them."

Ellie managed a laugh. "They'll manage for a little longer."

"So you are coming back?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah. Probably."

"Addison's dying without you."

"I don't want to talk about Addison."

"Ellie, don't you think you're overreacting a little?"

"I'm entitled to overreact, Derek. She accused me of trying to sleep with you. I get to overreact."

Derek sighed and leaned against the counter. "Okay. So how's New York?"

"Fine. I actually really love being Head of Neurosurgery." Derek cringed, glad she couldn't see him. He didn't want her to like being in New York. "You hate that I said that, don't you?"

Derek laughed. "Yeah." Derek saw Addison coming down the stairs and he took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask a favor of you."

"Okay…"

"Since it's my birthday, will you talk to Addison? Just for five minutes?"

"Okay."

"It doesn't have to be a meaningful conversation, but…wait, did you say okay?"

"Just give her the phone Derek." Derek smiled and shoved the phone at Addison as she walked in to the room.

"What…?" Addison stared at the phone and Derek rolled his eyes.

"Take it. It's for you." Addison reluctantly took the phone from him. "I have to pee anyway."

Addison laughed and then lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "Hi."

"Ellie!" Addison smiled. "It's so good to hear from you."

"Well, I called to wish Derek a Happy Birthday, and I figured I could talk to you too."

Addison swallowed. "Look, about what happened…"

"I don't want to talk about what happened, Addison. Isn't there something else we can talk about?" Ellie sighed. "What are you and Derek doing for his birthday?"

"Well, we couldn't get the day off because we've taken a lot of time off recently, so he just wants to go out to dinner…we're not doing anything exciting. Have you talked to George?"

"I talk to George every day." Ellie said, sighing. "I hear the two of you aren't speaking."

Addison cleared her throat. "Yeah, not really." Addison leaned against the wall. "Did he tell you why?"

"What do you think?"

"Why did you walk away?"

"Why did you walk away?" Addison coughed. "You missed Derek, and you used Richard's request as an excuse to go after him, did you not?"

"Okay, yeah, but what do you miss?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "I miss my best friend." Addison didn't know what to say. "I have to go. Someone's at the door. I'll talk to you later."

"Ellie…"

"Bye." Ellie hung up on the other end and Addison stood in the kitchen, speechless, the phone still attached to her ear.

"Addie? Are you alright?"

"What's wrong with me, Derek?"

Derek looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "What?"

"I can't do anything right."

Derek laughed. "Don't you think that's stretching it a little Addie?" Derek took the phone from her and squeezed her hand. "You were upset…" Addison cringed. "What?"

"Nothing. Let's drop it, okay?" Derek stared at her. "I'm fine."

"Okay…" Derek leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Nothing is wrong with you."

Addison smiled. "Thank you." She touched his chin, moving his head so that their eyes locked. "Happy Birthday, Derek." Addison grinned. "You know, the shower upstairs is a lot bigger than the one in the trailer, and we haven't christened it yet…"

Derek's eyes widened. "You, my dear, are a genius."

* * *

"Hi!" Savvy grinned widely as Ellie opened the door of the apartment she had never given her lease up on. "Where's this beautiful baby you have?"

Ellie laughed. "Asleep in my bedroom." Savvy headed towards the back bedroom, Ellie following close behind. Mark had shown up with Savvy, and positioned himself on the couch while the two women went in to the back.

"Ellie, she's gorgeous." Ellie smiled and slowly lifted Madison from the bassinette she had purchased her first night in New York and handed the sleeping baby to Savvy. "How old?"

"A month and ten days." Savvy raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, her birthday is February 10th."

"Right in the middle of The Thirteen Days. Boy, she is going to have a fun childhood."

Ellie laughed. "Thanks for watching her, Sav. I just…I hate that daycare…the one I've been sending her to in Seattle is fine, but I can't seem to find a good one here, and I don't really want to leave her in a mediocre one overnight."

"It's okay, El. I need the practice anyway. Our birth mother is due in a few weeks."

Ellie grinned. "Savvy, that's fantastic." Savvy nodded and Ellie glanced at her watch. "I have to go. Call if you need anything, okay?" Savvy nodded and Ellie placed a soft kiss on Madison's forehead before leaving the room.

"You ready?" Mark asked, standing as Ellie came in to the main room. Ellie nodded and grabbed the duffel bag that was sitting next to the door. "How long is your shift?"

"24 hours." Ellie said, shutting the door behind her and locking it.

"Oh…I was hoping we could have dinner tonight…" Mark said, his eyes hitting the floor.

"Well, I'll talk to Jim, but if he doesn't want me to leave, then you'll just have to come to the hospital for dinner." Mark wrinkled his nose and Ellie laughed. "I know the food sucks, but I don't know if I'm going to have any other time."

Mark nodded. "Okay." Ellie climbed in to the passenger seat of his car and Mark took a deep breath. "Can I ask you a couple of questions now?" He asked, climbing in to the driver's seat and starting the ignition.

"Sure."

"When I was in Seattle, you hated me…what changed your mind?"

Ellie laughed. "Nothing. I still hate you, I just choose not to show it."

Mark laughed. "Okay. One more?"

"Sure."

"What made you come to New York?"

Ellie sighed. "I'm not ready to talk to you about that."

"Why not?"

"I want to patch up our friendship, Mark, but…I'm not ready to discuss my problems with you yet."

"So you and Addison aren't doing to well?" Ellie stared at him. "If it were anything else, you would tell me about it."

Ellie sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

Mark nodded. "Okay. Subject dropped." Ellie turned to look out the window her mind wandering to George. If only he was with her.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

**(2:00 P.M. in New York)**

George knocked lightly on the Chiefs door, holding his breath. He knew what Webber was going to say, but he had to try.

"Come on in, O'Malley. Shut the door." George nodded and shut the door behind him as he walked in to Richard's office. "Have a seat." George sat down in front of the chief's desk, finally taking a deep breath. "I just got off the phone with your girlfriend a few minutes ago."

George perked up. "Yeah? How is she?"

"She asked if you could come to New York for a few days." George nodded. "I told her no." George nodded again, hanging his head. "If you can give me one reason why I should change my mind, I'll let you go."

George took a deep breath, trying to find the right reason. He had a list of reasons. "I'm afraid if I don't go, even if just for one or two days, she wont come back to Seattle." Richard nodded. "And I'm dying without her. So is Addison."

"Now, I know you haven't spoken to Addison since Ellie left. How would you know?"

"She called Meredith 'Ellie' this morning and didn't even bother to correct herself. She wont look Meredith in the eye."

"That's not out of the ordinary, O'Malley."

"Have you not seen Meredith and Ellie together? It's hard for me to look at Meredith."

Richard sighed. "You have to work until 6:00 tonight, but I'll give you the 21st through the 23rd off. I want you back here at 7:00 A.M. on the 24th."

George smiled widely. "Seriously?"

Richard nodded. "I'll give you her address so that you can surprise her." He said, scratching something on a piece of paper. "I don't know what her work shift is, but she works at Bellevue, so…"

"Thank you so much, Dr. Webber." George took the piece of paper from him and stood. "Thank you."

"I expect to see you here until 6:00, O'Malley." George nodded, leaving his office with a grin on his face.

"George." Addison came down the hallway, and, for the first time in four days, George actually stopped. "Can I just talk to you for a second?"

George turned around. "Yeah, sure."

"I know you're upset with me…and I'm sorry. If I could leave I would, I'd go after her…"

"Don't worry about it. Dr. Webber is giving me two days off…I leave for New York tonight." Addison smiled. "That said, I actually will need a ride to the airport…"

Addison nodded. "I can take you…unless you wanted Derek to…"

"No, it's fine. I get off at six…do you remember where my house is?" Addison nodded. "I want to be to the airport by 7."

"Okay. I can be there at six thirty."

George nodded. "That would be great, Addison." George took a deep breath. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

Addison shrugged. "It's not important. We can talk about it later."

"Okay." George turned and headed down the hall. Addison smiled. George going to New York was going to be a very good thing.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

**(7:00 P.M. in New York)**

Ellie shuffled down the hall after her fourth surgery that day. Yeah, she loved being Head of Neurology and being able to boss people around, but she wasn't used to that many surgeries in one day.

"Ellie!" Mark came walking swiftly down the hall, a grin on his face. "Ready for dinner?"

"I can't leave, Mark. And I'm dead tired. I just want to talk to George…"

Mark nodded. "So call him. And we'll order Chinese."

"To the hospital?"

"We used to do it every time that I would come and visit you here…"

Ellie shook her head. "No, Mark. Not me…Addison."

"What?" Mark raised his eyebrows. "I thought…"

Ellie shook her head again. "If you ordered Chinese, it was with Addison." Mark looked down. "It doesn't matter. If you've done it before, do it again. I'll meet you in the on call room."

"Okay." Mark walked away, his head low, and Ellie picked up the nearest phone.

"Seattle Grace."

"This is Eliot Grey. Can I speak to George O'Malley please?"

"Absolutely, Dr. Grey. Just hold on a sec."

"Thanks." Ellie twirled the cord around her finger and leaned against the front desk.

"Hello?"

"Hi George."

"Ellie." George let out a sigh of relief. "It's amazing to hear your voice."

Ellie laughed. "It's barely been 24 hours since you last heard it…"

"I miss seeing you everyday."

Ellie's breath hitched. "I miss you too. So much."

"Are you at work?"

"Yeah. I work a 24-hour shift."

"Who's taking care of Madison?"

"Savvy is."

"Oh, well that's good." George coughed. "So…do you have surgeries later?"

"No…not yet. I'm supposed to have dinner with Mark…"

"Mark? Really?"

"Yeah." Ellie sighed. "He asked, so…"

"Are you going to be okay?" George asked, taping his fingers on the counter.

"Yeah, I think so. Are you okay with me having dinner with him?"

"Are you still in love with him?"

"No." Ellie said, confidently.

"Then no. I have to go, Derek's got me on a surgery…I'll call you later, though, okay?"

Ellie sighed. "Okay."

"Hey. I love you."

Ellie smiled. She loved hearing that. "I love you too."

"I'll call you later."

"Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and headed to the on-call room to meet up with Mark.

* * *

Ellie stared at Mark. "I can't believe you just said that." 

"Well, it's true. You were better than Addison."

"I so don't need to know that." Ellie said, shaking her head. "Wait…why?"

Mark sighed. "Because I loved you." Ellie looked down. "I still love you…" Ellie opened her mouth. "I know. You're in love with George. I'm not trying to get you back. I know you wont come back to me. I've accepted that."

"And moved on." Ellie added. Mark raised his eyebrows. "Annabelle?"

Mark laughed. "Annabelle was a fuck-buddy."

"Mark!" Ellie snapped, throwing a napkin at him.

"What?"

"Don't tell me that!"

Mark laughed. "Sorry. But she was. I'm not interested in Annabelle in that way."

"Does she know that?"

Mark shrugged. "Who knows?"

"You're such a tool." Ellie said, shaking her head and putting a piece of orange chicken in her mouth. "You used to be so nice. What the hell happened?"

"You left me."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You slept with my best friend."

"Who is still your best friend. I don't get that, by the way."

"Addison is my family. What she did…what the two of you did…it will forever be somewhat of a burden on our friendship, but I refuse to give up on her."

"But you'll give up on me?"

Ellie sighed, leaning against the wall. "You've yet to prove that I shouldn't."

Mark cringed. "Can I do anything?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't decided yet."

"Do you think we can ever be friends?"

Ellie shrugged. "Maybe." Ellie stood, tossing her chopsticks in to the nearest garbage can. "Maybe eventually." Ellie brushed crumbs off her pants and turned to go, but was stopped by Marks hand on her arm. Mark pushed her up against the wall and kissed her, hard, trying to use his tongue to separate her lips. Ellie pushed him away and flew out of the on-call room, not another word coming out of her mouth.

"Ellie!" Mark raced after her, but was stopped half way down the hall by Jason and another resident named Michelle.

"Don't." Jason said, putting one hand on Marks chest. "Whatever you did…you've done enough already. She's got someone else. Just leave her alone."

"I still love her, Jason. I'm not going to stop until she realizes…"

"You ever touch her again, I'll kill you I swear." Jason snapped, finally taking his hand off Marks chest. "You've hurt her enough." Mark rolled his eyes and turned around, heading back in to the on-call room to clean up the Chinese food.

"That was some threat." Michelle said, leaning against the wall.

"It wasn't a threat." Jason said, clearing his throat. "I hate him…that was a promise."

* * *

**6:30 P.M.**

**(9:30 P.M. in New York)**

George raced down the steps, and out the front door, tossing his bag in the back of Addisons BMW as he slid in to the front seat.

"Excited?" She asked, grinning.

"Just get me to the damn airport." Addison laughed and sped away from the house. "She had dinner with Mark tonight."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I hope it went okay."

"You let her do that?"

"I trust her." George snapped, looking straight ahead.

"Okay, ouch. I deserved that. I trust her too, you know…"

"Yeah? You've got a funny way of showing it."

"Was she nervous?" Addison asked, changing the subject.

"She sounded like she was. But I don't know. Sometimes you don't really know with Ellie."

"That's true." Addison said, taking the on ramp on to the freeway. "I'm sure it was fine."

George nodded. "I hope so." The two sat in silence the rest of the way to the airport, neither one sure of what to say, both knowing that anything could cause an argument. As they pulled in to the airport, George finally spoke again. "Do you think she wants to stay in New York?"

"I don't know." Addison said, putting the car in park. "I really don't know." George nodded and grabbed his bag from the back seat, getting out of the car. "George?" He turned around, crouching under the door. "Try to bring her back. Please."

George nodded. "I'll do my best." Addison managed a smile and watched George walk in to the airport before driving away. If he couldn't do it, Addison didn't know if anyone would be able to.

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

**(11:00 P.M. in New York)**

"You know, I feel bad. Your birthday isn't as big of a deal as mine." Addison said, walking in to The Pink Door with Derek.

"It's okay, Add. You know that I never really made a big deal out of my birthday."

Addison smiled as the maitre'd seated them. "Well, I didn't get you anything fancy, but you'll like it, I can guarantee that." Derek raised his eyebrows. They sat down in a rounded booth and Derek grinned like a little kid.

"What is it?" He asked.

Addison laughed. "There are two parts. Part One…one word…commando."

Derek's eyes widened. "You?" Addison nodded and Derek ducked his head under the table. "In a dress?" Addison laughed. "Jesus Add…"

Addison grinned. "Part Two…I stopped taking birth control." Derek stared. "Remember how I can have kids, but we thought I couldn't?" Derek nodded. "I stopped taking the birth control, so now us getting pregnant could actually happen."

Derek grinned. "Are you ready for kids?"

Addison shrugged. "Seeing Ellie with Madison makes me want a little kid. One of my own…one of ours. With our fabulous hair genes."

Derek laughed. "A fabulous hair baby. I like it. An FHB."

"Do not abbreviate our future children, Derek."

Derek laughed. "Are we really talking about how fabulous the hair on our kids is going to be?"

"Yes." Addison said, managing to keep a straight face. "I've always wanted an FHB."

"You said not to abbreviate!"

"Yeah, well, now I like the sound of it."

Derek laughed. "Want to get out of here?"

"Aren't you hungry?"

Derek cocked one eyebrow. "Not for dinner."

Addison shook her head. "No. We're eating. I'm starving. Like seriously starving."

"You're always starving. We'll order room service."

"Since when does room service come to our house?"

Derek laughed. "I meant take-out. I have no idea why I said room service."

"Me neither. But we're eating here. You took me out for a nice dinner, so now I'm taking you out for one."

"And ruining it by telling me what you're not wearing right away."

Addison raised her eyebrows as the waiter came over. "Gives you something to focus on."

Derek scoffed. "Oh, you have no idea."

"My name is Luke, and I'll be your waiter this evening…hey, I remember you two. You've been in here before."

Addison nodded. "That we have."

"Where's the other half of your party?"

"New York." Addison said, smiling. "We're celebrating another birthday though."

Luke raised his eyebrows. "Really? Well Happy Birthday." Luke said, looking at Derek.

"What makes you think it's me?" Derek asked. Luke stared, confused. "We're celebrating the birthday of our FHB's."

"Your FH…what?"

Addison shook her head. "Don't ask. A Manhattan and a double scotch, single malt, please."

"Sure thing." Luke left, still confused and Addison stared at Derek.

"Are you crazy?"

Derek shook his head. "Nope." He grinned. "Just hungry."

* * *

**March 21st, 2006**

**5:00 A.M.**

**(2:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie paced the hall in front of the on-call room, trying to decide whether or not she wanted to go in and talk to Mark. She would leave the door open, of course, but…she felt bad. The man didn't even work at Bellevue, he had his own practice, and he'd spent all night sitting in the on-call room, waiting for her. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing. Ellie mentally cursed. Now she was quoting Jack Johnson. Damn Addison for getting her interested in his music. Ellie continued to pace, unaware that down the hall, something else was happening.

"I'm looking for Eliot Grey." George said, shifting his duffel bag on his shoulder.

"Does she know that you're coming?" The young nurse asked, eyeing George up and down.

"No. I'm her boyfriend, I'm here to surprise her…"

"Jason." The nurse stood up as the resident George had heard Ellie talk about came up to the desk. "This man says that he's dating Dr. Grey…"

"Are you George?" George nodded. "Oh, she'll be so glad to see you. She had a rather nasty confrontation with Mark Sloan earlier, and she's been a little off ever since."

"How nasty?" George asked, clenching his fist.

"He kissed her." George grimaced. "She was really upset. She hasn't really talked to anyone all night." George nodded. "I heard her mention to someone that she wanted to see you, but that's all she's really said."

"Do you know where she is?" Jason nodded and pointed down the hall. George almost gasped when he saw Ellie pacing in front of a door, her face red; obviously upset. "Thanks." Jason nodded and George made his way down the hall just in time to see Mark come out of the on-call room.

"Were you ever going to come in and talk to me?"

"I hadn't decided yet. I don't really want to talk to you. I told you that we were done, that I'm in love with George, and you didn't listen…you made a move on me anyway."

"George is all the way in Seattle. He'll never know."

"I'm not Addison, Mark. I'm not going to cheat on the man that I love. Besides, I would know, and I…I could never do that."

Mark looked down. "Are you sure I can't change your mind?"

"You need to leave me alone, Mark."

"Ellie…"

"I believe she told you to leave her alone." George snapped, walking up to the two of them. Both of them turned, Ellie delighted.

"Who are you?" Mark snapped.

Ellie gasped with joy and threw her arms around his neck. "George!" George held Ellie tight, burying his nose in her hair. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. So much." The couple held each other, neither noticing that Mark had finally walked away, defeated.

'**Kay. That's it. Reviews totally make my day.**

**Hey. TI Crew. I win, do I not?**

**Mel.**


	28. Bang Bang Boom

**Oh those FHB's. How I love them. And really want Addek to actually have some. I mean, come on!**

**So, y'all really liked the last chapter, huh? Well, good. Welcome to the chapter of squee. Lol.**

**Chapter Title: "Bang Bang Boom" by The Moffatts**

**Half Love**

"**Bang Bang Boom"**

_And my blood starts pumping  
and my heart goes jumping  
every time she says I have to go now  
but it really don't matter  
for worse or for better  
she will always be my number one  
when she goes...  
do do do do...  
my heart goes bang bang boom  
do do do do...  
when she walks into the room  
do do do do...  
my heart goes bang bang boom –  
_"_Bang Bang Boom"  
__By The Moffatts_

**March 21st, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

**(10:00 A.M. in New York)**

Derek woke to Addison's hands running up and down his body. A smile crept over his face but he remained in his sleeping position, knowing that it would aggravate her to no end.

"Derek…" Addison whispered in his ear, her hand resting just above his butt on his lower back. "Derek…" Derek smiled but didn't turn towards Addison. "Derek!" Addison smacked his arm and Derek burst in to held in laughter. "Damn you." Derek continued laughing, rolling over on to his other side to face her. "Sometimes I really hate you."

Derek shrugged. "Yeah, well, what's new?" Addison sighed and crossed her arms over her bare chest, turning away from him. "Oh, Addie, come on…" Addison shook her head and Derek sat up, placing his hands low on her waist and planting soft kisses on her shoulders. "Addie…" Addison let out a low giggle as Derek squeezed her waist and flipped her on to her back. "You cannot hold out as long as I can."

"This is true." Addison said, grinning as Derek straddled her.

"Are you up to making FHB's?"

Addison laughed. "Are you?"

Derek scoffed. "As if you even have to ask." Addison raised her eyebrows and Derek pressed his lips against hers, separating her lips with his tongue and causing a low moan to come out of both of them. "What time do we have to be in?"

"8:00." Addison breathed as Derek trailed kisses down her chest.

"Oh good. That's very good." Derek ran his hands through Addison's hair and as soon as he placed a kiss on her lower waist, Addison burst in to laughter. "Tickles?"

"Yeah." She hissed, pulling his head up near hers and attacking his lips.

"Wow." He breathed. "You really don't like my lips at that place on your waist."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I just prefer your lips here." She said, pointing to her own lips. "If you don't mind."

"Me? Mind?" Derek shook his head. "Never." Derek kissed her hard, pressing his whole body in to her. As his hands ran down her body, neither person cared that they were obviously going to be very late for work.

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

**(12:00 P.M. in New York)**

George leaned against the bathroom door as Ellie turned on the shower. "Are you sure Savvy and Weiss don't mind?"

"Honey, they offered to take Madison for a few more hours. If they minded, they wouldn't have offered." Ellie shed her scrubs, standing across from him in only her underwear. "I'm sorry, the fact that you haven't seen me in four days made me think you'd want to shed your clothes and have sex with me. Was I wrong?"

George looked down, realizing that he was still fully clothed. "Wrong? No. I'm just a little slow on the uptake."

Ellie laughed. "Obviously." George shed his jeans and t-shirt, and by the time he looked up from taking his boxers off, Ellie was in the shower. "Are you coming or not?" She asked, poking her head around the corner. George nodded and joined her in the shower, brushing her wet hair out of her face as he got in. Ellie tipped her head back, letting the water run through her hair, and George placed his hands on her waist, placing kisses on her neck and upper chest. Ellie pulled her head out of the water and George placed a soft kiss on her lips, hugging her to him. George lifted Ellie in to his arms, turning around and backing her in to the wall. Ellie wrapped her legs around his waist and slipped her tongue in his mouth letting out a moan. "God I missed you." She whispered, gripping the wall.

George kissed her. "Oh, you have no idea…"

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

**(2:00 P.M. in New York)**

"So, I need you to get an MRI and then get the results to me ASAP." Addison said. Meredith nodded. "Have you, uh…have you heard from George?"

Meredith laughed and shook her head. "No. We might not hear from him for a while. There's going to be a lot of 'I missed you' sex going on."

Addison laughed. "That's very true." Addison began looking through the chart she was holding, and was about to point something out to Meredith when someone touched her waist. Derek placed a kiss on the back of Addisons head and slipped something in to her pocket, then continued walking down the hall with Preston. Addison turned and watched him walk away before reaching in to her pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper.

_On-call room. Twenty minutes._

Addison smiled and put the piece of paper back in her pocket before turning back to Meredith.

"Do I want to know what that was?" Meredith asked, leaning against the door jam.

"Nope." Addison said, very matter-of-factly. "You want to get that MRI for me."

Meredith nodded. "Sure thing." Meredith left but Addison stayed where she was, trying to make herself concentrate for another twenty minutes. It was going to be very difficult.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Izzie Stevens came running down the hall, a chart in her hand. "I need you to take a look at this." Addison looked up, a smile on her face. "Good day?"

Addison laughed. "You have no idea. What is it?" She asked, motioning to the chart.

"There's a mother down in the ER with a two-year-old…I know you don't do pediatrics, but…I think the little boy needs surgery."

"What kind of surgery?"

"Well, if the MRI comes back correctly, he's got a brain tumor…"

Addison nodded, her mind flashing images of Derek. "Okay. Uh…page me when you get the MRI results and I'll take a look at it."

Izzie nodded. "Okay." Izzie headed back down the hall and Addison set her chart down on the counter and flew in to the nearest on-call room. If she stood out in the open, there was no way she would be able to concentrate.

* * *

"I've been waiting for you." Addison whispered as Derek walked in to the room. 

"I got caught up in an argument with Preston…I'm sorry." He said, sitting down next to her. Yeah, he had said twenty minutes, but he'd meant twenty seconds, and then he'd actually made her wait twenty minutes. Addison shrugged and cupped his face in her hands, meeting his lips with hers. Instead of laying her back, Derek stood, leaning Addison against the wall. Addison tore his lab coat off his shoulders, running her fingers under the top of his scrubs. Derek slid his hands under the shoulders of her lab coat, lifting it off of her and lifting her in to his arms. Addisons skirt hitched up around her waist and Derek slammed her against the door, both of them unaware that the bang had made a loud echoing sound in the hall outside.

"Interns." Bailey whispered, shaking her head. It was then that she saw four of her five interns coming down the hall, and with George in New York…

"Dr. Bailey, have you seen Addison Shepherd?" Izzie asked, holding paperwork in her hands. Bailey shook her head, staring at the on-call room door as it banged again. "Are you alright?" Bailey nodded and the four interns jumped as a large boom came from the on-call room, followed by a round of laughter.

"Who's in there?" Meredith asked. Bailey stared at her, a 'who do you think?" look on her face. "Aw, man…" Meredith walked away down the hall, Cristina on her heels.

"Do you think people heard that?" Addison asked, staring at the file cabinet that they had knocked over while struggling out of their clothes.

Derek shrugged. "Probably." He said, laughing. Derek shifted how he was holding Addison and laid her down on the one bed in the room.

"You're lucky this one isn't a bunk bed." Addison said, smiling.

"Why?"

Addison grinned devilishly. "Because this would hurt." Addison went to slip Derek over on to his back, but instead of hitting the bed, the couple slid on to the hard floor. Addison managed to catch Derek's head before it slammed in to the floor.

"It still hurt." Derek snapped, grabbing at Addisons waist.

"Don't tickle me." She hissed, gripping Derek's hands. Derek wrenched his hands from her grip, lifting them in an 'I give' fashion. "Thank you."

Derek laughed. "Don't thank me yet. I'm not finished." Derek's hands ran up Addisons bare thighs and under her skirt, which was the only piece of clothing that was still on a person. Addison gasped as his cold hands ran over her bare inner thigh, and it wasn't long before her skirt was off and they were back on the bed, finishing what they'd started.

* * *

Addison came out of the on-call room first, running her fingers through her hair. Izzie was standing at the desk, looking through a chart when Addison cleared her throat. 

"Oh. Hi, Dr. Shepherd." Izzie looked at Addison and then looked back down at her chart before doing a double take and letting out a giggle.

"Did you hear the boom?" Addison asked, confused.

"And the bang. But, uh…" Izzie swallowed. "You know, I'd never thought of wearing a scrub top with a skirt like that, but you pull it off very well."

Addison raised her eyebrows and then looked down at the shirt she was wearing, blushing. "You did not see me wearing this." Addison snapped. Izzie nodded and looked down at the chart as Addison went back in to the on-call room. "Is there is a reason you didn't tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Derek asked, still in just his scrub bottoms. He was tying his shoes and looked up as Addison shut the door. Derek stared at her and then realized that she was wearing his scrub top when she took off her lab coat. "Oh, Addie…" Derek laughed. "I wasn't watching you get dressed. Not closely…I didn't realize…" Addison shook her head and took the top off, finding her own similarly colored silk shirt on the ground next to Derek's lab coat. "You look hot in scrubs though, Add…"

Addison laughed. "Yeah, well, that's great, but not when I'm wearing a skirt."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "I beg to differ." Addison rolled her eyes and slid her shirt on over her head, double checking that everything else was right before putting her lab coat back on. "Come here." He whispered, standing. Derek pulled Addison in to a hug, burying his nose in her hair. "I love you." He whispered.

Addison smiled. "I love you too." Derek leaned down and kissed her softly, hugging her tightly to him. "I have to go back out there. Stevens is out there, and if I'm in here too long…"

"I don't care if she knows what we're doing." Derek said, sliding his hands under Addison's shirt.

"I do." Addison said, stepping back. "Later. We'll do this later."

Derek cocked one eyebrow. "Is that a promise?" Addison nodded and left the on-call room, now finding Meredith standing with Izzie at the counter.

"Much better." Izzie said, grinning.

Addison shook her head. "Did you get that MRI back?" Izzie nodded, handing it to Addison, who looked it over as Derek came out of the on-call room. Meredith couldn't look at either of them.

"What've you got?" Derek asked, standing directly next to Addison, his arm around her waist.

"Something for you. It's a two year old, so I can be in there if you need me to…"

Derek shook his head. "You have the pregnant mother, right?" Addison nodded. "I've got this covered." Derek said, taking the paperwork from her. "Stevens, is this your case?" Izzie nodded and Derek smiled. "Great. Where are they?"

"They just got moved up here. They're down the hall." Derek nodded and placed a soft kiss on Addison's lips before following Izzie down the hall. Meredith was very intrigued with her chart when Addison stepped up to the desk.

"Meredith?"

"Here's the MRI." Meredith said, barely making eye contact with Addison.

Addison laughed. "You heard?" Meredith nodded. "Okay." Addison looked at the MRI and then walked in to her patient's room, Meredith close behind. Awkward couldn't even begin to describe the rest of the day.

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

**(4:00 P.M. in New York)**

Ellie slumped down on the couch after putting Madison in her bassinette in the bedroom. Savvy and Weiss had kept her until 3:00, and even in the last hour she'd been home, Ellie and George had managed to wear themselves out playing with her. To their defense, the 'God I missed you sex' had certainly worn them out.

"Hey." George came out of the bathroom and sat down next to Ellie on the couch. "Tired?"

"Uh-huh." Ellie said, nodding. "Why did I adopt a little girl?"

"Because you wanted to."

Ellie placed her head on George's shoulder. "Right. Okay." George laughed and put his arm around Ellie, pulling her closer to him. "How long are you here?"

"I have to fly back the night of the 23rd." Ellie nodded. "Come back with me." He whispered.

"I can't. I promised Jim that I would be here until the first."

"At which point…?"

"At which point he either has to have found a permanent head of Neurosurgery or found you a job."

George smiled. "But Addison will kill me if I don't bring you back." Ellie sighed. "El…she's dying without you."

"Serves her right."

"Eliot."

"What?" She snapped, looking up at him. "Now I'm not allowed to be mad at her?"

"Did I say that?" Ellie made a face and shook her head. "She's your best friend."

"Some best friend." Ellie whispered.

"You're annoying when you're pissed."

"Get used to it." She snapped, standing and going in to the kitchen. George sighed and followed her, leaning against the counter as Ellie began to rifle through the fridge. George watched her and soon realized that there was no more rifling going on, that she was just crouched down in front of the fridge.

"Ellie?" George moved around to the other side of the counter and pulled Ellie to her feet. Tears were streaming down her face. "Oh, Ellie…" She fell in to his arms and he held her to him, letting her sob in to his shoulder. "El…"

"I miss her." George wasn't sure what to say. "She and I used to be freakishly close. Not even Derek understood it. And now…all we do is argue…I hate that." Ellie stepped back, wiping the tears from her eyes and leaning against the sink across from George. "I grew up with PT as my best friend, and I didn't have a sister to hang out with until I was 16, and Meredith and I never got close, so when I met Addison…" Ellie took a deep shaky breath. "I needed that close, sister-like relationship, and so did she…I don't know what the hell happened."

"It's not your fault, Ellie. Even Addison knows that. She slept with Mark, she followed Derek across the country and left you here, she is the one that's being paranoid about your relationship with Derek…you just need to give her a chance."

"I have." Ellie said, closing her eyes.

"Not really. You snap and get mad at her and then things get worse." Ellie looked down and then jumped when Madison began to cry. "I'll get her. You call Addison." Ellie made a face. "Just…leave her a message or something. I know you want to." Ellie sighed and picked up the phone as George left the room.

"Hi, You've reached Addison Shepherd. I'm either with a patient or just plain busy right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can…" _Beep._

"Hi Addie, it's me." Ellie took a deep breath. "Uh…give me a call when you get the time, okay? Whenever…just call me back." Ellie went to hang up the phone, but took a deep breath and spoke again. "Addie…I love you, sis." Ellie hung up the phone just in time for George to come in to the main room, cradling Madison in his arms. "Is she okay?"

George nodded. "Yeah. She just needed someone to hold her." George leaned against the wall, hugging Madison to his chest. "Did you call her?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Yes, I called her."

George smiled. "Good." He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Ellie's lips before moving to sit on the couch. Ellie sat down next to him, snagging the remote from the coffee table and turning on the television. She leaned on to his shoulder and he cradled Madison in his right arm and squeezed Ellie's leg with his left hand. "It'll turn out okay, El."

She nodded. "I know. I just wish it would go faster."

George laughed. "Maybe if you came back to Seattle…"

Ellie laughed. "George, I told you…I can't. I have to be here until the first."

"I know. But you're coming back, right?"

Ellie shrugged. "I guess so." George chose not to push the subject anymore and laced his fingers through hers as Ellie flipped channels.

"Hey." Ellie looked up at him, stopping on an old Bruce Willis movie. "I love you."

Ellie smiled. "I love you too." Ellie reached up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Madison gurgled, causing both George and Ellie to laugh. It was at that moment that Ellie realized that George made her very happy.

* * *

"What are they doing?" Meredith asked, watching Derek and Addison sit at the table Addison normally sat at with Ellie, their bodies dangerously close. 

"Eating lunch." Izzie said, barely glancing at them and then turning back to her own food. "Who cares?"

"I care. They're sitting sickeningly close."

"Then don't look at them." Alex said, rolling his eyes. Meredith glared and then looked back down at her food.

"What's going on with the Shepherds?" Cristina asked, sitting down next to Meredith.

"I asked the same thing!" Meredith said. "Izzie and Alex think I'm crazy."

"You are crazy." Izzie said, taking a bite of her salad. "Maybe they're just having lunch."

"Sitting like that?" Cristina asked. Meredith turned to look right as Derek whispered something in Addison's ear and Addison let out a loud laugh.

"Maybe they had a good night last night." Izzie said, shrugging.

"What makes last night different than any other night?" Meredith asked, eyeing Izzie.

"It was his birthday yesterday." Meredith's eyes popped. "Did you not know that?"

Meredith shook her head. "No."

Izzie shrugged. "Oh."

"They didn't make a big deal out of it." Cristina said.

"Derek doesn't really make a big deal out of his birthday." Izzie said, as if she'd know the Shepherds forever.

"Did Ellie tell you all of this?" Meredith asked.

Izzie shook her head. "No. George did. But Ellie told him."

Meredith nodded. "I should have figured." Meredith stood. "I have a patient to check on." Izzie shrugged and Meredith left the table, dumping her tray. As she passed the Shepherds, she took a deep breath and stepped towards the table. "Dr. Shepherd?"

Both of them looked up, but it was Derek that spoke first. "Hi Meredith."

"I, uh…I didn't know it was your birthday yesterday…Happy Birthday."

Derek smiled. "Thanks Meredith." She nodded and walked away, avoiding eye contact with Addison. "I thought you two were becoming friends."

Addison laughed. "We are. But she heard us this morning…"

Derek cringed. "Awkward."

Addison giggled. "Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it." Derek smiled and took a bite of Addison's sandwich, lacing their fingers together. "Hey!"

"What?" He asked, feigning innocence. Addison rolled her eyes and leaned her head on Derek's shoulder, missing the beep of her phone telling her that she had a voicemail.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

**(9:00 P.M. in New York)**

Ellie was sitting in her bedroom, watching Madison sleep, when George came in on the phone.

"I told you that on-call room wasn't safe." George said, laughing. Ellie looked up at him. She hadn't even heard the phone ring. "Ew. Awkward." Ellie raised her eyebrows and George smiled. "Yeah, hold on." George held the phone out to Ellie. "It's Addison."

"I didn't even hear the phone ring."

"You put the ring on silent over an hour ago. It blinked."

Ellie laughed. "Right. I forgot." George shook his head as Ellie took the phone and left the bedroom. "Hello?"

"Hi. I just got your voicemail…sorry I didn't call you back earlier."

"It's okay, Add. Don't worry about it."

"So what's going on?"

Ellie sighed and sat down on the couch. "Mark tried to make a move on me."

"Oh man, El…wait, what about Annabelle?"

"Apparently, she's just a fuck-buddy."

"He actually said that?"

"Think about who we're talking about…"

"Jesus…he's such a tool."

Ellie laughed. "I know."

"What did you do?"

"I walked away and then didn't talk to him for another 10 hours…and then George showed up."

Addisons smile was evident in her tone. "I'm really glad Richard let him go."

"You're glad? I'm freaking ecstatic."

Addison laughed. "Well that's good."

"Yeah…okay, what the hell was he talking about, with the on-call room?"

"Oh…" Addison giggled. "Derek and I were, uh, fooling around…"

"You can say having sex, Add. You won't scar me."

Addison laughed. "Fine. We were having sex and we knocked over a file cabinet."

"Ouch. George and I did that once. Only it was like 2 in the morning, so there wasn't really anyone else there."

"Bailey and the other four interns heard it."

"Ew. Awkward."

Addison laughed. "No kidding. Meredith wouldn't look me in the eye the rest of the day."

"As if you could really expect her to."

Addison laughed. "So, uh…are you coming back?"

"Probably. I told Jim that I would stay until the first, and then he either has to find a new head of Neurology or find George a job."

"Really? He agreed to that?" Addison asked, her tone coming off as worried.

"He probably won't find George a job, Add. He didn't like the sound of that very much."

Addison smiled. "Good. Because I miss you…and I'm sorry."

"Add…"

"No, El. We're not avoiding this anymore. I screwed up. I never should have made the assumption that I did…it was wrong. I can't use the upset excuse…because there is no excuse. I'm really sorry."

Ellie took a deep breath. "Well, I'm sorry I blew up at you." Ellie sighed. "I don't want to lose my best friend, Add."

"Me neither."

"So what are we going to do? We argue like every other day."

"When you get back, we'll find a day that we both have off, and we'll spend it fixing everything. And I mean everything. I'm in no way kidding."

"We're tried that before, Add…"

"We only had four hours. We'll take a whole day."

Ellie took a deep breath. "Okay."

"So…I have news."

"Good news?"

"Yeah."

Ellie smiled. "Okay. Go."

"Derek and I are trying to get pregnant."

Ellie shrieked. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Addie! That's fantastic!"

Addison laughed. "He's always wanted kids, and even though I was never really sure, seeing you with Madison has made me want a little girl of my own."

"Oh, Addie…that's so exciting."

"Yeah." George came out of the bedroom at that moment, and watched Ellie interact with Addison over the phone. He now had a much better feeling that she was actually going to come back to Seattle.

**Okay. Done. I hope you liked it! Review please!**

**Ken…was that sufficient squee for you? Will it hold you over for a while?**


	29. When You Come Back to Me Again

**So I totally love this squee thread you've all got in TI. I mean seriously. Love it.**

'**Kay. I hope you guys like this chapter.**

**Chapter Title: "When You Come Back to Me Again" by Garth Brooks**

**Half Love**

"**When You Come Back to Me Again"**

_On a prayer, in a song  
I hear your voice and  
It keeps me hanging on  
Raining down  
Against the wind  
I'm reaching out till  
We reach the circle's end  
When you come  
Back to me again  
And again I see  
My yesterday's in front of me  
Unfolding like a mystery  
You're changing all that is  
And used to be –  
_"_When You Come Back to Me Again"  
__By Garth Brooks_

**March 31st, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

**(10:00 A.M. in New York)**

"He looks so gloomy."

"He probably feels gloomy."

"Well, it has been 15 days since Ellie left Seattle." Addison said as they watched George shuffle down the hall.

"But only 8 days since he's seen her."

"But he loves her."

Derek nodded. "Yeah. He does."

"She hasn't called me since he left New York. I think he made her call me."

"She's Head of Neurology; Add…she's probably very busy."

Addison sighed. "I just can't help but think that she doesn't want to talk to me."

Derek shook his head. "Addison…"

"Dr. Shepherd." Izzie came running down the hall. "There's an urgent call on the phone for you, Addison. Someone from New York." Addison dove for the nearest phone. "Line one."

"Thanks." Izzie nodded and Addison picked up the phone. "This is Addison Shepherd."

"Addison, it's Jason. I…Ellie…she needs you. She went out to dinner with Mark last night and…I don't know what happened, but this morning she had nervous breakdown in the locker room and the only thing she's said since 7 am is 'I just want to talk to Addie'."

"Oh God. Where is she?"

"Sitting next to me. Here." Addison grabbed for Derek as Jason handed the phone to Ellie.

"Addie?" Addison almost gasped at the pain and tears in Ellie's voice "Addie…"

"Honey, what happened?" Addison gripped Derek, who was staring at her with panic on his face.

"I need you." Ellie whimpered.

"Ellie, I need you to tell me what happened."

"I went out to dinner with Mark, and…" Ellie's breath hitched as if she was going to start crying again. "He said that…that…that…" Ellie's voice broke and she burst in to tears. Addison herself was on the verge of breaking down. "I can't do this over the phone. Addie I need you." Derek wiped the tears from Addisons face as she tried to regain her composure.

"I'm on my way, honey. Just…wait, give the phone back to Jason."

"Okay." Addison coughed and Derek wrapped her in a hug.

"Addison?"

"Keep him the hell away from her."

"Uh. Already done. If that man comes anywhere near her I swear to God, I'll…"

"No. Wait until she tells me what happened, and then I get to deal with him."

"But…"

"Just keep him away from her. Got it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'm going to catch the next flight to New York."

"Okay." Addison hung up the phone and headed towards Richard's office, Derek still attached to her waist.

"Addison, what…?"

"I'm going to kill him. He hurt her again, and damn it…" Addison shook her head and flew in to Richard's office where he was having a meeting with Burke.

"Addison…what?"

"I need to go to New York."

Richard stared. "Uh…"

"If I try to explain it you won't get it, but…"

"Is it Eliot?" Addison nodded. "Go."

Addison sighed with relief. "Thank you."

"Just you. You're not taking any tag-a-longs."

Addison nodded. "Deal. Thank you." Richard nodded and Addison left his office, Derek on her heels.

"Addie, what happened?"

"All I know is Mark opened his damn mouth again…" Addison said, shoving through the door in to the locker room. "And whatever he said killed her. And she needs me."

Derek nodded. "Let me take you to the airport."

Addison shook her head. "I'm going to take a cab."

"Don't you need clothes?"

"I'm the same size as Ellie, Derek."

"You're taller than she is."

"Derek!" Derek jumped. "Honey, I don't care if I don't have clothes."

"Okay." Derek took a deep breath. "Will you call me?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah." Addison kissed him softly. "I need to go talk to Stevens, put her in charge of some stuff…will you call me a cab?"

Derek nodded. "Absolutely." Addison left the locker room and Derek took a deep breath. God he hoped Ellie was okay.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

**(1:00 P.M. in New York)**

"Hey man…you're by yourself." Derek looked up, his eyes popping as he made eye contact with George. He didn't know.

"Yeah…"

"I'm just used to seeing you with Addison. You two are always together lately."

Derek looked down. "She's not here."

"Where is she?" George asked, leaning against the counter.

Derek sighed. "New York. With Ellie."

"With Ellie? Really?" Derek nodded and George noticed the pained look in his eyes. "What happened?"

"Uh…" Derek took a deep breath. "I don't know. Addison isn't actually in New York yet…"

"Why did she go?" Derek shrugged. "Don't lie to me, Derek."

Derek sighed. "Something happened with Mark."

"What?" George stood up straight, his eyes wide and his face continually getting redder. "Why the hell didn't anyone tell me?"

"Richard said you couldn't go, man. He said only Addison could go."

"Did Ellie specifically call Addison?" Derek nodded and George kicked the desk. "Why didn't she call me?"

"Addison is her best friend, George." Derek said, pulling him in to an empty room. "Ellie needed her best friend."

"I'm her boyfriend! If that asshole did something, I want to know about it!"

"We don't even know what happened yet. Just calm down."

George took a deep breath. "Okay." George sat down on the empty bed in the room. "Is Addison going to call you once she finds out what's going on?"

"Yeah. She said she would."

"When will she get there?"

"Uh…it'll be 3:00 here."

George's eyes widened. "That's forever!" George stood and began pacing the room. "I want to call her."

"She's not going to talk to you."

"But…"

"She spent the whole morning repeating, 'I just want to talk to Addison'. She's not going to want to talk to you."

George slumped down on the bed. "I just want to make sure that she's okay."

Derek nodded. "I know. Addison will call."

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

**(3:00 P.M. in Seattle)**

Addison's boots clicked on the hospital floor as she left the rainy New York evening. She'd tried to take a nap on the plane, but she couldn't do it. She was too worried about Ellie to do anything but worry about Ellie. Addison flew to the front desk, managing a smile. "Is Jason Andrews here?" The nurse, new since Addison had left, looked up, skeptical, before Jason came flying down the hall.

"Addison!" Addison turned, letting out a sigh. "Come on." Addison followed Jason down the hall, ignoring the looks of people that she had long ago left behind. Jason led her to an on-call room. "She's in there."

Addison nodded. "Thanks for calling me, Jason."

He nodded. "She needed you. Besides, even if she hadn't said anything, who else would I call?" Addison managed a small smile and went in to the on-call room, setting her purse on top of a file cabinet and locking the door behind her. Ellie was curled up on the bottom bunk, facing away from the door.

"El…?" Ellie spun around, her eyes red from crying, and flew in to Addison's arms. Addison slowly backed to the wall, gripping her best friend. Ellie sobbed in to Addison's shoulder. It wasn't long before Addison broke down too. She put one hand on the back of Ellie's head and leaned in to her shoulder, taking deep, slow breaths. She hated seeing Ellie this way. "Honey…what happened?"

Ellie took a long, deep, shaky breath. "It's my fault."

"What?"

"The whole thing." Ellie said, taking a step back. "I treated Mark horribly, I tore Derek away from you…I was horrible to you…" Ellie sat down on the edge of the bed. "I blamed it on you because I didn't want to admit that it was my fault."

"Ellie…" Addison shook her head. "Okay, that's not true, but first…tell me what Mark said."

Ellie took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. "He said…he told me the truth. The last year of our relationship I spent more and more time with Derek because of the neurosurgery thing, because he was always teaching me new things, and I wanted to be around him to learn…I wanted to be the female Derek Shepherd…" Ellie managed a small laugh. "Hell, I still want to be the female Derek Shepherd." Addison smiled. "I ignored Mark. A lot. And I totally understand why the two of you thought I was interested in Derek." Ellie sighed. "So basically, to start, I pushed Mark away. That's why he turned to you." Ellie looked down. "And I pulled Derek away from you…God, Addie…I'm so sorry."

Addison shook her head. "Ellie it is not your fault."

"And then I pushed you away from me." Ellie said, tears streaming down her face. "I couldn't admit that I had pushed Mark away from me and in to your arms so I completely blamed it on you, and…and I lost my best friend." Ellie hiccupped through her tears and put her head in her hands. "I suck."

Addison put her arm around Ellie, pulling her in to a hug. "A, you do not suck. Mark sucks. B, you may have pushed me away, but I deserved it. C, Derek has a brain. He chose to let you pull him away. And D, if Mark was so devastated by you pushing him away, he would have said something." Addison took a deep breath. "There's more though. Isn't there?"

Ellie nodded. "I…he made a move on me again, and when I told him to get away from me because I'm in love with George, he said that I shouldn't waste my time. He said I'm just going to do to George what I did to him, and I might as well go back to him because he's willing to forgive me." Ellie slammed her head against the wall. "What if he's right?"

"He's not right. He's an ass."

Ellie managed a laugh. "Addison…"

"I'm serious! Why on earth he thinks that it's okay to say horrible wrong shit like that to you is beyond me."

"It's not wrong."

"It is wrong. We all made a lot of mistakes in the last couple of years, El, but Mark and I made the biggest one. Actually, I made the biggest one. I let my husband and my best friend down."

Ellie took a deep breath. "I'm tired of being mad at you."

"I'm tired of you being mad at me too." Addison said, trying to break the tension. Ellie laughed and Addison smiled. "In all seriousness, I'm tired of all of it. I just want us to be those two people everyone looked at weird because we're eight years apart but we act like we're the exact same age and we tell each other everything."

"I know, Add. I'm trying."

"I know. So am I."

Ellie took a deep breath. "Wait…what the hell are you doing here?"

Addison stared. "I'm sorry…what?"

"No, I mean…Richard said he wasn't going to let anyone come to New York."

Addison laughed. "What don't you do?"

Ellie smiled. "You don't mess."

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

**(6:00 P.M. in Seattle)**

"How did you convince Jason and Michelle to take Madison…what the hell did you promise them?" Ellie asked, leaning back in the booth.

"Jason wants the Head of Neurology position. And the only reason Jim didn't give it to him in the first place is because you have more experience because of Derek."

"Yeah, and…?"

"I promised him that I would talk to Jim about it…tell him what a fabulous surgeon Jason is…"

"Are you going to guilt him in to it somehow?"

Addison nodded. "Guilt is not needed with Jim Mitchell. A little hair flip and some winks and smiles and the man is putty in my hands."

Ellie shook her head. "Weird. You're so weird."

Addison shrugged. "I try."

"Can I get you ladies something to drink?" The waitress asked, smiling.

"A Manhattan for me, and…"

"Gin and Tonic. More Gin than tonic." Ellie grinned.

The waitress smiled. "Sure thing."

"Wanting to get drunk?"

"What do you think?"

Addison laughed. "Tomorrow is your last day here."

Ellie nodded. "I know."

"I was thinking…why don't we stay in New York until the third. Visit all the placed we used to hang out…"

"Yeah, sure…but aren't you and Derek trying to make…wait, what did you call them?"

"FHBs."

"Right. FHBs. So isn't that going to be a little hard with one of you here and one of you in Seattle?"

Addison grinned. "We'll manage."

Ellie stared at her and then let out a shriek. "Oh my god. Ew!"

Addison laughed. "I'm kidding." Ellie smiled and leaned back in the booth until Addison's eyes began to widen. "Oh God."

"What?" Ellie turned and followed Addison's gaze, only to make eye contact. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Mark sidled up to the booth, a sly grin on his face. "Ladies…"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Addison asked, watching as Ellie began to turn very pale.

"I wanted to see my favorite girls, and I figured that you would be here."

"First, we're not your girls." Addison snapped. Ellie took one last look at Addison and bolted from the booth, stumbling out the front door.

"Where is she going?" Mark asked, offended.

"Far the hell away from you. How could you say that stuff to her?"

"What, you mean the truth?"

Addison shook her head. "Mark, Ellie is not the reason we slept together."

"She pushed me away."

"So? You didn't fight. And I didn't fight for Derek. And we both should have." Mark looked down. "No one person is to blame for this whole thing. We all screwed up…but you and I screwed up worst of all."

"I still love her, Addie. But I still love you…I don't know what to do. You're both with these really fantastic guys…"

"So what were you going to do, scare her in to coming back to you?" Mark shrugged. "Oh Mark…you know she really loves George, right?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. I could see it when he showed up."

Addison nodded. "You should really go. And I would suggest not talking to Ellie for a long while." Mark nodded and turned to leave. "Mark?" He turned back, a hopeful look in his eyes. "Maybe one day, we'll all be friends again." Mark managed a smile and left the restaurant. On his way out he passed Ellie, leaning against the outside wall of the restaurant.

"I'm sorry." He said, pausing. Ellie glanced at him and he left, without another word. Ellie took a deep breath and went back inside, sliding in to the booth.

"You okay?" Addison asked. Ellie shrugged. "Hopefully he'll finally leave you alone."

Ellie sighed. "Yeah."

"You wanna get out of here?"

Ellie nodded. "Sure." Ellie took a deep breath. "You go get a cab, I'll wait for the check."

Addison shook her head. "It's on me, El…"

"Just go get a cab, huh?" Ellie said, sighing. Addison grabbed her purse and jacket from the booth and left just in time for the waitress to come to the table. The young woman set the drinks down without a word, and Ellie waited until she had left to set money on the table. Ellie was going to leave the drinks, but she changed her mind and chugged both the Gin and Tonic and most of the Manhattan before standing. The alcohol stung her throat, but Ellie managed a last swallow of the Manhattan before heading out of the restaurant and to the waiting cab.

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

**(11:00 P.M. in New York)**

Derek paced the front desk. Addison had said she would call, and she hadn't yet. Both he and George wanted to know if Ellie was okay, but they were waiting on Addison to give them the okay to talk to her. As if on cue, the hospital phone rang and Olivia answered it.

"Seattle Grace…sure, just one moment Dr. Shepherd."

Derek let out a sigh of relief as Olivia handed him the phone. "Addie?"

"Hi. Sorry, we were talking…"

"No, it's okay. How is she?"

"Well, Mark's an ass."

"What did he say?"

Addison groaned. "It's not really important, but he hurt her." Addison took a deep breath. "We went to dinner, and he showed up…he said he would leave her alone for a while…I just hope he follows through on that."

"Are you…is she coming back with you?"

"Yeah." Addison said, the smile evident in her voice. "We're going to stay here for a couple of days and get back to us…and then we'll be home."

"Okay." Derek took a deep breath. "Is she there?"

"Yeah, I'll get her for you."

"Okay. Hey, Addie?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

Addison smiled. "I love you too." Derek tapped his fingers on the counter as he waited for Ellie. She picked up the phone just as George reached Derek.

"Hi."

"Hey. Want me to beat him up for you?"

Ellie laughed. "Please."

Derek grinned. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay." Ellie said, slurring her words together. It was very obvious that she was drunk. "Addishun said he would leam me alone."

"Are you drunk?"

"Whaddayou think?"

"I think George wants to talk to you."

"Okay. I love you, Derek."

Derek smiled. "I love you too, El." Derek handed the phone to George and leaned against the counter.

"Ellie?"

"Hi honey."

"Are you okay? Why didn't you call me? What did he do?"

"One question at a time, George. I'm drunk."

"Are you okay?"

"Yesh."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I needed Addishun. I needed to talk to my betht friend."

"What did he do?"

"Told me the truf. And if shucked."

"Uh-huh. Maybe you should sleep this off."

"Prolly."

"Will you call me in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I love you."

"Oh George, I love you too." George hung up the phone and put his head in his hands.

"Are you alright?"

"Are they coming back?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah…"

"Good. Because I think we have a problem." George headed down the hall and it took Derek a second to follow him because he first had to figure out what problem George was talking about. It wasn't long before he realized that Ellie had been drinking a lot lately.

* * *

Ellie slammed the phone in to the receiver and leaned back in to the couch. 

"I didn't realize I was that impaired until I started talking to George."

"Yeah, honey, maybe you should stop." Addison said, grabbing the vodka bottle out of Ellie's hands.

"What? Why? A little alcohol isn't going to kill me."

"You've had a lot of alcohol, El."

"Whatever. I'm fine." Ellie snatched the bottle back from Addison and took a swig of it. "I can handle myself."

Addison shook her head. "Obviously not." Addison took the bottle back and went in to the kitchen.

"Who are you, my mother? Give it back, Addie."

"No." Addison dumped what was left of the vodka down the kitchen sink. "You have a problem."

Ellie scoffed. "I do not. What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that every time you get upset you drink."

"Lots of people do that, Add."

"Most of them are considered alcoholics."

Ellie laughed. "You drink when you're upset too."

"Not as much as you." Addison pulled Ellie on to the couch and sat down across from her. "Honey…maybe you should stop with the alcohol thing. You have a little girl."

"Not tonight." Ellie stumbled in to the kitchen, reaching in to the fridge and pulling out a beer.

"Ellie…"

"What?" Ellie swung back the beer, chugging about half of it before Addison wrenched it from her grasp. "Hey!"

"Stop it. You can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Ellie asked, leaning against the counter.

"Drink away your pain."

"I'm not." Ellie laughed. "Addison, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous. You paid for the drinks so that you could drink them before we left the restaurant, and you've been nursing that bottle of vodka since we got here."

"So I like a little alcohol. So what?"

"Ellie, you have a problem."

Ellie sighed. "I do not." Ellie stumbled out of the kitchen and towards her bedroom. "If anyone has a problem it's you. You can't stop meddling in other peoples business."

"You're my best friend. Your business is my business."

Ellie took a step in to her bedroom and spun around. "Not anymore." Ellie shut the door in Addison's face and Addison leaned against the wall. This time she'd just been trying to help.

**Okay, I know it's kind of short and there's no squee, but I need your help. Should I continue with Addison and Eliot in New York, trying to patch things up and work through this alcohol problem, or should I jump to them getting back to Seattle and add some squee? Because I'm not sure…help me out, guys!**

**Mel.**


	30. Promise

**Writers block sucks. So does work. And senior year. Sorry this took me so long. Hope you like it.**

**Chapter Title: "Promise" by Simple Plan**

**Half Love**

**"Promise"**

_Breakdown  
I can't take this  
I need somewhere to go  
I need you  
I'm so restless  
I don't know what to do  
__I promise  
I won't let you down  
if you take my hand tonight  
I promise –  
_"_Promise"  
__By Simple Plan_

**March 31st, 2006**

**1:00 A.M.**

**(10:00 P.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie tipped the bottle of Southern Comfort back and cringed as the alcohol burned her throat. She hadn't always been a drinker. Sure, she drank, especially with Addison and Derek (and Mark), bur it hadn't become her escape until the year before, when everything fell apart. Ellie was almost positive she had spent the first two weeks after the event completely smashed. It got worse when Derek left, and then worse again when Addison followed him. But Ellie'd had a bad year; she did not have a problem.

Ellie took another swig of the alcohol as Addison knocked on the bedroom door yet again. "Ellie...?"

"Go away." Ellie said her voice surprisingly strong for how drunk she was.

"Ellie..." Addison came in to the room and Ellie let the bottle drop in to the garbage can. Addison pretended not to notice. "Honey, talk to me."

"I have to go to sleep. I have to work tomorrow."

"Ellie..."

"I'm serious, Addison."

Addison sighed. "Okay. But do not leave without talking to me in the morning."

"Fine." Addison left the room reluctantly, closing the door behind her, and Ellie took one last swig from the bottle before reaching for her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm not an alcoholic."

George choked on whatever he'd been drinking. "Uh..."

"Addison thinks I'm an alcoholic. I'm not."

George sighed. "Ellie..."

"Why does everyone think that there's something wrong with me? There's not."

"Eliot, listen to you. You're upset with Addison because she was trying to help you..."

"She was not. I don't need help. I'm fine." Ellie took a deep breath, all of a sudden nauseous. "I don't need anyone's help."

"Listen to me. In the last month and a half, every time you drink, you get completely smashed. On Valentines Day, at Merediths during the surprise party...Ellie, I can't even count the number of times you've been too drunk to realize what you're saying..." George sighed. "Addisons worried, Derek's worried; I'm worried..."

Ellie ignored the tears on her cheeks. "You don't need to be worried. I'm fine."

"Ellie..."

"I have to go. I have to work my last shift at 8:00, so I need to get some sleep."

"Okay..." George took a deep breath. "Ellie, I need you to promise me something."

"Uh...okay..."

"Let Addison be your best friend. Let her worry."

"Okay..."

"And Ellie...let me love you."

Ellie smiled. "Okay."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

"Say it." George swallowed. "Tell me you promise."

Ellie took a deep breath. "I promise."

* * *

**April 1st, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

**(5:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Jason knew right away that something was wrong. She hadn't spoken yet, but he knew. Brown aviator sunglasses, black pants, black shoes, brown sweater; hair up...Ellie's hangover outfit. He hadn't seen it on her in a while, but she used to wear it all time, especially right after everything. From the looks of it, Mark had really taken a toll on her, and somehow, things had taken a turn for the even worse.

"Ellie?" Ellie turned to Jason and looked at him, although he couldn't tell whether or not she was actually looking at him. "You okay?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow and kept walking, not a word spoken. Jason nodded to himself. Things were very bad.

Ellie continued down the hall, taking deep breaths as she went. Addison was going to kill her. Ellie had left while Addison was in the shower. They hadn't spoken all morning.

"Dr. Grey?" Ellie stopped. As much as she didn't want to talk to anyone, she had learned not to be rude to nurses before she had even started at Bellevue. Ellie turned and smiled. "I have these charts for you…" She lifted a stack of 12 or so charts on to the counter and it was all Ellie could do not to groan. "They all came in last night after you left or early this morning. Dr. Mitchell asked that you finish the most important ones and he'll pass the others on to the new head."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. Thank you." Her own voice made her head throb as she gathered the charts and headed down the hall. She kicked the door to her office shut and sat down at her desk, placing the charts in her lap. It wasn't really her office or her desk anymore, but she was all for spending the morning pretending.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

**(7:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

"She left without talking to me."

"Addison, you got in the shower. Did you really expect her to wait?"

"Yes." Addison whined, letting Madison grip her finger. Michelle had just dropped the little girl off.

Derek laughed. "Add…"

"I know." She said. "I don't know what to do."

"Just go in and try talking to her. You're going in there to talk to Jim anyway, aren't you?"

Addison sighed. "Yeah."

"Okay. Go talk to Jim and then talk to Ellie. When are you guys coming back?"

"I don't know." Addison grinned as Madison giggled. "We were going to stay for a couple of days but now I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Well, she's not going to listen to me, and…"

"Addison, you should stay. It'll give you a chance to patch things up. If you need help, just call me."

"I don't want her to hate me because I keep bringing up this alcohol thing."

"One day she'll thank you for it."

"One day is a long time from now, Derek!"

Derek sighed. "Addie, you're strong enough to do this. And you're her best friend. She needs you."

Addison sighed. "I know." She glanced at the clock and cringed. "I have to go, Derek. I'm meeting with Jim at 10:30."

"Okay. I love you. Call me."

"I will. I love you too." Addison hung up the phone and hugged Madison to her chest, gathering her other bags and heading out the door. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

**10:30 A.M.**

**(7:30 A.M. in Seattle)**

"Addison, I don't know…"

"Have you found anyone else yet?"

Jim shrugged. "No. I had a guy, but he got a better offer from Los Angeles. I was hoping to convince Eliot by offering her boyfriend a job."

"Jason is the same age as Ellie."

"Ellie knows more because she studied with Derek."

"Jim, Jason studied with Derek too. If you're set on moving someone up, then Jason and Ellie are your best bets, but with Ellie in Seattle…"

"Eliot said if I found her boyfriend a job then she would stay."

"I just…" Addison sighed. "Ellie's going through a lot, and she needs the people that she's closest to. Derek and I aren't coming back to New York…I don't think that it's a very good idea for her to stay."

Jim took note of the worried look on Addisons face and sighed. "So…Jason…?"

* * *

Addison left Jims office, taking Madison from Michelle. "Do you know where Jason is?" 

"In surgery with Ellie. They're in OR2."

"Great. Thanks." Michelle nodded and Addison headed down the hall to OR2. Madison gurgled in her arms and Addisons heart jumped. She couldn't wait to have one of her own. Addison walked up the steps to the gallery and sat down, trying to ignore the weird looks she was getting. _Yes, I'm back. No, not permanently. Yes, I'm here with Dr. Grey. No, the baby's not mine. Yes, Derek and I are still together._ Addison mentally answered every question that the other doctors could consider asking. She wanted to scream, "Got a fucking problem?", but instead she watched Ellie and Jason perform their surgery. Ellie was performing quite well for being hung-over.

"Dr. Shepherd?" One of the young girls that had been an intern when Addison had left, and one of Addison's favorites, sat down next to her.

"Hello Dr. Finch. How have you been?"

"Fine. And it's Lauryn, you know that." Addison smiled. "How have you been?"

Addison shrugged. "As good as I can be. How's your residency going?"

"Really well. I, uh…I'm in neonatal."

Addison smiled. "That's fantastic, Lauryn. I knew you had the potential." In that moment, Addison realized that what had drawn her to Lauryn over a year ago was what had drawn her to Izzie Stevens recently. They were very similar doctors.

"I should go. It was good talking to you again."

"You too, Lauryn." The young girl left and Addison realized that during their conversation the surgery had ended. Addison left the now empty gallery only to find Ellie and Jason talking to Jim at the bottom of the steps.

"I was just coming up to get you." Ellie said. "Hi baby!" Ellie turned her attention to Madison, who gurgled and giggled as Ellie lifted her in to the air.

"This is a huge job, Jason. And if you don't do it right, then you're fired and it's her head." Jim said, motioning to Addison. "So do it right. Spend the rest of the day with Eliot. You start tomorrow." Jim left and Jason threw his arms around Addison.

"Thank you!"

Addison laughed. "Sure."

"You can start by doing the follow-up on the surgery we just finished. I need to talk to Addison." Jason nodded and headed down the hall, a grin on his face. Ellie took a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I left this morning. But you got in the shower, and I was going to wait until I realized that if I waited then I'd be late for work."

"It's okay. Do you have time now?"

Ellie glanced at her watch. "I have another surgery at one, so I have about two hours."

Addison smiled. "Perfect." The two women headed down the hall to Ellie's office, Ellie cradling Madison to her chest. Addison watched her best friend with her new baby and Addison got jealous. She hadn't always wanted kids, but knowing that Derek wanted kids, and now, seeing Ellie with a baby, Addison wanted one more than anything. They walked in to Ellie's soon-to-be-former office and Ellie shut the door. After setting a now sleeping Madison in the car seat Addison has brought with her, Ellie slumped down in the chair behind the desk and slid her aviators on. "Long morning?"

Ellie groaned. "Long fucking week. These last few days have sucked."

Addison nodded. "I noticed."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"You can't tell me that you don't remember last night…"

"Of course I remember last night." Ellie snapped. "You accused me of being an alcoholic."

"I never said that. I said that you'd had a lot of alcohol."

"Which implies alcoholic."

"It does not. I never said alcoholic."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"You know, I love that we don't even talk anymore, we just launch right in to an argument."

Ellie shrugged. "Isn't that what you wanted to talk about? My alcohol problem?"

"I don't want to fight with you. I want to help you."

Ellie sighed. "I don't need your help, Addie. I've had a rough year, that's all." Ellie closed her eyes behind her aviators. "Besides, it makes them go away."

Addison stared. "What do you mean?" Ellie remained silent, cocking her head towards Addison. "Oh my God…you mean the nightmares?" Ellie nodded, tears springing to her cheeks. "Honey…"

"There's nothing else that works. Sleep pills don't work, George doesn't help…"

"I thought…" Ellie shook her head. "But Mark…"

Ellie took off her sunglasses and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "That's what kills me. Mark did help." Ellie sighed. "And then he ripped me to pieces. Multiple times."

"That's what it is, right there." Ellie stared at Addison, a blank look on her face. "Your head trusts George, but your heart doesn't. It's not ready yet. Same reason you can't seem to get along with Meredith."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "You were already confusing me, now you're just off your rocker."

Addison laughed. "I'm serious. Mark and I broke your heart." She said, causing both women to cringe. "It's not ready to let other people in…your head is ready, but your heart isn't."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Ellie asked, leaning in to the back of the chair. "These nightmares are going to kill me."

"I don't know, honey. I don't know."

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

**(1:00 P.M. in New York)**

George paced the empty locker room, unsure of what else to do. He hadn't heard from Ellie since 10 o'clock the night before, and Derek hadn't talked to Addison since 7:30. George was worried…he didn't know what to do.

"George?" Cristina poked her head in the door. "Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Webber want to talk to you. They're in the chief's office."

"Thanks." George slid his white coat on and followed Cristina out of the locker room and down the hall.

"Is everything okay?" Cristina asked. She wasn't a sympathetic person, but George looked like he was going to pass out.

"I don't know." George said, pressing the elevator button. "I really don't know." Cristina nodded and George got on to the elevator without another word. Just as the doors shut, Burke joined Cristina in the hall.

"Are you alright?" He asked, putting his arm around her.

"I'm fine. George, however, is not fine."

"Are you being sympathetic?" Burke asked, laughing.

"No." She snapped, walking away. "It's just something I noticed."

* * *

George knocked on the chief's door and poked his head inside the room sheepishly. 

"Come on in, O'Malley." Richard said. "Shut the door." George shut the door and sat down next to Derek. "Derek and I have been talking about what's going on with Ellie."

George nodded. "I'm not sure what to do, Dr. Webber."

"I think I may be able to help. First, I'm going to let the two of you go to New York for a couple of days and bring the girls back." George smiled. "And then, when you come back…" Richard took a deep breath. "What I'm going to tell you is something that not many people know." George nodded. "I'm in A.A." George was surprised, but he managed not to show it. "I can be Ellie's sponsor, but only if she'll let me."

"That's…thank you, Dr. Webber."

Richard nodded. "I'd like you two to leave tonight. I know that they wanted to patch things up, but alcoholism is a hard thing to deal with, and as much as I'd like to think that Addison can handle it, I'm not sure she can."

"Dr. Webber, thank you. I didn't know what to do, and…"

"Stop babbling, O'Malley." Derek said, speaking for the first time since George had entered the room. "Let's just go."

George nodded. "Okay." The two men left the office and George heaved a deep sigh. "Are they going to be upset?"

"That we're coming?" George nodded and Derek shrugged. "Addison won't be upset, but Ellie…man, I don't know."

* * *

**4:00 A.M.**

**(1:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

It was almost daybreak when Ellie decided that trying to sleep wasn't working for her. No alcohol: she'd promised Addison, and she had kept her promise, but two nightmares and an almost sleepless night later, Ellie would give anything for a drink. She slid slowly out of bed and to her closed door. When she opened it, Addisons sleeping figure collapsed at her feet.

"Shit." Ellie hissed, backing away from the door. But Addison didn't wake up. She shifted, rolling towards the door jam, but she didn't open her eyes. Ellie took a deep breath and stepped over Addison and out in to the hall. As Ellie walked in to the kitchen, Ellie knew that there probably would be any alcohol anywhere, but it certainly didn't hurt to look. Both the refrigerator and the freezer were empty, and all of Ellie's obvious hiding places had been cleaned out. It wasn't until Ellie was kneeling on the counter, looking behind noodles and pasta sauce that she realized that something was very wrong. It was 4 a.m. and she was raiding her kitchen cabinets for alcohol she knew wasn't there. Ellie sat down on the counter, realizing all too quickly that Addison was right. She very much had a problem.

Ellie was leaning her back against the fridge, still seated on the counter, when Addison came in to the kitchen. "You okay?" Addison asked, hoisting herself on to the counter.

"I…I have a problem. I woke up and came out here looking for something to drink…even though I knew that nothing was going to be there." Ellies head was already in her hands, and Addison placed a hand on Ellie's knee. "I was actually raiding my own cabinets for liquor." Ellie took a shaky breath. "You were right. I'm as fucked up as they come."

"I did not say that." Addison snapped, causing Ellie to look up. "You're not fucked up. You're a little worse for the wear, but you've been hurt a lot…you just have to let us help you." Ellie put her head in her hands again and Addison went to pull her in to a hug, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Were you expecting someone?"

"No." Ellie muttered. Addison leapt down from the counter and made her way over to the door. When she opened it, her mouth formed a smile.

"Kitchen." She said, grinning widely. George walked past her and in to the kitchen, placing one hand on Ellie's shoulder as he set his bag down on the counter.

"George…" She breathed, looking up. He had a small smile on his face and the minute he leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead, Ellie burst in to tears. George slid one arm under her legs and placed the other around her back, lifting her in to his arms and carrying her in to her bedroom. Addison smiled to herself, unaware that her husband was standing in the doorway. When she turned around to shut the door, she almost shrieked.

"Hi." He said, a grin on his face.

"Derek…" Addison melted as Derek scooped her in to his arms and held her tightly to his chest. "Thank God you're here." Derek placed a soft kiss on the top of Addisons head and shut the front door, dropping his bag by the door. Addison threaded her fingers through his and led him to Ellie's spare bedroom, shutting the door as they went inside.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked, lying down next to her on the bed, their fingers still intertwined. She nodded and placed her head on his chest. "Richard wants to help." Addison looked up at him, confused. "He wants to be her sponsor."

Addison smiled. "That…that's good. She…right before you guys got here she actually told me that I was right."

Derek nodded. "That's good." Addison nodded and placed her head back on his chest. "I missed you." Derek whispered. Addison grinned widely. "I talked Richard in to letting us come. I wanted to help Ellie, but…I wanted to see you." Addison curled up tightly against his chest and Derek wrapped his arms around her. For a while, they just held each other.

* * *

George curled up next to Ellie on the bed after checking on Madison in the walk-in closet turned nursery and took her hand. "Ellie…" 

"George…" Ellie took a deep breath. "Make love to me George."

"El…" George looked in to her eyes and quickly realized that she was very serious. "I…uh…"

"I need you, George." Ellie wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Please."

George thought for a moment before leaning in to kiss her. It started sympathetically, and turned passionate within a few seconds. George rolled Ellie on to her back, propping himself up over her. Ellie slid his khaki jacket off of his shoulders and put her hands under his dark blue shirt as he placed slow sensual kisses on her neck. George pulled back and let Ellie lift his shirt off over his head. George untied the drawstring on her pajama pants and slid them down her legs. Ellie lifted her arms above her head and let George take the tank top she was wearing off of her before completely succumbing to him.

* * *

Addison straddled Derek, unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing as she placed kisses on his chest. When Addison finished unbuttoning the shirt, Derek rolled her on to her back, throwing his shirt off and kissing her passionately. 

"God, Derek…" She whispered as he slid one hand underneath the hem of the sweats she was wearing.

"Ssshhh…" He said, grinning. "Don't talk."

"But…" Derek shook his head, silencing her with a kiss on the lips. Addison wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his body as close to hers as possible. Derek slid her t-shirt off and then slid the sweats down her legs, taking her underwear with them. Addison gasped as his warm breath descended on her lower body, and it wasn't long before one hand was in his hair and the other was gripping a pillow as Addison came over the edge, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible. Derek trailed kisses up her body, sliding his boxers off before placing another sensual kiss on Addison's lips.

* * *

Later that night, Addison was curled up in Derek's arms, sleeping peacefully, and her best friend was just across the hall, wrapped in George's arms, sleeping all the way through the rest of the night for the first time in weeks.

**Man, I hope you guys liked that. Sorry it took me so long.**

**Hey…incase you didn't know…KW is on Ellen Degeneres tomorrow…**

**Mel.**


	31. Do the Whirlwind

**Sorry this took me so long. I was getting a relatively good reaction to Destination: Almost Perfect and I got distracted. But I'm back. Because I love this one as much as you guys do.**

**Chapter Title: "Do the Whirlwind" by Architecture in Helsinki**

**Half Love**

"**Do the Whirlwind"**

_She said you'd given up,  
__Your folks told me you should be left alone,  
__On a mountain top knocking the aeroplanes down with stones.  
__Do the whirlwind and carry the hope that stings all night long,  
__Don't abandon him 'cause he quivers when he hears your song,  
__Believe me, it's safe to see. –  
_"_Do the Whirlwind"  
__By Architecture in Helsinki_

**April 2nd, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

When Addison awoke the next morning, Derek was gone. He'd shut the bedroom door, but he'd left the light on and clothes on the bed. Typical Derek. Half considerate, half careless. As Addison sat up, letting the comforter fall from her bare chest, the door opened. Addison barely had time to react.

"Ahh! Oh God." George's hands flew to his eyes as Addison scrambled to put a shirt on. "I am so sorry. I didn't realize…Derek!" George yelled out the door, facing away from Addison as she got dressed. "You're an ass."

"What? Why?" He asked, coming in to the hall from the kitchen.

"Next time you want me to wake your wife, warn me that she's not fully dressed." Dereks eyes widened. "I didn't see anything, but Jesus Christ…"

Derek poked his head in the door. "Sorry Addie."

"Sorry Addie?" George sighed. "What am I, chopped liver?"

Derek laughed and shut the door as George went back in to the kitchen. "You okay?" She nodded. "I'm really sorry. I forgot…"

"It's okay." Addison said, smiling. "I think George was more startled than I was."

Derek laughed. "Come on. Eliot and I made breakfast."

"You let Eliot cook? She's worse than me." Addison smiled. "And that's saying something."

"It's fine." Derek placed a soft kiss on her lips and smiled. "I made most of it anyway." Addison grinned and followed Derek in to the kitchen.

"Morning." Ellie said, grinning. "So you two had sex last night?"

"Yep. You?" Ellie nodded and Addison laughed as George groaned from his place next to Ellie. "That good, huh?"

Ellie laughed and George sighed. "I'm going to go check on Madison." He said, trying to get out of the kitchen.

"Wait." Addison stopped him by gripping his upper arm with her hand. "I'll get her." George nodded, unable to look Addison in the eye. "You need to chill, George. We're all friends here."

George sighed. "But you're my boss."

"Yeah?" Addison leaned in towards his ear. "So is Ellie." Addison smirked and headed down the hall. Ellie and Derek burst in to laughter at the look on George's face.

George made a face. "I hate when you do shit like that!"

* * *

Addison slowly lifted Madison from the crib. Even after years of holding babies, holding her best friends sleeping child made her nervous. She wondered if she would feel this way with her own, if she and Derek ever had one. 

"Hey." Ellie came in to the room, smiling.

"Hi." Addison went to hand Madison to Ellie, who shook her head.

"It's okay, Add. You can hold her." Ellie slid past Addison and in to the back of the closet, grabbing a different shirt.

"What happened?"

"Derek thought it would be funny to throw pancake batter at me." Ellie said, shedding her grey long sleeved t-shirt and pulling on a black sweater. "Luckily, all the cooking is now done."

"He actually let you cook?"

"He fake let me cook." Addison laughed and Ellie leaned against the wall. "Addie, last night…I was serious. You were right. I need help." Addison smiled, and went to say something, but was interrupted by a wave of nausea. "Add…are you okay?" Addison handed Madison to Ellie and raced in to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet before emptying her stomach.

"Addie?" Derek came in to the hall, standing outside the shut bathroom door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said, leaning against the wall.

"Here." Ellie handed Madison to George. "You guys eat; I'll make sure she's okay."

"But…"

"Derek. It's okay." He nodded and went in to the kitchen with George. "Honey…can I come in?" All Ellie got was a groan in response, so she took that as a yes and walked in to the bathroom. "Addison…"

"Oh my God. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Shit."

"Add…are you sick? Like did you eat something? Or is this what I think it is?" Addison raised her eyebrows. "Add…"

"I don't want to get Dereks hopes up. Please don't…" Addison didn't even finish her sentence before she was throwing up again, Ellie holding her hair back. Ellie tied Addisons hair back and left the bathroom briefly to get a glass of water, barely acknowledging Derek and George once she was in the kitchen.

"Drink this." Ellie said, handing the glass to Addison and shutting the bathroom door. "I won't say anything, but…are you sure?"

"No. I'm not sure. Can you…I…"

"I'll get you a test. Just chill here, okay?" Addison nodded. "I'll be back soon. There's a drug store close." Ellie sighed. "Derek's going to want to come in here…"

"Tell him that I don't know what's wrong, that you're going to pick me up stuff for my stomach…and he can come in if he wants but I don't want him to get sick."

"Wow. Did you have this planned or something?"

"Ellie…"

"Okay, sorry." Ellie smiled. "I'll be back." Ellie left the bathroom, shutting the door just as Addison began throwing up again, although there wasn't much left to throw up.

"Is she okay?" Derek asked, standing up.

"I think so. She doesn't really know what's going on, so I'm going to go get her some stuff for her stomach." Ellie slid shoes on and grabbed her purse from the counter. "You can go in there, but she said she doesn't want to get you sick…so it's up to you." Derek flew past Ellie and in to the bathroom, shutting the door. "Right. Knew that was going to happen."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Ellie kissed George softly on the lips and then placed a kiss on Madisons forehead. "No. It's only like a block to a drugstore. Just…watch them, okay? Derek can get really overprotective, and then Addison will flip out…so just…watch them."

George nodded. "Okay." Ellie left the apartment quickly, wanting to get to the drugstore and back before Addison ripped Derek apart.

* * *

As Ellie entered the apartment, Derek flew out past her, Madison clutched to his chest. 

"What is he doing?" She asked George. "Is he stealing my child?"

George laughed. "No. We're just going to get out of here for a little, and we figured that we'd take Madison with us." Ellie opened her mouth to protest but George shook his head. "Addison seems pretty sick, and I don't want Madison to get sick."

Ellie nodded. As much as she wanted to protest, she couldn't. "Okay. Did they get in an argument?" George nodded. "Of course they did. Okay…give me a call later, and the four of us will meet for lunch." George raised his eyebrows. "You know, if Addie's feeling better."

George nodded warily. "Right. Okay." George kissed her softly, and smiled. "I'll call you." George left, and Ellie went in to the bathroom, finding Addison leaning against the wall.

"Did you not move at all in the last twenty minutes?"

"Do not give me shit, Eliot. I feel like crap."

"You wanted to be pregnant."

"We don't know that I'm pregnant." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Did you get the test?"

"No, I bought cigarettes and chewing gum instead." Addison stared. "Of course I got the test, Addie. Did you snap at Derek?"

"He was being overprotective."

"He's Derek!" Addison shrugged and Ellie tossed the bag at her. "It's in there. Let me know. Oh…and they left, by the way."

"Good." Addison said, sighing as Ellie left the bathroom. She had been so positive that she had wanted this, but now she wasn't so sure.

* * *

Ellie flipped channels on the TV, knowing that if Addison had taken the test, the results were in. It had been almost twenty minutes, and Ellie knew that it didn't take that long. She'd taken a pregnancy test before. Just as Ellie landed on a _Friends_ rerun, Addison came out of the bathroom, the brown paper bag in her hand. 

"Did you take it?" Addison nodded. "Well?" Addison tossed the bag at Ellie, who looked inside. "Oh my God."

"I'm scared." Addison said, her voice coming out low and throaty. "I'm so scared."

Ellie grinned. "Addison, there's nothing to be scared about. You have a husband who loves you…and you want this, right?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah, I do." Addison smiled. "I really do."

"This is fantastic!" Ellie wrapped Addison in a hug. "Addie…you're excited, right?"

Addison took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Addison and Ellie walked in to Tuscan Square, one of their favorite places to eat, and spotted the boys right away. Addison was grinning profusely, and Ellie smiled as George stood and handed Madison to her.

"You feeling better?" Derek asked, standing slowly.

"Much." Addison said, pulling her husband in to a hug. "So much."

"Addison what's going on?" Ellie turned to face Addison and Derek, one hand holding Madison to her chest and the other holding George's hand, as Addison smiled. "Addie…?"

"Remember that conversation we had on your birthday?"

Derek smirked. "Which part?"

"Derek…"

"Yeah, Addie, I remember."

Addison looked at Ellie and smiled and then turned back to Derek. "How soon were you thinking?"

"For a baby?" Addison nodded. "Gosh…Addie, I don't know. Why?"

Addison stared. "How are you this dense? Jesus, Derek…"

Derek's eyes widened. "Wait…are you…?" Addison nodded. "Are you sure?" Addison nodded, grinning. Derek's shocked looked turned in to an ear-to-ear grin and he pulled Addison in to a hug, spinning her around. "Oh my God! I'm going to be a Dad?" Addison nodded, her smile getting wider. "Seriously?"

"Yes, Derek." She said, laughing. "You're going to be a Dad." Derek leaned in and kissed Addison, cupping her face in his hands.

"Is that what this morning was about?" George asked.

Ellie turned to face him. "Yeah. Addison wasn't sure, but I got a pregnancy test." George smiled. "I'm really excited for them."

George nodded. "Yeah. Here." George took Madison from Ellie, sitting down at the table. "I'll hold on to her for a while."

Ellie looked at him strangely. "Uh…okay…" Ellie sat down at the table as Addison and Derek finally broke apart.

"Is this what was going on this morning?" Derek asked, sitting down next to Ellie.

"Yeah. Morning sickness…and I wasn't sure…so Ellie went and got the test." Ellie jolted out of her trance as Addison said her name.

"What?"

Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Nothing. Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Ellie glanced at George, who was letting Madison grip his forefinger. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Addison shrugged. "Okay." Derek was gripping Addisons hand, and he couldn't get a smile of his face. "Honey, you're scaring the other people in the restaurant. You have to stop smiling like that."

"Why?" Derek asked. "I'm happy." Addison took a shaky breath and smiled as the waiter came up to the table. Once they had all ordered their drinks, Addison and Derek began talking about what they were going to do with the house, and Ellie watched George with Madison. Something was obviously going on.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie placed her head on the pillow next to George's after putting Madison down for the night.

"George?" He turned to face her, a grim look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, managing a very fake smile.

"George…"

"I'm fine, Ellie."

Ellie sighed and sat up. "Don't lie to me. Please."

George took a deep breath. "You're not going to like it very much."

"Who cares?" Ellie said, pulling her knees to her chest. "Just tell me."

George sat up. "I want to adopt Madison."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

He nodded. "I love you Ellie. And I love Madison. And finding out that Derek and Addison are getting the child that they've always wanted makes me want one. And I want my child to be your child." Ellie looked down. "I was hoping you would consider it."

"George, I…I don't know that I'm ready for that yet."

"Why not?" Ellie shrugged. "Where is she going to go while you're in rehab?"

"Rehab?" Ellie snapped. "Is that why you and Derek are here? To help Addison ship me off to rehab?"

"No. That came out wrong. I meant that you need help. You said it yourself. And when you're getting that help, where is Madison going to go? To the Shepherds?"

"I don't know, George! I hadn't really thought about it."

"Maybe you should. Maybe if I adopted Madison…"

"What if I don't want you to adopt her?"

"Why not?"

"Because…I don't want you to feel obligated to stay with me if you've adopted her…"

"I want to stay with you, Ellie…what makes you think…?"

"I'm a drunk George. I'm Ellis Grey…hell, I'm Meredith! Actually, maybe you should adopt her, because then when the court realizes that I'm a drunk, she'll have somewhere to go." Ellie stood and left the bedroom, George on her heels.

"Eliot, wait. Do not walk away from me."

"Why shouldn't I? It's better for you."

"Don't say that." George made eye contact with Derek, who was sitting on the couch with Addison, and pulled Ellie in to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" She asked, wrenching free of his grip. George shut the bathroom door and turned on the shower. "George…"

"We're not going to have this argument in front of your best friend and her husband. Not today."

"Not today?" Ellie asked, leaning against the wall.

"They're happy, Ellie. I don't want to ruin that for them, and I know you don't either."

"Sure I do. Addison ruins everything herself anyway."

"You don't mean that."

"The hell I don't." Ellie snapped. "She can't ever be happy. Nothing's ever good enough."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's not enough that I admitted that I have a problem. Now she has to call you here so that I break down, and then she's going to send me to rehab? I don't fucking need rehab, George!"

"I told you that came out wrong! Addison's not sending you anywhere."

"You're damn right she's not. Because I'm staying here."

George froze. "What?"

"Yeah. I'm not going back to Seattle." Ellie shrugged. "Sorry." She squeezed past George, pulling the door open and storming out in to the living room. Addison and Derek were still sitting on the couch, trying to ignore what was going on.

"Ellie…wait…"

"No." Ellie pulled on one of her jackets and grabbed her purse from the table after slipping on shoes.

"Eliot." Derek stood, finally getting involved.

"Don't talk to me." Ellie turned to him, taking a deep breath. "I'm in a shitty place. If you talk to me I'm going to say something horrible, and I can't do that to you. Not today." Ellie walked out the front door, and George raced out behind her.

"Ellie…"

"Leave me alone, George." George froze at the top of the stairs, and then spun on his heels and went back in to the apartment, making his way to the window near the fire escape.

"George…" He waved Addison off and climbed out the window, making his way down the fire escape and landing right in front of Ellie.

"Please, wait. Let me take you somewhere…to a hotel or something. Addison and Derek can watch Madison…it'll give you a chance to cool off, get away from them…"

"They aren't what's pissing me off George."

George raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Ever since this afternoon, you've been acting all strange. You wont talk to me, or tell me anything…you're starting to remind me of Mark, and I don't want to see that in you." George looked pained. "I need to get away from everyone for a little, okay? I just…I'm sorry." Ellie walked around him, heading down the street, and George watched her walk away, knowing that going after her could only make things worse.

**Okay. I know I ended it at a weird place, but that's where it stopped. Hope you guys liked it!**

**Mel.**


	32. The Dress Looks Nice on You

**Hehe. I love this story. You love this story. We all scream for this story. I haven't been this big of a fan of one of my own stories since…forever. But this one makes all the Addek-less days of _Grey's_ worth it for me. Lol.**

**Chapter Title: "The Dress Looks Nice on You" by Sufjan Stevens**

**Half Love**

"**The Dress Looks Nice on You"**

_I can see a lot of life in you.  
I can see a lot of bright in you.  
And I think the __dress__ looks __nice__ on you.  
I can see a lot of life in you.  
I can see a __bed__ and make it too.  
I can see a fireside turn blue.  
And I can see the lot of life in you.  
Yes, I can see a lot of life in you. – _

"_The Dress Looks Nice on You"_

_By Sufjan Stevens_

**April 2nd, 2006**

**11:00 P.M.**

Addison breathed a sigh of relief as the front door slammed. Ellie had been gone for six hours, and George had seriously considered calling the police. Addison was pretty sure that he was now asleep, and she knew Derek was asleep, but she couldn't sleep. She'd been sitting in bed, half reading, and half listening for the door. She just wanted Ellie to be okay. Addison slid softly out of bed, careful not to wake Derek, and walked out in to the hall. As she reached the living room, she saw Ellie sitting on the couch, tears on her face.

"El…?"

"I didn't have anything to drink, if that's what you're going to ask." Ellie snapped, folding her arms over her chest.

"I was going to ask if you were okay." Addison said, sitting down next to Ellie. "Where did you go?"

Ellie looked down. "I went to Mark." Addison raised her eyebrows. "I didn't sleep with him, if that's what that look means."

"No…I didn't think that. I just wanted to know why."

"Because I didn't have anywhere else to go." Ellie said, shrugging. "It's not like he understands anymore than you, but I didn't really know where else to go." Ellie took a deep breath. "Actually, first I visited Kate."

"My Kate?" Addison asked, raising her eyebrows. Ellie nodded. "Why?"

Ellie shrugged. "Because I wanted to. Mark was there."

Addison gasped. "Really?"

Ellie nodded. "We came to the conclusion that the four of being so attached to that little girl was what caused everything." Ellie turned to Addison. "Not her dying…we're not blaming Kate for what happened…"

"I know."

"We were just all so attached and when she died…it killed you and Derek, which killed Mark and I…and then everything fell apart."

Addison nodded. "Yeah, everything did fall apart after Kate died…" Addison took a deep breath. "What else?"

Ellie cringed. "I hate when you do that." Addison let out a small laugh. "I'm worried. I don't want something to happen to Madison and have George and I completely fall apart…it's why I'm so reluctant to let him adopt her."

"Honey, I get that, but George loves you. And he loves Madison. So he wants to adopt her."

Ellie took a deep breath. "How much of our argument did you hear?"

"Everything from the time you came out in to the hall to the time you left." Ellie stared. "Turning on the shower doesn't cover anything."

Ellie nodded. "I know. He turned it on." Ellie looked down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said about you…I was upset."

"About me?" Ellie looked panicked. "Oh, the…how I always ruin everything and nothing's ever good enough?" Ellie nodded. "It's okay. You weren't wrong. I'm too much of a perfectionist…but I would never send you to rehab, El."

"I know. I…George accidentally said rehab and I overreacted. A lot."

"Yeah, really?" Ellie glared. "Sorry." Addison said, giggling. "You did kind of freak out though."

"Well who the hell wants to go to rehab?"

"No one is sending you to rehab. AA maybe, but not rehab, El." Ellie nodded, looked down, and promptly burst in to tears. "Ellie…"

"I'm scared, Addie. I'm scared that I won't be able to fix this. And I'm scared that George is going to realize how screwed up I am, and he won't want to be with me…"

"George already knows how screwed up you are." George leaned against the wall across from the couch and took a deep breath. "And he still wants to be with you." Ellie stared at him, tears streaming down her face, her breaths shaky. Addison rose from the couch slowly, walking back towards the bedroom. As she reached for the door handle, she turned back to the living room, and saw George sitting next to Ellie on the couch, holding her to him, running his fingers through her blonde hair. Addison smiled to herself and went back in to the bedroom, curling up next to Derek as she placed her head on the pillow.

Derek mumbled something but all Addison caught was, "okay?"

"Yeah, Derek. Everything's okay." Derek wrapped an arm lightly around her waist, resting his hand on her lower stomach.

"I love you." He mumbled, sincere as ever.

"I love you too."

* * *

**April 5th, 2006**

**3:00 P.M.**

Meredith paced the baggage claim of the Seattle airport impatiently. George had called and asked her to come pick them up, and she wasn't too excited. Izzie was waiting in George's car out in the parking lot, and Meredith was holding the keys to her own. Four people were coming off that flight, and Meredith was not ready to be in close quarters with the Shepherds. Not yet. Meredith watched as her sister, George, and the Shepherds came in to baggage claim. Ellie smiled as soon as she saw Meredith.

"Hi." Meredith said, jumping in surprise as Ellie wrapped her in a hug. "How ya doing?"

Ellie smiled. "Good. You?"

"Fine." Meredith looked from her sister to George to the Shepherds. "What's going on?"

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked, smiling.

Meredith stared. "I know I'm out of the loop, but I'm not stupid. You four are hiding something."

Addison shook her head. "We're not hiding anything." She smiled. "We're just glad to be back." Meredith looked at her skeptically. "Really."

Meredith sighed. "Okay. Well, Izzie's waiting in the parking lot, so we should get your bags and go." Meredith followed George and Derek to baggage claim, but she couldn't help but notice that Ellie and Addison lagged behind, whispering about something. And Meredith was going to find out what the hell they were talking about if it killed her.

* * *

This was not what she had planned. The point of bringing two cars was so that Addison and Derek could ride with Izzie and Meredith could avoid talking to either one of them. Meredith had wanted Ellie and George in her car, not Derek and George. But she should have figured this would happen. Izzie was friends with her sister, and by default, becoming friends with Addison. And the minute Izzie had gotten out of George's car, Ellie was tossing her and Addison's bags in the back and whispering tidbits of something to Izzie. It was all Meredith could do not to cringe. She was fuming inside. How could Izzie? Some friend. 

"Meredith?" Meredith jolted out of her thoughts and turned to George, who was sitting next to her. "You okay?"

"Uh…yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't take it personally." Derek said as they followed Izzie out of the parking lot. "Even though we've been in New York with them for the last couple of days, they kind of ignored us. They act like they're 16 sometimes." Meredith stared out the front window, watching as Ellie leaned towards the front seats where Addison and Izzie were.

"It's not that Ellie's not glad to see you. She and Addison were in the middle of some stuff, and I'm sure she just didn't want to make it uncomfortable for you." Meredith snapped her head around at George and stared at him. "More uncomfortable." Meredith sighed and pulled up to the window to pay for parking, handing her ticket and a twenty to the attendant.

"It's paid for, ma'm. The car ahead of you paid for it." Meredith raised her eyebrows. "It's taken care of."

"Oh." Meredith took the twenty back and shoved it in her purse. "Thanks." The attendant nodded and raised the blockade, letting Meredith out of the parking structure. She was still pissed.

* * *

"You think Meredith's upset?" Ellie asked, glancing back at her sisters car. 

"About what?" Izzie asked, getting on to the highway.

"Well…my guess is that her intention with the two cars was for George and I to be with her…"

"She'll get over it." Izzie said, grinning. "She's not twelve." Ellie raised her eyebrows. "All the time." Ellie and Addison laughed and Izzie switched lanes, losing Meredith in the traffic. "So what is this big news?" Ellie grinned and looked at Addison.

"I have to tell her?" Addison asked, her eyebrows raised.

"It's your news." Ellie said. "So yes."

"Okay." Addison took a deep breath. "I went to the hospital yesterday and got a blood test." Izzie stared.

"Good start, Addie." Ellie said, leaning back in to the seat, laughing at the look on Izzie's face.

"This is good news, right?"

Addison laughed. "Yes. Uh. We got the results this morning. Confirmed for the second time in the last four days…I'm pregnant."

"Really?" Izzie squealed, a smile on her face. "Oh my gosh! That's fantastic!" Addison smiled. "Can I help?"

"Help?" Ellie and Addison asked in unison, confused looks on their faces.

"I meant liked with picking out stuff for the baby…I love doing that kind of stuff." Izzie said, grinning.

Ellie laughed. "Yeah." Izzie smiled. "That would be fantastic. Especially since Addison will probably get really cranky and…"

"Do not finish that." Addison snapped, turning around in the seat. "We don't have any idea what I'm like pregnant, so no assumptions."

Ellie giggled. "Okay."

Izzie looked at Addison, confused. "I thought that you and Derek had a child…"

"Adopted." Addison said. "We adopted Kate."

Izzie nodded. "Right. Okay, I think I knew that. Sorry, I…"

"No, it's okay." Addison smiled. "You're allowed to ask questions, Izzie."

Izzie smiled. "Well, have you celebrated yet?" Addison cocked one eyebrow. "Like, you know, girls night kind of a thing?"

Addison shook her head. "No…"

"Do you want to?" Addison shrugged. "It would be sans alcohol for you, obviously…"

"And me." Ellie said, her voice cracking.

"Why?" Izzie asked. "If you don't mind me asking…"

"I, uh…"

"My friends mother didn't drink when her best friend was pregnant as a form of support…is that what you're doing?"

Ellie and Addison looked at each other and simultaneously nodded. "Yes."

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

"Where am I supposed to go, Izzie?"

"It's not like you can't stay. It's your sister…"

"And her best friend. Who is married to my ex-boyfriend. Not my ideal girls night, Iz."

"Meredith, you know Ellie would want you to stay…"

"This is my house, Izzie! It's not happening here. Sorry, but no."

"Meredith…"

Meredith shook her head. "I'm not being unreasonable." Meredith shrugged as she headed up the stairs. "Sorry." As Meredith disappeared in to her room, the front door opened and Ellie came in to the house.

"Everything okay?"

Izzie shook her head. "No."

Ellie nodded. "I figured it might not be. I've already got a back-up plan. Get your stuff, we're going to the Shepherds." Izzie nodded and went up the stairs to her own room while Ellie went in to Merediths. "Hi."

"You're not going to persuade me in to letting you guys do this thing here."

"I wasn't trying to." Ellie said, leaning against the doorway. "I was just going to say thanks for picking us up this afternoon, and uh…we'll be at the Shepherds, so if you get drunk enough to crash it, come on by."

Meredith glared. "Is there a reason you find it so entertaining to be rude?"

"How many times have I told you that Addison is my family?" Meredith shrugged. "You want to be part of my family? Grow up." Ellie left, slamming Merediths bedroom door. Meredith stood at her window, watching Ellie and Izzie drive away, and then left. Maybe she would get drunk enough to crash. It's not like she had anything better to do.

* * *

Derek held his wife in a hug, one hand low on her stomach. Her head was rested in his shoulder as she sobbed. 

"Addie…"

"I'm trying so hard to get your family to like me again. And now this?"

"Add…they're upset. They're entitled."

"I never said they weren't." Addison stepped back. "But…"

"What they said was uncalled for, I agree. I never expected my sister to snap at you with, 'you're just pregnant to get him to stay with you'. Especially since she knows you…"

Addison took a deep breath. "Whatever. Forget it. You know it isn't true…right?"

"Oh God, Addie. Of course I do. I would never think that." Derek kissed his wifes forehead. "Are you sure you want to go to Meredith's tonight? I mean…"

Addison nodded. "Yes. I want to spend time with Ellie…and Izzie…even if Meredith is there." The couple was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. "She's here."

Derek smiled. "Okay." Derek let go of Addison and went out in to the main room, opening the front door. "Hi…"

"Okay, yes, I was supposed to pick up Addison, but my sister is being a baby." Ellie said, shifting the bag on her shoulder and glancing at Izzie. "So we're invading. Here." Ellie handed him a set of keys and grinned. "George is already staying at the trailer with Madison…you can join him."

"I can? So I like have a choice?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're going to join him. Get it?"

"Got it."

"Good." Ellie said, getting a giggle from Izzie and an eye-roll from Derek. "Are you going to make us stand out here or can we come in?"

"Oh." Derek opened the door wider and stepped aside. "Sorry." Ellie and Izzie came in to the house just as Addison came out of the kitchen, her own bag over her shoulder.

"Uh…"

"My sister is being a baby. So we're invading."

"And kicking me out." Derek said, leaning against the now closed door. "Now how is that fair? This is my house."

"This is my house." Ellie said. "You're renting it from me."

Derek scrunched his nose and headed up the stairs to the bedroom. "Damn it."

"The only problem is that there's no food here…and no good movies." Addison said, sighing. "We haven't finished unpacking yet."

Ellie pointed to Izzie. "She's going to take over your kitchen, if that's okay, and I brought movies." Addison smiled and nodded and Izzie went past Addison in to the kitchen. "What the hell happened?"

"Huh?"

"When Izzie and I dropped you off earlier, you were fine. What's wrong?"

"We called Derek's family." Ellie stared. "We told them about the baby."

"Oh…they reacted badly, didn't they?"

"Janie said that I was pregnant to get him to stay with me…" Addison spat out, tears forming in her eyes. "As if I would ever do that."

"I never liked her." Ellie hissed, not noticing that Derek had come down the stairs.

"She never liked you either." He said, coming up to Addison and Ellie and putting his arm around Addison, letting her bag slid to the floor. "The rest of my family loves you, but Janie…she's being the protective older sister."

"Well I don't like her." Ellie said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Especially not when she says shit like that."

"Can we drop this please?" Addison whispered, sighing. "I don't really want to talk about it."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Conversation over." Ellie set her bag down by the stairs and went in to the kitchen, giving Addison a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

"Are you going to be okay?" Derek asked, staring deep in to Addisons eyes.

"Yes. Are you? You're going to be spending the whole night in the trailer with George and a baby."

Derek laughed. "I'll be fine. After all, I might as well get used to it." Derek leaned down and lifted the shirt Addison was wearing, placing a kiss on her lower stomach. Addison smiled as he stood and kissed her softly on the lips, gave her a reassuring smile and left the house, his bag slung over his shoulder. Addison locked the door behind him and then went in to the kitchen, where Izzie had already spread out whatever it was she needed for baking.

"Jeez." Addison said, leaning against the counter. "Got enough stuff?"

Izzie laughed. "I haven't even started yet." Addison looked at Ellie, who nodded, and then sat down on the counter, leaning in to the cabinets. "Are you okay with this?" Izzie asked, turning to Addison.

"Yeah." Addison said, grinning. "Why not?"

* * *

Just over an hour later, all three women were covered in flour, and Izzie's second batch of cupcakes was in the oven. 

"Okay, so I haven't had this much fun since…" Addison looked at Ellie. "I don't even know when."

"Me neither." Ellie said, wiping flour off of her face. "We used to do stuff like this all the time, but it's been a really long time."

"Glad I could help." Izzie said, grinning.

"What movies did you bring, El?" Addison asked, wiping flour off of her jeans and shedding the shirt she was wearing, revealing a wife-beater that was probably Dereks.

"Only the best ones." Ellie grinned. Addison rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna change?"

"Yeah." Addison said, tossing the shirt in to the laundry room that was off of the kitchen. "I'll be back." Ellie nodded and Addison headed up the stairs.

"I don't think I've ever seen this side of her." Izzie said, readjusting the ponytail her hair was in. Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "I just…she's normally so…"

"Anal?" Izzie laughed. "Not the word you were going for?"

"Not exactly."

"Addison is different when she's not at the hospital. It takes time for her to be comfortable around people, and even if she acts like she doesn't care, she cares when people don't like her. Like when you didn't speak to her."

Izzie cringed. "She told you about that?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. She was just trying to be your teacher, and she hurt you in the process. That was never her intent."

Izzie nodded. "I know." Izzie watched as Ellie reached in to her bag and pulled out a green sweatshirt, shedding her own black sweater and pulling the sweatshirt on. "Is that George's?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah."

"You know, George is my best friend, and…"

"Izzie." Izzie stopped mid-sentence. "I'm not going to hurt him." Izzie smiled and bit in to a cupcake as Ellie rifled through her bag and pulled out a stack of movies. "I had a great guy once before, and I ignored him. And he retaliated by sleeping with Addison." Neither woman noticed that Addison had come down the stairs, now in one of Dereks flannel shirts. "I hurt him, so he hurt me. I learned from that, Izzie." Izzie nodded, having now noticed Addison. "I'm not going to hurt George like that."

"Well, no offense or anything, but I'd never sleep with George." Ellie jumped at the sound of Addisons voice.

Izzie laughed. "I just…George had a thing for someone that ignored him for a long time, and he was pretty broken. You fixed him…and I don't want him to get broken again."

"Who are we talking about here?" Ellie asked, snagging a cupcake and going in to the living room. "The nurse?"

"No." Izzie said, shaking her head. She had no idea what she was about to do. "Meredith."

Addison and Ellie looked at each other. Ellie was shocked, so Addison spoke. "George was interested in Meredith?"

"Yeah." Izzie said. Ellie's face paled and she set the movies down on the coffee table and slumped on the couch.

"El…" Addison sat down next to her and Izzie's eyes widened.

"You didn't know?" Ellie shook her head. "I thought he would have told you."

"No. He skipped that fact." Ellie said, her voice raspy. "Well, at least he has a back-up plan." Ellie snapped, glancing at Addison and then looking down.

"Ellie…George does not have a back-up plan."

"No. He should. After all, he's going to need someone to pick up the pieces when I fall off the wagon and start drinking again."

"Ellie…" Addison looked pained for her friend, and Izzie looked panic-stricken.

"No, it's okay. Let's just watch a movie, okay? I'm fine." Addison nodded and handed the first movie to Izzie, who glanced at it and popped it in. It wasn't long before Addison and Izzie were engrossed in _Pretty in Pink_, but Ellie couldn't concentrate. George, in love with Meredith? Ellie slipped away, heading on to the front porch, and leaned against the front door, taking slow breaths. Soon she began to laugh. It was absurd. She and Meredith were so different…there was no way he fell in love with her because of Meredith.

Was there?


	33. To Make You Feel My Love

**Half Love**

"**To Make You Feel My Love"**

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong  
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love – _

"_To Make You Feel My Love"_

_By Garth Brooks_

**April 5th, 2006**

**12:00 P.M.**

All morning. Ellie had been avoiding him all morning. He didn't understand. She had barely acknowledged him when he kissed her on the cheek and told her that he'd taken Madison to the daycare. She dove around the corner every time he tried to get her attention. Addison wasn't talking to him either. Izzie wouldn't make eye contact with him, and by noon, he was getting fed up.

"What the hell happened last night?" He asked, yanking both Izzie and Addison in to an on-call room.

"Nothing." Addison said, shrugging. "Don't you have patients?"

"Not until one of you tells me why Ellie won't talk to me."

Izzie sighed. "I didn't realize that you hadn't told her about Meredith."

"About Meredith…?" George gasped. "What the hell did you say?"

"I…uh…" Izzie looked down. "I said that you were interested in someone that ignored you for a while, and…"

"Damn it, Izzie!" George flew out of the on-call room, running directly in to Meredith.

"You alright?"

"No. Izzie opened her mouth and Ellie's mad at me."

"Why?"

George shook his head. "It's not important. Do you know where she is?"

"Uh…I think she had a meeting with Richard." Meredith shrugged. "But I'm not sure."

"Thanks." Meredith nodded and watched him head down the hall as Izzie and Addison came out of the on-call room.

"Oh good. I was looking for you." Meredith said, looking at Addison. "I was sent to make sure you were okay." Addison raised her eyebrows. "Derek asked me to check."

"Oh." Addison smiled. "I'm fine."

Meredith nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "What's going on? George is acting strange, Derek is acting strange…"

Addison cleared her throat. "Well you might as well know. I…uh…I'm pregnant."

Meredith nodded slowly. "Congratulations." She managed a weak smile and headed down the hall, staring down at the floor.

"That went well." Izzie said, watching Meredith.

"I guess." Addison took a deep breath. "I have patients to check on. Let me know if Ellie and George get in to an argument."

Izzie nodded. "Yeah, sure." Izzie headed down the hall and up the stairwell towards Richards office. She wasn't really sure if she wanted to witness this fight.

* * *

"So…are you okay with this?" 

"With going to AA?" Ellie asked, leaning in to the chair. Richard nodded. "I guess I have to be, don't I?"

"Ellie, the first step is admitting that you have the problem. You've already done that." Ellie sighed. "This will be good for you."

"But I like alcohol." She whined, half grinning.

"So do I." Richard said, smiling. "But too much alcohol isn't good." Ellie stared at him. "Okay, so that was an obvious statement, but really, Eliot…as much as you like it…it'll hurt you. I would know."

"Do you mind if I ask why you turned to alcohol?"

Richard took a deep breath. "I'm not sure I'm ready to tell you that yet."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. I respect that. I just thought I'd ask."

"Do you want someone else to come?" Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Like George or Addison?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I don't really want either of them there."

"I thought New York was good for you and Addison."

"Oh. Addison and I are fine. It's just…I think it would be a little uncomfortable for both of us." Ellie looked down. "Same with George."

"What about Derek?"

Ellie shook her head. "I don't think so. As long as you're okay with it being just you and I, then I'm okay with it."

Richard nodded. "Okay. The meeting is at 7…"

"I'll just meet you up here." Richard nodded and Ellie smiled, leaving the room and running in to George. "God. What?"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I don't know George. Why are you dating me?"

"What? Because I like you…Ellie, I love you, you know that."

"Yeah? You're sure it's not just convenient because I remind you of Meredith?"

George grabbed her arm and pulled her in to an empty room. "What the hell did Izzie tell you?"

"She said I fixed you. She said that Meredith ignored you for so long that she broke you, and I fixed you. What does that mean?"

George sighed. "Izzie doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. Meredith did not break me. Yes, okay, I was interested in your sister, but that has zero affect on my interest in you. What drew me to you is how opposite you are. I love everything about you. I love the way you dress in skirts and heels that make you look hot, but you look sexier in scrubs. I love that you hate it when other people run their fingers through their hair, but you do it all the time. I love that you hate Addison half the time but you're still her best friend. I love that you have no problem yelling at me when I've made a mistake. I love that you adopted a little girl. I love that you gave up your house and moved in to the trailer so that Addison and Derek wouldn't kill each other. I love that you love that trailer." Ellie laughed, tears in her eyes. "I could go on forever, Ellie. And I will if you want me to. But you need to know…I love you. So much. And the fact that I was interested in Meredith is just that. A fact that's part of my past. But that's all it is, El. Past."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I didn't want you to freak out." Ellie stared. "I know, I know. You were going to freak out no matter what, but…there's a lot going on for you now, and I didn't feel like telling you about Meredith was necessary."

Ellie sighed. "Okay."

"I just wish Izzie hadn't spilled the beans. It's not like I wasn't going to eventually tell you."

"She didn't know that you hadn't told me." Ellie took a deep breath. "I just didn't know what to think."

"All you need to remember is that I love you." George said, softly planting a kiss on Ellie's lips. "Okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

"Richard!" An older woman came up to Ellie and Richard and smiled. "It's so good to see you."

"You too." He said. "Mallory, this is Eliot. Tonight is her first meeting."

The woman smiled. "Welcome Eliot."

"Ellie. You can call me Ellie." The woman nodded. "And Thank You." Mallory left Richard and Ellie alone and Ellie let out a long sigh. "I'm scared, Richard."

"There's nothing to be afraid of. It's going to be fine." Ellie looked around the room. There weren't a lot of people there, it was relatively small, and that Ellie was grateful for.

"Alright, let's get started." An older man caught everyone's attention. The small group sat down in chairs and he cleared his throat. "My name is Andrew. Do we have any new members here tonight?" Richard nudged Ellie and it was all she could do not to yelp as she stood.

"My name is Eliot…" Ellie took a deep breath. "And I'm an alcoholic." Ellie looked at Richard, who nodded for her to continue. She took a deep breath. "Just over a year ago, my best friend found his wife, my other best friend, in bed with my boyfriend the night before their tenth anniversary. My best friend and I spent the next two weeks deep in a drunken stupor, because we weren't sure what else to do. When he left New York for Seattle a few months later, I drank more, because I'd lost the only person in my life." Ellie took a deep breath, barely acknowledging the fact that she was crying. "When he got to Seattle, he ended up dating my sister for a few months, and during that time, my other best friend, his wife, and I patched things up." Ellie scoffed. "Sort of. When she followed him here, I got worse. I felt alone, and I didn't know what to do, so I drowned myself in alcohol. In early January, I got so drunk one night that I slept with my ex…the one that cheated on me with my best friend. A few weeks later, my best friend called and asked me to come to Seattle for something. So I did. And I immediately realized that I was pregnant." Ellie took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She had no idea that this was going to be this hard. "When my ex showed up, he and I got in a fight, and I ended up losing the baby…although we were never entirely positive if that was from the way I landed when he hit me or if the baby wasn't meant to be all along. After that, things started to go uphill. My best friends and I were back on track, I started dating a great guy, and then I adopted a little girl. Everything seemed fine, but every time I was anywhere where there was alcohol, I got smashed. Even my boyfriend began to mention that there was something wrong. My best friend and I couldn't seem to get along, and even though my best friends were back together, my sister was still infatuated with my guy best friend, and she couldn't accept the fact that I'm best friends with his wife. So she and I stopped getting along, and then my best friend and I couldn't stop arguing…it was disastrous. Not to mention, I've had nightmares ever since my father died in a car accident that I caused when I was 16, and the only thing that seemed to make them go away was alcohol. I tried to deny that I had a problem, and I went back to New York for a while, and it wasn't until I was up at four in the morning, raiding my kitchen cabinets for alcohol that I knew wasn't going to be there, that I realized that I had a huge problem." Ellie took a deep shaky breath and felt Richard squeeze her hand. "I never thought I would have this problem. I'm thirty years old…this isn't something I wanted." Ellie sat down, leaning back in the chair.

"No one wants this, honey." Mallory said, leaning towards her. "It just happens."

"The good part is that you're here." Andrew said, smiling. "Because we can help." Andrew cleared his throat. "Do you mind if I ask who got you to come?"

Ellie smiled. "Richard. Not directly, but through my best friends and my boyfriend…it was Richard." Andrew smiled. "If it weren't for him and Addison…I don't know where I would be. Probably still in New York."

"Addison is your best friend?" Mallory asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Addison's my best friend."

**I know. It's short. Whatever.**


	34. Countdown

**Half Love**

"**Countdown"**

_Trailer red like the sea  
Well I'm the son of a crowded bed  
Find your love's gonna count for me  
Your love that breaths, breeds  
Gonna paste up our damn heads  
Gonna drop, gonna drop, gonna count for me  
__Your love that breaths, breeds  
Your love that's catchin' the breeze.  
Son of a crowded bed  
Son of a cloudy night  
Well find your love's gonna count for me, your love's gonna count for me  
We'll count down – _

"_Countdown"_

_By the Yeah Yeah Yeahs_

**April 26th, 2006**

**11:00 A.M.**

_3 weeks, 5 days, 9 hours and 53 minutes._ It was true what was said about alcoholics. Recovering ones knew the exact moment of their last drink. Ellie hadn't gotten to seconds yet, but she could remember. 1:07 a.m., March 31st. Right before she called George. Right before she refused to believe that she was an alcoholic.

_3 weeks._ 3 weeks since her first AA meeting. She'd gone every week, and it was helping. She was beginning to see that alcohol didn't solve anything.

_2 weeks._ 2 weeks since Mark had called to apologize. It was 9 a.m., she remembered because it was her day off and he woke her up. And she cried. Because Mark said everything right. He apologized for everything from the way he treated her during their relationship to the way he had treated her during her most recent visit to New York. And she cried because he told her that he was in love with Addison. And she didn't tell George.

_6 days._ 6 days since she'd tried to start reading the letters from Addison again. Ellie had only gotten through 6 when they were away for the weekend…there were over 200 letters. Ellie didn't even make it through half of the seventh letter before bursting in to tears.

_Two hours._ Two hours since the on-staff nurse from the hospital daycare had called to tell Ellie that they were sending Madison down to the ER. Madison needed surgery. Ellie didn't even know why. She could probably diagnose it, and she was sure Derek had told her, but she hadn't been paying attention. She'd been freaking out.

Now her daughter was in surgery. A surgery her two best friends were performing. George was watching. Ellie couldn't. Ellie was counting. _3 weeks, 5 days, and 10 hours._ Ellie was pacing down in the basement. She'd been paged twice by George wanting to know where she was. She'd been paged twice by Izzie, who was in surgery with Addison and Derek. Ellie was afraid to respond to the pages. She wasn't sure what was going to happen.

_3 weeks, 5 days, 10 hours and 3 minutes._ Ellie slammed against the wall by the vending machines and took a deep breath. Things were going to be fine. Madison was in good hands. _3 weeks, 5 days, 10 hours, 3 minutes and 46 seconds._ Ellie needed a drink.

Adele Webber stepped in to the hallway and sighed. Normally she didn't eat food from vending machines, but she was at the hospital to see Richard, he was in a surgery, and she hated the cafeteria food, so she didn't have a lot of choice. It wasn't until Adele reached the vending machines that she realized that there was someone else down there.

"Are you a new intern, honey?" The young woman jumped.

"Uh…no." She shook her head and stood up straight. "I'm a resident. Fourth year."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I just assumed…interns tend to hide down here."

Ellie scoffed. "I'm hiding from interns…my boyfriend and his best friend have been paging me for the last twenty minutes and I just…I can't…"

Adele nodded. "You must be Eliot Grey." Ellie looked taken aback. "My husband has told me about you. I'm Adele Webber."

Ellie smiled. "Oh. Hi. It's really nice to meet you." Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "How did you know…?"

"Addison and I ran in to each other right before she went in to surgery. And George O'Malley has been coming out of that observation room paging someone every few minutes so I just sort of connected the dots…" Adele smiled. "I tend to be very perceptive that way."

Ellie laughed. "I've heard that about you."

"Is there something you need, honey?"

Ellie sighed. "A drink. But I can't have a drink." Ellie looked down. "I've had a bad day."

"Your daughter is the one Derek and Addison are operating on, correct?" Ellie nodded. "Have they told you what's going on?"

Ellie shrugged. "Probably. But I was freaking out, so I may have missed it."

"Don't you want to know?"

Ellie sat down on one of the empty gurneys. "Of course I want to know. But I can't be up there until they're done. I'll freak out."

Adele nodded. "Look, honey, is it just because of the baby?"

"Madison." Adele nodded, smiling. "I don't know. I trust Addison and Derek with everything…Addison has already saved my life once, I completely trust her with the life of my child. I just know that if I were up there I would be causing a scene trying to get in to the OR…"

Adele went to open her mouth but was interrupted by Ellie's beeper going off. Ellie snatched it from the other end of the gurney and looked at it, taking a deep breath. "Who is it?"

"Addison. The surgery is over." Ellie took a deep breath, leaning against the wall.

"Aren't you going to go upstairs?"

"I'm scared." Ellie whispered, a little surprised that she was admitting this much to a woman that she'd just met. "I'm so scared."

Adele placed one hand on Ellie's knee and smiled. "Come on, honey. Let's go." Ellie took one last deep breath and stood, following Adele to the elevator and up to the OR.

* * *

Addison paced outside the OR, waiting for Ellie to either call her or show up. Madison was fine. She'd stopped breathing, more than just apnea, but she was just fine. Derek made sure that there weren't any spinal problems while they were in there, but Madison was just fine. 

"Addie…" Ellie's voice rang out from down the hall near the elevators and Addison spun. Ellie looked pale white, and she was with Adele Webber. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, honey, she's fine." Ellie nodded as she reached where Addison was standing. "Where were you?"

Ellie took a deep breath as the tears that had been threatening for the last 40 minutes finally fell. "I couldn't watch. I was too scared. I didn't know what was going to happen." Ellie tried to take slow breaths, but it was not working. She began to shake, and Addison pulled her in to a hug. "Thank you. Thank God for you." She whispered, wrapping her arms around Addisons neck.

"Izzie took her up to the NICU if you want to see her."

Ellie stepped back. "Thank you, Addie."

"Honey, don't thank me. It's my job, and you know I'd do anything for you."

Ellie smiled. "I'm gonna go…" Addison nodded and Ellie left, heading towards the NICU.

"How is she?" Addison asked, turning to Adele.

"She's a recovering alcoholic, Addie." Addison nodded. "She's doing her best."

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

"3 weeks."

"We are not having this discussion right now."

"No, we are." Addison stepped in front of the doorway to get out of the on-call room and put her hands on her hips. "Because if we wait, you won't want to have it."

Derek sighed. "Addison…"

"I am pregnant, Derek. Not a corpse."

"Add…"

"It's been three weeks since you've touched me." Derek opened his mouth to protest but Addison put her hand up to stop him. "I don't mean like a hug or a kiss, Derek. I mean really touched me. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything…"

"Then what is it?"

Derek looked down. "Nothing."

"Liar."

"Addison…"

"Derek." He snapped his head up at the tone of her voice. She sounded pained. "We just got back to a good placed…why…what happened?"

Derek took a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you." Addison stared at him. "Or the baby."

Addison stifled a laugh and smiled. "Derek, you're not going to hurt me or the baby. I promise."

Derek sighed. "Add…"

"You realize that if you are afraid of hurting me, you're going to be without sex for nine months at least." Derek cringed. He obviously hadn't thought of that. "Baby…you will not hurt me. I can most certainly promise you that." Addison placed two fingers under Derek's chin and lifted his head so that their eyes met. "Der…" Before she could even finish his name, his lips were on hers, pressing her against the door. Addison's knees weakened at the contact. After all, it had been three weeks.

* * *

10 minutes later, Derek was racing down the hall, trying to answer the page he had just received and not leave his wife alone for too long. They'd barely gotten anywhere before his pager went off. 

"Okay, I'm here." He said, sliding in to the room. Meredith was standing next to a young woman, a grin on her face.

"Anna, this is Dr. Shepherd. Anna is showing signs of epilepsy, and her pediatrician sent her here."

Derek nodded. He wasn't generally a distracted surgeon, but all he could see was Addison, half-naked, in the on-call room. "Let me see her chart." Derek scanned it quickly and then handed it back to Meredith. "Get a CT and a blood test and then get me the results. It was nice to meet you, Anna." Derek said, smiling. "I'll see you in a bit. Dr. Grey is going to take very good care of you." Derek left the room as quickly as he had come, barely acknowledging Meredith and racing to the on-call room, only to find Addison hurriedly getting dressed. "What? No…what are you doing?"

"I got paged, Derek." He groaned, slamming his head against the upper bunk. "Derek…"

"Addison…" He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and letting her feel just how much he needed this. She moaned and he leaned his forehead against hers. "You can't go. My page said it was a 911 and it wasn't…"

"My page said 911 and it could be." Addison kissed Derek softly, igniting something in both of them that made her want to stay even more. "Later. I promise."

Derek groaned. "Later does not work. Now works."

Addison giggled. "I can't, Derek. I will make it up to you. I swear." Derek nodded slowly and Addison left the room in a hurry. Derek sat down on the bed and took a deep breath. He really needed a cold shower.

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Ellie took a drink of the coffee Adele had handed her and smiled.

"You doing alright?" Adele asked, smiling.

"I'm doing better than I was this morning." Ellie said. "I was so worried…but I'm doing much better."

Adele nodded. "Good. Do you have a meeting tonight?"

Ellie nodded. _3 weeks, 5 days, 13 hours and 5 minutes._ "Yeah, we do, but I think Richard wasn't going to go. He said it's time I tried one by myself."

"Do you think you're ready for that?"

Ellie shrugged. "How will I know?"

"How long has it been?"

"3 weeks, 5 days, 13 hours, 5 minutes and 32 seconds." Ellie looked down, embarrassed.

"Since your last drink?" Ellie nodded. "You're not ready." Ellie looked up, confused. "You're still counting. You're not ready to be by yourself yet."

"I know Richard hasn't been home a lot recently…"

"I can sacrifice Richard on one condition." Ellie nodded. "If you come back to our home for coffee when the meeting is over. I'd like to get to know you better." Ellie stared. "Any friend of the Shepherds is a friend of mine."

Ellie swallowed hard. She was sure Adele knew. "Even though I'm Ellis Grey's daughter?"

Adele smiled. "Especially since you're Ellis Grey's daughter."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. I'll be there."

Adele grinned. "Good. Finish your coffee…you have work to do still." Adele left, leaving Ellie alone in the basement. Ellie swirled the coffee around, leaning against the wall. _3 weeks, 5 days, 13 hours and 6 minutes._

"Hey." Addison slid on to the gurney next to Ellie and smiled. "How ya doing?"

Ellie shrugged. "Fine." Ellie took a gulp of the coffee and let out a deep breath. "What did you do to Derek?"

Addison laughed. "What?"

"The man looked pained for almost an hour. I know you two went to talk…what happened?"

"Nothing. That was the problem." Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "He was afraid to hurt me…we haven't had sex in three weeks." Ellie looked shocked. "I know. So I talked to him, and then we were finally making progress when he got paged."

"Oh…."

"Well, he came back, but while he was gone, I got paged. And I wouldn't blow off the page, so…"

Ellie laughed. "No wonder. He looked like he was in absolute pain."

Addison grimaced. "Shoot. And now he's in surgery." Ellie nodded. "Are you going to the meeting tonight?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah."

"Derek's got a surgery scheduled for six that'll go until almost eight. Do you mind if I come?" Ellie looked panicked. "El…"

"Uh…I…look, I don't think I'm ready for you to be there yet."

"Um…okay..."

Ellie sighed. "I just…I'm not even ready to be at a meeting by myself yet. I still need Richard there for support."

"Ellie, I can be that support for you."

Ellie shook her head. "I can't, Addie. I'm sorry." Ellie slid off the gurney and headed towards the elevator.

"Ellie…"

Ellie turned around, a pained expression on her face. "I'm sorry. Not yet." Ellie hit the button on the elevator and stepped on, barely making eye contact with Addison one last time before the doors shut.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Addison shivered as she stepped in to the rain, pulling her coat around her. What a way to end a day. She hadn't seen Derek since one o'clock, and even though she had something planned for that evening, she really had wanted to see him one last time before she left.

"Addison!" Addison turned in surprise as Derek came running out of the hospital.

"You're supposed to be scrubbing in on a surgery, Derek."

"I wanted to see you before you left." He said, smiling. Addison grinned as Derek pulled her in to a hug and kissed her, brushing her wet hair out of her face. Derek cupped her face in his hands, their tongues dueling, neither one willing to be the first to pull back for air. Derek pulled Addison closer to him, letting the rain soak through his scrubs. He didn't care anymore. Derek slowly pulled back, brushing the rain drops out of Addisons eyes and running his fingers through his own hair. Addison leaned in and kissed him again, using her tongue to part his lips. Derek moaned as their tongues touched again.

"Ahem." Derek and Addison jolted apart, Bailey's voice startling both of them. "You have a surgery to be in, Dr. Shepherd. And next time…get a room." Addison giggled as Bailey walked in to the hospital.

"Oops." Derek said, smiling. "Guess we got caught."

Addison laughed. "Guess so."

Derek placed a soft kiss on her lips and smiled. "She's right, though. I do have a surgery. I'll see you at home."

Addison smiled. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you too, Addie." Addison watched him walk back in to the hospital and then raced to her car. The rain had soaked her to the bone, and without Derek, there was no point in standing out in the rain.

* * *

"Look, I know you weren't planning on coming tonight…" 

"No. Adele is right. My wife is right a lot. I thought I was going to be able to handle it myself, but I was still counting. And I fell back in to a hole….and that wasn't good. I don't want that to happen to you…so its fine. Besides, Adele says she made a deal with you."

Ellie laughed. "Yeah. She made me promise to come back to your home and have coffee with her." Ellie grinned. "I have to admit, it surprised me a little."

"Why?" Richard asked, getting in the passenger seat of the car Ellie had recently purchased. "You're Addison's friend."

"I'm also Ellis Grey's daughter."

Richard stared. "And…?"

"I'm not Meredith, Richard. What do I care if you had an affair with my mother?"

"Eliot…"

"I don't know if you remember this, but when I was about eight, I came in to Seattle Grace because I got knocked up in the side of the head with the baseball, and I needed surgery…"

Richard nodded. "I remember that. That was such a long time ago…"

"I saw you and Ellis together, Richard. I may have been eight, but I was not stupid. I knew something was going on."

Richard nodded. "Okay, so I did have an affair with your mother. And yes, Adele knows. But she forgave me, and we're still together…and she's not going to take out on you the anger she once had at your mother."

"Once had?" Ellie asked, finally starting the car.

"It was a long time ago, Eliot. Adele and I have worked through it. I love my wife…even if I do love your mother." Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Not in the same way I love my wife, but part of me still loves your mother." Ellie nodded. "Everyone has a love of their life and a soul mate, Eliot. Sometimes they are one in the same, sometimes they aren't." Richard took a deep breath. "With Derek and Addison, I believe that they are one in the same. With Adele and I…she's the love of my life, but your mother is my soul mate. You see what I mean?"

Ellie nodded, her mind playing the images of Mark and George. "Yeah. I think I do."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

Derek walked in to the trailer, his body aching. Not for lack of strength, but for lack of Addison. As he walked towards the bedroom, he literally groaned out loud. She was not asleep.

"Damn it." He hissed, letting his bag fall to the floor. What he didn't know was that Addison wasn't asleep. She was just waiting for him.

"Derek…" Derek jumped when Addison sat up, a grin on her face. "How was your surgery?"

"Fine. I thought you were asleep."

"I promised you I would make it up to you, didn't I?" Derek nodded. "So why would I fall asleep?"

Derek shrugged. "You looked asleep."

Addison grinned. "Well I wasn't asleep…" Addison crawled across the bed towards him. "I have something for you." Derek raised his eyebrows and Addison pulled him towards the edge of the bed, seating him at the center.

"Addie…?"

"There's only one rule. No touching." Derek stared. "Ready?"

"No! Why am I not allowed to touch you?"

Addison grinned devilishly. "Because."

"Addie…"

"Just go along with it, okay?"

Derek sighed. "Fine."

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Derek…" Derek sighed and shut his eyes. A few seconds later, soft music started playing and when Derek opened his eyes, the sweat pants and sweatshirt his wife had previously been wearing were on his lap and Addison was standing before him in nothing but stilettos and a thong.

"God…" He whispered, staring at her. "How the hell am I not supposed to touch you?"

"Ssshhh…" She said, putting a finger to his lips. Addison began to sway to the music, her hips rocking back and forth. Addison closed her eyes and Derek groaned as she slowly turned, showing him every inch of her unclothed body. She took slow steps towards him, placing one foot between his legs and the other on the bed next to him. Addison ground her hips towards him, causing his eyes to widen.

"You're kidding." He breathed as he reached out for her hips and she slapped his hands away.

"Don't touch."

"Addie…" He whined as she stepped back, reaching for her sweatshirt. "No. Wait. Don't…I'll be good. I won't touch you. I promise."

Addison stared at him and cocked one eyebrow. "Promise?" Derek nodded as Addison dropped the sweatshirt back on to the floor and straddled his lap, pressing her breasts against his chest. Derek worked his hands in to fists. He had promised. Addison began to sway to the music again, grinding her hips against him. Derek grabbed her hips. "Derek…"

"Shut up." He hissed, flipping her on to her back. "I'm going to touch you if I want to, damn it." Addison cocked one eyebrow, grinning, as Derek slid his fingers underneath the thin fabric of the thong and slid it over her stilettos. Derek began to kiss his way up her body, doing his best to plant a kiss on every inch of bare skin. Derek's warm breath descended on Addisons lower half, and just as she began to peak, he stopped.

"Derek…"

He grinned. "Come on. Shower." Addison raised her eyebrows. "I'm serious." Derek slid off the bed and shed his clothes as Addison reached to take off her heels. "Leave them on." He said, turning on the shower.

"Derek, these are Manolo Blahniks."

"Leave…them…on…" He said, planting a kiss on her lips between each word. "I'll buy you new ones." Addison stared at him and then gave in as he lifted her in to his arms and set her in the shower, stepping in with her and pressing her against the wall. "I…" Derek kissed Addison collar bone. "Love…"Derek kissed Addison between her breasts. "You…" Derek devoured her mouth in his, lifting her in to his arms and pressing up against her. Both of them let out a moan as Derek ran his fingers through Addisons wet hair.

"Does this make up for earlier?" She asked, grinning.

Derek grinned. "This beats this morning by 1000."

* * *

Ellie stepped out of her car, taking a deep breath. Coffee with the woman who was married to the man who had once dated her mother…God, Ellie's life was so complicated. Her best friend was married to her other best friend, who cheated on her husband with Ellie's boyfriend, who was probably her soul mate, even if George was the love of her life…her sister slept with her male best friend when he left New York after his wife cheated on him…Ellie got a headache even trying to understand it. She'd tried to explain it to Mallory and Andrew at the meeting earlier…it didn't work. 

_3 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours and 10 minutes._ Ellie followed Richard up to the front door and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure she was ready to spend the evening with her boss' wife. Maybe she should have brought George.

"Hi." Ellie almost shrieked when George opened the door. "Adele convinced Izzie to stay with Madison overnight…she thought that you could use some support."

Ellie sighed with relief as George pulled her in to a hug and yanked her in to the house, Richard following close behind. "Thank God you're here."

"Adele is not that bad."

Ellie laughed. "I'm not talking about Adele. I'm talking about me. 3 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours and 12 minutes, George. That's how long it's been since my last drink. I'm going nuts."

"You're fine."

"I am not fine. I'm still counting!"

"Ellie." Ellie stared. "Take a deep breath." Ellie obeyed, breathing in deep and letting it out slowly. "What did I tell you?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "What did I tell you?"

Ellie smiled. "You love me."

George nodded. "I love you. And I'm going to love you if you're counting for the rest of your life." Ellie grinned.

_3 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours, 13 minutes and 12 seconds._

**Hope you guys liked it. For serious. Damn it Kayli!**


	35. What's Good For Me

**Okay. Jess, Brandy, Cess, Michelle and Chrissie….remember that thing we talked about? Well…it's in here, but only sort of…you'll get what I mean.**

**I hope you guys like this chapter. I really really do.**

**Half Love**

"**What's Good For Me"**

_I ain't no queen of hearts, I go through stages  
__I fall in love then complicate it, yeah, you know the feeling  
__without much hope , just blind ambition  
__pretendin' that there's nothing missin'  
__I always kept believing, that more, I thought if I had more  
__I wouldn't get so bored, but everything just left me empty  
__love, walking in and out of my door, wasn't good enough no more  
__when I don't trust myself, life really sucks  
__first time I thought it but I didn't do it, last time that's when I really blew it  
__so this time I'm gonna do it different, cause I know, I know, I know  
__if I put everything I have into it, eventually, I'm gonna get what's good for me –  
_"_What's Good For Me"  
__By Lucy Woodward_

**May 1st, 2006**

**7:00 P.M.**

Tears streamed down Ellie's face as Addison held Ellie's shaking body to her own.

"They can't…"

"They gave Hannah sixty days, honey. They can."

Ellie shook her head. "No. It's not right. Hannah doesn't want her. I want her. George was going to adopt her and take custody until I was better…they can't do this!"

"Ellie…" Ellie's knees caved and Addison went down with her, both women hitting the grass in front of the trailer with force. Addison let go of Ellie and one hand went to her lower stomach. Ellie leaned away from Addison and vomited in to the grass. George and Derek stood frozen on the porch, neither one sure what to do. Addison ran her fingers through her sobbing best friends hair as Ellie began to shake. It was then that George moved for the first time in almost ten minutes. He pulled Ellie in to his arms and Addison stood, tears streaming down her own face. "It's not fair." Addison said as Derek wrapped his arms around her. "It's just not fair." Derek pulled Addison as close to him as possible and kissed the top of her head.

"Ellie!" Both of the Shepherds jumped and Addison spun around. Ellie had gotten to her feet and was getting in to her car. "Ellie, wait!" George lunged for the passenger door handle, but Ellie had already locked the doors, and was driving away as George clung to the door.

"George!" George let go of the door and turned around as Ellie peeled out of the gravel and tore away from the trailer. Derek threw George's keys at him. "Go." George managed to catch his keys and got in to his car, speeding after Ellie. Addison and Derek looked at each other, panic on their faces. What no one knew was that George was already too late.

* * *

_**7:00 A.M.**_

_Ellie slammed through the doors of the home her mother was in, only to be stopped by the angry face of the on-call nurse._

"_Is everything alright?"_

"_I don't know what's going on, but I think your sister is aggravating your mother." Ellie sighed and made her way past the nurse in to the room Ellis and Meredith were in._

"_I don't know who you are! Leave me alone."_

"_Ellis….please. Calm down." Meredith's voice cracked and Ellis looked angry, but her expression changed when she saw Ellie._

"_Eliot!" Ellis stood and walked over to Ellie, who wrapped her in a hug._

"_How are you Ellis?"_

_Ellis shrugged. "As good as I can be. You haven't been here in a while."_

_Ellie nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I've been busy. Doctoring and all."_

_Ellis laughed. "I know how that is."_

"_Who's this?" Ellie asked, gesturing to Meredith, who was staring at her with pain in her eyes._

"_I don't know." Ellis sighed, sitting back down. "She says she knows me."_

"_You don't remember Meredith?" Ellis shook her head. "I sent her here to see you. She's a doctor too, Ellis. She wanted to meet you…she's just an intern right now."_

_Ellis smiled, believing Ellie, and turned to Meredith. "Do you like being an intern? I loved being an intern. You know, my daughters name is Meredith…"_

"_I know, Mo…" Ellie shook her head and Meredith cleared her throat. "Uh…Ellie told me."_

"_Eliot and Meredith are 8 and 5…it's too bad Meredith doesn't know."_

"_Doesn't know what?" Meredith asked, looking from Ellie to their mother._

"_Well, you know, about her father. He's probably going to leave. Poor girl." Meredith stared. "He won't tell her. He just wants to leave." Ellis took a deep breath and Meredith stood._

"_I'll be right back." Meredith bolted out of the room._

"_I'm going to make sure she's okay. I'll be right back." Ellie said. Ellis nodded, and Ellie raced out of the room after Meredith, finding her pacing just a few feet down the hall. "Mere?"_

"_My own mother doesn't remember me. She raised me. She saw you, what, four times before Michael died?" Meredith took a deep breath. "She should be able to recognize me. But she doesn't. And yet, she remembers you like she sees you all the time. You're never here!"_

"_Meredith…she doesn't know that I'm her daughter. She just knows my name."_

"_She doesn't even know my name, El. I can't believe this…and then she goes and starts talking about my Dad…I don't want to hear that! That's why I want her to know who I am. If she knows who I am, she won't talk about my Dad."_

"_Her talking about Thatcher has nothing to do with who you are to her right now. As far as she is concerned, Meredith is 5 years old. It doesn't make any difference who you are."_

"_You are in no way the expert on Mom."_

"_I'm not trying to be the expert on Mom, Meredith. But I've dealt with Alzheimers patients before, and I know what they're like."_

"_Mom is different."_

"_Mom is pretty advanced…she's not that different."_

"_You know, you think you're so great because she remembers you…you're not all that great!"_

"_I don't think I'm great, Meredith. I wish she remembered me, but she just remembers the me that's been here to visit…the friend of Richard Webber, who has the same name as her eight-year-old."_

"_It's not fair. I'm here all the time. You're too preoccupied with Addison and Derek and George to care…"_

"_That is not true!" Ellie sighed. "Yeah, I've been preoccupied as of late, but…"_

"_Yeah and why is that? Did Addison sleep with someone else that she shouldn't have?" Ellie reached out and hit Meredith, the slap across her face echoing in the hall._

"_Don't talk about her like that. You have no right." Meredith walked around Ellie, one hand on her cheek and Ellie walked back in to the room Ellis was in. Their conversation was over, if only just for the moment._

* * *

_**11:00 A.M.**_

_Ellie kicked the wall. "Call it, Stevens."_

_Izzie glanced at Ellie briefly and then looked at the clock. "Time of death, 11:02." Ellie shed her gloves and gown and stormed out of the OR, heading straight for the scrub room._

"_Are you okay?" Addison asked, coming in to the room. She'd been watching from the observation deck._

"_I'm fine."_

"_Ellie, sometimes you lose patients…"_

"_I'm not an intern, Addison." Ellie snapped, drying her arms off. "I know." Ellie tried to get out of the room by moving around Addison, but was cut off._

"_What's going on?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_What happened this morning? Didn't you go visit Ellis?"_

"_Nothing happened, Addie." Ellie shoved past her and in to the hallway. "I can take Madison home today, right? Like, she and I can move back in to the trailer?" Addison nodded. "Look, thanks for letting me have the house while she was here. You didn't have to do that."_

"_The house is closer than the trailer. Derek and I just figured it would be easier."_

_Ellie forced a smile. "It was. Thanks."_

"_Ellie…"_

"_I'm okay, Addie. Really." Ellie turned around only to run in to Meredith. "Oh. Hi."_

"_Dr. Shepherd asked me to come get you. He needs your help with a procedure in OR2."_

"_Thanks."_

"_Yeah." Ellie headed for OR2 and Meredith headed back down the hall, avoiding eye contact with Addison. Addison followed Ellie in the scrub room, taking a deep breath. "I'm fine." Ellie said, washing her arms._

_Addison tied her mask behind her cap and sighed. "I don't believe you."_

"_Believe what you want." Ellie said, her voice muffled. "I'm fine." Ellie walked in to the OR backwards, leaving Addison to wonder what the hell went wrong._

* * *

_**5:00 P.M.**_

"_What has been going on with you all day?" George said, helping Ellie pile her clothes in to the suitcase she'd been living out of for the last 6 days. "You've been acting strange around me, around Addison…the only person you'll talk to is Richard."_

"_I've had a bad day, okay?" Ellie said, kissing a sleeping Madison on the forehead as she placed the car seat on the floor and sat down on the bed. "Some stuff happened at the nursing home this morning, I lost two patients…plus Hannah was at the hospital and that scares me."_

"_Hannah? Madisons birth mother?" Ellie nodded and George sat down next to her, taking her hand in his. "Honey, nothing's going to happen. Hannah doesn't want her, and she knows that you can take care of her." George smiled. "Plus, now that I'm going to adopt her, Madison will have two parents…Hannah can't really argue with that."_

_Ellie looked at him, tears in her grey eyes. "You promise?"_

_George nodded. "I promise." Ellie leaned in and kissed him, placing one hand on the back of his head. "Hey…how long has it been?"_

_Ellie sighed. "4 weeks, 3 days, 16 hours, 4 minutes and 12 seconds." Ellie looked down. "I'm pathetic."_

"_You're not pathetic. Adele said that counting meant that you were recovering…it's okay, Ellie."_

"_I just want it to be over." She sighed, leaning in to him._

"_I know, baby. I know you do." George hugged her to him, and Ellie took a deep breath. "You want to go home?"_

_Ellie nodded. "Yeah." Ellie picked up the car seat and smiled at her sleeping child, while George grabbed the suitcase off of the bed and followed her out of the house. Neither one of them knew where the night was going to go._

* * *

_**6:30 P.M.**_

"_What do you mean, you changed your mind? That's not possible."_

"_Actually, Dr. Grey, it is." The woman from the adoption agency stood in the doorway as Ellie hugged Madison to her chest, George's arms wrapped around her waist. Addison and Derek were sitting at the table in the kitchen, Addison watching Ellie, Derek staring at Hannah, who looked scared. "We give the birth parents 60 days to change their minds…I thought we told you that."_

_Ellie sighed. "You did, but…" Ellie turned to Hannah. "You don't want her!"_

_Hannah nodded. "Yes I do. I just thought that I couldn't take care of her…but my parents are willing to help. I want to keep her." Hannah glanced at Derek, who was still watching her, and then looked down. "I'm sorry."_

_Ellie shook her head. "No. I'm not doing it. She gave Madison up, and now she's my daughter. I won't do it."_

"_You don't have a choice, Dr. Grey. I'm very sorry." The woman took Madison from Ellie's arms, and even though Ellie could have put up a struggle, she didn't want to hurt the baby. "We'll be back for her things…why don't you leave them at the hospital?"_

_Ellie shook her head. "You can't do this." Tears were streaming down her face and Hannah's meek voice broke the silence._

"_I'm sorry." She said, looking at Ellie on last time before following the older woman out of the trailer._

"_No…" Ellie hissed, trying to break free of George's grip. "George let go."_

"_Ellie…"_

"_Let go!" George lifted his arms from around Ellie's waist and she spun around, shoving him towards the counter. "You promised!"_

"_Ellie…" Ellie raced out of the trailer, ignoring George. Addison scrambled out of the trailer after her._

"_Hannah, please." Ellie placed one hand softly on the shoulder of the teenager, who turned around slowly. "I don't think you understand."_

"_I understand, Dr. Grey. I'm sorry." Hannah walked away, and Ellie went to follow her but was stopped by Addisons arms grabbing her from behind._

"_Let go of me." Ellie said, trying to get out of the grip of Addisons arms around her waist._

"_Ellie, she's gone."_

"_No." Ellie whispered. "It's not fair." Tears streamed down Ellie's face as Addison held Ellie's shaking body to her own. "They can't…."_

"_They gave Hannah sixty days, honey. They can."_

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

Ellie had lost George long ago. She wasn't entirely sure if he'd even followed her, but had hadn't found her, because she'd been sitting in the Monkey Pub for almost two hours, and George hadn't shown up yet, so…

"Ellie?" Ellie's head jerked up at the sound of her sisters voice.

"Mere?" Meredith nodded and sat down at the bar next to Ellie. "What are you doing here?"

"Hiding."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "From what?"

"I took Doc to the vet this morning…the vet's hot…" Ellie laughed. "He wants to go on a date with me."

"So you're hiding here?"

"Yeah, well…what are you doing?"

Ellie lifted her half empty glass of gin and tonic and grinned. "Drinking."

"Obviously. Why?"

"Well, lets see, my sister hates me, two of my patients died today, oh, and Madisons birth mother changed her mind. Took her back."

"Can she do that?"

Ellie nodded. "She had sixty days. I didn't worry about it, because I didn't think that Hannah would want her back…but apparently she did."

"God, El…I'm sorry." Meredith took a deep breath. "I don't hate you. We just got in a fight this morning, that's all."

"I hit you."

"Yeah, well…I deserved it." Meredith motioned for the bar tender to come over and smiled. "How about another?"

Ellie looked down at the counter and then nodded. "Sure." After all, what Meredith didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

* * *

**May 2nd, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke up in George's room at Merediths house, but George was nowhere to be found. Ellie had a pounding headache, and all she could remember about the night before was that she and Meredith had ended up drinking and dancing their way through most of the night.

"Hey." Meredith came in to the room, two cups of coffee in her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like shit. God…why did you let me drink that much?"

Meredith stared, handing her a cup of coffee. "Like I could have stopped you. You did keep saying something about a sponsor…any idea what the hell you were talking about?"

Ellie took a large gulp of the coffee and shook her head. "Nope. Can we not mention this at work though? I mean…I just…can we just tell everyone I came here last night?"

Meredith shrugged. "Sure. Whatever. We have to be at the hospital in an hour." Ellie nodded as Meredith left the room. Ellie leaned against the headboard, glancing at her phone. She picked it up cautiously and cringed when she saw the screen. _12 voicemails._ They were going to kill her. Ellie took a deep breath and dialed her voicemail, unsure if she wanted to hear the messages.

"_El, baby, it's me. Don't do anything you'll regret. Pull over, stop the car, and call me. I love you."_

"_Eliot, it's Addison. Call me back."_

"_Ellie, honey…call me. Please. Addison and Derek are freaking out as much as I am…where are you?"_

"_Eliot, it's Richard. I just talked to Addison, and I heard about what happened with Madison. You need to call me. It's very important that you call me. You're in a vulnerable state. I can help you, Eliot."_

"_Ellie…Addison is freaking out and George is driving all over Seattle. Where are you?"_

"_Ellie please call me. I know Madison getting taken is horrible…believe me, I know what it's like to lose a child, El, you know that. Honey, I don't want you to be alone right now. Call me _sorella_."_

"_Ellie, it's Mark."_ Ellie froze. Why the hell was he calling? _"Addison called me, she's frantic. You really need to call one of them back. God damn it…Ellie, I'm worried about you too…please, call someone."_

"_Ellie…"_ Ellie cringed at the pain in George's voice. _"Honey, please. Please call me."  
_

"_It's Izzie. George just called and told me about Madison. I'm so sorry, Ellie. Call me if you need to talk to someone."_

"_Eliot, it's Richard again. You haven't called me or anyone else back, and we're all starting to get really worried. Please, call someone."_

"Sorellina_, you have to call one of us back. Addison can't sleep, George is pacing the trailer…this isn't good. Call someone, Ellie."_

"_Ellie, it's Derek again. We've called every bar we could think of in Seattle and we can't find you. Some place called the Monkey Pub said that they might have seen you, but they can't remember…Ellie, we need you to call us back. Addison thinks something really bad has happened to you, and I'm inclined to agree with her. Eliot, please."_ Ellie took a deep breath and deleted the final voicemail. She wasn't ready to talk to any of them yet, so she took a gulp of her coffee and sent a text message to Addison.

* * *

Addison jumped as her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Richard and Derek looked at her as she flipped it open. 

"It's Ellie." She said, smiling. "She says, 'I'm fine. Sorry I didn't call you back, I'll be at the hospital in an hour.'" Addison took a deep breath. "Do you think she's okay?"

Richard shrugged. "She probably went drinking last night, but we won't know until she gets here." Addison and Derek nodded. "I need you two to be doctors right now. When Ellie gets here, I'll let you be worried friends, but not right now." The Shepherds stood, nodding and made their way out of Richards office. "Addison?" Addison turned around, a quizzical look on her face. "Be careful. I know you didn't sleep very much last night, and I don't want you to collapse."

Addison scoffed. "Richard…"

"I'm not stupid, Addison. I know."

Addison stared. "Know what?"

Richard rolled his eyes. "Are you not six weeks pregnant?"

Addison cringed. "Okay, I was going to tell you…"

"It's okay, Addie." Richard stood and gave his old friend a hug. "I'm actually pretty happy for you guys. As long as you promise not to quit."

Addison laughed. "Me? Quit? Never." Addison smiled and the two of them left, leaving Richard alone in his office. As soon as they were out of sight, he made his way back to his desk and picked up his phone, dialing the number of the only person that could help him.

"Hi, it's me. I need your help…"

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Ellie had managed to avoid long conversations with anyone for two hours. She'd found Addison, Derek, George and Richard and assured them that she was okay, and she'd also called Mark. That probably wasn't her best decision, because it had sparked an argument, but she felt like she should call him.

"Eliot."

Ellie turned and smiled. "Adele! Hi." Adele gave Ellie a much needed hug, and Ellie took a deep breath. "How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine." Adele said, crossing her arms. "You, I hear, are not."

Ellie shook her head. "I'm okay. I had a bad night last night, but I'm fine."

"How bad?"

Ellie sighed. "It was just not a fun evening, that's all."

"So no alcohol?"

Ellie swallowed and shook her head. "Nope."

"Hmmm…." Adele smirked. "I don't believe you. And I don't tolerate liars."

"I'm not lying."

"Ellie, don't you think it would be good to talk to someone?" Addison asked, leaning over the counter.

Ellie turned. "No." She snapped, staring at Addison. "I don't need to talk to anyone. I'm fine."

"Obviously you're not." Derek said, joining the group, George at his side.

"Great. Now I'm surrounded." Ellie mumbled, leaning against the counter.

"What?" Adele asked.

"Nothing. Look…would you all just leave me alone? I'm fine." Ellie tried to walk away, but was stopped by Adele moving in front of her. "I have patients."

"Your interns can take care of your patients." Adele said. "You're not fit to treat people."

"I'm fine!" Ellie yelled, shoving between Derek and Adele and in to the nearest on-call room. "Leave me alone!" Ellie slammed the door and leaned against it, trying to take deep breaths. It wasn't working very well though, because the nausea was rising, and soon Ellie was out of the on-call room and racing down the hall, barely sliding in to the bathroom and in to the stall before vomiting in to the toilet. Ellie's eyes were closed, so she didn't notice the blood until the opened her eyes and wiped her mouth. Ellie flushed the toilet, grabbed a paper towel and walked in to the hall slowly. "Addie…" Her voice was weak, but Addison spun on as if on cue. "Something's wrong." Ellie stared at her best friend, who was racing towards her, and gagged once before completely passing out.

**Um. I really hope you guys liked this. Like really really hope.**


	36. Not Going Anywhere

**Half Love**

"**Not Going Anywhere"**

_This is why I always wonder  
__I'm a pond full of regrets  
__I always try to not remember rather than forget  
__This is why I always whisper  
__When vagabonds are passing by  
__I tend to keep myself away from their goodbyes  
__Tide will rise and fall along the bay  
__and I'm not going anywhere  
__I'm not going anywhere  
__People come and go and walk away  
__but I'm not going anywhere  
__I'm not going anywhere –  
_"_Not Going Anywhere"  
__By Keren Ann_

**May 2nd, 2006**

**1:00 P.M.**

"She hit the ground pretty hard."

"Are you thinking amnesia?"

"Temporarily; maybe. We won't know that until she wakes up."

"We won't know anything until she wakes up."

"But she does have an ulcer."

"Yeah. And the alcohol certainly didn't help. I knew she drank last night."

"Richard…how do we help her?"

"I don't know Derek."

Derek sighed. "Addison is going to freak out."

"I'm surprised you're not."

Derek laughed. "One of us has to stay calm. And it's not going to be Addie."

"This is true." Richard turned to the bed Ellie was lying in only to see her slowly opening her eyes. "She's waking up." Derek spun around and sat down next to the bed as Ellie tried to sit up.

"Don't move, Ellie. Just relax, okay?" Ellie nodded, looking at him strange. "Do you know where you are?"

Ellie stared at him and then squinted, as if trying to tell who she was looking at. "Derek?"

"You remember me?" Ellie nodded slowly, glancing around the room. "What's the last thing you remember?" Ellie stared at him and gagged. Derek reached for the bucket he himself had supplied for when she woke up, and Ellie vomited in to it. Twice. "Ellie?"

Ellie groaned and leaned back in to the pillow, wiping her mouth with the towel Richard had handed her. "I don't know."

"Close your eyes." Ellie obeyed, taking a deep breath. "What's the last thing you see?" Ellie took slow deep breaths, and almost immediately Derek knew.

"Addison cheated on you?" She asked, opening her eyes. "With Mark?" Richard cringed and left the room in an attempt to warn Addison. This was going to be very bad.

* * *

Richard walked cautiously in to his office where Meredith, George and Addison were sitting. He didn't want to walk in because he knew that all three of them were going to jump him for information about Ellie. And he didn't want to tell Addison. Even though he knew that he had to. 

"Chief!" George stood first, a look of relief on his face. He'd been gripping Addison's hand, which had obviously made Meredith rather uncomfortable, but George had been doing it regardless. "Is she okay?"

Richard took a deep breath. "She's got a pretty bad ulcer, which doesn't really surprise me considering recent events. She just woke up, but she's got temporary amnesia." Addison looked up, panic on her face. "Derek is pretty sure it's temporary."

"What's the last thing she remembers?" Addison asked her voice panicky.

Richard looked down. "Uh…"

"Oh god." Addison looked down, taking a deep breath. George sat down next to her and placed one hand on her back.

Meredith stood. "Can I go see her?"

Richard nodded. "Sure." Meredith left the room slowly, and turned around glancing at Addison briefly before leaving. Richard was sure he saw sympathy in her eyes. "Addie…?"

"I should be more concerned about her being alive, but my biggest worry right now is how far we've gotten in the last months…and it's all gone."

"You don't know that, Addison." Richard said. George was silent, and had leaned back against the couch. "Derek thinks that it'll only be temporary."

"What Derek thinks and what is actually true are sometimes very different things." Addison said, sighing. George had closed his eyes and was taking slow breaths.

"O'Malley?" Richard asked, leaning forward.

George opened his eyes and turned to Addison. "Who do you think you are?" He snapped. Addison turned to him, a scared look in her eyes. "So what if the last thing she remembers is the affair? You guys were still having problems anyway. At least she'll still remember you." He said, standing.

"George…"

"No." Addison looked taken aback, but didn't speak again. "You've still got her. I've completely lost her." George was taking slow breaths, but there were tears in his eyes. "She's not going to remember me at all."

"She's going to hate me."

"At least she'll feel something for you!" George snapped. He left the room in a huff, slamming the door shut and he went in to the hall. Addison looked up at Richard and leaned in to the couch.

"I need to go talk to Meredith…she's her family, so I need to talk to her about the surgery…"

"Perform the surgery."

"That's not your choice."

"Ellie would want it done."

Richard sighed. "Addie…I know you're her 'family', but Meredith has to sign the papers."

Addison sighed. "Fine. Will you let me know when…if she wants to see me?"

Richard nodded. "Absolutely." Richard left the room, leaving Addison alone to contemplate how exactly she was going to handle this.

* * *

"Why did you let her drink?" 

"Why didn't you tell me she was an alcoholic?" Meredith snapped back. "I'm not psychic."

"I thought she had told you."

"Because my sister tells me everything." Meredith said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Meredith, I do not need your attitude right now. I need an answer."

"Excuse me? I already told you, I had no idea that she was an alcoholic. And if I had, I sure as hell wouldn't have been stupid enough to give her alcohol."

"How much did she drink?"

"Uh…at least 2 manhattans and I believe we were doing shots for a moment there... everything is a little hazy."

"Well thanks in part to your little adventure last night…she now has an ulcer and amnesia."

"How soon can you operate?"

"I don't know…Richard will be around with consent forms shortly."

"Ok…" Derek nodded and turned to leave. "Derek…"

"Yes, Meredith?"

"She's alright, isn't she?"

Derek sighed. "No, Meredith…she's not alright."

* * *

George walked in to Ellie's hospital room cautiously, unsure of what to expect. He knew she wouldn't remember, but he wasn't sure he was going to be able to control himself. He wanted to take her in his arms, but he couldn't. 

"Hi." Ellie said, smiling. He loved her smile.

"Hi. I'm George…I work here."

Ellie nodded. "Okay…are you one of the lucky ones that gets to scrub in on my surgery."

George shook his head. "Probably not."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Why not?"

George shrugged. "It's a long story."

"Look, George…Derek has already told me that I'm almost a year behind. If there's something going on…I want to know."

George nodded. "Okay. Where do you want me to start?"

Ellie shrugged. "How do I know you?"

"Uh, we met when you took over for my resident. She was on bed rest, and then maternity leave, and I was one of your five interns." Ellie smiled. "Uh…you were staying with Meredith, and…"

"Meredith? As in my sister, Meredith?"

George nodded. "Didn't Derek tell you that?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. That one he failed to mention."

"Oh. Well…she's an intern here too." Ellie nodded. "So you were staying with her, and then she kicked you out…"

"Why?" George panicked. "Look, I know the whole amnesia thing sucks, but I'd like to know details…"

"You two kept getting in to fights about Addison."

Ellie cringed. "Was Meredith defending her?"

George shook his head. "No. You were."

* * *

Addison stood outside the room, pacing. George was inside talking to Ellie, Meredith had just signed the consent forms to let Richard perform the surgery, and Addison wanted to go in and talk to Ellie. But she wasn't sure if Ellie would even want to talk to her. Addison was about to walk away when George came out of the room, a smile on his face. 

"Hi." He said, grinning. "I'm sorry for earlier. I freaked out a little…"

Addison shrugged. "It's okay. You're entitled." Addison swallowed hard. "How is she?"

"She's okay mentally. I mean…as okay as she can be." Addison nodded. "She wants to talk to you."

Addison looked shocked. "Really?"

George nodded. "She asked me to find you."

Addison breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God." Addison looked down at her feet. "I didn't think she's want to…"

"She just wants to talk to you briefly. Derek told her that she has an ulcer, and since the last thing she can remember is the affair…she doesn't want to overstress herself."

Addison nodded. "Okay." She briefly smiled at George and then went in to the room. "Hi."

Ellie managed a weak smile. "Hi."

"I'm sorry. I…"

"Add, don't. George said you and I were in a good place, and even though it's hard for me totally believe him…"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know him, Addie. Look, the point is, I'd rather kind of believe him and be able to talk to my best friend than not believe him and get in an argument with you."

"Okay." Addison sat down next to the bed. "George said that…"

"I'm scared." Ellie blurted out. "Whatever happened in the last year has caused me to have an ulcer, and my fall this morning was so bad it gave me amnesia…I'm scared, I needed my best friend." Addison smiled and sat down next to Ellie on the bed, pulling her softly in to a hug. "Am I going to be okay?"

"Richard is a very good surgeon, Ellie. You know that, you've met him…"

"That wasn't my question. Am I going to be okay?"

Addison sighed. "I don't know, honey. I hope so."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Derek paced in the scrub room. "How come I can't be in there?"

"You're her best friend, Derek. It's not at all ethical."

"Ethical-schmethical. I want to be in there."

Richard shook his head. "No."

Derek tied the mask around Richards face and sighed. "I don't need to scrub in…can't I just stand there?"

"No. You'll freak out and try to jump in. Neither you nor Addison are allowed in the OR."

"Why not?" Addison asked, walking in to the room. "Can't I just stand there?"

"No." Richard backed in to the OR. "Observation room, both of you." Addison and Derek headed up the stairs to the observation deck, Addison taking slow breaths and Derek clutching her hand. He wanted to tell Addison that it was going to be okay, but he couldn't. Because he didn't know.

* * *

Entering the observation deck, Addison and Derek noticed George sitting by himself in the corner, wringing his hands. They joined him in silence, Addison giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. The three of them sat in silence throughout the whole procedure. The procedure became twice as long as needed when Richard found yet a third spot where the ulcer was bleeding out, but the three of them sat in the corner the whole surgery, Addison and Derek gripping each other, Addison giving George a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder or knee every few minutes. There positions only changed when Richard had to shock Ellie, and at that point George stood and made his way to the window, standing so that he was looking down at her directly. Meredith, who had been sitting in the first row, joined him, putting her arm around him, and rubbing slow circles on his back. 

"I can't lose her." George whispered as Richard charged to three hundred and pressed the paddles to Ellie's chest a third time. "She's my everything." The sharp beeping of the heart monitor caused both Meredith and George to jump and George let out a sigh of relief, slamming his head against the window and getting a jump out of both Richard and Bailey. George backed away from the window and sank in to the nearest empty chair. Addison let go of her incredibly tight grip on Dereks hand as Richard announced that they were almost finished. Maybe she really was going to be okay.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Addison sat down across from the bed, Derek on one side of her, George next to the bed. Richard had said that with rest and less stress, Ellie was going to be just fine.

Now all they had to do was wait for her to wake up.

**You like? You hate? Let me know! – Mel.**


	37. Please Remember

**Half Love**

"**Please Remember"**

_Please remember, please remember  
__I was there for you and you were there for me  
__Please remember our time together  
__when time was yours and mine  
__And we were wild and free  
__Please remember, please remember me –  
_"_Please Remember"  
__By LeAnn Rimes_

**May 10th, 2006**

**11:00 A.M.**

George had made sure that all of Madisons things were gone; hiding at the Shepherds, before Ellie came home. The trailer was cleaned up, spiffed up, even, and now he was nervous. Because over a week after her surgery, she still didn't remember.

"_I know that I feel something for you…" She said, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "Because every time I look at you my heart beats 1,000 times faster than it should..." He couldn't help but smile. "But I don't remember."_

George cringed every time he heard that. _I don't remember._ Ellie and Addison were on speaking terms at least, and Ellie was trying to get past the fact that she had forgiven Addison even though she didn't remember doing it.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?" George walked in to Ellie's room only to find Meredith sitting on the edge of the bed as Ellie packed her things. "Come on. You don't want to stay in that trailer."

Ellie sighed. "Meredith, I don't remember anything that has happened in the last year. The trailer might help." Ellie took a deep breath. "I want to remember, Mere."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Just know there's always space."

Ellie smiled. "I'll keep that in mind." Meredith nodded and left, giving George a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder on her way out. "Hey."

"Hey." George smiled. "You ready?"

Ellie nodded. "Almost." She took a deep breath. "Are you, Addison and Derek really all taking the day off to spend it with me?"

George nodded. "That's the plan." He noticed the uncomfortable look on her face and cleared his throat. "Unless you don't want me…"

"No." Ellie shook her head. "Of all people, I want you with me." George smiled. He had spent every possible minute with her in the last week, and they'd become almost as close as they were before Ellie's surgery. "I just hate not being able to remember what has happened." Tears sprang to Ellie's eyes and George moved closer to her. She turned away from him, trying to wipe the tears before they got too out of control. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"Ellie, it's okay." George put one hand on her shoulder and his heart almost broke when she pulled away from him. "Ellie…" Ellie shook her head, tears streaming down her face. George wanted to scream when Addison and Derek walked in to the room.

"What happened?" Addison asked, visibly cringing as Ellie avoided her and went straight in to Derek's arms.

"I don't know. I just mentioned that if she didn't want me there today, then I wouldn't be, but she said she did, and then she started crying…"

"Well obviously you said something." Addison snapped.

"Wait. No. Why is this my fault?" George pulled Addison in to the corner of the room while Derek talked to Ellie. "I've spent all week just being her friend when what I really want to do is hold her in my arms, and every chance you get, you're trying to push her in to talking about the affair, when you know she doesn't want to talk about it!" As low as George tried to keep his voice, Ellie and Derek both turned around. "Why am I the one that gets blamed for her tears? I want her to be okay, and you're more worried about you!"

"That's not true." Addison hissed. Neither party had noticed that Ellie and Derek were listening to the argument. "She wants to remember this stuff too, George."

"I'm not stupid. I know that. But she doesn't need you shoving 'I'm sorry's down her throat when she's still trying to process that she's no longer in New York."

"Stop it." Ellie's voice cracked from the tears as she snapped at George and Addison. "Would you two cut it out?" Ellie took a deep breath. "Just stop. I'm not worth all of this. I don't even remember you, George, and Addie…it still hurts. Really bad and just…stop."

Addison cringed. "Ellie, we just want what's best for you. We want you to remember…"

"Ellie, it's okay." Derek said, putting his hand on her shoulder. George made special note of the fact that she did not move away. "We'll figure out how to make this better."

"Be realistic, Derek. It's not like they make a special band aid for this."

"Eliot, you can't think that way." Addison said, tears in her voice.

"You know what? I can. Because I can't remember anything Addie. NOTHING. I can't remember. And I haven't been able to for nearly a week. It should have fixed itself by now."

George cleared his throat. "El, you just said it yourself. There's no magical way to make this better. It just takes time."

"Screw time." Ellie snapped. "You know what? Maybe I don't want to remember. Maybe I'd rather be mad at you for the rest of my life." Ellie snapped, her comment aimed at Addison. Ellie spun on her heel and walked out of the room.

Derek began to race after her. "Ellie…"

"This is all your fault." Addison snapped.

George's jaw dropped. "Mine? What about you? You're the one that…" Derek's head poked in the door.

"Both of you shut up, damn it. She's scared, and you're being babies."

"We're not being babies." Addison snapped, staring at her husband.

"Yeah well some best friend you are." He hissed back. "She needs your support and you're being beyond ridiculous." Derek sighed. "Like, there's ridiculous, and then there's you."

"Who the hell are you to tell me that I'm being a baby? That out there, is the love of my life. And she doesn't know me. How would you like to feel that way?" Addisons head snapped around to look at George and Derek froze. "What?"

"Have you told her that you love her?" Addison asked. George cocked one eyebrow. "In the last week?"

George shook his head. "No. I didn't want to freak her out."

Derek smiled. "It might not freak her out. It might be just the thing to bring her back."

* * *

George slunk in to the empty gallery and sighed. Okay so it wasn't empty. So what if Ellie was sitting in the room, curled up in the corner, taking slow breaths? 

"Eliot?" Ellie looked up and sighed. "You probably don't want to talk to me…"

"It's not you, George. It's not your fault. Addison has always been the kind of person that was certain she could fix everything if she just worked at it." Ellie scoffed. "Apparently I am not fixable."

George shook his head. "You are, it's just that Addison…she's pushing, and she shouldn't be."

"How are you so perfect?" Ellie asked, her voice coming out as a whisper. "You've spent the last week just being my friend…"

"Ellie…" George sat down across from her and took a deep breath. He reached one hand out for hers and after looking at it reluctantly, Ellie took it. George's whole body warmed. It felt so good to hold her hand. "This is about you being comfortable, and about you getting better. This is not about me, or Derek, or Addison…this is about you. It's about what makes you comfortable, what might help you remember…" George took another deep breath. "We've been dating since the beginning of February, and we moved pretty fast. Not drastically fast, but…" George looked her in the eye, hoping he could see some of the old Ellie, but all he saw was an empty shell. "Ellie, I love you. And you told me that you love me…the reason that I've just been your friend is because, well, one, you don't remember me, and two…I will do just about anything for you." Ellie smiled, and George almost thought that she was coming back, but her eyes still looked empty. "Look…I'm not going to come to the trailer today…I'm going to let Addison and Derek take you." Ellie wrinkled her nose. "Maybe just Derek. Look, the point is…I love you. I will probably always love you. But this is about you taking your time." George placed a soft kiss on her hand and stood. "I'll come see you, okay?" Ellie nodded and George left the room slowly, throwing one last smile at her on his way out. It was only when the door shut that Ellie let her confusion take over and she burst in to tears.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

"Here we are." Derek said, smiling. George had convinced Addison to just let Derek take Ellie to the trailer, even though she hated the idea. Ellie looked out the window of Derek's car and smiled.

"Nice." Ellie turned to him. "This is your property?" Derek nodded. "But I'm living here?"

"Temporarily. Addison hates the trailer, so we moved in to your Dads old place until we can build our own house." Ellie nodded. She'd missed too much. "You want to go in?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "I think I just want to go in myself at first. Get a feel for it?"

Derek nodded. "Okay." Ellie stepped slowly out of the car and walked cautiously across the grass to the front door of the trailer. When she entered, there was a bouquet of white roses, with a card attached.

_White Roses mean Loyalty.  
__Which doesn't really fit.  
__But they're beautiful flowers.  
__And they remind me of you.  
__Because they stand out.  
__Take your time, Ellie.  
__I'll wait.  
__George._

Ellie held the card to her chest, breathing in the scent of the flowers as she closed her eyes. Ellie set the card down and looked around the small space, taking everything in. Table, couch, kitchen, shower, bedroom. It was small, but it seemed like some place she would live. Small and perfect for one. Ellie moved in to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Those were her shoes on the floor, her purse in the corner…Ellie opened the closet and found all of her things, most of which she recognized. The first thing she noticed that she had never seen before was a large white Vera Wang box. Ellie took the box out of the closet and opened it, expecting a dress of some sort, but instead she found dozens of letters. There were seven open letters; six held by a rubber band, and the seventh lying on top of the others. Ellie noticed that they were dated, so Ellie pulled the oldest one out of the rubber-banded letters. Before she opened it, she spotted a note written in Addison's chicken scratch that had to be fairly new.

_Eliot –  
__Happy 30th. I know this wasn't exactly what you were expecting on your 30th birthday, but I needed to give you these. I wrote you every day we weren't talking…I needed my best friend, and I screwed up and hurt you…you know I'm sorry, I've told you I'm sorry, but I know you're still upset with me, and I'm hoping that these will help a little. Most of them are 2 or 3 pages long…it's everything I would have told you if we were talking, from how badly everything was going with Derek to things that made me laugh and think of you. I love you tons, El…you don't have to read all of these right away, but I hope that one day you will read them…because I need you to know…it was never my intention to hurt you. Ever.  
__Addison_

_March 1, 2005_

_He was never supposed to find out like this.  
__Neither were you.  
__I am so sorry, Eliot. Mark and I…we were both just scratching an itch. Desperate people do desperate things, El…I never meant to hurt you.  
__Have you heard all of it? Probably not. Derek doesn't give details when he's upset.  
__Derek left me. Not literally, that you would have known, but figuratively, mentally. Lately he's been caught up in his work, caught up in being a teacher…your teacher. I needed someone to hold on to. Mark was there. You've been so enthralled with finally being Derek's student…you probably barely noticed he was gone.  
__Mark and I were going to end things. I love my husband. I want to be married to him for the rest of my life; I want this to work. I needed Mark for a while, but I don't need him anymore.  
__He was just supposed to come over to talk last night. Things got out of hand. Derek walked in and then turned around and walked out. I tried to follow him, but it was raining, and I didn't know where he would be.  
__But now I know. He went to you. I'm almost positive. I haven't talked to either of you, but where else would he go?  
__I need you to not hate me forever. I screwed up, Ellie, I know that, but you're my best friend. I need my best friend.  
__You're entitled to hate me. You can hate me forever, I just hope…I pray…that you won't.  
__Addison._

_March 2, 2005_

_The look on your face when you opened the door yesterday morning almost made me throw up. I hurt you. I guess I didn't realize that Derek wasn't the only significant other affected by this. You looked like you wanted to kill me. You probably still do. You probably will for a long time.  
__And then Derek slammed the door in my face. Which I'm sure you heard. It caused me so much pain, so much anguish, to know that my own husband is probably never going to speak to me again.  
__What hurt the most was walking out of that building. The first thing I saw was a man on a moped. Remember France and Italy, Ellie? Remember how hard you tried to pronounce _ciclomotore_, because you wanted to ride one so bad, and you just kept butchering it? Mark and I both tried to apologize to that guy, but you'd called him so many names he wouldn't have it. Standing outside your apartment building yesterday morning, I laughed so hard I cried.  
__When I got home, I sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V. (Yes, I am giving you a play by play. No, you are not allowed to give me crap.) I was just going to watch the news or something, but I ended up watching Dumb & Dumber. Bad choice, Addison. Everything in that movie reminds me of you. How many times have we seen Dumb & Dumber? Probably too many to count.  
__You know, two nights ago, when Derek walked in on Mark and I, my first thought was how much he was going to hate me. I didn't even register that you would be the person that I miss the most.  
__I need you to understand how absolutely sorry I am. I made a mistake, Ellie. I just wanted to get Derek's attention, to be noticed…did you know that he looks at you like he used to look at me? With love and adoration. Like you're the most important thing in his life. Which you probably are right now. But it hurts so bad to see the man you love look at another woman that way. I don't think you know what it's like. I hope you never experience it.  
__At work this morning I tried to get your attention. I couldn't tell if you were ignoring me or if you just didn't hear me, but it's probably more likely the first one. You'll talk to me eventually.  
__Remember that time while you were in Med School where you tried to give me the silent treatment? I can still remember the argument we had that made you stop talking to me. You had wanted to go dancing, and I refused to go because you had a final the next day, so you took Derek. And I was so mad at him for going with you and keeping you out late….and you were livid that I was mad at him…you lasted all of three days with the silent treatment though. I was so happy you were talking to me again that I didn't even care that you were yelling at me.  
__That's how I feel now, El. I just want you to talk to me. Yell, scream, tell me I'm a bitch, a whore…God, Ellie, I don't care. I just want you to talk to me.  
__I hope you talk to me soon. I really do. Because it's only been two days, and I don't know how much longer I'll last without you. You're my other half…my soul mate…we share a brain…or four brains, as Derek likes to put it.  
_"_You two each have enough information in your heads to fill two brains. So if you share one brain, you share four brains…"  
__Just talk to me. Please.  
__Addison._

Ellie set the letter on the bed next to the first one and took a deep shaky breath. She had thought that these letters might help, but all they were doing was making her cry. Ellie closed her eyes and leaned back on the bed. It was then that images began to flash in her head. Taking a pregnancy test. Finally having a decent conversation with Addison again. Mark hanging around Seattle Grace waiting to talk to her. George. Ellie sat up. George. She finally saw George. Derek and Meredith dating. Ellie wanted more images. She began to fish through the letters until she found a more recent one.

_January 1st, 2006_

_God I miss you. This sucks. I shouldn't have left. Derek can have his mistress. She's your sister! Did you know that? God. I want to kill myself.  
__This is pathetic. Look, no offense babe, but I should not have to fight an intern for my husband. I know she's your half-sister or whatever, but this is pathetic. It's beyond pathetic. Like, there's pathetic, and then there's this situation.  
__He told me that he fell in love with her. Fell in love. I don't know what to do. I need you here so bad. But I know you'll never come. You're still pissed at me, you're pissed at him for the Meredith thing…if I could get you to come that would be like the best day of my life.  
__Okay, so, we're supposed to be ringing in the New Year together, but we're not. When was the last time we didn't ring in the New Year together? Before we met?_

"Ellie?" Derek interrupted her reading, receiving a frustrated sigh. "What are you doing?"

"It's coming back." She said. "It's really jumpy. The day I took the pregnancy test, my first decent conversation with Addison after the affair…Mark hanging around Seattle…George…you dating Meredith…"Ellie looked down at the letters. "I was reading through these. They were helping…"

Derek kneeled down in front of her. "Ellie, maybe you should take a walk, process everything, and then come back…"

"I don't want to take a walk and process, Derek! I want to remember now."

"Ellie…"

"Stop it." She snapped, causing his eyes to widen. "Do not treat me like one of your patients, Derek. This is temporary amnesia, and if you're not going to help me **get rid of it** then go away."

Derek nodded. "Okay." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "What do you want me to do?" Ellie looked down and closed her eyes. Her mind was a jumbled mess, but she did see one thing. "El…?"

"George." She whispered, the face that had been around so much the last few days playing over and over in her head. "Call George."

**Okay. I know. It's a cliff-hanger of sorts. Go ahead. Hate me. I dare you.**


	38. Over My Head

**This is another one of those DO NOT HATE ME FOR THIS.**

**Sorry this took me so long. Just thinking about Derek kind of makes me sick, so it was a little hard to write.**

**God. He sucks.**

**Half Love**

"**Over My Head"**

_Long ago, I was told there were riches inside of me  
__Someone old hid the gold and the finding was my affair  
__In those days when my ears heard a story, my mind believed  
__So I searched with my greed in the sunshine for all to see there  
__I'm in over my head in this game  
__Over my head  
__And I'm afraid I'm never gonna find my way back to where I've been –  
_"_Over My Head"  
__By: Semisonic_

**May 10th, 2006**

**2:00 P.M.**

Ellie was pacing the property behind the trailer when George and Addison showed up. Derek didn't know what to do except to point George in Ellie's direction and take Addison in to his arms. George made his way slowly around the side of the trailer and cleared his throat.

Ellie spun around and immediately grinned. "George!" Ellie raced to him, hugging him tightly and pressing her lips to his. This surprised George at first, but it didn't take him long to reciprocate, letting their tongues and hands tangle in a duel of who could touch each other more. When they both finally had to take a breath, Ellie stepped back, a grin on her face. "Hi."

George grinned widely. "Hi. You remember."

Ellie nodded vigorously. "Not all of it, but enough that I really needed that."

George laughed. "Me too." He pulled Ellie in to another hug, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, and breathed a sigh of relief. "I missed you."

"I was here George…"

"No." He breathed, making her step back and look up at him. "You were here, but you weren't here." Tears began to come to his eyes and he looked away, unwilling to cry in front of her. "I missed you." When George finally gathered himself enough to look at Ellie, she was crying. "Oh, Ellie…"

"No, it's okay." She said, smiling. "I just…I remembered something else."

George smiled. "Really?" Ellie nodded. "What?"

Ellie grinned. "When Derek called you, all I could remember was meeting you. Then it was the first time we slept together; then it was Mission Impossible Day…" George smiled. "Now…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I love you, George. God…I love you." George grinned widely and pulled Ellie in to a tight hung, spinning her around. Before long she was slammed against the wall of the trailer and they were making out like hungry teenagers, George's hands up her shirt and her fingers threaded through his hair. Addison and Derek had heard the slam from the other side of the trailer, so they slowly made their way around until they realized what they were walking in on.

"You told me she remembered, but I didn't think they were at that place yet."

Derek laughed. "Things could have changed."

Addison smiled. "I'm going to assume that, yes, they have." Addison and Derek made their way around to the front again, leaving Ellie and George alone to finish what it was that they had started.

* * *

"George…" Ellie's voice came out as a gasp as George breathed her name and collapsed against her, leaning her in to the trailer. After a few minutes of slow breathing, both Ellie and George were fully dressed and making their way back around the trailer hand in hand. Addison was sitting by herself on the front steps and smiled when she saw them.

"Hey. Derek got called back to the hospital." Ellie nodded. "How ya doin'?"

Ellie grinned. "Better." She glanced at George, who blushed. "Much better."

"I'm gonna just…" George scurried past Addison and in to the trailer, causing Ellie to let out a laugh.

"So you're starting to remember?"

Ellie nodded and sat down on the steps next to Addison. "Not all of it though. I'm still working on you and me." Ellie looked at Addison and cringed at the pained look on her face. Almost immediately it brought back a memory that Ellie had repressed even before the amnesia.

_Sweat. Tongues. Hands. Clothes flying. Skin. Hair. Passion. Anger. Love, but a different kind. The wrong kind. It was mostly about the anger, and the hurt. And the alcohol had a lot to do with it. His grey sweater hit the door as they stumbled down the hall to her room. When they hit the bed, he was in nothing but boxers, and she wore only a pair of red boy shorts. When her blonde hair tangled in his fingers, it didn't feel the same. When she looked in to his eyes, they were the wrong color blue._

Ellie opened her eyes. She had blocked it out.

"Are you okay?" Ellie looked over at Addison, a look of panic on her face. "El…?"

"I…just…I need to talk to Derek." Addison nodded, confused, but handed Ellie her cell phone.

"Speed dial 2." Ellie nodded and hit 2 as she walked around the side of the trailer.

_Moans. Groans. The smell of alcohol on her breath, the smell of alcohol on his. It wasn't right. It was wrong._

"Hi."

"Derek, it's me." Ellie's voice cracked as she leaned against the trailer.

"Are you okay?"

_Skin on skin. His hands felt right, but she was too drunk to know the difference. Her lips fit his, but he was too drunk to realize that they didn't really._

"Have I been lying to Addison?"

"What?"

_She couldn't even say his name. She let the name Mark slip out of her mouth. He breathed Addison, but he knew that wasn't who he was collapsed against._

"I swore up and down that nothing happened that night…the night we found out…I've been lying haven't I?"

"Ellie…"

_Open eyes. Realization. Nausea. They did not just do that. She pulled on sweats and threw his jeans at him. He looked as guilty as she felt._

Ellie choked out a sob. "Oh God."

"We were both very, very drunk, Ellie. You chose to block it out."

"What am I going to do? I've spent the last year lying to my best friend…and we're as bad as she is."

"Excuse me."

"Derek, we've spent the last year giving Addison all this holier-than-thou shit, and we did it too!" Derek was silent. "I have to go…I have to…"

_She awoke, sweating and crying. He was already awake. The angry sex hadn't phased their friendship. He still knew when she had nightmares. He still knew her better than anyone…anyone except Addison._

"Do not say anything."

"What? Why?"

"I should be the one that tells her this, not you."

"But Derek…"

"No, Ellie…I need to do this."

Ellie sighed. "Okay."

"You promise?"

_He held her while she cried, let her body curl up next to his, and let her fall asleep in his arms. She was his best friend…and he needed her as much as she needed him._

"I promise."

* * *

Derek was pacing the on-call room when Meredith walked through the door.

"Are you alright?"

Derek sighed. "I have to tell Addison something but…ugh…I can't…"

"What do you have to tell her?"

Derek shook his head. "I can't tell you."

Meredith shrugged. "Your wife seems to be a pretty understanding person, Derek."

"It's a pretty bad thing, Meredith."

"If you don't tell me, I can't help you."

"I can't tell you." He snapped, obviously frustrated. "I need you to go."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Surgery is in twenty minutes."

"I know." Meredith left silently and Derek slammed his head down on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what to do. Telling Addison hadn't ever been an issue because Ellie had forgotten about it. She had blocked it out, and telling Addison would have basically meant telling Ellie. But now that Ellie remembered…not telling Addison was no longer an option.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

Every time Ellie closed her eyes, she saw it. The hot, passionate, angry, drunk sex. Ellie was beginning to remember other things, but every few memories she'd get a glimpse of the hot, passionate, angry, drunk sex.

"What is going on with you?" Addison snapped, bringing Ellie back from yet another vision of Derek naked.

"Nothing."

"Ellie, I know you're lying to me." Ellie stared at her. Ellie used to be able to block Addison; she used to be able to keep her from seeing the truth. "I can see right through you."

Ellie shook her head. "Addie, it's nothing."

"I can call George…" Ellie laughed. George had left, sensing that Ellie and Addison had needed time alone once Ellie had come back from being on the phone with Derek.

"You don't need to call George. I'm fine."

Addison shook her head. "You're lying. I know you are…" Just as Addison began to launch in to her 'you're lying' speech, Derek's car pulled up to the driveway, causing Ellie to let out a very obvious sigh of relief. "You really don't want to hang around me that much?"

"No…" Ellie laughed. "No, Addie. I'm just tired, that's all…and I have a lot to process." Addison nodded slowly as Derek came up the steps of the trailer, an envelope in his hand.

"This is from Meredith." Derek said, handing it to Ellie and cocking one eyebrow. In that instant she knew that it wasn't really from Meredith, but she certainly wasn't going to say anything. "You ready?" He asked, turning to Addison. "Ellie probably needs time to process…"

Addison nodded. "Sure." Addison turned to Ellie. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

Ellie gave Addison a genuine smile. "I will." Derek gave her a half-smile and a wink as they headed to his car and Ellie pulled her knees to her chest as they pulled away. She gripped the envelope, feeling its thickness, and headed in to the trailer. She snagged one of George's sweatshirts that had been left there and threw it on before going back outside. She opened the envelope and found three separate letters.

_If I know you like I think I do, you've blocked it out. Yeah, Ellie, it was a mistake, but we're no worse than them.  
__I saw the look on your face when you woke up in the middle of the night and I pulled you in to my arms. You were scared. Ellie, you have to understand, no matter how many drunken mistakes you and I make, whether separately or together, I will always be your best friend. I know you've forever considered Addison your best friend, but something tells me that won't be the case anymore.  
__Sorry. That wasn't very funny. Uh…look, Ellie, I love you. So much. You know that, right?  
__I want you to know, the two of us sleeping together was something that never should have happened, but I don't want it to ruin our friendship. You and I were both very, very drunk, and very angry…it was angry, drunk sex, El. That's all. There's nothing else to it.  
__You might not ever read this, but I certainly hope that if you don't block this event out, you forgive me. And forgive yourself. Because, yeah, we shouldn't have slept together, but we can't kill ourselves over it. After all, it only happened once, and Mark and Addison…well, we're not going to go there.  
__I love you, Ellie. I really do. I'll always love you, and you'll always be my best friend. Please don't forget that.  
__Derek._

Ellie wiped the tears from her face, noticing that her tears had also stained the page in front of her. What she didn't know was that the crying wasn't necessarily going to stop.

* * *

"Derek, what is this about?" Addison asked, leaning back in to the couch. "What's going on?" 

Derek sighed. "This is so hard. I've been hiding something from you…and you're going to hate me…"

"Derek…"

He shook his head. "No, really. I'm almost positive that you're going to hate me."

Addison sighed. He had to be overreacting. "Why don't you just tell me, and we'll see."

He nodded, perching on the coffee table across from her and taking her hands in his. "Have you heard of selective amnesia?"

Addison stared. "I went to med school just like you did, Derek."

"Just keep in mind that this had a lot to do with this."

Addison shrugged. "Okay."

"Meredith wasn't the first person I slept with after I found you and Mark together. There was someone else, but it only happened once, and then there wasn't anyone until Meredith." Addison nodded, only slightly shocked. "She…she blocked it out. She didn't want to remember it."

"Were you really that bad?"

"Addison!" Derek dropped her hands and stood, pacing in front of her.

Addison burst in to a fit of laughter. "Sorry. I'm sorry. Keep going."

"She blocked it out because it shouldn't have happened. We shouldn't have been together…" Derek looked at Addison and immediately she knew who he was talking about.

"But…"

"She blocked it out, Addie. She hasn't been lying to you…she didn't even remember." Derek sighed. "Selective amnesia. She blocked out this horrible memory…"

"When?"

"Uh…"

"Derek, when?"

"The night that we found out. We were both very, very drunk, and angry…that's all it was, Add…angry, drunk sex."

"It doesn't matter what it was. You slept with my best friend."

"Hey!" Derek looked at her with disbelief. "You cannot pull that on me. You slept with mine."

Addison shook her head. "You found out. You knew. I didn't know…you've been lying to me! Both of you!"

Derek shook his head. "No, Addie…Ellie hasn't been lying to you. She didn't even remember until today. Selective amnesia." Addison stood and grabbed her purse and her car keys from the table by the door. "Addison…"

"I can't…Derek, I know I did something wrong, but at least I admitted it. How could you?"

"Addie…" Derek followed her out on to the driveway, barely reaching her before she started the car. "Honey, please."

"Don't. I just…I know I don't have a lot of room to talk, but at least you found out. It's different, Derek. You hid it from me." Addison took a deep breath. "I need to go. I'm sorry. I just can't be around you." Addison pulled out of the driveway, speeding down the road as Derek stood, finally realizing what it felt like to feel really truly broken.

* * *

**5:30 P.M.**

_I'm sorry.  
__I'm so, so sorry.  
__You hate me. You're mad at me. I could tell by your tone of voice on the phone the day that I left. I know…I suck. I get it.  
__I could also tell that Addison was there. She finally showed up, huh?  
__It's been a long time since then. And I'm still sorry. Because I miss you. I miss the one person I had when everything fell apart.  
__And now I've gone and screwed everything up. Your sister. I slept with your damn sister. I guess it's a good thing you blocked out that night…or you would really not be happy with me.  
__I needed to do something to get my mind off of Addison. I'd only been in Seattle a couple of weeks…and I met her at a bar. It was drunken sex. Not angry drunk sex, like ours, but drunken sex.  
__I miss you so much. I want to fly back to New York and see you or fly you out here, because I need you…and I know you need me.  
__I can still tell when you have a nightmare. It's like this alarm clock goes off in my system. If I'm asleep, I wake up. If I'm awake, my breathing gets labored. If I'm in surgery, my hands start to shake. How do I know you this well? It's scary…the only other person I knew like that was Addison.  
__Sometimes I can't sleep because I know she isn't sleeping. I'll pace the room, trying to will myself to go to sleep, but I can't. Because I know she's awake, pacing her room, willing herself to go to sleep.  
__I don't know what I'm going to do. I need you, I need Addison…I'm going nuts. If only you knew…if only you were here.  
__Derek._

Ellie took a deep breath and wiped the tears again. It was so hard reliving all the moments that had happened as she began to remember them. The day Derek called to tell her that he was in Seattle. The morning after everything. The look on Addisons face when she realized that Ellie knew. It was horrible. But there were very few moments that Ellie didn't remember…she was almost back.

Ellie jumped as someone banged on the door. She didn't even think about whom it could be, just wiped her tears and headed for the door. It wasn't until she opened it that she became nauseous and panicked.

"Why?" Addison's voice cracked, and her face was stained with tears. "I mean I know why, but…why didn't you tell me?"

"I blocked it out." Ellie said her voice barely above a whisper. "It was horrible. I was drunk and angry…so was he…we made a mistake. I didn't want to relive it, so I purposely blocked it out."

"You yelled at me. You told me you hated me and that you never wanted to speak to me again…and you did the same thing!"

Ellie shook her head. "No. Not the same thing. Derek and I were together once. Derek and I were drunk. You and Mark…not drunk, and not just once! Before Derek left, after Derek left…God, Addison, it's different!" Ellie took a deep breath. "It's not like I'm not sorry. I am…I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but…it's different."

Addison shook her head. "You lied to me."

"I didn't remember…"

Addison shook her head again, tears streaming down her face. "You lied to me. You told me nothing happened…regardless of whether or not you remembered, you swore that nothing happened…and then today you said nothing was wrong. This is what you were thinking about, wasn't it?"

"Addie…"

Addison shook her head. "I just wanted to know. I wanted to know if you could tell me why. But you can't." Ellie stared, tears on her own face matching Addisons. "I'm going to go. I just wanted to see…"

"Addie…" Addison spun on her heel and raced down the steps and to her car without another word to Ellie. Ellie watched her go, choking back sobs and then grabbed her own car keys. She wasn't going to follow Addison, but there was someone she needed to see.

**I know. Another cliff-hanger. But I'm tired, because I'm trying to write Derek as a nice person and it's hard because I hate him right now. Like HATE HATE. God. He sucks.**

**Anyway, let me know what you think. – Mel.**


	39. Dirty Little Secret

**So I got a way better response to the last chapter than I thought that I would. I figured that you all were going to freak out.**

**I owe so much of the last few chapters to Rissa (Lightning Lindy or Lightning Cory…take your pick). Without her, I don't think I would have finished them.**

**Yeah. Enjoy!**

**Half Love**

"**Dirty Little Secret"**

_Let me know that I've done wrong  
__When I've known this all along  
__Go around a time or two  
__Just to waste my time with you  
__Tell me all that you've thrown away  
__Find out games you don't wanna play  
__You are the only one that needs to know  
__I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
__(Dirty little secret)  
__Don't tell anyone or you'll be just be another regret  
__(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
__My dirty little secret  
__Who has to know –  
_"_Dirty Little Secret"  
__The All-American Rejects_

**May 10th, 2006**

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie raced up the steps of the nursing home as the rain fell, soaking her to the bone. She hadn't really thought to bring a coat…she wasn't paying attention as she left the trailer. Ellie shook as much water off as she could before entering the nursing home.

"Dr. Grey, hello."

Ellie smiled. "Hello Anna. How are you?"

"Good. Can I help you?"

"Actually, I wanted to see my mother."

The woman behind the desk cringed. "There's only 30 minutes left of visiting hours…"

"That's okay. I'd still like to see her."

The woman nodded and handed Ellie a visitors pass. "Sure. Have a good night." Ellie smiled her thanks and raced down the hall, trying to recall her mother's room number. It had less to do with the amnesia than it had to do with Ellie only having gone in there once.

"Can I help you?" A nurse Ellie had genuinely never seen before came out of a room, a pile of towels in her arms.

"Uh, I'm looking for my mother. Ellis Grey."

"210. You were almost there."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you." The nurse nodded and Ellie walked down the hall, poking her head in the door of her mother's room. "Ellis?"

Ellis looked up. "Eliot? What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit." Ellie said, walking in to the room. "Is that alright?"

Ellis nodded. "Absolutely. It's just that…Richard said that you just got out of the hospital…I didn't expect to see you this soon."

Ellie took a deep breath. "I needed a friend."

Ellis smiled. "Well you're always welcome here. What happened to that best friend of yours?"

Ellie sat down in a chair next to Ellis and stared at the floor. "I'm pretty sure that she doesn't want to be my best friend anymore."

"Well why not?" Ellie took a shaky breath and Ellis lifted her chin with two fingers. "Eliot…"

"The night that Derek and I found about her and Mark…we slept together." Ellie said, her voice cracking with tears. "And then I blocked it out."

"Blocked it out?"

Ellie nodded. "Selective amnesia. I completely blocked it out." Ellis nodded slowly. "And then…I remembered it."

"How?"

"When I left the hospital, I couldn't remember anything. The last thing I remembered was finding out about Addison and Mark…" Ellis cringed and Ellie giggled. "That was pretty much my reaction too. When I started being able to remember things…it came back."

"Oh…" Ellis wasn't sure what to say. "What did you do?"

"I talked to Derek…he said that he should be the one to tell Addison, because he had really been the one lying to her, since I had blocked it out." Ellie glanced away from Ellis, tears streaming down her face. "I…she doesn't want to talk to me…I don't know what to do. I'm been giving her hell all year…and I did the same thing."

"Somehow I think it's different."

Ellie shook her head. "She doesn't see it that way. She sees it as the same thing." Ellie began to shake with tears. "I don't know what to do. I can't lose her…Addison's my family."

Ellis put one hand on Ellie's knee and lifted her chin again so that their eyes locked. "You will not lose her. You just need to give her time."

Ellie took a deep shaky breath. "I hope you're right."

"Honey, I'm a surgeon." Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "I'm always right." Ellie cracked a smile and Ellis laughed.

"Dr. Grey?" Both women turned and the nurse remembered that Ellis didn't know Ellie's last name. "Eliot needs to leave…visiting hours are over."

"Are you going to be okay?"

Ellie shrugged. "I think so. I'll probably be back in the morning." Ellis stood as Ellie did and pulled Ellie in to a hug. Ellie almost burst in to tears again, but managed to regain her composure before stepping back from her mother. "Thank you." Ellis nodded and Ellie left, sliding past the nurse just as the tears began to flow down her face.

* * *

**May 11th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie stepped slowly in the front doors of Seattle Grace and took a deep breath. As she had read through more of the letters from Addison and the last one from Derek the night before, she realized that there was almost nothing she didn't remember.

"Ellie!" Ellie froze at the sound of Dereks voice. "Hey, Ellie…" She turned around slowly. "I've been trying to reach you all night."

"I turned off my phone." She said, almost immediately moving away from him.

Derek sighed. "Addison isn't here, Ellie. She went home with Miranda Bailey last night…they won't be in for another hour." Ellie stopped moving and let herself relax. "Did she come see you?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." Ellie looked Derek in the eye. "She's more upset about us lying to her than us sleeping together."

Derek nodded. "I figured as much. But you weren't really lying, you…"

"Derek, I don't want to talk about it." Derek nodded and followed Ellie up the stairs to the next floor.

"Ellie." George breathed as she made it up the stairs. "You turned off your phone…I was freaking out."

Ellie looked down. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to talk to anyone."

"What happened?"

Ellie shook her head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. It's past stuff."

George nodded, pulling her in to a hug. "Okay." George kissed the top of her forehead and stepped back. "You want some coffee?" Ellie nodded and the couple left without acknowledging Derek. He leaned against the railing and watched them go; silently praying that he could get Addison to talk to him when she got to the hospital.

* * *

Addison walked slowly in to the kitchen, her head pounding. She and Miranda had gone out the night before; as soon as Addison had shown up at the hospital with tears on her face. After sleeping on the couch, Addison ached. Miranda had offered her a bed, Addison remembered that, but Addison was pretty sure that she had fallen asleep on the couch. 

"Good Morning." Addison was startled by the low voice of a man.

"Oh. Good Morning Tucker."

"Sleep well?" He asked, a low chuckle accompanying the question.

Addison sighed. "Making fun of me isn't really in your best interest…"

"Oh and why is that?" He asked, grinning and handing her a cup of coffee. "Going to threaten my wife's career?"

Addison shook her head. "Are you kidding? Your wife scares me more than I scare her…I can assure you of that."

"It's the whole Nazi thing." Tucker said, smiling. "It gets to people."

Addison let out a laugh. "It certainly does." Addison grinned as Miranda came in to the kitchen, baby William in her arms. Tucker and Miranda's interaction with each other and William brought tears to Addison's eyes. She set the untouched cup of coffee down on the counter and placed one hand on her lower stomach.

"Are you alright Addison?" Miranda asked, startling Addison.

"Oh. Yeah…I'm fine."

"Do you need anything for your coffee?" Tucker asked, opening the fridge.

Addison shook her head. "No thanks, Tucker. I actually shouldn't be drinking coffee right now." Miranda stared at her but after a few seconds, she understood. "Yeah."

"How far along?"

Addison smiled. "Seven and a half weeks."

"Does Richard know?" Addison nodded. "Is he okay?"

Addison laughed. "He'll be fine. Richard knows how that I'll be back after I have the baby."

"Are you going to be alright at work this morning?" Miranda asked. Tucker took William from her and left the room, immediately aware that this was a private conversation. "I mean…"

Addison nodded. "Yes. I'll be fine." Addison sighed. "You know Ellie is supposed to be chief resident?"

Miranda nodded. "Richard and I already talked about it. I'm going to start my fellowship at the end of the month to give her time to readjust."

"I'm sure she wouldn't want you pushing your fellowship back."

"Grey doesn't really get any say in it." Miranda said, leaning against the fridge. "I'm the one that she's replacing, and Richard is her boss. We decide. She really shouldn't even be at work today."

"She's at work today?" Addison asked, startled. "I thought that I was just going to have to deal with Derek…"

"I just talked to Richard, he wanted me to tell you. I guess she called this morning and said that if he didn't let her come back today she'd go back to New York."

"That's an empty threat." Addison said, rolling her eyes. "She won't go back to New York…George is here, and Mark is there. She wouldn't leave."

Bailey shrugged. "I guess she sounded pretty serious."

Addison shook her head. "Ellie wouldn't leave." Miranda nodded slowly and left. As adamant as Addison was, both women were a little unsure if maybe Addison was kidding herself.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie knocked lightly on Richard's door, a sheepish look on her face.

"Come on in, Eliot." Ellie came in to his office and stood in front of his desk. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't think that I can do this."

Richard nodded. "I knew you shouldn't have come back to work this soon, I told you…"

"That's not what I'm talking about." Richard raised one eyebrow. "I don't think I can be here." Ellie took a shaky breath. "Addison's been here three hours, and it's been killing me since the minute she walked in. I think I'd be better off in New York. No one hates me there."

"Addison doesn't hate you." Richard said, noticing that Addison had stepped in to the open doorway of his office. "She's just upset."

"She has every right to be." Ellie said, sighing. "I just can't handle it."

Richard shook his head. "It's been three hours, Eliot. Addison endured you and Derek ignoring her and being horrible to her for months on end. Don't you think you're backing down a little soon?"

"Addison's a lot stronger than I am. And it's not like I'm fighting her for something."

"Eliot…"

"I'm not. It's not like I want Derek. She's upset…and is completely entitled to be, but I don't want to deal with it. I can't…"

"You're being such a child." Addison said, causing Ellie to jump.

"What do you know?" Ellie snapped, barely looking at Addison.

"I know that you and Derek tortured me for months, and now I treat you like you treated me for three hours and you 'can't handle it'? Jeez Ellie…"

"You handled it because you're stone-cold." Addison's eyes widened. "You were horrible to everyone, snapping and yelling at people like it was all everyone else's fault instead of your own."

"This is not about then." Addison said, stepping further in to Richard's office and shutting the door. "This is about now. This is about you and Derek lying to me…"

"I wasn't." Ellie choked out. "I blocked it out, Addison. I was that disgusted with myself. I never planned on sleeping with your husband…what don't you understand about that?"

"It's not about you sleeping with him. I understand that you were upset, that you were drunk, and angry…but you lied to me."

"Derek lied to you."

Addison shook her head. "No. You both lied to me."

"Addie…"

"Stop telling me that you blocked it out! I know that." Ellie held her hands up in defense, taking a step back from Addison. "I find it hard to believe that you blocked it out because you didn't want to remember…I think you just didn't want to tell me."

"Add…"

"You always have been rather close to him…"

"Oh My God!" Ellie kicked the nearest chair. "I am not in love with Derek. God…"

"Maybe I'd believe you if you hadn't slept with him and then lied about it."

"Why am I any different than you? Huh?"

"Because you knew about Mark and I. You knew."

Ellie scoffed. "_Eventually_. But not at first…you spent Valentines Day with him for crying out loud. Derek and I didn't know then."

"Derek didn't care."

"Obviously he did, or he wouldn't have showed up at my apartment in a shocked stupor and then proceeded to drink himself to sleep, basically."

"Yeah, basically. He had sex with you first."

"Addison…"

"I'm not backing down on this. I've been the one that sits and waits for Derek to get over Meredith, and for you to get over the Mark thing…I'm done waiting. I get to be pissed."

Ellie nodded. "Fine. Whatever."

"If you can't handle it, then go ahead, go back to New York. You've always been a lot like Derek…run all the way across the country. It'll solve all of your problems." Ellie took one last look at Addison and then left the room, shutting the door behind her. Ellie raced past George and Meredith and in to the nearest on call room. Unfortunately, it was the exact on call room where Derek was hiding.

"Are you alright?" He asked. Ellie jumped in surprise and then reached for the door handle. "Ellie, wait…"

"Don't." She said, opening the door. "Don't come anywhere near me." Ellie left the room quickly, but Derek was right behind her.

"Ellie…"

Ellie spun around as Addison and Richard came out of his office. "Derek…" Ellie glanced around the hall and realized that a large portion of the staff was standing in the hallway. "Forget it."

"No, Ellie, wait…"

"We are not doing this here." She hissed. "Not in front of your wife, my sister, my boyfriend and half the hospital. Not happening."

"We've already made a scene. We might as well finish it."

"This isn't going to be a scene, Derek. It's going to be a freaking Broadway musical."

"Always have to relate everything back to New York, don't you?"

"Are you trying to provoke me?" She hissed. At this point their voices were relatively close to whispers, but most of the staff was still watching them.

"Yes. You keep everything back, Ellie. Addison's the only one that used to be able to read you, and now you won't even open yourself up enough for that."

"What is it that you want from me, Derek?"

"You need to open up, Ellie. This is what caused the ulcer in the first place…"

"You want me to open up?" She snapped, her voice rising. Derek nodded. "Fine. Don't follow me, don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't call me, don't show up at the trailer, don't ask Meredith or George about me…you are the last person I want to talk to right now." Derek's eyes widened. "I don't want to be anywhere near you unless I have to." Ellie stared at him. "What? Now you're speechless?"

"Ellie…"

"Because you were an asshole, my best friend chose to make a mistake. Because you walked away and showed up at my apartment, I made the choice to sleep with you. Because you left New York for Seattle, you met Meredith…and then broke her. Because you met Meredith, Addison has been through hell. I'm tired of you. You're a goddamn hypocrite…although, technically, so am I…" Derek stood in front of her speechless, and George was looking back and forth between Ellie and Derek and Addison. Did she just say that she slept with Derek? "Don't talk to me until I talk to you. Otherwise we're going to have a serious problem." Ellie turned around and walked away, heading down the stairs. George took a deep breath and followed her while Derek turned around slowly.

"Alright. Show's over." Richard snapped, signaling for Derek to follow him in to his office. Derek walked past Addison, barely making eye contact with her before he shut the door to Richard's office. It was then that Derek was pegged in the back of the head with what felt like a pen. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

* * *

"Ellie wait." Ellie froze at the bottom of the steps. She had forgotten that George was in the hall…she had just announced to the world that she slept with her best friend's husband…in front of her boyfriend. "Ellie…" She turned around, her face red and tears in her eyes. 

"I…"

"Ssshhh…you don't have to say anything." George pulled her in to a hug and kissed the top of her forehead. "What's past is past." Ellie let out a sigh in to George's chest and hugged him tighter. "I don't care what happened a year ago. I just want to know…it's not going to happen again, is it?"

Ellie looked up at him and smiled. "No, George. That was a mistake…I don't cheat…especially not on men that I love." George smiled and placed a soft kiss on her lips, pulling her close to him. They stood like that until both of their beepers went off and they had to leave the stairwell and run in different directions.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

Addison had gone home early on Richards orders; the stress she was currently going through wasn't good for the baby, and he certainly wasn't going to be the cause of something happening to her unborn child. When she reached the front door of Miranda's home, a bouquet of red roses and a DVD were sitting on the front porch. Addison picked both up and read the car taped to the DVD as she went inside.

_A –  
__Red Roses mean Love and Passion…  
__Hopefully you remember that…  
__I love you so much.  
__I hope you know that.  
__Consider this part one of my apology.  
__D._

Addison set the roses on the counter and snagged the remotes from the coffee table. After playing with the buttons for a few minutes, Addison placed the DVD from Derek in to the DVD player and sat down on the couch. The Beatles song _Can't Buy Me Love_ immediately began to play and text came on to the screen.

_Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be._

Addison smiled as footage of their wedding day came on to the screen, starting with the ceremony, and their first kiss as a married couple. Addison was grinning profusely as she watched herself walk down the aisle, hand in hand with Derek, who was whispering what she remembered to be very dirty things in to her ear. The shot cut to one of Derek sitting in the living room of the house they were currently living in.

"_Remember what I was whispering to you Addie? All the different places we could have sex on the way to the reception, at the reception, and after the reception…"_ Addison laughed and a shot of them dancing came on to the screen. _"You looked so beautiful that day, Addie…and you look more beautiful every time I look at you."_

_Savvy's face popped on to the screen. "They're finally married!" She shrieked in to the camera. "And we thought they'd stay single best friends forever."_

_Ellie's face came on to the screen, right next to Marks. "Do you understand how anal Addison was about this?" Ellie asked, turning to Mark._

_Mark nodded. "Oh I know. The amount of things that had to be just right…"_

"_Well, it is her wedding…"_

_Mark grinned. "True. You realize she's a Shepherd now?"_

_Ellie nodded, grimacing. "I know. I feel kind of bad for her."_

_Mark laughed. "Oh. Me too."_

Addison was crying on the couch as she watched the tape, which proceeded to go in to more footage from the wedding, followed by shots of their honeymoon. The tape cut to a shot of Derek lying in bed, and Addison began to laugh even before anything happened.

"_Derek…Derek, wake up." The camera zoomed in on Derek, and almost immediately Derek shot up, roaring. Addison shrieked and dropped the camera. The floor of the hotel room was the only thing in view, but the crashing of Addison and Derek as Derek tackled her for yet another round of vigorous sex were heard loud and clear._

_Derek's face came on to the screen again. "Addie, I love you. So much. And I am so, so, sorry. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate hurting you. I hate seeing the look in your eyes when I've done something else to hurt you…God, I am so sorry."_ Addison wiped tears from her cheeks as she continued to watch the DVD, which ended up being about twenty minutes of footage from the last eleven years, from their fabulous times to the times when Addison was so angry that Derek had the camera on that she almost broke it. His final statement was what broke her. _"I guarantee that there'll be tough times; I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing; But I also guarantee, that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life... because I know in my heart, that you're the only one for me." Derek looked through the T.V. as if he was looking straight at Addison. "I will forever love you. My hope is that you will forever love me."_ The tape cut out, and Addison, in tears, picked up the phone. Her intent had been to wait it out; to make him suffer, but to make him suffer was to suffer herself.

"Hello?"

"Derek…"

"You watched it."

"Yeah." Addison smiled. "I watched it."

**Okay. That's it. I know. Most of you are going…she is NOT already okay with this…just you wait. Just…wait. Addison is no weakling here kids… - Mel.**


	40. Why

**Half Love**

"**Why"**

_It's 3 AM and I finally say  
__I'm sorry for acting that way  
__I didn't really mean to make you cry  
__Oh baby, sometimes I wonder why  
__Does it always have to come down  
__To you leaving, before I'll say 'I love you'  
__Why do I always use the words  
__That cut the deepest  
__When I know how much it hurts you  
__Oh baby why, do I do that to you –  
_"_Why"  
__By Jason Aldean_

**May 12th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Addison awoke to the overpowering smell of pancakes and bacon, which had recently been the only thing she'd found at all appealing in the mornings. And the only person that knew that was Derek. Addison made her way out of the spare bedroom and in to the kitchen, barely catching Miranda and Tucker leaving through the front door.

"Good Morning." Derek said, grinning as he leaned against the counter.

"What are you doing here?"

"Part two." He said half-smiling and turning back to the food.

"Oh." Addison sat down at the counter and sighed.

Derek turned around, a pained look on his face. "I'm sorry. I thought…after last night…I thought this would be okay..."

Addison smiled. "It's fine, Derek. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

Derek cocked one eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Look, I'll go. The food is almost done anyway…" Derek moved to leave but Addison stepped in front of him.

"Don't leave." She whispered, avoiding his stare. "Stay. Please."

Derek smiled. "Okay." He went to hug Addison but she stepped back, leaning against the counter. "Uh…so…" Derek looked around the kitchen as if he was lost. Addison had never backed away from a hug. He wasn't sure what to do. "Um…"

"Full sentences, babe."

Derek looked up when she said babe and smiled. "I didn't mean to keep you up late last night."

Addison shrugged. "It was good to talk to you…to just talk."

Derek smiled and began to dish pancakes and bacon on to plates. "Yeah. It was." He handed one plate to Addison and took a deep breath. "Have you talked to…?"

"No." Addison said, opening the fridge and grabbing the syrup. "I don't want to talk about it."

Derek nodded, sitting down next to her at the counter. "Okay."

Addison took a bite of the pancakes and let out a low moan. "Oh my God, Derek…how do you cook this well?"

"It's an art, really." Addison laughed and Derek couldn't help but grin. He loved hearing her laugh.

* * *

"I screwed up so bad." Ellie said, leaning against the headboard in Meredith's room. "I suck." 

"You don't suck. Everybody screws up, El. I slept with him too, remember?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow at Meredith. "You didn't want me to remind you of that, did you?"

"No." Meredith laughed and Ellie sighed. "Addison's never going to speak to me again."

"Um. If she's going to spend time calling you a hypocrite and then do that then she's as much of a hypocrite as you are."

Ellie sighed. "I guess so."

Meredith shook her head. "No, Ellie, seriously. She can't not talk to you for a one-night stand. You forgave her for an affair. That would be even more hypocritical than you and Derek sle…"

"Do not say it. Please."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. What time do you have to be in?"

Ellie sighed. "10. I don't know if I can go in…"

"Ellie." Meredith snapped, getting a jump from her sister. "Quit being a baby."

"Hey…"

"You are a lot stronger than this. You're letting this one thing bring you down…"

"It's not one thing, Meredith! It's a lot of things…"

"A lot of things that you can fix." Meredith stood and walked towards the bedroom door. "I used to think that the world was against me. But recently I've realized that I was just bringing myself down…Ellie…you're doing to same thing."

"I am not."

Meredith nodded. "You are. And you need to get off your ass and quit being a child." Ellie stared at her sister. "Don't look at me like that. I know Addison isn't speaking to you, but you're not four. And this whole you yelling at Derek in the middle of the hospital thing…it's a little absurd." Ellie slid off the bed and walked past Meredith out of the room. "Where are you going?"

"If I wanted Addison to talk to me about this…I'd talk to Addison." Ellie left the room, leaving Meredith a little shell shocked.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Derek spotted his wife down the hall and grinned. They'd had a very good morning, and he was hoping that it was going to get better. After snagging Addison by the arm and pulling her in to the nearest lining closet, he shoved Addison against the door and pressed his lips to hers. At first she fought him, but then she began to kiss him back. He couldn't help but smile as he hoisted her in to the air and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Derek's hands went up her blouse and that's when Addison froze.

"Stop." Derek was startled by the demand in her voice, but he slowly let go of her, letting her slide down the wall and set her feet on the floor.

"Addie…"

"I…I can't do this. Not yet. I keep picturing you and Ellie…"

Derek stared. "Addison…you don't even know…it wasn't…"

"I know. It's nothing compared to you seeing Mark and I, I know that, but I just…I can't. I'm not ready to forgive you yet."

Derek looked down, obviously pained. "I understand that, I just…I don't know what I'll do if you don't…"

"I'm just not ready to yet." Addison said, lifting his chin so that she could look in to his eyes. "Just give me time, okay?"

Derek nodded. "I'll give you as much time as you need…it's just so hard…"

Addison nodded. "I know, Derek." Addison hugged him, burying her head in his chest. "I love you; this is just tough for me."

Derek nodded. "Okay." Addison pulled back from the hug and they left the closet together, almost immediately running in to Ellie. Ellie didn't see them at first, she was walking down the hall staring at a chart, but when she glanced up to make sure she didn't run in to anyone she froze. She stared at them for a minute, noticing that Derek was standing very close to Addison, got a pained look on her face and began to walk away. "Ellie…" Derek's voice made her stiffen, and she ducked in to the nearest empty room. Meredith was coming down the hall from the other direction, and followed Derek and Addisons gaze to the slowly shutting door. After shooting Derek a look, Meredith followed her sister in to the room. "Uh…" Addison stared at him, as if willing him to go after Ellie. "What?"

"Aren't you going to make sure she's okay?" Addison snapped. "Isn't that what you two do? Like, check up on each other every five minutes?"

"Addison…"

"No, seriously. Go. Make sure she's okay. Be her rock, Derek."

"Don't you think it should be you?" He snapped, aggravated. "You're the one that's mad at her." Addison raised her eyebrows. "You're the one blowing this out of proportion."

"I am not blowing this out of proportion! I have every right to be upset."

"She didn't remember, Addison. She forgot. She wasn't lying to you!"

"She was. Because she chose to block it out…" Addison took a deep breath. "We're not having this discussion right now." Addison turned and walked away just as Meredith exited the room.

"Oh, no you don't." Meredith snapped, walking briskly after Addison. "You and I need to have a conversation." Meredith grabbed Addison by the arm and pulled her in to the linen closet that Addison and Derek had just exited, leaving Derek alone and very confused in the hall.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Addison snapped, wrenching her arm free of Meredith's grasp. "Don't you have someone to be screwing right now?" 

Pain washed quickly over Meredith's face before she snapped back in to her former "kill" mode. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked, leaning against the door. All of a sudden she felt very dizzy.

"She's dying, Addison. She's emotionally dying." Meredith sighed. "And so is he."

"How do you think I felt? When they did this to me?"

"You had an affair, Addison. They had a drunken, angry, soon-to-be-forgotten-one-night-stand. It's different."

"That's not what's bothering me." Meredith cocked one eyebrow. "Okay, so that's part of what's bothering me. But what's bothering me the most is that they lied to me."

"Addison, Ellie blocked it out." Addison opened her mouth to speak, but Meredith continued. "I know, you've heard that a thousand times, but Ellie isn't the kind of person that would lie to you. You know that." Addison nodded, bringing one hand to her head. "She genuinely forgot…and that's what kills her the most. And yeah, Derek lied to you, but only because telling you would have meant telling Ellie…"

"He could have told me without telling Ellie."

"Yeah? And how would that have worked? You would have gone to Ellie to talk, or yell, and she would have denied it…I mean seriously." Meredith sighed. "Look, all I'm saying is that she's killing herself over this, and…you just can't stay mad at them forever."

Addison nodded. "I know that. It's just hard."

Meredith nodded. "I'm sure it is. I just…I don't like seeing her in this much pain."

Addison shook her head. "Neither do I."

"Okay." Meredith smiled. "At least we're in agreement."

Addison shrugged. "I guess."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Good." Meredith flashed Addison a grin and left the linen closet. Addison leaned against the wall, trying to relax, but when she left the linen closet a few minutes later, she was still a little shocked. Meredith Grey had just yelled at her. Like really yelled. Addison wasn't going to deny that Meredith was right, after all, Addison couldn't stay mad at them forever. As Addison approached the nearest desk, Ellie came up from the other direction, completely avoiding Addison.

"Line One, Dr. Grey." Debbie said, smiling.

"Thanks." Ellie noticed that Addison was leaning against the counter behind her, flipping through a chart as she picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi."

Ellie's stomach dropped. She wasn't prepared for this. "Oh. Hi."

"Your message said that you wanted to talk to me."

"This really isn't the best time, I'm at work."

"I noticed. I don't really have a lot of other time, though, El…"

Ellie sighed. "Fine. Let me find somewhere more private."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone and began to walk slowly down the hall.

"Ellie." Ellie flinched but kept on walking. "Ellie!"

"I have to take this call, Addison." She said, turning around slowly. "I can't argue with you right now." Ellie headed back down the hall, trying to remain composed.

"I don't want to…Eliot!" Ellie froze and then slowly turned a pained look on her face. "I was just going to tell you that you can use my office."

"Oh." Ellie forced a smile. "Thanks." Addison nodded and Ellie moved quickly down the hall, ducking in to Addison's office. Ellie sat down in the chair and took a deep breath before picking up line one. "Okay."

"What's going on, Ellie?"

Ellie took another deep breath. "This is hard. I'm not even sure how much it's going to matter, but I thought you should know."

"Ellie…just tell me."

"You do not get to do that thing where you get aggravated with me. I need you to be the guy that I fell in love with."

"Ellie…"

"Mark, please."

Mark sighed. "Okay."

"Okay. Remember the night Derek walked in on you and Addison?"

"Vividly."

"Well, Derek showed up at my place…"

"I know, El. I've heard this story before."

"Mark!"

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry, keep going."

"I slept with Derek."

"Say that again?"

"I slept with Derek. That night…we were drunk, we were angry…"

"I can't believe this."

"Mark…"

"You're hypocrites, both of you."

"I blocked it out, Mark. I selectively forgot it. I didn't want to remember. I felt horrible…"

"Stop."

"But…"

"Stop it, Ellie. I…does Addison know?"

Ellie's breath caught in her throat. "Yeah. She knows."

"Let me guess…she's not talking to you."

"Mark, I did not call you to talk to you about Addison!" Ellie was facing away from the door, and didn't notice that Addison was standing in the doorway. "It kills me that she's not talking to me. I don't think you understand…"

"No. I understand. I was with Addison when you did it to her."

"Mark…"

"No, Ellie. You don't get to be a baby about this. Be an adult. Obviously you can make adult decisions…after all; you slept with your best friend's husband."

"Don't pull that on me. You slept with your best friend's wife. You did the same thing…for a lengthened period of time!"

"You forgave her. Now she's mad at you. Get over it."

Ellie groaned. "This conversation is not about Addison and I, Mark. I thought you deserved to know."

"You know what, I'm glad you told me. Every time Derek pisses her off is one more opportunity for me…"

"If you try anything, I swear to God…"

"What are you going to do, Ellie? Beat me up?"

"She's pregnant, Mark! She's not going to leave her husband." Mark was silent on the other end for a few seconds, and behind Ellie, Addison was smiling. Although she really wasn't sure why.

"She's pregnant?"

"Yeah. Seven and a half weeks. This thing you're trying to pull…it's over. Addison is happy…maybe not right this second…but she is. You're done, Mark. Finished. No more."

"I got it, El. Thank you for reiterating it so many times." At this Ellie couldn't help but laugh. And her stress overpowered her control and she burst in to a fit of laughter. "Ellie…Ellie, it's not funny!"

"I'm sorry, Mark." Ellie said, trying to control herself. "I'm stressed and it was sort of funny…it kind of overpowered me."

"Whatever. This conversation is over."

"Mark…"

"I'll talk to you later, Ellie."

"Okay. Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and leaned back in the chair. "How much of that did you hear?"

Addison jumped. "You…how did you know…?"

"Honey, please." Ellie laughed and spun the chair around so that she was facing Addison. "I've been able to sense you for years. Plus you're wearing that Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue perfume Derek got you…I can smell it."

Addison laughed and sat down across from Ellie. "You're pretty good."

Ellie grinned. "Well, I try." The women sat in silence for a few minutes before Ellie spoke again. "I didn't mean to tell him about the pregnancy…"

"It's okay. He would have found out eventually." Addison took a deep breath. "Your sister yelled at me."

Ellie grimaced. "I'm sorry, Addison. I didn't…"

"Don't worry about it. She was right."

Ellie stared. "I'm sorry…what?" Addison laughed. "Did you just say my sister was right? As in Meredith Grey?"

"Yeah, El." Addison said, giggling. "I did."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Interesting. And what was it that she said?"

"That I can't stay mad at you forever." Ellie sobered. "But I am entitled."

"I never said you weren't." Ellie leaned against the chair. "I just never realized how much it hurt." Addison cocked one eyebrow. "When I wasn't talking to you, it hurt, but not this bad. Now…you're the one with all the power, and it kills me." Ellie looked down. "It really does." Addison's heart ached. As much as she wanted to stay mad at Ellie, Ellie needed a hug as much as Addison did. Addison stood, but had to immediately sit. Ellie's head whipped up. "Add?"

"I'm okay. I just got a little dizzy."

"You should really lie down."

"No, I'm fine."

Ellie sighed. "Addison, like it or not, you're my best friend, and I'm not going to be responsible for you passing out. Not to mention, Derek would kill me if I let his pregnant, dizzy, wife walk around the hospital. You're going to lie down." Addison groaned with protest, but let Ellie help her to the couch and lie down. "I'm going to call Derek."

"Eliot, please. Dizziness is normal with pregnancy…"

"I know, Add, but Derek would kill me if I didn't call him."

Addison sighed. "Fine. Whatever."

"Don't 'fine, whatever' me, woman." Ellie said. Addison laughed. "I'm going to call your loving husband."

Addison smiled. "Okay." Ellie stood and picked up the phone, dialing Derek's cell phone.

"Y'ello."

"Oh look, Derek's a yawntoo."

"Excuse me?"

"A yawntoo. You like, 'Yawntoo go to Joe's?' Hick. Moron. Whichever you prefer."

"That's nice, Ellie. Really."

"Well I try. Look, I'm calling because Addie was a little dizzy…"

"What?"

"Whoa. Don't freak out. She's fine, she's lying down; I just thought you would want to know."

"Where are you?"

"Her office. She didn't pass out; she was just a little dizzy."

"I'm on my way."

"Uh…" Before Ellie could respond, Derek had hung up the phone. "Maybe that wasn't the best plan."

Addison giggled. "Yeah. Maybe not."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Ellie was walking down the hall when someone grabbed her arm from the side and pulled her in to a closet. Ellie was immediately flattened against the wall and George's lips were on hers, his hands up her shirt.

"Ho. Whoa. George…" Ellie's protests were stopped by George's lips on her neck in the one spot that made her weak. "George…"

"What?" He asked, stepping away.

"I was on my way to check on Addison…"

George shook his head. "Addison's fine. I've missed you."

Ellie grinned. "I've missed you too. But I need to check on her. She was really dizzy this morning, and hasn't been able to get up since. Derek thinks…"

"Oh, Derek thinks?" George stepped back. "So now Derek's in charge?"

Ellie stared. "George, what…?"

"You know, I've tried to ignore it, but I don't think I can anymore. Not now that I know that you two slept together."

"Oh, come on…"

"No. You and Derek are too close for your own good. And for everyone else's good." George sighed. "I can't do this right now."

"Do what?"

"Be with you. It's too much. I can't…I'm sorry…"

George headed out in to the hall, but Ellie was on his heels. "George…"

"Don't do this here. You've caused enough scenes this week."

Ellie stared at him. "What has gotten in to you? What happened to loving me? No matter what?"

"I tried…but this whole Derek and Addison thing takes a lot out of you, which takes a lot out of me…I just…I can't right now. You need to get everything back on track with them before you start anything else."

"George, no." Ellie shook her head. "I need you, George. I love you."

George shook his head. "I'm sorry." George took off down the hall, leaving Ellie standing alone in the middle of the hall. After taking a few deep breaths and wiping her tears, Ellie went in to Addison's office, where Addison was still on the couch, although now she had sat up.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." Addison looked at Ellie skeptically. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"El…" Ellie sat down next to Addison on the couch just as Derek came in to the room. "Ellie…"

Ellie choked out a sob. "I did it again. I drove him away…"

"Ellie what are you talking about?" Derek asked, sitting down across from her.

Ellie shook her head. "Forget it. Addie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Addison moved further in to a sitting position. "Eliot, I may be upset with you, but I am still your best friend. Open your mouth and tell me what happened."

Ellie sighed. "George. He left. He said he couldn't be with me anymore, that it was too much…" Addison let out a small gasp and sat all the way up, pulling Ellie in to a hug. Ellie sobbed in Addison's arms, and as Addison ran her hand over Ellie's hair, trying to get her to calm down, Derek slipped out the door, on a mission no one wanted to get in the way of.

**Dun DUN DUN! Yep. That's the cliffhanger. Oh shoot dang…and a possible hiatus seeing as I am currently failing math. Dontcha love me now?**

**Mel.**


	41. What's Left Of Me

**Guess who's back…back again…Mel is back…tell a friend…**

**Half Love**

"**What's Left Of Me"**

_I've been dying inside, little by little  
nowhere to go, but goin' out of my mind  
in endless circles, runnin' from myself until  
you gave me a reason for standing still  
__'cause I want you, and I feel you  
crawling underneath my skin  
like a hunger, like a burning  
to find the place I've never been  
now I'm broken, and I'm fading  
I'm half the man I thought I would be  
But you can have, what's left of me –  
_"_What's Left of Me"  
__By Nick Lachey_

**May 12th, 2006**

**3:00 P.M.**

George slammed against the back wall of the interns' locker room, taking slow deep breaths as he slid to the floor. Had he really just done that? Had he really just broken up with Ellie? George put his head in his hands, but it wasn't long before someone else was in the locker room with him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Derek asked, pulling George to his feet by his collar. George tried to fight Derek off, but Derek slammed George in to the wall. "What is it with you? Can't handle a little challenge, O'Malley? Not everyone's as perfect as you think you are." George shoved at Derek's chest, but Derek wouldn't let go of him. "You don't get to do that to her. If you're too much of a chicken shit to handle someone as amazing as Ellie…I can't believe you." Derek thrust George in to the wall, and George cringed as the back of his head hit the wall.

"What are you doing?" George managed to get out as Derek held him against the wall.

"No one hurts my best friend like that. No one."

"Yeah? Did you hit Mark?" Derek let go of George with his right hand and brought it back, swinging and hitting George in the chin. "Shit! Derek!"

"It's Dr. Shepherd." Derek said, dropping George to the floor. One hand went to George's chin, and George cringed. "What? Does that hurt?"

"You're an ass!" George said, standing up and looking Derek in the eye. "How could this possibly be my fault? I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask to be dragged in to your fucked up little family, I just happened upon it." Derek stared at him. "If the three of you weren't so screwed up, this wouldn't be a problem!" George felt his chin again, cringing. "This is not my fault."

"You broke up with her. Ellie's already been hurt a lot recently…and you just take the cake."

"The rest of that has nothing to do with me." George brushed past Derek and to the mirror, wiping the blood off of his chin. "I didn't want to be part of this screwed up little thing you three have going on. I wanted to be with Ellie…I didn't realize that I would be dragged in to the middle of this shit."

Derek looked down. George was right. "Look, I just…I…I don't want to see her hurt again. And I know you didn't ask to be involved…but you are involved. And I don't know what to tell you. Tough shit, man. But hurting her doesn't make your situation any better." Derek took a deep breath. "If you hurt her again…you're going to get more than a sock in the jaw. You can trust me on that one." George rolled his eyes and Derek grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him and slamming him in to the lockers. "Do not mess with me, O'Malley."

"Get off me, you dick." George said, shoving Derek away. "Stay the hell away from me." Derek shot one last look at George and left the locker room, shaking his hand to get rid of the pain from hitting George in the jaw. George looked in the mirror and grimaced. This was not good.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie shrugged up the stairs to Meredith's front door, praying that either her sister or Izzie would be the one to answer the door. Ellie had talked to Addison for a while, but their temporary rift made it hard for Ellie to fully let go. And Ellie needed someone. As Ellie reached the front door, she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, shifting from one foot to the other. She looked up as the front door opened, and her face paled.

"Hi." George smiled and Ellie grimaced, not noticing the stitches on his chin.

"Uh…I…is Meredith here?"

George shook his head. "No. She's out with Finn."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. Well…tell her I stopped by." Ellie spun quickly on her heel and headed down the steps.

"Ellie, wait." Ellie kept moving and George raced after her. "Ellie…" He gripped her arm and she froze.

"George…don't." She said, wrenching free of his grasp. "I can't…I didn't come here to see you."

"I know." He said, gripping her arm again and pulling her around so that he could look her in the eye. "But I'm glad you're here."

Ellie shook her head. "I…no. I dragged you in to something that you shouldn't have to be a part of…the three of us are trying to work on a relationship that needs a lot of work, and I shouldn't have dragged you in to that."

"You didn't drag me in to it." George said, staring her in the eye as rain began to fall. "I want to be a part of your life, Ellie."

"Not that part."

"Maybe not…but it's my choice. And earlier…I overreacted…I lost my cool."

Ellie shrugged, wiping the rain from her eyes. "Maybe so, but you have every right to." Ellie sighed. "You were right. It's too much at once. Maybe you and I should wait to get back together until after all of this is resolved."

"I don't want to." George said, sighing. "I shouldn't have broken up with you, Ellie. I'm so sorry…"

Ellie shook her head. "I can't put you through this. It's not fair to you." She wrenched free of his grasp and raced to her car without another word.

"Ellie! Eliot!" George followed her down the driveway, but she sped away before he could get to her car. George stood in the rain and watched her drive away, the rain soaking him to the bone. Izzie pulled up a couple of minutes later, and grabbed George by the arm without a word and led him in to the house.

* * *

Ellie rolled up in front of the trailer and let the tears fall. She turned off her car and pulled her knees to her chest. Her head hit her knees and she sobbed in to her pinstriped pants, letting her blonde hair fall around her head. She began to shake, and a few minutes later, she heard the drivers side door open and felt an arm reach across her and unhook the keys from the ignition. She felt two male arms lift her from the car, and without looking, she knew who it was. She knew that smell. Ellie glanced up, looking over his shoulder, and saw Addison gathering Ellie's things from the car and then locking it. Ellie buried her head back in Dereks shoulder, trying to take slow breaths, but it wasn't working. Derek took her in to the trailer and set her on the bed, placing a kiss on her forehead before placing a blanket over her. Ellie could hear them whispering, and the next thing she knew, the screen door on the trailer had shut and there was only one person left in the trailer. Ellie could hear her moving around, and soon Addison slid on to the double bed, sitting up behind Ellie and placing one hand on Ellie's back. 

Ellie turned around slowly to face Addison. "What…?"

"Izzie called and said George was a mess…we figured that you would be just as bad."

"But you hate me."

Addison shook her head, a pained expression on her face. "No I don't, honey. I'm upset, but I don't hate you. And when you need me, everything else goes by the wayside." Ellie cracked a smile and then burst in to tears again. Addison pulled Ellie in to a hug, placing Ellie's head on her lap, running her fingers through Ellie's hair. Ellie's sobs racked her body, but soon she had cried herself to sleep. Addison leaned back, pulling Ellie's head up so that it was lying next to her own, and Addison fell asleep quickly herself.

* * *

**May 13th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie awoke to the strong smell of coffee. She breathed in deep and sat up, sighing.

"Morning." Meredith's voice startled Ellie, who had been expecting Addison. Addison was seated in the booth in the kitchen and smiled when she realized that Ellie was awake.

"Wha…?"

"When I got home last night, Izzie said you and George…well, he was a disaster, and I figured you might be in a similar state, so I came over this morning." Ellie nodded, looking back and forth between Addison and Meredith. "Obviously we haven't killed each other yet."

Ellie giggled. "No, I just…thank you, both, for being here." Meredith set her coffee cup down and joined Ellie on the bed. "I just…"

"Hey. Shit happens. I'm your sister…I'm not going anywhere." Meredith glanced at Addison and laughed. "And apparently, neither is she." Addison smiled and Ellie grinned back, leaning in to Meredith. "You going to be okay to go to work? Because I bet we can get you a day off…"

"No, I'll be fine." Addison raised her eyebrows and Meredith looked at her skeptically. "I will. I'll be okay." Ellie rose from the bed and turned on the shower, running her fingers through her tangled hair before wrapping a towel around her and shedding her clothes underneath it. She stepped in to the shower and tossed the towel over the door. Meredith and Addison looked at each other for a moment, but it was obvious Addison was listening for something. In a way Meredith didn't understand, Addison knew that something was wrong. She stood and whipped the towel down from above the door before opening the shower door. Ellie was huddled in the corner sobbing, which Addison had ultimately expected. She shot Meredith a look that said, 'call the chief' and she turned off the shower, reaching in and wrapping the towel around Ellie and helping her stand. Addison led Ellie to the bed and had her sit on the edge. Ellie pulled the towel around her and looked at Addison, her water stained face almost breaking Addison. "Maybe I won't be okay." She choked out. Addison wrapped her arms around Ellie and pulled her in to a hug as Meredith convinced the chief to give all three of them the day off. Meredith certainly wasn't going to leave Ellie, and she had a feeling that, even though Addison wasn't exactly happy with Ellie, she wasn't going to either.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"Where are we going?" Ellie asked, reluctantly getting in to Merediths car.

"You'll see." Addison said, glancing at Meredith and smiling.

"This is freaking me out." Ellie said, looking back and forth between Addison and Meredith as Addison got in the back seat.

"What?" Meredith asked, starting the ignition.

"This whole, 'you two working together' thing. It's trippy." Addison laughed and Meredith grinned.

"I believe you underestimate us, Eliot." Meredith said, pulling away from the trailer.

"Obviously." Ellie glanced back at Addison and cocked one eyebrow, getting a laugh from Addison.

"Hey. No silent conversations. Not fair." Meredith said, heading towards I-5.

"There will be no silent conversations if you tell me where the hell we're going."

Meredith sighed and glanced back at Addison, who nodded the okay. "Anacortes."

Ellie stared at her. "Why?"

Meredith sighed. "Do not get upset."

"Why would I get upset?"

"We're going to Orcas Island." Addison said, leaning forward.

"Oh." Ellie stared out the window.

"It's different this time, El." Meredith said, pulling to the side of the road so that she could look her sister in the eye. "Look…I know Orcas Island isn't a good memory for you, but we talked about it, and we figured you needed to get as far away from Seattle as possible without crossing the border…and Orcas Island is fun."

"I know it's fun, but…"

"Ellie, you wont be driving." Meredith said. "And nothing is going to happen. It'll be fine." Ellie looked at Meredith, getting reassurance from the confident look in her eye and nodded. "Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Ellie smiled and Addison squeezed her shoulder from behind as Meredith pulled back out on to the freeway.

"Oh. And you should probably know…" Meredith looked back at Addison and took a deep breath. "Derek hit George."

Ellie's jaw dropped. "He what?"

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

Derek reached for his phone as he felt it vibrate in his pocket. "Mrs. Mitchell, you're in very good hands with Dr. Stevens. I'll be back in a few minutes." Derek pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered it with a grin on his face.

"Hello love."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Derek glanced at the caller ID. He was sure it had said Addison. It did. "Derek!"

"What?"

"You hit him?"

"Ellie…"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He hurt you!"

"So you in turn hurt him? Are you out of your god damn mind?"

"I was upset."

"That in no way authorizes you to hit him. That's not okay, Derek."

"Ellie…"

"No. I'm already not talking to you…you just made it worse." Ellie hung up the phone and headed back to where Meredith and Addison were standing on the boat.

"Everything okay?" Meredith asked as Ellie handed Addison her phone.

"Yeah." Ellie leaned against the railing and watched the water, and both Meredith and Addison knew that something was wrong.

"I'm going to get something to drink." Addison said. "Either of you want anything?"

"No thanks." Ellie said, barely looking at Addison. Meredith shook her head and as soon as Addison walked away, Meredith leaned against the railing next to Ellie.

"What's going on?" Meredith asked, staring at her sister.

"I just…" Ellie sighed. "They've been my best friends for a long time. And it's hard when there's something pulling all of us apart." Ellie took a deep breath. "I promised myself I would never hate either of them…but when they do shit like cheat on their husband with my boyfriend, or punch George…it's a little hard not to." Meredith giggled and Ellie grinned. "But I still love them. Somehow…I still love them."

"You know, I feel the same way about you." Meredith said, trying to lighten the mood.

Ellie smacked Meredith on the arm. "Brat."

"Ellie, this whole thing is going to blow over eventually. I mean really…how long can Addison really be mad at you?"

Ellie scoffed. "You know, I don't know."

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie, Meredith and Addison sat in the Orchid Garden Restaurant, enjoying dinner, when Ellie's phone rang. She was afraid to answer it, so she just barely glanced at it and sighed.

"It's Derek." Ellie groaned, holding out her phone. "Which one of you is actually in the mood to talk to him?" Meredith and Addison looked at each other and then back at Ellie who groaned. "You both suck." Meredith laughed and Addison smirked as Ellie rose from the table and went out on to the deck. "What?"

"Eliot…I'm sorry."

"Derek…"

"I hurt you. I shouldn't've done anything to hurt you…you're my best friend."

"Are you drunk?"

Derek laughed. "Probably. Hey Joe-Joe…am I drunk?"

"Derek…"

"Is this Eliot?" Joe's voice startled her.

"Yeah."

"Look, I don't know where you're at, but someone needs to come pick him up. He's spent the last hour drinking and talking about how much he hurt you and Addison…I can't really handle this kid anymore."

"I'm in Orcas Island…" Ellie sighed. "I'll call someone."

"Thank you." Joe hung up the phone and Ellie immediately dialed an all-too-familiar number.

"Hi."

"I shouldn't be doing this, but I need a favor."

"What is it?"

Ellie sighed. "I need you to pick up Derek."

"Ellie…"

"George, I know you and I aren't on good terms right now, and you and he aren't on good terms right now, but Addison and Meredith kidnapped me and took me to Orcas Island…I can't get back."

"Where is he?" George asked, sighing.

"Joe's. He's very drunk. Feel free to take advantage."

George laughed. "Meaning what?"

Ellie smiled. "I don't know. Do whatever you want. But he sounds drunk enough that he won't remember, so…"

"Okay. Where do you want me to take him?"

"Uh…back to his house?"

George laughed. "Okay."

"Thank you."

"Yeah. Sure." Ellie hung up the phone and went back inside, somewhat of a smile on her face.

"What's going on?" Addison asked, cocking one eyebrow. "I thought you weren't excited about talking to him."

Ellie laughed. "I wasn't. That conversation was brief. I did talk to George though." Addison and Meredith nodded, sharing a smile. "Oh, and Derek is drunk."

Addison's head whipped around. "What?"

"Yeah. Apparently, he's spent the last hour at Joe's telling Joe all about how much he hurt you and I…and drinking a lot. He was slurring his words pretty bad when I talked to him."

Addison sighed. "Oh my god."

"Yep. And Joe asked me to come pick him up, which doesn't really work since it takes all of three hours to get back to Seattle from here…so I called George."

"George?" Meredith asked. "Isn't that kind of a bad idea? George could…"

"George could what?" Ellie asked, leaning back in her chair. Meredith shrugged. "Well, whatever. If George chooses to do anything, as far as I am concerned…Derek deserves it." Ellie took a gulp of her water and raised her eyebrows at Meredith.

"I'm not involved in this. If y'all want to be mad at him, that's fine, but I'm not getting involved."

Ellie shrugged. "Suit yourself." Ellie made eye contact with Addison, who nodded in silent agreement. Derek was on jackass level…and he deserved whatever he got.

* * *

Fortunately for Derek, he didn't get anything. When George picked him up, Derek had sobered a little from being deprived of alcohol and having sat outside. 

"You alright man?" George asked, getting out of his car and walking up to Derek.

"What are you going here?" Derek asked. "I was horrible to you. I hit you. Hey…does that hurt?"

George laughed. "Only a little. I'm here because Ellie called. She wanted me to come get you. She was worried about you."

"Really?" George nodded. "But she doesn't want to see me…"

"She's in Orcas Island with Addison and Meredith. She couldn't come. Otherwise she would have."

"She's with Addison?" George nodded, leading Derek to his car. "I miss Addison."

"You miss her?"

"She's staying with Miranda. She hasn't been home in 3 days…" Derek leaned against the back seat, silent, as George made his way around to the drivers seat. "She's mad at me." Derek said as George got in the car. "This is okay. I can handle that. I can't handle not seeing her."

George sighed, starting his car. "I know what you mean, Derek. I know what you mean." The two men drove back to Derek's in silence, both contemplating how to fix the absence of the women they love in their lives.

**Okay. There you have it. A HL update. Because I love all of you tons and tons.**


	42. Not Ready to Make Nice

**Half Love**

"**Not Ready to Make Nice"**

_Forgive, sounds good.  
Forget, I'm not sure I could.  
They say time heals everything,  
But I'm still waiting, I'm through, with doubt,  
There's nothing left for me to figure out,  
I've paid a price, and I'll keep payin  
I'm not ready to make nice,  
I'm not ready to back down,  
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time  
To go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right  
I probably wouldn't if I could  
Cause I'm mad as hell  
Can't bring myself to do what it is  
You think I should – _

"_Not Ready to Make Nice"_

_By the Dixie Chicks_

**May 14th, 2006**

**3 A.M.**

Ellie needed a drink. Badly. As she paced the balcony of the hotel room the three of them had gotten, her brain was telling her that the only thing that could make her feel better was alcohol…but she also knew that it was the only thing she couldn't have. She leaned against the railing and looked out over the water. It had been a long time since she had been up to Orcas Island; after the car accident all it was, was bad memories. There were actually a few boats out in the water, which surprised Ellie, considering the hour. Ellie breathed in the salty air; it was one of the things that she loved about the San Juan Islands. They were so close to Seattle, yet the smells were so different. If Ellie was at Pike Place Market, the fish smell reminded her of the San Juan's, but it was nowhere near the same. She and her Dad would come to the Islands at least once a month, if not more, and that was one of the things she missed the most once he was gone. It just wasn't the same without him.

"Ellie?" Meredith came out on to the balcony, rubbing her eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Can't sleep." Ellie said, leaning against the railing. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

Meredith shook her head. "No. I got up to pee and you weren't lying next to Addison. Kind of freaked me out at first."

Ellie laughed. "Sorry." Meredith shrugged and leaned against the railing next to Ellie. "I love it out here. Dad and I used to come here all the time."

Meredith nodded. "I remember. You showed me pictures once…right after he died. That's why I figured this would be okay…I know you haven't been here since he died."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." She smiled. "I missed it." She looked out at the water and sighed. "Thanks."

"For what?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "For bringing you out here?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. And for growing up." Meredith scoffed. "I'm serious. I know it's a little hard for you to be friends with Addison…"

"Not anymore." Meredith said, interrupting her sister. "Derek and I are long since over…and I've got Finn."

Ellie smiled. "That's right. I forgot."

"He's amazing." Meredith said, grinning. "But that's beside the point. Addison seems really great, and…I just needed to get over Derek first. And since that's done…"

Ellie smiled. "Well, I'm glad. Once you'll get to know Addison…you'll love her."

Meredith laughed. "I sort of gathered that. Since you do."

Ellie smirked. "Yeah I do." Ellie was looking out at the water when she heard her phone ringing in the hotel room, and raced inside to get it before it woke Addison. "Hello?"

"Ellie?"

Ellie's breath caught. "Mark? Is everything okay?" She stepped back on to the balcony and smiled as Meredith went back inside, shutting the door behind her.

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No. But it's 6 a.m. in New York. You aren't generally a morning person."

"I feel horrible. About what happened."

"What are you talking about?"

"I accused you of driving me away…Ellie, you didn't." Mark sighed on the other end, and Ellie felt tears welling in her eyes. "I drove you away."

"No, Mark…"

"I drove you right in to his arms…I did to you what he did to Addison."

"No." She snapped, leaning against the railing. "You didn't. Derek and I were only together because we were upset one night. It was a mistake that shouldn't have happened. You and Addison…she felt neglected by Derek, and you…you felt neglected by me."

"Are you defending what we did?"

Ellie scoffed. "I guess I sort of was. Look, Mark…this whole thing…it's no one persons fault. We all contributed to this mess, and there's no excuse for it."

"I'm just…I'm so sorry everything ended up this way. I thought you and I would be together forever."

Ellie's tears broke at this point. "Me too Mark."

"I think I'll always love you Ellie." Ellie's breath caught. "But I know, you're in love with this George character…" Ellie let out a sob before she could catch herself. "What?"

"I…we broke up. He said he couldn't handle the chaos anymore."

"What an ass."

"No, Mark, he's not. I dragged him in to this mess. This disastrous mess." Ellie took a deep breath. "I just…I screwed up again. I screwed up with you…"

"Ellie…I thought you just said…"

"I know what I just said. I do. But…I still feel like I screwed up."

"You didn't. Would I still love you if you screwed up?"

"I just…" Ellie sobered. "I thought you were in love with Addison." Mark was silent on the other end. "Mark?"

"I…I'm not. I was trying to get your attention. I wanted you to break up with George and try and get me back because you were jealous…obviously that didn't work."

Ellie laughed. "Oh, Mark…"

"I know, it's stupid…I thought it might work."

"I cried when you told me that you were in love with Addison. I was so upset…"

"You were?" Mark's voice perked up.

"Yeah. But Mark…I don't know if I can get back together with you. We hurt each other pretty bad…I don't know if I want to."

"I guess I can respect that…look, I have to go, but I wanted to talk to you."

"You can always call me, Mark. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. I'll call you later."

"Okay." Ellie smiled and hung up the phone, leaning against the railing. All of a sudden her face dropped. Mark? George? Now she didn't know what to do.

* * *

**7:00 A.M.**

Addison stepped out on to the balcony and laughed. Ellie was asleep in the chair, her phone clutched to her chest, her blonde hair blowing in the wind. She looked peaceful, like something had been resolved, and Addison almost didn't want to wake her, but they had to get back. Richard wanted them at work by noon.

"Ellie…Eliot…" Addison shook her awake. "Wake up babe." Ellie mumbled something incoherent and slowly opened her eyes. "Morning."

"Mmmm." Ellie made a face. "What time is it?"

"7:00."

"Addison!"

"Hey. It is not my fault you were up wandering around until god knows when, and then fell asleep out here. We need to be back by noon."

"Which means we don't have to leave until nine." Ellie said, groaning. "So why I am up now?"

"Because we're leaving by eight. Move it or lose it, Grey." Ellie smirked and trudged in to the hotel room.

"Hey." Meredith said. "How'd the phone call go?" She asked, smiling. Addison stood behind Ellie, confused.

"Good. It was good." Meredith looked behind Ellie at Addison and raised her eyebrows. "I'll tell you later." Ellie said, stepping past Meredith in to the bathroom.

"What was that?" Addison asked.

Meredith shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Liar."

"Look, you're going to have to ask Ellie." Meredith shrugged. "Sorry."

"Meredith…"

Meredith shook her head. "Addison, I can't go blurting my sisters secrets out to you. I won't do that. If you want to know about her late-night phone call…you're going to have to ask her." Addison glared and then brushed past Meredith in to the bathroom. Ellie was already in the shower and immediately knew who it was.

"It's none of your business." She said, leaning her head out around the curtain.

"What?"

"Addison…you came in here to find out what it was that Meredith and I were talking about, didn't you?"

Addison looked down. "Yes."

"Well it's none of your business."

"Why not?"

"Because…it's not." Ellie leaned back in to the shower and Addison huffed a loud sigh. "Add…"

"I'm your best friend, El. Why won't you tell me?"

"Your best friend, huh?" Ellie's head poked around the curtain again, one eyebrow cocked. "Some best friend."

"What does that mean?"

"You weren't talking to me until I had a problem. It wasn't important to be my friend until you could feel important."

"Eliot." Addison snapped, leaning against the bathroom counter. "That is not true."

"Yeah?"

"Ellie…I'm entitled to be upset."

"I never said you weren't. I, however, am entitled to tell you that the phone call that I received this morning is none of your business."

"Who was it?"

"What does _none of your business_ mean to you?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "Eliot…"

"It was Mark, okay? Is that alright with you?" Ellie sighed loudly and leaned back in to the shower as Addison stormed out of the bathroom.

"She was talking to Mark?" Addison demanded, staring at Meredith.

"Oh no. I am not getting in the middle of this. It's not my place."

"Meredith…"

"No." Meredith snapped, putting her hands up in defense. "This is not a thing where Meredith gets involved. Leave me out of this."

Addison crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine. I'm going for a walk. I'll be back by eight." Addison stormed out of the hotel room before Meredith could respond, unsure of where she was even headed.

* * *

**11:30 A.M.**

Meredith was prepared to shoot someone. Probably herself. Maybe Ellie. Most likely Addison. Ellie and Addison had argued the whole way home. Because Addison wouldn't leave Ellie alone about the stupid phone call.

"You think you're so great. No one cares what you think half the time." Ellie snapped, getting out of the car. "Especially not in this hospital. Most of them hate you."

"You wish most of them hated me. You don't even talk to Alex, and Izzie and George aren't speaking to you either…"

"Bull shit they're not. George and I aren't together anymore…that doesn't mean we aren't talking."

"Sometimes your attitude…"

"It's no worse than yours." Ellie snapped, flying through the hospital doors behind Meredith, who was moving faster than anyone had ever seen her move.

"Hey." Derek came off the elevator and smiled. "How was it?"

Meredith sighed. "Make them stop." She whispered, her head down.

"What?" Derek looked over at Ellie and Addison, who were arguing in low voices near the door. "Oh jeez. What got them started?"

"Ellie wouldn't tell Addison about a phone call she got really early this morning."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Okay. I'll take care of this." Derek started towards them but froze when he saw someone walking through the front doors. Meredith half smiled.

"Ellie!" Ellie's head snapped in the direction of the voice and she grinned.

"Mark!" She raced towards him, jumping in to his arms and wrapping him in a hug. Addison looked over at Derek and then to Meredith. Derek turned to Meredith, and when both Shepherds noticed that she was grinning, they knew something was definitely up.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Ellie asked, following Mark outside of the building. 

"I was already here when I called this morning. But…I wanted to make sure you'd actually want to see me before I showed up at the hospital."

Ellie grinned. "So you just came to see me?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. I haven't been able to focus since I talked to you two days ago…it's been driving me nuts." Mark took a deep breath, sitting down on one of the benches outside the hospital. "I…I wanted you to know how I felt." Ellie smiled. "I know you probably don't want to get back together with me, but I wanted you to know." Ellie looked down, unsure of what to say. "Now, what the hell was going on when I walked in?"

"Ugh…Addison would not leave me alone…we were in Orcas Island this morning when you called, and Meredith asked me how the phone call went, because she was up when I answered the phone…anyway, long story short, I wouldn't tell Addison and we've been arguing all morning."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Interesting. Looks like you're headed back to normal."

"Normal?"

"Ellie, you two used to fight about stupid things all the time."

"This is different. She's still upset about the me and Derek thing, and the fact that I wouldn't tell her about the stupid phone call was like the last straw I guess…I don't know. Everything is kind of crazy right now."

Mark sighed. "Everything will eventually blow over. You know it will. It always does."

Ellie sighed, leaning in to Mark. "Sometimes, I'm not so sure."

"Why don't you and I spend some time together for the next few days?" Ellie looked up at him, grinning. "I mean, really, you and I used to spend time together all the time, even before we were dating…and if we're not going to date, we might as well be friends."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"What time do you get off tonight?"

"Eight. I think." Ellie made a face. "Gotta work an eight-hour day at some point."

Mark laughed. "Okay. I'll pick you up here."

Ellie shook her head. "Ew. At least let me change."

Mark grinned. "Don't worry about it. I like you in scrubs. You look hot."

Ellie rolled her eyes and stood. "Fine. I'll meet you out front a little after eight, okay?" Mark nodded and Ellie turned and left. Mark watched her walk away, a plan already in place. He would get her back if it killed him.

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

"What are you so upset about?"

"She can forgive Mark, but not me?"

Derek scoffed. "We don't know that she's forgiven him."

"She hugged him."

Derek stared at her. "She's hugged you." Derek took hold of Addisons hands. "Plus, didn't she tell you that she forgave you?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. But sometimes it doesn't feel like she really did."

"Sometimes you have to forgive to be forgiven."

"What does that mean?" Addison snapped, dropping Derek's hands.

"You never forgave her for not talking to you for so long…and now you're upset about what happened…maybe you both just need to sit down and talk."

"What if I'm not ready to talk to her yet?"

"Addison…"

"No. Really. She didn't talk to me for months."

"It's a little different, Addie."

"How so?"

"Addison…" Derek sighed. He'd explained it already, he didn't really want to go through this again.

"I know. Mark and I were worse. What I don't get is why everyone seems to think that I'm a hypocrite because I'm upset. I'm entitled!"

"No one thinks you aren't entitled. But Addie…you and Ellie are never going to be the way you used to be if you don't at least try to make up."

Addison scoffed. "You know what? Maybe I'm not ready to make up." She stormed away from Derek, heading down the hall, and running directly in to Ellie. Ellie glanced at Addison and gave her a half-smile before continuing down the hall. Ellie barely looked at Derek, and only stopped when he grabbed her arm.

"How are you?"

"Fine." She said, staring down at the chart.

"Ellie…"

"Derek, I'm fine, okay?"

"Why is Mark here?" Ellie looked taken aback. "I just…"

"It's none of your business why Mark is here." Ellie snapped. "You don't even like him anymore."

"Maybe not, but you're still my best friend…"

"Don't." Ellie said, glancing at Addison. "Don't pull the best friend card on me. It doesn't work anymore."

"What? What do you mean?"

Ellie took a deep breath and looked from Derek to Addison. "If either of you were actually my best friend, this interrogation crap wouldn't be necessary. You'd be able to read me. Not to mention, you wouldn't have hit George," Ellie snapped, pointing at Derek. "andshe would be trying to forgive me." She said, gesturing at Addison. "But you did andshe's not…so right now, you don't get to use the best friend card." Ellie walked away and Addison glanced at Derek once before heading in the opposite direction. Derek was lost. How had everything fallen apart so quickly?

* * *

**8:30 P.M.**

Mark was seated in the bench he and Ellie had been sitting on earlier in the day when Ellie came out of the hospital, overnight bag in hand.

"You changed." He said, standing.

"I bought new clothes in Orcas Island yesterday. I forgot I had them with me." Mark looked Ellie up and down and his heart skipped a beat. Ellie was wearing a white mini-skirt that showed off her naturally tan legs, and a green t-shirt that fit every curve. "Mark?"

"Sorry." He said, his voice cracking. "Uh, you ready?"

Ellie grinned. "Yeah."

"I was thinking Joe's…is that okay?"

Ellie stopped. "Mark, wait. There's something I should tell you. We really can't go to Joe's."

"Why not?"

"I can't drink alcohol."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Why not? Wait…are you pregnant? Is it George's? Oh Ellie…"

"No. No, Mark, I'm not pregnant." She said, laughing. "No, it's a little more serious than that."

"Oh. The ulcer. Richard told me."

"No." Ellie sighed. "That's not…Mark, I'm…I'm an alcoholic." Ellie let out a long sigh and looked down. She hadn't actually told anyone that yet.

"Hey…" Mark lifted her chin with his hand, bringing her eyes up. "It's okay. Ellie…you're fine." He said as tears began to stream down her cheeks. "We'll go sit at a nice restaurant…El…" He pulled her in to a hug, holding her tight. "There's nothing wrong with admitting that you have a problem." He stepped back, lifting her chin again. "I'm going to love you no matter what, even if you don't want me to, so don't worry about it, okay?" Ellie nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You still want to go out?" Ellie nodded and they went to Mark's rented car. Halfway through the parking lot, Mark reached for her hand, even though he was unsure if she would let him hold it. Much to his surprise, she did.

* * *

**11:00 P.M.**

"So now what?" Mark asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they headed out of the Pike Pub and Grill. It was one of Ellie's favorite places to eat at Pike Place Market, so Mark had taken her there. Despite the fact that it was a pub. And they had talked. A lot. About a lot of different things. And they were back on track to be friends. Although Ellie still wasn't sure about the whole dating thing. After all, there was still George.

"I don't know." She said, shrugging. "We could go sit in one of the little coffee shops down the alley on Pine. Or we could go back to my place. Or we could go back to your hotel. Or…"

Mark put one finger on her lips. "My hotel. Is that okay?"

Ellie laughed. "Would I have suggested it if it wasn't?"

Mark smiled. "Okay."

"Good thing you're close, huh?" She asked, grinning. They had parked at Mark's hotel, the Alexis on first, so getting back to his hotel was pretty much the easiest option. As they headed down Pike street towards First, they were walking rather close, but Mark had yet to try to hold her hand again. Ellie had made it clear at dinner that she wasn't sure about the dating thing, so it surprised him when she threaded her fingers through his. He looked over at her and smiled, and then stopped.

"Wait." Mark dropped her hand. "Are you agreeing to go out to dinner with me, and hold my hand and all this because you miss George?" Ellie's eyes widened. "Ellie…"

"No." Ellie sighed. "Oh, Mark…look, someone once told me that each person has a love of their life and a soul mate. Sometimes they're one in the same, and sometimes they're not." Ellie took a deep breath and looked Mark in the eye. "You're one of them, Mark. I just don't know which one. And I don't know, if you're the love of my life, do I stay with you, or do I find my soul mate? Or if you're my soul mate, do I go looking for the love of my life?" Ellie looked down. "It's so hard for me to admit this, but George started as a way to get over you. I fell for him, but there's still a part of me that loves you. I think." Mark smiled. "I'm not with you right now because I miss George. I'm with you right now because I missed you."

Mark smiled. "I missed you too." He took her hand again and leaned over to kiss her cheek. In a split second, Ellie moved and their lips touched briefly, igniting a spark that hadn't been there in a long time. "Jesus. Why did you do that?" He whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. "Why did you move?" Ellie smirked and didn't answer, just stepped back and started walking again, heading towards Marks hotel. All he wanted to do now was kiss her. And hold her. And do other things. But Mark didn't want to push her. As they reached the hotel and walked upstairs, Mark was starting to get more anxious. Why did she suggest the hotel? Why not just coffee and then have him take her home? Mark looked Ellie up and down again while they waited for the elevator. He loved how naturally tan she was. Her father was half-Guatemalan, and the one-half Guatemalan mixed with Ellis Grey had made Ellie naturally tan, and blonde. It was a combination Mark hadn't ever seen before, and one of the things Mark loved so much about her.

"Mark." Ellie's voice snapped his eyes up from her legs and she giggled. "The elevator, babe. It's here." Mark turned the lightest shade of red and followed her on to the empty elevator. That marked the turning point for the evening. Mark was standing behind her, resting his head on her shoulder, his hands on her waist, fighting every urge he had to spin her around and take her right there. Ellie was fighting a similar urge. Mark had always been great in bed, and Ellie wanted him more than she could stand. They made it to the fourth floor without anything happening, but once they had gotten off the elevator and to room 216, there was nothing stopping them. What shocked Mark was that Ellie made the first move. He was trying to unlock the door to the room when one of her hands grazed the front of his jeans. Mark froze. Ellie laughed. "Mark…"

"Don't. Do. That." He said, his voice scratchy. "You can't do that." Ellie cocked one eyebrow, obviously confused. "I already want to have sex with you…don't make it worse."

"What if I wanted to make it worse?" She asked, grinning. Mark groaned and finally managed to open the door. He shoved her in to the room, and immediately ravished her. She giggled as he lifted her small body and wrapped her legs around his waist, stumbling towards the bed. He closed his eyes and all he could see was tan legs and blonde hair, and he didn't even care that he'd told himself earlier that day that he wasn't going to try to have sex with her. He'd noticed much earlier in the evening, when watching her walk away, that she was wearing a thong underneath the white skirt, and as his hands dipped under the skirt, he groaned. It was one of those barely-there ones, and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to control himself. Their kisses were hot and passionate, and their tongues were dueling as Mark lifted Ellie's shirt to just above her bra. He sat back and smiled.

"God I missed these." Ellie laughed as he lid her shirt over her head and undid her bra, immediately pressing his lips against her right nipple. His left hand played with her other breast, and Ellie's moans were driving him nuts. His mouth moved to her other breast and his right hand dipped under her skirt, grazing her lower region and making her breath catch. He smiled and moved back to her mouth, his right hand again at the side of her body.

"Mark." She whispered, her voice low and throaty. He looked in to her eyes and without saying another word she was able to convey what she needed. Him. He undid his belt buckle and slid his jeans down over his legs, taking his briefs with them. With his left hand next to her body and his lips on hers, his right hand slid the thong off and he kissed her hard before thrusting in to her. Ellie let out a throaty moan and Mark froze. He had missed the feeling of her body around his, and to think that anyone else had been able to touch her in the last year made him furious.

"Ellie." He looked at her, the lust in his eyes reflecting hers. "I missed you so much. God I missed you. And I love you…"

"I missed you too." She said. After a pause, she smiled. "You know how I feel, Mark."

He nodded and finally made a thrusting motion. "I know."

* * *

Later that night, Mark and Ellie lie tangled in each others arms. Neither one wanted to ever let go. 

**Okay. That's it. Hope you liked it!**


	43. Bad Day

**Half Love**

"**Bad Day"**

_You stand in the line just to hit a new low  
__You're faking a smile with the coffee to go  
__You tell me your life's been way off line  
__You're falling to pieces every time  
__And I don't need no carrying on  
__Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down  
__You sing a sad song just to turn it around  
__You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie  
__You work at a smile and you go for a ride  
__You had a bad day, the camera don't lie  
__You're coming back down and you really don't mind  
__You had a bad day, you had a bad day –  
_"_Bad Day"  
__By Daniel Powter_

**May 15th, 2006**

**7:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke up alone. She pulled the sheets around her body and involuntarily shivered. Though her skirt had stayed on most of the night, her entire upper body was covered in goose bumps. She wasn't sure where Mark was, but she didn't feel like moving. She curled up in the fetal position and buried her head in her pillow, smiling when she heard the door open and then shut.

"Ellie…" Mark knelt down next to the bed, holding a coffee cup. "I know you can't drink coffee, so I brought you a Chai Tea Latte." Ellie smiled and sat up, pulling the sheet tighter around her and taking the cup. "Did you sleep okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." It was the first time in almost two months that she's slept all the way through the night. Ellie took a sip from the cup and smiled. "Thanks."

Mark smiled. "Sure." He set his own coffee cup on the bedside table and sat down facing Ellie on the bed. "I missed waking up next to you."

Ellie giggled. "How cliché of you."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I'm serious."

Ellie smiled. "I know, Mark." She leaned against the headboard, setting her tea on the bedside table. "It's not like we haven't established that we missed each other."

Mark groaned and placed his head on her lap. "Ellie…"

"I'm sorry. It's just…there's so much more to talk about. I mean really."

He looked up at her. "Like what?"

"Like how if we end up getting back together…how are we going to do it. I have a contract at Seattle Grace, and you have your practice in New York…"

"We'll figure it out when we get there." Mark said, sitting up. "I don't want to plan ahead, El. We tried planning ahead last time…and we were so focused on what was going to happen that we neglected what was going on at the time. I don't want that to happen again." Mark sighed. "You know, if we get back together."

Ellie cringed at the pain in his voice. "Mark…"

"I'm sorry." He whispered, his head down. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, really." He looked up at her, taking a deep breath. "I want to be with you so bad…but I understand your reservations…I'm not going to sleep with Addison again."

Ellie's eyes widened. "Not an issue here, Mark."

He looked taken aback. "Really?"

Ellie sighed. "She and Derek are on track…for the most part. I'm really not worried about that."

"Oh." Mark turned red. "I…"

"It's okay." Ellie said, grinning. "I can understand why you might think that you sleeping with Addison is one of my reservations, but it's not, okay?"

Mark smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "Okay." Marks lips touched hers and she immediately pulled him as close to her as possible. Mark went to straddle Ellie, but his hand slipped on the sheet and he fell, knocking her in to the headboard and crashing on top of her. Ellie let out a laugh, throwing her head back. Marks hands gripped her around the waist, tickling her and she began to laugh harder. Mark wrapped his arms all the way around her, now laughing himself, and they crashed together, Ellie huddled in his chest. Mark kissed her forehead and then planted kisses on her face. Ellie laughed again as he squeezed her waist and she dove for his stomach. The one thing their laughter covered was the sound of Ellie's phone ringing.

* * *

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie stepped in to Addison's office reluctantly. Addison had left a message on Ellie's phone saying that she wanted to talk to Ellie as soon as she got in, so Ellie headed straight for Addison's office the minute Mark dropped her off at the hospital.

"Morning." Addison said, looking up as Ellie entered the room.

"Hi."

"Have a good night?" Ellie smiled. She had no idea. "I'm guessing that's a yes."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I had a great night."

Addison grinned. "Good. That's good." Addison took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about…" Before Addison could say anything, Izzie Stevens came flying through the doorway.

"Dr. Shepherd. It's Mrs. McConnell. She's going in to labor."

Addison nodded. "Okay. Ellie…we'll continue this later." Ellie nodded and Addison left the room in a flash. Ellie moved around the side of the desk and dialed an all too familiar number.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

"Hey. That was fast."

"She had a patient. We barely had a conversation."

"El, I'm sure it will be fine."

Ellie sighed. "I don't know."

"Baby, you have to relax. Addison is not going to kill you."

"She might, Mark."

He laughed. "I doubt that very much. Look, I'll come to the hospital later, okay, and you and I can talk about what happened or what might happen, depending on whether or not you and Addison have talked."

"I…I'm not so sure that's a good idea." Ellie said, cringing as she spoke.

"Why not?"

"Well, with the whole George thing having ended so recently, and Derek and Addison still kind of hating you…"

"Ellie, I'm your friend. That's all I'm there to be."

Ellie sighed. "Okay. What time?"

"Probably around one. Does that work for you?"

Ellie thought for a moment. "I think so. I'll let you know if it doesn't."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"Yeah." Ellie hung up the phone and leaned back in Addison's chair. Mark was being his old self; the one she had fallen in love with in the first place. And it scared her a little.

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means, Eliot. There has been something going on with you all day, and I want to know what it is."

Ellie stared at Addison. "It's none of your god damn business. I don't have to tell you if I don't want to."

"Ellie, I'm your best friend. I'm entitled…"

"You're not entitled to anything when it comes to me. Not right now." Ellie turned around to walk away, but Addisons arm stopped her. "What?"

"Why is it that it's okay for you to snap at me, but whenever I want to talk to you, you walk away?" Ellie didn't have an answer for her. "I get to be pissed about this, Ellie. You and Derek didn't talk to me for months…"

"It's different."

"It's not that different. I slept with your boyfriend, you slept with my husband. Not that different."

"It's different!" Ellie yelled. "I slept with Derek once! You slept with Mark more than once…"

"It's not different enough that I don't get to be upset." Addison leaned against the wall, not noticing that a large group, including Mark and Derek, was gathering down the hall. "You are such a god damn hypocrite. You think that you're so much better than I am…"

"I do not."

"You do!" Addison yelled. "You think that because you made a mistake one night, as opposed to a few nights, that you're better than me. You're no better. You were falling all over Derek for months…"

"I wish you would stop saying that."

"Why? It's true. You're in love with him. Or you were. One of the two. It's pathetic, Ellie. He's married." Ellie stared at her, a 'duh' look on her face. "Don't look at me like that. It didn't stop you last year…"

"Last year I was drunk and angry."

"I don't care!" Addison took a deep breath. "I really could care less, Eliot. All I know is, you swore up and down that nothing happened…and you lied!"

"I forgot…"

"Bull shit. You blocked it out on purpose. So that you wouldn't have to tell me. You refused to believe that it happened just so that I would never find out."

"That's not true." Ellie's voice cracked.

"It is true. And you know what, now you're even more of a hypocrite because you're fine talking to Mark, but you refuse to forgive me."

"I forgave you, Addie…"

"You said you did, but you don't act like it. And then when I'm upset, you get even more mad at me. You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being ridiculous? What about you? Come on, Addison…"

"No. You don't get to yell at me. You've done enough yelling. It's my turn." Addison snapped, running her fingers through her hair. "You're my best friend. Or you were. And yes, I made a mistake, but I have tried and tried to make up for it. And you wont forgive me. And now, when I'm upset because you did the same god damn thing, you 'can't handle it' and you think I'm 'overreacting'. You're so full of shit. I mean really. Make up your god damn mind." Ellie stood, speechless, in front of Addison. Ellie had noticed the group down the hall, and wasn't sure what to say. "What? No words?"

"Add…"

"I can't so this. If you aren't going to be able to deal with me being mad at you, I can't be friends with you."

"What?"

"Ellie, you're a god damn hypocrite. And now, when I finally call you on it, you pull the 'I'm weak and frail and can't handle yelling' card, which doesn't work!"

"So, wait. You can't be friends with me because I hate when you yell at me, but you can still be married to Derek, who hates it when you yell at him too?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because I want to be around Derek!" Ellie froze, took a deep breath and walked away. Mark flew past Addison as Ellie headed in to the stairwell, and Addison ducked in to the nearest empty room. Derek followed her, and the rest of the people that had been standing there dispersed, except for Meredith. She was stunned. Had that really just happened?

* * *

"Ellie." 

"Leave me alone."

"El…"

"Mark. Don't."

Mark chased her down the stairwell. "Eliot, wait." He jumped down the steps and caught up with her. "Honey, come on."

"Don't call me honey." She snapped, leaning against the wall. "I can't believe this. After everything…."

"Ellie, she's just upset."

"Are you defending her?" Mark's face paled. "Damn it! You know, I knew it was a bad idea to come here. The only person I've got that understands me is Meredith…"

"Ellie, wait. I understand."

"Bull shit. You do not." Ellie swung at his chest. "You don't. All you want to do is defend Addison. You claim you love me, and now when I've lost my best friend, you defend her. Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Ellie beat at Marks chest, pounding in to it as she burst in to tears. Mark pulled her in to a hug and she struggled against him, pushing him away and then slamming her fists in to him again. After a minute or so, Ellie's beating stopped and her arms went limp. "It's not fair. It's just not fair…" Mark pulled her in to a hug and she sobbed in to his chest.

"I know, baby." He whispered, holding her to him. "I know."

* * *

**2:00 P.M.**

Mark stormed in to Addison's office, letting the door slam in to the wall.

"What is wrong with you?"

Addison looked up from her paperwork. It was obvious that at one point she had been crying, but she looked rather put together. "What?"

"How could you do something like that?"

"Mark…"

"Twelve god damn years and you throw it away because of what, a mini-argument?"

"This is not a mini-argument, Mark! This is a big deal!"

"Yeah? She didn't throw you away when you did the same thing!" Addison rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Addison."

"Mark, you don't understand…"

"No. I understand. I get it. You want to do to her what you think she did to you. She was upset. She was entitled. But she talked to you. She tried. You've just given up."

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"She was your best friend. You used to want the best for her."

Addison sighed. "I do. But I also want the best for me. And sometimes, my sanity overrides hers…"

Mark scoffed. "You aren't sane without her, Addison. I remember you before you met Ellie. There was something about you…you weren't complete. You had friends, but not many, and when Ellie came along…you changed. For the better." Addison half-smiled and looked back down at her paperwork. "Addison, she needs you right now. And you probably need her…"

"I don't need her." Addison said adamantly. "I don't. I can survive without her."

Mark sighed. "That's the biggest piece of bull shit I've ever heard…pretty much ever."

"It's not…"

"It is!" Mark snapped. "You know you're going to need her. Just don't come running to me when you do and she doesn't want to talk to you." Mark left the office and Addison immediately burst in to tears, placing her head on the desk. Derek was walking past her office and looked in briefly, expecting to just see her doing paperwork. Instead he bolted in the door and shut it behind him.

"Addie?"

She looked up. "Hi."

"What happened?"

"I…" Addison took a deep breath. "I can't believe I blew up at her like that. I can't…I shouldn't have…"

"Addison, you have every right to blow up at her."

"I know, but it's like Mark said…"

"Wait. Mark was in here?" Derek snapped. "What was he doing here?"

"He was yelling…it's not important." Addison took a deep breath, placing her head back on the desk. "Oh my God, Derek…" Addison's head popped up. "I just lost my best friend." He nodded. He'd been waiting for that to hit. She'd been so caught up in the justice of how she was treating Ellie that she hadn't really realized what she'd done.

"Addie…everything's going to be fine. You were upset…and Ellie knows that. It'll turn out fine."

Addison shook her head. "I'm not so sure, Derek. I don't know…"

Derek knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. "Addison. She loves you more than she loves her own sister. You've fought before…"

"I told her that I didn't even want to be around her." Addison's eyes widened. "Derek, what did I do?" Derek wasn't sure how to respond. Instead, he pulled her in to a hug and let her cry in to his lab coat. He had to fix this. He just didn't know how.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"Can I help you?"

Mark looked up. "No." Mark looked back down at the magazine he was flipping through, leaning back in the chair.

"You're in the locker room."

"I know where I am." Mark said, without looking up. "I'm waiting for someone."

"Sorry. I…" Ellie froze. "George…"

"He's waiting for you?" George scoffed. "Boy, its certainly doesn't take you long to move on, does it?"

"George…"

"We're just friends, man, relax." Mark said, standing. "Don't pee yourself."

"Mark." Ellie hissed, glaring. "Be nice." He shrugged and looked away.

"Don't worry about me." George said. "I broke up with you, remember?"

Ellie nodded. "I'll see you later." She brushed past him and out the door, leaving the two men alone.

"So what are you here for anyway?" George asked. "Going to hang out with Ellie until you can sweep Addison Shepherd off her feet?"

"I'm not here for Addison at all." Mark said, facing George. "I'm here because Ellie needs someone."

"If you hurt her…"

Mark scoffed. "You mean like you did? I wouldn't dream of it." Mark flew past George out of the locker room and found Ellie leaning against the counter, her eyes close. "El…?"

She opened her eyes immediately upon hearing her name and smiled. "Ready?" Mark nodded and she held her hand out for his. He took it, grinning profusely inside, but managing to keep himself composed in front of her. They walked out of the hospital hand-in-hand, not noticing that George watched them walk away, unmistakable pain on his face.

**Okay. That's it. I can't do anymore. I don't really like this one very much…but you know, whatev.**


	44. Tangled Up in Me

**I was going to write this whole long authors note about how Ellie isn't Meredith and people need to stop saying that, but I changed my mind and decided to just say: Ellie isn't Meredith. Stop saying that.**

**Half Love**

"**Tangled Up in Me"**

_You wanna know more, more, more about me  
I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine  
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again  
Hey! Hey! Hey!  
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!  
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today  
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!  
Hey! Hey!  
Get tangled up in me  
__You think that you know me, you think that I'm only  
When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you  
You wanna know more, more, more about me  
I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet –  
_"_Tangled Up in Me"  
__By Skye Sweetnam_

**May 29th, 2006**

**3:00 A.M.**

As Ellie paced the ground outside the trailer, she came to a realization. She hadn't slept in two weeks…and had performed four major surgeries. Ellie's eyes widened. Then she remembered that Derek had been in every surgery and he would have corrected her if she'd done something wrong. Ellie stared at the foundation that had just been poured behind the trailer. Addison and Derek had come to terms with everything, but Ellie still hadn't talked to Addison. Not in two weeks. And it was killing her.

* * *

Addison sat on the front porch, holding a cup of chai tea, trying to relax. She'd barely slept in two weeks. She'd slept more than Ellie, that much she knew, but not much more. As Addison sipped at her cup of tea, she realized that there was a car pulling up in front of the house. It startled her at first, until she realized who it was.

* * *

Ellie knew she had to do something. This wasn't Addison's fault, it was her fault. She was the one that had been hypocritical, and Addison was right. She got to be mad. Ellie left Mark a note and immediately got in to her car. She didn't care that it was three in the morning. Something told her that Addison would be awake. 

Addison stared as Ellie came up the walkway, a sheepish look on her face.

"I thought you might be asleep." Ellie said, standing at the edge of the steps. "I'm really glad you're not."

Addison nodded. "Me too." The women remained in silence, Addison sipping at her tea and Ellie taking slow breaths.

"I'm sorry." Ellie spit out. "I'm so sorry. I was a hypocrite. You had every right to be upset. And I am so sorry that I slept with Derek."

Addison nodded. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said some of the things that I said…"

"No, Addison…"

Addison grinned. "I said some of the things." Ellie laughed. "I want to be your best friend still, Ellie. I don't want to lose you…"

"I don't want to lose you either." Ellie said, finally sitting down next to Addison. "And I'm really sorry if you felt like I hadn't forgiven you. Because I have…I just want the whole thing to be over."

"So do I." Addison took a sip of the tea. "And I've forgiven you too, Ellie. I don't want to be mad at you anymore." Ellie smiled. "Maybe we should just start over. No past issues, no regrets. For twelve years you've been the best friend that I wanted my whole life, and I want that again."

"Me too." Ellie nodded. "Okay. We'll start over." Addison smiled and Ellie stood. "Hi."

Addison laughed and set the cup down, standing and smiling. "Hi." Ellie stuck out her hand, laughter on her face, but Addison pulled Ellie in to a hug instead. Their laughter turned to tears and both women had turned to sobbing when the front door opened.

"Addison…?" Derek's voice was groggy, meaning he had woken up and realized immediately that she wasn't there. "What…" Ellie stepped back and looked over at Derek. "Oh. Okay." Derek turned around and walked back in the house, shutting the door. Ellie looked over at Addison, a confused look on her face, and then both of them burst in to laughter. Addison grabbed the mug from where she'd set it on the porch and they went in to the house. Sleep was calling.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke to her phone ringing. She threw her arm over her body to grab it, expecting to hit a table. Instead, her whole body swung off the couch and she shrieked before landing on the floor. She hoisted herself to her knees and reached for the phone.

"Hi."

"Where are you?"

"At the Shepherds. What time is it?"

"10 A.M." Ellie gasped. "Richard's been calling me all morning."

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry, Mark. Uh…I have to go."

"Yeah. No kidding."

"Bye." Ellie scrambled to her feet and went in to the kitchen. She chugged a glass of water and fixed her hair. She was on her way out when Addison came down the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm late." Ellie said, pulling her shoes on. "I'll see you later." Before Addison could respond, Ellie was out the front door. Almost immediately, the house phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Sorry. Mark called and said that Richard's been calling him all morning. I probably have a ton of missed calls. I didn't even look. I was supposed to be in at 8."

"Oops."

"Yeah. No kidding. What time are you coming in?"

"Noon. I have a prenatal appointment at 11, and then I'll be in."

"Okay. Lunch?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Great. See you later."

"Bye." Addison hung up the phone just as Derek came in to the kitchen. "Morning."

"Good morning." Derek kissed her cheek and smiled. "Did she leave already?"

"Overslept."

Derek cringed. "Oops." Addison nodded. "I'm glad you guys are good again."

Addison grinned. "Me too."

Derek wrapped his arms around Addison's waist and held her close. "So…we have a prenatal appointment today."

Addison laughed. "Yes, we do."

"In an hour."

"Uh-huh."

"You know what we can do in an hour?"

Addison shrugged. "A lot of things. What exactly did you have in mind?" Derek wiggled his eyebrows and then leaned in and kissed her hard, his hands cupping her butt. "That's a good idea." She whispered against his lips. He laughed and led her carefully through the kitchen in to the living room, their lips still joined. Addison sat herself carefully on the couch and Derek leaned her backwards so that he could straddle her. His hands were halfway up her shirt when the front door flew open. Ellie came in to the living room, not noticing Derek and Addison on the couch. Addison opened her mouth to speak, but Derek covered it with his hand. Ellie snagged her purse from next to the couch, something she had obviously forgotten in the rush, and on her way towards the door, Derek caught her eye.

"Hey." She said, barely glancing at his position. Her head jerked back and her eyes widened. "Oh God. I am so sorry." Addison burst in to laughter against Derek's hands as Ellie went red and left the house.

Derek grinned. "Where were we?"

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"Okay, Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Harden is ready for you."

Addison smiled. "Thanks." Derek's fingers were laced through hers and they stood together, following the nurse back to an empty room.

"Is this weird for you?" Derek asked, sitting down next to the bed as Addison perched on it, their fingers still intertwined.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you could do this. You could be your own doctor." Addison laughed. "You could!"

"I know. But I wouldn't want to. There's some stuff that I can't actually do."

"Like what?" Derek asked, leaning back in the chair. Addison cocked one eyebrow and he grinned. "Fine. Don't describe it."

"Okay." Addison leaned back.

"Add…!" He protested, fake pouting.

"Trust me, Derek. You don't want to know." He grinned and squeezed her hand as the doctor came in to the room.

"Good Morning, Drs. Shepherd."

Addison smiled. "Please, it's Addison."

"Derek." Derek said, smiling.

The other woman grinned. "Okay. Well, my name is Kendel Harden, and I'm going to be your prenatal doctor. How have you been doing, Addison?"

Addison shrugged. "Fine. The pregnancy has been going pretty well so far, but I have had a lot of morning sickness. Although, that's normal…"

Kendel nodded. "I forgot that you were a neonatal surgeon. Yeah, it's normal. How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks." Addison said, smiling and looking down at her protruding stomach.

"Really?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. I know. It's rather obvious that I'm pregnant. Most people can hide it until about 12 weeks."

Kendel nodded. "Alright, well, let's do an ultrasound." Addison slid back on to the bed, leaning back, her hand still tangled with Derek's. He was just watching her. He had noticed how much she glowed when they first found out that she was pregnant, but it was becoming more and more obvious. Being pregnant made Addison even more gorgeous than before. "Now I see. You're ten weeks pregnant with twins."

Derek's head jerked up. "Can you say that again?"

Kendel smiled. "Your wife is having twins, Derek." First his eyes widened, and then Derek turned to Addison, a wide grin on his face. She was smiling too. "I'll be right back."

"Twins." Derek whispered once Kendel had left. Addison nodded and Derek leaned against her as they looked at the ultrasound. Addison buried her nose in his hair. They stayed that way for longer than was necessary. But neither one of them cared.

* * *

**1:00 P.M.**

"How long has it been?"

Ellie's face reddened. "Since I walked in on you guys?" Derek nodded. "Years. Like 8 years."

"She didn't really walk in on anything." Addison said, swatting Derek on the arm. Derek laughed. "Was Richard upset?"

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "He was so mad. I felt horrible…but it was the first night I'd slept in two weeks. Obviously I have some catching up to do." Ellie avoided eye contact with Addison and looked down at her food.

"Ellie." She looked up, tears in her eyes. "I didn't sleep either." Ellie nodded, shoving her fork in to her salad.

"Hey. Ellie." She looked up at Derek, who was grinning. "Turn around." She turned, expecting to see someone, but was pegged in the back of the head with something, although she wasn't sure what.

"Hey!" Ellie reached for a cucumber and tossed it at Derek, the Italian Dressing on one side making it stick to his forehead. Ellie burst in to laughter. "Oops…"

"You're gonna pay for this." He said. Ellie kicked off her heels and scrambled out of her chair as Derek dove for her. He chased her out of the main cafeteria on to the patio, and they ended up on either side of the table that the interns were at. George was watching Ellie, and everyone else was trying to decide whether or not this was a real fight or just something immature. When Derek finally took the cucumber off his forehead and threw it at Ellie, they realized that it was immature. Inside, Addison was seated by herself, watching them.

"Hey." Addison was startled but smiled. "Where are Ellie and Derek?" Addison pointed outside and Mark followed her gesture, laughing when he saw Derek chasing Ellie around a table. "What happened?"

"Derek pegged her in the back of the head with a carrot, so she threw a cucumber at his head…and then they started chasing each other." Mark grinned and gestured for Addison to follow him. The two headed outside and after a minute, Mark caught Derek's eye. Derek was trying to focus on snagging Ellie, but when Mark made a few gestures with his hands, Derek grinned. Derek moved to the left, causing Ellie to move to her left and Mark dove in from the right, snagging Ellie by the waist. She shrieked as he pressed her against the outside wall. Mark wiggled his eyebrows and Ellie half-smiled while struggling against him. Derek and Addison were watching from behind them. "This is not going to be good."

"What? Why not?" Derek looked at Addison. "I thought they were sort of together."

"Not enough that this is going to be okay."

Derek cringed. "Oops."

"It's not your fault. He should have known better." Derek nodded and they watched as Mark leaned in to kiss Ellie. She finally pushed him away, swiftly making her way back in to the main room. Addison watched her slip in to her heels and snag her tray from the table. Mark had chased her inside.

"Ellie, wait…"

"Mark, I already told you. Not here. Not yet."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

Ellie sighed. "It's okay. I just…not yet." Ellie dumped her tray and walked out of the cafeteria, immediately running in to Richard, who was looking for her for a case. Mark watched them walk away and then turned around. No one was watching him anymore, but he knew they had been.

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Ellie was about to break her rule. She'd told Mark when he said that he was going to stay in Seattle for a month that there'd be no public displays of affection at the hospital. She wasn't ready for that yet. They weren't even really together. But now, he'd had flowers delivered to Addison's office for Ellie and was sitting in the cafeteria, hanging out until she could come talk to him. She took a deep breath and walked in to the cafeteria, immediately spotting him at a table in the corner. She walked up to the table and sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry." She said, before he could open his mouth. "I overreacted." Ellie sighed. "I've been doing a lot of that lately."

"Ellie…"

"No, Mark…" Ellie took a deep breath. "Do you really want to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Get tangled up in 'us' again?" Mark nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Ellie. I'm positive." Mark smiled and placed his hand on her arm. "I still love you. I already lost you once…I'm not going to lose you again."

Ellie smiled. "Okay."

Mark stared. "Okay?" She nodded. "Like…?"

"Mark…I want to go out with you again." Mark smiled and took a deep breath. He wanted to kiss her so bad, but he was going to respect her. His thoughts were interrupted when Ellie leaned in and kissed him, sliding from her chair to his, settling on his lap and sliding her tongue between his lips.

"Eliot!" Derek's voice made her jump and he was smiling when she turned to face him. "I need your help."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." She turned back to Mark and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll see you back at my place." He nodded and she left the cafeteria, following Derek down the hall.

"Is he going to do right by you this time?" Ellie smiled. "Because if not…"

"Derek. We're all starting over. Add and I are starting over, Mark and I are starting over…maybe you and Mark should start over." Derek stopped and looked down at the ground. "He loves me. And I still love him. Be happy for me."

"I am." Derek said. "But I liked George."

Ellie sighed. "Uh…"

"Sorry. I'm just worried."

Ellie grinned. "Don't worry." She lifted his chin. "Okay?"

Derek nodded. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "Come on. I need your help on something."

"Is it a case?"

Derek shook his head. "No. It's a surprise."

"For who?"

Derek smiled. "For Addison." Ellie smiled and followed Derek down the hall. Addison deserved a surprise. She'd been through hell.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Addison was on her way out when Ellie came running down the hall after her.

"Addie!" Ellie slid to a stop in front of Addison, her heels in her hands. "Hi."

Addison laughed. "Hi."

"How did your appointment go this morning?"

Addison grinned. "Good. Guess what?" Ellie shrugged. "We're having twins."

Ellie stared at her. "Seriously?" Addison nodded and Ellie shrieked, wrapping her best friend in a hug. "Oh my gosh. This is so cool." Addison nodded. "Ahh! I am so excited for you!"

Addison laughed. "Me too." Ellie hugged her again and then stepped back. "How late are you here?"

"Just until 8. There's an AA Meeting tonight."

"Is Richard going with you?" Ellie shook her head. "Are you going by yourself?"

"Nope." Ellie swallowed. "Mark is coming with me." Addison looked down. "Addie…"

"No, it's okay."

"It's not that I don't want you there. But Mark was standing there when Richard said he couldn't make it…look, I'm sorry."

Addison shook her head and smiled. "No, it's okay. I get it."

Ellie sighed. "I don't think you do. I'm not doing this on purpose. I'm really not."

Addison laughed. "I get it, El. I just want you to be able to talk about this thing with me."

"I know."

"Call me later?"

Ellie grinned. "Sure." As Addison left the hospital, Ellie smiled to herself. Addison would not want a call from her later. She knew that much.

* * *

Addison pulled up in front of the house and almost gasped. She could see the candles lit through the window and she smiled. She'd seen Derek leave early, but she hadn't been sure why. Now she knew. As Addison entered the house, the overpowering smell of Derek's mind-boggling lasagna filled her nose. The whole downstairs was covered in candles, and in the center of the dining room table was a bouquet of Tiger Lilies, Addison's favorite flower. She'd always loved when Derek brought her roses, but seeing the Tiger Lilies made her heart melt. She thought he had forgotten. 

"Derek?" Derek's head came around the corner from the kitchen and Addison smiled. "This is…"

"Sshh…" Derek stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on Addison's lips. "Don't say anything. Come with me." Derek led her in to the kitchen, where there were two large baskets on the counter. "These, are for the babies."

Addison laughed. "Derek…"

"No, look." Addison watched as Derek began to excitedly pull things out of each basket. Rattles, white bonnets, little baby shoes, bibs, binkies; and then Derek pulled a black photo album out of each basket. "We'll get these embossed once they're born; with their names on them, and they can have all these pictures…" Derek placed them on the table, shoving the baskets backwards. Addison was grinning from ear to ear. She had never seen Derek quite like this. Inside each photo album, on the first page, were two pictures. Underneath the larger one, in Ellie's swift handwriting, were the 6 words, "Mommy and Daddy, March 1, 1995." It was a picture that Savvy had taken at the wedding. Derek and Addison were dancing, her head on his shoulder; his hand in her hair. It was one of Addison's favorite pictures. Underneath was a recent photo, one Addison didn't even know had been taken. She was standing by the front desk at the hospital, and Derek was standing in front of her, his hands placed on her stomach, his lips on her forehead. Ellie's writing caught her eye again and Addison smiled. It said, "Mommy and Daddy, May 18, 2006".

"She took that just a few weeks ago." Addison said, smiling. Derek nodded. "Derek…all of this…it's perfect."

"Wait, hold on." Derek reached in to his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I've been going through names in my head all day."

Addison smiled. "Oh, Derek…"

"Okay, so I was thinking, Grace or Meagan if it's a girl, and Caleb or Dylan if it's a boy." Addison grinned. "I couldn't stop thinking about it all day." Addison was speechless. Derek was obviously ecstatic. Instead of responding, she pulled him in to a hug and pressed her lips to his.

"Derek…this is so perfect. I love it. All of it. The candles, the lilies, the baskets…" Addison kissed him again, this time harder. "You're amazing." Derek smiled and hugged her tight, pressing his lips to her forehead.

"I love you, Addie. So much."

"I love you too, Derek."

He stepped back and smiled. "You hungry?" Addison nodded and Derek moved towards the lasagna but Addison stopped him. "What?"

"Not for lasagna…" Addison pulled him towards her, fusing their lips together. Derek grinned against her lips and then pulled away, leading her up the stairs to their bedroom. Once inside, Derek placed her carefully on the bed, straddling her and lifting her shirt in one motion. Derek placed kisses all over her body from her belly button to her neck, causing Addison to moan softly with each touch. Derek wanted her more and more with each moan that came out of her mouth, and soon he was on the verge of not being able to control himself. He slid her skirt off of her body and his hand grazed her lower region, causing Addison to squirm and cry out. "Derek…" She wasn't even on the verge yet, but she was breathing his name because she needed him. He took off his jeans and slid her underwear off with one finger, sliding in to her in one swift motion. "God…"

"Add…" She looked in to his eyes, her own reflecting lust and love. "I love you more than anything. You know that, right?" Addison nodded and Derek kissed her deeply. Bliss was the only thing that could describe how both of the Shepherds felt.

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

_Thank you for helping him.  
__And nice job pretending you didn't know about the twins.  
__Call me later.__  
__A.  
__**8:02:46 P.M.**_

Ellie smiled and then turned off her phone as she and Mark pulled up in front of the church where her AA meetings were held. She was glad Addison liked what Derek had planned. Ellie had thought that it was perfect.

"Ready?"

Ellie turned to Mark and smiled. "Yeah." The couple got out of the car and before Ellie could make it around to the front, Mark had leaned her against the passenger side door.

"I just want you to know…you amaze me."

"Mark…"

"I'm serious. The fact that you owned up to your problem and are in the process of fixing it amazes me." Ellie blushed and Mark leaned in to kiss her. Ellie's whole body flushed. Mark had always made her feel that way. As if she was going to pass out from extreme pleasure any second.

"Stop." She whispered. Mark stepped back, confused. "Don't kiss me like that. Not right now. We're supposed to go in to an AA meeting…how am I supposed to focus when all I can think about is you?" Mark smirked and then took her hand, leading her in to the church.

"Good evening everyone, and welcome to AA. Do we have any new members, or people that haven't been here in a while?"

Ellie cleared her throat and stood, the small crowd turning to face her, both Mallory and Andrew smiling at seeing Ellie again. "Hi. My name is Ellie…and I'm an alcoholic."

**Okay. That's all I've got right now. Much love! – Mel.**


	45. Better Days

**Half Love**

"**Better Days"**

_And you ask me what I want this year  
And I try to make this kind and clear  
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days  
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings  
And desire and love and empty things  
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days  
__And it's someplace simple where we could live  
And something only you can give  
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive  
And the one poor child that saved this world  
And there's 10 million more who probably could  
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them –  
_"_Better Days"  
__By Goo Goo Dolls_

**June 12th, 2006**

**12:00 A.M.**

_Rain fell on Ellie's face as she stared down at the grass. She was gripping someone's hand, but she wasn't sure if it was Mark's or Addisons. The nails digging in to her skin made her think it was Addisons, but she never could be sure. It wasn't until a strong hand touched her back that she knew. Mark pressed his back against her, hugging her to him. Ellie dropped Addisons hand and spun around, folding herself in to Marks arms._

"_It's not your fault, Ellie. She was sick."_

"_I gave them a sick child. I…"_

_Mark lifted her head. "Eliot. You did nothing wrong. There was nothing anyone could have done to prevent this." Ellie let out a sob and Mark hugged her to him. He glanced over at Derek and Addison and Derek caught his eye. Both men were as devastated as their girls, but there was something about all four of them being the parents of this child that made it hard for Derek and Mark to pinpoint a problem. In a flash, Ellie had squirmed out of Mark's grasp and went bolting in the other direction. "Ellie…" Mark moved to race after her but was stopped by the tight grip of his best friend._

"_I'll go." Derek said, handing a sobbing Addison over to Mark. Mark took Addison in to his arms and hugged her tight, watching Derek go chasing after Ellie._

_Ellie hit her knees on the concrete, letting the rain fall around her. This was her fault. If she hadn't been so selfish; if she hadn't insisted that she and Mark give Kate up, Addison and Derek wouldn't be in this place. They wouldn't have lost a child._

"_Ellie…" Derek's hand touched her back and she squirmed away from him, standing up. "El…"_

"_Don't." She whispered. "Please…"_

"_Ellie, honey…"_

_She shook her head. "Don't, Derek. I don't deserve…"_

"_Deserve?" Derek whipped her around, staring her in the eye. "Since when was this about deserve? No one deserves to lose a child, Ellie, but…"_

_She shook her head again. "No, Derek, it's different. I could have kept Kate. I could have raised her with Mark, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to be responsible. If I had just kept her, you and Addison wouldn't be in this place. You wouldn't have lost a child." The tears streaming down Ellie's face mixed with the rain, and it wasn't until Derek heard her choke out a sob that he actually knew she was crying._

"_Ellie, it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault." Derek pulled her in to a hug as Mark and Addison came walking up to them. Derek did the only thing he knew how to do. He handed Ellie off to Addison and let the women cry in each others arms._

Ellie woke with a start, wriggling free of Marks grasp. He woke almost immediately, and sat up.

"Ellie?"

"I…" Ellie was taking short breaths, trying to calm down. "Uh…"

"What was it, baby?" Ellie looked at him and immediately he knew. "Kate." She nodded and burst in to held back tears. Mark hugged her to him, letting her cry in to his bare chest. "Ellie it wasn't your fault."

"Yes…"

"No." Mark snapped, tilting her head back so that he could look in to her blue-grey eyes. "It was no ones fault. There wasn't anything we could do."

"If I hadn't insisted that we give her up, Addison and Derek wouldn't have lost a child."

"Sure they would've." Mark said. "Ellie, they would have been Kate's godparents anyway." Ellie shook her head. "Listen to me, baby. This is in no way your fault. Addison and Derek do not blame you, I do not blame you…you can't blame yourself. It isn't fair to you." Ellie looked down, trying to avoid Marks gaze. "Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey. Look at me." Ellie looked up, tears streaming down her face. "It was not your fault. I need you to stop blaming yourself."

"Why?" She asked her voice cracking.

"Because. I want to one day marry you and make babies with you…" Ellie giggled. "I don't want you to always be worrying about what happened in the past." Mark kissed her softly on the lips, tasting the salt from her tears. "I need you to promise me that you won't let what happened with Kate affect our future."

"I…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I promise, Mark."

He smiled. "Okay." He kissed her forehead and leaned back, surveying the trailer from his position. "I still can't believe that you live here."

"It's temporary." She said, placing kisses on his bare chest, and working her way up to his lips.

"Ellie…" Mark smiled against her lips. "Ellie…"

"What?" She asked, sitting back.

"Baby, we have to get up early tomorrow so that I can fly back to New York…"

"I know." Ellie whispered. "It's my last night with you."

"We need to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep." Ellie said, cupping him through his boxers. Mark groaned and gave in. After all; he could sleep on the plane.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Meredith had poked her head in every door she could think of. Ellie was nowhere to be found. Finn was coming for lunch, and Meredith wanted to make sure that Ellie was free to join them, but she hadn't been able to locate her all morning. Addison had said that Ellie was dropping Mark off at the airport, but she should have been back by now. Meredith made her way up to the NICU, the only place she hadn't checked, and was actually a little surprised that Ellie wasn't there.

"Can I help you Dr. Grey?" The NICU nurse smiled.

"I'm looking for my sister…"

The nurse nodded. "She was just here. I think she may have gone up to the roof."

Meredith smiled. "Thank you." The nurse nodded and Meredith left the NICU and headed up the stairs, finding her sister leaning out over the railing, watching the city. "El?" Ellie turned around and smiled. "Are you alright?"

"Uh. Yeah." Ellie took a deep breath. "What's going on?"

"Finn's coming to the hospital for lunch. I just wanted to know if you might want to join us…"

Ellie smiled. "Yeah, Mere. I still haven't really met him, so yeah."

Meredith nodded. "Great." Meredith took a deep breath. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Mere…"

"Ellie, come on."

"I dropped Mark off at the airport this morning." Meredith nodded. "The thing is…I don't know if I want him to come back."

"Why not?"

"This past month has been great. But…I just broke up with George. And I don't know…I'm a little worried that Mark will hurt me again."

"Look, Ellie…" Meredith sighed and perched on the railing next to her sister. "As much as I love George, he broke up with you because he couldn't handle the craziness. Did Mark do that?"

"No. Mark slept with my best friend."

Meredith laughed. "Touché." Ellie grinned. "Well then explain to me what made you go back to him?"

"He's my other half."

"I thought…"

Ellie grinned. "Addison is my other half too…but with Mark…we've been through a lot together. We were friends first, lovers second. And I just…there's something about him that I can't let go of. George's great, but…I don't know. We're at completely different places. He's just starting out…and Mark knows me."

"Well there you go then." Ellie grinned. "Plus, uh, you should probably know that George is seeing someone."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

Meredith nodded. "Izzie set him up with one of her friends…"

"One of her model friends?" Meredith nodded. "How's that going?"

Meredith laughed. "I really have no idea." Ellie grinned and looked out over the city, jumping when her pager vibrated against her hip. "Who is it?"

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "It just says 'Flowers'. I have no idea what that means." Meredith laughed and followed Ellie back in to the building, the two women reaching the front desk in the surgical ward at the same time as George.

"Hi." He said, smiling. Ellie grinned back and reached for the card sitting in the flowers.

"Who are they from?" Meredith asked.

"Mark." Ellie said, still opening the envelope.

"How do you know that? You haven't even opened the envelope."

Ellie grinned and Meredith. "See how there are 11 white roses?" Meredith nodded. "And a pink one in the center?"

"Yeah."

"Only Mark does that." Ellie smiled and pulled the card out of the envelope. "I love you. And I'm so proud of you." Ellie cocked one eyebrow and looked at Meredith. "Any idea what he's talking about?"

Meredith grinned. "Maybe…"

"Mere…"

George cleared his throat from behind Ellie. "We have an all staff meeting, guys. We should go." Ellie nodded and she and Meredith followed George down the hall to the conference room. Ellie slid the card in to the back pocket of her jeans and made a mental note to call Mark when the meeting was over.

"Thanks for joining us." Richard said as the three entered the room.

"We are not late." Ellie said, getting an eyebrow raise from Richard. "The rest of you are just freakishly early." The room laughed and Ellie headed for the seat between Addison and Miranda. On her way there, she shot a look at Karev, who stepped out of the seat with a roll of his eyes. "Thanks." She said, flashing him a grin. He sighed and leaned against the wall.

"Are you finished?" Richard asked, sighing.

"Would you like me to be?"

"Yes."

Ellie grinned. "Then yes. I'm finished."

Richard smiled and stood, gathering two large envelopes from the desk. "Alright then. These, as many of you know, are contracts. They signify that whoever signs them is agreeing to my terms of employment. The two people that I'm going to ask to sign them already have contracts here, but these are upgraded ones." Richard grinned. "Some of you may have heard about what these contracts are for, but there are three people in here who do not know. As many of you were aware of, I was looking for someone to replace me when I go back to teaching at the beginning of next year. After much contemplation and discussion with the board, the decision has been made that Derek Shepherd will be taking over for me at the first of the year." Preston scowled and then leaned over and shook Derek's hand. The room began to clap, but Richard shook his head. "Because of this, we will need a new Head of Neurosurgery." At this, Ellie almost gasped. Meredith winked at her from across the room. This was what Mark had been referring to. "As of January 1, 2007, Eliot Grey will be taking over for Derek Shepherd as our Head of Neurosurgery." Ellie's face completely paled and Meredith panicked.

"El…" Meredith shot behind Richard and over to Ellie's chair, spinning it so that Ellie was facing her. "Are you okay?"

Ellie looked at Meredith and then back at Richard. "Are you sure?" Richard nodded. "I…"

"Eliot." Ellie turned so that she was facing Miranda. "You're a good surgeon."

"So are you." She said, wringing her hands. "And you've got more experience."

"Not in neurosurgery. You're perfect for this."

Ellie nodded and turned back to Richard. "And you're positive?" Richard nodded again. Ellie took a deep breath and turned to Meredith. "I'm fine."

Meredith smiled. "Okay."

Richard smiled. "Great. Now that the announcement has been made…" Ellie tried to listen to Richard but she couldn't focus. What if she wasn't ready for this? Or right for this? What if Mark wanted her to move back to New York? What then?

* * *

**12:30 P.M.**

Finn Dandridge stood near the front desk of the surgical ward, a nervous look on his face. He hadn't been in this hospital before, and he wasn't sure what to expect. He looked around expectantly, hoping that Meredith would come walking out of an exam room. The nurse had paged her almost 15 minutes before, but she hadn't shown up. He noticed a familiar looking blonde walking down the hall with Addison Shepherd, the wife of Doc's other owner, and he smiled. Maybe Addison could help him.

"Dr. Dandridge. How are you?" Addison asked, shaking his hand.

"Just fine, Dr. Shepherd. And please, it's Finn."

Addison smiled. "Well then you can call me Addison. It's only fair."

"You're Finn?" The blonde asked, her smile reminding Finn of Meredith. He nodded. "I'm Ellie. Meredith's sister."

"Oh." Finn smiled. "I was wondering why you looked familiar."

Ellie laughed. "Yes. Meredith and I look freakishly similar. But only when we're not standing together." Finn cocked one eyebrow. "It sounds weird, I know, but I'm one-fourth Guatemalan, and so when you put naturally tan me next to Meredith…"

Finn laughed. "I gotcha. You don't happen to know where she is, do you?"

Ellie nodded. "Unfortunately, she was called in to an emergency surgery. But, you're welcome to start having lunch with me, and she should be able to join us."

Finn smiled. "Okay. Sure."

Ellie grinned. "Great. I'll see you later, Add." Addison nodded and Finn and Ellie headed towards the cafeteria.

* * *

"So, you're a vet?" Ellie asked, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket in line. 

Finn nodded. "Yeah. Meredith and I met when she brought Doc in."

Ellie smiled. "That's what I hear."

"What is it that you do?" Finn asked, following Ellie outside to a table. "I mean, I know you're a surgeon…"

Ellie laughed. "Right now I'm a neurosurgical resident, but at the beginning of the year I'll be the Head of Neurosurgery."

Finn smiled. "Oh! Congratulations."

"Thanks." Ellie said, laughing and opening her sandwich. "So, how are things going with you and Meredith?"

Finn blushed. "Actually, they're going quite well." Ellie grinned. "I know we haven't been dating that long, but…"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm a firm believer in soul mates. And that you'll know when you meet yours."

Finn nodded. "Me too. And I happen to think that your sister is mine."

Ellie grinned. "I think she feels the same way."

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

Derek stared at the list on the fridge. It had gotten increasingly longer since Ellie and Mark were told that Addison was having twins, and it was almost too long now. His names of Grace or Meagan and Caleb or Dylan had been vetoed almost right away, but he didn't really mind that much. Every time Ellie and Mark had stopped by in the last two weeks, one or both of them had added a name. Derek was starting over with Mark. They were becoming friends again, which was good for both of them.

"Derek?" Addison came in to the house, a stack of papers in her arms. "What are you doing?"

"We need to either take this list off the fridge or tell Ellie and Mark that they aren't allowed to write on it anymore."

Addison laughed. "We don't we pick a final four?"

Derek grinned. "Really?" Addison nodded. "Okay." Derek took the stack of papers from Addison and set them on the counter before grabbing the list off of the fridge and leading Addison in to the living room.

"Derek…" Addison said laughing. "You want to do this right now?" Derek nodded. "Okay…"

"Are there any you like?"

"Baby, I like all of them."

"Addison, there are like 30 names on here."

Addison giggled. "Fine. Read off some of them."

"Okay." Derek slid his arm around Addison and she snuggled in to his chest. "Anna...Emma...Ella...Ava…Sophia...Rosalyn…Olivia...Cadence..."

"Stop. Did you just say Cadence?" Derek nodded and Addison ripped the sheet from his hand. "Ellie…I knew she would do that."

Derek contemplated for a moment, and then remembered. "Cadence was your moms name, right?" Addison nodded. "Well that's settled then. We'll name our daughter Cadence."

"What if we have two girls?"

Derek looked down at the list and then laughed. "Mark wrote Alina on there. How about that?"

Addison nodded. "Alina was your…" She grimaced. She couldn't remember.

Derek smiled. "My aunt. Don't worry about it, Addie. She was gone before I met you. I didn't talk about her much after she died." Addison nodded and looked down at the list. "Boys?"

"Blake…Max…Cole…David…Aaron…Anthony…Ian…Cameron…" Addison looked up at Derek and shrugged. "I don't know."

"I kind of like Anthony." Addison nodded. "What?"

"Nothing, I just…Jackson. That's the name I was looking for." Addison smiled. "I've always liked that name."

Derek smiled. "Okay. Jackson and Anthony it is." Derek kissed the top of her head and leaned back in the couch, letting Addison snuggled in to his chest.

"How does it feel to know you're going to be Chief of Surgery?" She asked, running one hand up and down his abs.

"I like it." Derek said, grinning as Addisons hand cupped his crotch. "Kind of like I like that." Addison laughed and Derek kissed her soundly, leaning her back in to the couch.

"Wait…" Addison laughed. "Derek, hold on. I need to run something past you."

"Right now?"

"Derek."

He laughed. "Okay, okay." He settled between her legs, placing his head on her stomach. "Go for it."

"Ellie and I are going out of town this weekend."

Derek shrugged. "Okay."

"We're going to go back to Orcas Island, and…"

"Addie." Derek looked up, smiling. "Okay. Honey, I want you to go out of town with Ellie whenever you want. You know that."

"I just wanted to run it past you."

Derek grinned. "It's fine, Add. Besides…all the more reason to have sex right now." Addison giggled as he attacked her neck with kisses, leaving one hand between her legs. Derek slid his fingers underneath the hem of her skirt and under the lace of her underwear, getting both a gasp and a moan from Addison.

"Derek…" She breathed, clutching the back of his head with one hand. Sometimes he was just too much. In the best possible way.

* * *

**June 13th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie groaned and leaned against the car. She had been up late on the phone with Mark, and he didn't mind because he didn't have to work. But she didn't think about it, and she had forgotten until almost two that she was leaving for Orcas Island with Addison at eight.

"You alright?" Derek asked, loading Addisons bags in to the back of Ellie's Mustang GT.

"I'm tired." She breathed, placing her head on the car.

"Up late?"

"Shove it."

"I don't want you driving if…"

"I'm not that tired." Ellie said, standing. "I was just on the phone pretty late. All I need is coffee."

"Coffee?" Addison asked, handing Ellie a to-go cup over the top of the car.

"Angel. Bless you." Ellie took a gulp of the coffee and smiled. "See Derek? I'll be fine."

"I just want you to be careful. You're carrying my children in that car."

"The wife, though, is of no value." Addison said, laughing. "Just the twins."

"Obviously." Derek said, cocking his eyebrow. He leaned in and kissed Addison, leaning her against the car.

Ellie wasn't paying attention, her eyes were closed, and when she opened them and looked over at Addison and Derek, she groaned. "Honestly. As if you didn't have enough time to fondle each other last night. Can we go?"

Addison laughed. "Yes." Derek stuck out his bottom lip and Addison grinned. "Two days, Derek. We'll be back in two days." Ellie groaned and got in the car. Addison kissed Derek one last time and slid in to the passenger seat. Ellie roared away from the Shepherds house, leaving Derek standing alone on the sidewalk.

* * *

"So have you guys picked out names yet?" 

Addison smiled and leaned over the edge of the ferry. "Yeah. Thanks for adding Cadence."

Ellie grinned. "Sure thing. So what did you guys pick?"

"Cadence, Alina, Jackson and Anthony."

Ellie stared. "I'm sorry. I thought you were having two."

Addison laughed. "We are. We don't know the sex yet."

"Are you going to find out?"

Addison shrugged. "Maybe. We haven't decided yet."

Ellie nodded. "Oh."

"How's Mark?"

Ellie smiled. "Good. He's good."

"Did you tell him about the Head of Neurosurgery position?"

Ellie glared. "He already knew and you know it." Addison laughed. "I got the flowers five minutes too early."

Addison smiled. "I told him not to send them until the afternoon."

Ellie shrugged. "It was sweet."

"When is he coming back?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm not sure." She looked away from Addison and out over the water. "I still haven't decided if I want him to."

"What? Why not?"

Ellie shrugged. "I guess…I don't know. I'm just a little worried. I don't want him to give up his practice and have us fall apart again."

"Ellie…you need to have faith in Mark."

"It's not Mark I'm worried about." Ellie said, looking at Addison. Addison looked panic for a second. "It's me."

"What do you mean?" Addison asked, leaning towards her best friend.

"I'm worried, Addie. I'm afraid that this time I'm going to screw up."

"What happened to starting over?"

Ellie sighed. "We did. We started over. But the thing is…if we forget what happened in the past, Mark is the perfect one, and I'm the one with all the problems. I'm the one that's more inclined to screw up."

"Why?" Addison asked, looking Ellie in the eye.

"Because, back then, before the affair, and the loss of Kate…that was when I didn't have any issues. Those were my better days. And these…" Ellie took a deep breath. "These are his."

* * *

**Oh. Snap! Alright. Hope you liked the names. And whatever else happened. And…yeah. Review please! – Mel.**


	46. The Lucky One

**Half Love**

"**The Lucky One"**

_I got no place I should go  
I got no worries you know  
Second or seventh street  
It doesn't matter to me  
'cause you're mine  
That's all I need to know  
The sunshine's everywhere we go  
It's so right cause I've got you to hold  
Every night yeah  
I'm the lucky one  
I'm the lucky one –  
_"_The Lucky One"  
__By Faith Hill_

**June 27th, 2006**

**11:00 A.M.**

Derek pulled up in front of the airport and let out a huge sigh. Since their trip to Orcas Island, Addison and Ellie had been spending a lot of time together, and he hadn't gotten a lot of time with his wife. Now that Mark was back, Derek knew he was going to get some alone time with Addison, and he actually couldn't wait.

"Hey." Mark said, tossing his bags in to the back. "How's it going, man?"

Derek laughed. "Um. Your girlfriend stole my wife. You have no idea how glad I am that you're back."

"Sex-deprived?"

Derek nodded. "Not to mention wife-deprived entirely. Addison's been either at the hospital or at the trailer every night for the last two weeks. I don't know what it is that they're doing together…but I haven't seen her."

Mark grinned. "Derek, they used to do that all the time."

"Yes, and I used to have you. For the last two weeks it's been me. And maybe one of the interns."

"You hang out with the interns?" Mark asked, laughing as they pulled away from the airport.

"Just Stevens and Karev. I used to hang out with O'Malley, but that kind of died when he and Ellie broke up."

Mark nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Derek looked over at him as they stopped at the light. "But now you're back. This means that either you and I hang out, or you take Ellie." Derek laughed. "No offense, but I'd prefer the second one."

Mark laughed. "Hey man, me too." Mark sighed. "How's Eliot doing?"

"You haven't talked to her?"

Mark shook his head. "No, I've talked to her, but I can't read her over the phone. I need to see her eyes."

Derek nodded. "She's okay. She still needs you to get a good night sleep." Mark nodded. "But other than that she's okay. She and Addison have gotten back to their sorority sister phase…"

"Really?"

Derek laughed. "Sans the alcohol. And the partying. But they're inseparable. It half drives me nuts and half makes me really happy."

Mark grinned. "That's good. Addison was so devastated when she lost Eliot, and then Eliot was like that when she lost Addison. I'm glad they're back to that place."

Derek nodded. "Me too."

Mark sighed. "You think we'll ever get back there, Derek?"

"To a sorority sister phase?"

Mark laughed. "Yes. That's exactly what I meant."

Derek laughed. "I don't know, Mark. Probably. It's hard for me, you know?" Mark nodded. "But, as per both Ellie and Addison's request, I'm starting over. So, you know, maybe." Mark nodded and the men rode the rest of the way to Seattle Grace in silence.

* * *

"So…Mark will be back today." 

Ellie stared at Addison. "As if I didn't already know that."

Addison laughed. "Well, you know…you've been talking about it non-stop for the last two days, and yet you haven't said a word today."

Ellie shrugged. "I'm a little nervous."

"Nervous?" Addison giggled. "Why?"

Ellie looked down. "I just…I don't know. The first thing he's going to want to do is have sex…"

"Ellie you love sex."

Ellie stared. "Thanks."

"Well…you do!" Ellie sighed. "Honey, you're working yourself up over nothing. What is going on?"

"I'm still worried."

"Stop worrying."

"Easy for you to say."

"You're aggravating, you know that?"

Ellie grinned. "Well…I try."

Addison smiled. "Just relax. You love him, right?" Ellie nodded. "That's all you need."

"All you need is love?" Addison nodded. "Come on, Add…"

"She's right, you know." A low sultry voice startled Ellie, who jumped and spun around. "Hey."

"Mark…" She smiled and jumped in to his arms, letting him hold her tight to his body. Without another word, they moved away from the front desk and in to the nearest on-call room. "God I missed you."

"You have no idea." Mark breathed. "I thought about you every second." Ellie grinned. "I couldn't wait to get back here." Ellie smiled wider. "Richard offered me a job here."

Ellie's eyes sparkled. "I know, babe, you told me."

"I was just…checking."

"Checking what?"

Mark sighed. "Sometimes…on the phone, I can't tell how you're really feeling. I didn't know if you were really happy or not."

Ellie frowned. "Of course I was." She sighed and leaned in to Mark. "I was just tired, baby. That's all." Mark held her to him, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm so tired."

"Derek said you weren't sleeping." Ellie nodded in to his chest, her eyes already closed. "Baby, what is it?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. I just…I can't sleep without you." Mark couldn't help but smile. It felt good to know that he was needed. "I don't know why…"

"Hey. Come on." Mark led her towards the bottom bunk and sat down. "How long do you have?"

Ellie looked at her watch. "I have a surgery in two hours."

Mark nodded. "Okay." He reached for his own watch and set the alarm before lying down on the bed. "Come on. We'll take a nap."

Ellie smiled with gratitude and lay down next to him, curling up so that her head was lying on his chest. "Thank you."

Mark scoffed. "Thanking me is unnecessary, Eliot." He wrapped his arms around her as she curled her body in to his. It felt amazing to hold her, and soon she was asleep.

"Hey…" Addison walked in to the on-call room and stopped. "Oh…"

"Yeah." Mark whispered, smiling.

"She really needed sleep."

He nodded. "I know."

Addison grinned. "Okay. Well, have you seen my husband?"

Mark cringed. "Oops. I was supposed to tell you that he was waiting for you in your office." Addison laughed. "Sorry. I got a little caught up in the moment."

Addison nodded. "Don't worry about it. Dinner tonight? All four of us?"

Mark smiled. "Sure thing, Addison." Addison smiled and left, and soon, Mark was as asleep as Ellie.

* * *

Addison stepped in to her office and found Derek sitting in her chair, his eyes closed. 

"Derek?" Derek opened his eyes and smiled. "Sorry…Mark all but forgot…"

Derek laughed. "Figures." Derek stood and pulled Addison in to a hug. "I've missed you."

"Missed me? Derek, I've been here…"

"You've been with Ellie." He said, placing his forehead against hers. "I've missed holding you."

Addison whimpered. "Oh, Derek…" He leaned in and kissed her, massaging his tongue against hers. "Derek…you know what I want to do?" He shook his head, his eyes gleaming. "Sleep."

"What?" Derek stepped back, confused.

"I just want you to hold me, Derek."

He looked in to her eyes and, noticing how sincere she was, nodded in agreement. "Okay." Derek shut the door to her office and led her to the couch. He lay down first, his back against the couch cushions, and she lay down next to him, her back against his stomach. Derek wrapped one arm around her and breathed in deep, relishing in the smell of her hair. Sure, he wanted sex, but just holding Addison was sometimes even better.

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

Ellie stepped out of her surgery, running her fingers through her hair. She was immediately pulled in to an empty room, and, expecting to find Mark, was shocked to see George standing in front of her.

"Uh…hi…"

George sighed. "I didn't mean to yank you in here like that, but I needed to talk to you."

Ellie nodded. "Okay, George. Go ahead."

George took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have abandoned you like that. When you needed me. And I am so sorry about the way I did it. That was horrible of me." Ellie opened her mouth but George shook his head. "Let me talk. Please." Ellie nodded, albeit reluctantly. "I've missed you so much. Every where I go, I find something that reminds me of you. Everything reminds me of you. I can't eat, I can't sleep…and as much as you and the Shepherds drive me nuts, I love you, and the way the four of us are together cracks me up and makes me want to be a part of your nuts-o family for the rest of my life." Ellie was crying at this point, because she knew, she was going to break his heart. "I am so sorry, El. I just…I feel in love with you the moment I met you, and I don't think I can see me surviving much longer without you." George finally looked at Ellie and cringed.

"Oh George…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I…I'm sorry, George. I never meant to break your heart this way, but…" Ellie wiped her tears and sighed. "I'm still in love with Mark, George. I think I always have been, and I fell in love with you, I did, but…there's something about Mark…"

"Ellie, he hit you." George snapped.

Ellie sighed. "Twice. And both times, he was drunk."

"Don't make excuses for him…"

"I can make excuses for whoever the hell I want, George!" Ellie sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "This really isn't any of your business. I'm sorry if I broke you, but…I love Mark, George, and you and I…we're over. We have been for more than a month."

"What I don't understand is why you immediately went back to Mark."

Ellie sighed, reaching for the door handle. "I don't think I ever really left Mark." Ellie opened the door. "I'm sorry, George." Ellie left the room and George cursed to himself. If only he'd said something sooner.

* * *

Ellie raced down the hall and flew in to Addison's empty office. She shut the door and slammed down in the chair. Everything had gone wrong. George wasn't supposed to want to get back together with her. He was supposed to be happy with this person that Izzie set him up with. He wasn't supposed to still be in love with her. She hated that she broke him, but there wasn't anything she could do. She couldn't very well lead him on. Ellie took a deep breath and composed herself before leaving the office. She had work to do, and then a double date to go on, and there was no way she could function properly if she was worried about George.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

"Ellie…Ellie…Ellie!"

Ellie's head snapped in Addison's direction. "I'm fine."

Addison laughed. "Honey, nobody asked how you were."

Ellie cringed. "Shit."

Addison smiled. "What happened?"

Ellie sighed. "George happened."

Addison cringed. "Uh-oh."

"Yeah." Ellie sighed and leaned against the bathroom counter. They were in Addison and Derek's house, waiting for Derek and Mark to pick them up for dinner. "He said that he was still in love with me, and that he missed me…"

"Didn't you expect that eventually?"

Ellie shrugged. "I actually expected it a long time ago. I was expecting him to tell me that weeks ago. And when he never did…I guess I just didn't think about it again." Ellie sighed. "It just caught me off guard."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

Ellie shrugged. "I wasn't planning on doing anything." Addison smiled. "I told George that I was in love with Mark, and that I probably have been for most of our relationship."

"Ouch."

"**Not** helping."

Addison laughed. "Sorry." Addison turned to Ellie and grinned. "Well, at least you're not in the decision making stage anymore."

Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Two weeks ago, you still weren't sure what you would do if George said anything to you. Now you know." Ellie smiled. "You chose Mark."

Ellie nodded as the doorbell rang. "I did. I chose Mark." Addison smiled as the doorbell rang again and the two women made their way out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Standing at the front door was a man neither woman had seen before.

"Good evening, Ladies. My name is Michael, and I'll be your driver for the evening. Are you both ready?" Ellie looked at Addison, who nodded and they followed Michael down the steps and to the stretch limo that was waiting at the bottom of the driveway. Before Michael could open the door, Mark stepped out, followed by Derek, and both women smiled. Though they hadn't been expecting anything more than dinner, they had a feeling the night was going to be perfect.

* * *

As the limo pulled up in front of _Campagne_, a nice French restaurant Derek and Mark had discovered, Ellie leaned over to Mark. 

"What is this?" She asked as Addison and Derek got out of the limo.

"What are you talking about?"

"Mark…"

He sighed and smiled. "Ellie, when was the last time Derek and I took you and Addison out for a nice dinner?" Ellie shrugged. "Exactly. We just wanted to take you out."

"There's nothing crazy going on?"

"No…" Mark reached over and shut the limo door, getting a strange look from Addison, who was standing right outside the door. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Mark, I just…"

"What, Eliot?"

Ellie looked down. "I still remember the last time we went somewhere nice, Mark. You and Addison planned it. I just…"

"You still don't trust me."

Ellie's eyes widened. "I did not say that."

"But you don't. Otherwise this wouldn't be an issue."

"Mark…"

"Eliot, you said we were starting over."

"We are…"

"If we're really starting over, then what are you so worried about?"

"I'm not worried, I…"

"Stop lying to me!" He snapped. Ellie jumped. "If you're not worried, then what is it?"

Ellie shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Mark. I'm just paranoid." She sighed and his face fell.

"Eliot, I'm sorry, I…"

Ellie shook her head. "No, Mark, it's fine." She kissed him softly on the mouth, fighting tears. "Don't worry about it, okay?" Mark nodded and led her out of the car, taking his hand in hers.

"Everything alright?" Addison asked as they finally went in to the restaurant. Mark looked at Ellie.

"Everything's fine." Ellie said, smiling. Addison nodded, albeit skeptical, and the foursome went in to the restaurant.

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

"You're driving me nuts." Derek hissed across the table. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Ellie snapped, glancing at Mark. "Would you leave me the hell alone?" Derek held up his hands in defense and leaned back in his chair. Addison had gotten up to use the restroom, and Mark was at the bar, getting drinks for himself and Derek. They had finished dinner and were sitting, enjoying each others company. Although, Ellie was in a bad mood, and both Derek and Addison could sense it.

"Could you snap out of it then? We're trying to have a nice night, and it is most certainly not working with you in such a bad mood."

"Fuck off." Ellie snapped, standing as Mark reached the table with the drinks. She smirked and then left for the bathroom, passing Addison on the way there.

"You alright?" Addison asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"I'm fine." Ellie said, forcing a smile and continuing on to the bathroom. She stepped inside and waited until the one other woman that was in there had left before bursting in to tears that had been held in for two hours. She was alone in the bathroom for barely a minute before the door flew open and Mark waltzed in. "What are you doing?" Ellie snapped, looking up as he locked the door. "Mark…"

"You need to tell me what's wrong." Ellie looked away from him. "Eliot…"

"I don't…I don't know, Mark. I guess…I ran in to George today, and I just realized that there is so much in our past…"

"Eliot…"

"You hit me, Mark. Do you not remember that?"

Mark cringed. "Of course I remember. And I want to be beat myself to a pulp every goddamn day for ever hurting you." Mark put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. "If I could take back everything I've ever done that hurt you, I would. God, Eliot…you know I would." Ellie leaned against the counter, facing the stalls and took a deep breath. "Baby, I need you to trust me."

"I do." She said, her voice low. "I really do." Ellie looked down at the floor. "It's me I don't trust, Mark."

"What?" Mark lifted her head so that he could look in to her eyes. "Why?"

Ellie sighed. "I'm so afraid that I'm going to screw up. That I'm going to be the reason for us breaking up."

"We're not going to break up."

"Mark, you don't know that!"

He nodded. "Yes, I do."

"No…"

"Ellie, listen to me." She looked at him and nodded. "You know me. You know I'm not a Godly man. But I thank God every day for letting me back in to your life. I thank God for convincing you to get back together with me. I screwed up once, Ellie, and I screwed up bad. I had met this perfect person for me, and I was so lucky…I got cocky. I thought nothing bad could ever happen, and then it did. I screwed up, and I am so sorry." Mark looked down at the floor briefly before looking back up at Ellie. "And I got lucky again. You picked me again. And I will never forgive myself if I screw up with you again."

Ellie wiped tears from her eyes and sighed. "What about me, Mark? What if I mess up?"

Mark shook his head. "You wont."

"You don't know that…"

Mark smiled. "I have faith in you, Eliot. I have so much faith in you. And I love you so much…" A smile broke over Ellie's face. "Are you feeling better now?"

She nodded. "I love you too, Mark. I really do."

"Okay." Mark pulled her in to a hug, planting soft kisses all over her face, from her forehead to her lips. Ellie captured his lips with her own and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist. Mark set her on the counter and braced himself with one hand on the mirror. The pent-up sexual frustration that had been hiding for the last two weeks and had begun to surface when Mark and Ellie first saw each other that morning was on the verge of ripping Ellie's clothes off when someone knocked on the door. Mark groaned and slammed one hand on the counter. "We're in a restaurant."

Ellie nodded, flushed. "I forgot." Mark lifted her off the counter and laced their fingers together as he unlocked the door and they slipped sheepishly past the woman who was standing outside the door.

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

Ellie had barely gotten through the door of the trailer before she was in Mark's arms. Kisses were long since needed; both of them had been fidgety since they'd gotten back to the table, and Ellie running her hand up and down Mark's leg the whole limo ride back to the trailer had not helped. Mark's jacket, shirt and tie were off immediately, and Ellie's dress came unzipped and fell to the floor before she could reach his belt. Ellie fell back on to the belt and squirmed as Mark removed her heels and stockings in a painstakingly slow motion. Mark's hand slid under the hem of her underwear and Ellie let out a shriek as his fingers dipped inside her.

"Mark…" She breathed, bringing his head up to hers. She devoured his lips, squirming underneath him as his fingers thrust in and out. Ellie shook her head. "Stop."

"El…"

"No. I don't want your goddamn fingers, Mark. I want you." Mark grinned. His favorite thing about her; she was blunt. "Please." He nodded and undid his belt and slid his pants and boxers off in one swift motion before sliding her panties off and positioning himself above her.

"I love you." He whispered, sliding in to her. She tried to whisper it back, but the minute he slid in to her, she lost all powers of speech. But he knew. He knew.

* * *

Addison's hand pounded the bed in a steady rhythm. Derek was working magic with his tongue and it was driving her nuts. He dipped in and out slowly, making Addison catch her breath with every movement. When he knew she was beginning to climax, he slid a pillow underneath her hips so that they angled in just the right way, and dipped his tongue in one final time. Addison took a sharp breath in and then shrieked, one hand slamming in to the bed, the other gripping Derek's hair. 

"Jesus…" She breathed. Derek kissed his way up her body, softly placing his head on her belly. "Do you know how long…?"

"Too long." He said, half-frowning. Addison nodded slowly, breathing deeply; trying to come down from her second high of the evening. "I love you, Addie."

"I love you, Derek." She said, smiling. Derek placed his head on the pillow next to hers, and Addison curled up so that her back was facing him. As their naked bodies melted together and Derek placed one hand on her pregnant belly, he knew there was no place he'd rather be.

* * *

**Hope you guys like it! Review please! – Mel.**


	47. How Your Love Makes Me Feel

**So I was trying to be cool like Kendel and come up with reasons why this took me so long…but I can't. I basically lost all motivation. And went out of town and was without a computer for five days. That's my excuse. Deal with it.**

"**How Your Love Makes Me Feel"**

_I'm no poet and I know it, I don't use five dollar words  
This might not sound like much compared to all the pretty things you've heard  
But here's how I'd explain it since you brought it up  
It won't sound like anybody else's version of love  
It's like just before dark, jump in the car  
Buy an ice cream and see how far we can drive before it melts kinda feelin'  
That's how your love makes me feel inside  
There's a cow in the road and you swerve to the left  
Fate skips a beat and it scares you to death and you laugh until you cry  
That's how your love makes me feel inside –  
_"_How Your Love Makes Me Feel"  
__By Diamond Rio_

**July 3rd, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie banged on the Shepherds front door and sighed loudly.

"El…"

"I told them nine. Nine o'clock!"

Mark laughed. "Ellie…"

"We're going to miss our flight." She snapped, banging on the door.

"We're flying somewhere?" Ellie grimaced. "Addison can't fly, she…"

"Addison can fly. Dr. Harden, Richard and Derek all okayed it."

"Derek knows where we're going and I don't?"

Ellie sighed. "No. He just knows that we're flying."

"That's more than I knew." Mark said, placing his hands on his hips. "And I'm your boyfriend."

"Mark, this argument is entirely unnecessary right now."

"I know." Mark laughed and wrapped his arms around Ellie's waist. "Baby, you need to calm down."

Ellie groaned in to his chest. "I know. I just…the four of us only went away together once. To Paris. Addie planned it. It was perfect. How do you top perfection?" Ellie looked up at Mark. "Specifically Addison perfection?"

Mark smiled. "You want to know why it was perfect? Because it had nothing to do with Addison."

"Oh really? Then what was it? Because as far as I knew…" Mark leaned in and cut Ellie off, capturing his lips with hers and pressing her against the side of the house. His hands slid up her sides, traveling under her shirt and pressing in to her back. Ellie moaned against his lips as the front door opened and Derek and Addison came out on to the front porch.

"I think they got bored waiting for us." Addison whispered as they headed past them.

Derek grinned. "Get a room." He said as they walked down the stairs. Mark lifted Ellie in to the air and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Guys!"

Mark pulled away from Ellie and grinned. "Now do you remember?"

Ellie nodded, trying to catch her breath. "Yeah." She smiled. "I remember."

"Hey. McHorny and McSlutty. Can we go please?" Ellie burst in to laughter and slid down the side of the house.

Mark turned around. "What did you just call me?"

"McHorny. Are you about ready?"

Mark looked back at Ellie. "Did you hear what he said?"

Ellie stood, laughing. "Yeah." Mark let his jaw drop slightly. "He was joking."

"I was not." Derek said, leaning against Ellie's car. "We'd like to go."

Ellie laughed. "Fine. Addie gets shotgun if we're taking my car."

"Then we'll take Dereks." Mark said, grinning.

Ellie shook her head. "Addie would still get shotgun."

Mark made a face. "Fine. We'll take the GT." Ellie grinned and moved around to the front of the car. Mark got in first, sliding behind the drivers seat.

"Are they always like this?" Derek asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"Like what?" Addison asked.

"Flirty."

Addison laughed. "Honey, its Ellie and Mark."

Derek nodded. "I guess. I just don't remember them being this way before."

"They were. A lot."

Derek nodded. "Okay." Almost immediately, Ellie honked the horn, and when Derek finally opened the door and slid in next to Mark, she turned around to face him. "What?"

"What were you doing?"

"Hey, if you two are McHorny and McSlutty, we're McHornier and McSluttier."

Ellie made a face. "Ugh. Ew." Addison laughed and they finally pulled away from the house, only Ellie knowing what was in store.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

"So…New York, huh?" Mark asked, hugging his body close to Ellie's. "Good choice, El."

She smiled. "I try, you know?"

Mark grinned. "I know. You try. And you do your best." Ellie made a face and planted a soft kiss on his lips before leaning in to him. Across the aisle, Addison was snuggled up to Derek, his hands on her stomach.

"They look happy." Ellie whispered, grinning.

"I think they are." Mark placed a kiss on her forehead. "Are you happy, El?"

She looked up at him, a soft smile on her face. "Yeah. I'm happy."

"I don't want you to not be happy, Eliot. I want you to be in a relationship that you want to be in. I want you…"

"Mark, I am happy. With you. I really am." Ellie looked up at him. "As long as you want me, that's what counts."

"Well I want you." Mark said, smirking. "Especially right now." He raised one eyebrow and Ellie giggled. "You up for it?"

"Seriously?" Mark nodded. "Okay…"

He laughed and grinned. "I'll go in first."

Ellie giggled. "Okay." Mark stood and went in to the bathroom. Addison glanced over at Ellie, who grinned.

"Seriously?" Addison mouthed. Ellie nodded and Addison laughed, turning back to her husband. Ellie glanced around first class and then headed over to the bathroom. She tapped lightly on the door and was startled when Mark opened it and yanked her in.

"Hi." She said, giggling. Mark didn't speak, just locked the door behind her and lifted her so that her butt was resting on the small counter. "Is this safe?" She asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Eliot…" Mark groaned and pressed their foreheads together. "It's fine. Do you not want to do this?" Mark pressed his hand between her legs, causing Ellie to squirm. "Because if you don't want to…"

Ellie sighed as his fingers massaged against her. "No, I want to." Mark grinned and kissed her, leaning her back so that he could lift her underwear off from underneath her skirt.

"I love when you wear skirts." He whispered, slipping his fingers inside of her and thrusting with a rhythm Ellie hadn't experienced in over a year.

"Mark…"

"Let me." He whispered, kissing the base of her neck. Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck as his fingers picked up a faster pace. Ellie was gasping and moaning in his ear, which was driving Mark crazy. She leaned back, placing her head on the mirror as he thrust deeply with two fingers and played with her clit with his thumb. Ellie dove in and kissed him as she moaned, trying to conceal the sound. Mark could feel Ellie beginning to shake and soon she completely let go, filling his mouth with a moan and a soft shriek as her juices covered his hand.

"God." She whispered, her lips still pressed against his. "Your fingers are dangerous."

"Did you not remember that?" Ellie shook her head, laying her forehead in to the crook of his neck. Almost immediately she was sucking at his neck, and worked her way up to where his ear met his neck, which was the only place that made Mark go weak. He undid his belt buckle and she slid her legs around his waist. "I don't have a condom…"

"You don't need one." She said, kissing him on the lips. "I'm on the pill." Mark nodded and thrust in to her. He'd actually been hoping that she would be okay with the prospect of a baby, but he figured he shouldn't push it. After all, it's not like they were getting married.

* * *

Ellie straightened her skirt and slipped out of the bathroom. She grinned at Addison as she sat down next to the window, looking out over the scenery. Soon Addison was next to her, grinning. 

"So. You guys finally joined the mile high club."

Ellie laughed. "Uh huh. And you're been members for how long?"

"Oh, years." Addison said, laughing. Ellie cocked one eyebrow and grinned at Mark as he sat down next to Derek. "No, uh, we joined, I guess, on the way back from New York a few months ago."

Ellie laughed. "I know. You told me then." Addison laughed and leaned in to the back of the chair. "You doing alright?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. This was a really great idea, Ellie."

Ellie grinned. "Well, you and I love the Fourth of July in New York. So I figured what better way to spend it."

"Yeah." Addison smiled and both women turned to watch Derek and Mark, who were engrossed in a game of poker. Derek winked at Addison, and when Derek was glancing at his cards, Mark turned around and smiled at Ellie. As Addison leaned her head on Ellie's shoulder and the two women proceeded to sleep, their heads were playing images from the years to come.

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

The town car pulled up in front of Mark's place on Park Avenue and Ellie stepped out, a smile on her face. It had been a while since she'd been inside Mark's Central Park Brownstone, and she had always loved it.

"Ready to go in?" Mark asked, tugging Ellie towards the door. She nodded and let him drag her up the steps as the driver unloaded their bags from the trunk. As they went inside the front door, Ellie felt at home again. Mark helped the driver and Derek carry the bags inside and then paid the driver quickly before taking Ellie's hand again and leading her up the stairs.

"Mark, I've seen your place before."

"I painted since the last time you were here." Ellie laughed and followed him up the stairs to the second floor. They walked down the hall, hand in hand, to the master suite. It wasn't until Mark opened the door that Ellie had a problem. Though the bedroom was painted a grey-purple, it was the overpowering smell of a woman's perfume that drove Ellie nuts.

"When was the last time you were here?" Ellie asked, leaning in the doorway. It wasn't until Addison and Derek came up behind them that Ellie knew what it was. Ellie gagged and raced in to Marks bathroom, slamming the door shut. She threw up once in to the toilet before Mark came in to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Eliot…"

"Do you know what your room smells like?" She asked, trying to remain calm. It was highly likely that she was overreacting. Mark shook his head, confused. "It…" Ellie glanced at the counter and saw a bottle of Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue on the counter. "It smells like Addison."

Mark raised his eyebrows. "Eliot, I don't know what you're talking about." He followed her gaze to the bottle on the counter and sighed. "That bottle is almost a year old, Eliot. I've had a housekeeper coming in for the last couple of months…she probably just sprayed it to make the room smell nice." Ellie sighed. "You didn't think that…?"

Ellie shook her head. "I didn't think at all. I just smelled Addison and freaked. I'm sorry."

Mark kissed the top of her forehead. "Don't worry about it. I'll toss it and Addison and Derek can stay in here. Is that okay?" Ellie nodded, tears springing to her cheeks. "Hey, hey…what is it?"

"I feel like a jerk. I trust you, I just freaked out…"

"Eliot, it's okay. It's not a big deal." Mark kissed the tears off her cheeks and smiled. "Come on; let's go watch a movie, or something, okay?" Ellie nodded and stood, wiping her mouth with a towel as Mark tossed the bottle in to the nearest trash can. They walked out of the bathroom with Mark's arm around her.

"Are you okay?" Addison asked. Ellie nodded and slid past the three of them and down the steps. "What's going on?"

Mark shook his head. "Nothing. It was an old bottle of perfume and a freak out, that's all. You two can stay in here, if that works." Addison nodded as Derek brought their bags up the stairs.

"Where…?" Mark pointed to the room and Derek slid the bags between Mark and Addison. "What's going on?"

Mark shook his head. "Nothing. I actually need to ask you guys something." Mark poked his head out the door and then shut it. He went to the bedside table and pulled out a small blue box. "I bought this when I was here a few weeks ago. But I don't know…" Mark opened the box and revealed a silver Tiffany setting engagement ring.

"Oh, Mark…" Addison put her hand to her mouth and looked at Derek, who was grinning.

"It comes with a Channel-set wedding band…" Mark grinned. "You think she'll like it?"

Derek nodded. "She'll love it, Mark. When are you going to propose?"

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't planning on being back in New York until the end of the month at least…but now that we're here, and I have the ring…" Mark sighed. "I don't know. I'm afraid she won't say yes."

Addison shook her head. "Mark she loves you."

He sighed. "I know, but…we've been through so much…"

"The worst she can do is say no." Derek said. "Addison said no the first time, remember?"

Mark grinned. "Yeah, I remember. You were a wreck, man."

Derek glared. "Thanks."

Mark shrugged and smiled. "I do what I can." Addison grinned and gripped Derek's hand. "We should go downstairs. Ellie's waiting." Mark slid the ring in his pocket.

"Wait. You can leave that in here. Otherwise she might find it." Derek said, holding his hand out. Mark placed the box in Derek's hand and smiled. "Go join your girl." Mark left the room and went down stairs. "You think she'll say yes?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. But it's like you said…the worst she can do is say no."

* * *

**July 4th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie came flying through the front door, Mark on her heels. "Oh, I so won."

"You cheated."

"I did not!"

"You cut the corner."

"It's a goddamn corner, Mark. You don't have to go from end to end."

"You cut the corner so that you would win."

Ellie laughed. "Who are you, Derek? Fair is fair, pookie."

"Hey! Don't insult me. I was not involved." Derek yelled from the kitchen. Ellie giggled and Mark threw her over his shoulder, carrying her past the kitchen.

"Put me down." She demanded, beating on his back.

"Sorry to interrupt your breakfast." Mark said, smiling at Addison and Derek. "But I need to take this loser upstairs. She went running and she kind of smells."

"Oh right. Like I smell any worse than you." Ellie made a face and grinned at Addison as Mark carried her up the stairs, still over his shoulder.

"Are you feeling okay this morning?" Derek asked, wrapping his arms around his wife's waist and leaning against her back.

"Yeah. The morning sickness is finally starting to go away. Sort of. It was bad earlier."

"I know. I heard you up. You locked the bathroom door." Addison looked down and Derek spun her so that he could look her in the eye. "Baby, I want to be there when you need me."

"It wasn't necessary for you to be there."

Derek sighed. "Add, you're only 15 weeks in to this pregnancy and you're already shutting me out. I want to be a part of the whole thing. You know that."

Addison nodded. "I do. It's just…it was three in the morning."

"I don't care what time it is. I want to be there for you."

Addison smiled. "Okay." Derek grinned and leaned in to kiss her, getting a low moan from her as he did. "I love you, Derek."

"I love you too, Addie." He said, hugging her to him. "I love you so much."

* * *

As much as Mark wanted to join Ellie in the shower, he instead opted out and was sitting on the bed in the main bedroom, looking at the ring. He wanted to ask her more than anything, but he was afraid she would say no. He was at an impasse, because he was a little afraid that if he didn't ask her, he could lose her, but he was also afraid that if he did ask her he would lose her. And the last thing he wanted to do was lose Ellie. 

"Are you okay, man?" Derek asked, coming in to the room and sitting down next to Mark.

"I don't want to lose her." He whispered, staring at the ring.

"Is that why you're asking her? Because you're afraid of losing her?"

"No. I'm asking her because I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Derek smiled. "Then you won't lose her."

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie lagged behind Mark and the Shepherds and sighed in to the phone. "Jim…"

"I know it's not the offer you got at Seattle Grace, but co-heading the Neurosurgery department means less work, it's the same amount of money; and Mark won't have to start over. It's ridiculously hard to start a plastics practice over, Eliot."

"I know, but…"

"But what? Think about it. You and Jason will be sharing the work load, but you'll be getting the same amount of money you would have gotten had you stayed in Seattle."

Ellie sighed. "I'll think about it."

"Really?"

"Yes, Jim, I'll think about it, okay?"

"Perfect. Give me a call when you decide."

"I will." Ellie hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Moving back to New York wasn't the problem. She loved New York. It was leaving Addison and Derek in Seattle that was the issue.

"Who was that?" Mark asked, slowing down so that she could catch up to him. Derek and Addison were so engrossed in each other that they didn't even notice.

"Jim Mitchell."

Mark made a face. "Uh-oh. What did he want?"

Ellie sighed. "He offered me the co-head of Neurosurgery position. For the same amount of money as in Seattle."

Mark nodded. "Did you tell him no?"

Ellie shook her head. "As much as I like Seattle, and like being around Addie and Derek all the time, if I were to take the job…you wouldn't have to start your practice over."

"Eliot, you don't need to worry about me."

Ellie sighed. "It's a pretty good opportunity." Mark nodded. "I told him I'd think about it." Mark nodded again and took her hand as they headed down the sidewalk. His other hand was playing with the box in his pocket. Maybe, just maybe.

"Who was on the phone?" Addison asked, stopping in front of one of the many food vendors on the street.

"Jim Mitchell." Ellie sighed. "He offered me a job."

"You told him no, didn't you?" Addison asked a look of almost panic on her face.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, Addie, I told him no." Mark dropped the box from his fingers. Maybe not.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Addison leaned against Derek, her feet spread out on the grass in front of her. The fireworks weren't going to start for another two hours, but the four of them were in Central Park anyway, after having spent all day wandering New York, enjoying Parades and all sorts of food.

"This was a really good idea." Derek said. "I'm really glad Ellie was able to pull this off."

"Uh-huh." Addison said, watching Ellie and Mark, who were playing Frisbee with a couple of little kids that belonged to the family that was sitting close to them. "Yeah."

"What, Addie?" Derek leaned around her and looked her in the eye. "What is it?"

"She's lying." Addison said, sighing. "She didn't tell Jim no." Addison shrugged. "She didn't tell him yes either, but…she didn't say no."

"Addie…"

"Why would she lie to me?"

Derek sighed. "Add, can we not…"

"Derek this is important."

He nodded. "Okay…"

"I just want to know why she wouldn't just tell me that she was considering it. I mean really…"

"Addie, the only reason she's probably considering it is because of Mark's practice. It's going to be hard for him in Seattle at first, and she may not want him to have to go through that."

Addison sighed. "But I want her to be in Seattle."

"I know, but this is a decision she has to make herself. Especially if Mark ends up pro…"

"Hey." Ellie said, sitting down on the grass in front of Addison. "Are you guys okay?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah. This was a really fabulous idea, Ellie." Ellie smiled. "The fourth in New York…very nice."

"Good. I'm glad you guys like it."

"Why did you lie to me?" Addison snapped, sitting up. Derek let out a frustrated groan and leaned back, landing in the grass. Ellie stared at her, confused. "You didn't tell Jim no, did you?"

"Addison…" Derek groaned, his face covering his hands.

"No, I want to know. Why did you tell me that you did?"

Ellie sighed. "Because I didn't want to talk about it today. It's the Fourth of July, Addie. You and I love the Fourth of July. And I didn't want to ruin it by discussing the possibility of me coming back to New York."

"You've signed that contract with Richard…"

Ellie shook her head. "I haven't signed it yet."

Derek sat up. "You haven't?"

"No." Ellie stood. "Look, I didn't want to talk about this today. Can we have this discussion tomorrow?" Derek and Addison nodded and Ellie walked away, grabbing Mark at the waist from behind and leading him down the hill towards a hot dog stand. Addison turned around and looked at Derek pointedly.

"What?"

"You said she would only be considering the position because of Mark's practice."

"Yeah…"

"Then why hasn't she signed the contract yet?"

Derek shrugged. "I don't know, Add. I really don't." Addison sighed and leaned back in to him, letting him wrap his arms around her, threading his fingers together across her stomach. Ellie came back and handed a hot dog to both Addison and Derek and then left without a word. She and Mark sat down on the hill.

"What happened?"

"She figured out that I was lying."

"Of course she did. I told you…"

"I know what you told me." Ellie said, sighing and taking a bite of her hot dog. "But I didn't want to talk about it today. Because I might take it…and she won't be very happy with me."

Mark nodded. "You're right. She'll be pretty upset." Mark, on the other hand, was on the ecstatic side.

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

Addison placed one hand on her head and groaned. "Derek…"

"What?" He raced to her side, lifting her chin so that he could look her in the eye. "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel very well. My head hurts, I'm dizzy…"

Derek nodded. "Okay. Can you walk? Mark's place is just across the street." Addison nodded slowly, bracing herself on his shoulders. "Okay. Hold on a sec. Let me tell them we're leaving." Addison nodded again, taking slow breaths. Derek moved away from her slowly and raced back to Mark and Ellie. After whispering to them that they were leaving, and telling them to stay, he led Addison up the hill and to the street. "Did you eat something, or…?"

Addison shook her head. "No. Sometimes this is normal. But I'm dizzier than I was last time, so…"

Derek nodded. "Okay. We'll just get across the street to Marks and you can lay down." Addison smiled at him weakly as the light on the crosswalk blinked WALK. They made their way slowly across the street, and as they reached the sidewalk, Addison stumbled backwards. "Addie…"

"I'm okay." She whispered, gripping his arm. "I'll be okay…" Addison trailed off as she collapsed in Dereks arms. Derek let out a gasp, and the couple next to them turned.

"Is she alright?" The man asked.

"I don't know. I need to get her to a hospital." The man helped Derek lift Addison while his wife grabbed the one empty taxi in the city.

"She okay?" The cab driver asked. Derek and the man placed her in the back seat.

"I don't know." Derek said, sitting so that he could place Addison's head on his lap. "Bellevue Hospital, please." The taxi driver sped away, and Derek waved a thank you at the couple, who was still standing on the sidewalk.

* * *

Mark played with Ellie's ring finger casually as she leaned in to him. The fireworks were about to start, and Mark had a plan. 

"You think Addie's okay?" Ellie asked, looking back towards the street.

"She's probably fine, El. She probably just needed to lay down." Ellie nodded and gripped Mark's arm as the fireworks started. "Look, they're starting." Mark nodded. They watched them for a few minutes before Mark stepped in front of her.

"Eliot." She looked at him, smiling. "I need…" Mark took a deep breath. "I need to ask you something."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

Mark took another deep breath. "We've been through a lot together, right?" Ellie nodded. "Okay, well…" Mark hung his head.

"Mark, what is it?" She asked.

"I need to start this over." She nodded. She wasn't paying enough attention to know that these were the tell-tale signs of a proposal. "I love you. More than anything, and I want to spend forever with you. You know that." Ellie nodded. "Over the last month and a half, being back together with you has made me feel like a teenager again. All I want to do all the time is hold you, because I screwed up so badly the first time, and I lost you. I've hurt you, I know that, in more ways than one, and if I could fix that, I would. My temper…well, there's really no excuse. I never should have hit you, and if I could take it back, believe me, I would." Ellie nodded again. "I want you to be able to trust me, to love me without fear, and I screwed that up for you."

"Mark…"

"Let me finish." He said softly. She nodded. "Eliot Grey, I love you more than anything else in the world. And all I want is for you to be happy." Ellie smiled. "And I have this feeling; this hope, that I make you happy. And I want to make you happy for the rest of your life." It was then that Ellie realized what he was doing. Her heart began to pound rapidly and her stomach was in her throat. He wasn't really going to propose, was he? Mark got down on one knee, causing a few people to turn and look, and Ellie let out a gasp. Mark pulled a box out of his pocket and Ellie closed her eyes. "Eliot." She opened her eyes again, tears in the corners. Mark wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not, but he prayed they were. "Eliot Grey, I want to make you happy forever. You make me the happiest person in the world, and…" Mark took a deep breath. "I want us to be together." He opened the box and she gasped. "Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey, will you marry me?" Ellie swallowed hard and looked down at the box, then back in to his eyes. He was serious. One hand went to her mouth and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. After a minute, she opened them again. Mark was still looking at her, the same loving look in his eyes, though it was obvious that panic was beginning to set in.

"I…" Ellie took a deep breath, and that's when her phone rang. Ellie used to chance to stall and glanced at the caller ID. It was Derek.

* * *

**Okay. That's it. Cliffhangers all around. Sorry this took me so long, hope you liked it, and…**

**SHOULD ELLIE SAY YES OR NO?**


	48. You and Me

"**You and Me"**

_All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words, you've got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here  
Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do  
Nothing to prove, and it's you and me and all other people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you –  
_"_You and Me"  
__By Lifehouse_

**July 5th, 2006**

**3:00 A.M.**

Ellie jolted awake, confused about her surroundings. It wasn't until she saw Addison lying in the hospital bed that she remembered. Derek and Addison leaving, the fireworks, Mark proposing, the phone call, the rush to the hospital…Ellie sat up and sighed. She hadn't even answered Mark.

"_Let me finish." He said softly. She nodded. "Eliot Grey, I love you more than anything else in the world. And all I want is for you to be happy." Ellie smiled. "And I have this feeling; this hope, that I make you happy. And I want to make you happy for the rest of your life." It was then that Ellie realized what he was doing. Her heart began to pound rapidly and her stomach was in her throat. He wasn't really going to propose, was he? Mark got down on one knee, causing a few people to turn and look, and Ellie let out a gasp. Mark pulled a box out of his pocket and Ellie closed her eyes. "Eliot." She opened her eyes again, tears in the corners. Mark wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not, but he prayed they were. "Eliot Grey, I want to make you happy forever. You make me the happiest person in the world, and…" Mark took a deep breath. "I want us to be together." He opened the box and she gasped. "Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey, will you marry me?" Ellie swallowed hard and looked down at the box, then back in to his eyes. He was serious. One hand went to her mouth and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. After a minute, she opened them again. Mark was still looking at her, the same loving look in his eyes, though it was obvious that panic was beginning to set in._

"_I…" Ellie took a deep breath, and that's when her phone rang. Ellie used to chance to stall and glanced at the caller ID. It was Derek. "I need to take this." She whispered. Mark looked pained. "Hello?"_

"_I had to rush her to the hospital. She fainted."_

"_Is she okay?"_

"_I don't know yet. The doctor hasn't come back out yet."_

"_Are you at Bellevue?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_We're on our way." Ellie hung up the phone and reached for Mark, gripping his hand. "Addie's in the hospital. She fainted." Mark nodded, unable to form words and followed Ellie out of the park. They grabbed a taxi at the edge of the park and slid in to the backseat, neither of them saying anything. Ellie was still gripping Mark's hand._

"_Eliot…" She turned to look at him, pain on her face. He didn't say anything else. He knew she was worried about Addison, and that she wasn't ready to answer him yet. He only hoped it would be soon._

Ellie sighed and put her head in her hands. Addison was fine. She fainted because of anemia, which just meant that she had an iron deficiency and would have to get more iron in to her diet. Dr. Harden had been called in Seattle, and recommended bed rest for the rest of Addison's stay in New York. So, now that Addison was fine, Ellie was going to have to make a decision. Yes or no?

"Ellie?" Addison's voice croaked and Ellie turned to face her. "How long have you been here?"

"Since 9:30. How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Honey, you don't need to be here. Go home."

Ellie shook her head. "No. Derek wanted someone to stay with you, but the man was pale as a ghost and falling asleep standing so he went back to M…" Ellie swallowed. "He went home."

"What happened?"

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about? Nothing."

"Eliot…"

"God, Addie, why don't you worry about yourself for once?"

"Because I'm fine. I just need more iron in my diet and I'm in bed for the next four days. Whoop-de-do. What happened to you?"

Ellie shook her head. "Nothing."

"Oh good. You're lying to me again."

"Addison…"

"Eliot. Will you just tell me what's wrong? You can't even say Mark's name."

"What are you _talking_ about?"

"Eliot."

"Alright fine. He…" Ellie took a deep breath. "He proposed."

Addison's eyes widened. "Already?"

Ellie stared. "Already? Wait…you knew he was going to pop the question?"

"Well, he showed Derek and I the ring…but I didn't know when he was going to do it."

"You know whats good Addie?" Addison shrugged. "Warning!"

"I'm not going to warn you that your boyfriend is going to propose. That's ridiculous."

Ellie sighed. "He caught me completely off guard. Completely. I didn't…"

"What did you say?"

Ellie looked down at the floor. "I didn't say anything. The phone rang."

"You answered the phone?"

Ellie groaned. "It was Derek. I thought it might be important. Obviously, it was." Ellie said, gesturing to Addison.

"Have you talked to him since?" Ellie shook her head. "Ellie…"

"I don't know what to do. I love him, I do, but…"

"But what?" Addison asked. Ellie shrugged. "Ellie, talk to me about this. He's going to want an answer sooner or later. Probably sooner."

Ellie glared. "You. Not helping."

Addison laughed softly. "Ellie, if you love him, what's stopping you from saying yes?"

Ellie sighed. "I'm not sure I ever want to get married."

"Why not?" Addison asked, sitting up slowly. Ellie slid the chair closer to Addison's bed and placed her head on Addison's legs. "Marriage is great." Ellie looked up at Addison, her eyebrows raised. "Everyone has problems, Ellie."

Ellie sighed. "I guess…I want to spend the rest of my life with Mark. I love Mark. But I don't need a marriage license to know that I love Mark. I don't need that."

"Have you told him that?" Ellie shook her head. "Maybe you should."

"What if he doesn't want to be with me…?"

Addison sighed. "Ellie, he asked you to marry him."

"But what if he wants to get married and I don't and he has a problem with that?"

"Then honey, he doesn't deserve you." Tears came to Ellie's eyes and Addison ran her fingers through Ellie's hair as Ellie let the tears fall on to Addison's legs. Ellie really didn't know what to do.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Ellie came padding down the steps of Mark's brownstone, rubbing her eyes. She's taken a taxi back at 5:00, when she couldn't sleep anymore. She'd fallen asleep as soon as she hit the pillow in Marks bed, but it had been a rough sleep. Mark was there, but he wasn't holding her, and she tossed and turned the majority of the time she was asleep. Ellie walked in to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of black coffee before padding in to the living room and sitting down next to Mark on the couch.

"Hi." He said, turning to face her.

"I'm sorry." He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything."

"You were worried about Addison."

Ellie nodded. "Mark, I love you. So much. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Mark smiled. "But I don't think I need a marriage certificate to signify my commitment to you."

Mark stared. "What?"

Ellie sighed. "I grew up around horrible marriages, Mark. My Dad and Ellis never got married, and then when Ellis married Thatcher, it just turned out horrible. And then Addison and Derek…"

"Ellie, first, we're not Addison and Derek, second, their marriage is not horrible. Shit happens."

"Thank you, Forrest Gump."

"Eliot." She held up her hands in defense. "You don't want to get married?"

"No."

"But you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah." She grimaced. "That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

Mark sighed. "No."

"I just…"

"I don't understand, Eliot. Wouldn't living together for the rest of our lives be the same thing?"

Ellie sighed. "Mark…"

"Ellie, I don't get it. Why don't you want to marry me?"

"It's not you, Mark. It's the marriage thing. It's not something I ever saw myself doing…it has nothing to do with you. I love you."

"Really?"

Ellie looked pained. "Yes, Mark."

"I don't think you do." He said, standing. "I think I'm convenient for you."

"Convenient?" Ellie snapped, standing. "George just told me barely two weeks ago that he's still in love with me. He lives in Seattle. He never hit me. He isn't a world renowned plastic surgeon, which means he's not cocky as shit. He didn't sleep with my best friend. What the hell makes you think you're convenient? If I wanted convenient I'd be with George."

Mark shook his head. "I don't believe you." Ellie looked taken aback. "I think you're with me because when I wanted you back, you needed a fuck buddy."

Ellie's face paled. "Is that what you've thought all this time?" Mark shrugged. "So much for 'I want you to trust me, to love me without fear', and 'all I want is for you to be happy'." Mark grimaced and turned to walk out the front door. "Don't walk away from me. We're not done."

"No, Eliot. We're done. This conversation is over." Mark stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him, and Ellie marched back up the stairs. She needed to go somewhere. She couldn't stay in the house. Ellie slid out of her sweats that she'd slept in and in to running clothes. She strapped her iPod to her arm, pulled her hair in to a ponytail and tied her running shoes on. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she couldn't stay in the house.

* * *

Mark headed down almost two blocks before hailing a cab. He told the driver to go to Bellevue Hospital. He needed to see Derek and Addison and talk to them. He needed to know if he was overreacting about this. Maybe she just needed space. The cab driver stopped at the light, and out of the corner of his eye, Mark saw Ellie run past the cab. She stopped at the corner, jogging in place, and adjusted the earphones from her iPod. Mark looked her up and down and sighed. The cab headed down the street and he looked back through the window, just watching her. Maybe with Ellie, love was just going to have to be enough.

* * *

Ellie knew he was watching her from the cab. She wasn't dense. She saw him out of the corner of her eye as she ran past. She purposely jogged in place and moved her arms around, stretching her body. The cab pulled past and she saw him turn to look at her. Thank God for sunglasses. Ellie jogged down Park Avenue and headed in to Central Park, turning the volume on her iPod up. Almost immediately, the iPod started playing "You and Me" by Lifehouse, but instead of turning it off, Ellie detoured from her original path and headed for the cemetery between Mark's place and Derek and Addison's old house.

* * *

Mark sat down outside of Addison's hospital room and sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about Ellie, but he just wanted her to get out of his head. How could she not want to marry him? 

"Hey, man." Derek came out of Addison's room and placed one hand on Dereks shoulder. "You alright?"

"She said no." He whispered.

"You asked her? When?"

"Last night. After you guys left. Instead of answering me, she answered the phone. And then today she said that she doesn't want to get married, but she wants to spend the rest of her life with me." Mark sighed. "What's the difference?"

Derek sighed. "The difference is that it's what Ellie wants. And if you want to get married and she doesn't, and you have a problem with that…maybe you don't deserve her."

Mark rolled his eyes. "Thanks."

"Mark, she's been through a lot, with you especially. Maybe she doesn't want to get married. So what? She wants to be with you. Doesn't that mean more than a marriage license?"

"This coming from a married man."

Derek sighed and sat down next to Mark. "Addison and I both wanted to be married. Ellie doesn't want to get married, but she wants to be with you." Derek shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, that should mean something." Mark put his head in his hands and sighed. "Look, go in and talk to Addie. Maybe she can help you." Mark nodded and stood slowly, walking in to the room, praying that Addison could help him figure out what to do.

* * *

Ellie hit her knees in front of the tombstone. _Katelynn Grey Shepherd. December 10, 2003 – June 10, 2004. Beloved Daughter._ Ellie traced the lettering with her fingers and sighed. She missed Kate, but that wasn't why she was sitting in front of her grave. She was sitting there because she knew, if Mark wanted to find her, he would look at the cemetery first. Ellie sighed. Maybe she could come around to the idea of marriage. Maybe later in life, she would want to get married. Right now, all she wanted to do was share her life with him. And if he wasn't up for that without a marriage license, then maybe, just maybe, she could get married. Maybe.

* * *

"You told her what?" 

"I was upset, Addison."

"Ellie would never be with you out of convenience. You're a prick."

Mark's jaw dropped. "Hey. Rudeness unnecessary."

Addison sighed. "Look, Mark, I get that you're upset. I know you want to marry Ellie, but you have to understand…marriage isn't something she wants to do right now."

"I'm almost 40, Addison. I can't wait forever to get married!"

"What if she never wants to get married? Wouldn't you rather be with her, even if you're not married, than not be with her at all?" Mark sighed. "You know that answer."

"Are you sure this is just about her not wanting to get married?" Addison cocked one eyebrow. "This isn't her way of telling me that she doesn't love me?"

Addison laughed. "Mark you know Ellie. If she didn't love you, she would tell you."

Mark nodded, half-smiling. "Alright."

"Do you know where she is?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. I know where she is."

"Okay." Mark stood and smiled at Addison. "Be reasonable with her. Tell her how you feel, but mention that you'd rather be with her than without her."

Mark nodded. "Thanks Add."

She smiled. "I'm here for you Mark." He grinned. "Now go find her." He nodded and left the room, running in to Derek.

"So…?"

Mark smiled. "I have a girl to find."

* * *

Ellie was lying in the cemetery grass, her iPod volume up, the song on repeat, when a shadow fell over her. She took off her sunglasses and looked up, smiling. Mark sat down next to her as she sat up, facing him. "Hi." 

"Hi." He said, sighing. "I freaked out, and I'm sorry."

Ellie nodded. "I'm sorry too."

"I went to see Addison and Derek, and they reminded me that I'd rather be with you, even if we never get married, than without you." Ellie smiled. "I just have a couple of questions."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"This is really about not wanting to be married? This doesn't have anything to do with you not thinking that we should be together forever?"

"Yes, this is really about not wanting to be married. I love you. I love you in a stand-outside-your-bedroom-window-holding-a-juke-box-over-my-head-in-the-rain-I'll-move-to-New-York-if-you-want-me-to-I-want-to-have-your-babies-kind-of-way."

Mark smiled. "Will you wear the ring?"

Ellie smiled. "Of course I will." Mark slid the box out of his pocket and opened it. Ellie grinned as he slid the ring on to her left ring finger. Ellie had set her headphones on the grass, and Mark could hear them playing "You and Me", so he set one in her ear, and put the other in his.

"Dance with me?" He asked, holding his hand out. Ellie stared for a minute and then took his hand. They stood up together and Ellie leaned in to him.

_Cause it's you and me,  
__And all other people with nothing to do,  
__Nothing to prove, and it's you and me,  
__And all other people, and I don't know why,  
__I can't keep my eyes off of you._

"Eliot…" Ellie looked up at him. "I love you in a join-you-outside-my-window-in-the-rain-I-want-live-where-you-want-to-live-I-want-you-to-have-my-babies-kind-of-way." Ellie smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. After a minute, she pulled back from the kiss and leaned in to his chest again, swaying to the music.

_There's something about you now,  
I can't quite figure out,  
Everything she does is beautiful,  
Everything she does is right._

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

Ellie walked down the hall of the hospital, a smile on her face. Derek had come back to Mark's after being at the hospital with Addison all day, and Ellie had offered to spend Addison's last night in the hospital with her. Ellie walked in to Addison's room, and Addison turned at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey kid." Ellie sat down on the bed, grinning. "What?" Ellie held out her left hand and Addison shrieked. "Oh my god!"

"He said to consider it a promise ring." Ellie said, smiling. "It's his promise to me that he'll always be with me."

"So you guys are okay?"

Ellie nodded. "We're more than okay." Addison laughed. "I just…thank you."

Addison made a face. "For what?"

"For telling him whatever it is that you told him. He said he came to see you…he was so upset when he left, and I just…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him."

"You wouldn't have lost him." Addison said, scooting over. Ellie sat down next to her and leaned in to her shoulder. "He just needed someone to remind him how much he loves you." Ellie laughed. "But you're welcome, for what it's worth."

Ellie hugged Addison and then sat up. "I'm going to go get some coffee. I'll be right back." Addison nodded and Ellie left the room. She made her way past the coffee machine, to the elevator, and took it up to the surgical ward. It seemed like most people were in surgeries, and when she reached the office she was looking for, he was the only one in there. "Ahem." Ellie cleared her throat and stood in the doorway.

"Eliot." Jim Mitchell smiled and stood up, making his way to the door. He wrapped her in a hug and then pulled her inside, shutting the door. "So, what brings you here?"

"We were already in New York…"

Jim nodded. "I know. I heard Addison was downstairs. Is she alright?"

"She's fine." Ellie grinned. "She just needs a little more iron in her diet."

"Well okay then. So you're here because…?"

Ellie sighed. "I want you to tell me more about this co-head of Neurosurgery position."

Jim smiled. "Well, Jason is doing a great job, but I think it's a little difficult for him, seeing as he's still technically a resident. I just have this feeling that if the two of you were to share the position, things would run a lot more smoothly." Ellie nodded. "What's Richard offering you?"

"1.6." She said, leaning against the door.

"I'm prepared to offer you 2, Eliot."

"2 million?"

Jim nodded. "Your hands are as good as Derek Shepherds. I'm completely prepared to offer you as much as he's making in Seattle."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. When would I start?"

"When would you start in Seattle?"

"The first of the year."

Jim nodded. "I figured as much. I'd like you to start in October, but if you want to be in Seattle…"

"Addison's due in December." Jim nodded. "I want to be there."

"Okay. The first of the year it is. Although, if you agree to this, we'd probably be calling you in a lot before that."

Ellie nodded. "That's fine. I just feel like I'd need to give Richard time to replace me, plus I'd like to be there for the babies…"

Jim nodded. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "Is this a yes?"

Ellie sighed. "This is a definite maybe. I still need to talk to Mark." Jim nodded. "But it's a more positive maybe than the last one."

Jim nodded. "Okay. Just give me a call." Ellie nodded and left the office, reaching immediately for her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Jim offered me 2 million dollars."

"Jesus, Ellie."

"Where do you want to live, Mark? Seattle or New York?"

"I don't know. Where…?"

"I don't know. You wouldn't have to start your practice over if we stayed here."

"True, but that doesn't matter. What about Addison?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah. I don't know."

"Well…maybe you should talk to her about it."

Ellie cringed. "Seriously?"

"She's your best friend, El. She's going to want to know."

"Okay. Sure."

"Give me a call when you decide. I want what you want, so…"

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you."

"I love you." Ellie hung up the phone and took the elevator down to the floor Addison was on. She grabbed a coffee from the machine and went back in to Addison's room, unsure if she was prepared to talk about this or not.

* * *

**July 6th, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Mark and Derek walked in to Addison's hospital room together, and each man went individually to the woman of their dreams. Derek sat down on the bed next to a sleeping Addison, pulling her in to his arms, and Mark lifted Ellie from the chair, pulling her on to his lap as he sat down. Neither woman stirred. Derek closed his eyes and held Addison to him, and Mark leaned Ellie's head on his shoulder, playing with the ring on her finger. Soon, Ellie was awake and smiling.

"Hi." Mark whispered. Ellie grinned and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Morning."

"Is everything okay?" Ellie nodded. "Did you decide?" Ellie nodded again. "And…?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "As of January 1st, I'll be the Co-Head of Neurosurgery at Bellevue Hospital." Ellie laughed softly. "Once I sign the contract." Mark smiled. "Is that okay?"

"Us, living in New York?" Ellie nodded. "That's perfect." Ellie smiled and leaned in to his shoulder. Mark closed his eyes and soon both of them were as asleep as the Shepherds.

* * *

**Okay. Yes. She chose New York. Don't kill me.**

**Review though. Please? – Mel.**


	49. That Thing You Do

**Half Love**

"**That Thing You Do"**

_You,  
Doin' that thing you do,  
Breaking my heart into a million pieces,  
Like you always do  
And you,  
Don't mean to be cruel,  
You never even knew about the heartache,  
I've been going through  
Well I try and try to forget you girl,  
But it's just so hard to do,  
Every time you do that thing you do –  
_"_That Thing You Do"  
__By The Wonders_

**July 20th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

"You're sure about this?"

Ellie nodded. "Yes."

Richard sighed. "We really could have used you here."

Ellie smiled. "I know. And I like it here, but New York feels more like home." Richard raised his eyebrows. "Okay, yes, I grew up here, but…"

"I was thinking more along the lines of Addison is here in Seattle." Ellie grimaced. "She seems to be taking this quite well."

Mark scoffed. "That's because Ellie hasn't told her."

Ellie glared. "Gee, thanks."

"You haven't told her?" Richard asked.

"No."

"Eliot…"

"I know! But she's going to freak out."

"Rightfully so." Richard said, sighing. "You should tell her soon."

"I know." Ellie said, cringing. "Are we finished?"

Richard nodded and laughed. "Yes." Ellie stood and she and Mark left. Ellie smacked him on the arm as soon as they were out of Richard's office.

"Ow." He snapped, rubbing his arm. "What?"

"You are such a tattle-tale." She snapped. "I can't believe you!"

"Well, you haven't told her. And you need to."

"I know." Ellie sighed. "It's just…"

"It's hard, baby, I know." Mark said, sighing. "She's your best friend, but it's also because she's your best friend that this really isn't going to be as hard as you think it's going to be."  
Ellie nodded. "No, I know that." Ellie sighed. "Would you be okay with dinner tonight? The four of us?"

Mark nodded. "Absolutely. I'll talk to Derek." Ellie smiled. "It's going to be fine. She wants you to be happy, you know."

Ellie nodded. "Yes, oh wise one, I know." Mark made a face and kissed her on the forehead. "Call me later?"

"Of course." Mark headed down the hall, and just as he rounded the corner, Addison came up behind Ellie.

"How's it going?" She asked. Ellie jumped. "Whoops. Sorry."

"It's fine." Ellie turned around and gasped. "Where did you get those?"

Addison grinned and looked down at her feet. "Savvy sent them."

Ellie huffed a sigh. "Those are the newest Jimmy Choo's. Those are the suede and metallic leather…" Ellie crossed her arms over her chest. "They would go perfectly with my Dolce & Gabbana black eyelet skirt…"

"I know." Addison said, smiling. "Which is why…" Addison revealed an identical pair of shoes from behind her back. "Savvy also sent them in your size."

Ellie shrieked. "Oh my God!" Ellie took the shoes from Addison's hands with a grin on her face. "These are amazing." Addison nodded. "Thanks Addie. How much…?"

Addison shook her head. "They're on me."

"No." Ellie's stomach dropped. "No, Addie."

"Ellie let me buy you shoes. They're not that expensive…"

Ellie shook her head. "Absolutely not." Addison sighed. "No way."

"Fine. I'll find out how much they cost."

Ellie sighed. "Thank you." Ellie hung the shoes from her pointer and fore finger and smiled. "So. I was thinking that the four of us should do dinner tonight. You up to it?"

Addison shrugged. "Sure."

"Addie…" Ellie sighed. "Please don't be upset about the shoe thing. It's not…"

"It's okay." Addison said. "Dinner sounds good. Where at?"

Ellie laughed. "Uh…Mark and I didn't get that far."

Addison laughed. "Okay. Why don't the four of us just meet at our house at…eight?"

Ellie nodded. "Eight works."

Addison smiled. "Okay. We'll see you at eight." Addison headed down the hall, her heels clicking on the floor. Ellie felt horrible. Without Addison knowing about the move to New York, Ellie couldn't take anything from her. It didn't seem fair, or right. Ellie headed down the hall, wanting to slip the shoes on, but she decided to save them for that evening. After all, she might have to give them back.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Ellie paced the on-call room, taking deep slow breaths. Now that she knew she was going to tell Addison, it was getting harder and harder to hide it.

"Dr. Grey?" George knocked on the on-call room and stuck his head inside. "Your surgery has been scheduled for 1:00."

Ellie nodded. "You don't have to call me Dr. Grey, George. I'm still Ellie."

George stepped in to the room and shut the door. "What's wrong?"

Ellie shrugged. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. You're hiding out." Ellie grimaced. "What is it?"

Ellie sighed. "I didn't sign the contract to be Seattle Grace's new Head of Neurosurgery."

"You didn't?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I signed one that makes me Bellevue's new Co-Head of Neurosurgery."

George froze. "Wait, so…"

"So I'm moving to New York. Well, Mark and I are moving back." George nodded. "And Addison doesn't know yet."

"Oh." George sighed. "Ellie…"

"I know. I have to tell her. I get that. And we're going to dinner tonight, it's just…" Ellie sighed. "It's so hard to tell someone something that you know they won't want to hear."

George nodded. "I know."

Ellie looked at him. "Look, George, I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. I shouldn't have…"

"Ellie. You didn't treat me in a bad way. I fell for you, and that's all. And I thought you fell for me, but sometimes what is in one's head, and what is in one's heart are completely different things. I get that." George took a deep breath. "I want you to be happy, Ellie."

Ellie smiled. "I want you to be happy too, George."

George sat down on the bed. "How's AA going?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "Fine. Richard has stopped going with me. Now Mark's going."

George raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. But I told him that I need to start going by myself." George nodded. "Especially once we get back to New York."

"Which is when?" George wrinkled his nose. "And why especially once we get to New York?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like New York is us really starting over again, so I should probably go back to AA meetings alone." Ellie took a deep breath. "We're going to leave between Christmas and New Years. My contract starts the first of the year, so…"

George nodded. "So you'll be here for the baby."

Ellie wanted to correct him, but instead just nodded. "Yeah."

"Well that's good. She'll want you here for that."

Ellie scoffed. "I certainly hope so."

"You're her best friend. She's going to want you there."

Ellie sighed. "You're right." Ellie took a deep breath. "I should go. Thanks for…"

George nodded. "Anytime. I'm still your friend." Ellie smiled and left the on-call room, running directly in to Addison.

"Hey." Addison smiled. "Everything okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I was just talking to George." George came out of the room and headed down the hall in the opposite direction.

"But everything's okay?"

Ellie smiled. "Uh-huh."

Addison nodded. "Okay. We're still on for tonight?"

"Yeah." Ellie grinned. "Absolutely."

"Great. I'll see you later." Addison walked away and rounded the corner, finding Derek standing at the counter. "Hey."

Derek smiled. "Well, hello." He kissed her softly, pulling her in to a hug. "How are you?"

"Good." Addison said, smiling.

"And the kids?"

Addison laughed. "They're fine. What time do you get off tonight?"

Derek looked up, as if searching for the answer. "Uh…seven, I think."

"You think?" Addison asked, running her fingers over his chest.

"No. I know." He said, smiling. "Why?"

"We're having dinner with Ellie and Mark. They're coming over at eight."

"I have to cook?" Derek asked, wrinkling his nose.

Addison laughed. "No. They're just meeting us at our place. Because they didn't know where they wanted to go."

Derek nodded. "Oh. Okay."

"I…" Addison looked down. "I think something is going on with Ellie."

"What are you talking about?"

Addison shrugged. "I don't know. I just think that something weird is going on."

"Did she say something, or…?"

Addison shook her head. "No. I just have this feeling…"

"Addie, don't worry." Derek smiled. "It's just dinner. There's more than likely nothing to worry about. Just focus on something else."

Addison frowned. "Like what?"

"Like growing those children of mine." Addison smiled and Derek placed a kiss on her forehead before heading down the hall to a patient. Addison couldn't help but wonder if there was something Ellie was hiding.

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

"I'm going to throw up."

"You're not going to throw up." Mark said, gripping her hand. "You'll be fine."

"She's going to kill me. She's going to hate me."

"She's not…" Mark gripped Ellie by the shoulders. "She's your best friend. She loves you. She wants you to be happy."

"She wants me to be happy here, in Seattle." Ellie sighed. "I can't do this…"

"Yes, you can." Mark said, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "Now come on." Mark threaded their fingers together and led her up the steps to Addison and Derek's front door. Mark knocked, squeezing Ellie's hand, and smiled when Derek came to the door.

"Hello." Derek said, pulling the door open. "How's it going?"

"Good." Mark said. He nudged Ellie and she squeaked.

"Fine." She managed, her voice cracking.

"Uh. Okay. We were thinking The Melting Pot. Does that sound okay?" Ellie and Mark both nodded and Derek grinned. "Great. Make yourselves at home. I'll get Addison." Derek headed up the stairs and Mark dropped Ellie's hand.

"They're going to know something is wrong if you don't cut it out."

"I'm sorry." She snapped. "I just…" Mark cut her off by connecting their lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist and parted her lips with his tongue. "Wh…what…?" Ellie breathed once he finally pulled back.

"Think about that. It'll keep your mind off other things."

Ellie sighed. "Uh. Yeah it will." Ellie stood close to him, sliding one hand in his back pocket. "You've just ruined my concentration for all of dinner."

Mark grinned slyly. "Well, I do what I can." Derek and Addison came down the steps together, and Ellie smiled.

"Hey Add."

"Hi." Addison smiled. "You ready?" Ellie and Mark nodded and the foursome left. Marks tactic had worked temporarily, but it wasn't going to last long.

* * *

**9:00 P.M.**

Ellie's feet were tapping under the table. She had to tell them. She had to. She didn't want to, but she had to.

"I need to tell you guys something." Ellie said, breaking the silence at the table. "I…" Mark squeezed her hand.

"What is it, El?" Addison asked.

Ellie took a deep breath. "I had a meeting with Richard this morning. We were discussing my Head of Neurosurgery contract." Addison nodded and Ellie took a deep breath. "I didn't sign it."

Addison looked shocked. "What? Why not?"

"I thought you wanted to be Head of Neurosurgery." Derek said, confused.

"I do." Ellie sighed. "Just not in Seattle." Ellie took another deep breath, unable to make eye contact with Addison. "Jim Mitchell offered me more money for a Co-Head position, which means less work. Plus Mark wont have to restart his practice, which he says he doesn't care about, but I care about." Ellie sighed. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"So you lied to me." Ellie looked up at Addison, her eyes wide. "On the fourth, you told me that you'd told him no. You didn't."

Ellie shook her head. "No, I didn't. I told him maybe." Ellie sighed. "Addie I'm sorry."

Addison shook her head. "No you're not. You've been trying to get back to New York since you got here."

"I have not. I've told Jim no a dozen times. But I decided that New York would be better for me. With the exception of the two of you not being there, it feels like home." Addison stared. "Addie…"

"How could you?" Addison whispered.

"Add…"

"You could have at least warned me before you signed the contract."

Ellie sighed and shook her head. "Addison…"

"No. You know what? Enjoy New York." Addison stood. "It's a great city." Addison left and Derek waited until she was out of earshot.

"She's upset, but she'll be okay. Congratulations." Derek smiled and then left as well, dropping cash on the table.

"So…" Mark wasn't sure what to say, but when Ellie turned to him, tears in her eyes, he knew that staying at the restaurant wasn't an option. He paid the rest of the bill and they left, making it out front just as Addison and Derek drove away.

"I told you she would hate me." Ellie whispered, tears streaming down her face. "She's never going to talk to me…"

"Ellie, you're overreacting. She's upset. She'll get over it." Ellie shook her head and Mark helped her in to the car. When he got around to the other side, she was on the phone, tears still streaming down her face. "Ellie, who are you calling?"

Ellie shook her head. "I'm not calling anyone. I had a voicemail."

Mark nodded. "Okay."

Ellie leaned against the seat as they drove away from the restaurant.

"_Hi, Eliot, it's Jim Mitchell. I just talked to Richard, and I need you out here for a week or so. We'll have you sign the contract, and then there are two surgeries scheduled that we're going to need your hands for. Richard said it was fine, so give me a call back, will you? Thanks."_

Ellie sighed. "Jim wants me out in New York for a week."

Mark nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to come with you?"

Ellie shook her head. "You have that surgery scheduled next week."

Mark nodded. "Okay. When are you flying out?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know." Ellie dialed Jim's office number, hoping she wouldn't have to leave a message.

"Hello?"

"Jim, it's Eliot."

"Hi. Can you fly out tonight?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah. That's fine."

"There's an eleven o'clock flight from SeaTac. Jason will pick you up from LaGuardia tomorrow."

"Okay. See you then." Ellie hung up the phone and sighed. "Eleven o'clock flight from SeaTac."

Mark nodded. "Okay. We'll get your stuff from the trailer and then I'll take you." Ellie nodded and leaned her head back, and they rode the rest of the way to the trailer in silence.

* * *

Addison stormed in to the house, a grim look on her face. 

"Addie…" Derek followed closely, hoping to calm her down. "Honey…"

"How could she?" Addison asked, whipping around. "I can't believe she…"

"Addison, this is a great opportunity for her. And you heard her, New York is home with the exception of us being here in Seattle. She doesn't want to bail on us, but…"

"Then why is she?" Addison demanded, tears in her eyes.

"Addie, she's not bailing…"

"Yes she is." Addison said softly, the tears falling.

"Is that what you think?" Addison nodded. "Oh Addie…"

"I don't want to lose her, Derek. She's my best friend."

"I know, baby." Derek pulled Addison in to a hug and they sat down on the couch. "I know."

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

Mark hugged Ellie and kissed the top of her forehead. "I wish I could come with you."

Ellie smiled. "Me too. But I'll be fine." She took a deep breath. "Will you…will you let me know how Addison is?"

Mark nodded. "Of course I will." Ellie wrapped her arms around Marks waist and then headed for security. "Ellie…" She turned around and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled and headed through the security check. Just as she made it through, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

Ellie smiled. "Derek, hi."

"Hey. Look, I wanted to really congratulate you. Being Head of Neuro…"

"Co-Head. Jason and I are sharing the position."

"Really?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. He thinks it would be easier for Jason and I because we're still technically residents."

"Oh. Well that's good. It's less work, but it'll still be a great job."

Ellie sighed. "Yeah."

"She's not mad."

"Is she okay?" Ellie asked, sitting down in her terminal.

"She's going to miss you, Eliot."

"I know. I'm going to miss her too." Ellie sighed. "I don't start until the first. Like, Mark and I are aren't moving to New York until the end of December. We'll be here for the twins, and for Christmas." Ellie sighed. "I just…I need her to understand. Moving to New York isn't about leaving her behind. I don't think she gets that."

"Give her some time. It's a little surprising."

"I know."

"Where are you?"

Ellie sighed. "SeaTac. I have to fly to New York for the week, to sign my contract with them, and there are a couple of surgeries they need me to assist on."

"Oh." Derek sighed. "Okay. Well…I'll have her give you a call, okay?"

"Thanks Derek."

"Yeah. Hey El…?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, kid. You know that, right?"

Ellie laughed. "Yeah, Derek. I love you too." Ellie hung up the phone and sighed. She certainly was going to miss them.

* * *

As Mark pulled out of the airport parking lot, he couldn't help but feel like Ellie was doing it again. She was regretting her decision because Addison didn't like it, and he didn't want her to do that. He wanted Ellie to want to be in New York, to want to be with him. And he was going to make sure that she wanted it.

* * *

**Okay. Again, I know it ended a little weird again, but that's all I've got for right now. Review please! – Mel.**


	50. City of Blinding Lights

**Half Love**

"**City of Blinding Lights"**

_The more you see the less you know  
__The less you find out as you go  
__I knew much more then, than I do now  
__Neon heart, day-glow eyes  
__The city lit by fireflies  
__They're advertising in the skies  
__And people like us  
__And I miss you when you're not around  
__I'm getting ready to leave the ground. –  
_"_City of Blinding Lights"  
__By U2._

**July 26th, 2006**

**5:00 A.M.**

**(8:00 A.M. in New York)**

Ellie slammed her head down on the desk. What a week. Jim had failed to mention that Jason was actually on vacation, so Ellie was going to be the Head of Neurosurgery until Jason got back on the 27th. She'd been running crazy all week. Now all she wanted to do was talk to Addison, but she hadn't heard from her all week, and wasn't sure if Addison even wanted to talk to her. Ellie had closed her eyes when her pager went off. She groaned, but then thanked God when all it said was Line One.

"Hello?"

"Ellie…"

Ellie let out a sigh of relief. "Addie. Oh thank God."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm so tired." Ellie groaned. "Jim didn't tell me before I got out here that Jason was going to be on vacation. So I'm here by myself. I don't think I'd be able to handle this position myself."

Addison laughed. "I bet you could if you were prepared. But Jim probably didn't tell you because he knew you'd tell him no."

Ellie sighed. "I guess you're right." Ellie took a deep breath. "Look, Addison, I…"

"It's okay. I overreacted. I wish you had just told me, but I…well, I sort of understand."

"I really am sorry I didn't tell you." Ellie sighed, leaning against her hand. "I just…I don't want you to think that this is about leaving you behind, because it's not."

"I know. Derek told me what you said. I want you here in Seattle, but I know you'll be happy in New York."

Ellie froze. "Wait. This isn't you talking, its Mark talking."

"No, Ellie…"

"What did he say?"

"El…"

"What did he tell you to say?"

Addison sighed. "He didn't tell me to say anything. He, Derek and I talked about it, and I…well…look, Ellie, you're my best friend, and I love you, and I want you to be happy. And since New York makes you happy…"

"I wish I could hug you right now."

Addison laughed. "Me too. So…when are you guys moving back?"

Ellie sighed. "Well, actually, Mark is coming back at the beginning of September. He can't leave his practice alone for that long. But I'm not moving back until after Christmas."

"So you're going to spend 4 months without Mark?"

Ellie groaned. "Yes." She put her head on the desk. "I don't know how I'm going to do it."

"You'll be fine." Addison said. "I have to go. But I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and heaved a deep sigh. She felt a little better now that Addison was on board, but the move was still going to be difficult. She was leaving her two best friends on the other side of the country. Almost immediately her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hi beautiful."

"Mark…" She breathed. "Hi."

"How's it going?"

"I'm so tired."

Mark laughed softly. "I'll bet."

"That's not funny. Why is that funny?"

"I'm sorry, you're right. That's not funny."

"You are such a brat."

Mark laughed. "Well, I try, you know?" Ellie laughed. "Have you talked to Addison?"

Ellie sighed. "Yeah. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Mark…"

"Alright, so I talked to her. But, I want you to be sure about this. I want what you want, and if you don't want New York…"

"I want New York, Mark."

"Good." His voice echoed, which Ellie thought was a little odd, so she turned around. "Surprise."

"Oh my God!" Ellie dropped her cell phone on the desk and raced in to his arms, jumping in to a hug. He held her tight, shutting the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't last any longer without you." He said. "So I flew out after the surgery last night."

"What are we going to do?" Ellie asked, sliding out of his grip and leaning against the door.

"What are you talking about?"

"When you move back. I'm still contracted to be in Seattle. I have to stay. And you need to be here. For 4 months. We can barely last 6 days."

"I'm going to have a more flexible schedule than you; I'll just have to fly out." Ellie nodded and leaned up to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Mark lifted her in to his arms, pressing her against the door. He had worked his hands up underneath her scrub top and was massaging her tongue with his when her beeper went off.

"No…" She groaned, wriggling out of his arms. "Hold that thought." Ellie picked her beeper up off the desk. "Shit. It's a 911. I have to go." Ellie kissed him briefly and raced out the door and down the hall. Mark sat down in the couch on the other side of the room and sighed. He'd just wanted to hold her.

* * *

**7:00 A.M.**

**(10:00 A.M. in New York)**

Ellie stepped in to her office and smiled. Mark was sitting on the couch, asleep, his head tilted back, mouth slightly open. Ellie shut and locked the door to her office and moved slowly over to the couch. She sat down on his legs, straddling him, and touched her mouth to his. One hand massaged him through his jeans, and Ellie could feel him harden in her hand. Mark woke slowly, moaning in to her mouth as her tongue touched his.

"I love when you wake me up." He said, sighing. Ellie grinned and kissed him again, this time unzipping his jeans and slipping her hand inside his boxers. "Oh god…" He whispered. "Is the door locked?"

"Mmmhmmm…" Ellie said, running her fingers up and down his shaft.

"Baby, don't do that." Ellie cocked one eyebrow and Mark grinned, flipping her on to her back on the couch. He slid his hands around her waist, untying the draw string on her scrubs and sliding them down her legs. He planted kisses on her legs, working his way up to her most sensitive spot. Ellie slid his jeans and boxers off with her legs and he used two fingers to move the crotch of her panties to the side before thrusting in to her. Ellie moaned in to his lips as they began to rock together, moving in a hasty motion, as if they hadn't touched each other in months. Ellie's orgasm came full-tilt, and Mark came with her, moaning her name in to her chest as she buried her head in his neck. Mark collapsed on top of Ellie, still inside her, taking deep breaths.

"Whoa." Ellie breathed. Mark nodded in agreement, pulling out of her and pulling his boxers and jeans back up to his hips. Ellie wriggled back in to her scrubs and leaned back in to the couch.

"Are you alright?" Mark asked, lacing their fingers together.

"I don't know that I'm going to be able to last four months without you." Ellie said, sighing.

"We'll be okay, El." Mark said, squeezing her hand. "It's just that neither of us will get very much sleep."

"Mark, we're surgeons. That's not an okay thing."

"What are you saying?" He asked, a little worried. "What can we do?"

Ellie sighed. "Maybe I should see if Richard will let me end my contract early." Mark stared. "Maybe I should just move here when you do."

* * *

Back in Seattle, Addison was just arriving home from a long night at the hospital. As she pulled in to driveway, Derek came out on to the front porch, a grin on his face. 

"Hi." Addison said, stepping out of the car.

"How did the surgery go?"

Addison sighed, making her way up the steps. "Fine." Addison leaned in to Derek, letting him wrap his arms around her. "It's a good thing I have today off. Because I'm tired."

"Addie, when you get tired, you need to lie down. You're pregnant, baby…"

"I know." Addison said, sighing in to his chest. "Can we go inside?" Derek nodded and took her bag from her before leading her in to the house. Addison shrugged her coat off and hung it on the coat rack before making the trek up the stairs to their bedroom. Derek was close behind, having left her bag downstairs and grabbed a cup of hot tea from the kitchen.

Derek sat down on the edge of the bed as Addison placed her head on the pillow. "You want tea?"

"No thanks." Addison said, curling up in the fetal position. "I'm okay."

"You're not okay." Derek said. He set the tea down on the bedside table and kneeled down in front of her. "Baby…"

"I'm not okay with this."

"With what?"

"With Ellie moving."

Derek sighed. "Oh, Addie…"

"And I lied. I told her I was. I told her that she's my best friend, and I love her and I want her to be happy, and since New York makes her happy…and it was all a lie." Derek raised an eyebrow. "Okay, so it wasn't all a lie. I do love her, she is my best friend, and I do want her to be happy, but not in New York." Addison finally looked at him, the tears breaking on her face. "I don't want her to go."

"I know, honey." Derek sat down on the bed, pulling Addison in to a sitting position. "Why didn't you tell her that?"

"Because I do want her to be happy, and I know that Mark and New York make her happy, but…" Addison began to cry softly. "I can't lose her again."

"Addie…"

"She's my best friend. She's all I've got if I lose you, and I can't lose her."

Derek wiped the tears from her face. "First of all, you're never going to lose me, and second, her moving does not mean that you're losing her."

Addison nodded, the tears still streaming down her face. "Yes it does."

"Addison…"

"It does. Because she's going to be busy. And one day, she'll decide that she actually wants to marry Mark, and I won't be there. And they'll have kids, and I won't be able to deliver them." Addison took a deep shaky breath. "And they're going to move in to a bigger place, and we won't be able to help them move, and…and…"

"Addie, slow down. You're going to make yourself sick." Derek rubbed small circles on her back, hugging her to him. "Addie, if she decides to actually marry Mark, you'll be the first to know. And you'll be her Maid of Honor, you know that. As for the kids, I don't know, Addie. And we'll help them move." Derek sighed. "Addie, you'll be there. You'll be there for whatever she needs you for." Addison took a shaky breath, sobbing in to Derek's chest. "Take a deep breath, baby. Calm down." Addison mumbled something inaudible in to his chest. "What? Addie, what do you need?"

Addison looked up at him, her face stained with tears. "I need Ellie."

Derek's heart broke.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

**(2:00 P.M. in New York)**

Ellie came running down the hall, throwing her hair in to a ponytail. Her tennis shoes squeaked on the floor as she screeched to a halt in front of the nurses' station.

"Someone said…urgent…Seattle?" Ellie asked, taking deep breaths. She'd been on the other end of the surgical ward, briefing a patient, and when one of the interns whispered to her that the nurses had urgent something from Seattle, Ellie went bolting from the room.

"It's just a call, Dr. Grey."

"Why didn't you page me?"

"I was told to wait. You were with a patient."

Ellie sighed. "What line?"

"Three."

Ellie picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi."

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

Derek sighed. "No, everything is not okay. She's having panic attacks. She can't be having panic attacks, Ellie, she's 18 weeks pregnant."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, you can either get your ass back here, or you can call her and tell her that you've changed your mind and you're not moving to New York."

Ellie sighed. "But Derek, I am moving to New York."

"Then get back here."

"I can't."

Derek sighed. "You know, I tried to convince her that you wouldn't be too busy for her, but maybe I was wrong."

"Hey! That's not fair."

"She jumped when you were all the way in New York and you needed her. And now she needs you and you're not going to move…" Derek scoffed. "Some best friend."

"You're being unfair."

"I am not." Derek snapped. "She's your best friend, Ellie."

"I know that." Ellie stretched the cord and ducked in to the supply closet right next to the nurses' station. "This is hard for me too, Derek."

"You don't have any idea what this is like for her."

"She left me here in New York."

Derek sighed. "Ellie, this is different. You have a choice."

"So did she."

"Is that what this is about? You're still upset that she chased after me, so you're going to leave her like she left you?"

"No!" Ellie kicked the wall. "Why am I the bad guy here? Why is it so wrong that I want to be in New York?"

"It's not wrong." Derek said, sighing. "What's wrong is the way you handled it. You didn't even mention it to her until the decision was made."

"I shouldn't have to talk to her about everything. This is a decision Mark and I made together. Addison doesn't have any say."

"You're best friend doesn't get to voice her opinion?"

"Not on something like this."

"Why not?"

"Because!" Ellie slammed against the wall. "Addie is not moving in with Mark and I. What difference does it make?"

"Who are you?" Derek snapped. "Two years ago Addison's opinion would have meant everything to you. No matter what."

"So I've changed? So what?"

"Quite honestly, I don't like it. And I don't think Addison does either." Derek sighed. "See you, El."

"Derek…" Ellie slammed her fist in to the wall as he hung up the phone. She leaned against the door for a few minutes before taking the phone back in to the hallway and hanging it up. She made her way down the hall, and hadn't even made it to the corner when she burst in to tears. Derek was right. The change she had made wasn't good. Ellie slid down the wall and took a deep breath, trying to control the tears. She was taking slow breaths when she felt a hand on her leg. Ellie looked up and saw Jim Mitchell crouching down in front of her, Mark standing behind him.

"Are you alright?" Jim asked, worry on his face. Ellie shook her head. "What happened?"

Ellie shook her head again. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Are you sure?" Ellie nodded. Jim sighed. "Let me guess. You need to go to Seattle?"

Ellie took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

* * *

**9:30 P.M.**

Derek was pacing the kitchen, trying to calm himself down. Addison had sobbed herself to sleep, and now Derek couldn't sleep. He was so angry with Ellie. What didn't she understand…? Derek's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. He made the trek to the door slowly, sighing as he opened the door. And then his jaw dropped. "What…?"

Ellie sighed. "You said she needed me." She gave him a small smile. "What kind of best friend would I be if I wasn't here when she needed me?"

Derek stepped aside, opening the door wider. "She's upstairs." Ellie came in to the house and raced up the steps, and Mark stepped in behind her. "Was this you?"

Mark shook his head. "No, it was all her." Derek shut the door, leaning against it. "Whatever you said really got to her, Derek."

"Is she still moving to New York?"

Mark shrugged. "I don't know. Before we left Bellevue, she asked Jim to wait to file her contract. That generally means she's still deciding."

Derek nodded. "Look, Mark, I didn't mean to rain on your parade, but…"

Mark shook his head. "It's okay, Derek. Sometimes Daddy's gotta do what Daddy's gotta do."

* * *

Ellie felt the tears well up in her eyes as she crouched down next to the bed. Addisons face was tear stained, and she was curled in the fetal position, her hands protecting her pregnant belly. Ellie almost didn't want to wake her up. 

"Addie…" Ellie placed one hand on her best friend's hands. "Add…" Addison's eyes fluttered open. "Hi…"

"Ellie…" Addison's voice came out almost as a croak. Ellie wrapped her arms around Addison, pulling her in to a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't let you know about New York before I made the decision, and I'm sorry I didn't value your opinion about it. And I'm sorry I wasn't here." Ellie smiled softly. "I heard you needed me." Addison rubbed her eyes. "What kind of best friend would I be if I wasn't here when you needed me?" Addison cracked a soft smile and Ellie climbed on to the bed, placing herself on the other side of Addison.

"I don't want you to go." Addison said softly, laying her head on Ellie's lap. "I want you to stay here." Ellie nodded, running her fingers through Addison's hair. Addison fell quickly in to a deep sleep, the comfort of her best friend making it easier.

Ellie didn't sleep.

* * *

**Alrighty tighty. Let me know what you think!**

**Review please! – Mel.**


	51. Chocolate

**Half Love**

"**Chocolate"**

_This could be the very minute  
I'm aware I'm alive  
All these places feel like home  
With a name I'd never chosen  
I can make my first steps  
As a child of 25  
This is the straw, final straw in the  
Roof of my mouth as I lie to you  
Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean  
I didn't enjoy it at the time –  
_"_Chocolate"  
__By Snow Patrol_

**July 27th, 2006**

**9:00 A.M.**

Ellie shifted, her back cracking softly. She really hadn't slept. She'd sat there while Addison fell asleep, her head in Ellie's lap, and then when Addison moved, Ellie moved. But Ellie never slept. She just stared, watching the wall, then the clock, then the Seattle summer rain outside the window. Mark came in once, but she shook her head and he left. She couldn't talk to him while Addison was sleeping next to her. It didn't work. Addison would wake up.

"Ellie…?" Ellie jumped, startled. She didn't think Addison was awake. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Ellie slid down so that she was lying on the bed, facing Addison. "Are you?"

Addison sighed. "You didn't have to come, you know."

Ellie nodded. "Yes I did. You're my best friend. And you needed me. It's as simple as that." Ellie sighed. "That's not going to change, Addie." Addison stared. "I might be a long flight away, but that's all. A phone call, a text message, or a flight. I'll be here for you. You know that."

"It's not the same."

Ellie nodded. "I know. But Addie…I can't be here. I need to be in New York."

"Why?"

Ellie sighed. "Because I love Mark. And as much as he'll deny it, he loves New York too much to leave. And I feel like I owe him one. I told him I never want to get married, but yet he still wants to be with me. I feel like I should be where he wants to be."

"Ellie, this is about you, not Mark."

"It's also not about you." Ellie closed her eyes and sat up. "Sorry. I'm sorry…I just…I need you to understand."

"Why? You're going to do it anyway."

Ellie sighed. "Not necessarily."

"You mean what I want has say in this?" Ellie shrugged. "I want you to stay." Ellie cringed. "What?"

"You aren't supposed to say that." Ellie sighed. "You're supposed to say that you want me to be happy."

"I do want you to be happy. I also want you here."

"Addie…I'm just a phone call away. Where I live doesn't make any difference. I'm still your best friend."

Addison sighed. "I know."

"Addison, what can I do? What can I do to convince you that this is right for me?" Addison shrugged. "Look, I don't need your approval. I want it."

"I don't know what to tell you. I want you here in Seattle, but if being in New York makes you happy…" Addison sighed as the door opened.

"Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt. But I wanted to know if I could borrow Eliot for a minute." Mark grinned. "Just for a sec." Addison nodded and Ellie lifted herself off the bed, her back popping. "You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Mark asked once they were in the hall.

Ellie shook her head, shutting the door. "No."

Mark sighed. "Eliot…" He wrapped her in a hug and almost immediately she started to cry. "Hey, hey…what is it?"

"She wants me to stay here. She said that she wants me to be happy, but she wants me here."

"Would being here make you happy?" Mark asked, burying his nose in her hair.

"No. Mark, I want to live in New York. I owe you that much."

"Owe?" Mark stepped back, looking her in the eye. "Eliot, you don't owe me anything."

Ellie nodded. "Yes I do. You want to marry me, and I never want to get married…I can at least live where you want to live."

"If you don't want to live in New York, then neither do I."

Ellie shook her head. "I want to live in New York. I don't want to leave Addison behind, but I want to live in New York." Ellie smiled. "I really do."

Mark smiled. "Okay." Mark hugged her to him and she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. "Do you need anything?"

"Coffee." She said, looking up at him. "Will you bring me coffee?" Mark nodded and kissed her softly before heading down the stairs. Ellie took a deep breath and went back in to Addison and Derek's bedroom.

"He really loves you." Addison said as Ellie shut the door. Ellie smiled. "You can see it when he looks at you." Ellie blushed and sat down next to Addison on the bed. Addison sighed. "Promise me one thing." Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "You'll call me everyday?"

Ellie smiled. "Of course."

Addison took a deep breath. "Okay. Then as much as I'm going to hate this…go." Ellie stared. "Move to New York."

Ellie continued staring for a minute and then shrieked. "Really?" Addison nodded and Ellie wrapped her in a hug. Addison fought back tears, but when Ellie pulled back from the hug, she was crying. "I'm going to miss you, Addie."

Addison choked on a sob and put her head in her hands. "I'm going to miss you too. What am I going to do when Derek's being stupid?"

Ellie laughed. "You're going to call me, because I am still your best friend. And if he's being really stupid, I will fly out here and kick his ass." Addison laughed through her tears, grinning. "The only thing that's going to change is my location. I'm still you, just 8 years younger and way hotter."

Addisons jaw dropped. "How rude." Ellie grinned, laughing. "Whatever. Pregnant women glow. Therefore, by default, I'm hotter."

"I beg to differ." Mark said, entering the room with Ellie's cup of coffee and a cup of tea for Addison.

"I should hope so." Ellie said, smirking and taking the coffee from him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said, handing the cup of tea to Addison, who smiled. "Your husband sent that."

Addison smiled. "I figured as much. Thank you, Mark."

He nodded. "Sure." Mark kissed the top of Ellie's head and tossed her a smile before leaving the room.

"Hold on." Ellie said, setting the coffee cup down on the bedside table. Addison nodded, taking a sip of her tea, and Ellie raced out of the room. "Hey!"

Mark turned around, a confused look on his face. "What?"

Ellie raced down the hall and jumped in to his arms, engulfing his lips in a kiss. "New York here we come." She whispered, planting soft kisses on his lips between words.

"Really?" Ellie nodded and Mark grinned, spinning her around in a hug. "She's okay with it?"

Ellie shrugged. "Not really, but I promised her a phone call everyday and a flight out here to kick Dereks ass for her every once in a while." Mark laughed. "She'll be okay…we'll be okay." Ellie said, smiling. "I just wanted to tell you." Mark grinned and kissed her again before letting her slide to the floor and head back in to talk to Addison.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Meredith was sitting on the counter in Finn's place when her phone rang. She leapt off the counter, setting her coffee cup in the sink and dug through her purse, finding the phone just as Finn walked out of the bathroom, clad only in a towel. Meredith grinned and planted a kiss on his lips before answering her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mere."

"Ellie!" Meredith smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I need to talk to you about something. Are you busy?"

Meredith shook her head. "I'm at Finn's, but I can meet you somewhere for lunch. I have the day off."

"Okay. Uh…there's this really great place called the Brooklyn Grinder. You want to meet there? In…"

"Give me an hour, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Tell Finn I said hi, and I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye, El."

"Bye." Meredith hung up the phone and smiled. "Hello."

"Hey." Finn leaned against the counter and grinned. "Is everything alright?"

Meredith nodded. "Oh yeah. Ellie just wants to meet for lunch. She says hi, by the way."

"Well, tell her I said hi." Finn said, softly kissing Meredith on the lips. "You should probably take a shower."

"Was that a hint?" Meredith asked, feigning hurt. "Are you saying I smell?"

Finn shrugged. "What if I was?" Meredith smacked his bare chest and made a face. "I wasn't. I was just saying…Ellie wants to meet with you in an hour?" Meredith nodded. "Then continuing to wear my clothes is going to do you no good. Shower." Meredith smirked and headed in to the bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

Meredith sat down at a table for two and sighed. She hadn't had a lot of time to spend with Ellie recently, and was really looking forward to having lunch with her.

"Meredith." Ellie grinned, pulling her sister in to a hug. "How are you?"

"Good." Meredith said, smiling and sitting back down.

"How's Finn?"

Meredith smiled wider. "He's doing really well. He says Hi back." Ellie laughed. "So how's it going? I thought you weren't coming back until later tonight."

"I got back last night?"

"Really?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Look…there's something I need to tell you."

Meredith shrugged. "Okay."

"Remember how Richard offered me the Head of Neurosurgery position?"

Meredith laughed. "Yeah, Ellie, I remember."

Ellie sighed. "I didn't sign the contract."

"Why not?"

"Because I got offered a job in New York." Meredith stared. "Jim offered me a Co-Head of Neurosurgery position, which means less work, for more money. Plus…then Mark won't have to start his practice over."

"So you and Mark are staying together?"

Ellie's jaw dropped. "I did not forget to tell you."

Meredith cocked one eyebrow. "Tell me what?"

"He asked me to marry him." Ellie said, smiling.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Meredith shrieked, reaching over the table to pull her sister in to a hug. "Oh my God, El…" Ellie grinned. "So you're engaged?"

Ellie sighed. "Not exactly. I don't really ever want to get married."

"You don't?"

Ellie shrugged. "Not really. So we're…uh…promised?" Ellie shrugged again and showed Meredith the ring.

"It's on your left hand, El."

"So?"

"Generally that means you're engaged."

Ellie sighed. "Whatever. The point is, I, uh…got offered this job in New York. And I'm taking it."

"You're moving to New York?" Ellie nodded. "Wow."

"I know. I'm leaving again, but…"

"Ellie, you don't have to explain it. You want to move to New York to live with Mark and be happy. Enough said."

Ellie sighed. "God. Why can't Addison think like you?" Meredith raised her eyebrows and Ellie's hand flew to her mouth. "I did not just say that." Ellie said, her words muffled.

"What are you talking about?" Meredith leaned back in her chair. "Is she not okay with this?"

Ellie sighed. "No. She wants me to stay here."

"Ellie, she can't ask you to do that. This is about you, not her."

"I know. And she knows. She just doesn't want me to leave. But I'm leaving anyway." Ellie ran her hands over her face. "I need to ask you something."

Meredith nodded. "Okay."

"I need you to keep an eye on her."

Meredith cocked one eyebrow. "Keep an…Ellie, isn't that what Derek's for?"

Ellie sighed. "Meredith, this is important to me. Derek is going to keep an eye on her like a husband keeps an eye on his wife. I just…I need someone I trust that will just…keep my updated. Derek will lie for her." Ellie leaned towards Meredith. "Please?"

"When are you leaving?"

"Nice change of subject."

"This has to do with what you're asking. When are you leaving?"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know yet. Mark is going back at the beginning of September, and I have a meeting with Richard this afternoon, because I wasn't supposed to go back until after Christmas, but…" Ellie took a deep breath. "I sort of want to go back with Mark."

Meredith nodded. "Okay. Since she's pregnant, I'll keep an extra eye on her. But after the baby is born, it's just an update every once in a while."

Ellie smiled. "Deal. Thanks Mere."

Meredith shrugged. "What are sisters for?" Ellie grinned. "So, what's good here?" Meredith glanced at the menu and Ellie breathed a sigh of relief. Addison knew she might be leaving in September, Meredith had agreed to keep an eye on Addison…Ellie pretty much had all her bases covered. Now all she had to do was talk to Richard.

* * *

**3:00 P.M.**

"I talked to Jim just a few minutes ago."

Ellie nodded. "And…?"

"He's offered to send me one of his residents for a few months in exchange for you. One of the girls…Hannah Graham?"

"She's pretty good."

Richard nodded. "She wants a different experience. She wants to come here to Seattle. He also agreed to your terms."

"The whole month of December off?"

"Yeah. So you can be here for the twins." Ellie looked taken aback. "You and Mark Sloan are not the only ones that know about those twins." Ellie laughed. "You're sure about this?"

Ellie nodded. "If you're okay with me leaving, then yes."

"Well, I don't like it, because you were our best bet to be the next Derek Shepherd, but I'll deal with it." Ellie smiled. "You're a talented surgeon, Eliot. You really are."

Ellie smiled. "Thank you, Richard."

"Now, I have a couple of other things I wanted to talk to you about." Ellie nodded. "First, Adele requests that whenever you're here in Seattle, you come to dinner at least once."

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"And I wanted to see how your AA meetings were going."

Ellie smiled. "They're going well. It's rare I find myself seriously craving alcohol anymore. Mark has been really good about going, and just sitting, but he's going to stop going once we get back to New York. We figured it was a new beginning on all levels."

"He's being good to you?" Ellie cocked one eyebrow. "You're my best friends daughter, Eliot. And you're the best friend of the woman I consider like my daughter. I've heard all the Mark stories from Derek, and Addison, and I want to see you happy as much as they do."

Ellie smiled. "Yes, he's being good to me. He asked me to marry him."

Richard smiled. "Congratulations. You're not engaged, are you?"

Ellie stared. "How did you…?"

"You just don't seem like someone who likes the idea of marriage. You've seen a lot of marriages fall apart."

Ellie nodded. "You're right. We're not engaged. He says it's a promise ring." Ellie said, holding up her left hand. "I don't need to get married."

Richard laughed. "It's not a bad thing."

"I know. I just…don't feel like I need to get married to be a part of his life forever."

Richard nodded. "Does he understand?"

Ellie shrugged. "He doesn't really get it, but he's okay with it I guess."

"Well that's good."

"Yeah." They sat in silence for a minute before Richard took a deep breath and spoke again. "We're going to miss you here, Eliot." Ellie smiled. "We really will."

"I'll miss it here too." Ellie said, taking a slow breath. "Thanks for dealing with me."

Richard laughed. "I'd hardly call it dealing with you. But, you're welcome." Richard sighed, leaning forward. "Are you going to see Ellis again?"

Ellie nodded. "I was going to go later today and then at least once more before I leave."

"I think that's a good idea." Richard grinned. "I'll let you go so that you can go see her."

"Thanks." Ellie stood, a smile on her face. "I'll see you tomorrow, Richard."

Richard nodded. "Tomorrow." As Ellie left the room, he couldn't help but sigh. As good as his team of surgeons was, losing Ellie was going to be tough, for a number of reasons.

* * *

**5:00 P.M.**

Ellie took a deep breath before opening the door to the nursing home. She stepped inside, pulling her coat tighter around her, and headed to the front desk.

"Dr. Grey! How are you?"

Ellie smiled. "I'm doing just fine. Is it alright if I go see her?"

The nurse nodded. "Absolutely. She's in the sitting room."

"How is she?"

The nurse sighed. "She's doing just fine, I guess."

Ellie smiled. "Thanks." The nurse nodded and Ellie headed down the hall towards the sitting room. She reached in to her purse and turned off her phone before walking in to the room. Ellis was sitting near the window, looking out in to the Seattle evening. Ellie sat down next to her, taking a deep breath. "Ellis…"

Ellis turned, and then smiled. "Eliot." Ellie grinned. "I haven't seen you in a while."

Ellie nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

Ellis shrugged. "You've been busy, I'm sure." Ellie nodded. "How are you?"

Ellie smiled. "I'm doing well. I've been dating Mark again."

"Really?" Ellie nodded. "Well, I didn't really expect that."

Ellie laughed. "He's changed." Ellis nodded. "He asked me to marry him."

"What did you say?"

Ellie sighed. "Well, I sort of said no, but that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him." Ellis smiled. "But I'm moving to New York."

"Oh." Ellis looked down.

"Look, I'll be back to visit Addison and Derek, so I'll come see you."

Ellis nodded. "So you're leaving Seattle Grace." Ellie nodded. "You know, you were one of their best up-and-coming surgeons."

Ellie laughed. "So I've heard."

"Where are you going in New York?"

"Bellevue. I'll be there Co-Head of Neurosurgery." Ellis smiled. "Is that a good thing?"

"That's amazing, Eliot. To be your age and be a Head of a Department…that's amazing." Ellie blushed. "You'll be missed here in Seattle though." Ellie smiled. "I want to meet this Mark character."

"Really?" Ellis nodded. "Okay. I'll bring him in to meet you before we leave."

Ellis nodded. "Good." Ellie smiled and leaned back in the chair as Ellis launched in to the explanation of a surgery she was going to be involved in. Ellie was going to miss these conversations with her mother, even if Ellis didn't really know who she was.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

Ellie pulled up in front of the trailer and smiled when she saw Mark sitting on the porch, waiting for her. He stood when he saw her, and headed towards the car as she got out of the drivers seat.

"Did you have a good day?" He asked, hugging her to him and kissing her forehead.

"Yeah. I had lunch with Meredith, who agreed to keep an eye on Addison, and then talked to Richard…who is letting me go early…"

Mark smiled. "Did Jim agree to give you all of December off?"

"Yeah." Ellie grinned. "And then I went to see Ellis."

"Yeah?" Ellie nodded. "How did that go?"

Ellie smiled. "Good. She wants to meet you."

"Me?" Ellie nodded. "Okay." Ellie grinned. "Does Addison know about you leaving in September?"

"She knew it was a possibility. I haven't talked to her since I talked to Richard."

Mark nodded. "Okay."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow." Mark nodded and they went in to the trailer, Mark's arm around Ellie's shoulder. Ellie set her coat and bag down on the couch and turned to face him. "We're moving to New York." Mark nodded, grinning. Ellie leaned up and kissed him, running her fingers through his hair. Mark lifted her off the ground, pulling her in to his arms and carrying her to the bed.

* * *

Addison looked up as Derek came in to the room. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked, worry in his eyes. "Are you going to be okay to go to work tomorrow?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

Derek sat down on the end of the bed. "I'm really sorry I had to leave. Emergency surgery…and they didn't know Ellie was back."

Addison shrugged. "It's okay."

"It's not okay." Derek said, shaking his head. "You were here, alone. That's not okay."

"Its okay, Derek." Addison said, reaching out for his hand. "Don't worry about it."

Derek took her hand and then crawled across the bed towards her, sitting down next to her. Addison leaned in to his chest, curling up next to him. "She's really leaving."

"I know." Derek said, pressing a kiss to the top of Addisons head. "Will you be okay?"

"She promised me a phone call everyday." Addison said, softly laughing. "Besides, I've got you."

Derek grinned. "You most certainly have." Addison grinned up at him, nuzzling her head in to his chest. "You'll always have me." Addison closed her eyes and fell quickly in to a deep sleep, and it wasn't long before Derek was asleep as well, curled up against his wife.

* * *

**I feel like it ended kind of weird. Meh.**

**Alright. That's it. That's all I've got for right now. Hope you guys liked it! Review please. – Mel.**


	52. Honestly

**Half Love**

"**Honestly"**

_Please don't mind what I'm trying to say cause I'm, I'm being honest  
When I tell you that you  
You're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life  
Being a part of you  
You tell me what you think about being open,  
Without being honest with yourself  
Cause things will never be the same.  
So I guess I'll see you, see you around  
I'm spinning, while falling down  
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay. –  
_"_Honestly"  
__By Cartel_

**August 31st, 2006**

**5:00 P.M.**

Ellie led Mark up the steps to the nursing home, gripping his hand.

"Are you sure you want me here?" Mark asked as they went inside. "It's your last time to see her, and she's already met me."

"I want you here." Ellie said, grinning. "Will you quit whining?"

"I'm not whining." Mark said, signing in after Ellie did and following her to the sitting room. "I just thought you might want to see Ellis alone."

"Well I don't." Ellie snapped. "Will you drop it please?" Mark nodded and followed her in to the sitting room. Ellie stepped up next to Ellis and smiled. "Hi Ellis."

Ellis turned and smiled. "Eliot. It's so good to see you."

Ellie grinned. "I just wanted to say one last goodbye before I leave for New York."

Ellis nodded. "That's right. You're leaving soon, aren't you?"

"Tomorrow."

Ellis nodded. "Well, sit down. Do you have time?"

"We're meeting the Shepherds for dinner at six-thirty." Mark said. "So we've got a few minutes."

Ellis smiled. "That's fantastic." Mark nodded and sat down on the other side of Ellie as she sat in the chair closest to Ellie. The truth was, Addison, Derek, and Meredith had something planned to say goodbye to Ellie, and he was supposed to be helping. "So are you excited to leave?"

Ellie nodded. "I guess so. I'm certainly going to miss Addison, but…I love New York, so…" Ellie was interrupted by Mark's cell phone ringing.

"I'm sorry." He said, smiling. "Excuse me." Mark left the room, answering his cell phone as he went in to the hall. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Where are you?" Derek asked. "We could use your help."

"I know, Derek, but…"

"Make up something, Mark."

"She dragged me with her to see Ellis. What am I supposed to do, Derek?"

"If you don't want to be here, you should have just said something." Ellie snapped, leaning against the door.

"El…" Mark sighed. "Derek, I have to go."

"Okay…"

Mark hung up the phone and sighed. "Eliot, it's not that I don't want to be here, I just…I…well…"

"You know what? Just go." Ellie said, sighing. "Just pick me up."

"Eliot…"

"You don't want to be here, so just go." Ellie turned and headed back in to the sitting room.

"Eliot…" She turned briefly. "I'm sorry…" Ellie waved him off and Mark took a deep breath before leaving. What a way to start off the evening.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"I'm sorry." Ellie said, turning to Mark as she got in to the car. "I shouldn't have dragged you along, and I shouldn't have gotten so upset…"

"Eliot, what's wrong?" Mark asked, unbuckling his seat belt and turning to face her. "You've been fine, and then all of a sudden…"

"I'm scared." Ellie blurted out, looking down.

"Of what?" Mark put one hand on her leg. "Eliot…"

"I'm still scared." She said, sighing. "I'm afraid that we're going to get to New York and you're going to realize that you've made a mistake."

"A mistake?" Mark sighed. "Ellie…"

"How can you be so sure that I'm right for you? How do you know there isn't someone else?"

Mark took a deep breath and lifted her chin so that he could look in to her eyes. "Because I don't want anyone else. Baby, what brought this on? Everything was fine…"

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know. I just haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day."

Mark squeezed her hand. "Eliot, I love you. You know that. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If this is about leaving Addison behind…"

"It's not. It's not, I promise." Ellie took a deep breath. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry."

"Its okay, El." Mark said, smiling. "You're allowed to freak out a little." Mark kissed Ellie softly on the lips, and then pulled back, leaning their foreheads together. "I love you, just remember that." Ellie nodded. "You ready?" Ellie nodded again and Mark sat back in his seat. He took hold of her hand as they drove out of the parking lot, and they rode the rest of the way to the Shepherds in silence. They were still living in Ellie's Dads place, but their house on the property was about half way done. Mark let go of her hand only to get out of the car, and had hold of it again by the time they were headed to the front door. He led her up the steps and in to the house, not even bothering to knock on the door.

"Addie? Derek?" Ellie looked around. "Mark, where…" Mark reached over and turned on a light, and Ellie shrieked. The living room to their right was filled with people from the hospital, and a _We'll Miss You Ellie_ sign was hanging above the group. "Oh my God…" Ellie grinned and then turned to Mark. "This is why you didn't want to be at the nursing home with me?" Mark nodded and she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "This is ridiculous." Ellie said, laughing. "Thank you."

Meredith pulled her in to the crowd. "Well, we're going to miss you." Ellie grinned and followed Meredith through the crowd of people, saying hi to those she knew and grinning at those she'd only seen around. Someone turned on music, and Ellie and Meredith began to dance. Derek joined them from the kitchen as Cartel's _Honestly_ began to play.

_Please don't mind what I'm trying to say cause I'm, I'm being honest  
When I tell you that you  
You're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life  
Being a part of you  
You tell me what you think about being open,  
Without being honest with yourself  
Cause things will never be the same.  
So I guess I'll see you, see you around  
I'm spinning, while falling down  
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay._

The only thing that Ellie noticed was that Addison was nowhere to be found.

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

When Addison came in to the living room, Ellie was on the table with Derek and Mark. Addison laughed at the three of them, dancing to another Cartel song, which she found ironic, since neither Mark nor Derek were very good dancers, unless it came to slow dancing. Addison leaned against the door jam.

"Hey." Meredith came up next to her, grinning. "How are you doing?"

Addison shrugged. "Fine."

"Uh-huh." Meredith turned to face her. "You've been AWOL for two hours. The only reason Ellie didn't search the house for you is because Derek and Mark kept her attention on other things."

"Are they drunk?" Addison asked.

Meredith laughed. "Derek and Mark have both had some, but they're not drunk. Obviously, Ellie hasn't had any." Addison nodded.

"Addie!" Ellie shrieked from the room and jumped off the table, racing through the crowd of people. "Where have you been?"

Addison sighed. "Around. How's it going?"

Ellie laughed. "Good. I forgot how horrible those two are at dancing." Addison looked over at Derek and Mark, who were still dancing on the table, though without Ellie, they looked even more ridiculous than they had before.

Addison laughed. "Maybe you should help them out a little."

Ellie nodded slowly. "Addison, are you alright?"

Addison nodded. "Yeah. 23 weeks pregnant doesn't do much for a girls dancing skills, but I'm fine." Ellie nodded and rejoined Derek and Mark on the table as an old pop song from the 90s started playing.

"No." Mark said, shaking his head. "Not happening."

"Aw, come on!" Ellie said, grinning and grabbing his arm to stop him from getting off the table. "Please?"

"No. This is your thing with Derek and Addison."

"Mark. 23 weeks pregnant doesn't do much for a girls dancing skills. You know this. Please?" Ellie pouted her lower lip and Derek followed suit, leaning over her shoulder.

Mark sighed. "Fine. But we're doing this right. Start the song over." He yelled. George nodded and restarted the song, causing a mass frenzy and the whole group to turn and look at Ellie, Derek and Mark. Ellie closed her eyes, picturing Derek and Addisons wedding, when she, Addison and Derek had developed a ridiculous routine to Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry. When Ellie opened her eyes, Mark and Derek were wiggling their hips in time to the music, and Ellie caught Addison's eye. Ellie burst in to laughter, collapsing on to the coffee table.

Mark pulled her in to a standing position and leaned in to her ear. "I'm doing this. You get to do this too." Ellie nodded, still laughing, and began to move in time with Derek and Mark, jutting her left hip out towards the group and spinning on her toes. Addison watched from the back of the room, laughing, but upset at the same time. It was moments like this that she was going to miss the most.

* * *

**September 1st, 2006**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke with a start, unsure of her surroundings. That was Derek's hip her head was lying on, and she was pretty sure her legs were tangled with Marks. She knew that she hadn't had anything to drink last night, despite the pushing of those who didn't know about her alcoholism. What she was unsure of was how she, Derek, and Mark ended up tangled together on the floor of the living room. Ellie sat up and fought her way to her feet, walking in to the kitchen. Addison was sitting at the counter and looked up when Ellie walked in.

"Morning." Addison said, grinning. "There's coffee if you want some."

"What happened?" Ellie asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "I didn't drink, did I?"

Addison shook her head. "No. I think you, Derek and Mark were up pretty late though. Cristina and Preston left at about 11:30, and then George, Izzie and Meredith left at one, everyone else was gone long before that…and I think the three of you were up late playing cards or something."

"Where were you?"

"I went up to bed when Meredith, Izzie and George left."

Ellie nodded. "Okay…" She was about to open her mouth when Mark and Derek came in to the kitchen together.

"How late were we up?" Derek asked, looking at Ellie as he poured himself a cup of coffee and then handed the coffee pot to Mark.

"I don't know." Ellie took a gulp of her coffee. "But you two are adorable when you sleep together." Derek and Mark looked at each other, confusion on their faces, and then looked back at Ellie, who was laughing. Derek snagged a towel and threw it at her. Ellie grinned. "I'm going to go take a shower." Ellie left the kitchen and Mark set his coffee cup down.

"Uh. No. Not in our shower." Derek said.

Mark laughed. "I'm just going to talk to her." Derek cocked one eyebrow and then turned away, opening the fridge. Mark left the kitchen and raced up the stairs after Ellie, grabbing her waist. "Hey."

"Hi." Ellie leaned up and kissed him good morning, wrapping her arms around him.

"Are you doing okay?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Addison didn't spend a lot of time hanging out with me last night."

Mark nodded. "I know. I don't know what to tell you…"

Ellie shrugged. "It's okay. I had fun though."

"Me too." Mark placed a kiss on her forehead. "So…"

"We leave in 6 hours."

Mark nodded. "I know."

Ellie grinned. "Okay. I'm going to take a shower. Meredith is supposed to stop by in about half an hour, so…"

"I'll come get you when she gets here." Mark said. Ellie smiled and Mark kissed her softly on the lips before heading back down the stairs.

* * *

**8:45 A.M.**

Ellie raced down the stairs, throwing her still wet hair in to a ponytail.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" She said, joining Meredith in the room across from the living room. Addison liked to call it the sitting room. Ellie wasn't really sure what it was. "I was in the shower, and…"

"It's okay." Meredith said, grinning. "Richard gave me until 10:00."

Ellie smiled. "Good. Hold that thought." Ellie raced in to the kitchen, where Addison, Derek and Mark were. "I'm going to go for a walk with Meredith." They nodded and Ellie left, dragging Meredith out the front door.

"Where are we going?"

"I just wanted to talk to you without them walking through the house."

"Okay." Meredith laughed and followed Ellie down the steps and down the street.

"I wanted to tell you something." Ellie said, stopping at a park that was about a block from the house. Ellie sat down on a bench and took a deep breath. "Look, when I first moved in with you and Mom, it was hard for me to be friends with you. The age difference and then the whole not having known you for your whole life thing…" Meredith laughed and nodded. "But you've become a friend I can't live without, Mere." Meredith smiled. "I don't know what I would have done without you. I mean I know we had issues, but…I couldn't have imagined these last eight months without you." Meredith wrapped Ellie in a hug. "I love you, Mere."

"I love you too, El." Meredith sighed. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." Ellie said, trying to fight tears. "Tons."

* * *

**9:15 A.M.**

George was tapping his fingers on the window ledge as Izzie pulled in to the Shepherds driveway.

"Are you sure they're not going to mind?" George said, sighing as they got out of the car.

"No. Look, Meredith's here anyway." Izzie headed up the steps to the front door and knocked. "They'll understand." Izzie smiled at George and then grinned when Derek opened the door. "Hi."

Derek smiled. "Hi. She went for a walk with Meredith."

"Oh." Izzie looked down. "Okay, well…"

Derek laughed. "You can come in, Izzie. They'll be back."

"Oh. Okay." Izzie smiled and she and George stepped inside.

"Hey George."

George smiled. "Derek."

"You doing alright?"

George cocked an eyebrow. "Are you?"

Derek laughed. "Fair enough." Derek led them in to the kitchen, where Addison was sitting, talking to Mark.

"Hey." Mark said, smiling at Izzie and glancing at George. Things were still awkward between the two men. "How're you doing?"

Izzie shrugged. "Fine. We just wanted to say goodbye."

Mark nodded. "I figured as much. They should be back soon." Almost immediately the door opened.

"And then you yelled, 'No, don't do that!' and I thought you were going to save me."

Ellie laughed. "Instead I just took you from PT and threw you in the pool myself."

"Yeah. Thanks for that."

"I do what I can." They walked in to the kitchen and Ellie froze. "Izzie. George. Hey!"

"Hey." Izzie smiled. "We came to say goodbye."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. Can I talk to you for a second?" Izzie nodded and followed Ellie out of the room and on to the front porch. "I just wanted to tell you, you've been such an awesome person these past few months. How you put up with me…"

"Well, it was difficult to say the least, but I managed." Izzie said, laughing.

Ellie grinned. "I just…I know the whole Meredith versus Addison thing was difficult, and you were really great about it."

Izzie shrugged. "It's not a big deal, Ellie. Don't worry about it."

"I just wanted to say thanks."

"Well, you're welcome." Izzie wrapped Ellie in a hug. "We're going to miss you around here."

Ellie smiled. "I'm going to miss you guys too." Ellie took a deep breath. "Take care of Meredith for me, will ya?"

Izzie nodded. "Of course I will."

"And George?"

Izzie smiled. "And George."

Ellie smiled. "Speaking of George…"

"You want to talk to him?" Ellie nodded. "Okay. I'll send him out here."

"Thanks." Izzie nodded, hugged Ellie one last time and went back in to the house. Ellie sat down on the porch steps.

"Hey." George said, coming out of the house. "Izzie said you wanted to talk to me?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, sit down, George." George sat down next to her and Ellie turned to face him. "You still mean a lot to me, George. I hope you know that." George nodded. "I never meant to hurt you…"

"I know." He said, smiling. "I think we hurt each other, Ellie." Ellie nodded. "And it shouldn't have happened, but it did."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, it did."

"But you're happy, right?" Ellie nodded. "Good. Because I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too, George."

George laughed. "I'm working on it."

"I'm going to miss you."

George smiled. "I'm going to miss you too, El." George hugged her to him. Ellie immediately burst in to tears. "Whoa. You alright?"

"I'm just going to miss everyone." Ellie said, leaning back. "I've been fighting tears since yesterday."

"No one is going to care if you cry, Ellie."

"I'm going to care." Ellie said, laughing. "Whatever. It doesn't matter." Ellie wiped her tears and stood. "We should go in. You guys have to go to the hospital soon, don't you?"

George nodded as they walked back in to the house. "Yeah. We do."

Ellie nodded. "Okay." She grinned as they walked in to the kitchen. "Thanks for stopping by." She said, hugging Izzie and George in turn. "It was good to see you guys."

"You too." Izzie said, grinning. "You'll be back right?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I'll be back." George tossed her a smile and they left.

Meredith took a deep breath. "I should go too." Ellie looked down, the tears breaking on her face. Meredith wrapped Ellie in a hug and then they walked out of the kitchen together. They stopped at the bottom of the steps, and both women were crying. "Okay. I'll call you." Meredith said, wiping her own tears. "And I'll email you. And you'll be back."

"I'll be back." Ellie said, swallowing her pride and sobbing. "I'm going to miss you. You're my sister. I should get to hang around you more."

Meredith nodded. "I know. I'll come out and visit you. You'll be back. You're my sister, no matter what." Ellie nodded and Meredith hugged her. "Now buck up. You still have to say goodbye to Addison and Derek."

Ellie's jaw dropped. "Oh my God. You suck. Why did you remind me…?"

"I'm sorry." Meredith giggled. "I just…I'm sorry." Meredith hugged Ellie tighter. "I'll miss you. I love you, and hopefully I'll see you soon."

Ellie nodded. "Soon. Definitely."

Meredith hugged Ellie one last time and got in to her car. Ellie sat down on the edge of the steps and heaved a deep sigh. She was sitting with her head in her hands when she felt two strong hands on her back.

"Are you okay?" Mark asked, rubbing circles on her back.

"Yeah." Ellie said, sighing. "I didn't realize how much I'm going to miss Meredith." Mark nodded. "But I'm okay."

"Am I ripping you away from your family?" Mark asked, pain in his eyes. "Am I forcing you in to something that you don't want to do?"

"No." Ellie shook her head and her face dropped when she saw the pain in his eyes. "Oh, baby, no. No." Ellie pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I want to go to New York. I really do. I just wish I could take all of them with me." Mark laughed. "You are the most important thing to me. No matter what."

Mark kissed her softly and then helped her to her feet. "Okay. As long as you're sure." Ellie nodded. "Okay. We should go in. We don't have a lot of time left." Ellie nodded, lacing her fingers through Marks and following him in to the house.

* * *

**11:00 A.M.**

Ellie was sitting on the couch in the trailer when her cell phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Mark said you wanted to talk to me. Are you at the trailer?"

Ellie smiled. "Oh, you know me so well."

"I'll be there in a bit."

"Okay." Ellie hung up the phone and leaned back in to the couch. Almost immediately, Derek came flying through the screen door.

"Hello love." Derek said, sitting down on the couch next to her. "What's up?"

Ellie took a deep breath and turned to Derek. "I've spent all day trying to do this the right way. I wrote Addison a four page letter a couple of nights ago. I talked to Meredith, Izzie, and George this morning. I talked to Cristina and Preston last night…but I haven't done this right yet. Maybe with Addison's letter, but with the others…I want to say certain things, but I get all choked up and sobby…and I don't want to cry in front of them." Ellie grinned. "You, however, I'm not afraid to cry in front of." Derek laughed. "So, I'm going to get out whatever I can before I break down so much you can't understand me."

"Okay."

Ellie took a deep breath. "I know we've been through a lot. And I am so glad that we're still friends. I seriously don't know what I would do without you." Ellie took a deep breath. "You're my best friend, Derek. Well…one of them." Derek laughed. "This last year…without you…I don't know what I would have done. Even though we screwed up, having you on my side, for the most part, was so amazing. And I wish I could pack you and Addie up and take you with me. But you've started this amazing life here, and you've got the twins coming…" Ellie took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her face. "I'm going to miss you so much."

Derek forced a smile. "I'm going to miss you too, El." Ellie let out a sob and Derek pulled her in to a hug. They sat there for a few minutes while Ellie calmed down. "Okay. Are you ready? Because we're meeting Mark and Addie at the house and then going to the airport."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

* * *

**11:30 A.M.**

Ellie's hands were shaking as she fished through her bag.

"Ellie…"

"No. I have something for you." Ellie said, trying to fight tears. "I do."

"El, it's okay." Addison said, holding Ellie by the shoulders. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not okay." Ellie snapped. "I've said goodbye to everyone else, but I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to you, so I wrote everything down, and I have to give it to you."

Addison nodded. "Okay."

Ellie knelt down and dug through her purse, finally pulling out a thick envelope. "Here." Ellie stood, handing it to Addison. "That's everything I would have said if I had been able to guarantee I wouldn't burst in to tears." Addison smiled. "There are tear stains on it, I think."

Addison giggled. "Okay."

"Addie I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Addison smiled. "See, we're doing good. No tears."

Ellie laughed. "I guess so." Ellie wrapped Addison in a hug. "I'll call you tomorrow. I promise."

Addison nodded. "Okay. Have a good flight." Ellie stepped back from Addisons hug and turned to Derek, forcing a smile.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." He said, grinning and pulling her in to a hug. Addison was hugging Mark. When Ellie stepped back, tears were rolling down her face. Ellie hugged Addison one last time, and then without another word, Ellie and Mark headed through security. Addison and Derek waited until they couldn't see them anymore, and then Addison ripped open the envelope. She scanned through it until she got to the last page. At the bottom, just above Ellie's signature, were the words: _Family is about more than blood. It's about an unbreakable connection that no one else understands. And you, my dear, are my family._ Addison finally let her tears fall and Derek led her out of the airport, his arm around her.

* * *

**7:00 P.M.**

**(10:00 P.M. in New York)**

"Eliot." Mark whispered, shaking her awake. "Eliot, baby, wake up."

Ellie's eyes fluttered open. "Huh?"

"Sit up, love."

"Where are we?" Ellie asked, sitting up in the back seat of the car.

"We're home." He said, smiling.

"Home?" Ellie asked, grinning.

"Yeah, baby. We're home."

* * *

**Okay. They're in New York. Wow. Writing that chapter sucked. That was ridiculous. Review please! – Mel.**


	53. Run

**Half Love**

"**Run"**

_I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done  
And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here  
Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear –  
_"_Run"  
__By Snow Patrol_

**October 16th, 2006**

**10:00 A.M.**

**(7:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie waltzed down the hall, charts in her hands, interns on her heels. Ellie stopped in front of the nurses' desk and grinned. "Alright. Good morning and welcome to Bellevue. I'm Dr. Grey, and I'm your resident, as well as the Co-Head of Neurosurgery. That means that you answer to me. And if not me, then to an attending. You do not answer to each other, and no one answers to you. Got it?" The group nodded. "Good. You're rather lucky, its slow today, but it will probably speed up. Get used to running. There are only two things I hate. The first one is when interns move too slowly, and the second is when interns act like they know what they're doing. You don't yet. You'll learn that lesson very quickly. I certainly did." Ellie scanned the group briefly and forced back a smile. She could pick out the Cristina and the Alex of the group easily, and was sure there was probably an Izzie. Six interns at her beck and call. "Okay. Here are your pagers…" Ellie said, handing each intern a pager. "Keep the volume up. No cell phones. I don't care what you see residents or attendings doing. Okay, now, if you need a Neuro consult you're going to need to get either myself or Dr. Jason DuPree. Dr. Jim Mitchell is our Chief of Surgery, Dr. Michael Beuving is cardio, Dr. Janie Little is neo-natal; and Dr. Mark Sloan is plastics. He is on call-in basis only." Ellie laughed. "Well, you might see him here, but you always place a call to him before you talk to him. You never know what he's here for." Ellie sighed, glancing at her chart. "Okay, as far as today goes, Barter you're with Little, Prewitt on patient work-up, James and Palm in the pit, Scott with Beuving and Johnston with DuPree," The interns stood and stared at her for a minute, as if awaiting more instructions. Ellie sighed. "Go." The interns dispersed and Ellie leaned against the counter.

"New interns." The head nurse, Jessica, smiled. "Fresh meat."

Ellie laughed. "Yeah. Are there any messages for me?"

Jessica nodded. "Yeah." Jessica handed Ellie three pink pieces of paper and Ellie smiled. "I know, right?"

Ellie smiled. "He's so cute." Ellie set the pieces of paper down and snagged her cell phone from her pocket.

"Good morning Beautiful."

"Romance is the fuel that keeps love burning hot?"

Mark laughed. "What? I like that quote."

"It's cute, Mark, but is it entirely appropriate?"

"It was Jess. It wasn't like it was one of the new nurses."

Ellie smiled. "I guess that's true."

"So, will you actually be home tonight? Because you've been at the hospital every night for the last week and a half, and I miss you."

"I miss you too." Ellie said, ducking in to the nearest supply closet. "And yes, I will actually be home tonight. We have got to have sex."

Mark laughed. "Um. Duh."

Ellie giggled. "Okay. I have a couple of other phone calls to return and some interns to torture, but I love you and I'll see you later."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye." Ellie hung up the phone and folded the piece of paper, slipping it in to her pocket. The next one was from Meredith. The 'does not need to return call' box was checked, and underneath it was written, _She's doing fine. You can believe whatever it is she or Derek tells you. Good lord, she's getting huge too. She finally let it slip that its twins…makes way more sense now._ Ellie laughed and slipped the piece of paper in to her box. She would have called Meredith back, but Meredith had said if the 'does not need to return call' box was checked then Ellie really shouldn't call her back, because she would just tell her what was written on the paper. The third one was from Addison, and the only thing that was written under the 'please return call' box was _ILY_, or I love you. Ellie smiled and reached for the hospital phone that was in the supply closet.

"Seattle Grace Hospital."

"This is Eliot Grey. May I speak to Addison Shepherd?"

"Absolutely, Dr. Grey. Hold on please." Olivia put Ellie on hold, and Ellie went through two unrecognizable songs before Elton Johns _Tiny Dancer_ began to play. Half way through it, Addison picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Wait. Put me back on hold. I liked that song."

Addison laughed. "Seriously?"

Ellie giggled. "No. Hi."

"Hi."

"How's it going?"

Addison sighed. "Good. Things are busy here, and the twins are doing well. Dr. Harden says that there shouldn't be any complications."

"That's good."

"Yeah. So how are you?"

Ellie groaned. "Ugh…I've been working my ass off. I got a new set of interns today, and I haven't slept at home overnight in a week and a half."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Whenever I do make it home, Mark isn't there, he's at work. We haven't seen each other except for lunches and occasional coffee breaks…we haven't had sex in almost two weeks."

Addison cringed. "Ouch."

"You're telling me." Ellie sighed. "But I'm finally going home tonight. Thank God."

Addison laughed. "So you'll be good, then?"

"In about nine hours, I'll be fantastic." Addison laughed. "How's Derek?"

"Fine. He and Preston have started hanging out…"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, I think they both miss Mark."

Ellie laughed. "That's really funny."

"I guess."

Ellie sighed. "I miss you Addie."

"I miss you too." Ellie opened her mouth to speak again when there was a knock on the door. Ellie opened it reluctantly.

"Dr. Grey, you're needed on a consult." Mark said, grinning.

Ellie grinned. "Addie, I have to go."

"Mark showed up, didn't he?"

Ellie laughed. "Yeah. I'll call you later, I promise."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too." Ellie hung up the phone and grinned. "What are you doing here?" Mark grinned and pulled flowers out from behind his back. "Oh, Mark…"

"I talked Jim in to giving you the weekend off." Ellie's eyes widened. "So I'm whisking you away for the weekend."

"Mark, its Wednesday."

Mark laughed. "Okay, so I talked him in to giving you Wednesday through Tuesday off. Whatever."

Ellie smiled. "Mark…I just got interns. I have 8,000 things to do…"

"Let Jason handle it." Mark pleaded. "Baby, please. I never see you. We've been here a month and a half and we've spent seven nights together." Ellie looked down. Mark was right. "Eliot…."

Ellie looked up and smiled. "Okay." Mark grinned. "Hold on." Ellie moved around the corner, setting the white roses on the counter. "Jess…"

"Did he bring you those?" Ellie nodded. "Wow. I just heard. You're heading out?"

Ellie laughed. "Apparently. Will you just forward any calls to my voice mail unless they're urgent?" Jessica nodded. "You can tell either one of the Shepherds or Meredith where I am, but that's it."

"Okay. And your interns?"

"Jason. Tell them to report to Jason."

Jessica nodded, smiling. "Okay. Have fun Ellie."

Ellie grinned. "I will." Ellie took the flowers in one hand and laced her fingers through Marks. She leaned in to him as they walked in to the office that she shared with Jason.

Jason was sitting at his desk and grinned when they walked in. "So, I hear you're headed out for the weekend."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah…"

Jason laughed. "Lucky. Well, I guess I did leave you here alone last weekend."

Ellie grinned. "Yes, you did." Jason smirked. "I told Jess to have my interns report to you."

Jason nodded. "Okay. Am I allowed to call you?"

"Emergencies only." Mark said, interjecting before Ellie could say yes.

"Okay." Jason smiled. "Well, have fun."

Ellie grabbed her bag, throwing it over her shoulder. "Thanks." After making sure she wasn't leaving anything on her desk, Ellie and Mark left. On her way out, she passed a couple of her interns.

"Dr. Grey…" Holden James and Allen Palm grinned at her as she left.

"I'm leaving for the weekend. You guys will be reporting to Dr. DuPree until next Wednesday."

"Okay." Holden smiled. "Have a good weekend."

"Thank you, Dr. James." Mark said, grinning. Holden looked taken aback, and didn't say anything else as they left. "Have they been hitting on you?"

Ellie giggled. "Do the interns make you jealous, Mark?"

"Well, you went out with an intern…"

Ellie dropped his hand. "You seriously think that…?"

"No, no…" Mark shook his head. "I just don't want them to think you're single." Ellie grinned and Mark looked down. "That sounds stupid…"

"It's not stupid. It's cute." Ellie took his hand again and they made their way to the car. Ellie set her things in the back and then took the drivers seat. "Did you take a cab here?" Mark nodded and sat down in the passenger seat as Ellie slid in to the drivers' seat. Ellie started the car and they had barely made it out of the parking lot before Mark was leaned over, nibbling on her neck and the spot right behind her ear. "Mark…" He looked at her as she breathed his name, stopping at a red light. "You can't do that. I won't be able to drive."

"So pull over." He said, grinning.

Ellie sighed. "Mark…"

"Okay, okay," He took her hand as the light turned grin. He played with her hand, running his fingers over it and lacing his fingers through hers. "I love you." He said.

"I love you." She whispered, pulling up in front of the house. She had made it there in record time and Mark grinned as they got out of the car, Ellie grabbing her things from the backseat before following him through the front door. Ellie had barely set the roses on the counter when Mark lifted her in to his arms, carrying her up the stairs. He dropped her on the bed and carefully unbuttoned the blouse she was wearing before unhooking her bra and attacking her nipples. Ellie arched in to his mouth, letting out a sigh. "God I missed you." She said, bringing his mouth to hers. Mark grinned as they kissed, slipping his hand between her legs. Ellie squirmed when he touched her, moaning in to his mouth.

"You're pretty much ready, aren't you?" He asked, laughing.

"It's not funny." Ellie said. "It's almost two weeks of not having sex with you, and then you nibbling on my neck on the way home."

"Okay…" Mark reached his hand around to her side, unzipping her Prada pinstripe pants. He slid them down her legs, taking her Jimmy Choos off before sliding the pants all the way off her legs. Mark was taking off his own jeans when he heard Ellie moan. He looked up and noticed that her hand had slid beneath the hemline of the thong she was wearing. He kicked his jeans off and grabbed her hand, pulling both hands above her head. "Don't do that."

"But…"

Mark shook his head. "Don't." Ellie sighed with impatience as Mark used one hand to slide off her thong, the other one still holding her hands. She worked his boxers off with her feet, and once he was out of them, he let go of her hands. She wrapped them around his body as he slid in to her, thrusting at a steady speed. She was moaning in his ear, but when he felt her hand trying to work its way between them he pulled out of her and flipped her over, sliding in to her from behind and pressing his own hand against her clit. Ellie jumped when he touched her, letting out a small shriek and a sigh. Ellie was rocketing against him when they came together, sighing each others' name. Mark collapsed against her, laying her on her side. He went to pull out, but she stopped him.

"Don't." She breathed. "Stay there."

"Ellie, we have to go."

Ellie sighed. "Just a few more minutes, Mark. Please."

Mark smiled. "Okay. But only a few, because we have a flight to catch." Ellie snuggled her back up against him and he wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in the crook of her neck. It felt amazing to hold her after so long. Mark hugged her to him, and a few minutes later he pulled out, because he knew if he didn't they would be having sex again, and then they would really be late. "Baby…"

Ellie opened her eyes and sat up. "Where are we going?"

Mark laughed. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Well what am I supposed to pack?"

Mark grinned devilishly. "Nothing. You won't need clothes." Ellie cocked one eyebrow in an 'excuse me?' fashion. "Fine. The weather is similar to here. Just make sure you have a swim suit." Ellie stared at him. "Humor me, please. I barely ever see you naked. The least you could do is wear a bikini."

Ellie laughed. "Fine." Ellie pulled her clothes back on. She was zipping up her pants when she placed one hand on the bed, leaning over and kissing him. "Thank you." She said, smiling.

"For what?" Mark asked, wearing only his jeans.

Ellie touched one hand to his chest lovingly. "For whisking me away."

Mark grinned. "Sure, baby. But this is just as much for you as it is for me." Ellie grinned and moved away from the bed. She grabbed a suitcase from the closet and began to toss things in to it. She moved quickly, and when she finally zipped the bag up, Mark grinned. "Are you sure you have everything?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah."

"All your hair and makeup stuff…everything?"

Ellie sighed. "Yes, Mark."

Mark grinned. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure." He reached for her hand and they left the house together.

* * *

**12:00 P.M.**

**(9:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Addison was walking slowly down the hall when her cell phone rang. She reached for it and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"He's taking me to Paris."

Addison froze. "What?"

"Mark is whisking me away for the weekend. To Paris, Addie."

"Oh, Ellie…"

"He said we should take the time to really start over. And since Paris is where our relationship really started…"

Addison smiled, leaning against the wall. "You're going to have such a good time."

"I'm so excited. Our flight leaves in thirty minutes, but I wanted to let you know…that's where I'm going to be."

"Call me from the hotel."

"I will. Bye Addie."

"Bye." Addison hung up the phone and sighed, pressing her hand to her stomach. She closed her eyes, taking slow breaths.

"Addison? Are you alright?" Meredith placed one hand on her shoulder. They had become closer since Ellie's departure.

"Yeah." Addison said, opening her eyes. "I'm fine." Meredith placed her hands on her hips and cocked one eyebrow. "You look like Ellie when you do that."

"Good. Maybe you'll spill your guts then."

Addison sighed. "Mark is taking her to Paris."

Meredith's eyes widened. "When?"

"Right now. For the weekend." Meredith nodded. "It's just…the four of used to do that, and now we can't. And not just because they're in New York and we're not." Addison looked down. "This is going to sound horrible, but…"

"It's okay. I got it. You're…jealous?" Addison shrugged. "Because she gets to go to Paris and you can't. Because of the twins."

Addison nodded. "Yeah. I guess that's it."

"Well once the twins are born, Derek will take you somewhere the first chance he gets. You know that."

Addison nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"Are you going to be okay?" Addison nodded. "Okay…"

"Thanks Meredith."

Meredith grinned. "Sure thing, Addison." Meredith squeezed her shoulder and headed down the hall, almost immediately running in to Derek. "Hey."

"Hi." Derek said, barely looking up from his chart.

"Go talk to your wife."

Derek froze. "Why? Is she alright?"

"Physically, yes. Just…go…"

Derek raced down the hall, finding Addison leaning against the counter. "Addie?"

"I'm fine." She said, groaning. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

Derek placed one hand on Addisons back. "Addison what is it?"

Addison sighed, turning to face him. "Mark is taking Ellie to Paris for the weekend." Derek nodded. "We never do anything like that anymore."

"We will." Derek said, lacing their fingers together. "Baby, you're pregnant. You have to take it easy right now. But once the twins are born…we'll go somewhere. Paris, even. I promise."

"Really?"

Derek nodded, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Yeah, love. We'll go wherever you want."

Addison smiled. "Okay. I didn't mean to freak out…"

"It's okay, baby. Don't worry about it." Derek wrapped Addison in a hug, placing a kiss against her forehead. Almost immediately, Addison gripped his shoulder. "Addie?"

"Ow. Oh, ow." She said, pressing her hand to her stomach. "Ow." Derek grabbed the nearest wheel chair and made Addison sit down. "Not yet. Oh come on…ow."

"Addie?"

"Derek, page Dr. Harden."

* * *

**October 17th, 2006**

**11:00 A.M.**

**(5:00 A.M. in New York)**

**(2:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie woke up wrapped in Marks arms. They'd only been in Paris for about five hours, but already Ellie loved it. She snuggled in to his chest, opening her eyes just for a second. Over Marks shoulder Ellie could see the message light blinking on the phone. She crawled over him, pulling the sheets around her naked body. As Ellie listened to the message, her face began to pale. Mark sat up; realizing that she was awake and he wrapped his arms around her waist as the color drained from her face. "No…" She breathed, putting her face in her hands.

"Eliot? What is it?" Ellie replayed the message and pressed the phone to Marks ear.

"Ellie, its Derek. The hospital gave me your number. Addison went in to labor at about twelve thirty, and the twins were born at 1:00 and 1:15 this morning…" Mark looked up at Ellie.

"I missed it." She whispered, tears on her face. "I missed it."

* * *

**Okay. Wow, so even I'm a little shocked at how fast I updated. But there it is. Enjoy, and review please! – Mel.**


	54. Last One Standing

**For those of you that asked, yes, the twins were early. And you'll get to see their birth. Don't you worry. LOL.**

**Half Love**

"**Last One Standing"**

_Through the wind and the rain through the laughter and pain count on me  
And when life isn't fair and there's nobody there I will be  
In a world of pretenders I am your defender  
And when it all comes down I'll be the last one standing  
__This is for life don't ever doubt it I'm already falling  
Love is alive so stand up and shout it cause destiny's calling  
The others who stand behind me they don't look nothing like me –  
_"_Last One Standing"  
__By Emerson Drive_

**October 17th, 2006**

**2:00 P.M.**

**(8:00 A.M. in New York)**

**(5:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

As Ellie leaned back in her seat, she glanced over at Mark, who had almost immediately fallen asleep, and sighed. She felt horrible. When she'd hung up the phone she'd burst in to tears and then screamed and yelled at him as if it was his fault. And he sat on the bed and took it, as if it really was his fault. But she knew there was nothing that either of them could have done. Even if they'd been in New York, they would have probably missed it. When she'd reached Derek at the hospital, he had insisted that it wasn't her fault, and that Addison felt the same way. No one knew the babies were coming early. But Mark had agreed to immediately hopping a plane to Seattle, even though it meant cutting their vacation short. Other than that, they hadn't spoken since she yelled. She didn't know what to say to him, and she was pretty sure he was a little afraid to speak. Ellie closed her eyes, letting tears fall from the corners, and leaned in to Mark. She felt him move, but didn't open her eyes until he slid his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"It's not your fault." He whispered as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." Her voice came out low and raspy, tears as evident in her voice as they were on her face. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"You were upset." He said, stroking her hair. "It's okay." Ellie snuggled in to his chest, curling her body as close to his as possible. She began to cry, upset with herself for missing the birth of her best friends' children and for yelling at Mark. Mark pulled her as close to him as he could without pulling her on to his lap and whispered sweet nothings in to her ear until she had fallen asleep.

* * *

Derek leaned his forehead against the glass and smiled to himself. There they were, his twins. His daughter had Addison's eyes, his son had Addison's bright red hair. The bright blue of Derek's own eyes looked back at him from the little boy, his own dark hair gracing the top of the little girl's head. Derek couldn't help but remember the last 17 hours as he watched them sleep. 

_Derek wrapped Addison in a hug, placing a kiss against her forehead. Almost immediately, Addison gripped his shoulder. "Addie?"_

"_Ow. Oh, ow." She said, pressing her hand to her stomach. "Ow." Derek grabbed the nearest wheel chair and made Addison sit down. "Not yet. Oh come on…ow."_

"_Addie?"_

"_Derek, page Dr. Harden." Derek jumped for the phone, paging Addison's doctor and then resuming his position at Addisons side. _

_Dr. Harden was coming off the elevator when she received the page, and looked up to see Addison and Derek. "Alright, come on." She said, racing towards them. "Let's get Addison to an exam room." Derek wheeled her to the nearest exam room, helping her on to the bed. Derek gripped Addisons hand as Kendel examined her, shaking her head. "You're only two centimeters dilated, Addie. You're not very far along." Addison nodded and then let out a shriek as another contraction came on, her hand gripping Derek's. It took all Kendel had in her not to laugh as Derek's face paled from the death grip Addison was giving him. He managed to whisper something in her ear, and when the contraction was over, he ripped his hand from her grip, spinning away from her._

"_Shit." He whispered, rubbing his hand._

_Kendel leaned towards him, grinning. "It's only going to get worse."_

"_I didn't realize that she was that strong." He whispered, his eyes wide._

"_I'm right here." Addison snapped. Derek turned around, a sheepish look on his face. "Wait…are you okay?"_

"_You have one strong grip, lady." Derek said, kissing her forehead. "But I'm fine."_

Derek rubbed his left hand, staring at the bandage. Richard had made him move his wedding ring to his other hand so that they wouldn't have to cut the ring off if his hand swelled. Addison had sprained his hand.

_Derek walked in to Addisons hospital room, his hand throbbing. It was almost midnight. Addison had been in labor almost 15 hours, and Kendel said that Addison only had about a centimeter left, but Addison was getting impatient. Derek had been trying to reach Ellie, but Bellevue didn't even have a number for her yet, which meant that she was still on the plane._

"_I tried." Derek said, sighing. "I can't reach her. I left a message on her cell phone, but she's still on the plane."_

_Addison took a shaky breath. "Okay."_

"_She'd be here if she could, you know that."_

_Addison nodded. "Yeah. When you talk to her, tell her that it's not her fault…." In the middle of Addison's sentence, her face scrunched up and she gripped the bed. Derek took her hand, leaning against the bed. Addison screamed in pain and Derek bit his lip, trying to hide his own pain. God, she was strong. Addison took a deep breath and let go of his hand._

_Derek shook it out, cringing, and then smiled. "You're almost there baby."_

_Addison scowled. "This is your fault you know. God damn it."_

_Derek almost laughed. He had been expecting that._

Derek pressed his forehead back against the window as his daughter woke, screaming the nurse to her feet. The nurse picked her up and then, when she saw Derek outside the window, carried the baby out to him.

"Do you want to hold her?" Derek nodded, taking his daughter from the nurse. "She looks like you."

Derek grinned. "She has her mother's eyes." He said, staring down in to the same dark green that attracted him to Addison. "Hi baby." He said as she began to calm down.

"What's her name?" The nurse asked, noticing both bassinets just said 'Baby Shepherd'.

"We haven't completely decided yet." The nurse nodded as Derek's beeper vibrated against his hip. "She's awake." He said, smiling. "Can I take them?"

The nurse nodded. "I'll carry your son for you."

Derek smiled. "Thank you."

_Derek placed himself behind Addison, holding her up. The first baby was crowning, and Kendel was having a hard time getting Addison to push._

"_Addison, come on. One more."_

"_Baby…" Derek whispered in her ear, propping her back up against his legs. "You can do this."_

"_No I can't." Addison whimpered, clutching his hand. "I can't, Derek…"_

"_Yes you can." He said. "I know you can." Addison whimpered, took a deep breath and then pushed._

"_There you go Addie. One last time."_

"_You said…"_

"_I know what I said. I'm serious this time." Addison sighed and pushed again, screaming and gripping Derek's hand harder than she had any other time. "There she is…" Kendel said, lifting the baby. "Daddy, you want to cut the umbilical cord?" Derek nodded and leaned forward, his hands shaking, and took the scissors from the nurse. He cut the umbilical cord and then watched the nurse take his daughter to the other side of the room. He let out a held in sigh when the baby began to cry. "Okay, Addison. You've got one left, but this one should be easier." Derek kissed Addison on the head and gave her his hand as she pushed again. A few minutes later, Derek was cutting the umbilical cord for his son and Addison was leaning against him, taking slow, deep breaths._

"_You did it." Derek whispered, kissing her forehead. "You did it, baby." Addison smiled up at him._

"_We have to deliver the placenta, but…" Kendel grinned. "Derek, you should have your hand looked at." Derek looked down at his left hand, which he admitted, hurt. "Seriously."_

_Derek laughed. "Okay." Derek kissed Addison softly on the lips and left the room, running directly in to a group of interns, Richard and Bailey. "She's doing fine. Both of them were born healthy, our daughter first, and then our son."_

_Izzie grinned. "That's so great."_

"_Is Ellie here?" George asked, his voice soft._

_Derek shook his head. "No. She was on her way to Paris when Addison went in to labor. Meredith…can you call Bellevue and get a phone number for her?"_

_Meredith nodded. "Sure."_

"_Thank you." Derek grinned. "Richard, can you help me out with something?" Richard nodded and followed Derek down the hall. "I need you to do an x-ray of my hand."_

"_Why?"_

_Derek chuckled. "I think Addison may have sprained it."_

Derek slowly opened the door to Addison's hospital room and smiled. "Hi baby."

"Hi." Addison smiled. "What happened to your hand?"

Derek shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Did I hurt you?"

Derek shrugged. "Just a little. But it was worth it." Derek gestured for the nurse to give their son to Addison and then the nurse left, shutting the door.

"He has your eyes." Addison said, smiling.

"She has yours." Derek grinned. "We haven't named them yet, Addie."

Addison's eyes widened. "Oh. You're right." Addison took a deep breath. "Well, we'd decided on Jackson, Anthony, Alina and Cadence, right?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah. How about Cadence Alina?"

Addison nodded. "And Jackson Anthony." Derek nodded, turning his attention to Cadence. He held her to him, watching her. "Derek?" Derek looked up, his eyes smiling. "Ellie…?"

"She's on her way. They caught the first plane that they could. She feels horrible."

"It's not her fault. We couldn't have known."

"I told her that. But she still feels bad. You know Ellie."

Addison nodded. "Yeah."

"They'll be here tonight." Addison nodded, holding Jackson to her chest. The Shepherds were sitting in silence when someone knocked on the door.

Izzie popped her head in and smiled. "I was on my way out, and I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."

Addison smiled. "Good. Come in." Izzie came in to the room, shutting the door behind her and making her way to the side of the bed that Derek wasn't on. "This is Jackson." Addison said, grinning. "And Derek is holding Cadence."

Izzie smiled. "He looks like you, Addison." Izzie said, looking down at Jackson.

"You want to hold him?"

Izzie looked taken aback. "Really?" Addison nodded and Izzie took him from her, cradling him in her arms. "He has your eyes." She said, looking up at Derek. "Piercing blue."

Derek nodded. "I know." He grinned, ear-to-ear, and Izzie laughed. Addison looked over at Derek, and he handed Cadence to her, grinning.

Izzie watched them interact while holding Jackson to her chest. "You've entered a very happy family, kid." She whispered, rocking Jackson back and forth. "You're very lucky."

* * *

**4:00 P.M.**

Meredith knocked on Addison's hospital room door and poked her head in.

Addison smiled, hugging one of the babies to her chest. "Come on in, Meredith."

Meredith smiled, noticing Richard sitting next to Addison, holding the other baby as she came in to the room, shutting the door behind her. "I just want to see how you were doing."

"Fine. Have you seen the babies yet?"

Meredith smiled. "Much earlier. They were upstairs then. I don't think they had names yet."

"This one is Jackson." Richard said, beaming like a proud grandfather. Meredith laughed.

"This one is Cadence." Addison said, smiling.

Richard stood and walked over to Meredith. "You want to hold him?"

Meredith's eyes widened. "Oh, no."

"It's okay." Addison said. "It's fine."

Meredith softly took Jackson from Richard, holding him carefully. She gasped when she looked in to his eyes. "He has Derek's eyes." She whispered, looking at Addison. Addison nodded, smiling. "Uh, I came in here to tell you that I just talked to Ellie. They're in Vancouver, Canada. Their flight down here leaves in an hour."

Addison nodded. "Thanks."

Meredith nodded, handing Jackson back to Richard. "I've got patients…"

Addison smiled. "Thanks for stopping by." Meredith smiled and left, running in to Derek as she rounded the corner.

"Hey." He said, his eyes looking slightly tired.

"Hi. I just went in and saw Addison…your son, Jackson…he has your eyes."

Derek nodded. "I know. Miranda said he's going to be a heartbreaker."

Meredith managed a small laugh. "Um, I just told Addison that Ellie and Mark are in Vancouver, Canada. They'll get to SeaTac at about eight."

Derek nodded. "Great. Thanks." Meredith nodded and leaned against the wall as Derek walked away. They were happy, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized that they deserved it.

* * *

**8:30 P.M.**

Ellie slid around the corner, her heels in her hands.

"You're going to kill yourself." Mark said, coming around the corner after her, his own pace at a run.

"I'll be fine." She said, sliding to a stop in front of the nurses' desk. "I don't know…" Ellie looked around for a nurse, or someone. Then she saw George coming out of a room with Izzie down the hall, and she raced in their direction. "Hey!"

"Hey." George smiled. "They're in there." He said, gesturing towards the door Izzie had just shut. Ellie flashed him a grin of thanks and burst through the door.

"Ellie!" Addison grinned. Ellie dropped her shoes by the door and wrapped baby-free Addison in a hug.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, sitting back. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"It's not your fault." Addison said. "We didn't know they were going to be early."

"How are they?" Ellie asked, looking around the room. "Where are they?"

Addison grinned. "The nurses are changing them. They're fine. Being early didn't harm them in anyway, Kendel says they're actually quite healthy." Ellie nodded. "Hey, will you two be their godparents?" Addison asked, looking from Ellie to Mark.

"Yeah." They chorused, grinning. Almost as if on cue, two nurses carried the babies in to the room, handing one to Addison and the other to Derek.

"Cadence Alina…" Addison said, gesturing towards the baby she was holding. "And Jackson Anthony."

Ellie looked down at Cadence and grinned. "God, Addie, she's gorgeous." Derek and Mark joined Ellie and Addison and when Ellie looked over at Jackson she gasped. "Oh my God. Piercing blue. Have people been telling you that all day?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah. Not that I mind."

Ellie laughed and then looked over at Addison as she yawned. "You must be exhausted." Addison nodded. "We'll go."

"No, it's okay." Addison said, fighting off another yawn. "Stay."

"Addie, you need to sleep." Ellie said, squeezing her best friend's hand. "We don't have to be back to New York until Tuesday. We'll be here a couple of days." Addison smiled, but didn't miss Mark cringe. She had figured that he'd want to go back to Paris.

Derek had noticed it too. "You guys can stay at the house. Our new one is almost done, but I'll be here, so you can stay at the house." He handed Mark the key and gave him a knowing look. "Treat it like Paris." Derek whispered, pressing the key in to Marks hand. Mark gave him a thankful look and Ellie hugged Addison one last time before grabbing her shoes from by the door and leaving.

"They're adorable." Ellie said, grinning. Mark nodded absentmindedly and followed Ellie out to the car they had rented. Ellie slid in to the passenger seat, and when he went to shift in to reverse, she stopped him. "What's wrong?"

Mark shook his head. "Nothing. It's stupid, don't worry about it."

"Mark…"

"I said, don't worry about it." He snapped. Ellie ripped her hand away from his as if his hand had just turned extremely hot. "I'm sorry." He said, squeezing her hand. "I'm fine." Ellie nodded, disbelieving, but they rode in silence all the way to the Shepherds. Ellie didn't want to push it.

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

Derek stepped back in to his wifes hospital room after having taken the twins upstairs. Addison was almost asleep, so he slid in next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Did you call your parents?" Addison asked, causing him to jump. "You okay?"

"I thought you were asleep." He said, kissing the top of her head. "Yes, I called my parents. And my sisters. And your brother. And Savvy and Weiss."

Addison smiled. "Thank you."

"Sure. All four of my sisters and my parents want pictures."

Addison laughed. "Okay."

"And Michael asked you to call him when you're out of bed."

"Okay."

Derek kissed the top of Addisons head. "You amaze me, you know that? You really do." Addison mumbled a thank you and snuggled in to his chest. They fell asleep like that, both exhausted, yet on some kind of high that they'd never experienced before. And they weren't about to complain.

* * *

Ellie was sitting by herself in the guest room, flipping through a magazine. There was something wrong with Mark, but he wouldn't tell her what, so they'd gotten in an argument and now he was downstairs on the couch, watching TV. Ellie flipped through the magazine for the third time and sighed. She stood, his sweatshirt comforting around her body. She made the trek downstairs and stepped in front of the TV. 

"Hey!" He said, sitting up. "What are you doing?"

"Why won't you talk to me?" She asked. "You've been acting weird since we got here. You promised me that you wouldn't do this anymore."

"Do what?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"You're pretending that nothing is wrong so that I'll leave you alone. I want to know what's wrong, Mark."

Mark sighed, turning off the television. "I guess….I just didn't realize that we weren't going back to Paris."

Ellie's face fell. "Oh." Ellie sat down next to him, putting her hand on his leg. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"I understand why, Ellie, I just….I wanted to be in Paris."

Ellie nodded. "I did too, but…"

"I know. It's okay."

"It's not okay." Ellie sighed. "I'm going to find a way to make this up to you." Mark gave her a small smile and she kissed him softly. "Come on." Ellie stood up, dragging him to his feet.

"Ellie…" His tone of voice said 'I'm not in the mood' without him having to say it.

"I just want you to sleep next to me." She said, frowning. "Is that too much to ask?"

Mark smiled. "No. Of course not." He followed her up the stairs, crawling in to the guest bed and curling his body up against her back so that they were spooning. "I love you, Eliot."

"I love you too." She whispered, snuggling close to him. Now she just had to figure out how to make it up to him.

* * *

**October 20th, 2006**

**11:00 A.M.**

"I know you already gave me until Tuesday off, but I'm asking you, please, give me another week."

"Why?"

Ellie sighed. "Our trip got cut short. Addison went in to labor, and we flew to Seattle. Addison and the twins are going home today, but even if we fly back to Paris tonight, we're not going to get any time there." Ellie took a deep breath. "Look, you don't have to give me all of December off anymore. The babies were born."

Jim sighed. "Fine. I expect you back a week from this coming Wednesday."

Ellie grinned. "Thank you."

"Yeah. Tell Addison and Derek congratulations."

"I will." Ellie hung up the phone and grinned, walking back in to Addison's room.

"Everything okay?" Addison asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. Jim says congratulations."

"You talked to Jim?" Mark asked.

Ellie smiled. "Yeah. Can I talk to you?" Mark nodded and followed her out of the room. "What did I tell you the first night?" Mark shrugged. "That I'd make it up to you, right?" He nodded. "Well, since I wont need the whole month of December off…Jim said that I don't need to be back until a week from this coming Wednesday." Mark grinned. "So if that doesn't scream Paris, I don't know what does." Mark pulled her in to a hug, spinning her around.

"I love you so much." Mark whispered, holding her in a hug.

"I love you too." She giggled, kissing his cheek. "You wanna set me down babe?" Mark set her on her feet and she smiled. "We leave in the morning."

"For where?" Derek asked, coming out of the room with Cadence in his arms.

"Paris." Mark said, smiling. Derek nodded, knowing that this was going to be good for them.

"You guys are going to Paris?" Addison asked, coming out of the room behind Derek. Ellie nodded. "Good. That's good."

"We'll be back for Christmas." Ellie said, noticing the grim look on Addisons face.

"I know. It was just…good to see you."

Ellie nodded. "I know. It was good to see you too."

"You guys still have all day." Mark said, laughing as the four of them headed out of the hospital. "You'll be fine." Ellie threaded her fingers through Marks and they walked a step behind the Shepherds.

"They make such a cute family." Ellie whispered. Mark nodded, only then acknowledging how much he wanted a family of his own.

* * *

**October 22nd, 2006**

**5:00 P.M.**

Ellie was sitting on the bed in the hotel room, by herself. Mark had gone for a run, but she hadn't felt like it. She had talked to Addison, who was doing well, despite the lack of sleep. Ellie was shaking. She'd just found out that morning. She wasn't quite sure what his reaction was going to be.

Mark came back in and saw Ellie sitting on the bed, her face pale. "El…?" Mark raced to her side, kneeling down in front of her. "Are you okay?" Ellie nodded, playing with the ring on her finger. "Sweetie, what is it?"

Ellie took a deep breath, looking in to his eyes. "I found out something this morning."

"Okay…" Mark took hold of her hands to keep her from fidgeting.

Ellie held her breath and then let it out slowly. "Mark….I'm pregnant."

Mark froze. "Seriously?" Ellie nodded and then looked shocked as a grin spread across his face. "Really?"

"Yeah…" Mark pulled her in to a passionate kiss, sighing in to her mouth. "Mark…"

"You're positive." Ellie nodded, stepping back. "This is fantastic."

"Really? Even though we're not married?"

Mark scoffed. "What do I care if we're married? I want a family with you Eliot."

Ellie grinned. "Well, you're getting one." Mark grinned and then let out a yelp. Ellie's eyes widened. "You're really this excited?"

'I'm beyond excited, Eliot. I'm ecstatic." Mark smiled and kneeled down so that his face was at her stomach. "Hi baby. Hi…" Ellie began to laugh and Mark stood, pulling her in to a hug. "You have no idea how happy this makes me." Ellie grinned, burying herself in his chest. All she could think of was how happy they all finally were.

* * *

**Okay. Unfortunately, that's it. I mean…it. I have an epilogue, and it'll be one to two chapters…but the story is pretty much done. There's not a lot I can do other than an epilogue. But thanks so much for reading it, I love you guys, and look for the epilogue soon. – Mel.**


	55. Time

**Okay. So here's the first half of the epilogue. Thanks for reading this story everyone. I'm really glad you guys liked it.**

**Half Love**

"**Time"**

_Time (time, time),  
Where did you go  
Why did you leave me here alone  
Wait  
Don't go so fast  
I'm missing the moments as they pass  
__Now I've looked in the mirror  
And the world's getting clearer  
I'll take what you give me  
Please know that I'm learning  
So wait for me  
This time –  
_"_Time"  
__By Chantal Kreviazuk_

After spending a week in Paris, Mark and Ellie returned to their normal lives. They had planned on flying out to Seattle for Christmas, but Addison and Derek wanted the twins to spend their first Christmas in New York. Then, in March, everything changed.

* * *

**March 15th, 2007**

**8:00 A.M.**

Ellie woke to the phone ringing. She reached for it, letting out a groan as she picked it up. "Hello?"

"El?"

"Mere?" Ellie said up, Meredith sounded upset. "Is everything okay?"

"It's Mom…"

"What happened?"

Meredith hiccupped. "She…she died early this morning." Ellie's breath caught in her throat. "The funeral is on Saturday. Can you get here?"

"Yeah, of course I can." Ellie slid her legs over the side of the bed, holding the phone to her ear. She was almost 21 weeks pregnant, and the doctor had said that the baby was going to be born healthy.

"You're sure?"

"Meredith, I'm fine to fly. Don't worry about it. We'll be there tonight."

"Okay."

"Mere?"

"Yeah?"

"Was she alone?"

Meredith sighed. "No, Finn and I were there."

"Okay. Good."

"She died peacefully."

"How's Richard taking it?"

Meredith sighed. "He's okay, I guess. He's as okay as a man can be losing a woman that he loves."

"Yeah." Ellie stood up and made her way to the bathroom. "You should get some sleep, Mere."

"Yeah. I'll see you later, El."

"I love you, Mere."

"I love you too." Ellie hung up the phone and leaned on the bathroom counter.

Mark rolled over in bed, reaching for her, and was startled when she wasn't in bed. He slowly opened his eyes and sat up, looking over in to the bathroom. "Eliot?" Ellie didn't look up, just kept her head in her hands. Mark stood up and made his way in to the bathroom. "Honey…" Ellie looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "What happened?"

"That was Meredith. My mom...she died this morning."

"Oh, Ellie…" Mark pulled her in to a hug. Ellie buried her head in his chest, her body shaking with sobs. "Baby…"

Ellie took a deep breath. "I should have known her better."

"Eliot, you knew her as best as you could." Mark said, stepping back so that he could look in to her eyes. Even through the sadness, the grey sparkled just a little. Mark had quickly learned what everyone meant when they said that pregnant women glowed. Ellie had always been beautiful, but the pregnancy had made her more beautiful than Mark ever could have imagined. "When is the funeral?"

"Saturday."

Mark nodded. "Okay. I'll call the airline and get us tickets for today." Mark kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you." She said, managing a smile as he left the bathroom.

* * *

**March 17th, 2007**

**2:00 P.M.**

Ellie stood alone at Ellis' gravestone. Meredith and Richard had both spoken at the service, and Ellie had tried, but she hadn't been able to come up with anything to say. Ellie ran her hands over the top of the coffin as a light Seattle rain began to fall, and pretty soon she was on her knees, crying. "I love you, Mommy." She whispered. "I'll miss you." Ellie took a deep shaky breath and kissed her finger tips, pressing them to the coffin as Mark joined her. She used his arm to stand and they made their way over to where Meredith and Finn were standing.

"You alright?" Meredith asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. You?"

Meredith shrugged. "I guess." Ellie hugged Meredith and then the foursome separated, joining Derek and Addison in their town car.

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked as Ellie slid in to the car.

Ellie shrugged. "Fine, I guess." Ellie leaned in to Mark, threading her fingers through his. Mark kissed the top of her forehead as the car pulled away from the cemetery, taking them to the Shepherds.

* * *

**July 4th, 2007**

**4:00 A.M.**

Ellie gripped Marks hand, cursing silently to herself.

"You're almost there, baby."

"Fuck you." She hissed, the pain racking through her body. Mark looked over at Janie Little, the head of neo-natal at Bellevue.

"I hear that a lot." She said, smiling. "Come on, Ellie. Push." Ellie screamed, tightening her grip on Marks hand. "One more." Ellie gave one last push and then out a huge sigh as Janie handed Mark the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. Ellie leaned back in to the pillow, taking deep, slow breaths. "You've got to deliver the placenta, El." Ellie groaned and made a face before pushing again. A few minutes later, Ellie was holding her daughter, smiling at Mark.

"She's beautiful." Mark said, sighing. "She looks just like you."

"Do you have a name yet?" Janie asked.

"Margaret Ellis." Ellie said, smiling. Mark nodded, and Janie wrote the name down on Ellie's chart.

"I've got to take her upstairs, but I'll be back." Ellie nodded, handing Margaret to Janie. Mark sat down on the bed next to Ellie as Janie left. He didn't say a word, just wrapped his arm around her as she leaned in to him. Ellie fell asleep quickly, but Mark couldn't sleep. He was picturing his little girl, and he couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

**10:00 A.M.**

Addison and Derek could hear Ellie and Mark arguing from down the hall. They each held an 8-month old baby, and were almost reluctant to go in to Ellie's hospital room.

"I already told you…"

"I know what you said. But I want to!"

"I don't care!" Ellie snapped. "I don't." Mark sighed loudly and flew out of Ellie's room, passing the Shepherds without acknowledging them.

Addison poked her head in. "Hi…"

"Addie!" Ellie grinned. "Come on in." They came in to the room, shutting the door behind them.

"We weren't interrupting, were we?" Ellie shook her head and tears began to fall down her cheeks. Derek kissed Addison on the cheek and left the room, taking Cadence with him. Cadence gurgled as Derek rounded the corner and found Mark pacing back and forth.

"Dude…" Derek put on hand on Marks shoulder. "What happened?"

Mark sighed. "She still doesn't want to get married."

* * *

Ellie pulled her knees to her chest and sighed. "He said that we should get married. He says that it's important to him that our daughter grows up with the same last name as her mother and father…but I don't think it matters." 

Addison nodded. "It might not matter to you, but it matters to him."

"I don't want to get married, Addie."

"I know, Ellie. I don't know what to tell you." Ellie looked up as the door opened and Janie came in to the room. "Hi."

"Hi Addison. How are you?"

"I'm good, Janie, how are you?"

"Good." Janie handed Margaret to Ellie and smiled. "She's very healthy, Eliot."

Ellie smiled. "Thank Janie." Janie nodded and left the room.

"What's her name?" Addison asked. "God, she looks like you."

Ellie smiled. "Margaret Ellis. Or Maggie."

"That's cute."

Ellie shrugged. "We tried." Addison laughed. "How long are you guys here for?"

"Five days. After all, we have to celebrate the Fourth of July somewhere."

Ellie's eyes widened. "Oh my God. I didn't really think about it."

Addison grinned. "Your first child was born on the Fourth of July." Ellie grinned. "I think you should consider the marriage thing, Ellie."

"Add…"

"Honey, you love him. Look, do you remember what my brother's wife said to me at my wedding?" Ellie shook her head. "Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." Ellie looked down. "Honey, you're not giving up anything by marrying Mark. You're gaining something wonderful."

Ellie sighed. "I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. I didn't have the same last name as my mother until college, and I could have cared less."

"You didn't live with your mother. It's different when you're under the same roof. How are you going to explain that to your kids?"

Ellie shrugged. "Mommy and Daddy love each other very much? I don't know, Add, all I know is, I don't feel the need to get married. I love Mark with every damn bone in my body, and I don't need a marriage certificate for the world to know that." Ellie sighed. "I'll shout it from the god damn rooftops if he wants me to, but I don't need to get married."

Addison shrugged. "Okay."

"So how are my god-children?" Ellie asked, trying to change the subject.

"They're fine." Addison sighed. "Ellie, are you sure about this?"

Ellie groaned. "Yes. Can you…I need to talk to Mark." Addison nodded, leaving the room. She found Mark sitting in a chair around the corner.

"Is he alright?" Addison asked, walking up to Derek.

Derek shrugged. "I don't really know. He hasn't said anything except, 'she still doesn't want to get married' since I got here." Mark looked up, his eyes sad.

"She wants to talk to you." Addison said. Mark got to his feet and managed a smile before rounding the corner and going in to the room. "But her decision hasn't changed at all."

* * *

"Hi." Ellie said as Mark came in to the room. 

"Hi beautiful." Even though he was upset, seeing her sitting there, holding their daughter, made him fall in love with her all over again.

"I'm sorry." She said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "I really am, but…I just don't want to get married." Mark nodded. "And I don't think I'm ever going to change my mind."

"I know." Mark sighed. "At first I wasn't okay with that, but I thought about it and realized that I love you no matter what. We don't have to get married."

Ellie smiled. "Really?"

Mark placed one hand on her leg and sighed. "I love you, Eliot. That matters way more than your last name. You're my world…whether or not you share my last name." Ellie smiled and he leaned in and kissed her. Addison and Derek were watching them through the window, and Addison smiled.

"You think they'll be okay?" Derek asked.

Addison nodded. "Yeah. I think they're going to be just fine."

* * *

**December 20th, 2009**

**2:00 P.M.**

Ellie and Mark stepped off the plane to Seattle and took in their surroundings. They hadn't been to Seattle since Ellis' death three years before, and from the looks of it, it hadn't changed much.

"Unca." Maggie said, tugging on Marks shirt and pointing somewhere. "Unca, Daddy!"

Mark grinned. "Yeah, baby, you'll get to see Uncle Derek soon."

Ellie cradled her 12 day old son Parker in her arms as they headed in to baggage claim. She smiled when she saw Addison. "Hi."

"Look at him!" Addison said, walking over to them. "He's already so big." Ellie nodded.

"Unca!" Maggie wriggled out of Mark's arms and raced over to Derek. Derek and Addison had been to New York, even though Ellie and Mark hadn't made the trek to Seattle, and Maggie was quite fond of her Uncle Derek.

"Hi Maggie-moo." Derek said, lifting Maggie in to the air. She giggled as he tossed her up in the air.

"Uncle Mark!" Jackson raced over to Mark, attacking him at the knees.

"Hey bud. How's it going?"

"Good. Wassup?" Mark laughed. The last time they'd seen the Shepherds, he'd taught Jackson how to say what's up, which had inevitably turned in to wassup.

"Not a lot, kid, not a lot."

Cadence made her way from Derek's side to Ellie's, tugging at the bottom of her Dolce & Gabbana coat. Ellie handed Parker to Addison and lifted Cadence in to her arms. "Hey C."

"Hi E."

Ellie laughed. "Are you taking care of your mommy for me?"

Cadence nodded. "Uh-huh. She's been a very good girl."

Ellie laughed and glanced over at Addison, who rolled her eyes. "That's good."

"Aunt Merry is letting Maggie and me be in her wedding."

"It's Maggie and I, Cadence." Addison said.

"Right." Cadence grinned. "And Jackson too!"

Ellie grinned. "I know." Ellie smiled and set Cadence down as Derek set Maggie on the ground. "Can you believe they're getting married?"

Addison shook her head. "No. I mean, she and Finn are great together, but I never saw Meredith getting married."

Ellie nodded. "I know. And you two are obviously a lot closer."

Addison grinned. "You could say that."

"Both you and your kids are in her wedding party, Addie."

Addison laughed. "Okay, yes, your sister and I have gotten much closer."

Ellie smiled. "That's awesome, Add."

Addison shrugged. "I guess."

"Are you guys ready?" Derek asked, grinning. The two women nodded and they headed out of the airport, Ellie holding Maggie by the hand, Addison cradling Parker, and each of the guys, holding a child and luggage.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

"Izzie, are you sure?"

Izzie nodded. "Yeah."

Ellie sighed. "I just…there are four kids. You can really handle all of them by yourself?"

Izzie laughed. "Ellie, it'll be fine. Go to dinner. Have fun."

Ellie took a deep breath. "Okay. Call if you need anything."

"I will." Izzie grinned. "Have a good time."

Mark grinned, poking his head in the door. "We will. You coming, El?" Ellie nodded, grabbing her purse and following him down the front steps of Addison and Derek's place. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just worried, that's all. Parker is only 12 days old and…"

Mark stopped her at the bottom of the steps. "Izzie is completely capable, Eliot. And she will call if she needs anything. Just relax and have fun, okay?" Ellie nodded and he pressed a kiss to her lips before they joined Addison, Derek, Meredith and Finn in the limo.

"Is everything okay?" Addison asked. Ellie nodded as they pulled away, leaning in to Mark. Finn handed them each a glass, Mark's filled with champagne, Ellie's with sparkling cider. Ellie glanced over at the glass Addison was holding.

"Addie, are you not drinking?" Addison shook her head grinning. "Wha…are you pregnant?" Addison smiled. "You are!"

"3 months."

Ellie's eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise." Derek said, grinning.

Ellie smiled. "That's awesome."

Meredith raised her glass. "A toast? To Addison and Derek and their third…"

Addison laughed. "To Ellie and Mark, may their never-ending love conquer everything…"

Ellie blushed. "And to Meredith and Finn…may you be happy in everything you do…"

Mark laughed. "And Finn…may God grace you for choosing to spend the rest of your life with a Grey."

Ellie and Meredith both looked at him. "Hey!" Mark kissed Ellie softly before the six of them toasted.

* * *

**11:00 P.M.**

"Ellie, wait." Ellie had already made it out of the limo before Mark had even opened his mouth, and Mark was scrambling out after her.

"Is this normal?" Finn asked.

Addison laughed. "For them."

"What I don't understand is why they haven't discussed this before. I mean, Mere and I talked about how many kids we want…" Finn shrugged. "Don't people normally discuss that before they get married?"

Addison nodded. "Normally. But Ellie and Mark aren't married." Finn looked shocked. "You didn't catch that?"

Finn shook his head. "No. They act like they're married."

Derek nodded. "I know. But Ellie doesn't want to ever get married."

Finn nodded slowly. "Okay then."

"We had a good time." Addison said, smiling. "We should do this again."

Meredith nodded. "We will." Meredith grinned. "Have a good night."

"You too." Derek said, grinning. Derek slid out of the limo first and then helped Addison out. He shut the door and the limo pulled away as Addison and Derek headed up the steps. Izzie was gathering her things and talking to Mark when they walked in.

"How were the kids?" Addison asked, grinning and taking off her coat.

Izzie smiled. "They were fine. I was just telling Mark that Maggie is adorable, and just like Ellie."

Addison nodded. "Yeah, she is. Thanks Izzie."

Izzie smiled. "No problem. Any time." Izzie pulled her coat on and left. Mark put his head in his hands.

"Are you really going to leave Ellie up there fuming?"

"She's with the kids." He said, looking at Addison.

"You should still go up there." Derek added. "Don't be an ass, Mark."

Mark glared. "Thanks." Derek shrugged as he poured himself a glass of water. Mark made his way up the stairs, stopping outside the nursery. Ellie was sitting in the rocking chair, holding Parker. "El…" She shook her head, placing one finger to her lips. Mark leaned against the wall, watching her place him softly in the crib Addison and Derek had set up for him. Ellie watched him for a second and then left the nursery, leaving the door half open. "I'm sorry…"

"Save it." She said, sighing. "You are not."

"Eliot…"

Ellie headed down the hall in to the guest room and sat down on the bed as Mark shut the door. "You want five kids, Mark. You're not sorry."

"I'm sorry I brought it up at dinner. Especially without talking to you first." Ellie nodded. "I didn't mean to spring it on you like that."

"I don't think I can do five kids, Mark."

"It's not like you're going to be doing it alone."

Ellie stared at him. "So you'll carry a couple of them to term?"

Mark looked down. "Okay, so I can't do that, but…"

Ellie shook her head. "I don't want five kids, Mark."

"Can't we talk about this?"

Ellie shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this right now." Ellie took off her heels and turned around. "Will you unzip this?"

Mark obliged, but didn't let go of her. He placed his hands on her waist and pressed a kiss to her lower neck. "Eliot…"

"Please don't, Mark." She said, stepping away from him and gathering pajamas out of their suitcase.

"Eliot…" Ellie shook her head and stepped in to the guest bathroom. Mark sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands. When Ellie came out of the bathroom, Mark was gone.

* * *

**December 21st, 2009**

**1:00 P.M.**

Ellie was sitting on the back deck with Addison, watching Maggie, Cadence and Jackson play in the backyard with Derek and Mark. She smiled a little, seeing Mark with Maggie, but she was still upset. She'd slept alone the previous night, and Mark had been down on the couch, and just a few minutes ago, Maggie had asked her why Daddy was mad at her.

"I wanna know why it's always 'Mommy, why is Daddy mad at you?'." Ellie sighed. "Am I not allowed to be mad or something?"

Addison laughed. "She's two, El. Cut her some slack."

Ellie sighed. "I know, Addie, but, I just…" Ellie groaned. "Forget it."

"Ellie, maybe you should talk to him."

"He left last night."

"He slept on the couch, El. That's hardly leaving."

Ellie took a deep breath, glancing down at Parker, who was sleeping in his carrier. "I can't pop out three more kids, Add."

Addison laughed. "Maybe you two should compromise. Make it three or something."

Ellie shrugged. "I guess." Ellie placed her hand on Parkers carrier and sighed. "I'm going to go inside."

"Okay." Ellie walked inside and as she shut the door, Mark came bounding up the steps. "Hey."

"Hey. Is she okay?"

Addison shrugged. "Maybe you should go talk to her." Mark nodded and headed in to the house. Ellie was sitting on the couch in the front room, her eyes closed.

"El…?"

"Ssshhh…Parker's asleep."

Mark nodded, sitting down on the couch next to her. "Ellie…"

"I'm sorry." She whispered, her eyes still closed. "I freaked out…"

"It's okay." He said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that…"

"I don't want five kids, Mark."

Mark nodded. "I know."

"I could do three, I guess. I just don't want a whole bunch of kids."

Mark nodded. "Three would be good."

Ellie opened her eyes. "Yeah?"

Mark smiled. "Eliot, I want what you want. Sure, maybe I wanted five kids, but you're the mother of my children, and I'm not going to force you in to having kids. I would never do that."

Ellie nodded. "I know that. I didn't mean to get so upset last night…"

Mark shook his head. "It's okay, Eliot." Mark pulled her in to a hug and she slid on to his lap, curling in to his chest. "Don't worry about it." Ellie mumbled something in to his chest. "What?"

"Did you sleep last night?"

Mark frowned. "Not very well. Did you?"

Ellie shook her head. "I tossed and turned."

"We have such a problem." Ellie giggled. "I mean really. What kind of people can't sleep without each other?"

Ellie smiled. "I love you, Mark."

He grinned. "I love you too, beautiful." Ellie snuggled in to his chest and they both quickly fell asleep.

* * *

**June 10th, 2010**

**11:00 A.M.**

Derek cradled his newborn daughter in his arms. Two hours old, Alixandria Michelle Shepherd was going to be the spitting image of her mother, there was no doubt about it. Derek hugged the baby to his chest as he opened the door to Addison's room.

"She's perfect, El. I wish you could see her…" Addison smiled, pressing the phone to her ear. "Honestly, as if I wouldn't send you pictures…hold on. Derek's here with Alix. You want to talk to him?" Addison smiled. "Okay. Here." Addison took Alix from Derek as he took the phone.

"Hello?"

"So, does she look like you or Addie?"

"She's going to be the spitting image of her mother. She really is."

Ellie grinned. "Aw. I can't wait to see pictures. How are Cadence and Jackson?"

"They're good. They're excited about the baby." Ellie laughed. "How are Mags and PJ?"

Ellie sighed. "You call him PJ too? I thought that was just Mark's thing."

"You mean you don't?"

"No, I do not call my son PJ."

"Well, you know, Parker James…"

"I know what it stands for, Derek. I'm not stupid."

Derek laughed. "How are they?"

"They're good. Maggie missed her Unca Dewek, but otherwise they're fine."

Derek laughed. "Well, tell Maggie that Unca Dewek said hi, okay?"

Ellie laughed. "I will. Have a good day."

"We will. Give our love to Mark, okay?"

"I will Bye D."

"Bye El." Derek hung up the phone and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Izzie is bringing Cadence and Jackson in."

Addison smiled. "Good. That's good."

Derek smiled. "Can you believe we have three kids, Addie?" Addison shook her head, smiling. "I just…I'm amazed."

"Amazed?"

Derek shrugged. "At one point I thought I had lost you. And now, here I am, three kids and a beautiful wife that I love to death…I'm just…amazed."

Addison smiled. "Well, I love you too, Derek, and I'm ecstatic that we have three kids." Derek grinned and kissed her. Alix gurgled and they laughed, realizing that they really were very happy.

* * *

**June 1st, 2012**

**11:00 A.M.**

**(8:00 A.M. in Seattle)**

Ellie picked up the phone in her office and sighed. The test results were in, it was official, she was having another baby. It wasn't really that she didn't want another baby, it was that, she was in her fourth year as an attending. Jason had left just six months before, making her the Head of Neurosurgery. It really wasn't the right time, but Ellie figured there never really was a right time. Ellie dialed a number that had been burned in to her head many years ago and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

* * *

Addison sat in the upstairs bathroom, staring at the test in her hand. It was positive. She was going to go through yet another pregnancy, and have yet another baby. Which she was okay with, actually. And she knew Derek would be okay with it. It was just a little bit of a shock. Addison jumped as her cell phone rang. 

"Hello?"

"Add, it's me."

"Hey, El. How are you?"

Ellie sighed. "Um. Fine."

"Just fine?"

"I just got some blood tests back…"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh. God, yes. Sorry, that came out wrong. I'm fine. I'm just…pregnant." Addison was silent on the other end, but soon began to laugh. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"Because…remember how once, a very long time ago, we thought it would be cool to be pregnant at the same time?"

"I was 19, Add. That was…why?"

"Because. I'm pregnant."

Ellie froze. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm pregnant too, Ellie. I'm looking at the test."

"Uh…" Ellie began to laugh. "Oh my God. This is perfect."

"I know, right?"

Ellie giggled. "Okay. I have to call Mark."

"Yeah, I need to talk to Derek."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you El."

"I love you too Add."

* * *

**Okay. There ends the first half of the epilogue. Look for the last half soon, and be sure to check out my new story, Hide Another Mistake. **

**Review please! – Mel.**


	56. Last Day of My Life

**So, since this is the last chapter, I wanted to say something. You guys freaking ROCK. Seriously. I don't know what I would have done without the lot of you, because I have never actually finished a story before. People always get bored, or I get bored, but with this one that didn't happen, and now here I am writing the final chapter. I hope you guys like this. Unfortunately, there isn't going to be a sequel, but I will be finishing Destination: Almost Perfect and working on my new one, Hide Another Secret, so be sure to read those, okay?**

**Thanks again for all the supportive reviews and everything, and I hope you guys like this chapter.**

**Half Love**

"**Last Day of My Life"**

_I'm gonna bring home a dozen roses,  
An' pour us a glass of wine.  
An' I'm gonna put on a little music,  
An' turn down the lights.  
An' I'm gonna wrap my arms around you,  
An' rock you all through the night,  
An' I'm gonna love you,  
Like it's the last day of my...  
Life is a rainbow, it's a spring snow,  
It's the mornin' dew.  
An' I don't wanna waste another minute,  
Without you. –  
_"_Last Day of My Life"  
__By Phil Vassar_

**February 12th, 2013**

**8:00 P.M.**

"I can't believe you're going to be 37." Addison said, grinning.

"Yeah, and you're going to be 45." Addison wrinkled her nose and Ellie laughed. "Oh come on, Addie, it's not that bad."

"Whatever, you haven't even hit 40 yet." Ellie flashed Addison a grin as Derek and Mark came back to the table. "How're they doing?" Addison asked.

"Fine. I don't think I ever thought I'd say this, but…Meredith is actually doing really well with our kids."

Ellie laughed. "The fact that she's pregnant might have something to do with it." Derek shrugged. "But they're okay?"

"Yes." Mark said, kissing the top of the forehead. "She and Finn are doing just fine with the kids. Don't worry."

Ellie nodded. "Right. Okay." Ellie felt a shooting pain go through her body and she grimaced.

"Are you okay?" Addison asked.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, I'm…" Another pain went through her body and Ellie doubled over. "No. I'm not." Mark's face paled. There had to be something really wrong if Ellie actually admitted that something wasn't okay. "Mark…"

"I'm right here." He said, helping her out of her seat. Mark, Addison and Ellie headed to the front as quickly as they could while Derek paid the bill. When Derek came running outside, their car was just pulling up.

"Why didn't you call an ambulance?" Derek asked, getting in to the drivers seat.

"It's not that bad, Derek." Ellie said as Mark helped her in to the backseat and then came in on the other side. "Will you just drive please?" Derek raced away from the restaurant and towards Seattle Grace. Another shooting pain went through Ellie's body and she grabbed at Mark, taking his hand. Addison turned around in the front seat and made eye contact with Mark. Addison hadn't ever seen him look as scared as he did.

"I've got you, Eliot. Hold on." He pressed his lips to the side of her head, holding her in his arms as her body shook with pain. Derek had called the hospital on their way, and when they got there, Miranda and George were waiting outside with a gurney. Mark helped her out of the car and she laid down on the gurney. Mark ran along side the gurney, still gripping her hand, as they wheeled her in to the hospital.

* * *

"She has to have a c-section." Dr. Harden said, sighing. "And she's got to have one now." 

"It's so early." Mark whispered. Ellie gripped his hand as pain went shooting through her body.

"It's pretty much now or never." Kendel said, watching the ultrasound. "Your daughter is being choked by the umbilical cord, and it looks as if the placenta is slowly tearing away from the uterine wall."

"It's okay." Ellie whispered. "I'll be fine." Mark nodded and kissed her palm before helping Kendel wheel her down the hall.

"I love you." Mark said.

Ellie managed a smile. "I love you too."

"Can I be in the OR?"

Dr. Harden shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mark, but I think it would be better if you weren't."

Mark nodded and leaned down, planting a soft kiss on Ellie's lips. "I'll be in the gallery."

"Will you make sure that Addison knows I'm okay?"

"She knows." Addison stepped up next to the bed. "Derek and I will be in the gallery too."

"Take care of my boy, will ya?"

Addison laughed and glanced at Mark briefly. "Always. I love you, El."

"I love you."

* * *

**10:00 P.M.**

Ellie was fading fast, and there wasn't anything else Dr. Harden could do. The baby was in the NICU and Ellie was in the recovery room, but Kendel knew that there wasn't much time left.

"Dr. Sloan?" Mark didn't move. "Mark…" Mark looked up as Kendel softly spoke his name. "I did all I could…"

"Is she still alive?"

Kendel nodded. "But she's fading…" Mark leapt to his feet and squeezed past Kendel and in to Ellie's room. Ellie looked pale and in pain; not at all like herself.

Mark took her hand. "Baby…"

"I love you." She said her voice low and raspy. "More than anything."

"I love you too Ellie." Mark felt the tears burn his cheeks. "Hold on baby…please…"

Ellie took a deep shaky breath. "Tell Addie I said to take care of you…and the kids…" Ellie closed her eyes. "Tell her I said goodbye."

"No." Mark took a short breath. "Hold on, baby. Let me get Addison. Maybe she can…"

Ellie squeezed his hand. "No, Mark. I don't want her to see me like this."

"But she might be able to help…"

"No…" Ellie opened her eyes. "Mark…you're the love of my life…my destiny…"

Mark sat down on the edge of the bed. "And you're mine. Please, Ellie let me see if Addison can help…"

Ellie shook her head. "No. There's nothing else to be done. You have to let me go."

Mark began to visibly cry. "I don't want to." He whispered, clutching her hand. "Eliot…"

"Mark, will you do something for me?"

Mark nodded, taking a deep breath. "Anything, beautiful."

"Kiss me." She whispered. "Please?" Mark responded without speaking; he locked eyes with her and leaned down to kiss her. His lips landed softly on hers, and he could taste the salt of his own tears. Their tongues touched briefly, and in that moment, Mark's heart pained with the wish that it was him, and not her, lying in that hospital bed. "I love you." She whispered as he pulled back, her eyes closed.

"I love you too." Ellie squeezed his hand and Mark began to pray that God would grace him by letting her live. A few minutes later her grip on him went limp and she flat-lined. It was all he could do not to scream out in rage. Instead he sat there, head on her chest, for a few more minutes before turning off the machines and exiting the room.

Addison looked up as the door opened, her hand gripping Derek's.

Mark took a deep breath. "She told me to tell you goodbye."

* * *

**February 15th, 2013**

**9:00 A.M.**

Mark paced the corridor of the funeral home, wringing his hands. He had tried to stand out front with Meredith, but after the 90th, 'I'm so sorry for your loss', he'd had to leave. Meredith had Finn to keep her sane, Mark didn't have anyone.

"Hey." Derek came around the corner, adjusting the tie he was wearing. "How are you doing?" Mark scowled. "It was just a question."

"How am I supposed to do this without her?"

"Mark…"

Mark stopped pacing. "Maggie's five, PJ's three, and I have a two-day-old little girl that I still haven't named yet…"

"What about Ellie?"

"What?"

"Name her Ellie…"

"No." Mark vigorously shook his head. "I…I can't. I…"

"Okay, okay. It was just an idea. We'll figure it out."

Mark took a deep breath. "Derek, she told me that I was her destiny. Do you know what she meant?"

Derek nodded. "Yeah, I do."

_Ellie rested her head on Derek's legs._

"_Do you believe in destiny, D?"_

"_I used to."_

"_What changed?"_

"_My wife cheated on me, Ellie."_

_Ellie sighed. "Okay, but what if she hadn't?"_

_Derek took a deep breath. "Then, yeah, I believe in destiny."_

"_Why?"_

"_What are you, five?"_

"_Answer the question, D."_

_Derek sighed, leaning his head back. "I guess I believe in destiny because my parents did. They always told us, 'there's someone you're destined to be with. You just have to find them.' All four of my sisters found their destiny…"_

"_How do you know Addison isn't still your destiny?"_

_Derek sighed and took a swig from the vodka bottle they'd been passing back and forth. "She cheated on me. Destiny doesn't cheat."_

_Ellie sighed, running her fingers over Derek's legs. "I guess I just never understood destiny."_

"_I didn't really either, until Addie. I remember she was seeing this guy Frank, or Franco…something like that…and he brought her to New Years in Times Square. She took my breath away."_

_Ellie smiled. "That's how you knew that it was meant to be?"_

"_No. I knew it was meant to be when she told me that she'd seen me around school and had always wanted to ask me out. When it's destiny…I don't know. There was something about her statement that stuck with me."_

"_Is she still your destiny?"_

_Derek shrugged. "She might be. I think I'm going to have to get over the cheating thing first."_

"_Yeah…" They were both silent for a few minutes and then Ellie rolled on to her back, looking up at him. "Hey D?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Do you think Mark was my destiny?"_

"_I don't know, El. Maybe he was." Derek sighed. "Maybe he still is."_

_Ellie nodded, closing her eyes. A few minutes later she opened them again. "D?"_

"_What?"_

"_Do you think there's a difference between destiny and fate?"_

_Derek sighed. "You know, El, I really don't know."_

"So I'm the person she was destined to be with?" Derek nodded and Mark kicked the wall. "God damn it!"

"Mark…"

"It's not fair." Mark hissed, slamming against the wall. "She was 37. She hadn't even reached 40." Mark took a shaky breath. "I don't know how to do this without her. I never imagined living without her…"

"Say her name, Mark."

"What?"

"For the last two days, it's been 'she' and 'her'. Not once have you said 'Ellie'."

"I can't…"

"Mark…"

"I can't Derek. Don't you understand…?" Mark slid down the wall and Derek sat down next to him.

"All I know is, Ellie wouldn't want you to forget her."

"I'm not going to forget her."

Derek sighed. "Okay. How are Maggie and PJ?"

Mark put his head in his hands. "PJ doesn't understand. He thinks she's coming home. And Maggie…" Mark took a shaky breath. "Maggie thinks that it's my fault." Mark broke then, bursting in to tears. "Maggie thinks that I killed Ellie." Derek didn't know what to say, so he did what he thought Ellie would have done. He put an arm around Mark and let the man sob.

* * *

**10:30 A.M.**

Derek shifted his feet back and forth as Meredith finished talked about Ellie. Addison was sitting next to him, gripping his hand. Derek turned around and made sure that his parents were doing okay with the kids.

"Stop." Addison whispered, touching his knee. "They're fine."

"I'm sorry." He whispered back. He glanced over at Mark, who was watching Meredith intently.

"Derek…" She hissed, squeezing his knee. "Please don't."

Derek looked over at her and the pain in her eyes made his heart break. "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

Addison just shook her head as if she didn't want to hear it, but Derek knew that she was trying not to break. He was trying the same thing.

"Addison." Mark's hiss of her name caused both of the Shepherds to jump. Mark was standing in front of the room, peering down at her.

"I'm sorry." She said, standing and joining Mark. "My apologies." She waited until Mark had taken his seat and then cleared her throat. "I met Ellie when she was 18. When we met, I knew we'd be friends for a long time to come. The fact that we shared not only a birthday but hidden obsessions with Nirvana and raw cookie dough said a lot to me." Addison took a deep, shaky breath. "Ellie has been my best friend for almost twenty years. She was my maid of honor and godmother to all three of my children. Ellie loved a lot of things. She loved life, she loved being a doctor, she loved her kids, she loved Mark…but most of all, Ellie loved without expecting much of anything in return. That's what made her such a great best friend. My husband knows what I mean, Mark knows what I mean…Ellie loved us despite out flaws, and our mistakes." Addison took a deep breath. "I'll forever be indebted to Ellie for loving me and being my best friend. I could never have imagined my life without her." Addison closed her eyes, and Derek could tell she was really trying not to cry. Addison placed one hand on her pregnant stomach and tilted her head up. "We miss you already, _sorella_. I wish you were here. I've never gone through something this tough without you." Addison took one last deep breath. "I love you, El." As Addison sat down and Derek clutched her hand, Derek could almost hear Ellie whisper, "I love you too Add."

* * *

**8:00 P.M.**

Derek was sitting on the couch in the living room when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. Derek turned. "Hi Mom."

"Hello." Elaine Shepherd eyed her son carefully. She was an observant woman, and had noticed that something besides Ellie dying had been bothering him all day. "Derek…" She sat down next to him. "Something has been bothering you all day…"

"Mom, Ellie just died…"

"There's something else." She looked at him. "Isn't there?"

Derek sighed. "My wife's best friend and the love of my best friends life just died and I could only think about one thing…" Derek took a deep, shaky breath. "It could have been Addison." Derek put his head in his hands. "Having kids after 35 is so risky, but Addie did it. And Ellie had one child after 35 and she's gone." Derek looked up at his mother, tears in his eyes. "But it could have been Addison."

"But it wasn't."

"No." Derek closed his eyes. "But it could have been. And I can't lose her."

Elaine sighed. "Derek, go upstairs and talk to her. You've been acting strange all day. God only knows what she's thinking."

Derek nodded. "Okay." Derek gave his mom a hug and headed up the stairs. Addison was seated on their bed, a photo album balancing on her pregnant stomach. "Hi." He said, standing in the doorway.

"Hi." Addison's voice was teary.

"How are you holding up?"

Addison took a shaky breath. "Okay, I guess."

Derek nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I know I was acting strange all day…"

"Ellie was one of your best friends, Derek…"

"It was more than that." Derek placed the photo album on the bedside table and took her hands. "It could have been you." He whispered.

"Derek…"

He shook his head. "We've run such a risk because of you having kids after 35, and we've been lucky. This was Ellie's first baby after 35…I just…" Derek broke, letting tears fall down his face. "I can't lose you, baby. I can't."

"Oh, Derek…" Addison squeezed his hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Derek nodded. "I love you…" She said, leaning forward to kiss him.

"I love you too." He said, kissing her back. Addison slid down on the bed and curled up so that her back was facing him. Derek curled up next to her and as he put his arm around her waist, Addison began to sob.

"I miss her." Addison whispered. "I don't know what I'm going to do." Addison hiccupped and took a shaky breath. "She was my best friend for almost twenty years, Derek."

"I know."

"I don't know what to do." Derek pulled Addison closer, unsure of what to say. Addison turned around so that she was facing him and buried her head in his chest. Derek ran his fingers through her hair and they fell asleep that way.

* * *

**February 13th, 2029**

**7:00 P.M.**

16-year-old Casey Sloan sat in the guest room of her godparents house in Seattle and sighed. She was waiting for her godmother, her "Aunt" Addison, when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Casey said, leaning against the headboard. She was expecting Addison but was pleasantly surprised when the door opened. "Elliot!" Casey's best friend and Addison and Derek's youngest son came flying in to the room.

"Hey Case." Elliot threw his arms around her and grinned. From the pictures his parents had shown him, Casey looked just like her mother, and Casey knew for a fact that Elliot was the spitting image of his father, Casey's "Uncle" Derek. "Happy Birthday."

Casey smiled. "Thanks."

"Dad said the four of us were going out to dinner."

"Yeah. My Dad couldn't make it out here, and Addison said Alix is otherwise preoccupied."

Elliot laughed. "Means she has a date. Dad hates talking about Alix or Cadence going on dates, so that's Moms code language for it."

Casey laughed. "Addison cracks me up."

"Dad says your Mom was pretty funny too." Casey looked down. "Aw, jeez…I'm sorry Case…"

Casey shook her head. "No, it's okay. I like hearing about her. It's just weird since you never knew her either." Elliot nodded and Casey sat down on the edge of the bed. "Sometimes your Mom will call my cell and leave me messages just talking about her…I love those because it's so hard for my Dad to talk about her."

"Your Dad doesn't talk about her?"

"No, he does, but he always gets so sad. You know he hasn't ever dated anyone?"

Elliot shook his head. "No, I didn't know that." Truth was, he knew, but he wasn't about to tell Casey that his parents were worried about Mark.

Casey took a shaky breath. "I wish I'd known her at all. Parker remembers that her hair smelled like roses and that sleeping between her and Dad was like being wrapped in a big blanket that either smelled like roses and cologne or scrubs." Casey began to cry. "Maggie says that she called Addison everyday, and was always laughing and joking. Derek has said that she was always thinking of others, Cadence told me once that my Mom was one of her favorite people…" Casey sighed. "I'm tired of stories, Elliot. I wish I could meet her." Elliot took a deep breath and sat down next to her, pulling her in to a hug. They sat like that for a few minutes, Elliot letting Casey cry in to his chest. All of a sudden Casey looked up.

"What?" Casey gave him a mischievous grin that reminded him of a picture he'd seen of Ellie and then leaned in and kissed him. Casey's stomach jumped when their lips touched. "Casey…"

"I'm sorry…I…"

Elliot put a finger to her lips. "It's okay. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…"

"Really?" Casey grinned. "We should do it again." Elliot laughed and leaned in again. Their lips had just barely touched when the door opened.

"Whoa." Addison let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry."

Elliot groaned. "Mom…"

"We have to go. Your father's waiting."

"Okay." Elliot stood and held out his hand for Casey's. She took it with a smile and they left the room. Addison gripped the bracelet Derek had given both her and Ellie.

"Happy Birthday Ellie." Addison grinned. "Our kids, El. Who'd a thunk?"

* * *

**July 4th, 2035**

**10:00 A.M.**

Casey ran her fingers through her soft curls and sighed. She couldn't believe she was getting married. At twenty-two.

"I wish you were here, Mommy." She whispered. Casey took a deep breath as the door opened.

"Oh, Casey…" Addison breathed. "You look beautiful…and just like her."

Casey smiled. "Thank you." Casey sat down. "I wish she was here."

Addison nodded. "Me too, love." Addison pressed a hand to Casey's heart. "But she's here."

Casey nodded. "I know."

Addison smiled. "Good. Now, have you got something new?

"The dress and the shoes."

"Something borrowed?"

"The necklace." Casey said, touching her neck. "It's Alix's."

"Something blue?" Casey lifted her dress and revealed a blue lace garter. "Very nice."

"I don't have anything old."

Addison smiled, handing her a box. "Try this." Casey cocked an eyebrow, reminding Addison of Ellie, and opened the box, pulling out a silver bracelet.

"Isn't this like yours?"

Addison nodded. "It used to be your mothers. Your Dad gave it to me when she died."

Casey smiled and wrapped Addison in a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. You know what it says, right?"

Casey nodded. "Family is about more than blood. It's an unbreakable connection that no one else understands."

* * *

An hour later, Derek Shepherd stood at the front of the church with his youngest son, while Mark Sloan walked his youngest daughter down the aisle. 25 minutes later Elliot Michael Shepherd and Cassandra Marie Sloan were united as Elliot and Casey Shepherd, connecting the Shepherds and the Sloans like no one else had.

* * *

On September 16th, 2036, Casey and Elliot gave birth to a little girl names Elizabeth Montgomery Shepherd. 

They called her Ellie.

* * *

**Well, that's it. Half Love is over.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading.**

**- Mel.**


	57. Authors Note

**A/N:** For those of you that are interested, I've just published a sequel, entitled The Heinrich Maneuver. It can be found under my profile. Hope you like it!


End file.
